All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S02E28 The Bat Cave Affair

See? It wasn't so far, was it?
- Ahem.

I'm glad we didn't
take the scenic route.

You're gonna agree
she's worth it. Just you wait.

I hope so.

Transom may be
testing her again.

I don't wanna disturb them.

All right, Clemency.
Now concentrate.

What card is this?

Number eight of the diamonds.

And this one?

Number four of the hearts.

And this one?

Number two of the hearts.

And this?

Oh, that's the young
fellow in the clubs.

- The prince?
- Jack.

The jack.

She hasn't missed
a one. Not a one.

- Didn't I tell you she was incredible?
- Professor Glomm...

I'm well aware that you are
one of our leading scholars...

in the field of
extrasensory perception.

But even the most impressive
of tests have produced results...

only slightly above the laws
of chance and using five cards.

No one has ever gotten
an entire deck right, no one.

That's true, but what about that bomb
under the United Nations Assembly Hall?

- You found it, didn't you?
- That's why I'm here.

To get to the bottom of this.

Your name is Mr. Solo.

Uh, ye... Hello, yes.

There now. I didn't
tell her your name.

Did you, Mr. Transom?

No, sir. I just told her
you'd gone to pick up a man.

And you work for U-N-C-L-E.

A store called Uncle?

You promised if we came here to check
this out that you would not disclose...

I didn't.

And you're trying to find out
some information about a bird.

Thrush or something like
that. I don't really understand.

Who told you this, Clemency?

Nobody. I've got
the knowing way.

Grandpa, we've got
company. Turn that thing down.

It's all right. You can
turn it back on later.

After the...

- Illya.
- Hmm?

What kind of a name is that?

Illya "Kuryay-kin."

What about Mr. Kuryay... Yakin?

Well, he's a friend of yours
and he's in terrible danger.

- Oh?
- He's in Spain, ain't he? Yeah, Spain.

And he's in terrible
danger from a bull's horn.

Oh, I see.

Well, I'm very glad to hear
you say that, Clemency.

Because I was just
beginning to believe you.

It happens that
Mr. Kuryakin is not in Spain.

He's in Stockholm.

We've checked her out.

Until today, she's never left the
hills and everything she's told us...

has been correct
down to the last detail.

What about the two scientists?

Glomm is all right.

We're still checking on Transom.

So far there isn't
any need for concern.

A girl professing
to be clairvoyant.

Well, I must say, Mr. Solo,
I'm more than a trifle dubious.

That's why I brought them
all here. She's in the next...

Mr. Kuryakin is
coming in now, sir.

Mr. Kuryakin?

You're supposed to be in Stockholm.
What are you doing in Madrid?

A funny thing happened to
me on the way to Sweden, sir.

I intercepted a Thrush letter.

It contained a list of numbers
which I'm sending on to you.

Commendable, but it doesn't explain
why you're where you're not supposed to be.

The letter was
postmarked Madrid.

I thought if I could
locate the source...

I might be able to find out what
the list of numbers is all about.

Ask him what he was
doing in that bull ring.

What were you
doing in the bull ring?

Well, you see, I was chased
there by two Thrush agents.

He was a very brave bull, sir.

I had to put him to sleep.

I gave him a small dosage
of gas from my fountain pen.

A minor riot ensued.

Where are you now?

Oh, it seems I'm in
protective custody, sir.

Madrid's finest.

Is there anything
new on your end, sir?

Oh, nothing much. An
ultimatum from Thrush.

Unless they receive the sum of $1 billion
in assorted currencies by Thursday...

they will start
Operation Night Flight.

It's some sort of scheme...

they say it will paralyze air
travel throughout the world.

And you can well imagine
what sort of havoc that will cause.

Thursday.

That doesn't give us much time.

Very little.

But you seem to
be getting close.

Otherwise, Thrush wouldn't
be chasing you so eagerly.

Well, maintain stage-three
communications for the present.

Yes, sir.

I notice you didn't tell him
anything about Miss McGill.

At the moment, I don't
see what there is to tell.

Shall we find out?

Ah. Here we are now. Heh-heh.

Clemency, I'd like you to
meet Mr. Alexander Waverly.

