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O'BRIEN: I think these people
get on these cars
4
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,613
thinking they're gonna see --
"There's Brad Pitt.
5
00:00:25,738 --> 00:00:30,159
He's sweeping off the sidewalk
in front of his house. Hey, there, Brad."
6
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,872
Hey, it's me, Conan O'Brien
from "The Tonight Show"! Hi!
7
00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:40,336
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:40,795 --> 00:00:43,381
I should have said,
"Formerly of 'The Tonight Show."'
9
00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:51,931
NARRATOR: O'Brien was announced
as Leno's "Tonight Show" successor
10
00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:53,516
back in 2004,
11
00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:56,060
and five years later,
his "Tonight Show" premiered.
12
00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:59,939
But the network suits wanted to keep
the still-popular Jay Leno,
13
00:01:00,106 --> 00:01:01,941
so they had an idea --
14
00:01:02,108 --> 00:01:05,861
create a new prime-time talk show
for Jay Leno at 10:00 P.M.
15
00:01:05,987 --> 00:01:09,115
That way they hold on to both
of their hosts and save money
16
00:01:09,323 --> 00:01:12,034
on producing
original scripted programming.
17
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,828
But the experiment failed.
18
00:01:13,953 --> 00:01:17,123
Critics panned Leno's show,
and the ratings went way down.
19
00:01:17,248 --> 00:01:20,626
And Conan's "Tonight Show" ratings
were disappointing, as well.
20
00:01:20,751 --> 00:01:24,338
So, they came up with another idea --
push the whole lineup later.
21
00:01:24,463 --> 00:01:27,925
So, Jay Leno's show would go on
in the "Tonight Show" slot,
22
00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:31,053
and "The Tonight Show"
would follow at 12:05 A.M.
23
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,264
O'BRIEN: I didn't want to be
the first "Tonight Show" host
24
00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:35,808
to take "The Tonight Show"
into the next day,
25
00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:40,521
so I said that didn't
really work for me.
26
00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,106
CROWD:
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
27
00:01:42,231 --> 00:01:43,983
Jay Leno's show has got to go!
28
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:45,610
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
29
00:01:45,818 --> 00:01:48,696
Jay Leno's show has got to go!
Hey, hey!
30
00:01:48,904 --> 00:01:51,616
Jay is a liar!
He said he'd retire!
31
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:54,160
[ People shouting angrily ]
32
00:01:54,285 --> 00:01:56,329
MAN:
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
33
00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:59,790
[ Crowd cheering ]
34
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:16,891
O'BRIEN: I am prohibited
from being on television right now,
35
00:02:17,016 --> 00:02:21,145
contractually, for the next 5, 6 months.
36
00:02:21,312 --> 00:02:24,065
What if I could just go
out there and see these people
37
00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:27,777
who were so nice and supportive
and put on a show for them?
38
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:29,403
And now it's -- it's this.
39
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:35,701
It's...I don't know, 44 dates,
starting April 12th.
40
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:46,295
I'm 46, and what do I do now?
41
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,089
What else do I have to say?
42
00:02:48,214 --> 00:02:50,132
And it's just trying
to figure that out right away,
43
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:53,594
and so the tour will be interesting,
'cause I don't quite know what it's gonna be.
44
00:02:53,719 --> 00:02:56,639
I just know that I've always liked
being in front of an audience.
45
00:02:56,764 --> 00:02:59,767
That's all I know, is I really like
being in front of an audience.
46
00:02:59,975 --> 00:03:01,769
MAN:
You haven't stopped at all.
47
00:03:01,894 --> 00:03:07,066
You started thinking about this
the day after your final "Tonight Show."
48
00:03:07,191 --> 00:03:09,151
Day -- the day of. Yeah.
49
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:13,656
Why do you think that is, and what
would that mean for you to stop?
50
00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:16,200
I don't know
what it would be like to stop.
51
00:03:16,409 --> 00:03:19,912
What do you mean, stop?
What does that even mean?
52
00:03:20,162 --> 00:03:23,708
Really, my main goal for this
is to have some fun.
53
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:27,962
Do you think you could have fun
without an audience in front of you?
54
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,633
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
55
00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,719
-We're in E, right?
-Yeah.
56
00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:43,602
I really have fun
when I'm with the -- with writers
57
00:03:43,811 --> 00:03:49,108
or when I'm with musicians
and we're working things out.
