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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 2 00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:10,592 hi. 3 00:00:12,822 --> 00:00:13,846 Hello. 4 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,606 There you are. 5 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,441 What is the deal? Where is she? 6 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,667 Hair and makeup are doing finals. 7 00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:21,336 She'll be out any minute. 8 00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:24,063 Cue cards? Really? She has three lines to remember. 9 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,366 Yeah, but with copy this good, she wants to make sure 10 00:00:26,368 --> 00:00:28,026 To really nail it. I'm sorry. 11 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,270 When the agency wanted that guy who ate all those hot dogs, 12 00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:33,681 It was me who fought for bella because I'm old enough 13 00:00:33,759 --> 00:00:35,533 To remember when she was a big deal. 14 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:39,020 And I thought you were just fresh out of film school. 15 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,614 okay, listen, 16 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:43,625 Bella is incredibly humbled that you chose her to represent, 17 00:00:43,702 --> 00:00:47,470 Um... Oma wender's christmas soda. 18 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,622 No. 19 00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:50,440 - That sounds delicious-- - no, darling. 20 00:00:50,475 --> 00:00:54,127 You are not going to make me wear this santa hat. 21 00:00:54,204 --> 00:00:55,796 I didn't spend an hour in the chair, 22 00:00:55,831 --> 00:00:57,705 So that I could look like someone who just waltzed 23 00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,983 Out of deep discount depot. 24 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,603 No, no. You look... Fabulous. 25 00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:05,689 All right, let's get final touches in here. 26 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,559 Okay, let's hurry up. 27 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,844 Okay, thank you. 28 00:01:10,921 --> 00:01:13,864 Thank you, that's good. Thank you. Excellent. 29 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,918 Gorgeous! 30 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:21,789 Okay, I think we're ready to go. Ready, bella? Action! 31 00:01:21,824 --> 00:01:25,584 Hello, I'm comedienne bella deldomino, 32 00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:27,627 Here to share 33 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,405 My favorite holiday treat 34 00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:34,818 From ardenville's historic craft soda makers, 35 00:01:34,853 --> 00:01:37,846 Oma wenders. 36 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,435 ) oh! 37 00:01:43,512 --> 00:01:45,178 Yes! Um... 38 00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:47,355 Just like christmas. 39 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,590 Um, cut. 40 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,441 Can we take five? Aubri! 41 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,443 Can we just take five? Five. 42 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,761 Take five. 43 00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:56,014 hi. Okay. You good? 44 00:01:56,091 --> 00:01:59,601 Let me tell you... When my taste buds grow back. 45 00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:01,119 Well, if you get it in the next take, 46 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,545 You won't have to drink anymore. 47 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,997 I can't do it. 48 00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:06,883 What do you mean you can't? 49 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,460 - I'm sober now. - It's not alcoholic. 50 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,838 You're joking. 51 00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:12,506 Uh... What do you propose we do? 52 00:02:12,541 --> 00:02:15,759 Fill it up with paint thinner; it'd go down a lot easier. 53 00:02:15,794 --> 00:02:17,302 Ladies? 54 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,312 Just one second, please. 55 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,548 Okay, I can go grab a bucket, and then you can take a sip, 56 00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,384 And then you can spit it right out, and then they can-- 57 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,461 They can cut to a shot of a bottle or something. 58 00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:28,129 - Can you handle that? - Okay. 59 00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:31,308 But don't you ever say that I never did anything for you. 60 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,468 Well, we don't have all day to go over everything 61 00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:35,562 That is wrong about the sentence you just said. 62 00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:37,047 I'd love to listen to you, darling, 63 00:02:37,082 --> 00:02:40,050 But I'm kind of trapped in that moment. 64 00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:42,827 Okay, I, uh, will go speak to the director. 65 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,222 oh! 66 00:02:45,257 --> 00:02:46,556 - Uh... - Oh! 67 00:02:46,591 --> 00:02:49,376 The thing is, when bella was six years old, 68 00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:53,747 The color green was very triggering for her. 69 00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:56,666 Oh, darlings, thank you so much. 70 00:02:56,701 --> 00:03:00,270 You were all so wonderful to work with. Oh! 71 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:04,074 Now, if you ever need tickets to the comedy club, 72 00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:08,169 Just reach out to aubri, day or night. 73 00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:10,447 Day, please, thank you. 74 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,523 Okay, we need to get downtown asap, okay? 75 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,901 What for? 76 00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:16,678 For the interview. I sent you the questions last night. 77 00:03:16,755 --> 00:03:18,238 Did you pick your favorite christmas memory? 78 00:03:18,273 --> 00:03:21,441 I can't because the really good ones I can't remember, 79 00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:24,519 And the other ones, I'd be breaking an nda to share them. 80 00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:26,537 What am I gonna say? 81 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,466 Bella, you pay me to write your jokes, not your life story. 82 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,935 What about when you were writing my autobiography? 83 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,544 There must be something there. 84 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,805 We didn't get past the chapter on pre-nups. 85 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,107 Oh... 86 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,033 Okay. You said last christmas was your favorite ever. 87 00:03:39,144 --> 00:03:41,111 Why don't we work off of something like that? 88 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,314 It was great. My set just killed; 89 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,283 I booked two late-night gigs out of that. 90 00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:49,319 I just want to be more relatable, you know? 91 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,288 I don't want to be all show business-y. 92 00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:53,106 I want to be more ordinary, 93 00:03:53,141 --> 00:03:55,375 You know, like you or one of them. 94 00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:57,135 Okay, uh... 95 00:03:57,212 --> 00:03:59,229 Okay, when I was a kid, growing up, 96 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,555 All my cousins, aunts and uncles, 97 00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,056 They would stay over on christmas eve 98 00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:03,891 So we could open the gifts together in the morning, 99 00:04:03,969 --> 00:04:06,636 And, oh, this, this was my time to shine-- 100 00:04:06,671 --> 00:04:08,121 Aubri, if you're trying to convince me 101 00:04:08,156 --> 00:04:09,639 To never have children, 102 00:04:09,674 --> 00:04:12,826 Darling, that ship has sailed. 103 00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:14,677 But mom actually would stop me 104 00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:17,922 At 8 p.M. To honor santa's favorite song, "silent night", 105 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,132 Because she said that santa 106 00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,409 Actually wouldn't fill my stockings 107 00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:24,838 If I played the part of tiny tim after sundown, 108 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:26,581 And you know, when I think about it now, 109 00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,024 Actually, I think she was-- 110 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,977 And you know santa was right, darling. 111 00:04:30,012 --> 00:04:31,311 Shh! 112 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:34,147 I'm almost dizzy from listening to you. 113 00:04:34,182 --> 00:04:38,609 Now, make that a whole lot shorter and a whole lot funnier. 114 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,204 We've got an interview on our hands. 115 00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:44,457 I-I was, uh, being vulnerable, but... 116 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:48,227 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got the door. Here. 117 00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:50,330 Aubri? 118 00:04:54,486 --> 00:04:57,212 I really hope those deliveries get here today. 119 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,198 All these people performed here? 120 00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:03,643 Yep, it actually used to be a speakeasy back in the '20s, 121 00:05:03,645 --> 00:05:07,138 Before becoming a hot spot for comedians. 122 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,716 Mike baxter? I love his movies. 123 00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:11,292 Oh, the old ones, 124 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:13,186 Before he started playing addicts and fathers. 125 00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:14,804 What? No, I love those. 126 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,624 His comedy is, I don't know, a little bit too juvenile for me. 127 00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:19,325 Well, that's his early stuff, 128 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,227 Right after Saturday sketch club. 129 00:05:21,262 --> 00:05:24,071 With all these people here, 130 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,815 How could you not sell out the christmas variety show? 131 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,751 Because none of these people ever came back to the club. 132 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,420 No, no, they work on their material 133 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,738 On our small suburban stage, 134 00:05:31,773 --> 00:05:35,125 And then they ride off into the sunset. 135 00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:37,927 So, who do you have booked so far? 136 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,463 We've got a couple of local bands, ooh, 137 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,490 And a mark twain impersonator. 138 00:05:42,568 --> 00:05:44,734 Although, he says he only does late twain. 139 00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:45,993 It's not my fault. 140 00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:48,388 Everybody is booked for the holidays. 141 00:05:48,423 --> 00:05:50,790 Hey, cuz, what happens if you don't sell it out? 142 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,108 Well, let's see... 143 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,027 I lose my job, hopes and dreams dashed, 144 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,112 Five of the best years of my life wasted. 145 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,022 Oh, and I get to move back in with my mom. 146 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,191 So, there's that. 147 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:00,542 Oh, yikes. 148 00:06:00,619 --> 00:06:02,152 The club's not that big. 149 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,653 How hard could it be to sell it out? 150 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,029 On christmas eve? 151 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,424 The one night where people actually prefer 152 00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,209 To stay home with their families? 153 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,768 - It's not gonna be easy. - Yeah. 154 00:06:10,846 --> 00:06:12,854 Guess santa is the only one you ever hear about 155 00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,547 Leaving his home on christmas eve, huh? 156 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,935 - You think I'm doomed? - Nah. 157 00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:20,395 I will start by putting this on the platform. 158 00:06:20,472 --> 00:06:21,796 Oh, actually, 159 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,573 Do you mind signing for the deliveries, 160 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,859 And then I will manage to get this guy up there. 161 00:06:25,894 --> 00:06:26,951 Yeah. 162 00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:28,528 Okay. 163 00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:31,364 Oh! You're heavy. Okay. 164 00:06:31,399 --> 00:06:32,933 All right. 165 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:43,276 Two steps left. Ehh... 166 00:06:43,311 --> 00:06:45,803 My right, actually. Spin! 167 00:06:45,881 --> 00:06:48,089 Big spin! Excellent form. 168 00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:50,150 Will you two be performing at the open mic on Thursday? 169 00:06:50,185 --> 00:06:51,493 Well, he's a little shy 170 00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:55,163 Because, last time, he melted in front of... 171 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,709 Uh, mike... Baxter. What are-- 172 00:06:59,744 --> 00:07:01,511 what are you doing here? 173 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,980 Uh, just seeing if I have a future in choreography. 174 00:07:03,982 --> 00:07:05,114 Hi, mike. 175 00:07:05,267 --> 00:07:07,417 - Hi. What's your name? - Uh, aubri wilson. 176 00:07:07,452 --> 00:07:08,635 - Hi. - Sorry, I didn't... 177 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,003 Just I didn't hear about your... 178 00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:12,639 No, I'm sorry for the frosty dance. 179 00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:15,266 I, uh... I just thought I'd stop by. 180 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,584 This is where I got my big break. 181 00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:17,827 I saw that the-- 182 00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:19,696 Mike baxter? Is that you, mike baxter? 183 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,357 Shouldn't you be out losing millions of dollars 184 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,759 For a studio somewhere? 185 00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:27,011 Bella deldomino. 186 00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:29,263 They told me to take the season off. 187 00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,657 Something about chapter 11. I don't know. 188 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,101 But what brought you back here from the mount? 189 00:07:34,179 --> 00:07:36,045 Oh, you know, christmas is a time for charity, 190 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,215 So I started thinking, "who do I know that needs help the most?" 191 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,625 And immediately, you came to mind. 192 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,687 Oh, still as sweet as ever. 193 00:07:43,722 --> 00:07:46,297 Tell me, how does a guy get stage time these days, huh? 194 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,716 Oh, come on, mike. You're a big hollywood star. 195 00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:50,210 You don't need to be doing stand-up. 196 00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:51,786 Well, it sounds like my agent already got to you. 197 00:07:51,863 --> 00:07:54,305 Well, I'm up for this big action movie, 198 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,892 A superhero thing called rooster man. 199 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,469 It's a working title. 200 00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:02,022 A-ha! Will the special effects people, 201 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:04,891 Will they be able to finally make you funny? 202 00:08:04,968 --> 00:08:08,111 Or will they just have you shooting laser beams? 203 00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:09,487 Well, he's a superhero 204 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,305 With a sense of humor, 205 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:14,584 So I thought I'd try to remind hollywood and you, apparently, 206 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,085 That I'm still hilarious. 207 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,812 Absolutely. Well, you know, this is not 208 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:20,089 Our busiest time of the year, darling, as you know. 209 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,482 But maybe it will be with you here. 210 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,162 I mean, you're welcome to step on that stage any time, sir. 211 00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:28,331 Well, I really appreciate that. 212 00:08:28,366 --> 00:08:30,767 The competition looks fierce. 213 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,254 I hear she has a line on a fantastic dancing snowman act. 214 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,406 Yes, if he can get over his nerves, 215 00:08:36,441 --> 00:08:38,265 We might really have something. 216 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,209 You guys are trying to make a joke about me. 217 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,778 I don't think it's funny. 218 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,230 Bella, if I was making a joke about you, 219 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,081 I definitely would have mentioned your jewelry. 220 00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:46,266 How does your neck stay up? 221 00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:47,917 Do you have a chiropractor on call? 222 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,435 Mikey, mikey, 223 00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:53,122 You're reminding me, giving me flashbacks 224 00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:56,117 Of that day you left for california. Oh! 225 00:08:56,194 --> 00:08:57,193 I was so happy that day. 226 00:08:57,228 --> 00:08:58,444 All right, I gotta go. 227 00:08:58,479 --> 00:09:00,038 Nice to meet you, aubri. 