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1
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,111
(MACHINE BEEPS)
2
00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:50,988
ON SPEAKER: Hi, honey,
this is your mother.
3
00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:53,782
Listen, I know you're very
busy with the new job,
4
00:01:53,865 --> 00:01:55,659
but please try and call us.
5
00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:58,078
Did you get the birthday
sweater we sent?
6
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,372
We'll be home
all weekend. Bye.
7
00:02:01,373 --> 00:02:02,457
(MACHINE BEEPS)
8
00:02:02,541 --> 00:02:03,625
Howard, Jim here.
9
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:05,419
We still set for
racquetball on Saturday?
10
00:02:05,502 --> 00:02:07,170
Give me a shout,
buddy. Bye-bye.
11
00:02:07,254 --> 00:02:08,297
(MACHINE BEEPS)
12
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:09,965
Hi, it's Wendy.
13
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:13,218
I had this really intense
dream last night, Howie.
14
00:02:13,302 --> 00:02:15,679
I was running my fingers
through your feathers,
15
00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:17,055
and all of a sudden...
16
00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:19,683
(CHUCKLES) Well,you better come over tonight
17
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:22,311
and I'll show you
what really happened next.
18
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,104
Ciao for now, Howie.
19
00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:28,483
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
20
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,610
TV ANNOUNCER: Hey! Ricky Pate,
21
00:02:30,694 --> 00:02:34,781
back with you again for lots
more Dance Frenzy excitement!
22
00:02:34,865 --> 00:02:36,450
Here's couple number three,
23
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:40,162
our lovely Latin dance team
from Webford Falls.
24
00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,664
Charles is a machinist
first class in the Navy
25
00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:46,293
and his darling wife Madge
is a blackjack dealer.
26
00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:49,338
(STUDIO AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
27
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:53,550
Just a super job, kids.
28
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:54,718
Charles and Madge.
29
00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:56,970
Come on, let's hear it
for 'em, folks!
30
00:02:57,054 --> 00:02:58,347
What's the matter, George?
31
00:02:58,430 --> 00:02:59,431
(GROANS)
32
00:02:59,514 --> 00:03:01,099
Hmm. Jock itch again?
33
00:03:01,183 --> 00:03:02,184
I've got just the thing.
34
00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:03,226
Hmm.
35
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:06,229
Here. Why not take a shot
of new Shorts Blaster.
36
00:03:06,313 --> 00:03:07,356
Huh?
37
00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:11,318
It's guaranteed to wipe out feather
fungus in even the most active crotches.
38
00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:12,486
ANNOUNCER: Shorts Blaster.
39
00:03:12,569 --> 00:03:14,196
In addition,
you've won a new car!
40
00:03:14,279 --> 00:03:15,572
(WOMAN SQUEALING)
41
00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:16,948
(GROANS)
42
00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:18,283
(LAUGHS) But that's not all!
43
00:03:18,992 --> 00:03:22,537
Oh, Fred, I love you
so much it hurts.
44
00:03:22,621 --> 00:03:23,580
Uh... He's dead!
45
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,040
Why can't society see...
46
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:28,418
$79.95? Forget it!
47
00:03:28,502 --> 00:03:31,671
$49.99? No way!
48
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:32,714
(YAWNS)
49
00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:36,635
I'm Crazy Webby,
and my prices are insane!
50
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,810
Uh-huh.
51
00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:48,146
Who'd they interview this month?
52
00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:54,111
Mmm-hmm.
53
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:56,738
My little airbrushed beauty.
54
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:58,198
(RUMBLING)
55
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:00,992
(GASPS)
56
00:04:01,076 --> 00:04:02,160
What?
57
00:04:05,664 --> 00:04:07,457
Oh, no!
It's a quake!
58
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,461
Hey! I can't get up!
59
00:04:11,545 --> 00:04:12,712
Ahh!
60
00:04:12,796 --> 00:04:14,673
What is going on here?
61
00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,174
(SCREAMING)
62
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,429
Casey, did you hear something?
63
00:04:20,512 --> 00:04:22,013
(ALL SCREAMING)
64
00:04:22,347 --> 00:04:24,391
(SINGING)
I'm such a lucky girl
65
00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:27,144
In love
66
00:04:27,227 --> 00:04:28,603
(SCREAMING)
67
00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:32,107
Oh!
Whoa!
68
00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:35,026
(SCATTING)
69
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,321
(GASPS)
Hey!
70
00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:39,614
Wow!
71
00:04:39,698 --> 00:04:41,116
(SCREAMING)
72
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:09,853
NARRATOR: The cosmos...
73
00:05:09,936 --> 00:05:13,356
Countless worlds upon worlds...
74
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,984
Worlds without end.
75
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:20,614
In these galaxies,
every possible reality exists,
76
00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:23,241
and what is reality
on any one world
77
00:05:23,325 --> 00:05:26,661
is mere fantasy on all others.
78
00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:30,916
Here, all is real
and all is illusion.
79
00:05:32,125 --> 00:05:35,170
What is, what was,
and what will be
80
00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:37,797
start here with the words,
81
00:05:37,881 --> 00:05:41,301
"In the beginning there was,
82
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,178
"Howard the duck!"
83
00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:52,103
(SCREAMING)
84
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:07,452
Whoa!
85
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:08,954
Whoo!
86
00:06:12,999 --> 00:06:14,334
(GROANING)
87
00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:20,632
(GASPING)
88
00:06:22,759 --> 00:06:24,844
(WHIMPERING)
89
00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:35,146
(GROWLS)
90
00:06:37,399 --> 00:06:39,025
(MOANING)
91
00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:42,445
I'm a dead duck!
92
00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:44,823
Hey! Come on!
93
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:45,907
Oh, no!
94
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:47,826
(ALL LAUGHING)
95
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:51,371
Hey, Bender!
96
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,582
Go on in, frankenweenie!
97
00:06:53,665 --> 00:06:55,792
We finally found you a date!
98
00:06:58,336 --> 00:06:59,671
What is this?
99
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:02,591
(SINGING) Stay home, city boy
100
00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:05,218
Hey, that costume don't fool me.
No kids allowed!
101
00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:07,387
BENDER: Hey, wait a minute!
That's my date!
102
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,513
I said out of the way!
103
00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:10,849
(SCREAMING)
104
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,477
Own sweet bed at night
105
00:07:14,561 --> 00:07:16,187
(SCREAMING)
106
00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:18,982
No, wait!
107
00:07:19,065 --> 00:07:20,817
Keep your mind off real life
108
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:24,112
You little creep! You get away from
my cart, you filthy degenerate!
109
00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:26,281
So, stick to television
110
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:30,201
I can make it
111
00:07:30,285 --> 00:07:32,454
Here in Hunger City
112
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:33,705
(SCREAMS)
113
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:36,166
Nothing's gonna stop me
114
00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:39,336
I know I'll survive
115
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:42,130
I can take it
116
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:45,091
Here in Hunger City
117
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:46,926
(WOMAN GIGGLING)
118
00:07:48,261 --> 00:07:49,304
(SCREAMS)
119
00:07:50,055 --> 00:07:51,014
Christ, it touched me!
120
00:07:51,097 --> 00:07:52,265
What the hell is it?
121
00:07:52,349 --> 00:07:54,893
(EXCLAIMS) I wasn't
trying anything! Honest!
122
00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:55,977
Step on it, will you?
123
00:07:56,394 --> 00:07:58,563
(SCREAMS)
124
00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:02,067
So the day folds into night
125
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,902
(SCREAMING)
126
00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:08,448
You sat down in your easy chair
127
00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:12,952
Oh, there!
There, there.
128
00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:16,414
Ha! Up and away!
129
00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:17,749
(LAUGHS)
130
00:08:18,917 --> 00:08:21,336
Oh, no!
131
00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:24,214
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
132
00:08:24,297 --> 00:08:26,424
Are you ready
for an incredible story?
133
00:08:26,508 --> 00:08:29,010
Waste it, man!
Waste it!
134
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:30,136
Oh, no!
135
00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,681
Here in Hunger City
136
00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:35,850
Nothing's gonna stop me
137
00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:38,937
I know I'll survive
138
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:42,023
I can take it
139
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:45,026
Here in Hunger City
140
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:48,113
Even though they'd eat me
141
00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,407
Just to stay alive
142
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,533
(GROANS)
143
00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:52,575
Hunger City!
144
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:55,704
Talk about a rotten day!
145
00:08:57,372 --> 00:08:58,790
Hunger City!
146
00:09:15,807 --> 00:09:17,016
Just saw your show! Oh, great.
Thanks.
147
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,269
Oh, gracious lady, love your music!
Hey!
148
00:09:19,352 --> 00:09:20,353
Bye, now.
149
00:09:20,437 --> 00:09:22,105
Can I have your
autograph on my shirt?
150
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:24,065
Oh, me, too!
And my shorts!
151
00:09:24,149 --> 00:09:25,942
Real charming.
Just go away, okay?
152
00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:27,694
Hey! I'm talking to you,
big rock star!
153
00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:28,778
(BEVERLY GROANING)
154
00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:29,863
Let me go, you creep!
155
00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:31,740
Hey, don't go
snot-nose on us!
156
00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:33,241
We're your biggest fans!
157
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:35,034
I said, let me go!
158
00:09:39,831 --> 00:09:40,874
Help, somebody, help!
159
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:41,958
(GROANS)
160
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,042
Help!
161
00:09:44,252 --> 00:09:45,587
Come here, snot-nose!
162
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:46,671
(SCREAMS)
163
00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:48,757
That's it.
164
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,176
No more Mr. Nice Duck.
165
00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:56,556
Huh?
166
00:09:56,806 --> 00:09:58,224
Let the female creature go!
167
00:09:58,683 --> 00:09:59,768
Huh?
168
00:10:00,268 --> 00:10:02,103
Every duck's got his limit,
169
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:05,190
and you scum have pushed
me over the line.
170
00:10:06,149 --> 00:10:07,275
Jimmy...
171
00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,943
Do you, like, see what I see?
172
00:10:09,027 --> 00:10:10,320
A talking duck?
173
00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:11,529
Yeah, that's it.
174
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:14,032
I've been doing too much toot!
175
00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:16,117
Shoo! Fly away!
Shoo!
176
00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:20,121
No one laughs
at a master of quack fu!
177
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:21,873
(EXCLAIMING)
178
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:25,877
Jimmy, you okay?
179
00:10:34,719 --> 00:10:36,095
Get off me!
180
00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:44,562
You're crazy!
Get out of here!
181
00:10:44,646 --> 00:10:45,855
Come on, you!
182
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,320
You're breaking my fingers!
183
00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:56,449
Now, you and Baby Face
are gonna beat it.
184
00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:57,617
Right, Mr. Zits?
185
00:10:57,992 --> 00:11:00,662
Before I get really mad.
186
00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:02,080
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
187
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:04,958
Come on!
Let's get out of here!
188
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:11,965
This is obviously no place for
an intelligent, sensitive duck.
189
00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:13,883
This is unreal.
190
00:11:14,843 --> 00:11:15,885
I mean, it can't be.
191
00:11:16,511 --> 00:11:17,512
Thanks.
192
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:20,431
You're not really a...
193
00:11:21,182 --> 00:11:22,183
A duck?
194
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:27,522
You know, this is beginning to
seriously undermine my self-esteem.
195
00:11:27,605 --> 00:11:28,940
I'm sorry.
196
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:32,735
I guess I should thank you
for chasing those guys off.
197
00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:33,820
Are you okay?
198
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,989
Yeah, sure. Terrific.
199
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:38,867
I just have one giant question.
200
00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:40,326
Where am I?
201
00:11:40,994 --> 00:11:42,287
Oh, well, uh,
202
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,580
the lights up there
are Ninth Street
203
00:11:43,663 --> 00:11:45,415
and the bus stops
at the corner of Powell.
204
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:46,541
No, no, no, no, no.
205
00:11:46,624 --> 00:11:48,543
I'm asking, what is this place?
206
00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:50,420
Uh... Cleveland.
207
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:52,630
"Cleve Land?" Uh-huh.
208
00:11:52,714 --> 00:11:56,092
That's a perfect weird
name for this planet.
209
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,802
Planet? No, no.
That's the city.
210
00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:00,430
The planet's...
211
00:12:00,513 --> 00:12:01,514
You don't know the planet?
212
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,225
Oh, well.
213
00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:06,728
The planet's called Earth,
214
00:12:06,811 --> 00:12:07,812
I think,
215
00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:10,148
and I'm obviously in some
sort of terrible nightmare.
216
00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:13,443
Oh, yeah?
Your nightmare or mine?
217
00:12:13,526 --> 00:12:14,903
Good point.
218
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:17,697
So, uh...
219
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,575
I guess I'd better be going.
220
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:21,743
Mmm.
221
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:25,330
Thanks again.
222
00:12:27,749 --> 00:12:28,833
Bye.
223
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:33,546
Bye.
224
00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:06,287
Listen...
Huh?
225
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,705
You got someplace to go?
226
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:10,792
Hey, if I had someplace to go,
227
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,503
I certainly wouldn't
be in Cleve Land.
228
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,564
(SQUAWKING)
229
00:13:35,692 --> 00:13:36,901
Come on.
230
00:13:43,574 --> 00:13:44,534
Nice place.
231
00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:45,827
You pay to live here?
232
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:49,455
It's cheap. The manager of
my band found it for me.
233
00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:51,457
I suggest you find
a new manager.
234
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,585
Hey, I'd love to, but we got this
damn contract with the sleazoid,
235
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:57,505
and he won't even give us
the money he owes us.
236
00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:01,467
(SIGHS) Come on in.
237
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:07,515
Uh, it's sort of
a disaster area.
238
00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:09,726
We've been working on
some new songs, you know?
239
00:14:09,809 --> 00:14:11,894
See, the band's
called Cherry Bomb.
240
00:14:11,978 --> 00:14:14,313
And... Well,
we've been playing
241
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:17,817
in these grungy mong-holes,
waiting for our big break.
242
00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:22,613
You don't have any idea what I'm
talking about, do you, Mr...
243
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:23,990
Hello?
244
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,034
Duck?
245
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,661
It's Howard, thank you.
246
00:14:28,745 --> 00:14:30,288
(CHUCKLES) Right. Howard.
247
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:32,331
Hi, I'm Beverly.
248
00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:33,875
Uh, listen,
249
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:37,086
would you like
something to eat or drink?
250
00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:39,589
Milk?
251
00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:41,799
I could put it in a bowl.
252
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:45,053
Ugh, doll, I don't
drink out of bowls.
253
00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:46,137
You got a beer?
254
00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:47,805
Beer?
255
00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:51,142
Right. Beer.
256
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,393
Right.
257
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,103
Uh...
258
00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:56,898
God, I can't believe this.
259
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,941
(MUMBLING) Yeah, yeah.
I'll put you in a bowl.
260
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:00,234
What?
261
00:15:00,318 --> 00:15:02,487
Phew!
Oh, give me a break.
262
00:15:03,488 --> 00:15:05,114
(SQUAWKS)
263
00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:06,866
What's this?
264
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,410
Oh, it's a purse.
I got it at a swap meet.
265
00:15:09,494 --> 00:15:10,495
Cute.
266
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,413
Yeah, big brewski.
267
00:15:12,497 --> 00:15:13,623
I'm sorry I'm so nervous.
268
00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:15,208
It's just that
I've never been around a...
269
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,001
Mmm-hmm?
270
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,712
I mean, I've never even
had any pets or anything.
271
00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:21,547
It always seemed
like such a hassle.
272
00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:24,133
You know, feeding 'em, cleaning
up their little poo-poos.
273
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,177
I'll try to be careful.
274
00:15:26,427 --> 00:15:27,678
No, wait.
I didn't mean that you...
275
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,263
Hmm?
Oh.
276
00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:32,433
Look, why don't you
just sit down?
277
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:34,143
Okay. Why not?
278
00:15:34,227 --> 00:15:36,646
Make yourself at home.
279
00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:39,273
Make myself at home?
I wish!
280
00:15:39,357 --> 00:15:40,358
Listen.
281
00:15:40,441 --> 00:15:41,526
(MOTOR RUMBLING)
282
00:15:41,609 --> 00:15:43,277
Oh, no! Not again!
283
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:44,654
(SCREAMS)
284
00:15:48,241 --> 00:15:49,992
Howard, it's okay!
285
00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:52,620
You're all right.
286
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,205
The chair started shaking!
287
00:15:54,831 --> 00:15:56,249
It was just
a big truck going by.
288
00:15:56,332 --> 00:15:57,875
(TRUCK HONKING)
289
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,587
A truck.
I knew that.
290
00:16:01,671 --> 00:16:02,755
(CLEARS THROAT)
291
00:16:02,839 --> 00:16:04,799
What I don't know is
292
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:07,009
what the hell I'm doing here.
293
00:16:07,885 --> 00:16:09,762
It's like a bad trip.
294
00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:12,849
I mean, talk about
an identity crisis.
295
00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:13,933
(PLAYING KEYBOARD)
296
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,434
Yeah. What an awful
thing to happen.
297
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:18,146
Howard, I was
just kind of wondering,
298
00:16:18,229 --> 00:16:21,566
does everybody on your planet
look like, uh... Like you?
299
00:16:21,649 --> 00:16:23,401
Obviously. Why?
300
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:25,862
Oh, no reason.
Just wondered.
301
00:16:25,945 --> 00:16:27,572
So, what do you do back home?
302
00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:28,990
You got a job?
You go to school?
303
00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:30,908
I went to med school
for a while.
304
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,451
You went to med school?
305
00:16:32,535 --> 00:16:35,204
Yeah. My parents wanted
me to be a doctor.
306
00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:36,664
A plastic surgeon,
307
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:40,001
making big bucks doing
beak jobs, tail tucks.
308
00:16:40,543 --> 00:16:41,544
What happened?
309
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,504
I dropped out.
310
00:16:44,422 --> 00:16:48,176
I decided to educate myself in
the real world, on the streets,
311
00:16:48,259 --> 00:16:51,554
so, I wrote songs at night and
did construction work by day.
312
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:53,389
Wow. That sounds great.
313
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:54,974
You know, I write songs, too.
What kind of...
314
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,226
Listen. It doesn't matter.
315
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:59,729
It was all a pipe dream.
316
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:04,358
I got so tired of everyone
saying, "Grow up, Howard,"
317
00:17:04,442 --> 00:17:05,943
I guess I finally did.
318
00:17:06,444 --> 00:17:09,322
Last month, I got what
they call a promising job.
319
00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:10,448
Oh, yeah?
Doing what?
320
00:17:11,282 --> 00:17:13,659
Advertising copywriter.
321
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,872
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) "Only two
things touch my feathers,
322
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:20,458
"Oil of Night Fowl and him."
323
00:17:21,459 --> 00:17:22,418
I wrote that.
324
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:23,544
(GIGGLES)
325
00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:24,795
Jeez, Howard.
326
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:28,966
It sort of sounds
like you sold out.
327
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:33,221
Maybe. But, sometimes,
I still get this feeling
328
00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:36,057
there's some kind of special
destiny waiting for me.
329
00:17:37,141 --> 00:17:39,644
Howard, that's it.
Maybe that's why you're here.
330
00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:42,730
I mean, I believe that there are
no accidents in the universe.
331
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,440
Maybe you're here
for some greater purpose,
332
00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:46,567
some cosmic cause.
