All language subtitles for Dont.Hug.Me.Im.Scared.2022.S01E01.Jobs.1080p.ALL4.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.x264-BTN[eztv.re]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,760 ALL: # There's three of us 2 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,520 # There's three of us 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,760 # Look closely, you will see 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,600 # There's three of us 5 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,240 # Just three of us 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,600 # There's him and you and me 7 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,040 # And every day, we all hang out 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,480 # To find out what we talk about 9 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,960 # And I'm the one that's over here 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,360 # And I'm the one that's over here 11 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,680 # And I am over here 12 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,440 ALL: # That's three of us 13 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,200 # Just three of us 14 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,560 # Us three. # 15 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,040 Oh, look, it's morning. 16 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,360 Huh, I guess we stayed up all night talking again. 17 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,320 Well, what are we supposed to be doing now? 18 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,840 Um... What? 19 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,800 I would like to know what's meant to happen today. 20 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:16,960 Right, yeah. 21 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,760 Let me check the schedule. 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,400 Oh. 23 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,840 Oh. Says here we don't have anything planned. 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,000 Says we're doing nothing. 25 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,680 What? Nothing? 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,200 Nothing at all? 27 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,800 That's what it says on the schedule. 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,240 No, we need to do something. 29 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,560 Especially me. 30 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,720 Honestly, I don't mind it. 31 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,600 How about we just give it another 20 minutes? 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,080 No, it's too dull. 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,480 Only dull people think things are dull. 34 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,440 What? I'm not dull? 35 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,840 I'm the best one. 36 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,400 What do you think we should do? 37 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,360 Oh, my, will you look at the time! 38 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,240 I'd better get going. 39 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,800 Wha...? Who is this? 40 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,280 Why didn't we get breakfast? 41 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,960 I certainly wouldn't want to be late for my job, would I? 42 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,480 Um, probably not. I don't know. 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,280 Cheerio, then! 44 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,760 See you. Bye. Wait. 45 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720 Can you tell us what we're supposed to... Whoops! 46 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,760 Almost forgot my briefcase! 47 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,320 Look, he's one of those guys who has one of himself. 48 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,360 Hey, where are you going? To my job, of course. 49 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,480 I've got a million things to do today. 50 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,680 A million things? 51 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,200 Wow. 52 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,800 Hm. Sounds stressful. 53 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,960 Not at all! 54 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,160 If you found the right job, it won't even feel like work. 55 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:45,000 In fact, you'll feel like an angel! VOICE ECHOES 56 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,920 Wow. I've got a job. 57 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,280 On my shoulder. 58 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,680 That's not a job. 59 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,000 That's a welt. 60 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,360 Is that true? 61 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,480 Yeah. 62 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,080 I think we'll have to pass. We've got other plans, I'm afraid. 63 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,920 No, we don't. We're not doing anything. Yeah, exactly. 64 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,720 Sign us up for three jobs straight away. Yeah. 65 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,040 Steady on there, friend. 66 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,240 You need to find the right one first! 67 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,920 Well, no. What about Nothing Day? It was supposed to be Nothing Day. 68 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,400 I was looking forward to doing that. 69 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,560 # You can be anything you want to do 70 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,320 # It's totally up to you 71 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,080 # Even if you don't know what to do 72 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,600 # I can help you, show you 73 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,960 # You could be the guy who types so fast on computers 74 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,720 # Clackity, clackity, clackity, clack 75 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,320 # Oh, you could be the one who kicks so hard at a football 76 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:32,920 # It's a goal! 77 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,880 # Oh, you could be the one who bangs the hammer when he's angry 78 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,080 # Order! 79 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,640 # Oh, you could be the one who makes people better when they're poorly 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,080 Oh, careful! What are you doing? 81 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,920 # Maybe I could be the one who plants a tree 82 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,280 # Cuts it down to make a shed 83 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:53,320 # And I will invent a digital currency based around respect 84 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,600 # And I would really prefer to do as little as possible 85 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,680 # Or nothing at all. # 86 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,960 Is that an option? 