228 00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:01,931 It is so nice to see you. 229 00:09:01,966 --> 00:09:05,301 Hi. What the-- 230 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,719 Howdy. 231 00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,805 That was mike baxter. 232 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,623 Oh, yeah. You missed me a lot. 233 00:09:10,658 --> 00:09:11,991 How does he know your name? 234 00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:14,060 You are getting the deliveries next time. 235 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,045 Thank you so much for having us. 236 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,349 Drxl is our favorite station. 237 00:09:20,819 --> 00:09:23,119 Hey, I brought you some coffee. 238 00:09:23,154 --> 00:09:25,105 Oh, you're a lifesaver. Just in time. 239 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:28,308 Oh, they're starting. 240 00:09:28,343 --> 00:09:29,793 Good evening. I'm robert busby, 241 00:09:29,828 --> 00:09:31,778 And we're kicking off ardenville's christmas fest 242 00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:33,780 With our hometown funny lady, 243 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,782 Bella deldomino, the star and owner 244 00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:37,058 Of the legendary comedy club. 245 00:09:37,135 --> 00:09:39,485 You know, it's a christmas is a special 246 00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:41,705 Time of the year for us at the comedy club. 247 00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:44,724 We are laughing all the way, and we truly believe 248 00:09:44,759 --> 00:09:48,761 Celebrating can be made so much better with a two-drink minimum. 249 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,664 Remember when I used to interview you in our treehouse, 250 00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:54,767 Back when you were going to be the world's biggest movie star? 251 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,971 Well, mom said, "acting is a hard knock life. 252 00:09:58,081 --> 00:09:59,739 "everybody wants to be in the movies. 253 00:09:59,774 --> 00:10:01,474 "get a real job, kid." so, I did. 254 00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:03,827 My real job is a joke-writer 255 00:10:03,862 --> 00:10:05,778 For a woman who texts with her pointer finger. 256 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,613 Oh, don't sell yourself short. 257 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,482 You're also her personal assistant. 258 00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:11,017 Thanks. 259 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,652 So, I couldn't help but notice 260 00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:14,988 You've decorated every inch of the club in string lights, 261 00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:18,374 While your own home looks like a troll cave. 262 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,142 Okay, well, the comedy club is my home, 263 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:24,280 And, well, being on the road with the comedienne herself, 264 00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:27,617 Oh, perfect. Then, I can have your apartment. 265 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,285 Consider it your christmas gift to me. 266 00:10:29,438 --> 00:10:30,736 Actually, if I remember correctly, 267 00:10:30,814 --> 00:10:32,538 My christmas present was getting you this job. 268 00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:34,298 And you should pay attention 269 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,825 Because you could learn a lot from bella. 270 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,451 I'm learning a lot more from you. 271 00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:41,364 Now, she might be the face, but you're the talent. 272 00:10:41,399 --> 00:10:44,550 No, I can't do what bella does. 273 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:47,586 - I'm way too shy for that now. - You can handle it. 274 00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:49,873 No. The comedy club has a legacy. 275 00:10:49,908 --> 00:10:51,891 Okay, bella saved it from a bulldozer. 276 00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,902 Do you know how many legends have performed there? 277 00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:58,247 It's launched, I don't know, a thousand careers, 278 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,083 And that woman, she did that. 279 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,802 And I saw this as an opportunity 280 00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:04,228 To dance and sing 281 00:11:04,306 --> 00:11:07,915 And say jokes that I'd learned off the tv. 282 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,316 What about your career? 283 00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:12,437 Haven't you ever considered getting out on that stage? 284 00:11:12,514 --> 00:11:16,282 I love writing, I do, and bella promised to introduce me 285 00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:18,492 To some of her literary agent friends. 286 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,086 So, I will get to a writer's room. 287 00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:22,847 There's a ladder to climb. 288 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,357 It's been five years. 289 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,167 Maybe start looking for an elevator? 290 00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:28,495 Tell us, what's your favorite christmas memory? 291 00:11:28,497 --> 00:11:30,397 Well, oddly enough, robert, 292 00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:32,448 It's also the beginning of my comedy career. 293 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,842 I still remember to this day, 294 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,587 Just like it was yesterday, when I got my first laugh. 295 00:11:37,622 --> 00:11:39,255 It was my mother. 296 00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,681 Of course, it would have been a whole lot better 297 00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:42,099 If it hadn't been mom. 298 00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:44,661 At least she gave your story a happy ending. 299 00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,437 I did that. 300 00:11:46,515 --> 00:11:49,456 Yeah. One of the perks of being a writer is that 301 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:53,135 You never need therapy if you can just change the ending. 302 00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:55,629 Now, we're happy to hear that the comedy club is partnering 303 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,258 With oma wenders to not only sponsor ardenville's 304 00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,760 Christmas fest, but to bring back the variety show. 305 00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,462 It's been a while since the comedy club hosted. 306 00:12:02,538 --> 00:12:03,880 Yes, it has. 307 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:06,115 Eight years since you've hosted. 308 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:08,726 She's looking at me, isn't she? 309 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,802 Yes, yes. Yes, it has. 310 00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:12,522 Who will be performing at the big show? 311 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,483 Um, well... 312 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,552 Christmas is full of surprises, isn't it? 313 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,064 So, I don't want to say too much too soon. 314 00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:22,890 very true. 315 00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:24,817 Well, christmas is still three weeks away, 316 00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:26,911 So we're going to be following up with you. But until then, 317 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,839 We hope to see you at all the holiday events around town. 318 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:30,957 Oh, I hope so, too. 319 00:12:30,992 --> 00:12:32,792 Was that good for you? 320 00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:34,510 You didn't tell her about the variety show. 321 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,603 Nope. 322 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,146 And you thought that was a good idea? 323 00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:40,049 At the time, yes. Not so much anymore, no. 324 00:12:45,614 --> 00:12:48,908 The comedy club is sponsoring the christmas fest 325 00:12:48,943 --> 00:12:50,601 And the christmas variety show? 326 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,938 You know why we had to nix that years ago, don't you? 327 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,441 Because nobody wants to leave their house on christmas eve, 328 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,194 And we would have to sell out the entire show 329 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,938 Just to break even. 330 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,347 Yeah, but the show, 331 00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:05,374 The show was legendary; it launched so many careers. 332 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,535 And all those network execs and studio heads, 333 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,047 I mean, they all used to celebrate christmas at the club. 334 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,832 That was back in the day of covered wagons, 335 00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:15,551 When there were only three tv networks. 336 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,670 Well, you finally agreed to sponsor the christmas fest, 337 00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:21,674 I just-- I assumed that the variety show was part of it. 338 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:24,310 The city is so excited, bella. 339 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,995 This is a christmas tragedy. 340 00:13:26,147 --> 00:13:28,014 I don't have to go to any of those events, 341 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:30,683 Just because I'm sponsoring them, do I? 342 00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:33,886 Well, you are a beloved local celebrity. 343 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:36,722 - I'm sure you're gonna have-- - local, aubri? 344 00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:39,500 I think I have a little more range than local, aubri. 345 00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:40,668 Of course. 346 00:13:40,745 --> 00:13:42,662 So, just cancel it. 347 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,214 Bella, the comedy club has to show up to some key event, 348 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,999 And we also have to donate 349 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,902 The proceeds of the variety show to a charity. 350 00:13:49,904 --> 00:13:52,421 - What charity? - Children's hospital. 351 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:56,650 The one charity I can't back out of. 352 00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:59,920 Okay, we can invite industry bigwigs. 353 00:13:59,998 --> 00:14:03,349 Maybe even your agent literary friends, 354 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,102 You know, the ones that you promised to introduce me to. 355 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,928 It'll be great. 356 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,764 The variety show almost destroyed my career 357 00:14:09,841 --> 00:14:11,724 And brought the comedy club down. 358 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,100 What happened? 359 00:14:13,211 --> 00:14:14,276 I remember the first christmas, 360 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,246 I was so excited to be part of it, 361 00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:21,692 But I had no idea then how difficult it was to sell out 362 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,444 A show on christmas eve. 363 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,179 Yeah, but we can send out industry invitations today. 364 00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:27,757 We can publicize it on our social media. 365 00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:31,260 We can tell everybody and it's gonna be great. 366 00:14:31,295 --> 00:14:34,630 Industry big wigs do not laugh. 367 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,283 And the few local people who showed up, 368 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,943 They couldn't carry the show. 369 00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:41,545 There wasn't enough of them. 370 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,189 Oh, I totally bombed. 371 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,366 I can't tell you how many gigs I missed 372 00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:48,428 Because of that christmas variety concert, 373 00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:52,064 And I've been trying to crawl my way back ever since. 374 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,451 Yeah, you're right. 375 00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:58,395 This is on me and I will fix it. 376 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,272 - I'll think of something. - Good. 377 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,901 - Chop, chop. - Yeah. 378 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,982 They published another list 379 00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:11,742 Of all the young actresses you've dated? 380 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,319 Do you know how often I have to convince people 381 00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:14,971 That my brother's not a creep? 382 00:15:15,006 --> 00:15:17,748 Are the influencers on that list too or just the actresses. 383 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,827 Look, I've never even met half the women on this list, okay? 384 00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,512 Except for margot. 385 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:28,075 I'm kidding. I have moved on from all that. 386 00:15:28,186 --> 00:15:30,252 Okay? Enough professional faceplants 387 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,555 And your priorities start to change. 388 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,140 Yeah, well, your career will bounce back. 389 00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:35,508 Don't be so hard on yourself. 390 00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:39,269 Those movies were pretentious, exploitative, 391 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,313 Never-ending. 392 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,348 - Oh! - But don't get me wrong, 393 00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:43,866 You really great in them. 394 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,070 Oh, thank you. That's really sweet of you. 395 00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:55,294 And two eggnogs and two cinnamon rolls, please. 396 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,746 Thank you so much. 397 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,281 I gotta go. Text me when you're done shopping. 398 00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:00,375 Yeah. 399 00:16:10,878 --> 00:16:13,045 - Good morning. - Morning. 400 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,463 I saw you while I was in line 401 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,616 And thought you might need some eggnog. 402 00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:18,534 Don't worry; it's not alcoholic. 403 00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:19,960 Although, I did see a few people 404 00:16:20,038 --> 00:16:21,887 Throw caution to the wind at 9 a.M. On a Tuesday. 405 00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,372 No, thank you. 406 00:16:23,407 --> 00:16:25,407 I've already had my cup of heavy cream this morning. 407 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,885 Were you always this prickly or did bella drain 408 00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:29,653 All the christmas spirit from you? 409 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,714 Okay, now, you've put me in a position where I'm some grinch, 410 00:16:31,749 --> 00:16:33,032 Just because I don't want your eggnog. 411 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,035 As her heart shrunk two full sizes. 412 00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:39,622 For christmas. And so, you'll leave me alone. 413 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,003 What's in there? 414 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,081 Oh, nothing. Just... 415 00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:52,509 Thoughts, ideas, jokes. 416 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,828 You're a comic? You seem so well-adjusted. 417 00:16:54,906 --> 00:16:56,255 A writer for bella. 418 00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:59,183 And you never wanted to get on stage yourself? 419 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,351 Once upon a time. 420 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,519 And then, what happened? 421 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,013 Someone threw a tomato too hard once? 422 00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:06,023 My words are much better coming out of bella's mouth. 423 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,251 Well, as someone who has spent years 424 00:17:08,286 --> 00:17:09,569 Saying someone else's words, 425 00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,904 I am thrilled to speak for myself again. 426 00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:14,623 You don't enjoy movies. 427 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,925 Bella would kill for your career. 428 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,410 She would commit battery for a callback. 429 00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:20,555 The money's okay, but what I'm really in it for 430 00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:22,689 Is the constant public scrutiny. 431 00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,191 That's why I love a comedy club. 432 00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,085 The scrutiny is much more intimate. 433 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,529 Yeah, well, forgive me if I don't shed a tear 434 00:17:28,606 --> 00:17:31,841 For the successful actor up for an action-hero film. 435 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,785 If you tell me what's in your notebook, 436 00:17:34,863 --> 00:17:38,539 I'll try to forgive you. 437 00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:41,125 Well, the tree lighting ceremony is tonight. 438 00:17:41,202 --> 00:17:44,328 There are christmas jokes, just to kick off the festivities. 439 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:48,332 Oh, great! This is great! Let's-- let's hear one. 440 00:17:48,409 --> 00:17:49,716 No! 441 00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:50,826 Yes! 442 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,361 No, you're-- you're mike baxter. 