All language subtitles for Dont.Hug.Me.Im.Scared.2022.S01E01.Jobs.1080p.ALL4.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.x264-BTN[eztv.re]
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1
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,760
ALL: # There's three of us
2
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,520
# There's three of us
3
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,760
# Look closely, you will see
4
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,600
# There's three of us
5
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,240
# Just three of us
6
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,600
# There's him and you and me
7
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,040
# And every day, we all hang out
8
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,480
# To find out what we talk about
9
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,960
# And I'm the one that's over here
10
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,360
# And I'm the one that's over here
11
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,680
# And I am over here
12
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,440
ALL: # That's three of us
13
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,200
# Just three of us
14
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,560
# Us three. #
15
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,040
Oh, look, it's morning.
16
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,360
Huh, I guess we stayed up all night
talking again.
17
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,320
Well, what are we supposed
to be doing now?
18
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,840
Um... What?
19
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,800
I would like to know what's
meant to happen today.
20
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:16,960
Right, yeah.
21
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,760
Let me check the schedule.
22
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,400
Oh.
23
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,840
Oh. Says here we don't have anything
planned.
24
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,000
Says we're doing nothing.
25
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,680
What? Nothing?
26
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,200
Nothing at all?
27
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,800
That's what it says on the schedule.
28
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,240
No, we need to do something.
29
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,560
Especially me.
30
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,720
Honestly, I don't mind it.
31
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,600
How about we just give it another
20 minutes?
32
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,080
No, it's too dull.
33
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,480
Only dull people think things are
dull.
34
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,440
What? I'm not dull?
35
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,840
I'm the best one.
36
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,400
What do you think we should do?
37
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,360
Oh, my, will you look at the time!
38
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,240
I'd better get going.
39
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,800
Wha...? Who is this?
40
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,280
Why didn't we get breakfast?
41
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,960
I certainly wouldn't want to be late
for my job, would I?
42
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,480
Um, probably not. I don't know.
43
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,280
Cheerio, then!
44
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,760
See you. Bye. Wait.
45
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720
Can you tell us what we're supposed
to... Whoops!
46
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,760
Almost forgot my briefcase!
47
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,320
Look, he's one of those guys
who has one of himself.
48
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,360
Hey, where are you going?
To my job, of course.
49
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,480
I've got a million things to do
today.
50
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,680
A million things?
51
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,200
Wow.
52
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,800
Hm. Sounds stressful.
53
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,960
Not at all!
54
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,160
If you found the right job,
it won't even feel like work.
55
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:45,000
In fact, you'll feel like an angel!
VOICE ECHOES
56
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,920
Wow. I've got a job.
57
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,280
On my shoulder.
58
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,680
That's not a job.
59
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,000
That's a welt.
60
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,360
Is that true?
61
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,480
Yeah.
62
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,080
I think we'll have to pass.
We've got other plans, I'm afraid.
63
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,920
No, we don't. We're not doing
anything. Yeah, exactly.
64
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,720
Sign us up for three jobs
straight away. Yeah.
65
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,040
Steady on there, friend.
66
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,240
You need to find the right one
first!
67
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,920
Well, no. What about Nothing Day?
It was supposed to be Nothing Day.
68
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,400
I was looking forward to doing that.
69
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,560
# You can be anything you want to do
70
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,320
# It's totally up to you
71
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,080
# Even if you don't know what to do
72
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,600
# I can help you, show you
73
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,960
# You could be the guy who types
so fast on computers
74
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,720
# Clackity, clackity, clackity,
clack
75
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,320
# Oh, you could be the one who kicks
so hard at a football
76
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:32,920
# It's a goal!
77
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,880
# Oh, you could be the one who bangs
the hammer when he's angry
78
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,080
# Order!
79
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,640
# Oh, you could be the one who makes
people better when they're poorly
80
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,080
Oh, careful! What are you doing?
81
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,920
# Maybe I could be the one
who plants a tree
82
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,280
# Cuts it down to make a shed
83
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:53,320
# And I will invent a digital
currency based around respect
84
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,600
# And I would really prefer to do as
little as possible
85
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,680
# Or nothing at all. #
86
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,960
Is that an option?