87 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,680 What, you want to sit around all day, a great big guy like you? 88 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,800 He's not that big. 89 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,040 OK, I get it. 90 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,240 So, you want to be like my brother, 91 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,400 Unemployed Brendan. 92 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,440 Take it away, Brendan! 93 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,800 # Oh, you don't want to end up like me 94 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,720 # Oh, I'm very shameful and upset 95 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,080 # My brother is quite successful and perfect 96 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,320 # Even though I'm older than him. # 97 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,360 What's he saying? 98 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,120 I don't want to do this anymore! 99 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,120 What's wrong? Come on, that was good! Go on. 100 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,480 Yeah. Yeah, it's...good. 101 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,280 Keep going, Unemployed Brendan. 102 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,200 Why can't you just call me Brendan?! 103 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,800 My name is Brendan! 104 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,040 Oh, don't be like that. This isn't fair! 105 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,080 Ow! My hand! 106 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080 You all right? What did you say to me?! 107 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,120 Is your hand all right? 108 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,240 Are you gonna publish my novel? Um, no. 109 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,840 SHOUTING: Then leave me alone! 110 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,560 # I could be the one who tells all the soldiers to stand up straight 111 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,000 # Attention! 112 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,600 # I could be the one who drives a truck full of ice creams 113 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,120 # Yum, yum! Have one! 114 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,640 # You could be the one who cuts people's hair for a party 115 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,160 So it looks smart. It looks dumb. 116 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,000 # Maybe I could be the one who catches all the fishes in a big net 117 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,280 Uh, there's nothing in it. 118 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,080 # Oh, you could be the guys who fly so high to a space moon 119 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,920 # Oh, you could be the guys who work as a team in the workplace 120 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,560 Yes! 121 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,480 # Or you could be the ones who dig a hole for a funeral. # 122 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,800 Huh? 123 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:36,000 SINGING CONTINUES 124 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,400 What? 125 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,800 Where'd he go? 126 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,480 HE CLEARS THROAT Uh, sorry to interrupt, guys. 127 00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:01,000 Have any of you seen a strange, uh, box person? 128 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,840 Box? 129 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,160 Eh? 130 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,560 No, no. He's more of a business bag. 131 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,080 He's a brown bag. 132 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,040 He eats breakfast. 133 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,960 He's one of those ones with one of himself. 134 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,160 PHONE RINGS 135 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,160 Uh, also, I think the phone's ringing. 136 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,840 You need to be more aggressive. 137 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,200 That's how you get ahead in the workplace. Give it here. 138 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,600 Attention, freaks. It's me. 139 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,360 We're supposed to be starting our new job any moment. 140 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,560 How do we get out of here and away from you immediately? 141 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,360 How strange. They're pretending they don't respect me. 142 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,360 And the phone's still ringing, guys. 143 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,520 Isn't...? 144 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,800 Sorry, but isn't anyone going to get that? 145 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,120 RINGING CONTINUES 146 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,600 Don't get too close to them. 147 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,600 They look feral. 148 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,360 RINGING CONTINUES 149 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,880 Uh, hello? 150 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,800 You're through to, uh... Oh. 151 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:12,120 ..Peterson's And Sons And Friends Bits & Parts Limited. 152 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,200 Huh. 153 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,320 What are you doing? 154 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,480 We're making bits and parts. 155 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,720 Although sometimes, I feel a bit like the parts are making me! 156 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,400 Oh, Andy! That makes me laugh. 157 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,600 Yep, I'm a bit of a cheeky guy sometimes. 158 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,040 Yeah, I wish! You and whose army? 159 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,200 THEY LAUGH 160 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,600 Uh-huh. 161 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,720 Good job, team-mate. 162 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,360 That's what I call a quality product. 163 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,640 So, how do we get out of here? 164 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,720 Sorry, I'm just at work. 165 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,280 What? What are you doing? 