All language subtitles for Black.Socpion.2001.S01E11-.Lifes.A.Gas

- Enough, that's enough
my air headed sisters.

- But Dr. haze,

breathing these fumes is such a rush.

- Yeah, I feel kinda lightheaded.

- You mean more than usual?

- Gee, it's kinda hard to tell.

- Maybe we should smash
more test tubes.

- Stop, stop, stop.

I know smashing up our lab is fun,

but there's no point in it,

unless the security reports it.

- So how are with going to
lure black scorpion here?

- I'll make a phone call myself.

- Boy, maybe I should've
spent more time in class

and less time sniffing glue.

- All units in the vicinity proceed

to breath headquarters for
a robbery in progress.

- Auto transform.

- These are quality vapors.

- They make me feel all misty.

- Put your chemistry sets away girls.

Our Guinea pig has arrived,

and helmets on.

We wouldn't want you
to crack your heads

and let any more air in.

Time for your smog
inspection black scorpion.

The scorpion mobile is
worse than I thought.

Deliberate bypass of the
catalytic converter?

Nitrogen tetroxide cocktail?

My god, hydrochloric acid emissions.

- That's one experiment
that's going down the tubes.

- Sorry black scorpion, your
car doesn't make the grade.

A little engine trouble black scorpion?

Either fix your car
or put a cork in it.

You're the first target in my war

against pollution black scorpion.

- Fire.

- In the light of day
Darcy Walker is a cop,

but in the dark of night,
she becomes black scorpion.

Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.

- It's time for your
weekend weather report.

I'm Celeste McCloud in for
the vacationing sunny day,

and speaking of sunny days,

we're having another one
here in the city of angels,

but watch out for that nasty ozone.

So stay inside and
leave me another space

for my beach towel.

- Ooh, that Celeste makes
my temperature rise.

- And you're making my blood boil.

- Oh baby look, I get
my weather from her

but I spend all my time with you.

- Since when?

You spend all your time working.

I need to get down to the beach
and break in my new bikini.

- Women.

- Alright, alright so
what about the car?

- Huh?

Oh yeah, yeah.

What did you do anyway, back
into a wine tasting convention?

A fine vintage.

- The woman who shot me full
of cork didn't think so.

So can you fix the
emission problem or not?

- Yeah I can fix the emission problem,

but you're gonna go about as slow

as a five year old on a tricycle.

- I'm not gonna catch many
super villains that way.

- You want clean air and speed?

Dang girl, you're asking
a lot from a brother

you know that don't you?

Look, I'll see what I can do alright?

- Well whatever you do, do it quick.

I can't survive without my car.

Damn, you're treating like
I'm kunta kinte up in here.

I'll see what I can do.

- Babette, these polls are terrible.

My popularity's plunging
lower than your neckline.

- Hmm, maybe I should
lower my neckline.

- Well you'll have to lower
it around your ankles.

- Hmm, okay.

- No, no, no.

That won't do me any good now.

What I need is some good publicity.

- And that's where I come in.

- Who the hell are you?

- Dr. Ariel haze acting
director of breath.

- Oh yes, the pollution nut

who wants me to replace
cars with bicycles.

- So you read my proposal?

- Oh yes.

And put it right in the round file.

- And he didn't even recycle it.

- Mr. Mayor, are you
aware that air pollution

is at crisis levels in
the city of angels?

- Oh well, it doesn't
seem like a crisis to me.

- Oh no?

Well this is a can of
compressed air pollution

and it's just a sample of what the cars

are doing to our city's oxygen.

- Look here, this is the bottom line.

My voters love their gas guzzlers,
and I love their votes.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have work to do.

- No, I won't excuse you

and I won't excuse any
of the city's polluters.

You two are a disgrace
to your environment.

- Come on, I knew we were a
disgrace to the department.

- Yeah, we've never done
anything to nature.

- Really?

You're using poisonous photochemicals

for a mugshot that you're
never gonna use again.

And you, you're typing that report

on non-recycled bleached paper.

- You know what?

She's right.

I think we should just
stop working right now.

- I agree.

- You too aren't buying
her malarkey are ya?

- Yeah.

- You, I feel sorry for you.

- For me?

- You're polluting your
body with that pastry.

- I am?

- You just decreased your
lifespan by six months.

- Try six years.

- Okay Dr. haze, you are free to go.

- What?

- The mayor's not pressing charges.