87
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,680
What, you want to sit around all
day, a great big guy like you?
88
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,800
He's not that big.
89
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,040
OK, I get it.
90
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,240
So, you want to be like my brother,
91
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,400
Unemployed Brendan.
92
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,440
Take it away, Brendan!
93
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,800
# Oh, you don't want to end up
like me
94
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,720
# Oh, I'm very shameful and upset
95
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,080
# My brother is quite successful
and perfect
96
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,320
# Even though I'm older than him. #
97
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,360
What's he saying?
98
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,120
I don't want to do this anymore!
99
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,120
What's wrong? Come on,
that was good! Go on.
100
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,480
Yeah. Yeah, it's...good.
101
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,280
Keep going, Unemployed Brendan.
102
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,200
Why can't you just call me Brendan?!
103
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,800
My name is Brendan!
104
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,040
Oh, don't be like that.
This isn't fair!
105
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,080
Ow! My hand!
106
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080
You all right?
What did you say to me?!
107
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,120
Is your hand all right?
108
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,240
Are you gonna publish my novel?
Um, no.
109
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,840
SHOUTING: Then leave me alone!
110
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,560
# I could be the one who tells all
the soldiers to stand up straight
111
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,000
# Attention!
112
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,600
# I could be the one who drives
a truck full of ice creams
113
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,120
# Yum, yum! Have one!
114
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,640
# You could be the one who cuts
people's hair for a party
115
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,160
So it looks smart. It looks dumb.
116
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,000
# Maybe I could be the one who
catches all the fishes in a big net
117
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,280
Uh, there's nothing in it.
118
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,080
# Oh, you could be the guys who fly
so high to a space moon
119
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,920
# Oh, you could be the guys who work
as a team in the workplace
120
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,560
Yes!
121
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,480
# Or you could be the ones who
dig a hole for a funeral. #
122
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,800
Huh?
123
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:36,000
SINGING CONTINUES
124
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,400
What?
125
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,800
Where'd he go?
126
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,480
HE CLEARS THROAT
Uh, sorry to interrupt, guys.
127
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:01,000
Have any of you seen a strange, uh,
box person?
128
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,840
Box?
129
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,160
Eh?
130
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,560
No, no. He's more of a business bag.
131
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,080
He's a brown bag.
132
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,040
He eats breakfast.
133
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,960
He's one of those ones with one
of himself.
134
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,160
PHONE RINGS
135
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,160
Uh, also, I think the phone's
ringing.
136
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,840
You need to be more aggressive.
137
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,200
That's how you get ahead in the
workplace. Give it here.
138
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,600
Attention, freaks. It's me.
139
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,360
We're supposed to be starting
our new job any moment.
140
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,560
How do we get out of here
and away from you immediately?
141
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,360
How strange. They're pretending
they don't respect me.
142
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,360
And the phone's still ringing, guys.
143
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,520
Isn't...?
144
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,800
Sorry, but isn't anyone going to
get that?
145
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,120
RINGING CONTINUES
146
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,600
Don't get too close to them.
147
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,600
They look feral.
148
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,360
RINGING CONTINUES
149
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,880
Uh, hello?
150
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,800
You're through to, uh... Oh.
151
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:12,120
..Peterson's And Sons And Friends
Bits & Parts Limited.
152
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,200
Huh.
153
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,320
What are you doing?
154
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,480
We're making bits and parts.
155
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,720
Although sometimes, I feel a bit
like the parts are making me!
156
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,400
Oh, Andy! That makes me laugh.
157
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,600
Yep, I'm a bit of a cheeky guy
sometimes.
158
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,040
Yeah, I wish! You and whose army?
159
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,200
THEY LAUGH
160
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,600
Uh-huh.
161
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,720
Good job, team-mate.
162
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,360
That's what I call
a quality product.
163
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,640
So, how do we get out of here?
164
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,720
Sorry, I'm just at work.