333
00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:48,110
Are you nuts?
334
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:49,737
(YAWNING)
335
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:52,323
I got no intention
of being stranded here.
336
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,492
I gotta get back.
337
00:17:55,326 --> 00:17:56,827
How is another matter.
338
00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:58,996
Yeah. Right.
339
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,666
We gotta get some help.
340
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,918
Oh, but, Howard...
341
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:05,920
(SNORING)
342
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:18,140
(GASPS)
343
00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:19,517
(SQUAWKS)
344
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,732
Oh, jeez.
345
00:19:22,163 --> 00:19:23,372
Howard!
346
00:19:39,597 --> 00:19:41,265
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
347
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:46,520
(SNORING)
348
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:54,153
What am I gonna do with you,
349
00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:56,614
Ducky?
350
00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:58,866
(MUTTERING)
351
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,377
(SIGHS)
352
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,184
Ah! This is humiliating.
353
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:28,187
I just don't want people
freaking out all over the place.
354
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,313
What about me?
355
00:20:29,397 --> 00:20:32,274
I'm gonna have to see a psychiatrist
every day for the rest of my life.
356
00:20:32,358 --> 00:20:33,776
Relax!
We're almost there.
357
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:34,860
Oh, goodie.
358
00:20:34,944 --> 00:20:36,570
Phil's a scientist.
He can help.
359
00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:40,074
Oh! Ow!
360
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,492
Howard, this isn't working!
361
00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:43,411
HOWARD: Tell me about it! Can
I give you a hand with that?
362
00:20:43,494 --> 00:20:45,413
No. We're doing...
What's in the bag?
363
00:20:45,496 --> 00:20:47,581
I'm doing fine,
thank you very much.
364
00:20:47,665 --> 00:20:50,209
Let me out of here. Ouch.
365
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,252
Excuse me,
could I help you with that?
366
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:52,711
No!
Yes!
367
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,840
Why are we stopping?
368
00:20:56,841 --> 00:20:58,217
Hi.
Oh, hi, Beverly.
369
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,301
We had an appointment.
370
00:20:59,802 --> 00:21:02,513
BEVERLY: We got here
as fast as we could.
371
00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:09,603
(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)
372
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:15,693
God. Listen, everybody.
This is it.
373
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:17,862
I've just seen it.
It's in there.
374
00:21:17,945 --> 00:21:19,905
It's a... It's a...
375
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:23,659
It's nothing!
376
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:24,785
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
377
00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:26,829
It's nothing!
Never mind!
378
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,081
Carry on,
Dr. Chapin.
379
00:21:38,674 --> 00:21:40,885
This is amazing.
380
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:43,554
Man's oldest fantasy...
381
00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,433
Across a sea of stars...
382
00:21:47,516 --> 00:21:52,730
Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird!
383
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,398
It's a plane!
384
00:21:54,482 --> 00:21:57,151
No! It's a duck!
385
00:21:57,735 --> 00:21:59,904
Phil, you've got to help us.
386
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,572
What are we gonna do?
387
00:22:02,156 --> 00:22:03,908
Nice ducky.
388
00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:08,412
Me Phil.
You Howard.
389
00:22:08,496 --> 00:22:10,247
We be friends.
390
00:22:11,332 --> 00:22:12,541
Ugh.
391
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:18,130
(SQUAWKING) Me Phil.
You Howard. We can be friends.
392
00:22:18,214 --> 00:22:21,217
Undoubtedly one of Earth's
greatest minds here.
393
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,343
(EXCLAIMS)
394
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,053
Hey, Phil, don't talk
to him like that.
395
00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:25,179
He's just as smart as you are.
396
00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:26,889
Oh! Now, I'm really depressed.
397
00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,891
Highly intelligent,
perhaps even...
398
00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:30,184
Wait, that's it.
399
00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:32,436
We're about to see if
the subject has any abilities
400
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,521
we don't have here
on Earth, any...
401
00:22:33,604 --> 00:22:34,647
What?
402
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:35,731
Shall we say...
403
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:36,857
Hmm?
404
00:22:36,941 --> 00:22:39,151
Super powers.
405
00:22:40,236 --> 00:22:41,487
Howard!
406
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:42,821
Hmm?
407
00:22:42,905 --> 00:22:44,198
Can you bend this?
408
00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:45,950
(CLATTERING)
409
00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:47,451
What are you? Crazy?
410
00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:48,786
Howard...
411
00:22:49,370 --> 00:22:54,750
Can you burn a hole through this
with some kind of eye laser?
412
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:58,379
Can I bite your nose off
with my super bill?
413
00:22:58,462 --> 00:23:00,047
Howard, quit holding out!
414
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:02,591
I want you to concentrate
and read my mind!
415
00:23:03,384 --> 00:23:05,803
Right.
You're thinking...
416
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,514
"They know I'm a phony.
417
00:23:08,597 --> 00:23:09,974
"They know I'm a yo-yo."
418
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:11,058
(LAUGHS)
419
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:13,477
Tell me if I'm warm
on any of these, Phil.
420
00:23:13,561 --> 00:23:15,396
I want you to look
into the future
421
00:23:15,479 --> 00:23:17,147
and tell me what you see!
422
00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:19,775
I see myself
walking out that door.
423
00:23:19,858 --> 00:23:21,735
BEVERLY: Yeah! Me, too!
424
00:23:21,819 --> 00:23:23,571
No, no, no! Wait, wait!
You can't leave!
425
00:23:23,654 --> 00:23:24,905
Oh, yeah? Why not?
426
00:23:24,989 --> 00:23:26,740
Because there are
papers to be written,
427
00:23:26,824 --> 00:23:28,117
there's research to be done,
428
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,744
there's symposiums
to give, lecture tours.
429
00:23:30,828 --> 00:23:33,539
Howard, we are on our way
to the science hall of fame.
430
00:23:33,622 --> 00:23:35,874
Look out, Darwin!
Look out, Einstein!
431
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:37,501
Hello, Nobel Prize!
432
00:23:37,585 --> 00:23:39,587
We are not here to make
you famous, Blumburtt.
433
00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:42,339
Beverly, listen, I never badmouth
others in the scientific fraternity,
434
00:23:42,423 --> 00:23:44,675
but you bring an alien
in a bag to most guys,
435
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:47,261
and whammo! They're talking,
"Let's cut him into little pieces
436
00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:49,096
"and see what color
his organs are!"
437
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:51,432
I just want to know,
A, what I'm doing here,
438
00:23:51,515 --> 00:23:53,434
and B, how I'm gonna get back.
439
00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:55,853
Piece of cake.
A, I'm just the guy to help,
440
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:59,106
and that's because
B, I've already got a theory.
441
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,357
What theory?
442
00:24:00,441 --> 00:24:04,111
Well, this is, of course,
the evolutionary ladder,
443
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:07,990
showing how man progressed
from monkey to...
444
00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:09,450
Me, for instance.
445
00:24:09,533 --> 00:24:11,368
You consider that progress?
446
00:24:11,452 --> 00:24:13,746
Jeez, you're all hairless apes?
447
00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,497
That's really disgusting.
448
00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:18,208
Now, I want you both to imagine,
449
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:21,629
somewhere in the universe
is Howard's world.
450
00:24:21,712 --> 00:24:23,964
Picture it in your mind,
451
00:24:24,048 --> 00:24:26,300
a world almost
exactly like ours,
452
00:24:26,383 --> 00:24:30,012
except that the progenitor
of the dominant species
453
00:24:30,095 --> 00:24:34,391
was not a monkey, but a duck!
454
00:24:34,475 --> 00:24:35,809
Some theory.
455
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:37,770
Every school duck
knows this stuff.
456
00:24:37,853 --> 00:24:39,938
And as the duck
457
00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:42,483
climbed up
the evolutionary ladder,
458
00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:44,693
he said adiós to his wings.
459
00:24:44,777 --> 00:24:46,945
His mental capacity increases.
460
00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:50,157
He begins to develop...
Beverly?
461
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,200
Shopping malls?
462
00:24:51,283 --> 00:24:52,326
(CHUCKLES)
463
00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:53,994
No, tribes.
464
00:24:54,078 --> 00:24:55,537
Cro-Magnon duck,
465
00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:58,832
who ultimately evolves into
466
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:00,000
Howard.
467
00:25:00,084 --> 00:25:01,502
Hey, Blumburtt! Blumburtt!
468
00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:02,628
Come on.
469
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,338
DR. CHAPIN: What the hell
are you doing?
470
00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,423
Don't move!
Don't breathe!
471
00:25:07,049 --> 00:25:08,967
Did you finish cleaning
up the specimen lab?
472
00:25:09,051 --> 00:25:10,803
Um, almost finished.
473
00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:13,013
Well, get down to the marine
life exhibit with a mop.
474
00:25:13,097 --> 00:25:15,557
Some kid upchucked
all over the fern fossils.
475
00:25:15,641 --> 00:25:17,226
Right. Good as done,
Dr. Chapin.
476
00:25:17,976 --> 00:25:20,187
HOWARD: So, Philsie...
477
00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:22,940
You a scientist or a janitor?
478
00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:24,733
Uh, I am a lab assistant.
479
00:25:24,817 --> 00:25:26,110
That's terrific.
Just perfect...
480
00:25:26,193 --> 00:25:27,194
Yeah, I'm out of here.
481
00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:28,362
Look, it's just a temporary job
482
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:30,239
until I finish school
and get my own museum.
483
00:25:30,322 --> 00:25:32,116
Yeah. Stuffed,
you'd make a great exhibit.
484
00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:33,200
Howard!
485
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:34,910
BEVERLY: Howard, wait!
486
00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:36,286
(SCREAMS)
487
00:25:36,912 --> 00:25:38,497
Ah-ha!
Typical hairless ape.
488
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:40,416
Howard, now, come on. Don't
flutter off in a huff.
489
00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:41,875
Beverly, listen, I've got
some important matters...
490
00:25:41,959 --> 00:25:42,918
DR. CHAPIN: Blumburtt,
did you hear me?
491
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:44,086
...to clean up here,
but I'll call you tonight.
492
00:25:44,169 --> 00:25:45,170
DR. CHAPIN: I want
you back in here, now.
493
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:47,840
I'll figure out a way
to help Howard, I swear.
494
00:25:47,923 --> 00:25:49,383
Just don't show him
to anybody else...
495
00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,301
Yeah, they look hungry.
Get 'em a banana.
496
00:25:51,385 --> 00:25:52,594
Hide him!
497
00:25:52,678 --> 00:25:53,971
Take him to a movie!
498
00:25:54,054 --> 00:25:56,056
Look, I didn't know
where else to go for help.
499
00:25:56,140 --> 00:25:57,182
DR. CHAPIN: Inside, Blumburtt!
500
00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,726
Coming! Coming!
501
00:25:58,809 --> 00:26:00,310
Howard, why are you
so pissed off?
502
00:26:00,394 --> 00:26:01,937
Why? Listen.
503
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:05,274
If you got blasted millions
of miles through space,
504
00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:06,650
ended up on another planet
505
00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:09,069
and were given
an IQ test by a janitor,
506
00:26:09,153 --> 00:26:11,530
you'd be a little
pissed off, too.
507
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:13,615
Look, maybe you are trapped
in a world you never made,
508
00:26:13,699 --> 00:26:15,868
but I got problems of my own.
509
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:18,078
You know, my whole
career is falling apart.
510
00:26:18,162 --> 00:26:20,122
Your career?
What about my life?
511
00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:21,248
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
512
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:23,250
I'm stranded here, shipwrecked.
513
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,294
Look at this wonderful exhibit!
514
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,378
You see what I mean?
515
00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:28,255
I'm a freak, an outcast.
516
00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:30,257
It's so lifelike and realistic.
517
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:31,341
Bugger off!
518
00:26:31,967 --> 00:26:32,968
Excuse me?
519
00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:34,511
I said beat it!
520
00:26:34,595 --> 00:26:35,596
(GROWLING)
521
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:36,930
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
522
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:38,223
Mutants.
523
00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:40,726
You, too.
Leave me alone.
524
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:42,936
What?
525
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:46,940
I don't need any more of your
sympathy, your charity...
526
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:50,527
Okay.
Okay, fine.
527
00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,237
I mean, I just
found something...
528
00:26:52,321 --> 00:26:53,405
Uh-uh?
529
00:26:53,489 --> 00:26:56,533
I mean somebody in a pretty weird
predicament, and I was trying to help.
530
00:26:56,617 --> 00:26:57,951
Mmm-hmm.
531
00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:00,037
If that's the way you want it,
532
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,164
then so long, Ducky.
533
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,793
Don't shed any tears
over me, toots!
534
00:27:05,876 --> 00:27:07,878
You can wallow in
your own self-pity!
535
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:08,962
Right!
536
00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:11,840
Well, who needs you?
I don't need anybody.
537
00:27:11,924 --> 00:27:13,342
Yeah, right.
538
00:27:14,718 --> 00:27:15,803
Yeah.
539
00:27:17,054 --> 00:27:18,096
(SQUAWKS)
540
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,264
Oh, no!
541
00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:23,393
Damn it, I can't sit here
on my tail feathers
542
00:27:23,477 --> 00:27:25,437
feeling sorry for myself.
543
00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:27,940
I've got to think
about practical matters.
544
00:27:28,023 --> 00:27:29,608
Food, shelter...
545
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,735
A job!
546
00:27:38,492 --> 00:27:39,743
(HUMMING)
547
00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:44,498
Now, you do know
why you were sent to me?
548
00:27:45,165 --> 00:27:47,501
My continuing
streak of bad luck?
549
00:27:47,584 --> 00:27:48,919
(CHUCKLES)
550
00:27:49,586 --> 00:27:51,421
You've been sent to me
because I'm famous
551
00:27:51,505 --> 00:27:54,675
for finding jobs
for little slackers like you.
552
00:27:54,758 --> 00:27:55,759
That's right.
553
00:27:55,843 --> 00:27:58,053
They send me
all the psycho cases,
554
00:27:58,136 --> 00:27:59,513
all the misfits,
555
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,849
all the phonies and the fakers
556
00:28:01,932 --> 00:28:04,518
who think that, by traipsing
in here looking outlandish,
557
00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:06,854
they're not gonna
be able to find work!
558
00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:08,647
It's my fault I gotta shoplift
559
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,691
at the little tykes
section of Goodwill?
560
00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:12,776
I'm not talking
about your clothes!
561
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:14,903
I'm talking about your face!
Hey.
562
00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,614
You think that,
by looking controversial,
563
00:28:17,698 --> 00:28:20,033
you're never gonna find a job
564
00:28:20,117 --> 00:28:22,327
and just go on
collecting unemployment
565
00:28:22,411 --> 00:28:24,621
and living happy
on the public dough.
566
00:28:24,705 --> 00:28:27,708
Well, dude, you got
another thing coming,
567
00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:30,377
'cause Coramae always
places her interviewee!
568
00:28:30,460 --> 00:28:31,795
(SNARLING)
569
00:28:32,546 --> 00:28:34,548
I'm gonna find your ass a job.
570
00:28:34,631 --> 00:28:37,718
That'll wipe that snarl
right off your face,
571
00:28:37,801 --> 00:28:38,886
little...
572
00:28:38,969 --> 00:28:40,554
Whatever you is.
573
00:28:40,637 --> 00:28:42,639
Hmm.
In fact,
574
00:28:42,806 --> 00:28:45,851
I think I got just
the position for you.
575
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:48,854
Hmm.
576
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:51,773
(GROWLING)
577
00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:53,734
I got a feeling
578
00:28:53,817 --> 00:28:57,237
you gonna take to this job
like a duck to water.
579
00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:58,655
(LAUGHING)
580
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,453
(MOANING)
581
00:29:06,914 --> 00:29:08,916
Towels! Lotions!
582
00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:10,083
(GIRL SHRIEKING)
583
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:11,293
Antibiotics?
584
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,253
(SHUDDERS)
585
00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:15,881
(LAUGHING)
586
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:21,678
Hmm, must be mating season.
587
00:29:26,391 --> 00:29:28,143
Creepy little dude.
588
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:31,271
Hey! Shorty!
589
00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:32,356
Huh?
590
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:36,610
It's Howard, thank you,
and I'm taking a break.
591
00:29:37,194 --> 00:29:39,613
Oh! Pardon me,
your lowness,
592
00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:44,576
but we seem to have a plugged-up
air jet in number five.
593
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:45,661
And?
594
00:29:45,744 --> 00:29:46,912
And?
595
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:51,917
And since you are supposed to be
the water expert I asked for,
596
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,211
you are going to fix it!
597
00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:56,713
Oh, no.
598
00:29:56,797 --> 00:29:57,798
HOWARD: No, no, no!
Wait, wait!
599
00:29:57,881 --> 00:29:59,633
I got a better idea!
Wait! Wait!
600
00:29:59,716 --> 00:30:01,218
I can't swim!
601
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:03,095
Oops! Guess I slipped!
602
00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:09,309
(MOANING)
603
00:30:09,393 --> 00:30:10,978
(GASPING)
604
00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:15,482
Don't mind me!
605
00:30:19,736 --> 00:30:20,779
(GROANS IN DISGUST)
606
00:30:20,862 --> 00:30:23,865
I need that creepy little dude
in here to clean this place up!
607
00:30:23,949 --> 00:30:25,242
How am I supposed
to run a class...
608
00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:26,576
(SCREAMS)
609
00:30:27,536 --> 00:30:29,079
Guess I slipped.
610
00:30:29,788 --> 00:30:31,248
Just came by to tell you,
611
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:34,793
I quit! Huh!
612
00:31:04,406 --> 00:31:05,782
(SIGHS)
613
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:16,251
HOWARD: Excuse me!
Getting off! My stop!
614
00:31:16,334 --> 00:31:17,377
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
615
00:31:17,461 --> 00:31:18,962
Hi, there.
How are you?
616
00:31:19,046 --> 00:31:20,088
Good to see you.
617
00:31:20,172 --> 00:31:21,339
MAN: Hey, where
you going, pal?
618
00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:23,216
Yeah, same to you.
619
00:31:24,176 --> 00:31:25,886
Urban jungle. Jeez!
620
00:31:25,969 --> 00:31:27,554
(ALL LAUGHING)
621
00:31:27,637 --> 00:31:29,389
MAN 1: What is that?
MAN 2: That's a duck!
622
00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:31,475
What is that thing?
That's a duck, man!
623
00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,728
TV NEWS REPORTER: Forecasting
a weekend of fair weather
624
00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:37,898
for you duck hunters and
for our lucky field reporter,
625
00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:39,232
Steve Kanelli.
626
00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:41,735
Well, Bob, it's time
to dust off those decoys
627
00:31:41,818 --> 00:31:45,197
and practice that squawking because duck
hunting season has officially opened...
628
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:46,239
Duck hunting?
629
00:31:46,323 --> 00:31:49,576
And the Wildlife Commission has actually
doubled the limit of ducks that can be shot.
630
00:31:49,659 --> 00:31:50,660
Shot?
631
00:31:50,744 --> 00:31:52,412
Reactions from local hunters
have been enthusiastic.
632
00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:58,210
MAN: (IN FRENCH ACCENT) The duck has
come to America with Duck-A-Roni.
633
00:31:58,293 --> 00:31:59,503
Oh, no!
