Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:55,640 --> 00:01:00,031
An ex-High Court judge seriously injured,
market stalls set on fire
2
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,437
and damage estimated
at one quarter of a million pounds.
3
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,519
That was the toll when the inquiry
into the proposed 399 motorway
4
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,316
turned from legal wrangling into bitter violence
in the marketplace of Worford.
5
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,875
(SIREN)
6
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,752
- Billiards at the club?
- I'd better say no, Minister. My wife.
7
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,872
Nonsense, Densher. Wives are for weekends.
8
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,758
- Goodnight, sir.
- Oh, goodnight.
9
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:17,957
Wives for weekends, mothers for Christmas,
whores for foreign conferences. That is my view.
10
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:24,870
But for ordinary everyday existence, there's
nothing like the celibate peace of a fellow's club.
11
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,275
Who was that, the bike chap?
12
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:34,671
Oh, Dundridge, Minister. He's in "Leisure
Activities". He's rather odd. Bit of an innovator.
13
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,110
Oh, is he?
14
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,313
I wonder how Leakham's getting on
with that Worford motorway inquiry.
15
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,557
All right, I expect. Fine legal mind, Leakham.
16
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,115
Yes. Sharp as a needle.
17
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,471
This is the bone of contention,
a famous beauty spot, Cleene Gorge.
18
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:17,313
General Burnett, you're a defender of the gorge.
Would you say local feeling is running high?
19
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,239
Oh, yes, there's a lot of steam locally, you know.
20
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,193
An Englishman's house is his castle, you know!
21
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,069
We wish to stay green our motherland soil.
22
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,439
Just so.
23
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,871
Leading the protest are
Sir Giles and Lady Maud Lynchwood,
24
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,230
whose historic mansion is threatened.
25
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,954
- My family have lived here...
- Lady Maud!
26
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,913
My grandmother was seduced
by King Edward VII.
27
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,554
Now I am to be evicted from my family home,
28
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:48,070
thrown God knows where
into what penury and servitude.
29
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:55,152
I ask the nation what true English person
in all conscience can stand idly by?
30
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,316
Your turn, old man.
31
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:01,229
You ought to look at this, sir.
It's the Worford motorway inquiry.
32
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,795
Not in the middle of a game, Densher.
33
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,355
(ANGRY CROWD ON TV)
34
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,635
(SHOUTING)
35
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,240
I say, isn't that Lady Maud Lynchwood?
36
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,669
Isn't that a teat hanging out there?
37
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,315
Can't somebody help me?
38
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,511
She's lost a couple of teeth.
39
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,109
- Look at this! Who's that chap?
- He's out of hand.
40
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,879
- Where's Leakham? Why doesn't he stop it?
- Here he is, sir.
41
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,993
Inquiry chairman Lord Leakham
took the full brunt of the crowd's rage.
42
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,430
A mob overturned his Rolls.
43
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,076
Government property!
44
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,317
As he struggled through the crowd,
a stone struck him.
45
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,114
HE'S government property! This is damnable!
46
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,797
Tonight the picturesque old market town
of Worford looks like a battlefield.
47
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,389
A well-known landowner and magistrate...
48
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,956
- Your drinks, sir.
- Not now, man. It's a national crisis!
49
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,310
Yes, sir. Another.
50
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:18,231
And motorists who waited years for the motorway
link are asking, "Must we wait yet again?"
51
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,830
Paul McDowell, television news,
in riot-mangled Worford.
52
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,715
- This is an outrage. What will the press say?
- And the PM.
53
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,558
- She'll give me Northern Ireland!
- Leakham's made a complete mess of it.
54
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,716
He always was a total idiot!
55
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,514
You recommended him to me.
"Fine legal mind."
56
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,678
A very well regarded total idiot, Minister.
57
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,758
All right, Densher. What do we do now?
58
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,076
Well, I suggest that we send
a troubleshooter down to Worford, sir.
59
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:52,400
Someone who can mollify local opinion
and negotiate with all interested parties.
60
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:57,628
All right, Densher, but someone different
this time, someone with flair and initiative.
61
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,273
- Who is there?
- What? In the Ministry, sir?
62
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,515
(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, Sir Geoffrey!
63
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,552
- What is it now?
- Telephone, sir. A lady for you.
64
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:20,513
Tell her I can't possibly talk now.
What did she want?
65
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,996
She didn't say, sir. It's the Prime Minister.
66
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,440
- Oh, God!
- Exactly, Minister.
67
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,349
Quick, Densher, what's the name of our chap,
the troubleshooter?
68
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:37,078
Ah, well, Minister, there's, er...
there's, er... Dundridge! He's different.
69
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:42,912
Just the chap someone mentioned to me today.