443 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,130 I could never read them to you. 444 00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:57,074 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 445 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,001 Don't think of me as mike baxter, the comic. 446 00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:01,470 Think of me as the guy who's sitting next to you 447 00:18:01,505 --> 00:18:03,790 And desperately loves jokes. 448 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:05,958 Very persuasive. 449 00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:07,584 Okay. 450 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,495 I have this bit about how my mother 451 00:18:09,572 --> 00:18:11,497 Is impossible to buy presents for. 452 00:18:11,574 --> 00:18:14,516 So, this year, I actually asked her to tell me what she wants. 453 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,110 And then, what she wants, I can't seem to find anywhere. 454 00:18:16,187 --> 00:18:19,505 And well, the punchline is 455 00:18:19,507 --> 00:18:21,157 That what she wants most is for me 456 00:18:21,192 --> 00:18:23,083 To find better health insurance. 457 00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:25,752 - That's good. - Yeah? 458 00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:28,831 That's good. What if you somehow got hurt 459 00:18:28,866 --> 00:18:31,033 While you're searching for it? 460 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,069 - Like sprained my ankle. - Yeah. 461 00:18:33,104 --> 00:18:34,520 At least you think you did. 462 00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,522 You're too worried to go to the doctor to find out. 463 00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:37,824 Are you sure 464 00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,175 You want to be an action hero 465 00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:40,876 Because comedy suits you pretty well. 466 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,620 Well, the rooster man is funny. 467 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,214 - He's funny. - The rooster man... 468 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,750 See? You've just heard the name and you're already laughing. 469 00:18:51,806 --> 00:18:53,489 Oh! Oh, it's bella. I better go. 470 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,708 Right now? What? Is the club on fire? 471 00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:57,951 Uh, no. The comedy club's closed. 472 00:18:58,029 --> 00:19:01,714 That right there is the star of the town tonight. 473 00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:03,415 Oh, this is why I love christmas; 474 00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:05,701 People coming together just to watch a switch get flipped. 475 00:19:05,736 --> 00:19:06,886 Yeah, it's beautiful. 476 00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:08,812 I'll be there, front row. 477 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,797 Back row? What? 478 00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:14,301 Uh, I just-- I don't want bella to get upstaged. 479 00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:16,779 I will be incognito, I promise. 480 00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:18,381 - Like the rooster man. - Hmm. 481 00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:20,082 I don't actually know what his deal is. 482 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:24,161 Is he the one with the laser thingies or is he invisible? 483 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,421 Well, he's a rooster. 484 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,039 So, he has razor-sharp talons 485 00:19:27,074 --> 00:19:28,908 And he can more, like, glide short distances. 486 00:19:28,984 --> 00:19:30,901 Don't forget, he's funny. 487 00:19:30,979 --> 00:19:32,628 He is a grown man with talons, so... 488 00:19:32,663 --> 00:19:33,820 Hilarious. 489 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:35,714 Oh, you forgot your, uh... 490 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,108 Eggnog. 491 00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,601 I'll see you tonight. 492 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,013 Hey, maybe you will, maybe you won't. 493 00:19:44,575 --> 00:19:47,009 Good news: 494 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:50,246 We just secured an improv group for the talent show. 495 00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:51,630 Amazing. Second city? 496 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,940 Cook county technical institute. 497 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,335 But the good news is they said they'd work for drinks. 498 00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:58,354 That puts us at four acts only, 499 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,347 And we still need a headliner. 500 00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:02,207 Bella, right? 501 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,360 No, she said she would rather apologize to second husband 502 00:20:04,395 --> 00:20:06,036 Than go up during the variety show. 503 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,446 What about mike baxter? 504 00:20:07,523 --> 00:20:10,023 Ian, he's an award-nominated actor. 505 00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:12,818 I mean, there were golden universe awards or whatever, 506 00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:15,404 But no, he's not doing our show. 507 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,780 Okay, I want you guys to tell me the truth. 508 00:20:16,858 --> 00:20:20,909 Is this too "santa baby"? 509 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:22,811 Eartha kitt wishes. 510 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,697 Oh... Aubri, who's your friend? 511 00:20:24,699 --> 00:20:27,183 This is ian, my cousin. 512 00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:28,701 You hired him a month ago. 513 00:20:28,736 --> 00:20:32,938 Oh, and I would hire him again in a heartbeat. 514 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,824 You look ravishing, as always. 515 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,444 But I think that outfit might be a bit too much for tonight. 516 00:20:38,479 --> 00:20:41,071 It's pretty cold outside. It's going to be freezing. 517 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,231 What are you talking about? 518 00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:45,092 The gala is at the police museum. 519 00:20:45,169 --> 00:20:46,226 No, no, no. No. 520 00:20:46,304 --> 00:20:48,895 You are intro-ing the tree lighting tonight. 521 00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:50,580 I sent you the jokes yesterday. 522 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,309 I thought that was just banter for the italian beef hour 523 00:20:53,344 --> 00:20:54,751 At the gala. 524 00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,587 Besides, it's not like I didn't tell you. 525 00:20:56,589 --> 00:21:01,091 The christmas fest is a really big deal, bella. 526 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,236 If you saw the names of the people on that list, aubri, 527 00:21:04,271 --> 00:21:06,005 You wouldn't be making such a fuss. 528 00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:08,790 It's just a lot of people are relying on you to be there. 529 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,352 And I'm relying on myself to start networking. 530 00:21:11,429 --> 00:21:14,104 I mean, why aren't I in those superhero movies? 531 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:18,667 What do you think? I can't play a chicken or a-- 532 00:21:18,702 --> 00:21:21,487 Or a sultry supervillain bent on revenge? 533 00:21:21,522 --> 00:21:25,040 Oh, aubri, how much are we paying 534 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,109 This delightful young man? 535 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:28,368 Very little. 536 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,528 Yeah. 537 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:30,963 Oh, it's my manager. 538 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,190 Okay, fix that tree thing. 539 00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:35,351 Remember, I believe in you. 540 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:38,387 And you stay right where you are. 541 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:40,005 Hello. 542 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,216 - Thanks for encouraging her. - Hey! 543 00:21:48,049 --> 00:21:51,534 It's a bummer nobody will hear your jokes tonight. 544 00:21:51,569 --> 00:21:54,887 Oh, well, I'll have plenty more opportunities before christmas. 545 00:21:54,963 --> 00:21:57,389 Why doesn't belle invite you to her party, 546 00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,324 So you can meet all her agent friends? 547 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:02,260 Oh, she says bringing her assistant as her plus one 548 00:22:02,338 --> 00:22:04,079 Will make it seem like she can't get a date. 549 00:22:04,081 --> 00:22:07,900 I just met her and she seems incredible, but seems like 550 00:22:07,902 --> 00:22:09,643 She dangles a carrot to keep you behind the scenes. 551 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,753 No, she supports my career. 552 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,040 Because it supports hers. 553 00:22:14,075 --> 00:22:15,591 Next year will be different. 554 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,150 She knows how much this means to me. 555 00:22:17,228 --> 00:22:20,170 And it's not like I don't enjoy my job. 556 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,547 You're talented, cuz. 557 00:22:21,582 --> 00:22:23,098 I just want to see you hit it big time 558 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,401 And not be a ghostwriter forever. 559 00:22:25,436 --> 00:22:26,886 Thank you. 560 00:22:26,921 --> 00:22:29,347 What's the deal with bella? 561 00:22:30,741 --> 00:22:32,332 Oh, uh, she sent her apologies, 562 00:22:32,410 --> 00:22:34,501 But her dog was sick, and then got better, 563 00:22:34,579 --> 00:22:37,521 And then got adopted, so she had to deal with that. 564 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,249 But it all-- it all ended up working out. 565 00:22:40,251 --> 00:22:42,084 I told brittany at city hall this afternoon. 566 00:22:42,086 --> 00:22:44,236 Well, she must have forgotten to tell me because, in ten minutes, 567 00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,604 I'm emceeing this thing 568 00:22:45,681 --> 00:22:47,272 And I haven't even started my vocal warm-ups. 569 00:22:47,349 --> 00:22:49,274 I'm sure your elocution will be spot on. 570 00:22:49,351 --> 00:22:50,776 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... 571 00:22:50,853 --> 00:22:53,520 Well, obviously, we need someone to perform, 572 00:22:53,598 --> 00:22:55,081 And that's gonna be you. 573 00:22:55,116 --> 00:22:56,356 Me? 574 00:22:56,434 --> 00:22:57,616 No. No, no, no, no, no. 575 00:22:57,693 --> 00:22:59,801 I'm a nobody. No. 576 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,361 Well, that's what I told them, but my hands are tied. 577 00:23:01,439 --> 00:23:04,139 They're your jokes. Do it for christmas. 578 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,475 No, they won't be the same. I don't have bella's delivery. 579 00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,645 I... I haven't done my vocal warm-ups either, so... 580 00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:11,037 You can do it. 581 00:23:11,115 --> 00:23:13,315 Yeah, well, whether you can or can't, it's happening. 582 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,117 You're on in two minutes. 583 00:23:15,152 --> 00:23:16,518 Two minutes. 584 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,213 I think I'm gonna throw up. 585 00:23:20,291 --> 00:23:22,491 I'll go do sound check. You got this. 586 00:23:22,493 --> 00:23:23,692 Yeah. Okay. 587 00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,986 Ooh... Okay. Yeah, so, I'm gonna do it. 588 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,056 Psst. Hey, it's mike. 589 00:23:30,134 --> 00:23:31,450 Yeah, I know. 590 00:23:31,485 --> 00:23:33,669 Mike baxter. 591 00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:35,638 Do I not look incognito? 592 00:23:35,673 --> 00:23:38,916 No, you look like mike baxter but in sunglasses. 593 00:23:40,177 --> 00:23:41,627 Where's bella? Isn't she about to go on? 594 00:23:41,662 --> 00:23:43,662 I'm filling in. It's a whole thing. 595 00:23:43,739 --> 00:23:45,681 - Great! - No! No, no. 596 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:48,467 It's not great. Nobody knows who I am. 597 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,912 Now, nobody knows who you are. 598 00:23:52,022 --> 00:23:55,265 Now, I'm just the same nobody but in sunglasses. 599 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,993 Look, you're gonna be-- you're gonna be great. Okay? 600 00:23:58,028 --> 00:24:00,862 Just go out there and have some fun with it. 601 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,481 They'll know you the next time. 602 00:24:02,516 --> 00:24:04,524 Please welcome to the stage... 603 00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:06,092 - Oh, no. - Okay, no, no, no. 604 00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:08,195 You're not going anywhere. You got this. 605 00:24:08,272 --> 00:24:10,005 - Okay. - Okay, you got this. 606 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,509 ...From our beloved comedy club, aubri wilson. 607 00:24:16,380 --> 00:24:18,847 Good luck up here. They wouldn't give me an inch. 608 00:24:18,882 --> 00:24:21,183 - Okay. - That's my time. 609 00:24:22,886 --> 00:24:24,837 Hello. Merry christmas, everybody. 610 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:29,341 Oh, I forgot to move this out of the way. 611 00:24:31,212 --> 00:24:34,180 - Ardenville, merry christmas. - Merry christmas. 612 00:24:34,215 --> 00:24:35,547 As robert said, I do, 613 00:24:35,624 --> 00:24:37,850 In fact, work for the historic comedy club. 614 00:24:37,885 --> 00:24:40,219 You all look a little confused, and you know what? 615 00:24:40,295 --> 00:24:42,312 I am just as confused as you are. 616 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,388 Yeah, the more observant 617 00:24:43,465 --> 00:24:44,857 In the audience may have noticed, 618 00:24:44,892 --> 00:24:47,193 I am not, in fact, bella deldomino. 619 00:24:47,228 --> 00:24:49,028 Was it my bouncy, 620 00:24:49,063 --> 00:24:50,395 Radiant skin that gave it away? 621 00:24:50,472 --> 00:24:53,490 - What? - No? 622 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,735 Uh, well, can we give it up for the comedy club? 623 00:24:56,812 --> 00:24:58,204 yeah! 624 00:24:58,239 --> 00:25:01,573 Yeah, yeah, I've been there for about five years, 625 00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:03,817 Performing duties as, to quote my business cards, 626 00:25:03,894 --> 00:25:06,428 "crypt keeper". 627 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:10,265 Our hallowed halls are lined with photographs of famous, 628 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,827 Legendary comedians who have graced our stage over the years. 629 00:25:13,904 --> 00:25:15,587 They are icons, 630 00:25:15,664 --> 00:25:17,939 The real who's who of hollywood, 631 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:21,352 As in, "uh, who's that again?" 632 00:25:22,263 --> 00:25:24,521 Um... Well, 633 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,249 Does anybody have someone in their life 634 00:25:27,251 --> 00:25:29,284 That is just impossible to buy presents for? 635 00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:32,254 - Bella! Bella! Bella! - Uh, anyone? 636 00:25:32,289 --> 00:25:35,941 Bella! Bella! Bella! 637 00:25:36,018 --> 00:25:37,959 See, my mother, 638 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:41,580 She's is one of those people. Oh, I love my mother, but-- 639 00:25:41,615 --> 00:25:44,850 Bella! Bella! Bella! 640 00:25:44,885 --> 00:25:46,626 Oh! 641 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:48,036 Uh, mike baxter, what are you doing here? 642 00:25:50,808 --> 00:25:52,032 Mike baxter! 643 00:25:52,109 --> 00:25:54,109 Hi there. I was just enjoying your set, 644 00:25:54,144 --> 00:25:56,762 And it suddenly occurred to me 645 00:25:56,797 --> 00:25:58,313 That I'm pretty sure my picture 646 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,115 Is hanging on the walls of the comedy club. 647 00:26:00,150 --> 00:26:01,433 No, no, no, no, no. Oh, allow me to clarify. 648 00:26:01,468 --> 00:26:02,984 Yes, please, please clarify. 649 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:05,454 My earlier joke bore no relevance to the defendant. 650 00:26:05,489 --> 00:26:07,063 No, no, no! Not a defendant. 651 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:08,640 - No, no. No. - A different word. 652 00:26:08,717 --> 00:26:09,942 The all-around innocent... 653 00:26:09,977 --> 00:26:11,551 Innocent! We like that much better. 654 00:26:11,629 --> 00:26:12,778 Michael... 655 00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:14,162 Baxter! 656 00:26:17,501 --> 00:26:19,501 You can get off my stage now. 657 00:26:22,397 --> 00:26:25,565 And don't forget, tickets are on sale for the variety show 658 00:26:25,643 --> 00:26:27,584 Christmas eve at the comedy club. 659 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,181 You really saved me up there. 660 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,683 Oh, come on. It's just tough to deal with hecklers. 661 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,135 But that was great. That was fun, right? 662 00:26:36,170 --> 00:26:38,320 - It was fun. - That was incredible. 663 00:26:38,355 --> 00:26:41,323 I was so scared you were going to bomb, I almost passed out. 664 00:26:41,358 --> 00:26:44,225 Mike, this is ian, my very supportive cousin, 665 00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:46,269 Who always believes in me. 666 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,029 I'm such a big fan, 667 00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,606 Especially of your recent work. 668 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:50,699 Oh. 669 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,275 That scene where you forgave yourself 670 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:55,854 For not forgiving your son for never forgiving you, 671 00:26:55,931 --> 00:26:58,324 I felt that. 672 00:26:59,601 --> 00:27:02,285 Well, he's a liar, but I like him. 673 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:05,772 Oma wenders on the house, sponsors of the event. 674 00:27:05,774 --> 00:27:08,550 And mr. Baxter, I'm really hoping we see you and belle 675 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,519 At some of our other holiday events. 676 00:27:10,554 --> 00:27:12,295 Sure, count me in, anything christmas. 677 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:13,705 This is gonna be the best 678 00:27:13,782 --> 00:27:16,008 Christmas fest ardenville has ever seen. 679 00:27:16,043 --> 00:27:17,509 It's time for the tree lighting! 680 00:27:17,544 --> 00:27:19,695 Oh, we're missing the-- the switch getting flipped. 681 00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:21,380 Okay! 682 00:27:21,415 --> 00:27:23,699 Ten, nine, eight... 683 00:27:23,734 --> 00:27:25,141 Come on, come on, come on! 684 00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,535 ...Six, five, 685 00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:29,479 Four, three, two, one! 686 00:27:40,867 --> 00:27:43,035 Oh, my god! What is this? 687 00:27:43,070 --> 00:27:44,586 Oma wenders. 688 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:46,146 It'll get easier the more you drink. 