634
00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:03,090
But if every hunter can blast
15 of those... from the sky...
635
00:32:03,173 --> 00:32:04,132
(TRUCK BACKFIRES)
636
00:32:04,216 --> 00:32:05,717
(SCREAMING)
637
00:32:05,801 --> 00:32:08,095
Hey, buddy, what's the rush?
638
00:32:09,471 --> 00:32:11,014
(EXCLAIMING)
639
00:32:11,098 --> 00:32:13,558
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
640
00:32:13,642 --> 00:32:15,894
(PANTING)
641
00:32:22,567 --> 00:32:23,652
Huh?
642
00:32:29,533 --> 00:32:30,617
BEVERLY: (SINGING)
I don't know why
643
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,954
You're not talking to me
644
00:32:34,037 --> 00:32:36,331
I don't know what went wrong
645
00:32:38,834 --> 00:32:42,796
Two people who had
so much together
646
00:32:42,879 --> 00:32:45,924
Really ought to get along
647
00:32:46,007 --> 00:32:47,217
Yeah
648
00:32:47,843 --> 00:32:52,305
Something started
to change inside of you
649
00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:54,724
Then right out of the blue
650
00:32:57,018 --> 00:33:00,397
Two friends
with such a lot to give
651
00:33:01,148 --> 00:33:03,024
I don't know where you are
652
00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:05,026
What you're going through
653
00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:08,947
What are we trying to prove?
654
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:12,117
'Cause when this world's too big
655
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,786
To take on your shoulders
656
00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:17,747
Feels like love is in vain
657
00:33:18,832 --> 00:33:22,836
You could break down
in my arms, babe
658
00:33:22,919 --> 00:33:26,381
But it really hurts
when you turn away
659
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:31,678
And I can take
the look you give me
660
00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,096
Believe me
661
00:33:33,180 --> 00:33:36,099
'Cause I know you are in pain
662
00:33:36,850 --> 00:33:40,812
And I can take
the names you call me
663
00:33:40,896 --> 00:33:44,816
But I can't stand
when you turn away
664
00:33:45,525 --> 00:33:47,277
Don't turn away
665
00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:50,864
I can feel you all around me
666
00:33:51,781 --> 00:33:53,241
This is way too depressing.
667
00:33:53,325 --> 00:33:54,868
(CROWD JEERING)
668
00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:58,663
Okay. Give me a beat!
669
00:34:00,332 --> 00:34:02,125
One, two, three, four!
670
00:34:05,003 --> 00:34:06,046
MAN: Yeah!
671
00:34:06,129 --> 00:34:07,464
(WHISTLES)
672
00:34:07,547 --> 00:34:09,674
Honey! I love you!
I love you!
673
00:34:09,758 --> 00:34:10,759
(KISSING NOISES)
674
00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:12,052
Yeah, right here.
Beverly, I'm yours...
675
00:34:12,135 --> 00:34:13,470
After the show.
All right.
676
00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:19,851
Here's the money for the girl.
677
00:34:20,644 --> 00:34:22,229
I'll make sure they get it!
678
00:34:22,312 --> 00:34:23,563
(LAUGHING)
679
00:34:23,647 --> 00:34:25,023
Yeah, I'll bet.
When?
680
00:34:25,106 --> 00:34:28,902
When? When bodacious Beverly
stops holding out on me.
681
00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,153
Gonna invite her
up to my place tonight
682
00:34:30,237 --> 00:34:32,530
for a little
career manipulation.
683
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,453
I guess you must be
the girls' manager.
684
00:34:38,536 --> 00:34:40,622
And if you are,
685
00:34:40,705 --> 00:34:44,417
I don't like the way
you're talking about Beverly.
686
00:34:44,501 --> 00:34:47,087
And I want the girls' money!
687
00:34:47,170 --> 00:34:49,631
(STAMMERING) Ritchie,
what is that?
688
00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:53,426
Look, Ginger, I warned you when
you got into rock management
689
00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:55,679
you'd be dealing with
the entertainment types.
690
00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:58,515
You know, different
strokes and all that.
691
00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:00,850
Hey, hey, different
lifestyles is one thing,
692
00:35:00,934 --> 00:35:03,228
different life forms is another.
693
00:35:04,396 --> 00:35:05,605
(GASPS)
694
00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:13,196
I'm not in a real good
mood tonight, Ginger.
695
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,864
I want the girls' money.
696
00:35:14,948 --> 00:35:15,949
(SNICKERS)
697
00:35:16,032 --> 00:35:19,536
Now, is this gonna be easy,
698
00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:24,833
or is this gonna be trouble?
699
00:35:24,916 --> 00:35:27,627
Hey, Ritchie,
tell it to go away.
700
00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:29,796
I'm not up on all
my barnyard languages.
701
00:35:29,879 --> 00:35:30,839
(COUGHING)
702
00:35:30,922 --> 00:35:35,760
Okay, duck, out! You're gone! You're
history, you little wise-quacker!
703
00:35:35,844 --> 00:35:37,137
Arrivederci, duck!
704
00:35:37,220 --> 00:35:39,139
Oh! Oh, no!
705
00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:42,684
Mallard in the side pocket!
706
00:35:42,767 --> 00:35:44,394
Adiós, quack man!
707
00:35:45,228 --> 00:35:46,313
Very nicely done.
708
00:35:49,024 --> 00:35:51,443
Hey, what's going on
out there now?
709
00:35:56,448 --> 00:35:57,615
Huh?
710
00:36:00,994 --> 00:36:02,579
(CROWD CHEERING)
711
00:36:04,164 --> 00:36:05,623
(GROWLING)
712
00:36:05,707 --> 00:36:08,543
All right.
Now it's my turn.
713
00:36:09,544 --> 00:36:12,339
Hey, come on, duck,
take your best shot!
714
00:36:12,422 --> 00:36:14,090
(GRUNTS)
715
00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:15,508
You got it!
716
00:36:15,592 --> 00:36:17,177
Ritchie! Get up!
717
00:36:26,144 --> 00:36:27,562
Duck kabob!
718
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:30,357
(EXCLAIMS)
719
00:36:32,067 --> 00:36:33,068
No!
720
00:36:33,443 --> 00:36:34,527
(CROWD SHRIEKS)
721
00:36:34,611 --> 00:36:36,946
(SCREAMING)
722
00:36:38,656 --> 00:36:41,242
Oh. No earring
in your other ear?
723
00:36:41,326 --> 00:36:43,411
I'll just make the hole myself.
724
00:36:43,495 --> 00:36:45,705
No, please, man!
Don't, man, please don't!
725
00:36:45,789 --> 00:36:46,790
The money!
726
00:36:46,873 --> 00:36:49,793
Sure! Sure, here! Here, take the money!
Take it, it's yours! Take it!
727
00:36:49,876 --> 00:36:52,962
And you're no longer
their manager.
728
00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:55,298
Listen, okay, everybody
in here is a witness.
729
00:36:55,382 --> 00:36:57,884
I am letting the girls
out of their contract, okay?
730
00:36:57,967 --> 00:37:00,220
Tell your goons to stay back!
I'm warning you.
731
00:37:00,303 --> 00:37:01,262
Stay back, Ritchie!
732
00:37:01,346 --> 00:37:03,640
I bite your face,
you're a dead man, Ginger!
733
00:37:03,973 --> 00:37:04,974
What are you talking about?
734
00:37:05,058 --> 00:37:07,644
Space rabies!
735
00:37:07,727 --> 00:37:09,229
Ritchie, is that a real disease?
736
00:37:09,312 --> 00:37:12,399
I don't know, Ginger. I heard
something about that on the news.
737
00:37:12,857 --> 00:37:15,276
That's right, space rabies!
738
00:37:15,902 --> 00:37:19,531
One bite, and it's agonizing
death in 15 seconds!
739
00:37:19,614 --> 00:37:21,241
Bite! Bite! Bite!
740
00:37:21,324 --> 00:37:22,951
(CROWD SCREAMING)
741
00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:29,332
Real music lovers, huh?
742
00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:30,583
(SCOFFS)
743
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,044
KC: What a dive!
744
00:37:33,128 --> 00:37:34,379
(SCOFFS)
745
00:37:34,838 --> 00:37:37,215
Man, those guys
are a bunch of fools!
746
00:37:37,298 --> 00:37:38,550
Obviously the wrong crowd.
747
00:37:38,633 --> 00:37:40,260
I'm running out of sticks
to throw at people.
748
00:37:40,343 --> 00:37:41,344
This sucks.
749
00:37:41,428 --> 00:37:42,429
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
750
00:37:42,512 --> 00:37:43,471
Now what?
751
00:37:43,555 --> 00:37:44,597
Tell 'em to go away.
752
00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:48,977
(HOWARD CLEARS THROAT)
753
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:50,687
Down here, doll!
754
00:37:51,521 --> 00:37:52,814
Is Beverly in?
755
00:37:52,897 --> 00:37:55,859
Wow! Jeez!
You must be...
756
00:37:56,526 --> 00:37:59,320
KC! Meet Howard.
757
00:37:59,404 --> 00:38:00,405
Wow!
758
00:38:00,488 --> 00:38:01,656
Hi, Howie.
759
00:38:01,739 --> 00:38:03,825
We've heard so much about you.
760
00:38:03,908 --> 00:38:05,994
Of course, we didn't believe it.
761
00:38:06,077 --> 00:38:08,121
Yo! How weird.
762
00:38:08,663 --> 00:38:09,664
(CHUCKLES)
763
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:11,374
Hiya, Ducky.
764
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,584
Hi, toots.
765
00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,377
BEVERLY: How's the world
been treating you?
766
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:15,462
(SCOFFS)
767
00:38:15,879 --> 00:38:17,297
Guess.
768
00:38:17,380 --> 00:38:20,091
I was worried about you.
I missed you.
769
00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:24,971
Well, sex appeal. Some guys
got it and some guys don't.
770
00:38:25,263 --> 00:38:26,473
Howard!
771
00:38:27,557 --> 00:38:29,726
Listen, I'm sorry we fought.
772
00:38:30,435 --> 00:38:32,187
You're the only friend
I've got here.
773
00:38:34,981 --> 00:38:35,982
(CHUCKLES)
774
00:38:36,065 --> 00:38:37,066
(DOOR OPENS)
775
00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,443
Hi! Sorry I missed the show.
776
00:38:38,526 --> 00:38:39,861
I came to watch you
undress, though,
777
00:38:40,570 --> 00:38:42,530
and brought a pizza.
778
00:38:42,989 --> 00:38:44,240
Howard!
779
00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:46,993
(SQUAWKS)
780
00:38:47,410 --> 00:38:49,245
Oy...
Vey.
781
00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:52,665
Thank God you're back! I've been working
on the mystery of your arrival!
782
00:38:52,749 --> 00:38:54,250
What's he doing here?
783
00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:56,586
Well, he and Ronette have
sort of got back together.
784
00:38:56,669 --> 00:38:59,923
I don't know who's more
desperate for dates, you or me.
785
00:39:00,006 --> 00:39:01,424
Huh?
Hmm.
786
00:39:01,508 --> 00:39:04,177
Anyway, Howard, I was talking
to some astrolophysicists.
787
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:06,930
You know, the guys that discovered
that Aztecs came from Mars.
788
00:39:07,013 --> 00:39:08,806
Well, these guys concluded
that you arrived here
789
00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:10,642
in a spacecraft
millions of years ago
790
00:39:10,725 --> 00:39:12,227
and must have remained
frozen in ice!
791
00:39:12,310 --> 00:39:13,436
Go away!
792
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,271
Ronette, could you
shut this boy up?
793
00:39:15,355 --> 00:39:17,065
Howard...
What's a pizza?
794
00:39:17,148 --> 00:39:18,733
It's a circular
Italian food object.
795
00:39:18,816 --> 00:39:20,818
Howard, I didn't buy
that theory either,
796
00:39:20,902 --> 00:39:24,364
so I did some research and I discovered
an ancient race of large ducks
797
00:39:24,447 --> 00:39:26,824
worshipped by primitive Samoans.
798
00:39:26,908 --> 00:39:28,826
Leave me alone!
799
00:39:29,786 --> 00:39:32,705
I was barking up the
wrong tree, I knew that,
800
00:39:32,789 --> 00:39:36,626
but tonight, I am getting concrete
evidence about how you got here.
801
00:39:36,793 --> 00:39:38,336
(PAGER BEEPS)
Wait a minute.
802
00:39:38,419 --> 00:39:40,713
Oh, I gotta make a call.
803
00:39:40,797 --> 00:39:42,799
Phil!
No sex now. I'm working.
804
00:39:42,882 --> 00:39:44,509
Got a place to stay tonight?
805
00:39:44,592 --> 00:39:45,802
Mmm-mmm.
806
00:39:48,429 --> 00:39:49,764
(LAUGHS)
807
00:39:50,473 --> 00:39:52,892
Oh, yeah,
by the way, I forgot...
808
00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:55,186
I had a little talk
with your manager, Ginger.
809
00:39:55,270 --> 00:39:57,188
You talked to that slime?
What for?
810
00:39:57,272 --> 00:39:59,190
I got your money from him.
811
00:39:59,274 --> 00:40:00,275
(ALL GASP)
812
00:40:00,358 --> 00:40:01,484
Ducky, I can't believe this!
813
00:40:01,568 --> 00:40:03,403
I also got him to agree
814
00:40:03,486 --> 00:40:05,947
that it was time for him
to step aside as your manager.
815
00:40:06,030 --> 00:40:08,032
What? You got rid of Ginger?
816
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:09,576
Mr. Duck,
you're wonderful!
817
00:40:10,785 --> 00:40:12,620
This is it!
I'm out of here!
818
00:40:12,704 --> 00:40:13,705
Good!
819
00:40:13,788 --> 00:40:16,207
Howard! I'm about to meet
secretly with my colleague,
820
00:40:16,291 --> 00:40:18,126
and he's bringing the feather.
821
00:40:18,209 --> 00:40:20,086
What feather?
What are you talking...
822
00:40:20,169 --> 00:40:22,547
If it matches, it'll be the
answer to all your problems.
823
00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:25,008
Matches? No, you don't!
Stay away from me!
824
00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:26,634
Let me through!
Phil, leave him alone.
825
00:40:26,718 --> 00:40:27,844
(SCREAMING)
826
00:40:27,927 --> 00:40:29,679
Philip, get a grip!
827
00:40:29,762 --> 00:40:32,348
I'm about to unravel
the mystery of your arrival!
828
00:40:32,432 --> 00:40:34,475
Come back here,
you hairless ape!
829
00:40:34,559 --> 00:40:35,768
You'll have time
to thank me later.
830
00:40:35,852 --> 00:40:37,145
Get out of here, geek!
831
00:40:37,228 --> 00:40:38,605
(LAUGHING)
We're gonna be famous!
832
00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:40,148
Are you okay?
833
00:40:40,231 --> 00:40:42,442
Oh, it's just my pride.
834
00:40:42,525 --> 00:40:44,319
We'll go home, Ducky.
835
00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:57,915
(PLAYING KEYBOARD)
836
00:41:01,169 --> 00:41:02,253
Hmm.
837
00:41:03,254 --> 00:41:05,298
(PROGRAMED BEATS PLAYING)
838
00:41:05,381 --> 00:41:06,758
(BEATS STOP)
839
00:41:10,553 --> 00:41:11,846
(CHUCKLES)
840
00:41:11,929 --> 00:41:13,973
(BEATS PLAYING)
841
00:41:14,891 --> 00:41:16,017
Yeah.
842
00:41:16,726 --> 00:41:17,977
Uh-huh!
843
00:41:21,939 --> 00:41:23,524
(PLAYING KEYBOARD)
844
00:41:27,278 --> 00:41:28,404
Yeah!
845
00:41:31,658 --> 00:41:32,784
All right!
846
00:41:32,867 --> 00:41:33,868
(LAUGHING)
847
00:41:33,951 --> 00:41:35,286
(SCATTING)
848
00:41:39,749 --> 00:41:40,833
Hey!
849
00:41:40,917 --> 00:41:42,168
(STOPS PLAYING)
850
00:41:42,251 --> 00:41:43,836
A little tune I never finished.
851
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,672
You play pretty good.
852
00:41:45,755 --> 00:41:47,882
I had a group in high school,
853
00:41:47,965 --> 00:41:49,050
Howard and the Heartbreakers.
854
00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:52,762
Oh, heavy, Howard.
Very heavy.
855
00:41:52,845 --> 00:41:55,139
Maybe you should be our manager.
856
00:41:56,265 --> 00:41:57,850
Wait a second...
857
00:41:59,268 --> 00:42:02,105
Maybe you're just the kind
of bizarro influence we need.
858
00:42:02,188 --> 00:42:04,899
Forget it.
No more jobs here.
859
00:42:04,982 --> 00:42:07,360
Uh-uh. I think you'd
be a great manager.
860
00:42:07,443 --> 00:42:09,112
I'm gonna suggest
it to the girls.
861
00:42:09,195 --> 00:42:10,863
I've given up
trying to assimilate.
862
00:42:10,947 --> 00:42:13,908
Mmm-mmm. I've got to get
back to my own kind.
863
00:42:14,867 --> 00:42:17,036
Although...
864
00:42:17,745 --> 00:42:20,206
I have developed
a greater appreciation
865
00:42:20,289 --> 00:42:22,834
for the female version
of the human anatomy.
866
00:42:22,917 --> 00:42:23,918
(HOWARD HOWLS)
867
00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:25,837
Howard, you really
are the worst!
868
00:42:26,212 --> 00:42:27,213
(CHUCKLES)
869
00:42:27,964 --> 00:42:29,716
Come on, let's watch
David Letterman.
870
00:42:30,049 --> 00:42:31,050
Hmm.
871
00:42:31,259 --> 00:42:32,260
Come on.
872
00:42:33,136 --> 00:42:34,554
Okey-dokey.
873
00:42:34,637 --> 00:42:37,181
You know, I got a feeling
my life's really gonna change
874
00:42:37,265 --> 00:42:39,225
since you fell into it, Ducky.
875
00:42:39,308 --> 00:42:42,228
Yeah, well, I'm glad
somebody's happy.
876
00:42:42,311 --> 00:42:44,063
If I could just get
my career back on course,
877
00:42:44,147 --> 00:42:46,899
I'd only have the old
standard worry left.
878
00:42:46,983 --> 00:42:47,984
What's that?
879
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:51,028
Just can't seem
to find the right man.
880
00:42:51,112 --> 00:42:53,698
Maybe it's not a man
you should be looking for.
881
00:42:56,409 --> 00:43:00,329
You think I might find happiness
in the animal kingdom, Ducky?
882
00:43:00,413 --> 00:43:03,708
Like they say,
doll, love's strange.
883
00:43:03,791 --> 00:43:05,626
We could always give it a try.
884
00:43:07,879 --> 00:43:09,005
Hmm?
885
00:43:12,759 --> 00:43:13,843
Okay.
886
00:43:14,552 --> 00:43:16,596
Let's go for it,
Mr. Macho.
887
00:43:17,513 --> 00:43:20,266
What do you mean, okay?
It was a joke!
888
00:43:20,349 --> 00:43:21,559
Mmm-hmm.
889
00:43:22,351 --> 00:43:23,352
Listen...
890
00:43:23,436 --> 00:43:25,605
(YAWNING)
I'm pretty tired.