I want him in my office first thing tomorrow!
70
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,759
Oh! Oh! Ohh!
71
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,873
Now you have learned
that the SS have very fine ways
72
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,992
to discover your inmost secrets.
73
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,430
Oh! Agh! Agh! Aagh!
74
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:04,192
Oh, I don't know where you get
your ideas from. I really don't!
75
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,029
Oh, you fair tire me out! Oh, dear!
76
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,832
- How about a nice cup of Ovaltine?
- Whisky.
77
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,600
Oh, naughty boy! I can't stand it.
78
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,839
Here, I saw your missus on telly tonight.
She's a terror, ain't she?
79
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,759
- Indeed she is.
- Bit rough putting her in prison!
80
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,954
No, I wouldn't say so.
No, not really. Just the place.
81
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,559
Naughty!
82
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,593
There you are, young man. About time!
83
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,270
Just a minute! This is a paper plate.
84
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,631
I want a proper one.
And a decent knife and fork.
85
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,837
And tell the Chief Constable I want to see him!
86
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:52,397
His name's Percy. He was at my wedding.
I think I've been in here long enough!
87
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,797
(PLAYS PIANO)
88
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,629
(BLOTT MIMICS DRUMS)
89
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,469
Isn't he marvellous?
He was on the telly tonight. Did you see him?
90
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,240
There he was fighting with the police!
91
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:14,476
He's got all sorts of skills most people
don't know about. He's foreign, isn't he?
92
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:18,036
- Yeah.
- He's a deep one, our Mr Blott.
93
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,073
Hello, Mrs Wynn! I like a beer.
94
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,909
One Handyman Very Special
because I am very special!
95
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,710
You'll have ordinary draught
like everyone else.
96
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,117
Handyman Special is for very special occasions.
97
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,510
I was just saying, you're a deep one.
98
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,790
Oh, yes? And what is a deep one?
99
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,992
Hidden depths. Hard to understand.
100
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,316
Never know what you're up to next.
101
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,956
Exactly, I am very simple. Nice person.
102
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:53,119
- I never thought I'd see you hit a bobby.
- Oh, well, for Lady Maud.
103
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:18,592
You don't have to go back to the Hall tonight.
He's in London, she's in prison.
104
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,189
Well, Mrs Wynn. Perhaps not.
105
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,031
Flossie can look after the bar.
Let's go upstairs now.
106
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,874
Flossie!
107
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,754
I can hardly believe it, Mr Blott.
Me with a TV personality!
108
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,358
You are lucky it's not Fozzie the Bear.
109
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:49,918
Yes, Prime Minister. I do recollect
that we were elected on a law and order policy.
110
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,633
Yeah.
111
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:57,392
Yes, I do agree with the Home Secretary, but
I prefer the word "disturbance" to the word "riot".
112
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,476
Very well, "riot". Yes, Prime Minister.
113
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,916
- Where's Dundridge?
- Outside. Here's his file. She's not pleased?
114
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,680
She's raging, Densher. Get him in!
115
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,156
Mr Dundridge, Minister.
116
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,269
You're late.
117
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,710
Oh, not late. Delayed, Minister.
118
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:37,916
I'm always delayed. I catch the right train.
It arrives at the wrong time. But why?
119
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,509
For goodness' sake, sit down!
120
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,154
Why?
121
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:49,592
Irregular halts at all the stations
through the system leading to back-up,
122
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,756
hence the need for my new system
123
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,794
of non-interruptive,
constant flow subway transportation.
124
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,956
What does that mean?
125
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,754
As the name implies, the trains do not stop.
126
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,150
- Really?
- No.
127
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,672
You jump on and off them
while they move onto slower-moving belts.
128
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,156
- This is the man you recommended?
- You said "someone different", Minister.
129
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,078
But this is the chap who brought in
the one-way system for central London!
130
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,669
Yes, that was mine, sir.
131
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:30,829
Traffic was locked solid for a week. We had
to feed people in their cars till we abolished it.
132
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,715
It went down well with the press.
You wanted someone like that.
133
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,071
That is because I talk to them
and explain my theories.
134
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,716
- Your theories?
- I am essentially an innovator.
135
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:46,675
I see my job as... bringing order to chaos.
136
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:53,190
- You've moved around a lot.
- Yes, that's most unfortunate.
137
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:58,349
That's why so few of my theories have been
implemented. I can't do anything constructive.
138
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:03,588
Yes, we're moving you again to motorways.
We're making you our troubleshooter.
139
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,075
Troubleshooter? Really?
140
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,157
In Worford.
141
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,069
Is that wise?
Hasn't there just been a nasty riot in Worford?
142
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,999
- Disturbance.
- Riot.