- Why not?

- Apparently he doesn't
want the bad publicity.

- You mean he doesn't want
my message to get out?

- Well I won't stop until it does.

- Look doctor, I admire your dedication

but you're not gonna
be able to help anyone

if you don't operate within the law.

- What my partner is trying to say

is that we're gonna be watching you,

and if you as so much look
cross eyed at a litterbug,

we're gonna lock you up

and lose the paperwork
for a day or two.

- Hmm, that almost
sounds like a threat.

- Whatever.

- Hmm.

- I don't think you needed
to come down so hard on her.

- Oh sure I did Ms. Walker.

That's how our partnership
works, good cop, bad cop.

- You wanted to see me sirs?

- Yes doctor, have a seat.

- I prefer to stand.

- Very well.

It's come to the board's attention

that you've had some recent
trouble with the mayor.

- I was just trying to get him

to see things our way.

- Our way, doctor?

Our way is not to set off smoke bombs

in the office of city officials,

and not to ship live
termites to elysium lumber,

or to fill the president of angel
petroleum's pool with oil.

- Well, is there anything wrong

with taking a leadership position?

- Leadership position, doctor?

These are the acts of
environmental terrorists.

- Environmental terrorist, I
like the way that sounds.

- Doctor, you sound exactly
like the man you replaced.

- Thank you,

breathtaker, I mean Dr. Goddard
is a man of high ideals.

- Thank goodness he's rotting in jail.

- How can you say that?

- Let's just say that his
methods were a bit too extreme,

and so are yours.

- Sometimes the end
justifies the means.

- I'm glad to hear you say that.

- You are?

- Yes, because this is your end.

You're fired.

I believe our next piece of
business was the merger.

- What?

- I'm here to see Dr. Goddard.

- Oh my, well put your Jane
hancock right there darling.

- A small attempt at
oxygen replenishing I see.

- Huh?

- I'm afraid you'll need more
than one flower to do that.

- I just thought it was pretty.

- Dr. Goddard?

- Forgive my heavy breathing.

- Oh, that's okay.

I know it's been a long time
since you've seen a woman.

- It's been a long time
since I've had lungs.

Now stop wasting my breath
with your idle chitchat

and tell me what it is you want.

- Well I need your help, I'm...

- Ariel haze.

- You remember me?

- Yes, you were that little
girl who always sat at the back

of my atmospheric science class,
your head buried in a book.

An eternal black cloud
hovering over your head.

- Oh, but now I want to
get rid of the cloud

over everyone's head,

that's why I'm lobbying
for antipollution laws.

- Oh.

- Oh, what I really want to say

is that I've always admired
you so much, Dr. Goddard.

- Is that a fact?

- I even replaced you
at breath when they...

- locked me inside
this supper ware bowl!

- Now the board of directors
has fired me too.

They accused me of being an
environmental terrorist.

- Hmm, you sound like a
woman after my own heart.

Or should I say lungs?

- Which is why I'm here.

I need your advice.

What did you do when no
one would listen to you?

- I tried to asphyxiate the city.

- I mean besides that.

- Oh, I was working on a new
chemical that would allow me

to purify the air and breathe

outside of my oxygenated armor,

and more importantly would allow me

to breathe outside of this cell.

Unfortunately I never got to test it.

- What about me?

- It's dangerous.

- Well, I don't care.

I don't care Dr. Goddard,
I'd do anything for you.

I mean, anything for your cause.

- Well, in that case...

- Now why are we breaking
into our old lab?

- Well we can't very well
walk through the front door

and take the ozonofusium.

- Oh, a new fume.

- Got it.

- Attention all units, we have a report

of another break in at
breath headquarters.

- So what is this ozone ofuzzium thing?

- Ozonofusium, and
it's a purifying agent

that Dr. Goddard invented
but the board never let him

test it because they thought
it was too dangerous.

- Ooh, how does it work?

- It acts like a magnet
and attracts pollution

to its cleaning compound
rendering the smog inert.

- You're about to
become inert yourself.

- Black scorpion!

- I think you should
hand that over to me.

- If it's chemicals you
want black scorpion,

I think my lab assistants could
whip you up something toxic.

- Wow, this stuff really packs a punch.

- Looks like you could
use a little hazing.

- Dr. haze, look out!

- Oh no!

- What is it Dr. haze?

- It's pollution and it's
headed straight for me.