891
00:43:25,688 --> 00:43:28,941
It's just that you're so
incredibly soft and cuddly.
892
00:43:29,025 --> 00:43:31,444
Bev, let's be realistic.
893
00:43:31,527 --> 00:43:34,113
I mean, my apartment's
zillions of miles from here.
894
00:43:34,197 --> 00:43:35,239
(EXCLAIMS)
895
00:43:35,323 --> 00:43:37,742
You're 3 feet taller than I am.
896
00:43:37,825 --> 00:43:41,120
I just can't resist
your intense animal magnetism.
897
00:43:41,204 --> 00:43:42,455
(MOANS)
898
00:43:44,081 --> 00:43:45,374
Whoops!
899
00:43:45,458 --> 00:43:47,794
Anyway, where will it all lead?
900
00:43:47,877 --> 00:43:50,546
Marriage? Kids?
A house in the suburbs?
901
00:43:51,881 --> 00:43:54,675
Let's just face it, it's fate.
902
00:43:54,759 --> 00:43:56,260
No! It's not!
903
00:43:57,011 --> 00:43:58,012
(SHUDDERS)
904
00:43:58,095 --> 00:43:59,472
I've got a headache.
905
00:43:59,555 --> 00:44:01,432
And I got the aspirin.
906
00:44:02,809 --> 00:44:04,018
Be gentle.
907
00:44:04,936 --> 00:44:07,563
Just one good-night kiss,
sweet Ducky?
908
00:44:09,816 --> 00:44:11,901
Come on, Howard,
I was just kidding.
909
00:44:13,444 --> 00:44:14,654
Night.
910
00:44:21,327 --> 00:44:22,578
(SIGHS)
911
00:44:27,959 --> 00:44:29,210
(GASPS)
912
00:44:29,418 --> 00:44:30,419
(EXCLAIMS)
913
00:44:31,587 --> 00:44:32,755
My God!
914
00:44:33,256 --> 00:44:35,800
This relationship, it defies
all the laws of nature.
915
00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:37,343
No, it doesn't.
916
00:44:37,426 --> 00:44:38,845
This is not what you think.
917
00:44:38,928 --> 00:44:40,930
We're just very good friends.
918
00:44:41,013 --> 00:44:42,515
(EXCLAIMS)
919
00:44:42,598 --> 00:44:43,558
Phil!
920
00:44:43,641 --> 00:44:45,101
Oh, I'm sorry.
The door was open.
921
00:44:45,184 --> 00:44:46,394
Who the hell are they?
922
00:44:46,853 --> 00:44:50,690
This is my friend Carter, and this is Dr.
Walter Jenning,
923
00:44:50,773 --> 00:44:53,109
and I told 'em
all about you, Howard.
924
00:44:53,192 --> 00:44:54,861
You were obviously right.
925
00:44:54,944 --> 00:44:56,946
Show him the evidence.
926
00:44:57,029 --> 00:44:58,281
What evidence?
927
00:44:58,364 --> 00:45:01,617
We tested them, and they're
both from the same fowl.
928
00:45:01,993 --> 00:45:03,035
You, Howard.
929
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,621
My feathers?
930
00:45:05,705 --> 00:45:07,957
Howard! Howard,
don't go berserk! No!
931
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,543
On my planet, we never
say die, we say kill!
932
00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:13,170
Now, wait a minute. Listen
to me, small visitor.
933
00:45:15,298 --> 00:45:17,383
I can explain how you got here.
934
00:45:17,717 --> 00:45:18,801
Hmm?
935
00:45:20,469 --> 00:45:23,389
CARTER: Dr. Jenning is in charge of
the astrophysics lab at Dynatechnics.
936
00:45:23,472 --> 00:45:24,807
Now, on the night
of September 8...
937
00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:26,100
That's the night
that Howard landed.
938
00:45:26,183 --> 00:45:28,227
Yes, now, on that night,
we were initiating
939
00:45:28,311 --> 00:45:31,063
our first full-scale test
of the laser spectroscope.
940
00:45:31,147 --> 00:45:32,815
This was shot
during the experiment.
941
00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:35,818
It was just a routine
procedure meant to measure
942
00:45:35,902 --> 00:45:38,779
the density of the gases
that surround Alpha Centauri.
943
00:45:38,863 --> 00:45:41,073
However, partway through
the experiment,
944
00:45:41,157 --> 00:45:46,787
there was a deviation and we lost
control of the laser spectroscope.
945
00:45:47,079 --> 00:45:49,040
What do you mean, lost control?
946
00:45:49,123 --> 00:45:54,337
Some unknown force was redirecting the
laser beam from its original target
947
00:45:54,420 --> 00:45:56,422
so that it hit
your planet instead.
948
00:45:56,505 --> 00:45:59,550
Hit my planet? How about
hit my living room?
949
00:45:59,634 --> 00:46:01,218
Talk about an
invasion of privacy.
950
00:46:01,302 --> 00:46:03,554
When the beam hit, you
must have been caught up
951
00:46:03,638 --> 00:46:05,598
in a massive energy inversion
952
00:46:05,681 --> 00:46:08,267
which literally
dragged you through space
953
00:46:08,351 --> 00:46:10,853
back to the power source
here on Earth.
954
00:46:10,937 --> 00:46:12,188
Radical.
955
00:46:12,271 --> 00:46:16,233
JENNING: In the lab that night,
we saw a single feather fall.
956
00:46:20,446 --> 00:46:21,489
Oh.
957
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,117
We weren't aware that
the rest of you, Howard,
958
00:46:25,201 --> 00:46:28,204
had landed in that alley
just 2 miles away.
959
00:46:28,287 --> 00:46:29,455
Any questions?
960
00:46:29,538 --> 00:46:31,624
Yeah. Where are my pants?
961
00:46:33,042 --> 00:46:34,085
Howard, where are you going?
962
00:46:34,168 --> 00:46:35,795
To this lab of theirs.
What for?
963
00:46:36,212 --> 00:46:38,589
To hop back on board
that laser thing.
964
00:46:38,673 --> 00:46:42,176
Then all you have to do is hit the reverse
lever to send me back home, right?
965
00:46:42,718 --> 00:46:45,096
Well, we hadn't considered
reversing the process.
966
00:46:45,221 --> 00:46:46,555
I don't think it's feasible.
Me either.
967
00:46:46,639 --> 00:46:48,766
Now, wait a minute.
If we could generate
968
00:46:48,849 --> 00:46:50,393
a strong enough hypercharge...
969
00:46:50,476 --> 00:46:51,519
You can't do that.
970
00:46:51,602 --> 00:46:54,313
You mean the reflex mode might
provoke a total reversal.
971
00:46:54,397 --> 00:46:56,148
It just might be possible.
It won't work.
972
00:46:56,232 --> 00:46:57,483
Yeah.
Sir...
973
00:46:57,566 --> 00:46:58,734
Don't listen to them, Howard.
974
00:46:58,818 --> 00:47:01,362
I have got you booked
on A.M. Cleveland.
975
00:47:01,445 --> 00:47:03,823
We can get the cover
of Science Digest...
976
00:47:03,906 --> 00:47:04,907
Butt out, four-eyes.
977
00:47:04,991 --> 00:47:06,033
BEVERLY: Yeah.
978
00:47:06,117 --> 00:47:08,536
Look, you guys, could you
really send him back?
979
00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:11,288
JENNING: If we did, we could
establish a continuing link
980
00:47:11,372 --> 00:47:12,999
between our planets,
981
00:47:13,082 --> 00:47:15,501
but he would have to leave tonight,
while the alignment still exists.
982
00:47:15,584 --> 00:47:16,794
We can't afford to wait.
983
00:47:16,877 --> 00:47:19,338
You mean I'm finally
gonna breeze this flytrap?
984
00:47:19,422 --> 00:47:20,965
Ducky, this is what you wanted.
985
00:47:21,048 --> 00:47:22,174
You're going home.
986
00:47:22,258 --> 00:47:23,509
Yeah.
JENNING: Right.
987
00:47:23,592 --> 00:47:26,512
Carter, call Larry. Have him set
up the initiation procedure.
988
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:27,888
Tell him I'll meet him
at the lab right away.
989
00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:29,807
You and Blumburtt
can bring Howard.
990
00:47:29,890 --> 00:47:33,728
You are about to make history a
second time, my little friend.
991
00:47:33,811 --> 00:47:36,272
Thanks. But once was plenty.
992
00:47:37,314 --> 00:47:38,357
Get to it.
Right.
993
00:47:38,441 --> 00:47:41,986
You know, Howard, we could
hold out for a PBS special...
994
00:47:42,069 --> 00:47:43,154
Phil.
995
00:47:43,863 --> 00:47:46,615
HOWARD: Bev, get dressed.
Aren't you gonna see me off?
996
00:47:46,699 --> 00:47:50,619
Sure, I am. I just hope they
let you take a carry-on bag.
997
00:47:50,703 --> 00:47:53,914
Look, I'm gonna put in these
Polaroids that we took at the club.
998
00:47:53,998 --> 00:47:55,374
Thanks.
999
00:47:55,458 --> 00:47:56,876
These'll help.
1000
00:47:56,959 --> 00:47:59,628
The guys back home
are never gonna believe me.
1001
00:47:59,712 --> 00:48:00,963
(CHUCKLES)
1002
00:48:01,547 --> 00:48:02,798
What's this in my bed?
1003
00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:05,926
Souvenirs?
1004
00:48:07,094 --> 00:48:09,388
I'm gonna miss you a lot, Ducky.
1005
00:48:10,139 --> 00:48:12,975
Bev, I don't belong here.
1006
00:48:13,059 --> 00:48:14,977
You know I've gotta go.
1007
00:48:16,937 --> 00:48:18,189
Yeah.
1008
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,985
(BARKS)
1009
00:48:29,784 --> 00:48:31,744
Lilly had the dolphins,
1010
00:48:31,827 --> 00:48:32,828
Cousteau, the whales,
1011
00:48:33,496 --> 00:48:35,039
Goodall, gorillas.
1012
00:48:35,664 --> 00:48:37,124
I had a duck.
1013
00:48:38,584 --> 00:48:40,002
I could have been a contender.
1014
00:48:44,048 --> 00:48:45,549
Bev...
1015
00:48:45,633 --> 00:48:49,011
I'm not a real sentimental guy.
1016
00:48:49,095 --> 00:48:53,599
No. I bet you were born from
a very hardboiled egg, Ducky.
1017
00:48:53,682 --> 00:48:55,017
Yeah.
1018
00:48:55,101 --> 00:48:57,853
But I do keep wondering...
1019
00:48:58,687 --> 00:49:02,775
Of all the alleys in the world I
could have fallen into that night,
1020
00:49:02,858 --> 00:49:04,985
why did it have to be yours?
1021
00:49:05,736 --> 00:49:07,863
Because, right now,
1022
00:49:07,947 --> 00:49:09,448
you're the one and only thing
1023
00:49:09,532 --> 00:49:12,368
that's making it very
hard for me to leave.
1024
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,545
(PHONE RINGING)
1025
00:49:27,383 --> 00:49:28,467
There's no guard.
1026
00:49:28,551 --> 00:49:29,885
Oh. We should
go back, then, huh?
1027
00:49:29,969 --> 00:49:31,387
Phil...
What?
1028
00:49:31,470 --> 00:49:32,638
Drive.
1029
00:49:49,321 --> 00:49:50,322
(ALARM BLARING)
1030
00:49:50,406 --> 00:49:51,991
What are these alarms?
1031
00:49:52,074 --> 00:49:53,492
Something's happened.
What's happened?
1032
00:49:53,576 --> 00:49:54,743
I don't know.
1033
00:49:54,827 --> 00:49:57,121
That is really cool. Right.
1034
00:49:57,204 --> 00:49:59,123
Hold it. Security.
1035
00:50:01,125 --> 00:50:03,419
(SCREAMING) My eyes! My eyes!
1036
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,006
It exploded again!
It was terrible!
1037
00:50:07,089 --> 00:50:10,843
We have no right to
tamper with the universe!
1038
00:50:10,926 --> 00:50:12,219
(GROANING)
1039
00:50:13,762 --> 00:50:15,764
This does not bode well.
1040
00:50:17,099 --> 00:50:18,100
Hmm.
1041
00:50:19,226 --> 00:50:20,227
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
1042
00:50:20,311 --> 00:50:21,687
Is he okay?
1043
00:50:24,565 --> 00:50:26,525
Whoa!
BEVERLY: Holy Toledo!
1044
00:50:26,609 --> 00:50:28,152
MAN 1: Put it here! Come on!
1045
00:50:28,235 --> 00:50:31,614
Get out of the way! It's still hot!
Get over here!
1046
00:50:32,281 --> 00:50:33,866
Shut down the laser system!
1047
00:50:33,949 --> 00:50:36,035
Drop the emergency shield!
1048
00:50:36,118 --> 00:50:37,786
Get that platform stabilized!
1049
00:50:37,870 --> 00:50:39,747
MAN 2:
Where's Jenning?
1050
00:50:47,630 --> 00:50:50,007
WOMAN: You get over here now!
Come on, come on!
1051
00:50:50,090 --> 00:50:51,383
BEVERLY: Howard,
where are you going?
1052
00:50:51,926 --> 00:50:53,552
Larry, where's Dr. Jenning?
1053
00:50:53,636 --> 00:50:55,221
Carter, come here,
let me show you this.
1054
00:50:55,304 --> 00:50:57,014
He was pre-activating
the laser spectroscope.
1055
00:50:57,097 --> 00:50:58,098
Uh-huh.
1056
00:50:58,182 --> 00:51:00,601
We lost control again and
there was another explosion,
1057
00:51:00,684 --> 00:51:03,229
and Jenning caught the full
force of the blast this time.
1058
00:51:03,312 --> 00:51:04,897
Is he all right?
Where is he?
1059
00:51:04,980 --> 00:51:07,691
You see, the bottom of the
spectroscope blew into the wall,
1060
00:51:07,775 --> 00:51:09,818
and Jenning just...
Just disappeared.
1061
00:51:09,902 --> 00:51:14,240
Excuse me, but is this
gonna delay my takeoff?
1062
00:51:14,323 --> 00:51:16,075
Is that...
Is that it?
1063
00:51:17,368 --> 00:51:18,661
That's unbelievable!
1064
00:51:18,744 --> 00:51:22,164
Yeah. We brought Howard down
the first time, but what if...
1065
00:51:22,248 --> 00:51:25,626
Oh, my God, Larry, what if we've
brought down something else this time?
1066
00:51:29,004 --> 00:51:30,798
We're rounding up all the
scientists for you in the lab, sir,
1067
00:51:30,881 --> 00:51:34,176
but I think you'd better take a
look at this other thing first.
1068
00:51:34,260 --> 00:51:36,762
A thing, Hanson?
1069
00:51:36,845 --> 00:51:39,056
Is that the kind of precise
descriptive techniques
1070
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:41,892
they're teaching rookies
nowadays? A thing?
1071
00:51:41,976 --> 00:51:44,478
I want to know what they're
doing with Howard.
1072
00:51:44,561 --> 00:51:46,397
Excuse me,
are you in charge here?
1073
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,481
Yeah, why?
1074
00:51:47,564 --> 00:51:49,817
Well, I want to know why
they're harassing Howard.
1075
00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:50,901
Who's Howard?
1076
00:51:50,985 --> 00:51:52,069
He had nothing to do with it.
1077
00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:54,363
Howard is just
an innocent, um...
1078
00:51:54,446 --> 00:51:55,447
Thing?
1079
00:51:55,531 --> 00:51:56,782
No. Duck.
1080
00:51:57,992 --> 00:52:00,119
Just an innocent duck?
1081
00:52:00,202 --> 00:52:02,079
And they wonder why I'm
asking for early retirement.
1082
00:52:02,162 --> 00:52:03,122
You deal with this.
1083
00:52:03,205 --> 00:52:04,999
Wait a second.
You can't...
1084
00:52:05,082 --> 00:52:07,293
Kirby. You got
a thing in here?
1085
00:52:07,376 --> 00:52:09,128
Uh, thing.
Mmm-hmm.
1086
00:52:10,879 --> 00:52:14,091
I've had enough.
I want to see my lawyer.
1087
00:52:14,174 --> 00:52:15,968
(LAUGHING)
1088
00:52:16,051 --> 00:52:18,637
I've got rights, you know.
I'm suing.
1089
00:52:18,721 --> 00:52:19,722
Yeah.
1090
00:52:21,557 --> 00:52:22,725
God damn it, Hanson, get in here
1091
00:52:22,850 --> 00:52:24,727
and get this frigging duck
suit off this nut. Sir.
1092
00:52:25,811 --> 00:52:26,812
Uh-oh.
1093
00:52:26,895 --> 00:52:27,855
All right, get a hold of him.
1094
00:52:27,938 --> 00:52:30,399
Hey! Hey, let me go,
you big gorillas!
1095
00:52:30,482 --> 00:52:32,401
HOWARD: On my planet,
we never say die,
1096
00:52:32,484 --> 00:52:34,570
we say...
Not my shorts!
1097
00:52:34,653 --> 00:52:35,946
Find that damn zipper!
1098
00:52:36,739 --> 00:52:38,991
You perverts!
1099
00:52:39,074 --> 00:52:40,242
Uh, lieutenant...
1100
00:52:40,326 --> 00:52:41,744
Lieutenant, there's no zipper!
1101
00:52:41,827 --> 00:52:43,746
There's no buttons,
no Velcro, sir.
1102
00:52:43,829 --> 00:52:46,749
I think the suspect's duckness
is, like, inborn, sir.
1103
00:52:46,832 --> 00:52:48,334
I think he's for real.
1104
00:52:48,417 --> 00:52:51,128
HOWARD: If your goons are finished...
Let go!
1105
00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:52,796
Ow, ow!
1106
00:52:53,422 --> 00:52:56,925
I'd like a word with those
so-called scientists out there.
1107
00:52:57,009 --> 00:52:58,010
Oh, yeah?
What about?
1108
00:52:58,093 --> 00:53:01,638
About when they can rev up that
machine and send me back home.
1109
00:53:01,722 --> 00:53:04,475
Listen, Howard, I'm gonna go talk
to the scientists out there.
1110
00:53:04,558 --> 00:53:06,852
You are gonna go play
sitting duck in a jail cell.
1111
00:53:06,935 --> 00:53:08,854
Lieutenant,
what's the charge, sir?
1112
00:53:08,937 --> 00:53:10,439
Illegal alien.
1113
00:53:11,732 --> 00:53:12,941
Come on!
1114
00:53:13,025 --> 00:53:14,193
I'll get the car.
1115
00:53:14,276 --> 00:53:15,861
All right.
Oh, a cigar!
1116
00:53:15,944 --> 00:53:19,823
(EXCLAIMS) All right, that's how
it starts, police brutality!
1117
00:53:19,907 --> 00:53:21,450
Hey, stop manhandling him!
1118
00:53:21,533 --> 00:53:22,910
Hey, you can't come in here.
1119
00:53:23,410 --> 00:53:25,996
Ah. Here's another one,
already lit.
1120
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,831
Oh, nuts!
I dropped my cigar!
1121
00:53:27,915 --> 00:53:28,916
Fire!
1122
00:53:28,999 --> 00:53:30,250
Fire.
Oh, jeez, that's all I need.