143
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,591
That's why you're going. To make sure
there are no more riots in Worford.
144
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:25,032
- I'm told it's a charming place.
- Didn't look charming last night on TV.
145
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:29,711
Your letter of appointment giving you
full powers to conduct negotiations.
146
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:34,596
All we ask is that you satisfy local opposition,
safeguard the environment
147
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,234
and get that motorway through without fuss.
148
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,399
- I thought Lord Leakham was responsible.
- He's a little indisposed.
149
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:47,550
Dying, probably. Only two routes. One through
Ottertown, the other through the Cleene Gorge.
150
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,911
The rioters are opposing
the Cleene Gorge route.
151
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,395
So I get it put through Ottertown?
152
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,388
No. You have a completely free hand, but no.
153
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,037
Out of the question. The sitting member,
Sir Francis Puckerington, is ill.
154
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,357
And he got in by only 45 votes
at the last election.
155
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,028
And it means pulverising 75 council houses.
156
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:14,270
So you must ensure that Lord Leakham,
should he survive, opts for the Cleene Gorge.
157
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,436
And if he refuses?
158
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,918
You have full negotiating powers
and our backing. Good luck, Dundridge.
159
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,076
Get off to Worford at once.
160
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,350
Well, if you're quite sure.
161
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,553
- Can I make one last phone call?
- Certainly.
162
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:36,038
It's a great challenge, you know.
And a great opportunity.
163
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,196
Yes, I know.
164
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,839
Doreen? J Dundridge here.
Can I have a car from Transport?
165
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,429
Yeah, a big one.
166
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,596
With a flag.
167
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,794
Yes, I've been promoted, Doreen.
I'm the Ministry troubleshooter.
168
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,913
Will you book me a room from tonight
in the best hotel in Worford?
169
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,315
The second best hotel in Worford.
170
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,154
(PHONE RINGS)
171
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,116
Hello? Here is Blott.
172
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,836
Oh, General!
173
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,879
They are liking to release her? I come at once.
174
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,749
Marvellous, isn't it?
They're letting her out. No case to answer.
175
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,236
- Isn't it exciting? We'll welcome her.
- Go along and cheer.
176
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,273
Mind if we ride with you?
The others will follow.
177
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,436
Please, be a guest!
178
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,435
A fine lady, Lady Maud, I think.
179
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,349
Real heroine.
More stuff in her than that arse of a husband!
180
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,999
You put up quite a show on TV last night.
181
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,954
- Wasn't he utterly marvellous?
- Just like Clint Eastwood.
182
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,035
That, er... karate chop!
183
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:13,555
Life's funny. I spent my days in Africa
cracking down on brother darkie for riots like that.
184
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,830
Now I'm on the other side.
185
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,996
I quite like it.
186
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,430
We must keep green our motherland soil.
187
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,596
My sentiments exactly.
188
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,797
You were never in the army, Blott, were you?
189
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,230
Don't know much about you.
190
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,716
Of course,
I have had some experiences of this kind.
191
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,354
I have played a part.
192
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,751
But you know how are these things, General.
193
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,315
These things are often very secret.
194
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,273
- I say, how exciting!
- Yes, isn't it wonderful?
195
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,519
Entirely understood, old chap.
I take it you were actually on our side?
196
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,234
- I say, look out!
- (BRAKES SCREECH)
197
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:05,719
Blithering idiot! Must be one of those foreigners.
They'll be everywhere if we get this motorway.
198
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,274
- Good God, it's you!
- We've got to talk.
199
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,311
- What about?
- That damn woman! Got a drink?
200
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,513
- Lady Maud?
- She goes and sets the cat among the pigeons!
201
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,076
- I bet she poisoned Leakham.
- Won't prison keep her quiet?
202
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,989
They've let her out!
The Chief Constable's a friend of hers.
203
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,316
She's giving TV interviews.
204
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,318
- I had a look.
- That won't make much impact.
205
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:46,196
She'll get every conservationist,
nature lover and loyal Brit on her side.
206
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,909
The thing is, she's upset Leakham so much,
he's bound to find for us.
207
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,315
If he stays in charge.
208
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,476
What do you mean?
209
00:17:55,680 --> 00:18:00,834
I just had the Minister on. They're sending up a
London bigwig to take charge of all negotiations.
210
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,271
The Minister won't stand for Ottertown.
It's a marginal.
211
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,870
If you were in this chap's shoes,
would you choose the gorge?
212
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:12,915
Quite, Hoskins, quite. This may require
a complete change of strategy. Leave it to me.
213
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:17,113
Better stay away from here.
This London chap will be using my office.
214
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:21,438
Bloody bigwig. That's all we need!
Find out everything you can about him.