689 00:27:46,223 --> 00:27:47,873 Oh, spicy! 690 00:27:48,926 --> 00:27:52,127 Oh, it burns. I like it now. 691 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,847 Just take out those two words there. 692 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,758 Oh, I heard you and mike were quite a hit 693 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,487 At the christmas tree lighting ceremony. 694 00:28:01,522 --> 00:28:04,606 You know, it's hard for me to picture you on stage. 695 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:07,183 It's really not in your wheelhouse, is it? 696 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,894 We had to promote the variety show. 697 00:28:08,929 --> 00:28:11,263 Yeah, the ticket sales haven't been great. 698 00:28:11,339 --> 00:28:14,933 You were lucky to have some star power with you. 699 00:28:15,010 --> 00:28:16,402 How did it work? 700 00:28:16,437 --> 00:28:20,605 Well, we sold more tickets, and acts are calling us now, 701 00:28:20,682 --> 00:28:22,457 Which means we can finally hold auditions. 702 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,101 No, I mean, how did it work, your performance? 703 00:28:25,179 --> 00:28:29,038 You know, I mean, your writing skills are stellar. 704 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,691 But sometimes, stage work, 705 00:28:31,769 --> 00:28:34,937 It requires a more... Commanding presence. 706 00:28:34,972 --> 00:28:38,974 Well, mike had enough presence for the both of us. 707 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:41,610 Oh, well, I'm happy that it went well for you. 708 00:28:41,645 --> 00:28:43,262 But you know, it could just be beginner's luck. 709 00:28:43,297 --> 00:28:46,565 So, you don't want to get too overconfident about it. 710 00:28:46,641 --> 00:28:49,017 I mean, you're used to seeing me kill on stage, 711 00:28:49,052 --> 00:28:52,545 So you might forget how embarrassing it could be 712 00:28:52,623 --> 00:28:54,573 If the whole thing fell flat. 713 00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:56,208 Well, you can dazzle audiences 714 00:28:56,243 --> 00:28:58,143 In the christmas village walk-through. 715 00:28:58,220 --> 00:28:59,278 Ehh. No. 716 00:28:59,313 --> 00:29:01,780 Where's the drama? 717 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:03,890 It's too pedestrian. 718 00:29:03,968 --> 00:29:05,333 No, you're not walking. 719 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,227 You're interacting with people as they walk through. 720 00:29:07,304 --> 00:29:08,620 And from what I'm told, 721 00:29:08,655 --> 00:29:11,656 You are playing a significant christmas legend. 722 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:14,659 Bella deldomino, 723 00:29:14,736 --> 00:29:16,177 Christmas legend. 724 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:17,737 There you go. 725 00:29:17,815 --> 00:29:19,331 You're going to come with me, right? 726 00:29:19,407 --> 00:29:21,074 Because, I mean, in case I need to change the script, 727 00:29:21,151 --> 00:29:23,135 I mean, I need you there. 728 00:29:23,170 --> 00:29:24,636 Of course, I will be there, as always. 729 00:29:24,671 --> 00:29:26,596 But you are a guest on a podcast next week, 730 00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:28,891 So let's focus on that next, okay? 731 00:29:31,161 --> 00:29:34,587 ♪ christmas liqueurs... ♪ 732 00:29:34,665 --> 00:29:36,515 Writing away? 733 00:29:36,591 --> 00:29:38,199 Reminds me of when you were a kid, 734 00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:39,367 Always lost in your notebook. 735 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:41,036 Well, except I'm not getting grounded 736 00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:42,354 For ignoring my homework. 737 00:29:42,430 --> 00:29:45,390 I haven't felt this creative in a really long time. 738 00:29:45,467 --> 00:29:46,783 Well, I made you some mint tea 739 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,527 For helping me bring the girls to school. 740 00:29:48,603 --> 00:29:50,119 Oh, thank you. 741 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:53,365 Wait, school? I could have sworn you said "racetrack". 742 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,884 I really appreciate you 743 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,277 For letting me crash at your place. 744 00:29:57,354 --> 00:29:58,553 We love having you. 745 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,088 I mean, I wish you could have 746 00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:03,224 Stayed with us last year, you and... Jessica. 747 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,728 She's left me for some football player, 748 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,239 Then left him when his team lost in the playoffs. 749 00:30:09,316 --> 00:30:11,350 I think she has commitment issues. 750 00:30:11,385 --> 00:30:13,142 Hmm. That's one way to put it. 751 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:14,870 Well, she would have never stayed. 752 00:30:14,905 --> 00:30:16,021 That bed is awful. 753 00:30:16,056 --> 00:30:18,464 You said you slept well. 754 00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:20,984 I did, I said that, but I lied. 755 00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:24,905 But hanging with family is worth the kink in my neck... 756 00:30:24,982 --> 00:30:26,973 And the nagging in my ear. 757 00:30:26,975 --> 00:30:29,334 Yeah, well, just think, if you had a family of your own, 758 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,386 You'd be able to experience this kind of torture every day. 759 00:30:31,421 --> 00:30:33,555 I do want a family someday. 760 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,907 It just hasn't been right. 761 00:30:35,909 --> 00:30:37,793 - I have time. - Mm-hmm. 762 00:30:39,746 --> 00:30:41,254 Sorry. 763 00:30:41,331 --> 00:30:42,764 - One sec. - Mm-hmm. 764 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,157 Hey, damon. 765 00:30:44,234 --> 00:30:47,052 Is he on or isn't he? Brandon, is he on? 766 00:30:47,087 --> 00:30:48,720 He's here. Hi, damon. 767 00:30:48,755 --> 00:30:51,681 Mikey, my favorite client. Sorry about that. 768 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,091 I had this new assistant forwarding calls 769 00:30:53,168 --> 00:30:54,667 And it's just been a mess. 770 00:30:54,745 --> 00:30:57,245 Right. You know, you could try being a little more gentle. 771 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,564 What are you, my last assistant? 772 00:30:58,599 --> 00:31:00,499 Listen, okay? I'm calling to let you know 773 00:31:00,534 --> 00:31:02,033 That things are going well with rooster, okay? 774 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,176 We have an offer? 775 00:31:03,253 --> 00:31:04,619 Well, not an offer per se, 776 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,179 But they do want you to come back in 777 00:31:06,256 --> 00:31:07,739 And read with the guy with ho's doing the voice for-- 778 00:31:07,774 --> 00:31:10,625 What's the name of that talking cow again? Um... 779 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,035 Agent bo vine. 780 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:13,645 Yes, that's the one. 781 00:31:13,722 --> 00:31:15,347 By the way, they're going crazy 782 00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:17,106 For your christmas set that you did with that woman. 783 00:31:17,184 --> 00:31:19,034 They were thinking about rewriting 784 00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:20,519 The cow and rooster relationship 785 00:31:20,554 --> 00:31:22,028 To have the same banter, you know what I mean? 786 00:31:22,106 --> 00:31:23,379 They saw that? 787 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,697 Everyone's seen it. 788 00:31:24,775 --> 00:31:26,141 How is it possible that my own mother 789 00:31:26,143 --> 00:31:27,526 Knows more about social media than you do? 790 00:31:27,561 --> 00:31:28,860 Well your mother doesn't get death threats 791 00:31:28,895 --> 00:31:30,445 From teenage comic book fans. 792 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,780 Keep up the appearances, okay? 793 00:31:31,815 --> 00:31:33,648 And we need more viral moments to keep going, 794 00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,375 So that the studio cannot say no. 795 00:31:35,452 --> 00:31:37,152 you know, there was a time 796 00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,803 When an actor could just give a good audition. 797 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,239 Well, when you see that actor, tell him I said good morrow. 798 00:31:41,241 --> 00:31:43,475 Until then, let's keep the viral moments coming, okay? 799 00:31:43,551 --> 00:31:45,051 Viral moments... 800 00:31:45,129 --> 00:31:47,403 You look amazing up there. Your body's looking better. 801 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:49,222 But you know, rooster's a superhero. 802 00:31:49,299 --> 00:31:50,573 You know what I mean? 803 00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,500 - Goodbye, damon. - No, no, no, listen. 804 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:55,245 I'm just saying the carbs at the dinner on christmas-- 805 00:31:57,732 --> 00:32:00,666 The studio loved me at the tree lighting. 806 00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:04,646 Apparently, I'm one step closer to getting the part. 807 00:32:04,681 --> 00:32:06,632 You don't seem excited. 808 00:32:06,667 --> 00:32:09,017 No, I am. 809 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:11,653 I am. It's just... 810 00:32:11,688 --> 00:32:15,415 ...Being back made me remember how much I love stand-up, 811 00:32:15,492 --> 00:32:17,976 Being on stage, being in front of an audience. 812 00:32:18,011 --> 00:32:21,671 You don't have to be a superhero to be successful. 813 00:32:21,749 --> 00:32:23,665 I have to raise my profile. 814 00:32:23,700 --> 00:32:25,751 I took a big hit with those indies. 815 00:32:25,786 --> 00:32:28,511 Any lower and I'll be going out for the voice of agent bo vine. 816 00:32:28,589 --> 00:32:33,659 Look, things are good. Everything is good. 817 00:32:35,195 --> 00:32:37,378 Good. 818 00:32:45,047 --> 00:32:49,007 bella, it's almost show time. 819 00:32:49,042 --> 00:32:50,792 You're going to have to tell them 820 00:32:50,869 --> 00:32:53,478 That I've got an emergency with my dog or something. 821 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:55,496 Nope, I've already used that one. You're stuck. 822 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:58,517 Now, please, just come on out already. 823 00:32:58,552 --> 00:33:00,518 Look at this sack. 824 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,812 When you said a christmas legend, 825 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:05,890 I imagined somebody much more glamorous, 826 00:33:05,967 --> 00:33:07,642 Not santa's stay-at-home hag. 827 00:33:07,677 --> 00:33:09,077 Oh, no. No. 828 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:12,914 No. Mrs. Claus is a business owner. 829 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:16,684 I mean, without her, the entire operation just falls apart. 830 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:18,720 I mean, she, she is strong 831 00:33:18,755 --> 00:33:23,058 And she is independent. 832 00:33:23,093 --> 00:33:24,710 She's probably rich, too, right? 833 00:33:24,745 --> 00:33:27,095 - Oh, yeah. - Oh. 834 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,822 You sure couldn't tell from the horrible shoes. 835 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:31,717 Where is my husband? 836 00:33:31,752 --> 00:33:35,403 Actually, I don't know, but he better show up soon. 837 00:33:37,407 --> 00:33:38,757 What is that noise? 838 00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:40,909 Those are children, bella. 839 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:45,864 Uh... Robert is playing santa 840 00:33:45,940 --> 00:33:47,265 And he just texted that he's caught in traffic. 841 00:33:47,342 --> 00:33:49,284 So, we're going to have to do without him. 842 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,526 No. No. 843 00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:51,436 Yes. Yes. 844 00:33:51,513 --> 00:33:52,678 No, not alone. 845 00:33:52,756 --> 00:33:55,014 You go, get a costume 846 00:33:55,092 --> 00:33:56,575 Or change into something less drab. 847 00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:58,226 You want me? 848 00:33:58,228 --> 00:34:00,512 We are going to do this together. 849 00:34:00,547 --> 00:34:01,997 Aubri, don't you think that 850 00:34:02,032 --> 00:34:05,049 If mrs. Claus liked children, she would have had some by now? 851 00:34:05,126 --> 00:34:09,278 uh... 852 00:34:09,356 --> 00:34:13,925 Excuse me. Where did you get that costume? 853 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:18,463 Okay, how excited are we to see santa? 854 00:34:18,540 --> 00:34:20,723 Very excited. 855 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:23,392 Oh! Hey, robert, 856 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,436 I'll call you right back. 857 00:34:24,471 --> 00:34:26,395 - Hi. - Mike, what are you doing here? 858 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:29,257 I brought my sister and her girls to see santa. 859 00:34:29,259 --> 00:34:30,825 This is olivia, this is gabrielle. 860 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:33,819 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. 861 00:34:33,821 --> 00:34:35,388 - How's it going? - Good. 862 00:34:35,465 --> 00:34:38,666 Well, our santa's having a bit of a panic attack on the I-94, 863 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:40,476 And the kids are lining up, and bella's the only one there. 864 00:34:40,554 --> 00:34:41,720 This is an emergency. 865 00:34:41,755 --> 00:34:43,246 Yeah, it's been quite the morning 866 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:44,623 And I don't know what to do. 867 00:34:44,658 --> 00:34:47,325 I mean, I can't make the kids wait any longer, so... 868 00:34:47,402 --> 00:34:49,177 What? 869 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:50,570 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 870 00:34:50,647 --> 00:34:54,090 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 871 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:55,591 - Oh, no, no, no. - It'll be great. 872 00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:56,968 - I don't think so. - Mike... 873 00:35:00,824 --> 00:35:01,907 Bella! 874 00:35:01,942 --> 00:35:03,642 Good news, we have a... 875 00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:08,605 What is this? 876 00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:14,735 Mrs. Claus has turned into a magnificent angel. 877 00:35:14,737 --> 00:35:17,021 That's dark, don't you think? 878 00:35:17,056 --> 00:35:19,190 Mike? 879 00:35:19,267 --> 00:35:21,784 You can't be here, mike. This is my thing. 880 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:24,679 We have to have mrs. Claus. 881 00:35:24,714 --> 00:35:27,773 She hands out cookies. Angels, they can't bake. 882 00:35:27,851 --> 00:35:31,002 Angel cookies? Angel food cake? 883 00:35:32,055 --> 00:35:33,613 angel cookies-- no, no, no. 884 00:35:33,690 --> 00:35:37,192 The kids, they're out there and they're expecting mrs. Claus, 885 00:35:37,227 --> 00:35:39,135 And there's feathers everywhere. 886 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:41,887 Bella, this is not gonna work and we are late already. 887 00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:43,639 If you are so concerned 888 00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:46,143 About those so-called "kids", you wear the sack. 889 00:35:46,219 --> 00:35:47,568 Yeah, you put on the sack. 890 00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:50,522 And look, I knew this was going to be perfect. 891 00:35:50,557 --> 00:35:52,148 - Oh... - The gray! 892 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,192 - Really looks so good on you. - Oh, yeah? 893 00:35:55,920 --> 00:36:00,306 I mean, doesn't this make a lot more sense? 894 00:36:00,384 --> 00:36:01,657 Children. 895 00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:03,118 Mm-hmm. 896 00:36:03,153 --> 00:36:04,252 Oh! 897 00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:07,164 Well, merry christmas, children. 898 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:11,175 Come and say hello to santa and mrs. Claus. 899 00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:14,562 Ho, ho, ho! 900 00:36:14,597 --> 00:36:16,022 Welcome to my village! 901 00:36:17,767 --> 00:36:19,934 Welcome to my village! 902 00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:23,938 Mrs. Claus has been baking cookies all day for you! 903 00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:27,183 All right, all right, you sugar plums. 904 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,411 If you can just form a single line... 905 00:36:29,446 --> 00:36:32,688 And santa will hear all your christmas requests. 906 00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,023 I forgot to mention, 907 00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:36,025 I don't have a lot of experience with kids. 908 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,903 Oh, you'll be fine. They love santa. 909 00:36:37,938 --> 00:36:40,939 Okay, okay, everybody! 910 00:36:41,015 --> 00:36:42,848 Take one cookie! 911 00:36:42,926 --> 00:36:44,792 Okay, two! Two cookies! 912 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:47,612 Okay, is there an elf that can help us?! 913 00:36:47,689 --> 00:36:50,539 Okay, three! Everyone gets three! 914 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,792 - Bella! - Is there an elf back there?! 915 00:36:52,869 --> 00:36:53,959 I'm here! 916 00:36:53,961 --> 00:36:55,378 You've been bumped! 917 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:56,938 You can't bump santa! 918 00:36:56,973 --> 00:36:59,941 Oh, it happens, even to the best of us. 919 00:36:59,976 --> 00:37:02,761 Mike! Aubri! 920 00:37:02,796 --> 00:37:05,680 ♪ silent night shh... 921 00:37:05,715 --> 00:37:07,766 Okay. ♪ holy night 922 00:37:07,801 --> 00:37:11,619 ♪ all is calm 923 00:37:11,621 --> 00:37:13,171 We're being calm. 924 00:37:13,173 --> 00:37:16,824 ♪ all is bright but we're still having fun. 925 00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:17,992 ♪ round... 926 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:21,988 Look! You're under the mistletoe! 927 00:37:26,561 --> 00:37:27,893 I got some great videos of you today. 928 00:37:27,971 --> 00:37:29,395 You should post them. 929 00:37:29,473 --> 00:37:31,973 Maybe not the ones of you weeping like a small child. 930 00:37:32,008 --> 00:37:33,899 All right, you know what? You just witnessed a man 931 00:37:33,977 --> 00:37:36,644 Getting trampled by cookie-deprived children, 932 00:37:36,679 --> 00:37:38,112 And all you're doing is trying to get views. 933 00:37:38,264 --> 00:37:40,348 Hey, you wanted to connect with your audience more. 934 00:37:40,383 --> 00:37:41,590 This is the perfect way. 935 00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:43,084 A little less terror would have been better. 936 00:37:43,161 --> 00:37:45,077 My agent thinks it's helping with the studio. 937 00:37:45,155 --> 00:37:46,504 Yeah, I'm sure. 938 00:37:46,581 --> 00:37:48,414 You know, I think you should show people the real you. 939 00:37:48,416 --> 00:37:51,526 The kids, they loved you. You were a big hit. 940 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:56,498 Yeah, well, grandpa is pretty bad with social media stuff. 941 00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:58,149 Will you help me? 942 00:37:58,184 --> 00:37:59,651 Yeah, of course. And afterwards, 943 00:37:59,686 --> 00:38:01,769 Maybe I can even teach you about internet dial-up. 944 00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:03,871 What about tomorrow night? 