- Dr. haze!

- Airheads.

- Where are you doctor?

- I'm here.

- Well maybe a better question
would be, what are you?

- I'm pollution, human pollution.

Dr. Goddard please.

- You gotta sign on the dotted line.

What the?

Hmm, maybe I watered it too much.

- Dr. Goddard?

Dr. Goddard?

- Ariel, I've been waiting
for you with bated breath.

Did you find the ozonofusium?

- Yes, but pollution found me.

- What do you mean?

- I had a little accident.

I turned into the very thing
you hate, I'm pollution.

- Oh, this is working out
even better than I planned.

- Now I'm hazardous to your health.

- Yes, and everyone else's as well.

- I don't understand.

- Now you can asphyxiate the city.

- I can't do that.

I mean I think I could, but I won't.

- You said you wanted to continue
my work, what better way?

- But there's gotta be a
better way than murder.

- Think of it as blowing
a cleansing breath,

but instead of eliminating pollution,

you'll eliminate the problem

at its very source, the polluters.

- Alright, alright I'll do it.

But first I want a little kiss.

Oh, Dr. Goddard.

- Ariel, you're steaming up my view.

- What's happening to me?

- What's happening in the cell?

Without my helmet I'll die.

- Goddard!

- Get out of here!

- Is that what you had in mind Dr.
Goddard?

- More or less, actually more.

Do you think you can do that
to the entire population?

- I don't know,

that might be spreading
myself a little thin.

- Well, that's the
beauty of being a gas.

Now float along now.

- It's another ozone alert, and
I'm pretty excited about it.

Do you know why?

Because all this pollution

actually makes for a terrific sunset.

That's right, all that toxic
haze you viewers complain about

is what makes those
terrific reds and oranges.

So go out this evening

with that someone special
and enjoy the smog.

- Oh, my stomach.

- Oh, my poor Artie fartie.

- Babette.

- Your tummy's still upset
from that big meanie Dr. haze.

Too bad we can't give her gas.

- Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What did you just say?

- Too bad we can't give her gas?

- Gas, gas yes.

That's it.

That's the missing piece
to my popularity puzzle.

Oh, this is another example
babette, of my genius.

- It is?

- Yes, I'm gonna give
everybody else gas.

- Oh, I hope I'm not in the same room.

- I'm taking about giving
the people what they want,

fuel for their gas guzzlers.

Call the president of angel petroleum.

He owes me big time for
overlooking his filthy,

dirty, grimy, smoke that
his refinery's put out

into the air all the time.

- Artie, I love when you talk dirty.

- Oh, ugh.

- 21st precinct, Rafferty.

- Why are you two just sitting around?

- Cap, we don't want to risk

depleting our bioregional resources.

- You wouldn't be trying to get out of

doing a little work
around here would you?

- Cap, two guards at
pearl gate penitentiary

just asphyxiated.

- Asphyxiated?

Were there any suspects?

- Yeah, breathtaker.

- Breathtaker couldn't have done it.

His cell is airtight.

There's not enough oxygen in
there for him to blow a bubble,

much less asphyxiate my men.

- Well who was his last visitor?

- Dr. Ariel haze.

We already questioned the
breathtaker about that,

he's not talking.

- He'll talk to us warden.

- No, Steve let me go.

- Alone?

- Yes, I think it's better.

The breathtaker and I have a history.

- I'm well aware of your history Ms.
Walker.

He's the man who...

- It's fine, you can say it.

Killed my father.

- Yes, exactly and that's why

I don't think you should
go in there alone.

I don't want you doing
something you're gonna regret.

- Don't worry, I'm a good cop remember?

- Detective Walker, so they're
sending in the big guns?

Although it looks like
you left yours at home.

- I think the warden
was a little worried

I might use it on you.

- He doesn't know you as well as I do.

You couldn't commit coldblooded
murder even if you tried.

- Unlike you.

- If you're talking about the guards,

I have an airtight alibi, this cell.

- Well unfortunately this hole
blows your airtight alibi,

as well as your chances
for early parole.

- An empty threat won't
get me to confess

to a murder I didn't commit.

- Alright, if you didn't kill
the guards then who did?

- The answer my friend
is blowing in the wind.

- It was Dr. haze wasn't it?

Why are you protecting her?

Don't you understand that
she is just as dangerous

to you as she is to everyone else?

Where is she?