1123
00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:31,627
So long, copper!
1124
00:53:31,710 --> 00:53:32,961
(GROWLS)
1125
00:53:35,130 --> 00:53:37,174
Desperate ducks
commit desperate acts.
1126
00:53:39,385 --> 00:53:40,386
Freeze!
1127
00:53:42,971 --> 00:53:43,972
Book him, Ducko.
1128
00:53:44,681 --> 00:53:46,433
Give her the keys
to the cuffs, flatfoot.
1129
00:53:48,352 --> 00:53:49,686
(COCKING GUN) Yeah.
1130
00:53:49,770 --> 00:53:51,063
(EXHALES)
1131
00:53:51,522 --> 00:53:53,273
What are you doing here tonight?
You got no ID.
1132
00:53:53,357 --> 00:53:54,525
Lieutenant!
What?
1133
00:53:54,608 --> 00:53:55,984
The duck got away.
Ah!
1134
00:53:56,068 --> 00:53:57,903
Get up, fool.
Get him out of here.
1135
00:53:57,986 --> 00:53:59,863
POLICEMAN: Over here,
on the double!
1136
00:53:59,947 --> 00:54:01,657
Okay, I want this guy.
1137
00:54:01,740 --> 00:54:04,493
The suspect is 3'1 " tall.
1138
00:54:04,576 --> 00:54:05,911
3'2", thank you.
1139
00:54:05,994 --> 00:54:08,372
You heard me.
He's armed.
1140
00:54:08,455 --> 00:54:10,999
That means he's got
a weapon, right?
1141
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:14,211
That also means he's dangerous.
1142
00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:15,254
Moi?
1143
00:54:15,337 --> 00:54:17,297
Extremely dangerous.
1144
00:54:19,133 --> 00:54:20,634
Shoot to kill!
1145
00:54:21,844 --> 00:54:23,095
(BOTH GULP)
1146
00:54:23,178 --> 00:54:24,763
Let's move it out!
Come on!
1147
00:54:24,847 --> 00:54:26,265
(POLICEMEN SHOUTING)
1148
00:54:26,348 --> 00:54:27,391
MAN: Richard,
come with me!
1149
00:54:30,060 --> 00:54:33,272
Okay, let's go.
1150
00:54:39,611 --> 00:54:40,612
(GASPS)
1151
00:54:40,696 --> 00:54:41,822
No, don't shoot!
We give up!
1152
00:54:41,905 --> 00:54:43,699
Time out!
We surrender!
1153
00:54:44,491 --> 00:54:45,868
(GROANS)
1154
00:54:46,201 --> 00:54:47,202
Dr. Jenning?
1155
00:54:47,828 --> 00:54:48,829
What?
1156
00:54:51,957 --> 00:54:53,459
More cops.
Come on, hurry!
1157
00:54:53,542 --> 00:54:54,585
What?
1158
00:54:54,668 --> 00:54:55,878
Get over here, doc!
1159
00:54:55,961 --> 00:54:57,296
Howard. Howard.
1160
00:54:57,379 --> 00:54:58,422
HOWARD: What?
1161
00:54:58,505 --> 00:54:59,715
(GROANS)
1162
00:55:01,967 --> 00:55:04,094
The laser spectroscope
malfunctioned again.
1163
00:55:04,178 --> 00:55:06,472
There was
a tremendous explosion,
1164
00:55:06,555 --> 00:55:09,266
and then I must've blacked out.
1165
00:55:09,349 --> 00:55:12,102
Then I suddenly
find myself out here!
1166
00:55:15,772 --> 00:55:16,899
They after you?
1167
00:55:16,982 --> 00:55:19,318
Does "shoot to kill"
sound serious?
1168
00:55:19,735 --> 00:55:21,028
I'm probably finished, too.
1169
00:55:21,111 --> 00:55:22,112
(GROANING)
1170
00:55:22,529 --> 00:55:24,823
These experiments
were unauthorized.
1171
00:55:24,907 --> 00:55:26,241
They're probably
gonna blame me...
1172
00:55:26,325 --> 00:55:27,326
(GROANS)
1173
00:55:29,119 --> 00:55:30,913
Oh, my God.
You need help.
1174
00:55:31,288 --> 00:55:32,998
Howard, maybe we all
should get out of here, huh?
1175
00:55:33,081 --> 00:55:34,791
You got a car, doc?
1176
00:55:39,755 --> 00:55:42,174
What's wrong with me?
There's the back gate.
1177
00:55:42,841 --> 00:55:44,218
BEVERLY: Good.
There's no cops.
1178
00:55:44,301 --> 00:55:46,345
(GRUNTING) I don't have
a gate key.
1179
00:55:46,428 --> 00:55:48,472
You've got a foot,
don't you? So step on it!
1180
00:55:49,932 --> 00:55:51,433
(ALL SCREAMING)
1181
00:55:53,268 --> 00:55:54,895
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1182
00:55:56,396 --> 00:55:59,024
Lieutenant, a car crashed out the
back gate headed towards Highway 5!
1183
00:55:59,149 --> 00:56:01,109
All right, get out an all points
bulletin right now. Yes, sir!
1184
00:56:02,945 --> 00:56:06,782
How the hell am I gonna
explain a manhunt for a duck?
1185
00:56:06,865 --> 00:56:07,950
It's a duck hunt.
1186
00:56:08,033 --> 00:56:11,620
Hanson, please don't.
Don't start. Please, please.
1187
00:56:12,663 --> 00:56:14,081
You've got to understand.
1188
00:56:14,164 --> 00:56:15,791
I'm telling you,
I saw something!
1189
00:56:15,874 --> 00:56:17,960
Doc, you're in shock
from the explosion
1190
00:56:18,043 --> 00:56:19,628
and you're imagining things!
Uh-uh.
1191
00:56:19,711 --> 00:56:21,046
Watch where you're going,
damn it!
1192
00:56:21,129 --> 00:56:22,631
(ALL SCREAMING)
1193
00:56:29,304 --> 00:56:31,306
Listen, an evil has landed.
1194
00:56:31,390 --> 00:56:33,392
The world is in great danger.
1195
00:56:33,475 --> 00:56:35,894
Yeah, it certainly is when
you're out on the highway.
1196
00:56:35,978 --> 00:56:37,104
Look out!
1197
00:56:42,859 --> 00:56:44,236
You're gonna get us killed!
1198
00:56:44,319 --> 00:56:48,448
Feels like something inside
me, gnawing at my guts.
1199
00:56:48,532 --> 00:56:49,700
What's wrong with me?
1200
00:56:49,783 --> 00:56:51,326
Well, what did you
have for lunch?
1201
00:56:51,410 --> 00:56:52,411
(TIRES SQUEAL)
1202
00:56:52,494 --> 00:56:54,746
HOWARD: Oh, my! Oh, my!
1203
00:56:54,830 --> 00:56:56,331
(ALL YELLING)
1204
00:56:56,415 --> 00:56:58,208
(TRUCK HORN BLARING)
1205
00:56:59,334 --> 00:57:00,544
BEVERLY: The road's
over there!
1206
00:57:04,047 --> 00:57:05,757
(GROANING)
1207
00:57:05,841 --> 00:57:07,551
Come on, give us a break!
1208
00:57:07,634 --> 00:57:08,802
Don't close your eyes!
1209
00:57:08,885 --> 00:57:09,886
The pain.
1210
00:57:09,970 --> 00:57:12,556
It's like
I'm transforming inside.
1211
00:57:12,639 --> 00:57:15,434
I'm afraid I'm about
to become something else.
1212
00:57:15,517 --> 00:57:17,144
Oh, great! Like a sex
change or something.
1213
00:57:17,227 --> 00:57:18,854
Something's growing inside me.
1214
00:57:18,937 --> 00:57:21,815
It's replicating and superseding
all my internal organs.
1215
00:57:21,898 --> 00:57:23,233
Well, we'll stop at a bathroom.
1216
00:57:23,317 --> 00:57:24,443
(GROANS)
1217
00:57:24,526 --> 00:57:25,861
That monstrous shape I saw!
1218
00:57:25,944 --> 00:57:26,945
(GASPS)
1219
00:57:27,029 --> 00:57:28,447
(HORN HONKING)
1220
00:57:28,530 --> 00:57:29,906
(BEVERLY SCREAMING)
1221
00:57:30,616 --> 00:57:31,617
Jenning!
1222
00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:33,452
It's inside my body!
1223
00:57:33,535 --> 00:57:36,622
This guy's delirious!
He's not making any sense!
1224
00:57:36,705 --> 00:57:39,124
It's too late! The end
of the world is coming.
1225
00:57:39,207 --> 00:57:42,127
(SINISTER VOICE) And I
will be the cause of it!
1226
00:57:42,210 --> 00:57:43,962
Jenning, slow down!
1227
00:57:44,046 --> 00:57:46,214
Steer, you big yo-yo!
Steer!
1228
00:57:46,298 --> 00:57:49,176
(HOWARD SCREAMING)
1229
00:57:52,054 --> 00:57:54,181
Howard!
Step on the brake!
1230
00:57:54,264 --> 00:57:55,265
Who, me?
1231
00:57:55,349 --> 00:57:56,892
No, I'll step on the brake!
1232
00:58:02,397 --> 00:58:03,482
Oh!
1233
00:58:03,565 --> 00:58:05,776
Oh, no! White line!
Wrong lane!
1234
00:58:06,818 --> 00:58:08,403
(ALL YELLING)
1235
00:58:17,412 --> 00:58:19,247
The brake!
Push, Beverly! Push!
1236
00:58:19,331 --> 00:58:20,666
I'm trying!
1237
00:58:32,427 --> 00:58:33,470
(GROANS)
1238
00:58:36,181 --> 00:58:37,766
I'm dead.
1239
00:58:37,849 --> 00:58:39,601
(SINISTER VOICE)
Yes! You are!
1240
00:58:39,685 --> 00:58:41,186
You think that's funny, Jenning?
1241
00:58:41,269 --> 00:58:42,938
I'm not Jenning anymore!
1242
00:58:43,021 --> 00:58:45,190
The transformation is complete!
1243
00:58:45,273 --> 00:58:48,610
I am now someone else.
1244
00:58:48,694 --> 00:58:51,029
Try telling that
to your insurance company.
1245
00:58:51,113 --> 00:58:52,739
I think he needs some coffee.
1246
00:58:52,823 --> 00:58:54,074
Come on.
1247
00:59:05,085 --> 00:59:06,670
Oh, after you.
1248
00:59:08,547 --> 00:59:09,881
Uh-oh.
1249
00:59:09,965 --> 00:59:11,174
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
1250
00:59:11,258 --> 00:59:13,301
(HUMMING)
1251
00:59:17,013 --> 00:59:18,014
Hmm?
1252
00:59:19,307 --> 00:59:20,350
Hey!
Sorry.
1253
00:59:20,434 --> 00:59:23,145
This is why I hate
the night shift!
1254
00:59:24,479 --> 00:59:27,566
I'm sorry! We don't allow
pets on the premises.
1255
00:59:27,649 --> 00:59:30,610
Hey! Have a heart!
1256
00:59:30,694 --> 00:59:32,320
Seeing-eye duck!
1257
00:59:33,572 --> 00:59:35,240
Touching, isn't it?
1258
00:59:35,741 --> 00:59:37,409
(GROWLING)
Ah! Not so tight!
1259
00:59:37,492 --> 00:59:39,327
What are you doing?
Falling in love?
1260
00:59:40,495 --> 00:59:41,913
Sit down.
1261
00:59:41,997 --> 00:59:43,290
I need a beer bad.
1262
00:59:43,373 --> 00:59:44,791
Gotta find a waitress. Yeah.
1263
00:59:44,875 --> 00:59:45,876
(WHISTLES)
1264
00:59:45,959 --> 00:59:46,918
(SIGHS)
1265
00:59:47,002 --> 00:59:49,004
Hey, honey! Yo!
1266
00:59:49,087 --> 00:59:50,839
Yeah, I'm coming.
1267
00:59:51,673 --> 00:59:52,841
Here she comes.
1268
00:59:52,924 --> 00:59:54,593
Wow!
1269
00:59:54,676 --> 00:59:56,720
Your kid's costume
is really radical!
1270
00:59:56,803 --> 00:59:57,763
I'll bet he's crazy about
1271
00:59:57,846 --> 00:59:59,431
(GROWLING)
1272
00:59:59,514 --> 01:00:00,515
it.
1273
01:00:00,599 --> 01:00:02,142
Yeah. I'm very
attached to it.
1274
01:00:03,351 --> 01:00:06,104
Your dad...
Sort of in his own space.
1275
01:00:06,188 --> 01:00:07,814
What do you think
he'd like to eat?
1276
01:00:07,898 --> 01:00:10,609
I no longer need human food.
1277
01:00:11,526 --> 01:00:12,611
Mmm-mmm.
1278
01:00:12,694 --> 01:00:13,737
WAITRESS: I know it's a drag,
1279
01:00:13,820 --> 01:00:15,781
but you're gonna have to order
some food if you want to sit here,
1280
01:00:15,864 --> 01:00:17,866
so how about the
specials on the menu?
1281
01:00:21,203 --> 01:00:25,081
You are about to witness
the end of the old world
1282
01:00:25,165 --> 01:00:27,125
and the birth of the new.
1283
01:00:27,209 --> 01:00:28,210
(BOTH SIGHING)
1284
01:00:28,293 --> 01:00:32,672
Hey! Is he, like, one of those
TV evangelists or something?
1285
01:00:32,756 --> 01:00:34,216
Or something.
1286
01:00:34,299 --> 01:00:35,675
I'm gonna kill somebody.
1287
01:00:35,759 --> 01:00:36,843
It's okay, Howard.
1288
01:00:36,927 --> 01:00:38,970
Why don't we just have three
specials and three beers?
1289
01:00:39,054 --> 01:00:40,222
Right.
1290
01:00:40,889 --> 01:00:42,224
(GROWLING)
1291
01:00:42,974 --> 01:00:44,476
Poor girl.
1292
01:00:44,559 --> 01:00:47,896
Listen! Dr. J?
Yoo-hoo!
1293
01:00:48,438 --> 01:00:51,358
If you can tune back into
reality for a second.
1294
01:00:51,441 --> 01:00:53,318
I don't understand anything
you're talking about.
1295
01:00:53,401 --> 01:00:54,402
Mmm-mmm.
1296
01:00:54,486 --> 01:00:58,573
All I know is I need that
laser machine to get me home.
1297
01:00:58,657 --> 01:01:00,408
Is it still working, Jenning?
1298
01:01:00,492 --> 01:01:01,660
Jenning!
1299
01:01:01,743 --> 01:01:06,581
I told you, bird brain,
I am not Jenning anymore.
1300
01:01:06,665 --> 01:01:11,086
I am now one of the Dark
Overlords of the Universe.
1301
01:01:11,545 --> 01:01:14,172
"Dark Overlord of the Universe"?
1302
01:01:14,256 --> 01:01:16,174
That must be quite
a responsibility.
1303
01:01:16,258 --> 01:01:20,804
Tonight, the laser beam
hit the Nexus of Sominus.
1304
01:01:20,887 --> 01:01:22,681
What is that?
A suburb of Cleveland?
1305
01:01:22,764 --> 01:01:23,765
(LAUGHING)
1306
01:01:23,849 --> 01:01:25,851
It lies beyond the planets.
1307
01:01:25,934 --> 01:01:28,937
It is a region of demons
1308
01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:33,191
to which we Dark Overlords
were exiled eons ago.
1309
01:01:33,275 --> 01:01:35,610
I hope you're getting all this.
1310
01:01:35,694 --> 01:01:39,364
Howard, what I'm getting is that
this man is very, very sick.
1311
01:01:39,447 --> 01:01:42,409
Just as you were brought
down here accidentally,
1312
01:01:42,492 --> 01:01:48,456
tonight the laser beam released
me from that region of demons
1313
01:01:48,540 --> 01:01:52,377
and pulled me down
into that lab.
1314
01:01:52,460 --> 01:01:53,962
Small universe.
1315
01:01:54,713 --> 01:01:59,217
During the explosion,
I entered Jenning's body.
1316
01:02:00,093 --> 01:02:01,177
So...
1317
01:02:04,180 --> 01:02:06,892
I have disguised my true form,
1318
01:02:06,975 --> 01:02:12,814
which would be considered
hideous and revolting here.
1319
01:02:14,316 --> 01:02:16,443
Lucky for the people eating.
Mmm-hmm.
1320
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:19,279
(SCREAMING)
1321
01:02:19,362 --> 01:02:20,822
You ordered three specials.
What's wrong?
1322
01:02:20,947 --> 01:02:25,744
This will mean the extinction
of all existing life forms.
1323
01:02:26,494 --> 01:02:27,829
You haven't even tasted it yet.
1324
01:02:28,038 --> 01:02:30,665
What do you think? I'm into
cannibalism or something?
1325
01:02:30,749 --> 01:02:34,044
Hey! Are we, like, all in
the same discussion here?
1326
01:02:34,127 --> 01:02:35,754
I'll give you a hint, doll.
1327
01:02:35,837 --> 01:02:38,840
What's white, ovoid and always
reminds me of my birthday?
1328
01:02:38,924 --> 01:02:39,925
I don't know.
1329
01:02:40,008 --> 01:02:42,177
The eggs!
Get 'em out of here!
1330
01:02:42,844 --> 01:02:44,596
Gosh!
You know...
1331
01:02:44,679 --> 01:02:47,515
Hostility is, like,
a psychic boomerang.
1332
01:02:48,433 --> 01:02:50,268
I can't believe this planet.
1333
01:02:50,352 --> 01:02:52,437
Fried eggs?
Yuck!
1334
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:54,564
Just bring the beer!
1335
01:02:54,648 --> 01:02:56,149
Howard! Howard!
1336
01:02:56,232 --> 01:02:57,859
(GROWLING LOUDER)
1337
01:03:01,571 --> 01:03:03,114
(BOTH GASPING)
1338
01:03:10,413 --> 01:03:11,623
What happened?
1339
01:03:11,706 --> 01:03:12,958
How the hell did you do that?
1340
01:03:13,041 --> 01:03:14,793
My powers are growing!
1341
01:03:14,876 --> 01:03:15,877
Watch out!
1342
01:03:15,961 --> 01:03:17,462
It is time now.
1343
01:03:17,545 --> 01:03:18,546
What's that?
1344
01:03:18,630 --> 01:03:20,131
It is the code key.
1345
01:03:20,215 --> 01:03:23,426
It will activate the laser
spectroscope when I use it tonight
1346
01:03:23,510 --> 01:03:26,471
to bring down the other
Dark Overlords.
1347
01:03:26,554 --> 01:03:27,555
The others?
1348
01:03:27,639 --> 01:03:30,016
Now he's got a whole gang.
Well, screw 'em.
1349
01:03:30,100 --> 01:03:31,643
I got dibs on the laser first!
1350
01:03:31,726 --> 01:03:33,937
Give me that code key.
That's my ticket home!
1351
01:03:34,479 --> 01:03:36,106
(SCREAMING)
1352
01:03:42,821 --> 01:03:44,155
HOWARD: Look at his hand!
1353
01:03:44,239 --> 01:03:45,865
That's nothing.
Look at his face!
1354
01:03:45,949 --> 01:03:51,371
Yes. Soon the Dark Overlords
will engulf the Earth.