215
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,152
Everything down to the size of his underpants!
216
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,796
He's got lovely hair.
217
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,470
It goes right down his back,
and really beautiful muscles.
218
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,830
I mean, his hands...
219
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,110
Sorry, love. Customer.
220
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,638
- Yes, sir?
- Mr J Dundridge. You have a room for me.
221
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,479
- A room?
- A room.
222
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,236
This is the Handyman Arms, a hotel?
223
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,718
We're full. Everyone wants to come to Worford,
now we've got riots.
224
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,037
- My secretary made a booking.
- They all say that.
225
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,636
What was the name?
226
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,550
Mr J Dundridge. I'm an important official
from the Ministry of the Environment.
227
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,876
Well, aren't we lucky, Mr Bundridge?
228
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,350
Dundridge.
229
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,198
It's in the machine as "Bundridge",
so it's "Mr Bundridge", Mr Dundridge.
230
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,232
Now, how many nights
would you like me to give you?
231
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,912
Oh...
232
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,237
Well, I shall be here for some time.
Can we leave it open?
233
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,079
Of course. There's our motto.
234
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,634
I'll put you in Cleene Whizzer.
235
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,354
Pardon?
236
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:13,190
The rooms are named after the late
Lord Handyman's racehorses. It's No.5, really.
237
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:19,430
Up these stairs one and a half flights,
left, right, left again and right. You can't miss it.
238
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,639
Can someone help me with my luggage?
239
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,796
Freda might.
240
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:38,030
Used to have a four-poster in it, but you know
newly-weds! They kicked off the posts!
241
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,312
Wedding nights aren't what they were, are they?
242
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,795
I know, I've had several!
243
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,150
You, get out of here!
244
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,955
Didn't do anything, did it?
245
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,754
They come off the church. Harmless, really.
246
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,275
Now, that's your basin, that's your wardrobe.
247
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,438
And the bed light's over there out the way.
248
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:08,199
(SIR GILES'S ACCENT) I have many important
business interests. Big matters are at stake.
249
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,029
On efficience depends the future of the nation.
250
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,913
Commerce today is a cutting-throat game.
251
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,873
The weakest must go to the walls.
252
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,316
Oh, Sir Giles!
253
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,076
Did you say anything?
254
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,636
I didn't say anything. Did you?
255
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:03,032
(WATER GURGLES IN PIPES)
256
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,359
There you are, Giles. I've been looking for you.
257
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,758
Maud, so they released you. How splendid!
What a wretched business!
258
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:32,511
- What are you up to, Giles?
- Nothing at all. Preserving Handyman Hall.
259
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,676
Well, I think my way was better.
260
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,510
We won't be hearing more from Leakham,
not when he gets my suit for wrongful arrest!
261
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,029
It's out of the hands of Leakham now.
262
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,074
- Why?
- The Ministry's sending a bigwig to take charge.
263
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,114
I suppose the next thing is
you'll be having lunch with HIM?
264
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:54,518
Well, I suppose I might be able to persuade him
to see the point of Ottertown.
265
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,909
Excuse me!
266
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,197
- Hello! Want somebody?
- Yes, the Planning Officer, Mr Hoskins.
267
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,995
- Who wants him?
- J Dundridge from the Environment Ministry.
268
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,350
Good God, the troubleshooter!
269
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,677
I'm Hoskins.
I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow.
270
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,111
The Minister was keen
that I start as quickly as possible.
271
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,154
Quite right. I'm having a quick one
at the Conservative Club. Join me?
272
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,316
- Well, I don't...
- Course you do.
273
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:08,317
No, I don't envy you your job, Mr Dundridge.
Not one bit. What do they expect you to do?
274
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,635
The Minister wants negotiations
to be handled very tactfully.
275
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:17,868
Ideally, he'd like the outcome to have
the consent of all the principal parties involved.
276
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,116
How do you mean to get that?
277
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,278
I've just been reading the file
in my dreadful hotel
278
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,870
and I think we need an alternative route.
279
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,799
- Ottertown?
- Politically out of the question.
280
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,595
An alternative route to the alternative route.
281
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,109
- To the south, perhaps?
- Slit and sludge.
282
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,799
Sludge... To the north?
283
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,913
Mining and subsidence.
Cleene Gorge is the only real route.
284
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,355
That's why this bit of the motorway
has been held up for so long.
285
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,074
Bill! Two more pints, if you wouldn't mind.
286
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,353
I...
287
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:01,670
I see. Then these protesters,
can we get them to drop their opposition?
288
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,997
I'll introduce you to some of them tomorrow.
You'll see.
289
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,110
- Offer them more compensation?
- No, they don't want money.