166 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,920 I'm making bits and parts, 167 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,480 although sometimes, I feel a bit like the bits and parts 168 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,080 are making...me. 169 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,360 SHE LAUGHS Good one! 170 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,920 HE LAUGHS Here, let me have a go. 171 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,800 CREATURE SHRIEKS 172 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,760 What?! Oh, dear. 173 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,040 CREATURE SHRIEKS 174 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,240 Hey, my thing that I did! 175 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,320 I think Duncan's looking for you. 176 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,360 Duncan's in charge of the website. 177 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,480 Look, he's working on the website now. 178 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,760 Duncan? 179 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,280 Duncan... 180 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,920 Hm. That's not a website. 181 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,080 Eh? 182 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,040 The website's under construction. 183 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,240 Here you go. 184 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,720 Don't forget your helmet! 185 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,080 You don't want to have an accident. 186 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,840 They're more common than you think. 187 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,640 Oh, thanks, guys. 188 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,800 What about me? I should get the helmet. 189 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,760 I've got the most valuable brain. 190 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,080 Hm. Here. Give me yours. 191 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,400 Argh! Ah! 192 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,680 That's lunch! 193 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,040 # He's a vending machine 194 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,240 # It's a vending machine 195 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,960 ALL: # We all eat lunch from a vending machine 196 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,840 # He's a vending machine 197 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,280 # That's a vending machine 198 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,680 # We all eat lunch near a vending machine 199 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,200 # Some people say it's not real food 200 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,200 # But I quite like it and I think you will, too. # 201 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,600 Stop it! Oh. 202 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,160 Uh-huh. OK, yeah. 203 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,400 Well, I don't actually work here. Bye. 204 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,400 Wow, nice work! 205 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,320 You're a real go-getter, aren't you? 206 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,880 Am I? Uh, I don't think I am. Most people say... 207 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,360 I think you are, and you've got such a beautiful telephone voice, 208 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,920 if I may say so myself. 209 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,000 Oh. Thanks. That's very kind, actually. 210 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,120 Thank YOU. 211 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,760 Why don't you sit down, make yourself comfortable? Uh... 212 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,560 Oh, I've got a fax coming through for you! 213 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,840 SHE STRAINS 214 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,680 Oh, that's nice. 215 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:54,760 Who's this from? 216 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800 Me. 217 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,960 Hi there. How are you? How is your child? 218 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,120 Good, thanks. 219 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:06,120 I like my child, but not as much as I like...lasagne! 220 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,240 One restaurant-style lasagne coming up. Mm! 221 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,480 When are we going to go? 222 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,040 I thought I was supposed to invent a digital currency, not this. 223 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,000 What? We can't go. It's only lunchtime. 224 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,240 What's he saying in there? 225 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,320 What's he walking around for? Is he lost? 226 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,520 Hey, come on. Let's not talk about work over lunch. 227 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,760 Don't even talk to Clare until she's had her lasagne. 228 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,320 THEY LAUGH 229 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,320 Oh, stop forming a bond with them. 230 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,440 We should go. 231 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,240 If you're going, can I have your lasagne? 232 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,040 Get away from me, Duncan. Aw. 233 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,400 You must be the new guy I've been hearing so much about. 234 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,440 How are you? How is your child? 235 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,040 Good, thank you. You don't have a child. 236 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,040 One restaurant-style lasagne coming up. 237 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,600 And don't forget your hot black water - on the house! 238 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,600 Mm-mm, it's good! 239 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,680 Lunch! 240 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,960 All right, machine. I'd like two of everything, please. 241 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,080 Ooh, I'm sorry. 242 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,200 It looks like you forgot your lunch token. 243 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,120 What? Nobody else had tokens. 244 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,240 Don't worry. You can still get a meal from the free vending machine. 245 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,080 MACHINE CREAKS 246 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,360 Hi. 247 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,480 What can I get you? 248 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,320 Um...do you have the lasagne? 249 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,480 Yeah, I reckon. 