1355
01:03:51,454 --> 01:03:54,833
Nothing human will remain here.
1356
01:03:54,916 --> 01:03:57,627
Yeah? Well, nothing duck's
remaining here, either.
1357
01:03:57,711 --> 01:03:58,670
Move! We're going!
1358
01:03:58,753 --> 01:04:00,005
You'll get the check?
1359
01:04:00,088 --> 01:04:01,089
(GROWLS)
1360
01:04:01,172 --> 01:04:02,757
Hate to eat and run.
1361
01:04:02,841 --> 01:04:03,883
Hello there.
1362
01:04:03,967 --> 01:04:05,218
Get out of the way.
1363
01:04:05,301 --> 01:04:06,720
Hey, look at the talking duck.
1364
01:04:06,803 --> 01:04:07,804
Bug off!
1365
01:04:07,887 --> 01:04:10,098
Lord! What is that?
1366
01:04:10,181 --> 01:04:12,225
You jackass!
He's a ventriloquist.
1367
01:04:12,308 --> 01:04:14,811
This guy here's doing the talking,
and this here's the dummy.
1368
01:04:14,894 --> 01:04:16,312
Go ahead.
Say something, dummy.
1369
01:04:16,396 --> 01:04:19,274
You might not want to
hear what I'll say, bozo.
1370
01:04:19,357 --> 01:04:20,358
(LAUGHING)
1371
01:04:20,442 --> 01:04:22,777
Did you make him
say that, jerk-off?
1372
01:04:22,902 --> 01:04:24,529
(GROWLING)
Oh!
1373
01:04:24,612 --> 01:04:27,449
Leave him alone. He was just
in an industrial accident.
1374
01:04:27,532 --> 01:04:28,533
(BELCHES)
1375
01:04:28,616 --> 01:04:29,576
Take a hike, cowboy!
1376
01:04:29,659 --> 01:04:31,578
You're a dead duck!
BEVERLY: Hey!
1377
01:04:31,661 --> 01:04:33,496
What's this? The key
to your duckmobile?
1378
01:04:33,580 --> 01:04:35,206
Give me that or you're
gonna be sorry.
1379
01:04:35,290 --> 01:04:37,625
You better watch out!
He's a master of quack fu!
1380
01:04:37,709 --> 01:04:39,127
I'll quack fu him!
1381
01:04:40,086 --> 01:04:41,129
Doink!
1382
01:04:41,838 --> 01:04:42,964
Going down!
1383
01:04:43,048 --> 01:04:44,591
HOWARD: Come on, Bev, run!
1384
01:04:44,674 --> 01:04:46,217
Oh, nuts!
Going up!
1385
01:04:46,301 --> 01:04:48,136
Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm sorry!
1386
01:04:48,219 --> 01:04:49,554
(SQUAWKING)
1387
01:04:50,430 --> 01:04:51,890
Howard! Howard!
1388
01:04:53,058 --> 01:04:54,309
Quack!
1389
01:04:54,392 --> 01:04:56,144
This one's for you, quacker!
1390
01:04:56,227 --> 01:04:57,353
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
1391
01:04:57,437 --> 01:04:58,730
Good shot!
1392
01:04:58,813 --> 01:05:01,691
Another hungry customer!
Yeah!
1393
01:05:01,775 --> 01:05:02,734
You!
1394
01:05:02,817 --> 01:05:05,111
Toro! Toro! Olé!
1395
01:05:06,029 --> 01:05:08,406
I'm gonna get you,
you dumb duck!
1396
01:05:08,656 --> 01:05:09,699
(GROANS)
1397
01:05:09,783 --> 01:05:11,201
Airborne!
1398
01:05:14,370 --> 01:05:15,914
You damn nut!
Go away!
1399
01:05:15,997 --> 01:05:18,041
Call the police!
Not the police.
1400
01:05:18,124 --> 01:05:19,084
Call somebody else.
1401
01:05:19,167 --> 01:05:20,168
They're gonna hurt Howard.
1402
01:05:20,251 --> 01:05:22,420
An evil unlike any
you can imagine
1403
01:05:22,504 --> 01:05:25,131
is about to engulf the Earth.
1404
01:05:25,215 --> 01:05:26,466
Oh, no, no.
1405
01:05:26,549 --> 01:05:28,009
We have fights
in here all the time.
1406
01:05:28,093 --> 01:05:31,846
HOWARD: Come and get it!
Your order's ready!
1407
01:05:32,514 --> 01:05:33,890
You gonna just sit there?
1408
01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:35,642
She took my eggs.
Oh!
1409
01:05:35,725 --> 01:05:37,143
HOWARD: One special!
1410
01:05:38,353 --> 01:05:40,355
Howard!
Beverly!
1411
01:05:41,022 --> 01:05:41,981
Howard!
1412
01:05:42,065 --> 01:05:45,318
Jenning! I could use
some help here, buddy!
1413
01:05:45,401 --> 01:05:46,945
Come on!
Let's get out of here!
1414
01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:49,572
(YELLING)
1415
01:05:49,656 --> 01:05:51,116
(LAUGHING) Yeah!
1416
01:05:51,199 --> 01:05:52,450
Howard!
1417
01:05:52,951 --> 01:05:54,202
MAN: You're not
getting away now,
1418
01:05:54,285 --> 01:05:55,411
you stupid little bird!
1419
01:05:55,495 --> 01:05:56,746
HOWARD: Now you're
ruffling my feathers!
1420
01:05:56,830 --> 01:05:58,456
Put me down,
you big hairless ape!
1421
01:05:58,540 --> 01:06:00,375
Put me down right now!
1422
01:06:00,792 --> 01:06:01,960
Put him down!
1423
01:06:02,043 --> 01:06:05,213
Howard may be a duck,
but you people are animals!
1424
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:07,132
He's my boyfriend!
1425
01:06:07,215 --> 01:06:08,716
(ALL GASP)
1426
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:09,884
(CHUCKLING)
1427
01:06:09,968 --> 01:06:11,636
That's disgusting.
1428
01:06:11,719 --> 01:06:12,804
ALL: Yeah!
1429
01:06:12,887 --> 01:06:14,639
You're not making me
proud to be a human!
1430
01:06:14,722 --> 01:06:17,016
HOWARD: Let me just pay the
check and I'm out of here!
1431
01:06:17,559 --> 01:06:18,643
(ALL CLAMORING)
1432
01:06:18,726 --> 01:06:19,894
I can't believe
you're just sitting here!
1433
01:06:19,978 --> 01:06:21,563
Look what they're
doing to Howard!
1434
01:06:21,646 --> 01:06:22,647
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
1435
01:06:22,730 --> 01:06:24,065
Oh, jeez!
1436
01:06:24,149 --> 01:06:25,358
MAN 1: Chicken-fried!
MAN 2: Duck!
1437
01:06:25,441 --> 01:06:27,318
HOWARD: Where's the SPCA
when you need 'em?
1438
01:06:27,402 --> 01:06:28,653
I am not amused!
1439
01:06:28,736 --> 01:06:31,322
MAN: I'm gonna barbecue
your bill, bird!
1440
01:06:31,406 --> 01:06:33,992
Oh, great duck in heaven,
is this the end of Howard?
1441
01:06:34,075 --> 01:06:35,326
There's gonna be more violence!
1442
01:06:35,410 --> 01:06:36,661
I hate violence!
1443
01:06:36,744 --> 01:06:38,663
You gotta go in there
and beat 'em up!
1444
01:06:38,746 --> 01:06:40,290
Jenning! Jenning!
1445
01:06:40,373 --> 01:06:42,500
Don't just sit there!
This is serious!
1446
01:06:42,584 --> 01:06:44,169
They're gonna cook me!
1447
01:06:44,252 --> 01:06:45,295
MAN 1: Take that!
1448
01:06:45,378 --> 01:06:47,005
MAN 2: Stuff him!
1449
01:06:47,088 --> 01:06:48,590
Any last words?
1450
01:06:49,841 --> 01:06:52,010
Yeah. Jenning!
1451
01:06:52,719 --> 01:06:54,137
He's my favorite duck.
1452
01:06:54,220 --> 01:06:55,972
You hardly know him.
1453
01:06:56,055 --> 01:06:58,016
Jenning!
They're seasoning me!
1454
01:06:58,099 --> 01:06:59,851
Wait.
You better let me up.
1455
01:06:59,934 --> 01:07:01,269
You don't want
to get my friend angry.
1456
01:07:01,352 --> 01:07:03,271
Oh, yeah? Why?
1457
01:07:03,354 --> 01:07:06,191
Because he's one of the Dark
Overlords of the Universe
1458
01:07:06,274 --> 01:07:09,194
and he can destroy you
and the Earth. Everything!
1459
01:07:09,277 --> 01:07:11,196
(ALL LAUGHING)
1460
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,699
Yeah. Well, I didn't
buy it at first, either.
1461
01:07:14,782 --> 01:07:16,534
Look!
They're laughing at you!
1462
01:07:16,618 --> 01:07:18,912
And they've got
Mr. Code Key.
1463
01:07:18,995 --> 01:07:21,164
(GROWLING)
1464
01:07:21,247 --> 01:07:23,124
Oh, my God.
1465
01:07:24,459 --> 01:07:25,793
One, two...
1466
01:07:25,877 --> 01:07:28,171
Wait a minute! Jenning!
1467
01:07:28,254 --> 01:07:31,466
Oh, look! I warned you!
Here he comes!
1468
01:07:32,050 --> 01:07:34,135
(GROWLS)
1469
01:07:39,766 --> 01:07:41,017
(SCREAMING)
1470
01:07:47,482 --> 01:07:48,691
He must have ate the chili.
1471
01:07:49,651 --> 01:07:51,486
Release the small waterfowl.
1472
01:07:54,447 --> 01:07:56,366
Bring me the code key, Howard.
1473
01:07:56,449 --> 01:07:57,742
Right. The code key.
1474
01:07:57,825 --> 01:08:00,411
You heard him.
Cut me loose.
1475
01:08:00,495 --> 01:08:04,290
Sounds like a bunch
of bullpucky to me!
1476
01:08:06,501 --> 01:08:07,877
Oh, my God!
1477
01:08:12,882 --> 01:08:14,175
(GROANS)
1478
01:08:15,927 --> 01:08:17,512
(ALL SCREAMING)
1479
01:08:22,308 --> 01:08:24,811
Yikes!
Oh, my God!
1480
01:08:31,234 --> 01:08:32,568
(CACKLING)
1481
01:08:33,361 --> 01:08:34,404
Are you okay, Howard?
1482
01:08:35,154 --> 01:08:36,155
(IN FALSETTO VOICE) Yes.
1483
01:08:36,698 --> 01:08:37,740
Enough of this crap!
1484
01:08:37,824 --> 01:08:39,033
You! Out of here!
1485
01:08:41,369 --> 01:08:44,664
If you can't take the heat,
get out of that kitchen!
1486
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:49,043
(ALL SCREAMING)
1487
01:08:51,671 --> 01:08:52,797
Where's the code key?
1488
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,383
It's closing time!
1489
01:09:00,430 --> 01:09:01,764
HOWARD: The code key!
1490
01:09:01,848 --> 01:09:04,892
It's not nice to fool
with a Dark Overlord.
1491
01:09:12,191 --> 01:09:15,153
MAN 1: Let me out!
MAN 2: Let me out of here!
1492
01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:23,161
They get the point, Jenning!
1493
01:09:23,244 --> 01:09:25,246
MAN: Move!
Get out of the way!
1494
01:09:33,296 --> 01:09:34,630
(SCREAMING)
1495
01:09:37,550 --> 01:09:38,551
Now's our chance.
1496
01:09:38,634 --> 01:09:40,553
Yeah. Come on.
This way.
1497
01:09:42,764 --> 01:09:44,515
Cut it out, Howard.
1498
01:09:45,475 --> 01:09:46,476
Ah! Ah! Ah!
1499
01:09:46,559 --> 01:09:47,560
(GASPS)
1500
01:09:47,643 --> 01:09:48,644
Going somewhere?
1501
01:09:49,270 --> 01:09:51,272
Yeah. Without you.
1502
01:09:51,647 --> 01:09:53,274
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1503
01:09:56,944 --> 01:09:58,404
(GASPS)
Hey!
1504
01:10:04,202 --> 01:10:06,204
Move the table out of the way!
1505
01:10:06,287 --> 01:10:07,830
BEVERLY: (GRUNTING)
Oh, God, it's stuck!
1506
01:10:07,914 --> 01:10:09,707
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?
1507
01:10:09,791 --> 01:10:11,167
(MOANING)
1508
01:10:13,169 --> 01:10:14,504
Howard, get down from there!
1509
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:17,340
Like I'm doing this on purpose!
1510
01:10:17,423 --> 01:10:19,300
Give me the code key!
1511
01:10:19,384 --> 01:10:20,843
Oh, yeah?
What if I don't?
1512
01:10:22,303 --> 01:10:24,514
Ouch! Can't you
take a joke?
1513
01:10:24,597 --> 01:10:26,349
Jeez! You broke my head!
1514
01:10:28,476 --> 01:10:29,977
(SCREAMING)
1515
01:10:38,027 --> 01:10:41,948
I will now bring down
the other Dark Overlords.
1516
01:10:42,031 --> 01:10:43,616
Hey! What about me?
1517
01:10:54,502 --> 01:10:55,503
Oh!
1518
01:10:56,045 --> 01:10:57,839
You filthy scum bucket!
1519
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,347
(SHRIEKS)
1520
01:11:14,397 --> 01:11:16,190
(GROANING)
1521
01:11:20,361 --> 01:11:21,404
Howard!
1522
01:11:23,531 --> 01:11:25,199
No! Beverly!
1523
01:11:31,706 --> 01:11:32,707
Beverly!
1524
01:11:40,548 --> 01:11:41,549
No! Look out!
1525
01:11:44,552 --> 01:11:46,804
You killed him!
You killed him!
1526
01:11:51,058 --> 01:11:54,437
Beverly! I'll find you.
1527
01:12:02,737 --> 01:12:04,572
I need your body!
1528
01:12:05,114 --> 01:12:06,949
Creep! I've heard
that one before!
1529
01:12:07,033 --> 01:12:10,495
The Dark Overlords
cannot exist on this planet
1530
01:12:10,578 --> 01:12:15,791
unless they grow
inside a human body.
1531
01:12:16,292 --> 01:12:17,710
Oh, God. No.
1532
01:12:20,171 --> 01:12:21,172
(SQUEALING)
1533
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:24,509
I hurt!
1534
01:12:24,592 --> 01:12:26,010
Need energy!
1535
01:12:29,931 --> 01:12:31,265
Watch out!
1536
01:12:34,602 --> 01:12:36,646
More energy!
1537
01:12:36,729 --> 01:12:38,231
(YELLING)
1538
01:12:43,319 --> 01:12:45,112
(SCREAMING)
1539
01:12:46,697 --> 01:12:48,741
That's the grossest!
I'm gonna puke!
1540
01:12:48,824 --> 01:12:50,576
(SNARLING)
1541
01:12:55,998 --> 01:12:57,708
Oh, God!
1542
01:12:57,792 --> 01:12:59,210
(GAGGING)
1543
01:13:11,472 --> 01:13:12,890
(CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO)
1544
01:13:12,974 --> 01:13:15,393
WAITRESS: All this I explained
to the first officer...
1545
01:13:15,476 --> 01:13:18,938
There was this big guy and
this girl and this little kid.
1546
01:13:19,021 --> 01:13:20,106
At least, I thought
it was a little kid.
1547
01:13:20,189 --> 01:13:21,190
Uh-huh.
1548
01:13:21,274 --> 01:13:23,109
Then I flashed
on reality, right? Bam!
1549
01:13:23,192 --> 01:13:24,819
Halloween's not till next month.
1550
01:13:25,570 --> 01:13:28,239
I know my rights!
Where's my baseball cap?
1551
01:13:28,322 --> 01:13:29,448
POLICEMAN: Shut up!
1552
01:13:29,532 --> 01:13:30,783
Fascist!
1553
01:13:33,327 --> 01:13:34,829
Oh. No handle.
1554
01:13:36,330 --> 01:13:37,415
(SIGHS)
1555
01:13:37,498 --> 01:13:39,125
HOWARD: Philsie!
1556
01:13:40,751 --> 01:13:42,003
Philsie!
1557
01:13:46,674 --> 01:13:49,051
Philsie! It's me!
1558
01:13:53,055 --> 01:13:54,849
(WHISPERING) Howard!
1559
01:14:03,316 --> 01:14:05,109
Howard, I got arrested
at the plant.
1560
01:14:05,192 --> 01:14:06,611
I'm gonna have
a criminal record.
1561
01:14:06,694 --> 01:14:09,071
Ah. Jenning kidnapped Beverly.
1562
01:14:09,155 --> 01:14:11,282
He's taking her back
to that science lab.
1563
01:14:11,365 --> 01:14:12,908
What? Why?
1564
01:14:12,992 --> 01:14:14,327
He's some kind of monster.
1565
01:14:14,410 --> 01:14:16,287
He's gonna bring down
more of his buddies.
1566
01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:19,081
He's got big plans,
like taking over Earth.
1567
01:14:19,165 --> 01:14:21,500
Philsie, we gotta
get out of here.
1568
01:14:21,584 --> 01:14:24,754
Howard... This door
doesn't have any handles.
1569
01:14:24,837 --> 01:14:26,589
Get a rock or something,
break this window.
1570
01:14:26,672 --> 01:14:27,632
Rock?
1571
01:14:27,715 --> 01:14:28,883
Window.
1572
01:14:30,134 --> 01:14:32,470
Let me try the door first.
1573
01:14:32,553 --> 01:14:34,305
(GRUNTING)
1574
01:14:34,388 --> 01:14:35,723
Oh.
1575
01:14:36,390 --> 01:14:37,516
How are we getting out of here?
1576
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:38,851
Come on.
1577
01:14:39,727 --> 01:14:41,604
Philsie, where are we going?
1578
01:14:46,275 --> 01:14:47,818
Hey, over here!
1579
01:14:50,071 --> 01:14:51,280
It'll be dawn soon.
1580
01:14:51,947 --> 01:14:54,158
HOWARD: Hey,
let's steal a cop car.
1581
01:14:54,241 --> 01:14:56,452
Don't you think that'd
be a little conspicuous?
1582
01:14:56,535 --> 01:14:57,578
Hitchhike. Cab.
1583
01:14:58,245 --> 01:14:59,830
What is that?
1584
01:14:59,914 --> 01:15:01,207
Huh?
1585
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:04,669
Jeez! It looks
like an airplane.
1586
01:15:04,752 --> 01:15:07,254
Well, it will be. We can put
it together in no time.
1587
01:15:07,338 --> 01:15:10,341
Somebody's weekend hobby is
gonna get us back to that lab.
1588
01:15:10,424 --> 01:15:12,802
Hey, we've got
a saying on my planet,
1589
01:15:12,885 --> 01:15:16,347
if God intended us to fly, he
wouldn't have taken away our wings.
1590
01:15:16,430 --> 01:15:18,599
That's really profound, Howard.
Could you find the tool box?
1591
01:15:19,266 --> 01:15:21,560
Yeah. I know why
you want a tool box.
1592
01:15:21,644 --> 01:15:22,978
You got a screw loose.