- How do you do, miss?
- How do, sir?

He's your boss, ain't he?

Did you think that, Clemency?

No, he just looked
like he would be.

Mr. Waverly, this is Mr. Transom,
my research associate.

Hello, Mr. Transom.

Well, Clemency, are you ready to
prove yourself to another skeptic?

Well, to tell the truth,
Professor Glomm...

this isn't exactly what I'd
like to do the rest of my life.

I mean, just sitting here, reading
names off these silly cards.

I think Clemency's right.

I think we have to vary
the experiment today.

What would you suggest?

Why not try it with
different sets of cards?

Well, isn't this rather
irregular, Mr. Solo?

I mean, it's hardly in keeping
with the basic principles...

of objective
scientific research.

Well, I thought if Miss McGill
could place Mr. Kuryakin in Madrid...

she'll be able to identify
a few picture postcards.

Mr. Solo is quite right, Glomm.
I have perfect faith in Clemency.

My dear.

Gentlemen.

It's the, uh...

What do you call them
things? The pyramid.

Mm. It's kind of a
big horseshoe on end.

I know. That thing in Paris.

Mr. Solo, I declare.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

I'd like to try, if
you don't mind.

Our pleasure, sir.

My, isn't that a handsome child?

He sure is a good-looking boy.

My grandson, Melvin.

Oh.

Now, if you'll excuse us.

Well, sir, what do you think?

I'm not quite sure, Mr. Solo.

Of course, she could have second sight.
Extrasensory perception, as we call it now.

Or it could be a trick.

Or she could be
involved with Thrush.

Mind you, I am
not suggesting that.

But, well, keep a close
eye on her, will you?

Yes, sir.

Not too close.

- What do you call this again?
- A gourmet's surprise.

It's made of 14 different delicious
flavors, all made into one delectable soda.

Why, back home, we can
hardly get nothing but vanilla.

Well, chocolate, sometimes.

Clemency...

you're a very remarkable
girl, to say the least.

I mean, this, you
know, gift that you have.

Oh, well, shoot fire
and save the matches.

I can't very well be proud of something
that I was just born with, can I?

- When did you first discover it?
- My knowing way?

- Mm-hm.
- I guess I've always had it.

My granny said I inherited it from her. My
granny raised me till she died last year.

And she had this
ability too, huh?

Oh, yeah, she sure did.

When any of the womenfolk
was expecting a young one...

she'd always come to my granny to
find out whether to knit pink or blue.

I think I'll just have me
another one of them.

Bartender. Freddie, fill her up.

Well, when my granny died,
folks started coming to me.

I do hope her soul rests...

but some of them do say I have
the power stronger than she did.

- In what way?
- Well, take you, for instance.

Now, I don't know how I
know so much about you.

What do you know about me?

Oh, well, just silly
little things like...

Now, why should I know that
last night you went dancing...

with a girl named Stephanie?

How did you know that I
went dancing with Stephanie?

Well, it just come to me.

And you took her to
the Purple Unicorn.

And afterwards...

Yes, I know what I did.

Thank you, Fred.

I hope you don't mind
my making a pig of myself.

But these are so good.

What's the matter now?

Mr. Kuryakin.

Yes?

Now, I don't know why I keep
getting thoughts about him.

I never even seen him.

What thoughts are you
getting about him now?

Well, I keep thinking that if he
wants to find what he's after...

he should go to a
place in "See-ville"?

- Seville.
- Yeah, what you said.

Outside of this place there's
a sign with a wolf's head on it.

It says...

Casa del Lobo.

Hah!

Hah!

Give me Thrush
Central, this is 36.

She got him here right on time.

It's good to have you
here, Mr. Kuryakin.

Though I fancy you would have
been better off in the north country...

instead of opening
up other people's mail.

You have something of ours.

Something I rather
hope you will return.

And what might that be?

Come now, sir. Let us
not play childish games.

I'm referring to a list of numbers
which you were foolish enough...

to intercept.

Oh, those.

You're an amusing
chap, Mr. Kuryakin.

I shall be very,
very sorry to...

Oh, do forgive me.

I am Zark.

Count Ladislaus Zark.