250 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,240 Hold your hand out, then. 251 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,320 OK. 252 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,200 MACHINE GRUNTS 253 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,200 Actually, that's too much. 254 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,320 Put some back. Mm. 255 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,680 No, no, I can't help you. 256 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,280 I don't work here. 257 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,920 OK, fine. 258 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,280 SHOUTING: Bye! 259 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,360 HE SIGHS 260 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,760 Get a load of you. 261 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,520 I really liked what you did at the end there. What was that? 262 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:57,400 Yeah, uh, I guess I kind of yelled a bit. 263 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,600 It's like it's your voice, but it's even more of it. 264 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,760 Is it? Uh, I should probably get going now. 265 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,240 It sounds like it's lunchtime. 266 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,120 Oh, you don't have to get your own lunch. We've got it here for you. 267 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,880 Look, it's salmon with diamonds. 268 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,520 Oh. I don't know if you can eat diamonds. Can you eat diamonds? 269 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,960 Oh, we'll just get something else. Well, don't throw it away. 270 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,040 HE SCOFFS That's wasteful.What are you doing? 271 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,360 Well, I was gonna put it in the bin, shouldn't I? 272 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,160 Don't do it yourself. Make the bin do it. He's pathetic. 273 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,400 Yes, sir, I'm pathetic! 274 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,960 Sir? Why's he calling me sir? 275 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,800 Because you're the boss. You're the boss! I'm not the boss. 276 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,880 Yes, you are. You're upper management. Look! Yeah! 277 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,000 Am I? What does that mean? 278 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,720 It means you can do anything you want. 279 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,920 Oh. Great. 280 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,080 You could even fire somebody if you like. 281 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,760 Yeah. Fire somebody. 282 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,800 Fire somebody? 283 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,880 Hey, hey, hey, you don't have to fire someone, 284 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,000 but it's the kind of thing Mr Peterson would do. 285 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,320 Fire somebody! Fire me! 286 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,480 OK, calm down. You could fire him, or kill him. 287 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,920 For the world! 288 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,560 THROUGH TELEVISION: So, you're a new employee here 289 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,600 at Peterson's And Sons And Friends Bits & Parts Limited. 290 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,280 I imagine you've probably been thinking a bit 291 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,440 about what part you play. 292 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,280 Like a sporting team or the army, 293 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,880 our business runs on something called teamwork. 294 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,400 From the manufacturing team... Hello! 295 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,040 ..to the big brains in upper management... I'm busy. 296 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,760 ..we all have a vital role to play. Him? No! 297 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,200 Even Duncan on the website. Hi! 298 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,760 Health and Safety. 299 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,840 First things first - 300 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,040 we are well aware of our reputation, but health and safety is important 301 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,440 to us in our own special way. 302 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,200 What? What does that even mean? 303 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,680 What that means is that, at some point, we will have an accident, 304 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,000 and that's a promise because we feel that only a freak accident helps us 305 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,640 appreciate all the times we're not being burnt in a grease fire 306 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:51,160 or mangled in a piece of machinery. 307 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,200 Thanks for listening, and if you're still having trouble fitting in... 308 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,240 Who's in charge around here? That's it. 309 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,480 HE HUMS 310 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,120 Er, excuse me, do you have an appointment? 311 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,840 That's it. I've had enough of this place. 312 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,600 What do you want? I'm busy. 313 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,400 Busy? What are you talking about? 314 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,200 We've only been here for nine minutes. 315 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,720 Hang on a second. What are you wearing? 316 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,560 Don't say that. He looks smart. 317 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,360 Smart dress clothes only. 318 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,880 Is that a lanyard? 319 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,880 What? No. HE LAUGHS 320 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,640 This is a laminated tag. 321 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,440 The lanyard itself is the fabric festooning it. 322 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,760 I thought everyone knew that. What have they done to you? 323 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,640 Look, I told you, I'm busy. 324 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,160 If you're having trouble fitting in, then maybe you should book in 325 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,480 a session with the Carehound. 326 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,600 Otherwise, I've got important work to do. 327 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,920 Important work? What are you talking about? 328 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,520 Nobody here does anything at all. 329 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,800 All they do is turn bits into parts. 