165
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,280
What? What are you doing?
166
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,920
I'm making bits and parts,
167
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,480
although sometimes, I feel a bit
like the bits and parts
168
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,080
are making...me.
169
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,360
SHE LAUGHS
Good one!
170
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,920
HE LAUGHS
Here, let me have a go.
171
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,800
CREATURE SHRIEKS
172
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,760
What?! Oh, dear.
173
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,040
CREATURE SHRIEKS
174
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,240
Hey, my thing that I did!
175
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,320
I think Duncan's looking for you.
176
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,360
Duncan's in charge of the website.
177
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,480
Look, he's working on the website
now.
178
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,760
Duncan?
179
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,280
Duncan...
180
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,920
Hm. That's not a website.
181
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,080
Eh?
182
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,040
The website's under construction.
183
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,240
Here you go.
184
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,720
Don't forget your helmet!
185
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,080
You don't want to have an accident.
186
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,840
They're more common than you think.
187
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,640
Oh, thanks, guys.
188
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,800
What about me?
I should get the helmet.
189
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,760
I've got the most valuable brain.
190
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,080
Hm. Here. Give me yours.
191
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,400
Argh! Ah!
192
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,680
That's lunch!
193
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,040
# He's a vending machine
194
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,240
# It's a vending machine
195
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,960
ALL: # We all eat lunch from a
vending machine
196
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,840
# He's a vending machine
197
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,280
# That's a vending machine
198
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,680
# We all eat lunch near
a vending machine
199
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,200
# Some people say it's not real food
200
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,200
# But I quite like it and I think
you will, too. #
201
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,600
Stop it! Oh.
202
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,160
Uh-huh. OK, yeah.
203
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,400
Well, I don't actually work here.
Bye.
204
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,400
Wow, nice work!
205
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,320
You're a real go-getter, aren't you?
206
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,880
Am I? Uh, I don't think I am.
Most people say...
207
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,360
I think you are, and you've got such
a beautiful telephone voice,
208
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,920
if I may say so myself.
209
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,000
Oh. Thanks. That's very kind,
actually.
210
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,120
Thank YOU.
211
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,760
Why don't you sit down,
make yourself comfortable? Uh...
212
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,560
Oh, I've got a fax coming
through for you!
213
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,840
SHE STRAINS
214
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,680
Oh, that's nice.
215
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:54,760
Who's this from?
216
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800
Me.
217
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,960
Hi there. How are you?
How is your child?
218
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,120
Good, thanks.
219
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:06,120
I like my child, but not as much as
I like...lasagne!
220
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,240
One restaurant-style lasagne
coming up. Mm!
221
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,480
When are we going to go?
222
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,040
I thought I was supposed to invent
a digital currency, not this.
223
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,000
What? We can't go.
It's only lunchtime.
224
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,240
What's he saying in there?
225
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,320
What's he walking around for?
Is he lost?
226
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,520
Hey, come on. Let's not talk about
work over lunch.
227
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,760
Don't even talk to Clare until
she's had her lasagne.
228
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,320
THEY LAUGH
229
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,320
Oh, stop forming a bond with them.
230
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,440
We should go.
231
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,240
If you're going, can I have your
lasagne?
232
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,040
Get away from me, Duncan. Aw.
233
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,400
You must be the new guy
I've been hearing so much about.
234
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,440
How are you? How is your child?
235
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,040
Good, thank you.
You don't have a child.
236
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,040
One restaurant-style lasagne
coming up.
237
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,600
And don't forget your hot black
water - on the house!
238
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,600
Mm-mm, it's good!
239
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,680
Lunch!
240
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,960
All right, machine.
I'd like two of everything, please.
241
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,080
Ooh, I'm sorry.
242
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,200
It looks like you forgot your
lunch token.
243
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,120
What? Nobody else had tokens.
244
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,240
Don't worry. You can still get a
meal from the free vending machine.
245
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,080
MACHINE CREAKS
246
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,360
Hi.
247
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,480
What can I get you?
248
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,320
Um...do you have the lasagne?