You have heard of me, of course.

Well, there's something
familiar about you...

but just what it is escapes
me for the moment.

You have shattered my ego.

I have fantasies of U.N.C.L.E
issuing orders: "Get Zark at any price."

And here you haven't
even heard of me.

Well, I...

Well, I can take comfort in
the fact that after Thursday...

you would have
heard of me. Ha-ha-ha.

If you had lived that long.

Thursday?

Then you must be involved
in Operation Night Flight.

Ha-ha-ha. My dear boy...

I am Operation Night
Flight in a very real sense.

I see.

I am director of Flight
Research for Thrush.

It was I who dreamed
up the possibility.

I who proved that
it was feasible.

And I who shall
put it into operation.

Which brings me back to you
and the reason why you were here.

Forgive me for having digressed.

The paper please, Mr. Kuryakin.

Search him.

- Mr. Zark.
- Count Zark.

Listen, I have no desire to be
manhandled by your friend here so...

Watch him.

I think that's what
you're looking for.

You gave us quite
a start, Mr. Kuryakin.

It was quite
unintentional, I assure you.

Yes, it appears
to be the original.

Thank you, Mr. Kuryakin.

- May I ask a question?
- Yes, please do.

If you are so anxious to get the
letter, why did you try to have me killed?

Oh, you mean
Madrid. The bull ring.

Ha-ha. That was
a dreadful mistake.

My men were supposed to bring
you back here, but misunderstood.

Terribly sorry you
were inconvenienced.

- It happens.
- Yes, my men were a bit premature.

But now I think the
time has finally come.

Goodbye, dear chap. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm sorry you will
not be here Thursday.

You would have
enjoyed Night Flight.

Yours is not to
reason why. Yours is...

Well, you know what I mean.

Yes, I do indeed.

And thank you very much.

The first thing to do
in when you land in

Vienna is get the first
bus to Transylvania.

And then proceed directly
to the castle I told you about.

Check.

I still think I'm on
a wild goose chase.

Well, we got the information
on the best authority.

Can you give me a
hint? Is it a Ouija board?

Well...

all right, we got the
information from a girl.

A girl?

A very pretty girl.

Naturally.

May I ask where she gets hers?

Well, I tell you, we
really don't know.

But we expect that might be ESP.

You know, E-S-P.

All right.

I'll send you a postcard
from Transylvania. Out.

Mr. Solo?

I thought you were asleep.

Well, I was.

Well, you look very fetching
in your little pajamas there.

Thank you.

- Mr. Solo.
- Yes?

Tell Mr. Kuraykin there's
piranhas in the moat.

Sure, I'll tell him.

- What moat?
- I don't know.

Oh, the one around
the castle, I guess.

Ca...

This is Solo. Overseas
relay, emergency.

Kuryakin here.

Illya, are you
anywhere near a moat?

How did you know that?

Listen, it's stocked
with piranhas.

Don't be ridiculous.
How could they live here?

I don't know. Maybe the
water's heated, in any case...

Aah!

To avoid any argument and assuming
that I have to get into the castle...

how else might one go about it?

I think there's a
tunnel under the moat.

You go back down the road
a piece and you'll find a cave.

Bats.

- Good evening, Mr. Kuryakin.
- Good evening.

You were trying to find me and I, in
turn, was most eager to see you again.

I trust we are both satisfied.

I trust, too, that you were
not too startled by my bats.

They were very friendly.

Just a few that I let
out for a little romp.

Of course, they
were not treated.

Would you mind shining
that light somewhere else?

It's giving me a
bit of a headache.

Oh, I think I'd better
keep it where it is.

I'd also better tell you that I
have a gun in my other hand.

Oh, my dear Mr. Kuryakin.
A gun. Really?

Ah!

I do declare, it's
a beautiful thing.

- Well, I'm glad you like it.
- Like it?

Why, back home in
Mr. Tuttle's general store...

there ain't a thing that
will compare with it.

Well, perhaps you better speak
to Mr. Tuttle when you get back.

Well, there's only
one thing though.

Mm-hm. What's that?

My mama once told
me, "Clem," she said.

- She used to call me Clem.
- Mm-hm.