- I haven't the smoggiest idea
what you're talking about.

- You two are working
together aren't you?

Alright, tell me what her
next move is gonna be

and I'll see to it that you get
time off for good behavior.

- Sorry detective, I'm about
as good at making deals

as you are at making threats.

- This is not a very
good patch job is it?

- You don't have the nerve to kill me.

Not as long as you wear that badge.

Go on, go on.

Your father wouldn't have stopped.

- You're heartless.

- Actually I'm lungless.

- Where is haze?

- It's all around us, or at
least she will be soon enough.

- Well?

- No luck.

- You know I told you,

you shoulda let me go inside with you.

We could've done the good
cop, bad cop thing with him.

- I just did.

- How can you play both
parts at the same time?

- You know it's not
as hard as you think.

- Yeah but you didn't get
anything out of him.

- Except.

- Except what?

- He said that haze would
be around us soon enough.

- So?

- So she's modeled her
entire career after him.

- Oh yeah, that's a great role model.

He tried to asphyxiate the whole city.

- My point exactly.

She's following in his footsteps

and she's gonna construct
some sort of weapon,

which means breaking into angel tech.

- Okay.

- If the people of the city
of angels like their smog,

they'll love pollutia.

- So what do we do
with all these things?

- We're going to build a machine
that'll make more of me.

I am gonna give the
smog hogs of this city

a taste of their own pollution.

- Police!

Don't move, don't even breathe.

- That's an appropriate
choice of words detective.

If you hit any of the
barrels in this lab,

breathing won't be an option.

- What?

- If the chemicals come in contact
with the air, you'll die.

- I don't need my gun to
take care of you three.

- Vapor, mist show the detective
how you can go to his head.

Way to smoke him, girls.

Ta ta, detective.

- I think it's time we cleared the air.

- And we can start by eliminating

that needless pair of lungs, yours!

Get her vapor and mist.

- This isn't a fair fight.

- You're right, it's an air fight.

- Come on pollutia, show yourself.

Fight me.

- For you black scorpion, why not?

I hate to leave things up in the air.

- Let's kill her.

- Yeah, let's give her
the gas pollutia.

- Hmm, no, no, no, no.

My gas is too good for the scorpion.

Let's she how she does
without any air at all.

Three minutes black scorpion.

- I'm ready for the beach.

- But it's the middle of the night.

- I'm loading up the car and the van.

- Oh, man you should warn a
brother next time that happens.

- Mobile fill up.

- Ta da, the new and
improved scorpion mobile.

More than your average family car.

- So is it fully loaded?

- Oh, it's loaded alright.

- Scorpion!

- So is lover boy's gun.

- Alright, let's see what she's got.

- This is unit 2962 in
pursuit of black scorpion.

She is heading east
on ascension Avenue.

- Now we're picking up some gas, huh?

- Actually it's hydrogen.

That's how I solved
your emissions problem.

- You know I gotta hand it to you,

you have outdone yourself again.

- Tell me about it.

- Come on, you're mine.

- Computer activate smokescreen.

- Hey argyle, what's up
with the smokescreen?

- I, uh, disabled it.

- What?

Why'd you do that?

- Well you were getting
all ecological on me,

and I figured you didn't
want all that smog.

- Well at least I still
have the old gun.

- Guess again.

- Oh, come on argyle.

- Hey, did you know
that one pound of oil

could contaminate the groundwater

and create an oil slick a mile wide?

- Alright, how am I
supposed to lose Steve

without my arsenal?

- Try the rocket booster.

- Rocket booster?

- Look, don't worry.

This new hydrogen fuel
emits zero pollutants

and it's 45% more fuel efficient
than standard fossil fuels,

and oh yeah, it's got a kick.

- Alright, hold on.

- Go boo!

- Hey Steve, you think
you can catch me now?

The only thing you're
gonna catch is my fumes.

- My gas master is now complete.

All I need to do now is test it.

- Okay, I'm ready to inhale.

- Me too.

- Aw, thanks for volunteering
my dear airheads,

but I think I have a few enemies

that will make perfect Guinea
pigs for my super pollutant.

- The boys here at angel city petroleum

have been working overtime to bring you

decent, hardworking citizens

something you could
really use, free gas.

I take great pleasure in proclaiming

next Saturday gas relief day.

Babette.

- Ariel, is that you?

- Hmm, you can call me pollutia.