290
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:14,519
They've got "the British disease". Sink with
what you've got rather than swim with change.
291
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,280
They like things just as they are round here.
292
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,436
I can't think why.
293
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:24,839
Look, if I went to see Sir Giles Lynchwood,
General Burnett and Colonel Chapman
294
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,838
and tried to persuade them
to take more money...
295
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,794
Thanks, Bill.
Try if you like. They're not the problem anyway.
296
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,750
- Then who is?
- Never heard of Lady Maud?
297
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,710
Now, if you could get round her,
you'd be a marvel.
298
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,878
- Sounds very tricky.
- Then you've got Lord Leakham.
299
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,878
Seems pottier than ever
since they poleaxed him.
300
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,629
He blames her,
so whatever she agrees to, he won't accept.
301
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,636
- What are we going to do?
- You're the troubleshooter.
302
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,074
What about a game of billiards?
303
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:05,874
I think I'd better get back to my hotel
and plan strategy.
304
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,188
(WATER GURGLES IN PIPES)
305
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:49,680
(WOMAN) Oh, do it again, George.
306
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:54,158
Do it to me... like you did last time!
307
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,473
(CHURCH BELLS RING)
308
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,955
(GURGLING)
309
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,596
Oh, do it again, George!
310
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,598
Please, do it to me again!
311
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,511
Wakey-wakey! Lovely morning!
312
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,990
- Aagh!
- Did we sleep well?
313
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,317
- I didn't sleep at all.
- Here's your tea.
314
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:35,594
They didn't have that London "Times" you said,
so I brought the parish magazine.
315
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,836
Lord Leakham?
316
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,872
Sir?
317
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,033
Sir...
318
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,312
Who are you? Pass me my spectacles.
319
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,750
Mr J Dundridge.
320
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:31,114
The Minister of the Environment
has sent me down to negotiate a settlement...
321
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,036
...in the motorway dispute.
322
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,356
Really?
323
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,552
Well, I was appointed to head the inquiry.
324
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:46,515
I do not intend to relinquish responsibility
and you may so inform the Minister.
325
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,673
Yes, sir.
326
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,271
I've no intention of being deflected
by hooliganism or riots from doing my duty.
327
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,359
When the medics say
there's nothing wrong with me except poisoning,
328
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,313
I'll reopen the inquiry
and announce my decision.
329
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,239
Yes, sir. And, erm, what will that be?
330
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,877
I intend to recommend it goes
through the Cleene Gorge. Plum through it!
331
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:12,631
I intend to take that damned woman's house,
level it to the ground bit by bit!
332
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,753
- You mean Lady Lynchwood?
- She sent her idiot husband to poison me!
333
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,033
She interrupted the proceedings,
she insulted me, she incited a riot,
334
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,390
she made a mockery of the legal process.
335
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,034
She shall rue the day!
336
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,277
- I told you not to upset him!
- He says he was poisoned.
337
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,631
- That's concussion.
- The law shall not be mocked.
338
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,794
The law shall not be mocked!
339
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,755
(PHONE RINGS)
340
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,236
Hello, Handyman Hall?
341
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:11,719
Could I speak to Sir Giles Lynchwood? It's Mr J
Dundridge from the Ministry of the Environment.
342
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,792
Oh, yes?
343
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:19,268
I'm his secretary. Did you wish to see him?
344
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,790
He did say he'd be free at the Hall at 12.
345
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,639
Is that all right? Thank you.
346
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,109
Blott!
347
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,796
Secretary?
348
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,877
Blott! Giles is out all day today, isn't he?
349
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,719
- He makes his business, yes.
- Good.
350
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:52,630
The bigwig from the Ministry is coming.
I think we'll do something special.
351
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,038
I want flowers in the house.
I want to make a good impression on him.
352
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,876
(CAR HORN)
353
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,038
(MIMICS TRUMPETS, WHISTLES)
354
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,235
Hello there!
355
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,159
Ah, yes. Hello.
356
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:47,397
I'm J Dundridge from the Ministry
of the Environment. Sir Giles Lynchwood...
357
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,912
My husband? Did he?
I'm afraid he's a little delayed.
358
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,671
He's asked me to show you round the estate
and the house while you waited.
359
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,836
If you'd care to...
360
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,912
You know, Mr Dundridge, looking about you,
361
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:13,390
wouldn't you say that a garden like this
is England at her most... complete?
362
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:23,794
Oh!
363
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,956
Thank you, Mr Dundridge.
364
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,119
I say, you're quite a tower of strength!
365
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,516
Our hall.
366
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:48,713
I love it. One has to have a taste for the Gothic.
367
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,071
But I find discerning people nowadays
always do.
368
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,273
Quite.
369
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,513
You can understand my attachment.