945 00:38:03,873 --> 00:38:05,448 Caroline's? 946 00:38:05,525 --> 00:38:07,692 I hear they have a famous chocolate cake. 947 00:38:07,769 --> 00:38:09,527 All right, you know what? 948 00:38:09,562 --> 00:38:10,936 If you don't like chocolate cake, 949 00:38:10,938 --> 00:38:12,271 I'm going to go hang with the shepherds. 950 00:38:12,349 --> 00:38:13,939 It's just, we have an event this week 951 00:38:14,017 --> 00:38:15,550 And bella needs new material, so... 952 00:38:15,626 --> 00:38:17,443 Well, if you want we could work on jokes together. 953 00:38:17,521 --> 00:38:21,022 I was planning on dropping in for open mic night, anyway. 954 00:38:21,057 --> 00:38:24,467 Yes, bella would love it if you went up. Yeah, 955 00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:26,394 Why don't you come on stage with me? 956 00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:28,196 - We'll do a set together. - No. 957 00:38:28,231 --> 00:38:30,456 Come on, it'll be fun. You could always do your own set. 958 00:38:30,534 --> 00:38:31,974 - Oh, no. - It'll be fun. 959 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,317 - No. - All right. All right. I tried. 960 00:38:33,352 --> 00:38:34,519 I got to get back to my sister. 961 00:38:34,554 --> 00:38:39,316 I'll see you tomorrow night, eight o'clock. 962 00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:47,907 Wow! 963 00:38:47,984 --> 00:38:50,869 - Who's the hot date? - Uh, not a date. 964 00:38:50,904 --> 00:38:52,653 Okay? A work meeting. 965 00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:54,172 I'm helping mike with social media 966 00:38:54,248 --> 00:38:55,390 And he's helping me with jokes. 967 00:38:55,425 --> 00:38:57,758 He's a very lucky work colleague. 968 00:38:57,835 --> 00:39:01,479 He doesn't see me like that. Stars date other stars. 969 00:39:01,514 --> 00:39:02,914 Yeah, well, last time I checked, 970 00:39:02,990 --> 00:39:04,399 You're the funniest person I know. 971 00:39:04,434 --> 00:39:06,084 Then, wish me luck... With work. 972 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,160 - Uh-huh. - With work. 973 00:39:08,238 --> 00:39:10,472 Good luck. 974 00:39:20,767 --> 00:39:22,233 hi. 975 00:39:22,268 --> 00:39:24,419 Excuse me, is the table a little more private? 976 00:39:24,454 --> 00:39:26,011 Thanks. 977 00:39:26,089 --> 00:39:28,823 okay, bye. 978 00:39:30,017 --> 00:39:32,701 Thank you. 979 00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:35,354 Okay... 980 00:39:35,432 --> 00:39:37,582 - Thank you. - Thank you. 981 00:39:37,617 --> 00:39:40,393 If my agent asks, I ordered cottage cheese. 982 00:39:40,470 --> 00:39:41,828 Rooster? 983 00:39:41,904 --> 00:39:44,455 They want this version of me that doesn't exist. 984 00:39:44,532 --> 00:39:46,257 Apparently, superheroes eat like monks. 985 00:39:46,292 --> 00:39:48,426 Okay, and what do you want? 986 00:39:48,461 --> 00:39:51,262 I want to enjoy my life and make people happy. 987 00:39:51,297 --> 00:39:54,723 I got Saturday sketch club at 19 and for the first time, 988 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:56,709 I was successful, but it felt like 989 00:39:56,786 --> 00:39:59,270 I needed to prove myself as a real actor. 990 00:39:59,305 --> 00:40:02,307 So, I started doing these dramas, which all flopped, 991 00:40:02,309 --> 00:40:06,461 And then it felt like I needed to be on top to be happy. 992 00:40:06,496 --> 00:40:11,240 Okay, so, the dramas flopped, but why not go back to comedy? 993 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,558 I love comedy, 994 00:40:12,636 --> 00:40:14,802 But I wanted to feel in control of my life again. 995 00:40:14,837 --> 00:40:17,922 You know, failed relationships and box office disasters. 996 00:40:17,999 --> 00:40:20,959 So, I took myself out of the comedy game entirely, 997 00:40:20,994 --> 00:40:22,810 Put myself in early retirement. 998 00:40:22,845 --> 00:40:25,012 Got myself a landline, and a walker, 999 00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,798 And a whole bunch of hard candy. 1000 00:40:26,833 --> 00:40:28,983 Okay, well, to me, it seems like 1001 00:40:29,018 --> 00:40:30,985 You were afraid to fail at something 1002 00:40:31,020 --> 00:40:32,503 That was really important to you. 1003 00:40:32,580 --> 00:40:34,863 Well, right now all that's important to me is carb-loading 1004 00:40:34,865 --> 00:40:36,324 Before I need a six-pack. 1005 00:40:36,359 --> 00:40:37,508 Okay, you don't have to do that. 1006 00:40:37,585 --> 00:40:39,769 No, I do. It's-- it's in my contract. 1007 00:40:39,846 --> 00:40:42,922 It's a contractual six-pack. 1008 00:40:42,999 --> 00:40:44,865 It's okay to be yourself, you know? 1009 00:40:44,942 --> 00:40:49,094 You don't have to prove anything to me. 1010 00:40:49,172 --> 00:40:51,363 Sometimes, it feels like 1011 00:40:51,365 --> 00:40:52,940 I need to prove to everyone 1012 00:40:52,942 --> 00:40:55,117 That I'm still that 19-year-old success story. 1013 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:57,311 Is that why you're taking rooster? 1014 00:40:57,463 --> 00:40:59,697 Because it seems to me like you don't really want it. 1015 00:40:59,732 --> 00:41:00,940 I do. 1016 00:41:01,017 --> 00:41:02,775 It's the only way to come back on top. 1017 00:41:02,852 --> 00:41:05,336 I just want to make people smile again. 1018 00:41:05,371 --> 00:41:08,113 Well, for what it's worth, you make me smile 1019 00:41:08,191 --> 00:41:12,043 Without being star of screen and stage mike baxter. 1020 00:41:12,119 --> 00:41:14,471 You're different. 1021 00:41:14,547 --> 00:41:17,640 I am talking so much. 1022 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:21,627 Way too much. What about you? What about your stage debut? 1023 00:41:21,705 --> 00:41:23,521 I mean, you've got that star quality. 1024 00:41:23,556 --> 00:41:25,315 Nobody can take their eyes off of you. 1025 00:41:26,843 --> 00:41:31,696 Is-is what everyone believes. 1026 00:41:31,731 --> 00:41:32,972 Not just me. 1027 00:41:33,049 --> 00:41:34,991 That's all I'm saying. 1028 00:41:36,586 --> 00:41:38,419 It's better for me off-stage, trust me. 1029 00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:40,054 Who told you that? 1030 00:41:40,089 --> 00:41:41,814 Everyone, 1031 00:41:41,891 --> 00:41:43,924 Bella, my mom, eighth-grade drama teacher. 1032 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:47,212 No, to not even try, when you're clearly as talented as you are, 1033 00:41:47,247 --> 00:41:48,546 It's absolutely crazy to me. 1034 00:41:48,581 --> 00:41:50,589 You owe it to yourself to try. 1035 00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:51,849 I have goals, I do. 1036 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:54,093 My goal is to get in the writers room, 1037 00:41:54,170 --> 00:41:56,087 You know, write for stars like you. 1038 00:41:56,163 --> 00:41:59,515 Stars like me... Look, don't waste your talent behind a desk. 1039 00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:02,476 You should make this christmas mean something. 1040 00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:05,354 It's the best time to follow your heart. 1041 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:08,032 You might be surprised where it leads you. 1042 00:42:08,109 --> 00:42:11,619 Christmas has this way of giving us exactly what we need. 1043 00:42:13,606 --> 00:42:16,924 - Bella. - Hello, darling. 1044 00:42:16,926 --> 00:42:21,429 Thank you so much for fitting my little show into your schedule. 1045 00:42:21,464 --> 00:42:22,855 Oh! Ha-ha! 1046 00:42:22,932 --> 00:42:27,085 Well, if having over a million subscribers to a podcast 1047 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,939 Is little, then my fan base is like a flea circus. 1048 00:42:31,974 --> 00:42:35,142 You must be so excited with the comedy club going viral. 1049 00:42:35,144 --> 00:42:37,795 Oh, yes. Well, mike baxter is performing. 1050 00:42:37,797 --> 00:42:39,430 Oh, it always makes us so happy 1051 00:42:39,432 --> 00:42:42,633 When our stars come back home to their roots. 1052 00:42:42,710 --> 00:42:44,827 Absolutely. Him and this new comic 1053 00:42:44,904 --> 00:42:47,555 Are certainly causing a sensation, 1054 00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:49,314 Oh, and promoting the comedy club. 1055 00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:50,999 New comic? 1056 00:42:51,001 --> 00:42:53,227 Yes, yes, yes. Please tell me all about her. 1057 00:42:53,262 --> 00:42:54,854 I mean, breaking new talent 1058 00:42:54,931 --> 00:42:56,230 Is part of the comedy club's legacy. 1059 00:42:56,307 --> 00:42:59,075 Uh-huh. 1060 00:43:00,737 --> 00:43:02,244 Huh? 1061 00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:03,671 Oh. 1062 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,489 That's my assistant. 1063 00:43:05,566 --> 00:43:07,308 She has to get me coffee when I ask her. 1064 00:43:07,343 --> 00:43:10,611 Oh, well, that is so sweet of you 1065 00:43:10,689 --> 00:43:12,730 To give her a platform at christmas. 1066 00:43:12,765 --> 00:43:14,982 She is clearly a rising talent. 1067 00:43:15,017 --> 00:43:17,260 May not be your assistant for long. 1068 00:43:23,793 --> 00:43:25,760 Aubri, say something into the mic quick. 1069 00:43:25,795 --> 00:43:27,645 Oh, hey, how was the podcast? 1070 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,180 Well, good. 1071 00:43:29,256 --> 00:43:30,648 Insightful. 1072 00:43:30,683 --> 00:43:33,017 I had no idea that the club 1073 00:43:33,094 --> 00:43:35,486 Was causing such a buzz on the internet. 1074 00:43:35,521 --> 00:43:37,380 Yeah, having mike around helps a lot. 1075 00:43:37,457 --> 00:43:39,657 Yeah, of course it does. He's a big star. 1076 00:43:39,692 --> 00:43:42,460 So, aubri, how are tickets going for the variety show? 1077 00:43:42,462 --> 00:43:46,872 Um, okay. I think as soon as I secure a headliner, 1078 00:43:46,950 --> 00:43:49,525 Then, uh, things should really pick up. 1079 00:43:49,602 --> 00:43:50,693 Yeah, it's tough, I know. 1080 00:43:50,770 --> 00:43:52,111 I'll tell you... 1081 00:43:52,188 --> 00:43:55,523 ...I won't perform, but I will host. 1082 00:43:55,558 --> 00:43:57,966 Sure. 1083 00:43:57,968 --> 00:43:59,761 Yeah, I think everybody will love that. 1084 00:43:59,796 --> 00:44:02,463 I know they will. Well, duty calls. 1085 00:44:02,540 --> 00:44:04,039 If the christmas fest needs me, 1086 00:44:04,117 --> 00:44:05,649 I'll be there. 1087 00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:07,851 Does this mean you'll be attending other events? 1088 00:44:07,853 --> 00:44:09,420 What's next? 1089 00:44:09,497 --> 00:44:10,587 Twinkle tunnel. 1090 00:44:10,665 --> 00:44:12,740 Ah. Is there an audience? 1091 00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:14,225 No, it's a tunnel. 1092 00:44:14,301 --> 00:44:16,468 But there will be at the snowball social, 1093 00:44:16,546 --> 00:44:17,695 Which is right afterwards. 1094 00:44:17,805 --> 00:44:19,230 Okay, you can count on me. 1095 00:44:19,306 --> 00:44:21,248 I'll be there with a costume on. 1096 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:23,826 Now, aubri, I don't want you filling in for me 1097 00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:25,370 Any longer, darling. 1098 00:44:25,405 --> 00:44:29,240 I can tell by the state of your under eyes that you are working 1099 00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:31,058 Way, way, way too hard. 1100 00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:34,127 Now, and I'll need new material. 1101 00:44:34,129 --> 00:44:36,004 For tonight? 1102 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:38,849 That is what I pay you for, isn't it? 1103 00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,509 Not to be prancing around on stage, 1104 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,069 Flirting with mike baxter. 1105 00:44:42,104 --> 00:44:45,597 Uh, yes, I will send you some new stuff this afternoon. 1106 00:44:45,599 --> 00:44:48,643 Excellent. See that you do. 1107 00:44:50,446 --> 00:44:54,031 Well, that was a sudden change of heart. 1108 00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,525 No, no, I've seen this before. When her last husband remarried, 1109 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:59,119 She made me send all these fake rumors to tabloids and stuff. 1110 00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:02,598 She must think mike's performing at the variety show. 1111 00:45:02,675 --> 00:45:04,992 Oh, it's too late now. 1112 00:45:04,994 --> 00:45:06,477 We've got some auditions to watch, 1113 00:45:06,554 --> 00:45:09,855 So I'm going to think about what to do with that later. 1114 00:45:09,933 --> 00:45:11,690 I really think you should try and beatbox. 1115 00:45:11,768 --> 00:45:13,525 - I think you could do it. - Oh, absolutely. 1116 00:45:13,603 --> 00:45:15,194 - Yeah, you could. - Hey, guys. 1117 00:45:15,271 --> 00:45:16,887 Sorry, I'm late. This is my sister steph. 1118 00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,356 - Hi. - Steph, this is aubri. 1119 00:45:18,391 --> 00:45:19,982 - This is ian. - Nice to meet you. 1120 00:45:20,059 --> 00:45:21,551 Mike said you wouldn't mind if I watched. 1121 00:45:21,627 --> 00:45:23,094 I told her we were judging people, 1122 00:45:23,204 --> 00:45:24,661 And she forced me to bring her. 1123 00:45:24,739 --> 00:45:26,764 Not at all. Please, take a seat. 1124 00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:30,451 Oh, wow. 1125 00:45:30,486 --> 00:45:31,853 I like the sweater. 1126 00:45:31,888 --> 00:45:33,538 - He's got a nice outfit. - Thank you. 1127 00:45:33,573 --> 00:45:35,898 Aubri, I, uh-- I love you. 1128 00:45:38,227 --> 00:45:41,245 I really, really love you. 1129 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,723 I really appreciate you. 1130 00:45:48,562 --> 00:45:50,421 - Can I start again? - Sure, you can try again. 1131 00:45:50,497 --> 00:45:52,957 Yeah, one more try. 1132 00:45:52,992 --> 00:45:55,342 Keep-- keep taking lessons. 1133 00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:57,587 This is theatre. 1134 00:45:57,663 --> 00:46:00,423 My name? Meaningless. 1135 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:05,536 Oh, thank-- thank you. 1136 00:46:05,613 --> 00:46:07,638 I'm a poet. The club. 1137 00:46:07,673 --> 00:46:11,175 Chicken club. Turkey club. 1138 00:46:11,252 --> 00:46:13,494 Comedy club. 1139 00:46:13,496 --> 00:46:15,446 One, two, three. Christmas tree, 1140 00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:19,108 Aubri, you and me. 1141 00:46:20,686 --> 00:46:22,678 Oh! Oh! 1142 00:46:25,024 --> 00:46:26,624 - That's-- thank you. - That's good. 1143 00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:27,866 Thank you. 1144 00:46:27,944 --> 00:46:30,202 It's okay. I got one more. 1145 00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:33,288 You tell luca to stay. 1146 00:46:33,290 --> 00:46:34,682 Luca's a method actor. 1147 00:46:34,717 --> 00:46:35,974 Oh, no, no. 1148 00:46:35,976 --> 00:46:37,084 It's gonna be okay. 1149 00:46:41,900 --> 00:46:43,524 Nice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1150 00:46:43,559 --> 00:46:45,809 I loved the juggler. 1151 00:46:45,844 --> 00:46:48,696 The juggler might have been my favorite, actually. 1152 00:46:48,731 --> 00:46:49,906 Thank you guys for letting me 1153 00:46:49,982 --> 00:46:52,199 Put my judgmental skills to good use. 1154 00:46:52,234 --> 00:46:53,801 Let me know if you want tickets. 1155 00:46:53,878 --> 00:46:56,270 Oh, I would, but my husband gets home on christmas eve, 1156 00:46:56,305 --> 00:46:59,874 And we have this tradition of dinner and movies, 1157 00:46:59,909 --> 00:47:01,192 By which I mean takeout 1158 00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:02,726 And fighting over what movie to watch. 1159 00:47:02,803 --> 00:47:05,729 I guess most people are staying home on christmas eve 1160 00:47:05,806 --> 00:47:07,247 Instead of buying tickets, so... 1161 00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:08,749 You'll get your audience. 1162 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:11,536 Yeah, hopefully, we will, with these new acts. 1163 00:47:11,571 --> 00:47:13,888 Anyway, we should get back. It's open mic night. 1164 00:47:13,923 --> 00:47:16,541 Good. I'll see you tonight. 1165 00:47:16,650 --> 00:47:18,258 Really? 1166 00:47:18,335 --> 00:47:22,213 Yeah, but keep it a secret. I want an unsuspecting audience. 1167 00:47:23,633 --> 00:47:26,843 - See you tonight. - See ya. 1168 00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:35,576 At christmas, dads hold court. 1169 00:47:35,611 --> 00:47:37,119 We're the ones who have a direct line to santa. 1170 00:47:37,196 --> 00:47:39,246 Like, kids must laugh at our jokes, right? 1171 00:47:39,323 --> 00:47:42,549 Who's never hungry at christmas? 1172 00:47:42,626 --> 00:47:44,168 I don't know. 1173 00:47:44,203 --> 00:47:45,636 Turkey! 1174 00:47:45,713 --> 00:47:48,339 - Because he's always stuffed. - Oh, come on. 1175 00:47:48,374 --> 00:47:50,858 Oh, come on. Remember who's got the line to santa. 1176 00:47:50,935 --> 00:47:52,426 Please, please, be nice, folks. 1177 00:47:52,461 --> 00:47:55,788 By the way, my name is jeremy. 1178 00:47:55,865 --> 00:47:57,915 Oh, open mic is tough. 1179 00:47:57,950 --> 00:48:00,434 Dying is easy, comedy is hard. 1180 00:48:00,469 --> 00:48:02,953 That's why I always stay behind the scenes. 1181 00:48:03,030 --> 00:48:04,922 Okay! 1182 00:48:04,957 --> 00:48:08,042 Let's all give it up for jeremy! 1183 00:48:08,077 --> 00:48:10,953 jeremy! 1184 00:48:12,231 --> 00:48:14,931 Good for you, jeremy. 1185 00:48:15,009 --> 00:48:17,284 Okay, settle back, have a drink. 1186 00:48:17,319 --> 00:48:20,121 Our next comic will be coming up in a minute. 1187 00:48:21,398 --> 00:48:22,881 Hey, how's the audience tonight? 1188 00:48:22,959 --> 00:48:24,383 Ooh, somewhere between gazpacho and room temp. 1189 00:48:24,460 --> 00:48:26,977 Right where I like them. 1190 00:48:27,054 --> 00:48:28,312 You're not nervous? 1191 00:48:28,389 --> 00:48:30,798 I mean, this is your first stand-up in years. 1192 00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:32,466 I'm excited. 1193 00:48:32,501 --> 00:48:34,218 I just hope they remember who I am. 1194 00:48:34,253 --> 00:48:35,653 Or at least forget my last movie. 1195 00:48:35,729 --> 00:48:37,204 They'll love you. 1196 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:39,807 Why don't you go up there and shine, super star? 1197 00:48:39,842 --> 00:48:43,769 All right, pretend to laugh no matter what. 1198 00:48:47,133 --> 00:48:48,299 - Testing. - Whoo! 1199 00:48:48,334 --> 00:48:50,550 Can we get some lights, please? 1200 00:48:52,246 --> 00:48:55,080 Stop it. Thank you. Thank you. You're very kind. 1201 00:48:55,158 --> 00:48:56,507 Please, stop. 1202 00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:58,609 All right, keep it going, keep it going. 1203 00:48:58,685 --> 00:49:01,945 So, christmas, people talk about the parties, 1204 00:49:01,980 --> 00:49:03,864 The presents, the food. 1205 00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:06,016 But nobody talks about... 1206 00:49:06,093 --> 00:49:08,486 ♪ the weird christmas liqueurs 1207 00:49:08,521 --> 00:49:10,154 ♪ don't make me drink 1208 00:49:10,189 --> 00:49:12,673 ♪ your weird christmas liqueurs ♪ 1209 00:49:12,708 --> 00:49:17,678 ♪ it's like they mix vegetables with some menthol ♪ 1210 00:49:17,713 --> 00:49:21,615 ♪ it tastes a lot like pepto bismol ♪ 1211 00:49:21,650 --> 00:49:24,718 ♪ weird christmas liqueurs 1212 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:27,855 ♪ cherry, eggnog 1213 00:49:27,890 --> 00:49:29,281 ♪ pumpkin spice 1214 00:49:29,358 --> 00:49:32,617 ♪ before you drink it, I would think twice ♪ 1215 00:49:32,695 --> 00:49:36,955 ♪ don't give me your peppermint matcha schnapps ♪ 1216 00:49:37,033 --> 00:49:38,849 ♪ I drank the whole shot 1217 00:49:38,884 --> 00:49:41,893 ♪ and it gave me the craps 1218 00:49:41,895 --> 00:49:43,662 ♪ weird christmas liqueurs 1219 00:49:43,664 --> 00:49:45,823 ♪ next year, I'll say... 1220 00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:49,843 ♪ no thank you 1221 00:49:53,599 --> 00:49:56,217 Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a big problem here. 1222 00:49:59,730 --> 00:50:03,815 It's a problem that has plagued humanity for a very long time. 1223 00:50:03,893 --> 00:50:06,593 ♪ uh, uh, uh 1224 00:50:06,670 --> 00:50:08,929 ♪ should I buy a fake tree or the real thing? ♪ 1225 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:12,216 ♪ a pine tree has a lot of needles to clean ♪ 1226 00:50:12,251 --> 00:50:15,502 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't jing-a-ling ♪ 1227 00:50:15,579 --> 00:50:18,513 ♪ but do I want to do the extra work and everything? 