1593
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:32,738
(SNARLING)
1594
01:15:40,538 --> 01:15:41,539
Power.
1595
01:15:41,914 --> 01:15:43,374
(CHUCKLES)
1596
01:15:43,457 --> 01:15:44,667
Oh, no.
1597
01:15:46,711 --> 01:15:47,920
(SNARLS)
1598
01:15:48,003 --> 01:15:49,630
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1599
01:15:51,006 --> 01:15:52,466
(ROARING)
1600
01:16:03,644 --> 01:16:05,646
They just spotted the
duck and the kid. Where?
1601
01:16:05,730 --> 01:16:07,022
Behind the warehouse next door.
1602
01:16:07,106 --> 01:16:08,232
They're about to take off.
1603
01:16:08,315 --> 01:16:09,734
What do you mean, take off?
1604
01:16:09,817 --> 01:16:10,901
(SIRENS BLARING)
1605
01:16:10,985 --> 01:16:12,737
It's not doing anything.
Cops!
1606
01:16:12,820 --> 01:16:13,904
(GRUNTS)
1607
01:16:13,988 --> 01:16:15,531
Throttle! Push forward
on the throttle!
1608
01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:16,782
Okay. Yeah.
1609
01:16:16,866 --> 01:16:18,993
Full throttle!
Full throttle!
1610
01:16:20,119 --> 01:16:21,078
Cops, Philsie!
1611
01:16:21,162 --> 01:16:22,163
180, Howard!
1612
01:16:22,246 --> 01:16:23,831
Right!
1613
01:16:23,914 --> 01:16:24,957
Whoa!
1614
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:26,292
Whoa!
1615
01:16:26,375 --> 01:16:27,376
Run away!
1616
01:16:28,252 --> 01:16:30,421
(ALL SHOUTING)
1617
01:16:32,506 --> 01:16:33,799
There's cops everywhere!
1618
01:16:33,883 --> 01:16:36,343
Not in the air,
Howard! Up! Up!
1619
01:16:37,636 --> 01:16:38,637
HOWARD: Look out!
1620
01:16:39,305 --> 01:16:41,432
(ALL SHOUTING)
1621
01:16:41,515 --> 01:16:44,477
Prepare for takeoff!
1622
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,771
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1623
01:16:52,193 --> 01:16:53,778
Whoa! No! No!
1624
01:16:55,863 --> 01:16:56,864
(SHRIEKING)
1625
01:17:00,659 --> 01:17:03,078
Follow them. Bring them
down and bring them back!
1626
01:17:05,831 --> 01:17:07,124
I want that duck
1627
01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:09,210
dead or alive.
1628
01:17:09,877 --> 01:17:11,670
It's south-southwest, Howard!
1629
01:17:11,754 --> 01:17:12,880
What?
1630
01:17:13,923 --> 01:17:16,383
That way! Stay low!
1631
01:17:16,467 --> 01:17:19,512
Beverly, I'm coming
to get you, sweetheart!
1632
01:17:31,732 --> 01:17:33,609
(EXCLAIMING)
1633
01:17:44,662 --> 01:17:46,997
Help me! Help!
1634
01:17:47,081 --> 01:17:49,124
Somebody help me!
Please help me!
1635
01:17:49,208 --> 01:17:50,334
MAN: Please watch
your step.
1636
01:17:50,417 --> 01:17:51,877
I think you're all gonna
find this very interesting.
1637
01:17:51,961 --> 01:17:53,045
You know, honestly, Congressmen,
1638
01:17:53,128 --> 01:17:55,506
this Three Mile Island, China
syndrome meltdown stuff,
1639
01:17:55,589 --> 01:17:56,590
that's all history.
1640
01:17:56,674 --> 01:17:57,716
The only meltdowns around here
1641
01:17:57,800 --> 01:17:59,677
are the cheese sandwiches
in the toaster oven.
1642
01:18:01,136 --> 01:18:02,930
(SNARLS)
1643
01:18:04,682 --> 01:18:05,850
Wow!
1644
01:18:05,933 --> 01:18:09,270
These Washington guys take a
real beating on these junkets.
1645
01:18:09,353 --> 01:18:11,313
Our nuclear reactor,
1646
01:18:11,397 --> 01:18:15,693
pumping out 1 million
kilowatts of power.
1647
01:18:15,776 --> 01:18:18,779
One million kilowatts.
1648
01:18:21,282 --> 01:18:22,616
Power.
1649
01:18:22,700 --> 01:18:24,451
Yes, sir.
1650
01:18:24,535 --> 01:18:27,079
Listen, I think we could
all use a cup of coffee.
1651
01:18:27,162 --> 01:18:29,915
Help! Somebody
help me, please!
1652
01:18:29,999 --> 01:18:31,292
Help!
1653
01:18:38,966 --> 01:18:40,342
(SNARLING)
1654
01:19:00,779 --> 01:19:02,781
(ALARM BLARING)
1655
01:19:12,917 --> 01:19:14,752
Let's go, let's go.
Come on, come on, come on!
1656
01:19:14,835 --> 01:19:16,295
(MEN CLAMORING)
1657
01:19:25,971 --> 01:19:27,473
(SCREAMS)
1658
01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:30,643
I feel much better.
1659
01:19:31,685 --> 01:19:32,686
(WHIMPERING)
1660
01:19:36,774 --> 01:19:39,360
No, no, not that!
Right pedal! Right pedal!
1661
01:19:39,443 --> 01:19:40,861
(SCREAMS)
1662
01:19:42,363 --> 01:19:43,781
Damn it!
That was too close!
1663
01:19:43,864 --> 01:19:44,907
I'm just learning, here.
1664
01:19:44,990 --> 01:19:47,284
Howard, in prehistoric times,
you flew.
1665
01:19:47,368 --> 01:19:49,828
Fly, Howard!
Find your instincts.
1666
01:19:49,912 --> 01:19:51,914
Trust your birdness! Fly!
1667
01:19:51,997 --> 01:19:52,998
HOWARD: Yikes!
1668
01:20:08,722 --> 01:20:10,849
Howard, pull up!
Pull up!
1669
01:20:13,310 --> 01:20:14,728
(HOWARD EXCLAIMING)
1670
01:20:15,729 --> 01:20:16,814
Touchdown!
1671
01:20:16,897 --> 01:20:19,900
Great landing, Howard, but this
isn't gonna get us to the lab.
1672
01:20:19,984 --> 01:20:22,069
You said to follow my instincts.
1673
01:20:22,152 --> 01:20:24,238
This is my nesting instinct.
1674
01:20:24,321 --> 01:20:25,906
(HORN HONKING)
1675
01:20:25,990 --> 01:20:26,991
Oh, no!
1676
01:20:27,074 --> 01:20:28,325
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1677
01:20:28,409 --> 01:20:29,702
I'm flying blind here!
1678
01:20:29,785 --> 01:20:32,246
Shut up! You're not
flying at all!
1679
01:20:32,329 --> 01:20:33,330
Let her rip!
1680
01:20:33,414 --> 01:20:34,581
Bombs away!
1681
01:20:40,254 --> 01:20:42,297
Pull it up, Howard! We're
running out of land!
1682
01:20:42,381 --> 01:20:44,008
Oh! One step ahead!
1683
01:20:44,091 --> 01:20:45,592
PHIL: Watch out!
1684
01:21:00,899 --> 01:21:02,943
(BLOWING DUCK CALLS)
1685
01:21:10,659 --> 01:21:12,202
(ALL SHOUTING)
1686
01:21:12,286 --> 01:21:15,039
Death from the skies
to all duck hunters!
1687
01:21:16,623 --> 01:21:17,916
Tora! Tora! Tora!
1688
01:21:19,376 --> 01:21:21,545
Vengeance is mine! Yeah!
1689
01:21:21,628 --> 01:21:22,629
Howard!
1690
01:21:23,630 --> 01:21:24,965
Banzai!
1691
01:21:31,638 --> 01:21:33,432
(DUCK QUACKING)
1692
01:21:39,855 --> 01:21:42,066
Slow down!
Slow down there!
1693
01:21:43,192 --> 01:21:44,526
Hey, you!
Pull over here!
1694
01:21:55,913 --> 01:21:57,664
This is a smog
device inspection.
1695
01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:00,626
And I need...
1696
01:22:00,709 --> 01:22:02,086
Shut off the engine!
It is off!
1697
01:22:02,169 --> 01:22:03,337
Somebody's pushing.
1698
01:22:04,463 --> 01:22:05,923
(ENGINE REVVING)
1699
01:22:07,007 --> 01:22:08,717
Whiplash! Whiplash!
I'm gonna call my lawyer!
1700
01:22:08,801 --> 01:22:10,719
Shut it down!
Shut it down!
1701
01:22:10,844 --> 01:22:12,304
What the hell's wrong with you?
No...
1702
01:22:12,763 --> 01:22:13,972
(SNARLS)
1703
01:22:14,056 --> 01:22:15,641
I want to see
your license, Jack.
1704
01:22:15,974 --> 01:22:17,726
I have no license.
1705
01:22:18,352 --> 01:22:21,021
I am not Jack.
1706
01:22:21,772 --> 01:22:23,023
(SCREAMING)
1707
01:22:42,042 --> 01:22:44,711
MAN: Come on, come on!
Get out of here!
1708
01:23:01,395 --> 01:23:03,730
Smog inspection.
1709
01:23:04,022 --> 01:23:05,023
(WHIMPERS)
1710
01:23:05,107 --> 01:23:06,441
(LAUGHS)
1711
01:23:13,448 --> 01:23:14,575
What happened?
1712
01:23:17,786 --> 01:23:19,746
We gotta get out of here!
1713
01:23:24,376 --> 01:23:26,044
Damage report, Philsie.
1714
01:23:26,128 --> 01:23:30,132
Fuel hose is busted!
Rudder is wasted!
1715
01:23:30,215 --> 01:23:33,051
Basically, we're
dying here, Howard.
1716
01:23:36,221 --> 01:23:37,347
I'm bailing out.
1717
01:23:37,431 --> 01:23:39,141
No, you're not! You're
gonna get up there
1718
01:23:39,224 --> 01:23:41,310
and fix this lawn mower now!
1719
01:23:51,195 --> 01:23:52,779
Philsie, how's it going?
1720
01:23:52,863 --> 01:23:54,990
Getting close!
I'm on top of it!
1721
01:23:55,073 --> 01:23:56,366
Good.
1722
01:23:56,450 --> 01:23:57,451
(GASPS)
1723
01:24:00,162 --> 01:24:02,831
Relax, Howard.
I've almost got it.
1724
01:24:02,915 --> 01:24:04,875
(ENGINE BUZZES)
1725
01:24:04,958 --> 01:24:06,627
(SCREAMS)
1726
01:24:11,381 --> 01:24:12,549
Uh-oh.
1727
01:24:16,053 --> 01:24:17,596
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
1728
01:24:17,679 --> 01:24:19,848
Philsie, I did
a loop-the-loop!
1729
01:24:19,932 --> 01:24:21,433
I'm getting good at this!
1730
01:24:21,516 --> 01:24:22,893
I'm...
1731
01:24:22,976 --> 01:24:24,269
Hello?
1732
01:24:24,353 --> 01:24:25,395
Howard!
1733
01:24:25,479 --> 01:24:26,480
Huh?
1734
01:24:27,189 --> 01:24:28,815
Up, Howard!
1735
01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:30,901
Up!
1736
01:24:30,984 --> 01:24:32,986
Aw, jeez!
I thought I lost you.
1737
01:24:34,821 --> 01:24:37,532
Philsie, this is no time
for water sports.
1738
01:24:37,616 --> 01:24:39,576
(LAUGHING) I'm just kidding,
big guy.
1739
01:24:39,660 --> 01:24:41,036
(GROWLS)
1740
01:24:41,119 --> 01:24:42,579
(SCREAMING)
1741
01:24:53,340 --> 01:24:55,467
You scum, let me go!
1742
01:24:58,220 --> 01:24:59,888
(PHIL SCREAMING)
1743
01:25:07,354 --> 01:25:09,106
Philsie, get back up here!
1744
01:25:09,189 --> 01:25:11,817
I'm trying!
1745
01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:13,819
No! No! Don't shoot!
1746
01:25:13,902 --> 01:25:16,363
I'm an innocent hostage!
The duck's a lunatic!
1747
01:25:16,446 --> 01:25:17,614
What?
1748
01:25:17,698 --> 01:25:20,784
He's a duck terrorist!
He hijacked the plane!
1749
01:25:21,868 --> 01:25:22,828
Whoa!
1750
01:25:22,911 --> 01:25:23,912
(HORN HONKS)
1751
01:25:24,162 --> 01:25:25,163
Ahh!
1752
01:25:25,247 --> 01:25:26,248
Howard, pull it up!
1753
01:25:34,006 --> 01:25:35,340
Welcome back, Philsie!
1754
01:25:35,424 --> 01:25:37,551
Thanks! It's great
to be back, Howard!
1755
01:25:40,178 --> 01:25:42,139
Would you watch
the road, damn it?
1756
01:25:42,222 --> 01:25:45,684
(LAUGHS) Hey, another car.
No big deal.
1757
01:25:45,767 --> 01:25:50,522
Yes! Big deal! Big, big, big, big, big...
Choo-choo! Big deal!
1758
01:25:56,611 --> 01:25:57,612
No wings.
1759
01:25:57,696 --> 01:25:58,905
Welcome to the club!
1760
01:26:00,073 --> 01:26:01,074
Coming through!
1761
01:26:08,123 --> 01:26:09,875
That was a lot of fun.
I'd like to get off now.
1762
01:26:09,958 --> 01:26:11,918
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Slow down.
1763
01:26:12,002 --> 01:26:13,503
(HUMMING)
1764
01:26:13,587 --> 01:26:15,297
Slow down!
1765
01:26:15,380 --> 01:26:18,008
Relax. I'll just throttle
this baby back.
1766
01:26:18,592 --> 01:26:19,593
Yikes!
1767
01:26:20,844 --> 01:26:22,763
Philsie, I'd better tell you now.
What?
1768
01:26:22,846 --> 01:26:24,389
I can't swim!
1769
01:26:24,473 --> 01:26:26,224
PHIL: Oh, great!
1770
01:26:32,314 --> 01:26:33,607
Philsie, help!
1771
01:26:33,690 --> 01:26:36,318
(COUGHS)
Philsie, help me!
1772
01:26:36,401 --> 01:26:38,528
I never heard of a duck
that couldn't swim.
1773
01:26:38,612 --> 01:26:40,280
Shut up and save me!
1774
01:26:40,947 --> 01:26:42,574
PHIL: We've been
through hell!
1775
01:26:42,657 --> 01:26:46,953
Now, if there is some kind of monster
in here... Howard, this is crazy!
1776
01:26:47,037 --> 01:26:49,873
Phil, no duck is an island.
1777
01:26:49,956 --> 01:26:52,584
And if fate sent me
here to save Earth,
1778
01:26:52,667 --> 01:26:55,295
then Howard the duck
is ready to fight.
1779
01:26:58,507 --> 01:26:59,633
Damn.
1780
01:26:59,716 --> 01:27:01,593
(BEVERLY STRUGGLING)
1781
01:27:09,351 --> 01:27:10,852
PHIL: Yikes.
1782
01:27:10,936 --> 01:27:12,396
He's starting the spectroscope.
1783
01:27:12,479 --> 01:27:15,982
Jeez. He's gonna bring down
another Dark Overlord.
1784
01:27:16,066 --> 01:27:17,609
We gotta get Beverly
out of there.
1785
01:27:17,692 --> 01:27:19,361
Hey, take it easy, Conan.
1786
01:27:19,444 --> 01:27:20,654
What are you gonna
fight him with?
1787
01:27:20,737 --> 01:27:22,239
We gotta find some kind of...
1788
01:27:22,322 --> 01:27:25,367
Wait. Carter showed me something
here once that might do it,
1789
01:27:25,450 --> 01:27:26,743
if we can find it.
1790
01:27:28,203 --> 01:27:29,746
You'll never get away with this.
1791
01:27:29,830 --> 01:27:31,123
(SNARLS)
1792
01:27:32,165 --> 01:27:35,460
We'll find it!
Come on, Philsie.
1793
01:27:36,670 --> 01:27:38,422
You don't scare me!
1794
01:27:42,968 --> 01:27:44,219
Oh!
1795
01:27:46,513 --> 01:27:50,100
Wait. Defense research!
This is it! This is it!
1796
01:27:50,183 --> 01:27:51,393
This is locked!
1797
01:27:57,315 --> 01:27:58,650
(ALARM BLARES)
1798
01:28:01,778 --> 01:28:02,946
Okay, I know where it is.
1799
01:28:03,029 --> 01:28:05,949
It's on the right
or the left or the...
1800
01:28:06,032 --> 01:28:10,162
Ah! There it is.
The neutron disintegrator.
1801
01:28:12,205 --> 01:28:13,206
Hmm...
1802
01:28:13,290 --> 01:28:15,542
And a big lock.
1803
01:28:15,625 --> 01:28:16,918
Rats.
1804
01:28:18,420 --> 01:28:20,839
Okay. All right.
1805
01:28:20,922 --> 01:28:22,841
Turn me into a Dark Overlord.
1806
01:28:22,924 --> 01:28:24,843
I'll still spit
in your wormy face.
1807
01:28:24,926 --> 01:28:26,344
(CHUCKLES)
1808
01:28:27,554 --> 01:28:28,597
(BEEPING)
1809
01:28:29,598 --> 01:28:31,975
COMPUTER VOICE:
Welcome to Dynatechnics.
1810
01:28:32,058 --> 01:28:34,186
Authorized personnel only.
1811
01:28:34,269 --> 01:28:36,271
Please insert code key.
1812
01:28:36,354 --> 01:28:38,315
Authorized personnel only.
1813
01:28:39,274 --> 01:28:41,610
Thank you.
Hello, Dr. Jenning.
1814
01:28:41,693 --> 01:28:45,155
Please select your target
and enter target coordinates.
1815
01:28:47,240 --> 01:28:48,325
Thank you.
1816
01:28:48,408 --> 01:28:52,662
Laser spectroscope is now
targeting the Nexus of Sominus.
1817
01:28:52,746 --> 01:28:54,331
Targeting is in process.
1818
01:28:54,414 --> 01:28:56,166
(CACKLING)
1819
01:29:02,547 --> 01:29:03,673
(GRUNTING)
1820
01:29:03,757 --> 01:29:05,300
Come on, Philsie.
Hit it harder!
1821
01:29:06,384 --> 01:29:08,220
Way to go! Yeah!
1822
01:29:09,179 --> 01:29:10,347
Hurry up.
1823
01:29:10,430 --> 01:29:12,516
The neutron disintegrator
was developed for the army
1824
01:29:12,599 --> 01:29:14,768
until cost over-runs
became really embarrassing.
1825
01:29:14,851 --> 01:29:16,019
Can it stop Jenning?
1826
01:29:16,102 --> 01:29:17,103
Theoretically, yes.
1827
01:29:17,187 --> 01:29:18,772
Unfortunately,
it's never been tested.
1828
01:29:22,776 --> 01:29:24,694
COMPUTER VOICE:
Attention all personnel,
1829
01:29:24,778 --> 01:29:26,696
please clear
the upper bay stations
1830
01:29:26,780 --> 01:29:28,782
while laser doors are opening.