370
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,278
My family have always lived hereabouts.
371
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:09,835
My grandmother was seduced
by King Edward VII, you know.
372
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,113
Ah!
373
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,829
He loved the house.
374
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,077
He quite liked my grandmother, too.
375
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:24,916
The portrait up there is Busby, Lord Handyman.
376
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,396
Always said to be the product of that union.
377
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,989
- Ah.
- My father.
378
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,395
Can you see the resemblance?
379
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,157
- My word!
- Come into the drawing room.
380
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:49,272
Sherry, sir? Fine on this side, "vet" on that.
381
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,434
Wet.
382
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,359
A nincompoop? Really?
383
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,950
A first-rate, Grade A, five-star nincompoop.
384
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:04,188
Can't always go by appearances. I've known
slippy customers who looked like utter dumbos.
385
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:08,109
This chap doesn't just look
like an utter dumbo. He really is one!
386
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:13,348
- Anyone could twist him round their little finger.
- Then why did the Minister send him?
387
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,994
Why do ministers do anything?
388
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,988
Just don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
That's what I say.
389
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,156
No, I suppose not.
390
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,479
Is this chicken? You don't think
he'd decide against the gorge, do you?
391
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:34,357
I doubt it. Leakham wouldn't listen if he did.
392
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,629
I'm taking him around later.
I'll introduce him to the problems.
393
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,070
Where is he now?
394
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,033
In some snack bar, I expect.
395
00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:47,789
Yes, I'm afraid Leakham was
the most dreadful failure.
396
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,920
Er, yes. Yes, he seems to have gone...
397
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,910
...right out of court.
398
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,634
How very well put!
399
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,115
In what way?
400
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,871
His mind. He thinks people have been
poisoning him. That sort of thing.
401
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,559
People?
402
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,516
Well, your husband.
403
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:18,679
What nonsense! Giles wouldn't.
404
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,952
Well, only if dreadfully provoked.
405
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,035
I wonder where Giles is.
406
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:27,196
(BLOTT) Out.
407
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,758
He seems to have been detained.
408
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,354
Would you like more sherry? I've brought it.
409
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:43,032
I think we'll take lunch, Blott.
You will stay to lunch, won't you, Mr Dundridge?
410
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:48,268
- I'd be honoured.
- Go to the cellar and find some really nice wine.
411
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,313
I think a little... Pouilly.
412
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,637
- Pouilly?
- And a really good Bordeaux.
413
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,957
I'm sure Giles would approve.
Find the best, Blott.
414
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,116
(BLOWS)
415
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,276
No, it has to be the best.
416
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,116
Non-constant, interruptive?
417
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:16,108
Non-interruptive, constant flow
subway transportation system.
418
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,276
Suppose the, uh...
419
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,677
Suppose the train moved along like that.
420
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,755
And the platform moved along...
421
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,396
...like that.
422
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,672
And people jumped from one to the other
423
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,758
and then onto a slower one still.
424
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,191
- And then almost...
- Blott!
425
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,917
The wine, I found some, OK?
426
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,428
How do you like it? Blanc or rouge?
427
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,668
- Claret for me, please.
- Hmm, claret?
428
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,235
The red one, Blott!
429
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:00,391
Do you have any ideas about motorways,
for example?
430
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,398
- Oddly enough, I do.
- You do?
431
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,592
- (CORK POPS)
- It's just come to me. It's only an idea.
432
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,756
It has no official standing.
433
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,076
Well, quite.
434
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,236
Lateral thinking.
435
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,749
You don't go through...
436
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,996
You go...
437
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,714
- Away?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
438
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,992
No, you see, lateral thinking.
You go underneath.
439
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,670
Underneath what?
440
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,996
Build a tunnel.
441
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,836
It's only an idea.
442
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,871
Brilliant!
443
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,593
Wonderful!
444
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,279
You...
445
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:44,356
...dear, dear man!
446
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,199
No wonder they call you an innovator!
447
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,675
- It would need a feasibility study.
- How long would that take?
448
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,314
- Six months, a year.
- Even better!
449
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,551
I've suddenly remembered an appointment
this afternoon. Get Mr Dundridge's hat.
450
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,716
Is here.
451
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,276
But I was to see Sir Giles.
452
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:10,315
Oh, I'm afraid he must have
forgotten you completely. But I shan't.
453
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,593
Goodbye, brilliant Mr Dundridge.
I hope we meet again.
454
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,756
So do I, Lady Maud.
455
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,229
So, that was the earwig from the Ministry?
456
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,149
Blott, tidy this up and get rid of the flowers
before Giles gets back!
457
00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:49,075
(HORN)
458
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,039
- What's going on, Blott?
- Gardening.