1228 00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:21,559 ♪ I only have a six-foot ceiling ♪ 1229 00:50:21,594 --> 00:50:23,594 ♪ my vacuum will start squealing ♪ 1230 00:50:23,670 --> 00:50:27,130 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't healing ♪ 1231 00:50:27,208 --> 00:50:30,501 ♪ but suddenly, a fake one sounds appealing ♪ 1232 00:50:30,536 --> 00:50:32,570 ♪ I don't wanna be a grinch to anyone ♪ 1233 00:50:32,679 --> 00:50:35,789 ♪ but I bet even santa has a fake one ♪ 1234 00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:38,075 ♪ I'm not saying that a real tree ain't fun ♪ 1235 00:50:38,110 --> 00:50:41,445 ♪ but this year I'm going with a fake ♪ 1236 00:50:41,522 --> 00:50:43,688 ♪ don't judge, son 1237 00:50:43,766 --> 00:50:45,398 All right, I'm getting a fake tree this year, it's settled. 1238 00:50:46,769 --> 00:50:48,026 Thank you for helping me with that. 1239 00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:52,106 Well! 1240 00:50:52,141 --> 00:50:56,143 Wasn't that a triumphant return to our stage? 1241 00:50:56,220 --> 00:50:58,304 Mr. Mike baxter! 1242 00:50:58,380 --> 00:51:01,390 - Mike, what's new? - Hey, I just got off stage. 1243 00:51:01,467 --> 00:51:04,301 Oh, man! It felt so good to be back. 1244 00:51:04,378 --> 00:51:05,877 Excellent. I'm actually on my way 1245 00:51:05,955 --> 00:51:07,487 To a christmas party tonight, but I wanted to tell you 1246 00:51:07,564 --> 00:51:10,340 The vids you sent me are catching fire! 1247 00:51:10,418 --> 00:51:13,218 Oh, that's great, but this... This felt right. 1248 00:51:13,296 --> 00:51:17,731 You know, I think we should start a tour, maybe a special. 1249 00:51:17,808 --> 00:51:19,891 Sure. After you land rooster, 1250 00:51:19,969 --> 00:51:21,910 Then you have carte blanche in hollywood. 1251 00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:23,821 Well, right, but I may not get it. 1252 00:51:23,897 --> 00:51:26,932 Well, my buddy told me that harlow studio execs 1253 00:51:27,009 --> 00:51:28,459 Love that you're mingling with the people, 1254 00:51:28,494 --> 00:51:29,993 Doing your christmas thing. 1255 00:51:30,070 --> 00:51:31,979 I think you got it in the bag. 1256 00:51:32,014 --> 00:51:34,381 So, let's land this movie, then talk about stand-up. 1257 00:51:34,416 --> 00:51:36,767 Do you think this is the right fit for me? 1258 00:51:36,843 --> 00:51:39,269 What if rooster man is just another bad move? 1259 00:51:39,304 --> 00:51:42,606 You know, I can't afford another swing and miss like that. 1260 00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:44,416 Stop, stop. You're being paranoid, okay? 1261 00:51:44,493 --> 00:51:47,169 You're bigger than stand-up. This is our way back to the top. 1262 00:51:47,246 --> 00:51:48,270 Don't blow it. 1263 00:51:48,347 --> 00:51:50,146 I just want to connect to people again 1264 00:51:50,148 --> 00:51:51,790 In a real way. 1265 00:51:51,792 --> 00:51:53,784 And you will... In imax. 1266 00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:55,069 Listen, I gotta go, okay? 1267 00:51:55,104 --> 00:51:57,271 But I'm really happy you had a good time tonight. 1268 00:51:57,306 --> 00:51:58,589 I will keep you posted 1269 00:51:58,699 --> 00:51:59,940 With everything to do with the studio. 1270 00:52:00,017 --> 00:52:01,516 You are so close. 1271 00:52:01,594 --> 00:52:03,768 It's so close, mike, okay? 1272 00:52:03,846 --> 00:52:05,596 I gotta go. Talk soon. 1273 00:52:05,631 --> 00:52:07,289 Talk soon. 1274 00:52:15,049 --> 00:52:17,842 You know, one time I bombed so badly, 1275 00:52:17,877 --> 00:52:22,946 The next guy up passed around a hat to start my relocation fund. 1276 00:52:22,948 --> 00:52:25,224 I made more money that night than I did the whole month. 1277 00:52:27,127 --> 00:52:30,904 I got laughs with the same jokes at a club last night. 1278 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:34,132 Look, there's no substitution for stage time. 1279 00:52:34,210 --> 00:52:36,635 And just keep having fun, you know, 1280 00:52:36,712 --> 00:52:38,412 Regardless of how they're reacting, 1281 00:52:38,488 --> 00:52:39,730 And they're gonna wanna join in. 1282 00:52:39,806 --> 00:52:44,451 Ah, it's great advice. Thanks. I appreciate it. 1283 00:52:44,486 --> 00:52:46,670 You're a legend, mike baxter. 1284 00:52:46,705 --> 00:52:47,921 Oh, stop it. 1285 00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,248 Hey, chin up, it only gets harder. 1286 00:52:49,325 --> 00:52:50,791 Ha! 1287 00:52:54,196 --> 00:52:55,820 Look at you. 1288 00:52:55,898 --> 00:52:58,006 You were great tonight. You killed it. 1289 00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,884 Thank you, thank you. It felt great; 1290 00:52:59,919 --> 00:53:02,753 The happiest I've felt in a long time. 1291 00:53:02,829 --> 00:53:06,223 You know, some people even like to smile when they're happy. 1292 00:53:07,684 --> 00:53:08,926 okay, 1293 00:53:08,961 --> 00:53:12,729 My agent thinks I need to focus on acting, not stand-up. 1294 00:53:12,731 --> 00:53:15,916 Maybe you should just focus on what makes you happy. 1295 00:53:15,951 --> 00:53:19,420 He said if I get the part, I'll have carte blanche. 1296 00:53:19,455 --> 00:53:21,155 I was too embarrassed to tell him 1297 00:53:21,190 --> 00:53:23,190 I don't actually speak french. 1298 00:53:23,225 --> 00:53:24,699 Yeah, I'm sure you will, 1299 00:53:24,777 --> 00:53:26,552 Right after the sequel, the crossover, 1300 00:53:26,628 --> 00:53:28,429 And the reboot where you pass the torch on 1301 00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:30,889 To a much younger, much more bankable rooster. 1302 00:53:30,891 --> 00:53:33,751 Mm. Mm-hmm. Much younger, better. Mm-hmm. 1303 00:53:33,753 --> 00:53:36,854 You know, this christmas, I feel... 1304 00:53:36,889 --> 00:53:40,925 More alive than I have for the last five years. 1305 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,310 Why is that? 1306 00:53:43,387 --> 00:53:45,629 Well, a wise man once told me 1307 00:53:45,706 --> 00:53:49,183 That christmas gives you exactly what you need. 1308 00:53:49,218 --> 00:53:52,102 So, pay attention. 1309 00:53:52,137 --> 00:53:56,623 What if I fall on my face? What if I fail? 1310 00:53:56,658 --> 00:53:58,275 Well, the comedy club is actually hiring a janitor. 1311 00:53:58,310 --> 00:54:02,279 We don't offer benefits, but you can get any show for free. 1312 00:54:03,248 --> 00:54:05,199 Laughing is so easy with you. 1313 00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:08,560 Well, I'm happy to help. 1314 00:54:08,637 --> 00:54:12,306 Now, chin up because it only gets harder. 1315 00:54:12,341 --> 00:54:14,241 - Chin up, that was my line. 1316 00:54:14,318 --> 00:54:15,626 - Yeah. - With jeremy. 1317 00:54:15,661 --> 00:54:17,094 You just stole my line. 1318 00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:19,171 - Yeah, that's the whole point. - I just said that. 1319 00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:29,748 - Hey. - Hey. 1320 00:54:29,825 --> 00:54:31,141 - Got you an omelet. - Awesome. 1321 00:54:31,176 --> 00:54:32,977 I haven't had a chance to eat breakfast yet. 1322 00:54:33,012 --> 00:54:34,511 - How much? - It's on me. 1323 00:54:34,588 --> 00:54:37,347 Ian, I signed your paychecks, I know how much you make. 1324 00:54:37,424 --> 00:54:40,350 It's fine. Tickets are at a standstill for the show. 1325 00:54:40,427 --> 00:54:42,344 Even after mike's performance last night. 1326 00:54:42,421 --> 00:54:44,154 I know, but we don't have an act big enough to entice people 1327 00:54:44,189 --> 00:54:46,006 To leave their homes on christmas eve. 1328 00:54:46,008 --> 00:54:48,942 Honestly, everyone wants to know if mike will be there. 1329 00:54:48,977 --> 00:54:50,460 I do too. 1330 00:54:50,462 --> 00:54:53,104 Bella's coming. Just don't mention anything. 1331 00:54:53,182 --> 00:54:54,681 Hi. 1332 00:54:54,716 --> 00:54:56,624 How about last night? 1333 00:54:56,626 --> 00:54:59,369 We got more hearts on our post than ever. 1334 00:54:59,522 --> 00:55:01,171 That's amazing. 1335 00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:02,238 I was thinking, 1336 00:55:02,316 --> 00:55:04,115 We should give some hot chocolate 1337 00:55:04,193 --> 00:55:07,552 To the people in the standby line-up when we sell out. 1338 00:55:07,630 --> 00:55:10,714 What? For eight, ten bucks a cup? 1339 00:55:10,791 --> 00:55:13,058 We will have to get them to line up in the back, 1340 00:55:13,135 --> 00:55:15,677 Out in the alley, because the front 1341 00:55:15,679 --> 00:55:17,646 Is going to be vip only. 1342 00:55:17,723 --> 00:55:19,164 Vip? 1343 00:55:19,241 --> 00:55:22,126 Casting agents and network execs and directors. 1344 00:55:22,161 --> 00:55:27,164 Oh, they're starting to swarm like sharks and I, 1345 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:30,016 Bella, am finally the chum. 1346 00:55:30,094 --> 00:55:31,952 Ah, that's amazing. 1347 00:55:31,987 --> 00:55:33,929 look, 1348 00:55:34,006 --> 00:55:35,989 This variety show is so important. 1349 00:55:36,024 --> 00:55:40,677 We've got to impress these people or else, we're finished. 1350 00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,146 We don't want that. 1351 00:55:42,181 --> 00:55:44,431 So, tell me you have this aubri. 1352 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,266 yes, I will take care of it. 1353 00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:49,844 It's new york. 1354 00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:51,179 Ah, new york. 1355 00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:53,440 This variety show, it could really change my-- 1356 00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:54,741 Our career. 1357 00:55:54,743 --> 00:55:56,743 Yeah. 1358 00:55:56,778 --> 00:55:58,336 I'll see you both later. 1359 00:55:58,414 --> 00:55:59,854 Not if I see you first. 1360 00:55:59,856 --> 00:56:03,858 he slays me. 1361 00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,319 Oh! 1362 00:56:07,789 --> 00:56:10,424 - What am I going to do? - You know what to do. 1363 00:56:10,459 --> 00:56:11,742 Give the people what they want. 1364 00:56:11,777 --> 00:56:14,686 I can't. No. Mike has enough on his plate. 1365 00:56:14,763 --> 00:56:17,272 Just ask him. He's into you. 1366 00:56:17,349 --> 00:56:19,208 You think he's into me? 1367 00:56:19,284 --> 00:56:22,385 No. No, every celebrity wants to spend their vacation 1368 00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:25,530 Handing out cookies in a costume. 1369 00:56:25,608 --> 00:56:27,941 Don't tell me you're not into him. 1370 00:56:27,976 --> 00:56:31,478 'kay, maybe I'm just a little into him. 1371 00:56:31,555 --> 00:56:32,812 I love you, cuz. 1372 00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:35,649 But waiting for what you want to find you is... 1373 00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:37,801 A waste. 1374 00:56:37,878 --> 00:56:39,786 You need to stop hiding behind bella. 1375 00:56:39,821 --> 00:56:40,938 Take charge; 1376 00:56:40,973 --> 00:56:45,359 Could change your life and sell tickets. 1377 00:56:45,394 --> 00:56:46,527 Okay! 1378 00:56:46,562 --> 00:56:48,411 - I will go for him. - Yes! 1379 00:56:48,488 --> 00:56:50,580 Professionally. 1380 00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:51,831 Sure. 1381 00:56:51,908 --> 00:56:53,075 Oh, I put the drinks 1382 00:56:53,152 --> 00:56:54,751 And the omelet on the company card. 1383 00:56:54,786 --> 00:56:57,204 - I hope that's okay. - Yes. 1384 00:57:07,741 --> 00:57:09,741 Seeing aubri? 1385 00:57:09,818 --> 00:57:10,984 What makes you say that? 1386 00:57:11,019 --> 00:57:12,919 Since when do you wear cologne? 1387 00:57:12,954 --> 00:57:15,431 I always wear cologne. 1388 00:57:15,507 --> 00:57:17,141 Too much? 1389 00:57:17,176 --> 00:57:19,100 I have seen you take a nap backstage 1390 00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:21,645 20 minutes before a sketch with obama. 1391 00:57:23,682 --> 00:57:25,089 How are you nervous now? 1392 00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:26,650 She's great. I mean, she... 1393 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,260 we have so much fun together. 1394 00:57:29,338 --> 00:57:33,490 She sees things in me I didn't know anyone else could. 1395 00:57:33,525 --> 00:57:35,008 Good. 1396 00:57:35,043 --> 00:57:37,285 Show her who you really are, 1397 00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:39,879 Not some shameless, non-committal bachelor 1398 00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:42,833 Those gossip blogs make you out to be. 1399 00:57:42,868 --> 00:57:45,185 It's their words, not mine. 1400 00:57:45,220 --> 00:57:46,720 I appreciate you, steph. 1401 00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:48,613 You know that? 1402 00:57:48,691 --> 00:57:49,881 I know you do. 1403 00:57:49,883 --> 00:57:51,275 Now, don't screw this up. 1404 00:57:51,310 --> 00:57:52,467 Right. 1405 00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:53,927 Bring her something nice. 1406 00:57:55,714 --> 00:57:57,564 okay. 1407 00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:59,716 Nice, 1408 00:57:59,793 --> 00:58:01,351 Not expensive. 1409 00:58:01,386 --> 00:58:03,437 Right. 1410 00:58:08,301 --> 00:58:10,151 - Hey. - Hey. 1411 00:58:10,153 --> 00:58:13,322 Sorry I'm late. I was walking over and saw this in a window. 1412 00:58:14,391 --> 00:58:17,050 It's beautiful. 1413 00:58:17,085 --> 00:58:19,219 To remind you of how you killed it at the tree lighting. 1414 00:58:19,254 --> 00:58:20,995 It's a well-made item and it reminded me of you. 1415 00:58:20,997 --> 00:58:22,088 I love it. 1416 00:58:22,090 --> 00:58:25,209 Shut up. 1417 00:58:25,244 --> 00:58:26,760 - Shall we? - Yeah. 1418 00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:30,013 Come on. Oh, it's a microphone, by the way. 1419 00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:32,249 It's because you're an amazing singer. 1420 00:58:32,325 --> 00:58:35,618 Wow. Beautiful. 1421 00:58:35,696 --> 00:58:38,055 Nice change of pace from a comedy club. 1422 00:58:38,090 --> 00:58:40,557 I'm really glad you came and not just tonight, 1423 00:58:40,592 --> 00:58:43,894 But to the comedy club. 1424 00:58:43,929 --> 00:58:46,596 You've made this christmas pretty fun. 1425 00:58:46,673 --> 00:58:48,448 - Oh, yeah? - You know that? Yeah. 1426 00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:49,733 Okay, maybe I should get you an ornament, 1427 00:58:49,768 --> 00:58:51,192 So you won't forget it. 1428 00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:53,861 Ooh, I wonder where I can get one 1429 00:58:53,863 --> 00:58:56,289 With a mob of children bringing a grown man to tears. 1430 00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,258 Don't worry, it's gonna haunt my dreams... 1431 00:58:58,293 --> 00:59:00,351 - Mine, too. - ...For a very long time. 1432 00:59:00,429 --> 00:59:02,962 And besides, who says I want to go back? 1433 00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:04,522 What are you going to do here? 1434 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,433 As long bella's around, I cannot promise you safety. 1435 00:59:06,468 --> 00:59:09,210 Oh, that's a very good point. I could open up a b&b. 1436 00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:12,939 'b' for the iron bars I will install on all the windows. 1437 00:59:12,974 --> 00:59:14,591 Of course. 1438 00:59:14,626 --> 00:59:17,310 But yeah, it sounds perfect for when you retire. 1439 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:20,596 Let's not forget you have a movie career. 1440 00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:26,770 It's been really awesome being on stage again. 1441 00:59:26,805 --> 00:59:29,472 You know, near people that are important to me. 1442 00:59:29,549 --> 00:59:31,775 Well, then, that's where you belong. 1443 00:59:31,810 --> 00:59:35,995 It'll make a lot of people really mad. 1444 00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:39,390 I think it would make a lot more people happy. 1445 00:59:39,468 --> 00:59:42,953 Are you one of those people? 1446 00:59:42,988 --> 00:59:45,672 I just want what's best for you. 1447 00:59:45,749 --> 00:59:49,417 Most people want something from me, 1448 00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:50,902 Not you. 1449 00:59:50,979 --> 00:59:53,087 Can I be honest? 1450 00:59:53,089 --> 00:59:54,497 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 1451 00:59:54,574 --> 00:59:56,883 Okay, I'm just gonna get it out. 1452 00:59:56,918 --> 01:00:00,520 The social media storm is attracting a lot of attention, 1453 01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:03,473 A ton of industry people are coming to the variety show. 1454 01:00:03,508 --> 01:00:05,008 Yeah, yeah. No, it's great. 1455 01:00:05,085 --> 01:00:06,476 I think my agent's flying in with some. 1456 01:00:06,511 --> 01:00:09,496 Yeah, but we have a ton of industry people 1457 01:00:09,531 --> 01:00:11,998 And no locals to laugh, clap, or just enjoy the fun. 1458 01:00:12,033 --> 01:00:14,851 And well, if I have a half-empty room, 1459 01:00:14,928 --> 01:00:16,519 Then bella's career is finished, 1460 01:00:16,672 --> 01:00:19,856 And then mine just goes down the drain with hers. 1461 01:00:19,933 --> 01:00:23,601 The tickets aren't selling, and we really need a headliner, 1462 01:00:23,679 --> 01:00:25,286 And lot of people are asking about you. 1463 01:00:25,288 --> 01:00:27,046 And would you just please make my christmas wish? 1464 01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:28,623 Yes. Yes. Of course. 1465 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:29,891 - Really? - Yes. 1466 01:00:29,968 --> 01:00:31,317 It would be my pleasure. 1467 01:00:31,395 --> 01:00:34,871 So, can bella announce it at the snowball social tonight? 1468 01:00:34,873 --> 01:00:36,447 I have your word? 1469 01:00:36,525 --> 01:00:38,633 Because if the audience start rioting, 1470 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,861 Then I'm actually bella's designated human shield. 1471 01:00:40,896 --> 01:00:42,220 - Let's go sell some tickets. - Yeah. Okay. 1472 01:00:42,297 --> 01:00:43,846 Yeah. I didn't think-- 1473 01:00:43,924 --> 01:00:46,475 Come on. Let's do it. For the snowball social! 1474 01:00:49,888 --> 01:00:53,907 ♪ that christmas time feeling 1475 01:00:53,909 --> 01:00:55,859 ♪ with family all around 1476 01:00:55,894 --> 01:00:57,318 ♪ sleigh bells and the sound 1477 01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:59,087 Hi there, nutcracker. 1478 01:00:59,164 --> 01:01:01,113 You look beautiful. 1479 01:01:01,115 --> 01:01:05,051 Thank you. And a reward for the compliment. 1480 01:01:05,053 --> 01:01:07,086 She comes at a price. What is this? 1481 01:01:07,163 --> 01:01:08,722 - A walnut for you. - What? 1482 01:01:08,757 --> 01:01:11,415 For me? Oh, my-- thank you so much for this. 1483 01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:12,742 Do you want me to eat this right now? 1484 01:01:12,819 --> 01:01:14,502 You do. I just crack them. 1485 01:01:14,504 --> 01:01:16,003 Well, actually, it turns out 1486 01:01:16,005 --> 01:01:17,381 Walnuts are really tough to crack. 1487 01:01:17,416 --> 01:01:19,849 Right. That makes sense. 1488 01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,251 And who are you supposed to be? 1489 01:01:21,327 --> 01:01:23,069 Jack frost, baby. 1490 01:01:23,104 --> 01:01:26,013 Handsome. 1491 01:01:26,015 --> 01:01:27,349 Not as functional as a nutcracker. 1492 01:01:27,426 --> 01:01:29,192 A nutcracker. Obviously. 1493 01:01:29,269 --> 01:01:30,860 - But very handsome. - Thank you. 1494 01:01:30,937 --> 01:01:32,445 - Aubri? - Oh. 1495 01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,564 - Looks like I got to-- - your elf needs some help. 1496 01:01:34,599 --> 01:01:37,401 I got an elf to attend to. Okay. 1497 01:01:39,512 --> 01:01:40,845 Well? 1498 01:01:40,923 --> 01:01:44,123 I thought you were supposed to wear a costume. 