"Clem, a girl doesn't get a
finery like this for nothing."

You know what I'm getting at?

No. No, no. You tell me.

Tsk. Well...

we may be just plain mountain folk,
but when a girl gets stuff like this...

somebody wants something.

All we want is your cooperation.

- That's what I thought.
- Oh, wait, now. On matters of business.

Good morning, Mr. Kuryakin.

I trust you had a restful night.

I slept like a baby.

Would you be so kind as
to let my man slip these on?

Now, Mr. Kuryakin.

Down to business.

That list of numbers you
gave me turned out to be a fake.

Oh, I must compliment you, yes.

The job you did was marvelous.

The handwriting
appear to be mine.

The grade and texture of
the paper were the same...

and even the
watermark was identical.

My compliments
to your organization.

However, now, I
would like the real list.

I don't have it, I'm sorry.

What did you call about, Margot?

Mr. Waverly hasn't heard
from Illya in quite a while.

He wonders if you have.

Uh... Just a minute.

Clem, have we heard from Illya?

Illya, Illya. That's all
you ever care about.

Please. Now, this
is very important.

All right.

Tsk. Don't have to
worry about him no more.

He didn't find nothing at that
castle and he's coming back home.

You know, you could put
Western Union out of business.

Uh... Margot.

Illya's fine and he's
coming back home.

Oh, incidentally, if you harbor
any sad hope of being rescued...

let me inform you, your superiors
have received a message from you...

stating that you're safe
and on your way home.

By the time they find out that is
not the case, it won't really matter.

And how did they get
a message from me?

Well, this...

Well, this marvelous,
marvelous young girl...

Clemency, I believe she calls
herself. Or something equally bizarre.

Oh, the clairvoyant.

Clairvoyant?

Yes, yes. Isn't it delightful?

It's so delightful. I wish
I'd invented it myself.

I don't say that very often about
today's pretentious gadgetry.

Invented what?

A cortical stimulator.

You see, what we
call knowledge...

is merely the alteration of certain
cells in the cortex of the brain.

These cells are changed
by electrical impulse...

through the neurological system.

- You know that, of course.
- Of course.

You do? ILLYA: Yes.

Oh.

You'll appreciate this.

The cortical stimulator...

can cause these alterations
directly through the skull.

It can literally
implant knowledge...

or what we call
thoughts, instantaneously.

You see, all we have to do...

is program our computers to
the desired thought patterns...

and microwave them
directly to the subject.

The marvelous thing about it is Miss
McGill doesn't even suspect a thing.

Isn't that marvelous?

It's difficult for me to
contain my admiration.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going back home.

Back where I belong.

Well, now, Clemency.
Now, wait just a minute, here.

Why? So you can treat me like
a freak in one of them carnivals...

that passes through town?

That's what you all think of me.
Professor Glomm, Mr. Transom and you.

Clemency, you have a
very unique gift and it's very...

And you're all taking advantage of it.
Keeping me cooped up here like this.

Here I am in the big city and you
haven't even taking me outside my hotel.

Clemency, you're very important
to us. We must protect you here.

Sure, I'm important...

because I have this
here, gift, like you call it.

But if I didn't have this gift,
you wouldn't even look at me.

No, that's not true.

You've heard me say before,
now, you're a very pretty girl.

Hmp. I bet you say it to all the girls
with extrasens... Whatever you call it.

Extrasensory perception.

But of all those girls,
you're the prettiest, you see.

You ain't fooling me.

You're spoofing me.

Now, will you kindly
step out of my way?

Clemency, I wasn't
spoofing. I really did mean it.

You really like me, Mr. Solo?

Napoleon.

Miss McGill...

I purely do.

Please be careful, Mr. Solo.

I mean, Napoleon.

I'll be very careful.

I mean, I don't want you to
scratch your hand on my comb.

Oh. Why don't you take it off?

Well, I can't.

I'm supposed to
wear it all the time.

- You are?
- Mr. Transom told me to.

For the life of me,
I don't know why.

Mr. Transom gave you this?

Mm-hm.

But don't you
bear that any mind.

Clemency, just a minute.

Ahem. A little business
before pleasure.

All right?

Open Channel D.