249
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,480
Yeah, I reckon.
250
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,240
Hold your hand out, then.
251
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,320
OK.
252
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,200
MACHINE GRUNTS
253
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,200
Actually, that's too much.
254
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,320
Put some back. Mm.
255
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,680
No, no, I can't help you.
256
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,280
I don't work here.
257
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,920
OK, fine.
258
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,280
SHOUTING: Bye!
259
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,360
HE SIGHS
260
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,760
Get a load of you.
261
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,520
I really liked what you did at the
end there. What was that?
262
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:57,400
Yeah, uh, I guess I kind of
yelled a bit.
263
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,600
It's like it's your voice,
but it's even more of it.
264
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,760
Is it? Uh, I should probably get
going now.
265
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,240
It sounds like it's lunchtime.
266
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,120
Oh, you don't have to get your own
lunch. We've got it here for you.
267
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,880
Look, it's salmon with diamonds.
268
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,520
Oh. I don't know if you can eat
diamonds. Can you eat diamonds?
269
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,960
Oh, we'll just get something else.
Well, don't throw it away.
270
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,040
HE SCOFFS
That's wasteful.What are you doing?
271
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,360
Well, I was gonna put it in the bin,
shouldn't I?
272
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,160
Don't do it yourself. Make the bin
do it. He's pathetic.
273
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,400
Yes, sir, I'm pathetic!
274
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,960
Sir? Why's he calling me sir?
275
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,800
Because you're the boss.
You're the boss! I'm not the boss.
276
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,880
Yes, you are. You're
upper management. Look! Yeah!
277
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,000
Am I? What does that mean?
278
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,720
It means you can do anything
you want.
279
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,920
Oh. Great.
280
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,080
You could even fire somebody
if you like.
281
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,760
Yeah. Fire somebody.
282
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,800
Fire somebody?
283
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,880
Hey, hey, hey, you don't have to
fire someone,
284
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,000
but it's the kind of thing
Mr Peterson would do.
285
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,320
Fire somebody! Fire me!
286
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,480
OK, calm down.
You could fire him, or kill him.
287
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,920
For the world!
288
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,560
THROUGH TELEVISION: So, you're a new
employee here
289
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,600
at Peterson's And Sons And Friends
Bits & Parts Limited.
290
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,280
I imagine you've probably been
thinking a bit
291
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,440
about what part you play.
292
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,280
Like a sporting team or the army,
293
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,880
our business runs on something
called teamwork.
294
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,400
From the manufacturing team...
Hello!
295
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,040
..to the big brains in
upper management... I'm busy.
296
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,760
..we all have a vital role to play.
Him? No!
297
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,200
Even Duncan on the website. Hi!
298
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,760
Health and Safety.
299
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,840
First things first -
300
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,040
we are well aware of our reputation,
but health and safety is important
301
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,440
to us in our own special way.
302
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,200
What? What does that even mean?
303
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,680
What that means is that, at some
point, we will have an accident,
304
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,000
and that's a promise because we feel
that only a freak accident helps us
305
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,640
appreciate all the times we're not
being burnt in a grease fire
306
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:51,160
or mangled in a piece of machinery.
307
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,200
Thanks for listening, and if you're
still having trouble fitting in...
308
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,240
Who's in charge around here?
That's it.
309
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,480
HE HUMS
310
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,120
Er, excuse me,
do you have an appointment?
311
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,840
That's it.
I've had enough of this place.
312
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,600
What do you want? I'm busy.
313
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,400
Busy? What are you talking about?
314
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,200
We've only been here for
nine minutes.
315
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,720
Hang on a second.
What are you wearing?
316
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,560
Don't say that. He looks smart.
317
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,360
Smart dress clothes only.
318
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,880
Is that a lanyard?
319
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,880
What? No.
HE LAUGHS
320
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,640
This is a laminated tag.
321
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,440
The lanyard itself is the fabric
festooning it.
322
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,760
I thought everyone knew that.
What have they done to you?
323
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,640
Look, I told you, I'm busy.