1499 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:45,759 Oh. Ha-ha. What'd he say? 1500 01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,035 He said yes. 1501 01:01:48,037 --> 01:01:49,871 He's going to headline. 1502 01:01:51,024 --> 01:01:53,775 Huh? 1503 01:01:53,852 --> 01:01:55,535 What if he said no? 1504 01:01:55,612 --> 01:01:58,621 I put it on the company card. 1505 01:01:58,623 --> 01:02:02,225 Ooh. I should probably find bella so she can announce. 1506 01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,811 Oh. She actually texted me saying she's running late. 1507 01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:07,371 She also asked me to save her a slow dance. 1508 01:02:08,633 --> 01:02:10,149 Think I learned my lesson about encouraging older women. 1509 01:02:10,226 --> 01:02:12,118 Why is mike baxter in a costume? 1510 01:02:12,153 --> 01:02:15,146 Is it true? Is mike baxter headlining the variety show? 1511 01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:16,406 - I hope that's okay. - Okay? 1512 01:02:16,482 --> 01:02:18,041 I was about to give away free tickets 1513 01:02:18,076 --> 01:02:19,943 To the assisted living facility. 1514 01:02:19,978 --> 01:02:21,494 We'll announce it right before 1515 01:02:21,571 --> 01:02:23,296 The couples' snowball spotlight dance. Thank you. 1516 01:02:23,331 --> 01:02:26,508 Well, I should probably help ian. 1517 01:02:26,585 --> 01:02:29,469 Yeah, yeah. 'cause simple addition does hurt my brain. 1518 01:02:29,504 --> 01:02:31,321 I think I'll be okay. 1519 01:02:31,397 --> 01:02:32,956 Go have fun. 1520 01:02:34,067 --> 01:02:35,917 Want to dance? 1521 01:02:45,745 --> 01:02:48,004 I think we might sell out tonight, thanks to you. 1522 01:02:48,081 --> 01:02:49,656 What are you talking about? Thanks to you. 1523 01:02:49,691 --> 01:02:52,191 Give yourself some credit. You've been working hard. 1524 01:02:52,268 --> 01:02:53,768 The comedy club belongs to bella. 1525 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:56,346 I mean, without her, I wouldn't even have a chance to write. 1526 01:02:56,422 --> 01:02:57,647 Mm-mmm. Not true. 1527 01:02:57,682 --> 01:02:59,608 You write because that's who you are. 1528 01:03:01,094 --> 01:03:02,669 But to be honest, from what I've seen, 1529 01:03:02,704 --> 01:03:05,489 You are so much more. 1530 01:03:09,177 --> 01:03:11,177 I think when bella eventually 1531 01:03:11,212 --> 01:03:13,546 Introduces me to her industry friends, 1532 01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:16,208 Then I can finally make that leap. 1533 01:03:17,686 --> 01:03:20,053 Okay. I had a mentor once who told me 1534 01:03:20,129 --> 01:03:22,113 That it's a very dangerous thing 1535 01:03:22,223 --> 01:03:26,868 To put your entire destiny in someone else's hands. 1536 01:03:26,945 --> 01:03:28,803 You don't need bella's help. 1537 01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,472 You didn't have any help? 1538 01:03:30,549 --> 01:03:34,642 You said the variety show gave you your first big break. 1539 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:35,902 A talent scout saw you. 1540 01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:37,236 Oh, he did, but he was only there 1541 01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:38,705 Because I sent him the tickets. 1542 01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:41,132 I e-mailed to make sure that he got the tickets, 1543 01:03:41,209 --> 01:03:43,317 And called repeatedly to make sure that he got the e-mail 1544 01:03:43,319 --> 01:03:44,802 To make sure that he got the tickets, 1545 01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:46,971 And I did the same thing for about 15 others. 1546 01:03:47,049 --> 01:03:48,365 One showed up. 1547 01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:49,991 - Really? - Yes. 1548 01:03:49,993 --> 01:03:51,551 - Look at you. - Mm-hmm? 1549 01:03:51,586 --> 01:03:52,886 - Still obnoxious. - Mm-hmm? 1550 01:03:52,921 --> 01:03:54,070 About to be a superhero. 1551 01:03:54,147 --> 01:03:56,831 Well, I mean, the jury is still out on that. 1552 01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,000 I won't know until after christmas. 1553 01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:00,910 And what are you doing for christmas? 1554 01:04:00,987 --> 01:04:04,171 Well, after the show, probably a very exciting night. 1555 01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:05,215 Watering my plants. 1556 01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:06,841 - Sorting my mail. - Very exciting. 1557 01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:11,604 Unless you'd want to spend christmas together. 1558 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:14,181 But it'll be your fault if my plants die. 1559 01:04:14,183 --> 01:04:15,441 Ladies and gentlemen, 1560 01:04:15,476 --> 01:04:17,610 Our couples' spotlight snowball dance 1561 01:04:17,612 --> 01:04:19,079 Is about to start. 1562 01:04:19,114 --> 01:04:21,064 But before the romance gets started, our costume friends 1563 01:04:21,099 --> 01:04:22,916 From the comedy club have a huge announcement 1564 01:04:22,951 --> 01:04:24,417 About the closing of the christmas fest. 1565 01:04:24,419 --> 01:04:25,569 You can tell me later. 1566 01:04:25,604 --> 01:04:27,194 So, I know a lot of you know 1567 01:04:27,196 --> 01:04:30,014 That we've had a special guest here over the holidays. 1568 01:04:30,092 --> 01:04:32,075 Let me get the team up from the comedy club 1569 01:04:32,110 --> 01:04:33,868 To tell us more. Uh, is bella here? 1570 01:04:33,945 --> 01:04:35,261 No, but aubri is here. 1571 01:04:35,263 --> 01:04:36,354 What? 1572 01:04:36,431 --> 01:04:38,582 Aubri wilson, come on down. 1573 01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:45,129 Hello. 1574 01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:46,873 As I'm sure some of you have noticed, 1575 01:04:46,908 --> 01:04:50,126 We've added a new headliner to our variety show. 1576 01:04:50,203 --> 01:04:51,553 Yeah? 1577 01:04:51,630 --> 01:04:54,981 So, I am pleased to announce that... 1578 01:04:55,058 --> 01:04:57,291 ...Mike baxter will be performing. 1579 01:04:58,962 --> 01:05:02,272 Thank you so much, aubri, darling. 1580 01:05:02,307 --> 01:05:05,308 Aubri, my assistant, everybody. 1581 01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:07,343 Thank you, darling. Thank you. 1582 01:05:07,421 --> 01:05:10,213 Okay. Please help me bring to the stage 1583 01:05:10,248 --> 01:05:13,991 The comedy club's superstar comic 1584 01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:15,501 And our christmas headliner, 1585 01:05:15,536 --> 01:05:17,237 Mike baxter! 1586 01:05:17,272 --> 01:05:19,747 Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. 1587 01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,958 Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. 1588 01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:25,011 Thank you. 1589 01:05:25,088 --> 01:05:28,239 Mike, we are so thrilled to have you performing, 1590 01:05:28,316 --> 01:05:30,759 And of course, I'll be hosting. The dynamic duo. 1591 01:05:30,835 --> 01:05:32,243 Right, folks? 1592 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:36,473 Okay. Now, don't forget. Pick your tickets up tonight, 1593 01:05:36,475 --> 01:05:38,642 Because we are selling out so fast. 1594 01:05:38,677 --> 01:05:39,993 Oh, yeah. 1595 01:05:40,028 --> 01:05:42,019 The hottest show in town is only three days away. 1596 01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:43,396 Please make sure you get your tickets 1597 01:05:43,431 --> 01:05:44,922 From the table in the back, 1598 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,440 And why don't we get mr. And mrs. Jack frost 1599 01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,184 To kick off this snowball spotlight dance? 1600 01:05:48,261 --> 01:05:51,570 That the ice queen to you, darling. 1601 01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:54,174 But I will accept the spotlight. 1602 01:05:54,209 --> 01:05:55,575 Mike? 1603 01:05:57,529 --> 01:05:59,079 Bella? 1604 01:06:03,718 --> 01:06:05,185 ♪ if you say 1605 01:06:05,220 --> 01:06:07,386 I'm so glad you're helping me. 1606 01:06:07,463 --> 01:06:09,964 Thanks, bella. Appreciate that. And you spin... 1607 01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:12,525 ♪ your last goodbye 1608 01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:17,547 ♪ and I knew you were going away ♪ 1609 01:06:17,623 --> 01:06:19,015 I'm not keeping you, am I? 1610 01:06:20,686 --> 01:06:23,085 - Want some good news? - Sure. 1611 01:06:23,163 --> 01:06:25,813 Tickets are sold out. The vip section is full. 1612 01:06:25,815 --> 01:06:28,374 It's going to be a packed house on christmas eve. 1613 01:06:28,409 --> 01:06:31,778 - You did it. - We did it. 1614 01:06:31,813 --> 01:06:33,671 They should get a fantastic show. 1615 01:06:33,748 --> 01:06:35,264 Tomorrow, we celebrate. 1616 01:06:35,342 --> 01:06:38,084 Oh, no. No, no, no. I have to write. 1617 01:06:38,161 --> 01:06:39,994 Christmas eve is three days away, 1618 01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:42,238 And bella is going to need jokes. 1619 01:06:42,315 --> 01:06:44,331 What about mike? 1620 01:06:45,593 --> 01:06:47,060 You know, I am going to need an opening act. 1621 01:06:47,095 --> 01:06:48,578 Jack frost and the ice queen 1622 01:06:48,654 --> 01:06:50,922 Are a better fit than the nutcracker. 1623 01:06:52,492 --> 01:06:54,217 Thank you for everything. 1624 01:07:09,543 --> 01:07:10,900 Hello? 1625 01:07:10,935 --> 01:07:13,920 Mike, you're not still out in, what was it, dakota, are you? 1626 01:07:13,955 --> 01:07:16,856 Uh, outside chicago. Our third largest city. 1627 01:07:16,933 --> 01:07:18,099 Right. Well, listen. 1628 01:07:18,176 --> 01:07:19,676 I was watching the sunrise this morning, 1629 01:07:19,711 --> 01:07:20,851 And I couldn't help but notice 1630 01:07:20,929 --> 01:07:22,787 That you weren't outside crowing. 1631 01:07:24,983 --> 01:07:26,057 What? 1632 01:07:26,134 --> 01:07:27,166 Crowing. 1633 01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:29,118 Sunrise. It's what roosters do. 1634 01:07:29,195 --> 01:07:32,029 Yes. Thank you, damon. I know. What's happening? 1635 01:07:32,107 --> 01:07:34,657 - Did I get the part? - Yes. You got it. 1636 01:07:34,734 --> 01:07:37,794 What I'm trying to say is you are officially the rooster! 1637 01:07:37,870 --> 01:07:39,803 Well, actually, I'm rooster man. 1638 01:07:39,881 --> 01:07:41,430 Exactly. Listen. They called this morning. 1639 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,082 I'm working on a deal right now. 1640 01:07:43,117 --> 01:07:46,953 But you are a man of the people. You sealed the deal! 1641 01:07:46,988 --> 01:07:48,354 Congrats. 1642 01:07:50,625 --> 01:07:52,233 Congrats. 1643 01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:54,902 Mikey, didn't you hear me? 1644 01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:56,737 Did my assistant drop the call? 'cause if he did, I swear-- 1645 01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:59,115 - Brandon! - No, no. I'm here. 1646 01:07:59,150 --> 01:08:00,675 Hey. Can I call you back? 1647 01:08:00,752 --> 01:08:03,495 I have to finish writing my act for the variety show. 1648 01:08:03,571 --> 01:08:05,622 Wait, wait, wait. You're not still performing, are you? 1649 01:08:05,657 --> 01:08:07,248 We need you back in la, asap. 1650 01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:09,066 They need to scan your feet for the prosthetics. 1651 01:08:09,144 --> 01:08:11,327 I can't. I'm headlining. 1652 01:08:11,362 --> 01:08:13,087 No, mike. You don't understand. You have to be back in la. 1653 01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:14,631 They're doing a whole song and dance 1654 01:08:14,666 --> 01:08:16,149 At one of those conventions. 1655 01:08:16,259 --> 01:08:17,925 You know, the ones where the geeks get together 1656 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:19,135 And watch trailers? 1657 01:08:19,170 --> 01:08:21,745 I just, um-- 1658 01:08:21,823 --> 01:08:24,607 I need a bit of time to think about this. 1659 01:08:24,684 --> 01:08:25,858 No. There's no time. 1660 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,251 My assistant booked you a flight christmas eve. 1661 01:08:27,329 --> 01:08:28,936 Hell send you the details. 1662 01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:31,981 - I'm committed to the club. - Mike, they will understand. 1663 01:08:32,016 --> 01:08:33,532 This is a franchise, mikey. 1664 01:08:33,609 --> 01:08:36,427 We're talking about action figures and bedsheets. 1665 01:08:36,504 --> 01:08:38,488 A whole lot of people are counting on you with this. 1666 01:08:38,523 --> 01:08:41,658 Maybe this isn't the right move for me. 1667 01:08:41,693 --> 01:08:44,010 Oh, yes, it is. Listen. 1668 01:08:44,045 --> 01:08:46,195 I will personally bring you the contract myself. 1669 01:08:46,272 --> 01:08:47,788 I'm on my way. 1670 01:08:47,790 --> 01:08:49,057 Brandon! Are you there? 1671 01:08:49,133 --> 01:08:51,942 Listen, brandon. Book me a flight out to, um-- 1672 01:08:51,944 --> 01:08:53,202 Where is this place? 1673 01:08:53,279 --> 01:08:56,022 No, damon. You really don't need to come here. 1674 01:08:56,057 --> 01:08:58,224 Listen, mikey. Listen to me. Two words, okay? 1675 01:08:58,301 --> 01:08:59,550 Whole grains. 1676 01:08:59,552 --> 01:09:00,893 - Damon-- - I'll see you soon. 1677 01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:02,762 Damon? 1678 01:09:09,904 --> 01:09:11,320 It's going to be a big night. 1679 01:09:11,355 --> 01:09:12,388 At the very least, 1680 01:09:12,465 --> 01:09:14,465 An expensive one. Bella asked for 1681 01:09:14,542 --> 01:09:15,983 Last-minute decorations. 1682 01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:19,303 But did give me my christmas bonus, so it's a wash. 1683 01:09:19,381 --> 01:09:21,906 She gave me one, too. Now, I remember why I started 1684 01:09:21,983 --> 01:09:23,900 Encouraging older women in the first place. 1685 01:09:23,976 --> 01:09:26,168 This is good stuff. 1686 01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:27,453 It can't be all for bella. 1687 01:09:27,488 --> 01:09:28,888 It's my idea book. 1688 01:09:28,923 --> 01:09:31,065 I write anything and everything in it. 1689 01:09:31,142 --> 01:09:32,976 Then you should perform it. 1690 01:09:33,011 --> 01:09:35,210 You have enough material there. 1691 01:09:35,212 --> 01:09:36,546 I'm a writer. 1692 01:09:36,548 --> 01:09:38,915 Besides, anytime I was good, mike was up there with me. 1693 01:09:38,950 --> 01:09:40,674 - Hi. - Hi. 1694 01:09:40,676 --> 01:09:43,236 I'm damon cardona. I represent mike baxter. 1695 01:09:43,271 --> 01:09:44,662 Are you the cleaning staff? 1696 01:09:44,739 --> 01:09:46,839 Among other things. You're early for the show. 1697 01:09:46,874 --> 01:09:48,541 No, I'm not here for the show. 1698 01:09:48,576 --> 01:09:50,426 I'm only here to pick up mike. Is he around? 1699 01:09:50,503 --> 01:09:51,561 Uh, picking up? 1700 01:09:51,596 --> 01:09:53,137 Yeah. I'd love to get to the o'hare 1701 01:09:53,139 --> 01:09:54,530 Before the diamond lounge fills up. 1702 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:56,048 I'm sorry. 1703 01:09:56,126 --> 01:10:00,010 I haven't talked to mike in the last day. He's leaving? 1704 01:10:00,088 --> 01:10:02,104 Oh, you guys must not read up on the trades. 1705 01:10:02,181 --> 01:10:05,091 Okay. Look, then. Mike booked rooster man. 1706 01:10:05,126 --> 01:10:07,526 So, he has to go back to la for press. 1707 01:10:07,603 --> 01:10:10,371 You know, I got to thank you, because those viral videos 1708 01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,040 Helped us cross the finish line. They were amazing. 1709 01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,617 - Hi, damon. - Ah. 1710 01:10:14,694 --> 01:10:16,469 I told you I would be here. Listen. 1711 01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:17,921 I could not let you miss an opportunity. 1712 01:10:17,956 --> 01:10:19,697 So, I have a car in the back. 1713 01:10:19,774 --> 01:10:21,307 If you hurry up, you can get that champagne service. 1714 01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:22,808 Damon, I'm going to meet you outside. 1715 01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:24,643 - Okay? - Right. 1716 01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,246 Well, good meeting you. Merry christmas. 1717 01:10:27,324 --> 01:10:31,059 And, uh, don't take too long. 1718 01:10:32,587 --> 01:10:35,813 I, uh, think I left my oven on. I'm going to-- 1719 01:10:38,910 --> 01:10:40,518 You got the part. 1720 01:10:40,595 --> 01:10:42,612 I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure about taking it. 1721 01:10:42,722 --> 01:10:45,548 Okay? I needed some time to think. 1722 01:10:45,583 --> 01:10:46,883 And did you? 1723 01:10:46,918 --> 01:10:48,651 You could have told me before damon did. 1724 01:10:48,728 --> 01:10:50,744 I needed to figure out what I was going to do first. 1725 01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:52,305 And what you figured out was leaving me here 1726 01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:54,757 Without a headliner? Just backing out at the last minute? 1727 01:10:54,834 --> 01:10:56,000 It's complicated. 1728 01:10:56,077 --> 01:10:58,378 And that's why I came over here, to tell you in person. 1729 01:10:58,413 --> 01:11:01,606 I didn't think damon was going to find you first. 1730 01:11:01,682 --> 01:11:04,275 This has been in the works for such a long time. 1731 01:11:04,385 --> 01:11:05,743 I don't have a choice. 1732 01:11:05,820 --> 01:11:07,278 You do, and you made it. 1733 01:11:07,355 --> 01:11:09,021 You don't understand. People rely on me 1734 01:11:09,098 --> 01:11:10,748 Doing this movie. 1735 01:11:10,825 --> 01:11:13,509 The studio can crush you. 1736 01:11:13,586 --> 01:11:15,561 Somebody told me that it is a dangerous thing 1737 01:11:15,563 --> 01:11:17,689 To leave your destiny in other people's hands. 1738 01:11:19,985 --> 01:11:21,359 I'm sorry. 1739 01:11:23,004 --> 01:11:24,821 Trust me. It wasn't an easy decision. 1740 01:11:26,624 --> 01:11:27,690 Listen to me. 1741 01:11:27,725 --> 01:11:29,909 You don't need me for the show. 1742 01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:32,953 Okay? You've got the talent. 1743 01:11:32,955 --> 01:11:34,955 The tickets are sold. 1744 01:11:35,033 --> 01:11:36,499 It's going to be a success no matter what. 1745 01:11:36,534 --> 01:11:39,985 Yeah. It will be a success. Thank you. 1746 01:11:40,063 --> 01:11:42,279 Aubri, this is your time. 1747 01:11:42,357 --> 01:11:46,075 And it's your time to be a hero on the big screen. 1748 01:11:46,152 --> 01:11:47,819 Congratulations. 1749 01:11:47,895 --> 01:11:49,803 Aubri, you're a star. 1750 01:11:49,805 --> 01:11:51,472 You shine on your own. 1751 01:11:53,685 --> 01:11:55,143 Merry christmas, mike. 1752 01:12:06,514 --> 01:12:08,131 We don't have a headliner now? 1753 01:12:08,166 --> 01:12:10,399 None of the acts want to replace mike. 1754 01:12:10,476 --> 01:12:12,017 He set the expectations too high. 1755 01:12:12,095 --> 01:12:14,244 Yeah. You set your expectations too high 1756 01:12:14,246 --> 01:12:16,922 When you put your faith in that... That sellout. 1757 01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,842 And how much is he making for that movie? 1758 01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:21,760 Four or five mil? 1759 01:12:21,762 --> 01:12:24,430 Okay. I have a great set. Maybe you can close. 1760 01:12:24,507 --> 01:12:27,567 Yeah, or maybe you can get that magician you hired 1761 01:12:27,602 --> 01:12:29,594 To saw me in half. 1762 01:12:31,414 --> 01:12:33,348 The crowd wants to see the headliner. 1763 01:12:33,424 --> 01:12:35,758 They're not going to happy until they do. 1764 01:12:35,793 --> 01:12:37,060 And an unhappy crowd, 1765 01:12:37,095 --> 01:12:38,260 They don't laugh. 1766 01:12:38,337 --> 01:12:39,929 What are the vips going to think? 