- Well, pollutia that's
quite a costume.

- You see every cloud does
have a silver lining.

- Oh and speaking of clouds,
how's my plan going?

- Don't you mean our plan?

- Oh yes, of course.

How's it going?

- I've built the gas master
and I've already tested it.

All I have to do now is take over

the angel petroleum
smokestack and murder

or should I say, use
my cleansing breath

to wipe out the polluters.

- Aren't you forgetting something?

- Another kiss?

- No, you've got to go on the
TV and threaten the city.

- Why would I want to warn them?

- Well, it's standard
operating procedure

for all supervillains.

- Alright, then I'll
have my television debut

and I'll leave the public
wanting more, air that is.

- What, what, what?

- We've got to get you out of here.

- Well, I'm just in the
middle of my gas giveaway.

- Yeah and I'm having fun pumping.

- No, no you don't understand.

Pollutia just asphyxiated breath's

board of directors for firing her.

We think she's coming after you next.

- Well, you've gotta
protect me strickland.

- You're in good hands, sir.

We will let no gas pass.

- You know Artie has that
problem when he eats

those burritos with green chili sauce.

- Babette, just...

- Looks like it's gonna rain.

- That's no rain cloud, it's pollutia.

- No!

- Alright crew, gas
masks on and don't fire

until you see the whites
of her, of her cloud.

- Oh, I'm too young and
good looking to die.

- The haze is unfazed.

- I wonder where she's going.

- It's another bad air quality day,

so you know where I'll be.

- Phew, I'm exhausted or
maybe I'm just exhaust.

Greetings city of angels, I'm pollutia

and my forecast calls for a lethal smog

and in your way my toxic smog machine,

the gas master is going
to choke every man,

woman and child in the city of angels.

So you can hold your noses
and you can shut your mouths

because something's in the air.

- Time to play bad cop.

- I hope you boys can
read smoke signals.

- Pollutia is that you?

- So sorry to disappoint you.

- I'm never disappointed

to see an old friend black scorpion.

I'd invite you in, but as you can see

I have no windows or doors.

- It must get a little stuffy in there.

- Yes.

Well, unfortunately there's
nothing I can do about it.

- Well maybe I can.

I'm giving you a breath of fresh air.

- Detective Walker
made the same threat,

but she couldn't bring
herself to do it.

- I'm not detective Walker.

- Alright, she's after me.

- What?

- Yes, pollutia thinks that if
she can asphyxiate the city

she and I will live happily ever after.

- Where is she?

I'm not gonna ask again.

- Well I suppose I can tell you now.

You'll never get there in time anyway.

She's at angel petroleum.

- If you're lying,

I'll be back to finish
this window display.

- Gas replicator on.

- Gassing it up.

- Death to the city of angels.

- Waft smog to target.

- Wafting.

- Time to get your head
out of the clouds.

- Black scorpion!

- I didn't even see you come in.

- Well that's what happens
when smoke gets in your eyes.

Where's pollutia?

- She's right under your nose.

- Vapor, mist, give black
scorpion a chemistry lesson.

- You know the breathtaker

has no intention of staying with you.

- What are you talking about?

- He's using you to get out of prison.

- I thought he loved me.

- Oh come on, you know men.

He goes whichever way the wind blows.

- Well so do I.

- Activate aero vacuum.

Deactivate.

- I can't breath in here,

and somebody you won't be
able to breath out there

so you'll heed my
warning black scorpion.

A polluted life isn't worth living.

- Why not?

Haven't you heard that life's a gas?

- Hey baby, I got my beach umbrella.

I got my beach ball and I
got my beach bathing suit.

I am ready for some fun in the sun.

- Well there's not gonna be any fun,

'cause there's not any sun.

- It would be another sunny
day in the city of angels

but we're having a severe smog alert.

- Oh man.

Oh it's alright, baby.

Look, we can go tomorrow.

- Sorry, I've gotta work tomorrow.

- What?

You're gonna put work ahead
of our relationship?

- I learned from the master.

- Alright you two, I want
that pollutia report

on my desk before noon.

- Cap, what about the trees?

- Welcome to the world
of recycled paper.

- So much for the environment.

- Or my waistline.

- Come on Walker you gotta tell me,

how did you get breathtaker to talk?

- I unleashed the bad cop.

- Come on.

- Come on, come on what?

- Look, tell me your trade secret.

- Don't hold your breath.