324
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,160
If you're having trouble fitting in,
then maybe you should book in
325
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,480
a session with the Carehound.
326
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,600
Otherwise, I've got
important work to do.
327
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,920
Important work?
What are you talking about?
328
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,520
Nobody here does anything at all.
329
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,800
All they do is turn bits into parts.
330
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,960
Hey, he can't talk to you like that.
331
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,280
Yeah, you're just jealous cos I'm
actually good at it.
332
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,600
And I look like a smart boy in
my outfit.
333
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,680
Good at what?
334
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,560
All you do is pick up the phone.
335
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,040
Anyone can do that.
336
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,040
What you doing? Don't do that.
Don't do that.
337
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,360
PRINTER SCREAMS
338
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,840
Ah!
339
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,640
He can't do that!
Quick, show him who's boss!
340
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,120
CHANTING: Do it! Do it! Do it!
Do it!
341
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,760
RED GUY: Uh...
342
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,200
But... Please, do it!
343
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,320
Ow! Do it!
344
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,880
That's it.
345
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,440
Here, take your things.
346
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,400
What? These aren't my things.
347
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,320
I'm afraid I'm letting you go.
348
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,880
Letting me go?
349
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,920
From what?
350
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,560
TOILET FLUSHES
351
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,680
Oh, hello. Ha! You all right?
352
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,520
Working hard or hardly working, eh?
353
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,440
You didn't wash your hands.
354
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,160
Yeah, so what?
355
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,800
Somebody else will do it.
356
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,280
Anyway, back to the grindstone, hey.
357
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,600
# Vending machine... #
358
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,800
But...
359
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,680
What do you think it means
to have a job?
360
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,560
Some people think it's just
something you do between breakfast
361
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,280
and dinner, but not me.
362
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,520
Whatever else is going on,
my job provides me...
363
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,160
OVER PHONE: ..high call volume.
364
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,400
Please stay on the line.
Your call is important to us.
365
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,320
A member of the
Urinal Support Service
366
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,440
will be with you as soon as
they can.
367
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,240
Ugh. If you're about to overflow,
please hang up and dial...
368
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,320
So, I guess that's what my job
means to me.
369
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,480
I hope that made a difference.
370
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,520
If you're having trouble coping
at work,
371
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,880
please ring the below number.
372
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,120
Or the above number.
373
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,880
Or the diagonal number.
374
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,840
ELEVATOR: Hi there.
How was your day today
375
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,800
at Peterson's And Sons And Friends
Bits & Parts Limited?
376
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,920
Not good. I got let go.
377
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,440
Please answer by selecting a member
of the emotion family.
378
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,640
What?
379
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,560
I don't know these emotions.
380
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,240
You sound stressed.
381
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,560
Would you say you're feeling
overwhelmed with stress?
382
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,800
I'm not stressed. I'm unemployed.
383
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,160
I understand.
We all feel a bit lost sometimes.
384
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,720
Perhaps there's still a place
for you here, after all. What?
385
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,040
We just need to deal with
your attitude.
386
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,280
# I see that you're having problems
387
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,400
# And your stress is getting you
overwhelmed
388
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,400
# Maybe you need a break
389
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,600
# Or something to take
390
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,640
# To help you when you need help
with yourself
391
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,840
# We'd like to make some suggestions
392
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:41,000
# Here's some guidance for dealing
with stress
393
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:47,200
# Just a small exercise that may
help you stay calm
394
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,560
# When your stressful behaviour
is bad. #
395
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,600
Try to imagine all your thoughts
396
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,200
are squeezed inside a cube
397
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,720
and the cube is in a garden.
398
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,280
But the garden isn't real
399
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,680
and the cube is made of nothing.
400
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,600
Now, let's imagine we're in
a library,
401
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,120
and there's loads and loads of books
402
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,600
and they represent the cube.
403
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,960
And the cube is actually you.
404
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,120
What? That's it. I'm not a cube.
405
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,240
Turn it off.
406
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,080
So, you'd like to register
a complaint with the Carehound?
407
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,120
Um...