Waverly here.

- Still no word from Illya?
- Not a word.

I think he may
be in trouble, sir.

I'd like to have your permission to
get the next plane and go after him.

But you told us he
was on his way back.

Well, we all make mistakes, sir.

That was a word about Illya
from Miss McGill, you see...

and I've just found out she
has been a dupe of Thrush.

They've been feeding her misinformation
through a comb concealed in her hair...

which has a
microwave relay set in it.

Oh, very ingenious.

I wonder why our people
never thought of that.

Very well, Mr. Solo.

The next plane for Vienna
leaves in 17 minutes.

And one other thing, sir.
Make two reservations.

One for myself and one for
a girl with a comb in her hair.

But no U.N.C.L.E agent
would destroy a document...

of obvious importance without
first memorizing its contents.

Even if he didn't know
what those contents meant.

So I put it to
you, Mr. Kuryakin.

If by tonight...

you have not given me
the information I want...

I shall still salvage
something from this affair...

by making you the first
human test of my project.

I don't even know
what your project is.

You know, of course, what
this castle is named for.

Castle Chiroptera.

It's Latin for a bat.

Ahh.

You do know.

Yes, bats.

Bats are such lovely creatures.

Bless their hearts.

They have such a
bad image these days.

And your project is
going help their image.

You know, of course, that
bats are night creatures...

and navigate by a sort of radar.

Well, believe it or not, and
I'm sure you will believe it.

I have altered their mechanisms so
that it interferes with man-made radar.

Here, I'll show you.

I will release a single
bat into the radar pattern...

on the top of the castle.

Watch. That should turn
him lose. Now, watch.

Isn't that mad?

Yes, it's absolutely mad.

In every major airport in the world,
there is a crate containing 100 such bats.

Tomorrow morning, a
signal from this castle...

will blow the lids
off and free them.

Do you realize the
chaos it will cause...

in the transportation and
defense systems of the world?

A billion dollars’
worth, I understand.

Unfortunately, that sum
was not forthcoming.

Mr. Kuryakin.

Another thing about my bats.

We have found the
South American variety...

the vampire bat is most
suitable for our purposes.

And the most bloodthirsty.

Are you still sure you
do not want to talk?

I'm quite sure.

Very well.

Let me introduce
you to my friends.

British Air Ministry,
British Air Ministry.

This is U.N.C.L.E. calling.
Do you read me? Over.

Yes, I have you now.
Your signal is a little weak.

I read you. Will
you hold, please?

Mr. Waverly, they're showing
the first signs of panic...

in Paris and Hong Kong, sir.

And the Karachi Airport
wants confirmation.

Confirm it, of course.

All flights are to be cancelled.

Yes, sir. Oh, and, sir, I have
the British Air Ministry now.

Good.

Mr. Waverly here.

Yes, that's right.

We can't afford
to take the chance.

Operation Night Flight is
scheduled to start in 12 hours.

Of course, it's regrettable
if the people panic.

To paraphrase Marie
Antoinette, "Let them drive cars."

As far as we know, the plane left in
the air has one of our agents aboard.

That was a right fine movie.

Do you like spy
movies, Mr. Solo?

Oh. Napoleon?

They're all right if you
like light entertainment.

I just think they're
pretty far-fetched.

You are right.

Well, Mr. Kuryakin, you
appear to be growing weaker.

You sure you have
not changed your mind?

Why do you need it so badly?

I suppose I could tell you.

It won't matter to you
one way or the other.

It's information for retrieving
the bats once they are released.

The precise pattern
of frequencies.

You see, it wouldn't very practical to
leave the bats flying around indefinitely.

So you see, Mr. Kuryakin...

you'll be performing a
humanitarian service if you tell me.

I...

I have no intention of doing so.

We are now approaching
the Vienna Airport.

- Fasten your seatbelts, please.
- My goodness.

- Are we coming down in Europe already?
- Mm-hm.

- We are indeed.
- Land of goodness.

Back home, it take me this
long to get to the county seat...

and that's only about 30 mile.

I think you have about...

two more hours.

If you'll excuse me.

Zark here.

Solo and the girl are
approaching your installation.

Do you want interception?