459
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,633
Maud!
460
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:32,390
Maud, where are you?
461
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,590
Has someone been here?
462
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,995
Well, yes.
463
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:44,079
I had a visit from such a charming young man.
464
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,078
A Mr Dundridge.
465
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:51,592
He wanted you
and I tried to entertain him as best I could.
466
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,758
He's been here with you?
What did he have to say?
467
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,032
Oh, various things, this and that...
468
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:03,435
He thought it was absurd
to take the motorway through the gorge.
469
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,676
So he's backing Ottertown?
470
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:10,351
No, Giles. Not the gorge. Not Ottertown.
471
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,473
- No?
- No. A third route.
472
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:19,196
- There's no other way through.
- He's not going through, he's going underneath.
473
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,834
- Underneath?
- A tunnel.
474
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,474
Isn't that a marvellous idea?
475
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,710
Oh, there you are. Had a good day?
476
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:36,549
- Excellent.
- Really? Got on all right with Leakham?
477
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,150
Ridiculous man.
He has an irrational hatred for Lady Maud.
478
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,750
- What's irrational about it?
- I've just had lunch with her.
479
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,997
- Delightful woman, utterly charming.
- Delightful?
480
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,156
- Charming.
- Rather vast!
481
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:51,554
Comely.
482
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,479
Bit like Mussolini.
Looks the same both ways up!
483
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,716
Mr Hoskins...
484
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,753
You are speaking of a wonderful person.
485
00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:03,999
And I believe we've solved
this whole motorway problem between us.
486
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,474
A tunnel? A bloody tunnel
under the Cleene Hills? The man's crazy!
487
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,395
Outrageous waste of taxpayers' money!
488
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,434
He's crazier than you think.
He fancies your missus.
489
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,596
What?
490
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,758
He thinks she's charming and delightful.
491
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,518
Maud?
492
00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:33,676
And comely.
493
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:39,034
No wonder she was looking like the cat that
swallowed the canary! We've got to stop him.
494
00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:41,879
Who's this "we"? It's your problem.
495
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,310
All right, Hoskins. How much?
496
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,715
It'll take 5,000.
497
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,230
- Good God, Hoskins! What is it?
- Exploit his weakness.
498
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,716
What is his weakness?
Money, drugs, drink, girls, boys?
499
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,754
It'd take too long to find out,
but we know he fancies your wife.
500
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:02,238
- That doesn't bloody help me. It helps her!
- A woman of the ampler kind.
501
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,954
Maud could play rugby, but how does that help?
502
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,958
An attractive woman of the ampler kind.
503
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,711
- Now, I've got some friends...
- I'm amazed. But we've got to work fast.
504
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:18,074
I'll go off to London, keep out of the way.
When you've fixed it up, call me. Usual number.
505
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,236
Usual code.
506
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,520
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
507
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,634
(PHONE RINGS)
508
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,511
- Yes?
- Who is it?
509
00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:49,029
Someone for you. A Mr Lollipop.
510
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:51,196
Oh, him?
511
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,476
Hello there. How are you?
512
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,638
I've got a job for you. Right up your street.
513
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:07,038
It's tonight and 2,000 in it for you
if you do it just right.
514
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,993
Really?
515
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,033
Swastikas tattooed on his bottom?
516
00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:14,196
He hadn't when I knew him.
517
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,069
- Oh, Mr Bundridge!
- Er, Dundridge.
518
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,475
- Someone to see you.
- Oh, Mr Hoskins!
519
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:25,993
It's Bob. Sorry to dash off like that, but I had
a couple of arrangements to make for our tour.
520
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,589
- Our tour?
- Didn't I explain?
521
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,749
I'm showing you around. I thought we'd look
at some of the villages on the motorway route.
522
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:39,193
Meet a few locals, then to the golf club to have
drinks with prominent figures from the inquiry.
523
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,153
- Not arranged something else?
- An early night.
524
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,399
No, no, duty calls.
Anyway, you mustn't appear hoity-toity.
525
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,751
Mind if we go in your car?
Mine's over at the office.
526
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:59,514
The Eagle and Standard, Duckford.
Handyman House.
527
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,353
(POSH ACCENT)
Ahoy there! I say, smashing evening!
528
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,231
Oh, look, some friends of mine. Let's join them.
529
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,396
All right.
530
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,920
Meet my good friend Mr Dundridge.
531
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,315
Hello there. Welcome aboard.
532
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,993
Do let me... I think she fancies you.
533
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,796
Not your type?
534
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,037
Oh, well, one drink and we'll move on.
535
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,797
The Five Barrels, Ottertown.
A Handyman House.
536
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:46,113
It was the Ten Barrels,
but things are tight everywhere, aren't they?