330 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,960 Hey, he can't talk to you like that. 331 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,280 Yeah, you're just jealous cos I'm actually good at it. 332 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,600 And I look like a smart boy in my outfit. 333 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,680 Good at what? 334 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,560 All you do is pick up the phone. 335 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,040 Anyone can do that. 336 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,040 What you doing? Don't do that. Don't do that. 337 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,360 PRINTER SCREAMS 338 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,840 Ah! 339 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,640 He can't do that! Quick, show him who's boss! 340 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,120 CHANTING: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 341 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,760 RED GUY: Uh... 342 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,200 But... Please, do it! 343 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,320 Ow! Do it! 344 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,880 That's it. 345 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,440 Here, take your things. 346 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,400 What? These aren't my things. 347 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,320 I'm afraid I'm letting you go. 348 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,880 Letting me go? 349 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,920 From what? 350 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,560 TOILET FLUSHES 351 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,680 Oh, hello. Ha! You all right? 352 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,520 Working hard or hardly working, eh? 353 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,440 You didn't wash your hands. 354 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,160 Yeah, so what? 355 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,800 Somebody else will do it. 356 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,280 Anyway, back to the grindstone, hey. 357 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,600 # Vending machine... # 358 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,800 But... 359 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,680 What do you think it means to have a job? 360 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,560 Some people think it's just something you do between breakfast 361 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,280 and dinner, but not me. 362 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,520 Whatever else is going on, my job provides me... 363 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,160 OVER PHONE: ..high call volume. 364 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,400 Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. 365 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,320 A member of the Urinal Support Service 366 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,440 will be with you as soon as they can. 367 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,240 Ugh. If you're about to overflow, please hang up and dial... 368 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,320 So, I guess that's what my job means to me. 369 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,480 I hope that made a difference. 370 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,520 If you're having trouble coping at work, 371 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,880 please ring the below number. 372 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,120 Or the above number. 373 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,880 Or the diagonal number. 374 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,840 ELEVATOR: Hi there. How was your day today 375 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,800 at Peterson's And Sons And Friends Bits & Parts Limited? 376 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,920 Not good. I got let go. 377 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,440 Please answer by selecting a member of the emotion family. 378 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,640 What? 379 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,560 I don't know these emotions. 380 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,240 You sound stressed. 381 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,560 Would you say you're feeling overwhelmed with stress? 382 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,800 I'm not stressed. I'm unemployed. 383 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,160 I understand. We all feel a bit lost sometimes. 384 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,720 Perhaps there's still a place for you here, after all. What? 385 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,040 We just need to deal with your attitude. 386 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,280 # I see that you're having problems 387 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,400 # And your stress is getting you overwhelmed 388 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,400 # Maybe you need a break 389 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,600 # Or something to take 390 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,640 # To help you when you need help with yourself 391 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,840 # We'd like to make some suggestions 392 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:41,000 # Here's some guidance for dealing with stress 393 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:47,200 # Just a small exercise that may help you stay calm 394 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,560 # When your stressful behaviour is bad. # 395 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,600 Try to imagine all your thoughts 396 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,200 are squeezed inside a cube 397 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,720 and the cube is in a garden. 398 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,280 But the garden isn't real 399 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,680 and the cube is made of nothing. 400 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,600 Now, let's imagine we're in a library, 401 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,120 and there's loads and loads of books 402 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,600 and they represent the cube. 403 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,960 And the cube is actually you. 404 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,120 What? That's it. I'm not a cube. 405 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,240 Turn it off. 406 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,080 So, you'd like to register a complaint with the Carehound? 407 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,120 Um... 408 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,480 Just whisper your complaints very quietly into the mouth 409 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,720 of the Carehound. 410 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,840 Shouldn't I whisper into its...ear? 411 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,520 No, no. Just right into the mouth of the Carehound. 