Ahh. What a nuisance.
Yes, yes, take care of them.

Wait, wait.

Change that.

That girl could be very useful to
me. Are you still in contact with her?

Affirmative.

Transmit to her that they are
to come directly to the front gate.

I'll be waiting for them there.

- I just... Oh, wait a minute.
- What is it?

I...

I just had a thought.

We should go in the front gate.

Did it come from them?

Well, I can't be
sure but I think so.

That cave you told Illya about?

Wouldn't it be that way?

Okay, Clemency, you know best.

The front gate it is.

It's a good thing his
transmitter is still holding up.

This way.

The very eve of Night Flight they
think I have nothing better to do than...

Ah. Mr. Kuryakin.

I gather he has decided to tell
us what we want to know, huh?

Very good, very good.
Excuse me, I'll be right with you.

Hello, this is Zark.

I was given information before that
this Solo was to arrive immediately.

I'm put out. I've been waiting at the
front gate for who knows how long.

Our information
is that he arrived.

If that is the quality
of your information...

please do not bother
me with any more of it.

No one takes pride in their work anymore.
No one wants to accept responsibility.

Seems pretty accurate to me.

See about Illya.

Oh, Mr. Kuryakin,
I'm so glad to see you.

My name is Clemency
McGill. You don't know me...

but I'm partly responsible
for your being here.

Oh, I could almost hug
you, I'm so glad to see you.

You know how to
handle a gun, Clemency?

Well, I once shot a turkey in the
tail-feathers at more than a quarter-mile.

All right.

Keep him right where he is.

My, ain't he a
mean-looking feller, though.

My dear primitive child.

I hope you don't think that this will
stop Operation Night Flight, Mr. Solo.

- That's the general idea.
- No.

It merely means I will have to put
it into operation that much sooner.

An inconvenience, to
be sure, to our people...

who will not be able
get out of the way.

But...

Watch out for his hand.

- Nice little pets.
- One of them got out.

Ooh!

- Where is Zark?
- He's gone to his control center.

Do you know where that is? - No.

We can't spend our time
searching all of these corridors...

It's over there. Behind
that wall. I know it.

It's the comb, Clemency.

No, it isn't. My hair came down
when I was dodging that thing.

Okay, this way.

- In here?
- Yes.

Here.

The devil take your soul.

I think all your operations
have been cancelled, Mr. Zark.

I admit I'm a bit
disappointed, Mr. Kuryakin.

But do not crow too much.

You see...

I have already opened up
all the gates from the caves.

Yes, my global plans
have been thwarted.

But let me tell you...

that millions of bats will not
go unnoticed on this continent.

- Is he bluffing?
- Listen.

Listen, Mr. Solo.

Never mind about him.
What about those bats?

We could start by
shooting them one by one.

He said it was a way
to recall the bats...

but the only thing on that piece
of paper was a series of numbers.

- Do you remember?
- Of course.

What to do with them...

Unless...

What?

Well, he said if their radar
can interfere with ours...

It works in reverse order.
A radar-control setting, huh?

Well, let's see.

Oh.

Five.

Yes, 55.

It works.

The bats are flying
into each other...

and into the cliffs.

Oh, Mr. Kuryakin...

how does it feel to
have saved Europe?

I don't know.

I hadn't really
thought about it.

Yes, I doubt that Mr. Transom
will be heard from for quite a while.

Well, I surely am grateful for
that. I never did like that man.

Of course, if I'd never met him,
none of this would've happened.

And I would have missed out
on a powerful lot of excitement.

- So would I.
- Oh, you do forgive me.

Don't you, Mr. Kuryakin?

Well, I'm very tolerant. Why don't we
go somewhere tonight and discuss it?

I was going to suggest...

that Miss McGill go to a
concert with me this evening.

I'd like her to have the advantage
of some of the city's cultural benefits.

Well, I purely am grateful
to the both of you...

but, well, Mr. Solo has been
kind enough to ask me out.

Oh.

Oh, well, we have been
through quite a bit together...

and I just thought we
might have a little relaxation.

He's gonna take me to a
place called the Purple Unicorn.

Now, how did you know that?

I don't know.

I guess I got the gift.