537
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,630
You can say that again!
538
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,355
Sit down. Brighten the evening.
Who's your friend?
539
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,715
I say, you really know how to pull the birds!
540
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:03,471
- The Four Feathers, Worford.
- I know, a Handyman House.
541
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:07,195
Just like the George at Carbonell,
the Bull at Buttermuck.
542
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:12,315
- And the Sprag End at Slaughterers' Arms.
- No, the Slaughterers' Arms at Sprag End.
543
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:14,750
Interesting crowd here. Bit horsey.
544
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,190
I say, who are you calling horsey?
545
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,790
Do you know what they say?
"Horsey, horsey, don't you stop."
546
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,753
Mine did. Went arse over tip at the third fence.
547
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,160
- Who's your chum?
- This is Mr Dundridge.
548
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,033
Hmm! Like the cut of your fetlock!
549
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,236
I feel rather tired.
550
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,796
We haven't finished yet.
Don't forget the golf club!
551
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:42,436
Come on.
552
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,477
This is Sir Francis Puckerington,
MP for Ottertown.
553
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:51,470
And General Burnett from Gilstead Carbonell.
This is Mr Dundridge from the Ministry.
554
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,956
Oh, yes, then you'll know
a good friend of mine, uh...
555
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:59,199
Uh... What's his name? Sorry, mind a blank.
556
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,472
- Military background, Dundridge?
- No, General.
557
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,878
- How did you get this job?
- Mr Dundridge is a hotshot Ministry negotiator.
558
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,197
I hope you have the sense
not to recommend Cleene Gorge.
559
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,436
The General's a leading protester.
560
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:16,235
I need hardly warn you
of the seriousness of picking Ottertown.
561
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:19,398
The Prime Minister... Oh, what's her name?
562
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,273
(MUTTERS) Sorry, mind's a blank.
563
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,914
Anyway, she's personally against it.
564
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,718
I told you you'd get a sample of local opinion.
565
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,753
Excuse me, I just need a breath of fresh air.
566
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,070
God, what a bunch of bores!
567
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,437
Oh, so sorry. I didn't see you standing there.
568
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,234
My name's Sally Boles. What's yours?
569
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,916
Dundridge.
570
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,835
John... Dundridge.
571
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,508
- You're not a golfer?
- No!
572
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:31,875
- Silly game.
- How amusing! Nor am I.
573
00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:36,676
Yes, yes?
574
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,956
Yes, yes!
575
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:44,517
I'm afraid Sir Giles is a bit tied up
at the moment. Can I take a message?
576
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,590
Yes... Yes.
577
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:49,713
Bye!
578
00:50:51,720 --> 00:50:53,676
Oh, dear.
579
00:50:56,760 --> 00:51:00,719
- Who was it?
- It was a Mr Lollipop. Silly name!
580
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:05,357
- He said, erm, "The fish is hooked."
- Marvellous!
581
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:09,269
I can't tell you how marvellous it is
to meet a kindred spirit here.
582
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,916
I can't wait to get back to London.
Isn't the country awful?
583
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,032
Terrible. No organisation.
584
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:21,837
All these endless trees everywhere. People
keep making such a fuss about... everywhere.
585
00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:24,790
Beastly, dark churches.
586
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,197
They say it's quiet.
I've never been anywhere so noisy!
587
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:31,996
Do try that.
588
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,917
Do you know what you are... Miss Boles?
589
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,076
Oh, Sally, please.
590
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,759
Sally.
591
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:49,919
A truly metropolitan woman!
592
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,076
That is what you are.
593
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:54,396
Tell me...
594
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,876
Sally... Miss Boles...
595
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,157
Sally... what do you do?
596
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,911
- I work in beauty.
- Like the night. How appropriate!
597
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,475
I'm a beauty consultant in Chelsea.
598
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:11,557
Chelsea? Chelsea?
599
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,714
Chelsea? Really?
600
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,395
- You live that way?
- More or less.
601
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,311
I think we ought to meet again. I really do.
602
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,956
Let's have another drink.
603
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,237
- What do you call it?
- A Harlem Bogtrotter or something.
604
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:37,399
- Never thought I'd teach the barman to make it.
- It's bloody good!
605
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,717
Oh, thank God it's not bloody Handyman Ale!
606
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,189
Let's go. Do you have a car?
607
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,994
(MAKES DEEP THROATY SOUNDS)
608
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,953
Yes, Sally. I've got a car.
609
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,315
A car with a flag on it.
610
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,278
- You've made my evening.
- And you've made mine.
611
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,794
I want to see more of you.
612
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:12,231
More and more and more of you!
613
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,396
You will, my pet.
614
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,156
You will.
51072
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.