412 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,840 Let it all out. 413 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,880 Um... 414 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,160 Argh! 415 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,600 INDISTINCT CLAMOUR 416 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:54,840 There you are. 417 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,080 So, how are you feeling? 418 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,360 I feel... 419 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,360 I feel like... 420 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,800 ..I'd better get back to work. 421 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,200 Glad to have you back on board. 422 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,880 ELEVATOR: Hi there. How was your day today at...? 423 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,760 I'm part of the team. 424 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,400 You must be the new guy. 425 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,600 Guilty. 426 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,680 HE LAUGHS You're a cheeky guy, too. 427 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,000 You'll fit right in. 428 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,640 What's all this? It's the retirement party. 429 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,000 Sign the card? 430 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,920 Rumour has it even Mr Peterson's going to do a speech. 431 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,160 Wow, Mr Peterson! 432 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,960 I like the sound of that. 433 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,400 Oh. Sh, sh. 434 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,280 Here he comes. 435 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,720 HE COUGHS 436 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,120 Hello, employees. 437 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,800 As you know, I've been in upper management for a long, long time. 438 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,040 Oh. That's Peterson. 439 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,240 But today isn't all about me. 440 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,960 It's about another guy. That's... No. 441 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,120 Somebody who has been working hard 442 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,920 or hardly working here for many years now. 443 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:22,480 So, let's all wish him a fond farewell on his... 444 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,440 Many...years? 445 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,000 HE LAUGHS 446 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,640 Wait. 447 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,480 This... This isn't... 448 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,320 Of course, he's joined by his beautiful wife, Clare, 449 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,520 and his lovely daughter, Jackie. 450 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,040 CLARE AND JACKIE: Yay! 451 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,440 But I think everyone might agree with me when I say what a guy. 452 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,720 40 years. 453 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,120 Can you believe it? 454 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,680 CLARE: The big 4-0. 455 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,000 No. 456 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,560 No, I can't. 457 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,600 This... 458 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:55,880 This... 459 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,880 Yay! The website's going on! VOICE ECHOES 460 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,040 Yah! 461 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,400 This isn't what we're supposed to be doing! 462 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,040 Uh... 463 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,000 My card! Me too old! 464 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,200 Argh! 465 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,600 Finally, the accident! 466 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,040 Yeah, it's here! 467 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,440 Yay, Daddy! 468 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,840 This does make me appreciate not being in an accident. 469 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,880 I feel so alive, yeah! 470 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,200 Do something! 471 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,400 WORKERS SCREAM 472 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,840 You're fired! 473 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,080 Not that! 474 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,480 Argh! 475 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,600 Hey! Huh? 476 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,600 # Oh, you could be the one who gets the post from the postbox 477 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,800 Huh? 478 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,560 # Oh, you can be the one who paints a picture with a paintbrush 479 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,880 Wait, what? 480 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,600 # Oh, you could be the one who makes the shoes for the horsies 481 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,160 Where...? Where's my phone? 482 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,160 # Oh, you can be the one who spends all day with the sad ones 483 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,400 What? 484 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,080 # You can be anything you want to do! # 485 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,760 YELLOW GUY BREATHES HEAVILY 486 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,720 What? Huh? 487 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,040 My hand. 488 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,720 My child. 489 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760 Oh, my lanyard. 490 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:22,840 And my weight gain. 491 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,560 Well, I'd better be off. 492 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,760 Come on, Brendan. Time for your bath. 493 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,360 Meh! 494 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,080 Wait, what was all of that? 495 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,120 All of that stuff that we just did. 496 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,680 What was it all for? 497 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,320 Ha! Oh, yes! I almost forgot! 498 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,440 You've earned this. 499 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,480 Whoa. 500 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,280 Argh! 501 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,200 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 33250

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.