1767 01:12:40,005 --> 01:12:44,258 Oh, I cannot believe this is happening to me again! 1768 01:12:44,335 --> 01:12:45,401 Bella, they're your friends. 1769 01:12:45,436 --> 01:12:46,952 Friends don't forget about you. 1770 01:12:46,987 --> 01:12:48,112 Friends don't ignore your calls. 1771 01:12:48,189 --> 01:12:50,372 Friends broker your million-dollar deals, 1772 01:12:50,449 --> 01:12:52,975 Not advertisements for battery acid 1773 01:12:53,052 --> 01:12:55,286 Thinly disguised as soda pop. 1774 01:12:57,465 --> 01:13:00,966 Looks like we're going to crash and burn together. 1775 01:13:01,043 --> 01:13:02,960 And you don't deserve that, aubri. 1776 01:13:04,622 --> 01:13:06,089 I'll do it. 1777 01:13:06,124 --> 01:13:07,973 What, crash and burn? 1778 01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:09,442 I just said we'll do it together. 1779 01:13:09,477 --> 01:13:10,693 Headline. 1780 01:13:10,728 --> 01:13:12,594 The people in town, they've seen me perform. 1781 01:13:12,672 --> 01:13:13,846 I have a ton of followers. 1782 01:13:13,881 --> 01:13:15,564 And I got us in this situation, 1783 01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,158 And I'm going to get us out of it. 1784 01:13:17,235 --> 01:13:20,219 Honey, they're not going to be a very forgiving crowd. 1785 01:13:20,296 --> 01:13:24,357 I am not going to let them break me, okay? I will do it. 1786 01:13:24,392 --> 01:13:26,900 Okay. I'm just going to tell you, 1787 01:13:26,902 --> 01:13:30,229 As much as I want to see you succeed out there, 1788 01:13:30,264 --> 01:13:31,564 Just as much I don't want you to, 1789 01:13:31,674 --> 01:13:33,666 Because I don't want to lose you. 1790 01:13:33,742 --> 01:13:35,151 Impossible. 1791 01:13:35,227 --> 01:13:36,910 As if you could ever lose me. 1792 01:13:36,912 --> 01:13:38,871 I'm only here because of you, and... 1793 01:13:40,417 --> 01:13:42,666 ...You'll always be home to me, bella. 1794 01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:44,243 You're brave. 1795 01:13:44,395 --> 01:13:48,414 Aubri, you belong on center stage. 1796 01:13:48,491 --> 01:13:51,600 I want you to go out there and claim it. 1797 01:13:54,239 --> 01:13:56,197 Five minutes till show time. 1798 01:13:56,274 --> 01:14:00,393 Oh. There she is. The star that saved christmas. 1799 01:14:02,254 --> 01:14:04,397 And you? You're the little dipper. 1800 01:14:06,534 --> 01:14:07,941 Does that mean-- 1801 01:14:07,943 --> 01:14:09,276 I-- 1802 01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:13,105 I, uh, think I may have just blacked out. 1803 01:14:13,182 --> 01:14:14,490 Ooh. Okay. Uh-- 1804 01:14:20,114 --> 01:14:21,864 Can you stop celebrating so loudly? 1805 01:14:21,866 --> 01:14:24,417 The girls are trying to take a nap. 1806 01:14:26,704 --> 01:14:29,538 I thought a comeback would make me happy. 1807 01:14:29,615 --> 01:14:31,198 But christmas eve, having to leave you 1808 01:14:31,276 --> 01:14:33,134 And the girls, and-- 1809 01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:39,131 Look. You know me. I wouldn't do this 1810 01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,466 If I didn't have a choice. 1811 01:14:40,543 --> 01:14:42,393 But you do. 1812 01:14:44,189 --> 01:14:45,521 Well, you always have a choice. 1813 01:14:45,556 --> 01:14:47,814 I'm proud of you no matter what you do. 1814 01:14:47,816 --> 01:14:49,725 I just want you to be happy. 1815 01:14:51,395 --> 01:14:53,987 Ah, forgive me for saying this, but I do not like that man. 1816 01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:56,323 Yeah. That makes two of us. 1817 01:14:58,811 --> 01:15:01,487 I'm so proud of you. 1818 01:15:01,598 --> 01:15:03,906 - I love you. - I love you. 1819 01:15:03,941 --> 01:15:06,267 Go follow your heart. 1820 01:15:08,362 --> 01:15:11,005 Or whatever you have to do to make that man leave. 1821 01:15:15,853 --> 01:15:18,087 So, they've already sent some pr briefs. 1822 01:15:18,163 --> 01:15:20,681 So, if anyone asks, you've read the comics your whole life 1823 01:15:20,683 --> 01:15:22,558 And you can sleep in a chicken coop. 1824 01:15:24,512 --> 01:15:25,444 Okay? 1825 01:15:25,446 --> 01:15:27,980 Damon, when do I get to be myself? 1826 01:15:29,417 --> 01:15:32,268 This is yourself, only richer and hire-able. 1827 01:15:36,115 --> 01:15:37,240 What is that? 1828 01:15:37,242 --> 01:15:41,034 Are those-- 1829 01:15:41,036 --> 01:15:43,079 - Hey. It's not a-- - let me see. What is this? 1830 01:15:43,114 --> 01:15:45,614 Mikey, I said whole grains. 1831 01:15:45,691 --> 01:15:47,917 I wasn't going to eat the whole thing. 1832 01:15:48,936 --> 01:15:51,128 Here. Have some walnuts. 1833 01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:59,845 Okay. You know what? You don't want the walnuts? 1834 01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:01,038 You don't like them? 1835 01:16:01,115 --> 01:16:02,556 How about this? 1836 01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:04,450 We can get you something else at the airport, okay? 1837 01:16:04,485 --> 01:16:05,834 I don't need to come back on top. 1838 01:16:05,912 --> 01:16:07,386 I don't. 1839 01:16:07,421 --> 01:16:11,506 I want to make people happy again, in my own way. 1840 01:16:11,584 --> 01:16:12,825 Take these and have these. 1841 01:16:12,827 --> 01:16:14,176 We can put the abs on you in post. 1842 01:16:14,253 --> 01:16:16,045 - No. Damon-- - you can eat whatever you want. 1843 01:16:16,080 --> 01:16:18,447 Damon, I got to follow my heart. Listen to me. 1844 01:16:18,482 --> 01:16:21,725 We're going to make this living a very happy and lucrative one. 1845 01:16:21,803 --> 01:16:24,820 Okay? Trust me. Stop the car, please. 1846 01:16:24,897 --> 01:16:26,138 No, no, no. Don't stop the car. 1847 01:16:26,173 --> 01:16:28,583 Please don't do this. It's christmas. 1848 01:16:28,659 --> 01:16:30,101 We're talking action figures, mikey. 1849 01:16:30,177 --> 01:16:31,544 Excuse me. Stop the car. 1850 01:16:33,831 --> 01:16:35,547 Just drive. 1851 01:16:35,625 --> 01:16:37,182 Action figures, mikey. Bedsheets. 1852 01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:38,301 Stop the car. 1853 01:16:38,336 --> 01:16:41,762 Damon... Eat a pastry. 1854 01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,014 Mike, don't do this. 1855 01:16:43,090 --> 01:16:45,641 Trust me. 1856 01:16:50,431 --> 01:16:52,598 I have been naughty all year, 1857 01:16:52,633 --> 01:16:54,867 Just to save poor santa the trip. 1858 01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:58,762 But really, it's a wonderful life, isn't it, folks? 1859 01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:01,690 And we've been blessed this year with a white christmas. 1860 01:17:01,767 --> 01:17:04,276 And we're not home alone. We're all here together, 1861 01:17:04,353 --> 01:17:07,446 With a great christmas, warm spirit, 1862 01:17:07,481 --> 01:17:11,458 Ready to enjoy the first christmas variety concert 1863 01:17:11,460 --> 01:17:13,586 That the comedy club has put on in years. 1864 01:17:13,621 --> 01:17:17,723 yes, yes! 1865 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,641 Okay. 1866 01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:20,701 You got this, cuz. 1867 01:17:20,778 --> 01:17:22,561 Yeah. They're either going to love me 1868 01:17:22,638 --> 01:17:25,455 Or they're going to hate me. Oh, they're going to hate me. 1869 01:17:25,533 --> 01:17:27,783 They're going to love you. 1870 01:17:27,818 --> 01:17:29,034 This is your destiny. 1871 01:17:29,069 --> 01:17:30,552 I knew it back then in the tree house, 1872 01:17:30,587 --> 01:17:32,170 And I know it now. 1873 01:17:32,248 --> 01:17:35,173 So, get out there and make them laugh on christmas. 1874 01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:37,175 Get ready for a big christmas surprise. 1875 01:17:37,177 --> 01:17:40,111 Now, please, put your hands together 1876 01:17:40,113 --> 01:17:43,549 And help me welcome to the stage our very own funny lady, 1877 01:17:43,584 --> 01:17:46,243 The real queen of christmas... 1878 01:17:46,245 --> 01:17:48,311 Are you ready to drop the curtain if I faint? Please. 1879 01:17:48,389 --> 01:17:50,706 ...Aubri wilson. Aubri? 1880 01:17:52,167 --> 01:17:53,392 Get up here. 1881 01:17:58,416 --> 01:18:02,918 We are going to have "snow" much fun. 1882 01:18:02,995 --> 01:18:04,845 Get up here and slay them. 1883 01:18:07,425 --> 01:18:10,000 This is the nicest she has ever been to me. 1884 01:18:10,077 --> 01:18:12,143 I don't know what was in that eggnog. 1885 01:18:13,338 --> 01:18:15,338 Hello, hello! 1886 01:18:15,416 --> 01:18:17,416 Let's give it up for bella deldomino. Yes. 1887 01:18:17,451 --> 01:18:19,117 Thank you. 1888 01:18:19,194 --> 01:18:20,569 Full house tonight. 1889 01:18:20,571 --> 01:18:24,014 Wow. Um, yeah. It's here. December. I know. 1890 01:18:24,091 --> 01:18:28,177 Yeah. I can already sense the stress levels rising. 1891 01:18:28,212 --> 01:18:32,689 Yeah. The most wonderful time of the year. 1892 01:18:32,767 --> 01:18:34,124 You know, when all your loved ones 1893 01:18:34,126 --> 01:18:37,036 Are so close together under one roof. 1894 01:18:38,530 --> 01:18:40,138 You know, it's great. I love christmas. 1895 01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:41,257 It is my favorite holiday. 1896 01:18:41,292 --> 01:18:42,942 And of course, I love my mother. 1897 01:18:42,944 --> 01:18:44,209 Okay? 1898 01:18:44,286 --> 01:18:47,537 Yes, she makes my life a little difficult at times. 1899 01:18:47,615 --> 01:18:49,265 There's one thing about her 1900 01:18:49,300 --> 01:18:51,450 That just really grinds my gears, and that is that 1901 01:18:51,485 --> 01:18:54,903 This angel woman is just impossible to buy presents for. 1902 01:18:54,980 --> 01:18:57,106 So, this year, I just gave up. 1903 01:18:57,141 --> 01:18:58,916 I said, "mother, please just tell me 1904 01:18:58,993 --> 01:19:01,569 What you want for christmas, and I will just buy it for you." 1905 01:19:01,645 --> 01:19:03,170 She finally told me, but you know, 1906 01:19:03,172 --> 01:19:06,398 I can't for the life me find it anywhere. 1907 01:19:06,433 --> 01:19:07,741 So, if any of you know 1908 01:19:07,818 --> 01:19:10,736 Where I can find better health insurance, 1909 01:19:10,813 --> 01:19:13,213 Please see me after the show. 1910 01:19:15,509 --> 01:19:16,809 Yeah. 1911 01:19:16,811 --> 01:19:18,644 I mean, have you ever looked at your insurance policy? 1912 01:19:18,646 --> 01:19:21,254 I mean, those things, they are longer than a christmas carol. 1913 01:19:21,256 --> 01:19:22,923 You are in trouble. I mean, it's madness. 1914 01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:27,019 It's like trying to decipher an ancient scroll. 1915 01:19:27,095 --> 01:19:28,687 Anyways, I didn't give up, 1916 01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,990 Because I am a very good daughter. 1917 01:19:31,025 --> 01:19:32,599 So, I just kept looking 1918 01:19:32,601 --> 01:19:33,809 Here and there. 1919 01:19:33,844 --> 01:19:35,260 I looked so hard that I actually... 1920 01:19:36,614 --> 01:19:39,064 ...Ended up spraining my ankle looking for it. 1921 01:19:39,099 --> 01:19:40,849 - Oh, no. - Or at least I think I did. 1922 01:19:40,926 --> 01:19:43,844 I was too afraid to go to the hospital to find out. 1923 01:19:58,536 --> 01:20:00,085 Mike baxter. 1924 01:20:06,694 --> 01:20:09,553 Too hard. Um... 1925 01:20:11,181 --> 01:20:13,015 Mike baxter. 1926 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:18,479 You came back. Why? 1927 01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:25,243 I realized the only comeback I care about 1928 01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:27,229 Is to the one person that matters to me. 1929 01:20:27,306 --> 01:20:29,882 Aw. 1930 01:20:37,892 --> 01:20:39,408 I also had some last-minute shopping to do. 1931 01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,744 Ah. There it is. Yes. 1932 01:20:41,779 --> 01:20:43,845 Your typical male to-do list. 1933 01:20:43,922 --> 01:20:46,649 Finish task that should've been done weeks ago, 1934 01:20:46,684 --> 01:20:49,884 And interrupt woman getting more attention than you. 1935 01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:56,850 Thank you so much, everybody. Merry christmas! 1936 01:20:59,813 --> 01:21:02,022 Encore! Encore! 1937 01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:05,434 Encore! Encore! Encore! 1938 01:21:05,510 --> 01:21:07,527 Encore! Encore! 1939 01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:10,239 Hey. Um, you know what? Come on up and join me here on stage. 1940 01:21:10,274 --> 01:21:12,015 You want me to come on stage right now? 1941 01:21:12,093 --> 01:21:13,242 Yeah. Come and join me. 1942 01:21:15,012 --> 01:21:16,829 Yo. 1943 01:21:20,034 --> 01:21:23,502 Woo-hoo! 1944 01:21:24,588 --> 01:21:26,088 I've got some notes. 1945 01:21:26,123 --> 01:21:29,758 Yeah? Did you learn anything? 1946 01:21:29,793 --> 01:21:31,384 What I want most for christmas? 1947 01:21:31,386 --> 01:21:32,928 An apology. 1948 01:21:34,539 --> 01:21:37,282 I made a huge mistake. 1949 01:21:37,317 --> 01:21:38,767 I'm sorry. 1950 01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:43,063 Yeah. Well, you're a big action superhero now, 1951 01:21:43,140 --> 01:21:44,373 So I'm sure after your first check, 1952 01:21:44,408 --> 01:21:45,991 You'll just forget all about me. 1953 01:21:45,993 --> 01:21:47,217 I passed. 1954 01:21:47,294 --> 01:21:51,405 I want to be here, laughing with you. 1955 01:21:53,167 --> 01:21:55,475 If you'll have me. 1956 01:21:55,553 --> 01:21:57,161 Aw. 1957 01:22:00,899 --> 01:22:02,641 Mike baxter, everyone. 1958 01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:11,500 So, uh, for some of you that may not know, 1959 01:22:11,576 --> 01:22:13,485 He was supposed to play a chicken earlier. 1960 01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:15,220 - Rooster. It's a rooster. - Sorry. 1961 01:22:15,255 --> 01:22:17,289 Just politically correct for roosters everywhere. 1962 01:22:17,365 --> 01:22:18,390 Rooster. 1963 01:22:18,392 --> 01:22:20,142 Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause 1964 01:22:20,177 --> 01:22:24,004 For the incredible aubri wilson! Give it up. 1965 01:22:36,877 --> 01:22:38,661 Congratulations on a spectacular variety show. 1966 01:22:38,696 --> 01:22:40,103 Oh, thank you, robert. 1967 01:22:40,181 --> 01:22:42,831 Any chance you're free to join me for christmas dinner? 1968 01:22:42,866 --> 01:22:44,382 Oh, robert. 1969 01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:48,553 Oh, darling, we were never going to work out anyway. 1970 01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:51,373 You don't have children, do you, robert? 1971 01:22:51,450 --> 01:22:54,543 Hey. Execs love you, mike. 1972 01:22:54,619 --> 01:22:55,844 They're like the wise men, 1973 01:22:55,879 --> 01:22:57,470 But they're offering one-hour specials 1974 01:22:57,472 --> 01:22:59,789 Instead of sheep or whatever. You did so good! 1975 01:22:59,867 --> 01:23:01,183 Come here, man. 1976 01:23:01,218 --> 01:23:03,476 Oh! Okay. 1977 01:23:03,554 --> 01:23:05,053 And you look fantastic. 1978 01:23:05,163 --> 01:23:07,856 Damon, damon. Merry christmas. 1979 01:23:07,891 --> 01:23:10,375 Are you sure about rooster man? 1980 01:23:10,410 --> 01:23:12,802 Because I bet we could work something out 1981 01:23:12,880 --> 01:23:14,654 Right between tour dates and everything, 1982 01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:16,097 Because practically, it's shooting in cgi. 1983 01:23:16,175 --> 01:23:17,916 - So, if you're on stage and-- - aubri, aubri. 1984 01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:20,219 Damon, I'd like to introduce you to aubri wilson. 1985 01:23:20,254 --> 01:23:22,871 I think she'd make a great client for the agency. 1986 01:23:22,906 --> 01:23:24,373 Hi. 1987 01:23:24,408 --> 01:23:26,725 Nice to meet you. 1988 01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:29,486 You know, 1989 01:23:29,563 --> 01:23:31,488 I love the talk. 1990 01:23:31,565 --> 01:23:33,565 And you can have the pick of any agent you want, 1991 01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:35,825 Especially with his endorsement. 1992 01:23:35,903 --> 01:23:37,252 Thank you. I will call you. 1993 01:23:37,404 --> 01:23:38,495 Of course. 1994 01:23:38,572 --> 01:23:40,255 Looking forward to it. 1995 01:23:40,290 --> 01:23:41,447 Ah. 1996 01:23:41,449 --> 01:23:43,766 You were wonderful, darling. 1997 01:23:43,768 --> 01:23:46,778 Oh, it's just going to break my heart to lose you. 1998 01:23:46,855 --> 01:23:48,430 - Oh. - Never-- 1999 01:23:48,507 --> 01:23:49,931 Unless you decide to stay, 2000 01:23:50,008 --> 01:23:52,692 In which case, I'll just have to fire you. 2001 01:23:53,787 --> 01:23:54,903 I think if I'm going on tour, 2002 01:23:54,938 --> 01:23:57,156 I'm going to need an opening act. 2003 01:23:58,350 --> 01:24:00,959 I don't know about an opening act, mike baxter. 2004 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:03,579 I might consider co-headlining with you, or-- 2005 01:24:04,706 --> 01:24:06,114 - It's her. - Oh. 2006 01:24:06,191 --> 01:24:07,449 - I'm sorry. - Mm-hmm. 2007 01:24:07,601 --> 01:24:09,434 Oh, my goodness. 2008 01:24:09,469 --> 01:24:11,970 Well, I'm going to leave you two to discuss. 2009 01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:14,697 And remember, you'll always have a home 2010 01:24:14,699 --> 01:24:17,117 Here at the comedy club. The both of you. 2011 01:24:17,227 --> 01:24:20,279 - Thanks, bella. - What a darling couple. 2012 01:24:20,314 --> 01:24:23,307 - Oh! - Oh, bella. 2013 01:24:27,955 --> 01:24:29,170 Are you serious about going on tour? 2014 01:24:29,248 --> 01:24:31,456 Definitely. 2015 01:24:31,491 --> 01:24:32,974 You'll steal the show, 2016 01:24:33,051 --> 01:24:34,826 But it keeps me from losing you again. 2017 01:24:34,828 --> 01:24:36,311 Worth the trade-off, hmm? 2018 01:24:36,388 --> 01:24:39,214 You know, I'm not like those hollywood girls. 2019 01:24:39,249 --> 01:24:41,391 I know. 2020 01:24:41,468 --> 01:24:42,868 You're much funnier... 2021 01:24:44,229 --> 01:24:46,305 ...And you're also perfect. 2022 01:24:46,340 --> 01:24:48,757 This is the best christmas ever. 2023 01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:53,145 So, does this mean you'll wait for santa with me tonight? 2024 01:24:53,180 --> 01:24:54,420 Hmm. 2025 01:24:54,422 --> 01:24:55,847 You never answered me at the social. 2026 01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:57,132 Absolutely. 2027 01:24:57,167 --> 01:24:59,184 Merry christmas, mike baxter. 2028 01:24:59,186 --> 01:25:01,845 Merry christmas, aubri wilson. 2029 01:25:22,827 --> 01:25:26,544 All right. So, I've got one more for you. 2030 01:25:27,939 --> 01:25:30,457 - Yeah. This is a love song. - Yeah! 2031 01:25:31,902 --> 01:25:33,544 Yee-haw! 2032 01:25:35,673 --> 01:25:38,340 ♪ I really, really like you 2033 01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:40,300 ♪ I'm desperate for a kiss 2034 01:25:41,712 --> 01:25:44,971 ♪ I asked you out at a holiday party ♪ 2035 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:46,698 ♪ but something was amiss 2036 01:25:46,733 --> 01:25:49,317 ♪ you go a-lookin' over your shoulder ♪ 2037 01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,462 ♪ telling me it's time to go 2038 01:25:52,539 --> 01:25:54,981 ♪ but I looked up high and then I saw ♪ 2039 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:57,292 ♪ we're under mistletoe 2040 01:25:57,327 --> 01:25:58,568 Yes! 2041 01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:02,397 ♪ kiss me, I didn't make up the rules ♪ 2042 01:26:02,474 --> 01:26:05,491 ♪ don't you dare miss me 2043 01:26:05,493 --> 01:26:09,162 ♪ and make me feel like such a fool ♪ 2044 01:26:09,164 --> 01:26:11,589 ♪ I'm leaning in toward your face now ♪ 2045 01:26:11,666 --> 01:26:15,001 ♪ it's something that I want to achieve ♪ 2046 01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:16,712 ♪ and if you will allow it 2047 01:26:16,747 --> 01:26:19,398 ♪ we can kiss till new year's eve ♪ 2048 01:26:19,433 --> 01:26:22,417 Thank you very much! You've been a great audience. 2049 01:26:22,494 --> 01:26:24,744 Thank you.152282

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