408
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,480
Just whisper your complaints
very quietly into the mouth
409
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,720
of the Carehound.
410
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,840
Shouldn't I whisper into its...ear?
411
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,520
No, no. Just right into the mouth
of the Carehound.
412
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,840
Let it all out.
413
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,880
Um...
414
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,160
Argh!
415
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,600
INDISTINCT CLAMOUR
416
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:54,840
There you are.
417
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,080
So, how are you feeling?
418
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,360
I feel...
419
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,360
I feel like...
420
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,800
..I'd better get back to work.
421
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,200
Glad to have you back on board.
422
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,880
ELEVATOR: Hi there.
How was your day today at...?
423
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,760
I'm part of the team.
424
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,400
You must be the new guy.
425
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,600
Guilty.
426
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,680
HE LAUGHS
You're a cheeky guy, too.
427
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,000
You'll fit right in.
428
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,640
What's all this?
It's the retirement party.
429
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,000
Sign the card?
430
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,920
Rumour has it even Mr Peterson's
going to do a speech.
431
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,160
Wow, Mr Peterson!
432
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,960
I like the sound of that.
433
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,400
Oh. Sh, sh.
434
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,280
Here he comes.
435
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,720
HE COUGHS
436
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,120
Hello, employees.
437
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,800
As you know, I've been in upper
management for a long, long time.
438
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,040
Oh. That's Peterson.
439
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,240
But today isn't all about me.
440
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,960
It's about another guy.
That's... No.
441
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,120
Somebody who has been working hard
442
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,920
or hardly working here for many
years now.
443
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:22,480
So, let's all wish him a
fond farewell on his...
444
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,440
Many...years?
445
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,000
HE LAUGHS
446
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,640
Wait.
447
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,480
This... This isn't...
448
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,320
Of course, he's joined by his
beautiful wife, Clare,
449
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,520
and his lovely daughter, Jackie.
450
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,040
CLARE AND JACKIE: Yay!
451
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,440
But I think everyone might agree
with me when I say what a guy.
452
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,720
40 years.
453
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,120
Can you believe it?
454
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,680
CLARE: The big 4-0.
455
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,000
No.
456
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,560
No, I can't.
457
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,600
This...
458
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:55,880
This...
459
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,880
Yay! The website's going on!
VOICE ECHOES
460
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,040
Yah!
461
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,400
This isn't what we're supposed
to be doing!
462
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,040
Uh...
463
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,000
My card! Me too old!
464
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,200
Argh!
465
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,600
Finally, the accident!
466
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,040
Yeah, it's here!
467
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,440
Yay, Daddy!
468
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,840
This does make me appreciate
not being in an accident.
469
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,880
I feel so alive, yeah!
470
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,200
Do something!
471
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,400
WORKERS SCREAM
472
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,840
You're fired!
473
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,080
Not that!
474
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,480
Argh!
475
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,600
Hey! Huh?
476
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,600
# Oh, you could be the one who gets
the post from the postbox
477
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,800
Huh?
478
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,560
# Oh, you can be the one who paints
a picture with a paintbrush
479
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,880
Wait, what?
480
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,600
# Oh, you could be the one who makes
the shoes for the horsies
481
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,160
Where...? Where's my phone?
482
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,160
# Oh, you can be the one who spends
all day with the sad ones
483
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,400
What?
484
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,080
# You can be anything you want
to do! #
485
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,760
YELLOW GUY BREATHES HEAVILY
486
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,720
What? Huh?
487
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,040
My hand.
488
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,720
My child.
489
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760
Oh, my lanyard.
490
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:22,840
And my weight gain.
491
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,560
Well, I'd better be off.
492
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,760
Come on, Brendan.
Time for your bath.
493
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,360
Meh!
494
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,080
Wait, what was all of that?
495
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,120
All of that stuff that we just did.
496
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,680
What was it all for?
497
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,320
Ha! Oh, yes! I almost forgot!
498
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,440
You've earned this.
499
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,480
Whoa.
500
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,280
Argh!
501
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,200
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