1831
01:29:30,992 --> 01:29:33,703
Please initiate
spectroscope extension.
1832
01:29:37,290 --> 01:29:38,291
(BEEPING)
1833
01:29:38,375 --> 01:29:40,377
Target is now locked.
1834
01:29:40,460 --> 01:29:42,295
Target is now locked.
1835
01:29:46,049 --> 01:29:48,176
Is this, like,
stick shift or automatic?
1836
01:29:48,260 --> 01:29:52,347
Howard, you have to get into firing
range without him seeing you.
1837
01:29:52,430 --> 01:29:55,976
Right. I'll sneak up on him,
and then I'll blast him.
1838
01:29:56,393 --> 01:29:59,104
COMPUTER VOICE: Do you wish to
bring the laser to full power?
1839
01:29:59,187 --> 01:30:03,316
Dr. Jenning, I repeat, do you wish
to bring the laser to full power?
1840
01:30:05,151 --> 01:30:06,570
Thank you.
1841
01:30:08,405 --> 01:30:09,739
What's this do?
1842
01:30:09,948 --> 01:30:11,324
No! That's...
1843
01:30:15,120 --> 01:30:16,329
Howard!
1844
01:30:19,833 --> 01:30:21,835
You're in big trouble now!
1845
01:30:21,918 --> 01:30:24,004
Yeah, shut up!
1846
01:30:28,550 --> 01:30:29,676
Uh...
1847
01:30:32,012 --> 01:30:33,555
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1848
01:30:38,018 --> 01:30:40,937
BEVERLY: Run, Howard!
He's in a bad mood!
1849
01:30:42,022 --> 01:30:43,690
(JENNING GROWLS LOUDLY)
1850
01:30:44,858 --> 01:30:48,445
Come on! Move!
Let's crank her up!
1851
01:30:49,738 --> 01:30:50,739
Hurry!
1852
01:30:50,822 --> 01:30:52,907
Where's that button?
It won't start!
1853
01:30:55,327 --> 01:30:57,662
Oh, my God. Ahh!
1854
01:30:59,289 --> 01:31:00,624
Watch out!
1855
01:31:01,207 --> 01:31:02,167
Jump, Howard!
1856
01:31:02,250 --> 01:31:03,293
This is our only chance!
1857
01:31:03,376 --> 01:31:04,419
Get out of there! Duck!
1858
01:31:04,502 --> 01:31:05,879
And proud of it!
1859
01:31:32,781 --> 01:31:34,449
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
1860
01:31:34,532 --> 01:31:35,992
(SNARLING)
1861
01:31:38,328 --> 01:31:40,288
Philsie?
You saved my life!
1862
01:31:41,373 --> 01:31:42,832
Are you all right?
1863
01:31:42,916 --> 01:31:44,501
Terrific, Howard.
1864
01:31:44,584 --> 01:31:45,919
It still won't start.
1865
01:31:46,461 --> 01:31:48,213
Try the seatbelt, Howard.
1866
01:31:48,296 --> 01:31:49,589
Seatbelt?
1867
01:31:50,757 --> 01:31:52,050
Whoa! Whoa!
1868
01:31:54,678 --> 01:31:56,221
(SHOUTS FOREIGN WAR CRY)
1869
01:31:58,306 --> 01:32:01,518
You little pond-hopper.
1870
01:32:07,941 --> 01:32:09,442
(SHRIEKING)
1871
01:32:14,572 --> 01:32:16,741
Go, Howard! Go!
1872
01:32:22,205 --> 01:32:23,707
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1873
01:32:25,250 --> 01:32:27,502
Oh! Talk about bad breath!
1874
01:32:31,339 --> 01:32:33,466
Turbo charge!
1875
01:32:35,635 --> 01:32:36,761
(LAUGHING TRIUMPHANTLY)
1876
01:32:36,845 --> 01:32:37,929
(SIGHS)
1877
01:32:41,141 --> 01:32:42,559
(SCOFFING)
1878
01:32:44,436 --> 01:32:46,104
Whoa!
1879
01:32:53,903 --> 01:32:55,530
Now it's my turn.
1880
01:33:05,582 --> 01:33:07,250
(MACHINE POWERS UP)
1881
01:33:11,713 --> 01:33:13,256
(CHUCKLES)
1882
01:33:15,008 --> 01:33:17,510
Dark Overlord, I want you!
1883
01:33:28,688 --> 01:33:30,690
Prepare to eat beak.
1884
01:33:33,026 --> 01:33:34,194
(WHIMPERS)
1885
01:33:44,871 --> 01:33:46,164
(GROWLS)
1886
01:33:46,247 --> 01:33:47,582
So long, sucker!
1887
01:33:52,212 --> 01:33:53,379
Howard!
1888
01:34:08,770 --> 01:34:09,813
No!
1889
01:34:12,649 --> 01:34:13,733
(MOANS)
1890
01:34:15,485 --> 01:34:16,736
Howard?
1891
01:34:18,404 --> 01:34:19,906
(WHIMPERS)
1892
01:34:21,908 --> 01:34:23,117
Howard?
1893
01:34:26,412 --> 01:34:30,667
HOWARD: (GROANING)
Oh, boy. Oh...
1894
01:34:30,750 --> 01:34:31,960
Howard.
1895
01:34:38,424 --> 01:34:39,884
Howard!
1896
01:34:39,968 --> 01:34:41,469
You all right?
1897
01:34:42,095 --> 01:34:44,472
I need this like
I need another tail.
1898
01:34:44,889 --> 01:34:45,890
You did it!
1899
01:34:45,974 --> 01:34:47,100
Hey, get me down from here!
1900
01:34:47,767 --> 01:34:49,018
Come on!
1901
01:34:49,602 --> 01:34:50,603
(JENNING MOANING)
1902
01:34:50,687 --> 01:34:51,896
Oh!
1903
01:34:54,941 --> 01:34:56,276
Dr. Jenning?
1904
01:34:56,359 --> 01:34:57,819
Howard, it's not...
1905
01:34:57,902 --> 01:34:58,903
It's not what?
1906
01:34:58,987 --> 01:35:00,572
The evil's not
inside me anymore.
1907
01:35:00,655 --> 01:35:02,866
The explosion must've
released it, and it's loose!
1908
01:35:02,949 --> 01:35:04,033
What about me?
1909
01:35:04,117 --> 01:35:05,577
The Dark Overlord is still here!
1910
01:35:05,660 --> 01:35:09,080
Well, then I suggest we get Beverly
and get the hell out of here!
1911
01:35:12,041 --> 01:35:13,501
HOWARD: Philsie,
get her down from there!
1912
01:35:15,962 --> 01:35:17,046
What took you so long?
1913
01:35:17,130 --> 01:35:20,008
Oh, nothing. Just got arrested,
shot at, handcuffed.
1914
01:35:20,133 --> 01:35:22,427
I got thrown out... I was kidnapped,
strapped to this table...
1915
01:35:22,510 --> 01:35:23,887
(GROWLING)
1916
01:35:23,970 --> 01:35:26,014
Guys! Guys!
1917
01:35:26,097 --> 01:35:27,348
...in a cigarette lighter!
1918
01:35:27,432 --> 01:35:29,183
Cigarette lighter?
That's really disgusting!
1919
01:35:29,267 --> 01:35:30,643
Guys!
BOTH: What?
1920
01:35:30,727 --> 01:35:32,270
(WHIMPERING)
1921
01:35:34,731 --> 01:35:36,858
(SNARLING)
1922
01:35:39,986 --> 01:35:41,362
(SCREAMS)
1923
01:35:52,916 --> 01:35:54,500
Oh, my God.
1924
01:36:01,257 --> 01:36:02,675
(ROARING)
1925
01:36:09,474 --> 01:36:11,976
Phil! Phil! Get up! Get up!
It's coming!
1926
01:36:12,060 --> 01:36:13,561
It's coming?
I was just resting.
1927
01:36:13,645 --> 01:36:14,646
Look!
1928
01:36:15,730 --> 01:36:20,693
There will be no escape!
1929
01:36:21,361 --> 01:36:22,904
(LOUD SHRIEK)
1930
01:36:38,544 --> 01:36:40,129
Good boy.
Stay back! Stay back!
1931
01:36:40,213 --> 01:36:41,714
Oh, boy! Oh!
1932
01:36:42,090 --> 01:36:43,466
(YELLING)
1933
01:36:43,549 --> 01:36:44,884
Howard!
1934
01:36:45,760 --> 01:36:47,512
There goes Howard!
We've got to help Howard!
1935
01:36:47,595 --> 01:36:49,013
Phil! Go!
1936
01:36:49,097 --> 01:36:50,473
We've gotta help Howard!
1937
01:36:56,521 --> 01:37:03,319
Howard!
Going somewhere, Howard?
1938
01:37:07,657 --> 01:37:10,827
There's no escape!
1939
01:37:10,910 --> 01:37:14,580
Philsie! Dr. Jenning! Mother!
1940
01:37:24,298 --> 01:37:25,925
COMPUTER VOICE:
Do you wish to activate laser?
1941
01:37:26,009 --> 01:37:27,176
Yes!
1942
01:37:27,593 --> 01:37:28,720
Thank you, Dr. Jenning.
1943
01:37:28,803 --> 01:37:30,346
He started
the activation sequence!
1944
01:37:30,430 --> 01:37:32,890
BEVERLY: He's gonna
bring down more of them!
1945
01:37:32,974 --> 01:37:34,934
You may fire when ready.
1946
01:37:40,523 --> 01:37:42,483
Four minutes to arrival.
1947
01:37:43,192 --> 01:37:44,652
(SHRIEKING)
1948
01:37:48,114 --> 01:37:49,657
(BOTH SCREAM)
1949
01:37:52,410 --> 01:37:55,038
(GROANING) Philsie! Beverly!
1950
01:37:55,121 --> 01:37:57,749
Anybody! Help!
1951
01:37:57,832 --> 01:37:59,917
COMPUTER VOICE: Three minutes,
20 seconds to arrival.
1952
01:38:00,001 --> 01:38:01,461
Howard! Here!
1953
01:38:03,337 --> 01:38:04,797
All right...
1954
01:38:05,339 --> 01:38:06,841
Sliced salami!
1955
01:38:08,009 --> 01:38:09,135
HOWARD: Yuck!
1956
01:38:09,886 --> 01:38:11,471
(MOANS LOUDLY)
1957
01:38:13,473 --> 01:38:14,849
(LAUGHING) Lose something?
1958
01:38:17,894 --> 01:38:20,438
COMPUTER VOICE: Alien specimens
will arrive in laboratory
1959
01:38:20,521 --> 01:38:22,148
in three minutes.
1960
01:38:25,777 --> 01:38:27,904
Howard!
1961
01:38:30,323 --> 01:38:31,657
All right!
1962
01:38:48,299 --> 01:38:49,634
(HOWARD LAUGHING)
1963
01:38:55,389 --> 01:38:57,975
Eat claw, duck!
1964
01:38:59,185 --> 01:39:01,354
COMPUTER VOICE:
Two minutes to arrival.
1965
01:39:01,437 --> 01:39:04,857
Belt. Button. Trigger.
1966
01:39:11,405 --> 01:39:13,324
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1967
01:39:17,703 --> 01:39:20,039
One minute,
30 seconds to arrival.
1968
01:39:20,123 --> 01:39:23,417
Puny little duck!
1969
01:39:45,064 --> 01:39:46,065
Yeah!
1970
01:39:46,149 --> 01:39:47,608
(IMITATES TARZAN)
1971
01:39:47,692 --> 01:39:49,569
One minute to arrival.
1972
01:39:49,902 --> 01:39:51,070
Howard!
1973
01:39:52,655 --> 01:39:54,157
(DISTANT GROWLING)
1974
01:39:54,240 --> 01:39:55,533
There's more coming down.
1975
01:39:55,616 --> 01:39:56,951
(GROANS)
1976
01:40:00,121 --> 01:40:02,582
The machine, Howard! You
gotta destroy it! Blast it!
1977
01:40:02,665 --> 01:40:03,666
Get them!
1978
01:40:04,250 --> 01:40:05,293
No, Howard. Don't!
1979
01:40:05,376 --> 01:40:06,377
Huh?
1980
01:40:06,878 --> 01:40:08,212
You'll never get home.
1981
01:40:08,296 --> 01:40:10,256
COMPUTER VOICE:
30 seconds to arrival.
1982
01:40:10,965 --> 01:40:12,008
Get them!
1983
01:40:19,807 --> 01:40:21,559
Goodbye, Duckworld.
1984
01:40:22,602 --> 01:40:24,604
Get out of there! Run!
1985
01:40:24,729 --> 01:40:27,190
COMPUTER VOICE: Ten seconds
and counting to arrival.
1986
01:40:27,273 --> 01:40:28,316
Over here!
1987
01:40:28,399 --> 01:40:32,612
...nine, eight, seven, six,
1988
01:40:32,695 --> 01:40:38,451
five, four, three, two, one.
Arrival.
1989
01:41:01,807 --> 01:41:03,726
(SCREAMS)
1990
01:41:14,737 --> 01:41:16,197
PHIL: Howard!
1991
01:41:28,501 --> 01:41:30,127
BEVERLY: Oh, no.
1992
01:41:37,677 --> 01:41:40,012
I don't know where you are now,
1993
01:41:41,555 --> 01:41:43,849
but I hope you're happier there.
1994
01:41:49,021 --> 01:41:51,691
This world didn't
treat you very good.
1995
01:41:52,984 --> 01:41:55,361
But you saved it, didn't you?
1996
01:41:59,490 --> 01:42:00,992
(MOANING)
1997
01:42:03,953 --> 01:42:05,246
Howard!
1998
01:42:07,373 --> 01:42:12,295
(SINISTER VOICE)
I am not Howard anymore.
1999
01:42:12,378 --> 01:42:13,462
(BOTH GASPING)
2000
01:42:13,546 --> 01:42:14,839
(RASPY GROAN)
2001
01:42:15,756 --> 01:42:17,049
(SCREAMS)
2002
01:42:17,883 --> 01:42:19,218
(COUGHING)
2003
01:42:20,928 --> 01:42:25,474
Jeez! All this smoke.
Murder on the sinuses.
2004
01:42:25,558 --> 01:42:26,809
(COUGHING)
2005
01:42:29,312 --> 01:42:30,354
Fooled you, didn't I?
2006
01:42:30,438 --> 01:42:32,023
(CHUCKLES)
2007
01:42:32,106 --> 01:42:33,316
(CHUCKLES)
2008
01:42:33,399 --> 01:42:34,942
Howard.
2009
01:42:35,026 --> 01:42:36,902
It's all right, toots.
2010
01:42:40,948 --> 01:42:42,992
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2011
01:42:49,790 --> 01:42:50,791
Well, all right!
2012
01:42:50,875 --> 01:42:54,086
I'd like to dedicate this song
to our new manager!
2013
01:42:54,170 --> 01:42:55,504
Uh-huh!
2014
01:43:00,384 --> 01:43:01,385
Go!
2015
01:43:01,469 --> 01:43:03,721
(SINGING) Get that planeton the phone
2016
01:43:06,015 --> 01:43:07,475
Ain't no time to waste
2017
01:43:10,478 --> 01:43:13,022
Tell 'em he ain't coming home
2018
01:43:14,774 --> 01:43:16,567
Done joined the human race
2019
01:43:16,650 --> 01:43:19,320
They call him Howard the duck
2020
01:43:19,904 --> 01:43:21,364
No way to conceal it
2021
01:43:21,447 --> 01:43:25,910
With a feathered touch
I love him apart
2022
01:43:25,993 --> 01:43:28,704
They call him Howard the duck
2023
01:43:28,788 --> 01:43:30,664
If it ain't funk
he don't feel it
2024
01:43:30,748 --> 01:43:34,335
And he shot an arrow
straight to my heart
2025
01:43:35,961 --> 01:43:38,714
All right, ready mechanical. We're
gonna release the big huevo.
2026
01:43:38,798 --> 01:43:41,133
Cue egg, ready!
Cue egg, go!
2027
01:43:42,301 --> 01:43:43,803
Saved the human race
2028
01:43:43,886 --> 01:43:45,137
They call him Howard the duck
2029
01:43:45,179 --> 01:43:46,889
Howard! Howard! Help me out!
Yeah.
2030
01:43:46,972 --> 01:43:47,973
Release that rope there.
2031
01:43:48,057 --> 01:43:49,308
Gotcha.
2032
01:43:51,519 --> 01:43:52,603
Not that one!
2033
01:43:52,686 --> 01:43:57,233
Whoa! Philsie, what's going on?
Get me down from here!
2034
01:43:57,316 --> 01:43:59,735
I've done enough flying,
Philsie!
2035
01:43:59,819 --> 01:44:01,612
Stole my heart
2036
01:44:05,533 --> 01:44:06,992
Philsie!
2037
01:44:09,662 --> 01:44:11,539
Do you realize I could have
been killed up there?
2038
01:44:16,377 --> 01:44:17,420
What's this?
2039
01:44:17,503 --> 01:44:18,504
Rock 'n' roll!
2040
01:44:20,840 --> 01:44:21,924
Give me four!
2041
01:44:22,007 --> 01:44:23,551
(LAUGHS)
2042
01:44:27,721 --> 01:44:29,890
Yeah!
2043
01:44:29,974 --> 01:44:31,475
Beak me, baby!
2044
01:44:33,686 --> 01:44:36,021
Quack! Is that
hot enough for you?
2045
01:44:41,193 --> 01:44:43,112
Howard the duck
2046
01:44:43,195 --> 01:44:45,865
If it ain't funk
he don't feel it
2047
01:44:48,993 --> 01:44:49,994
HOWARD: Bring it on home!
2048
01:44:50,077 --> 01:44:52,163
He's Howard the duck
2049
01:44:52,246 --> 01:44:54,457
Ain't no way to conceal it
2050
01:44:56,542 --> 01:44:58,711
Bit of Purple Haze for you all!
2051
01:45:01,547 --> 01:45:02,756
Yeah!
2052
01:45:20,107 --> 01:45:21,609
Do it!
2053
01:45:21,692 --> 01:45:24,111
He's called Howard the duck
2054
01:45:24,195 --> 01:45:26,113
If it isn't funk
he don't feel it
2055
01:45:26,197 --> 01:45:27,865
Right! Yeah!
2056
01:45:27,948 --> 01:45:29,575
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
2057
01:45:31,118 --> 01:45:32,161
Howard the duck
2058
01:45:32,244 --> 01:45:33,329
That's me!
2059
01:45:33,412 --> 01:45:35,498
Ain't no way to conceal it
2060
01:45:35,581 --> 01:45:39,627
He shot an arrow
straight to my heart
2061
01:45:46,258 --> 01:45:48,469
HOWARD: Thank you! Thank you!
CROWD: Howard! Howard! Howard!
2062
01:45:48,552 --> 01:45:49,803
We love you!
2063
01:45:50,971 --> 01:45:51,972
Thank you!
2064
01:45:54,225 --> 01:45:55,601
We love you!
2065
01:45:59,104 --> 01:46:00,523
(GIGGLES)
2066
01:46:00,606 --> 01:46:02,900
Not bad for a duck
from outer space.
2067
01:46:02,983 --> 01:46:05,069
You were great, Ducky.
138544
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