58
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,568
Then I'm content.
59
00:03:50,818 --> 00:03:52,903
-MAN: Hey!
-RICHTER: Hey!
60
00:03:54,238 --> 00:03:57,074
-Hi, everybody.
-Hey!
61
00:03:57,199 --> 00:04:00,035
-Did the eating already happen?
-It just happened.
62
00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:04,665
I had an idea a couple days ago,
which was striking me as kind of funny,
63
00:04:04,874 --> 00:04:07,543
which is go out and say,
"As you know, there are, whatever,
64
00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:10,004
the seven stages of grief
that people go through."
65
00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:12,214
It turns out there are seven stages
66
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,092
that you have to go through
when you lose your television show.
67
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,636
The first one is denial.
68
00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:22,725
The last stage is
you get your ass to Cleveland.
69
00:04:23,225 --> 00:04:24,894
Like, you make them the last stage.
70
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:25,978
[ Imitating cheers ]
71
00:04:26,103 --> 00:04:27,813
"We're from Cleveland!"
72
00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:29,356
[ Imitates gunshot ]
73
00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:30,983
[ Laughter ]
74
00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:33,986
Now, the whole point of this tour
was let's have some fun.
75
00:04:34,153 --> 00:04:35,696
RICHTER:
Yeah, get him. Hit him.
76
00:04:35,821 --> 00:04:38,365
If there's ever been a time
in my life to just say...
77
00:04:38,491 --> 00:04:39,909
Whoo, whoo!
78
00:04:40,117 --> 00:04:42,203
..."to hell with it," it's now.
79
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,456
We're about to start a 32-city tour,
and it's coming up fast, gang.
80
00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:46,957
"Hey, Conan, how'd the fight go?"
81
00:04:47,082 --> 00:04:49,293
"It went pretty good, I guess."
82
00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,296
And you guys are worried about me
filling an hour and a half.
83
00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:54,757
Just have fun and feel it.
84
00:04:54,882 --> 00:04:57,009
MAN: You guys know enough about...
Yeah.
85
00:04:57,134 --> 00:04:59,720
And we're doing this where,
you know, we're playing it like
86
00:04:59,845 --> 00:05:01,847
I just, you know -- I've never
had backup singers in my life.
87
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:04,183
This is my dream, and then these
two beautiful backup singers come out.
88
00:05:04,308 --> 00:05:06,393
Ladies and gentlemen,
for the first time ever, the Coquettes!
89
00:05:06,519 --> 00:05:08,729
[ "Polk Salad Annie" plays ]
90
00:05:13,943 --> 00:05:14,985
Yeah.
91
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,320
♪ Polk salad ♪
92
00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:18,030
♪ Polk salad ♪
93
00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:19,406
♪ Gonna have me a mess of ♪
94
00:05:19,532 --> 00:05:21,242
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
95
00:05:21,367 --> 00:05:22,701
♪ Polk salad ♪
96
00:05:22,827 --> 00:05:24,411
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
97
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:25,871
♪ Gonna have me a mess of ♪
98
00:05:25,996 --> 00:05:27,164
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
99
00:05:27,289 --> 00:05:29,041
♪ Gonna have some polk salad ♪
100
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,292
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
101
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,127
♪ Gonna have me a mess of ♪
102
00:05:32,253 --> 00:05:33,587
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
103
00:05:33,712 --> 00:05:35,881
♪ Gonna have some polk salad ♪
Come on, ladies! Like me!
104
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:37,466
♪ Da na na na na ♪
105
00:05:37,591 --> 00:05:40,553
♪ D-a-a-a ♪
106
00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:44,265
[ Music stops, scattered applause ]
107
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,058
WOMAN:
You are not playing.
108
00:05:46,183 --> 00:05:47,017
[Laughter ]
109
00:05:47,142 --> 00:05:48,018
What's that?
110
00:05:48,143 --> 00:05:50,020
-You are not playing.
-No.
111
00:05:50,187 --> 00:05:52,356
It's like the Michael Jackson movie.
112
00:05:52,523 --> 00:05:54,441
-Let's try these two.
-I think these two.
113
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:56,110
-It's --
-O'BRIEN: Let's do it.
114
00:05:56,235 --> 00:05:58,821
♪ I want my own show again ♪
115
00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:02,074
♪ Oh, I really can't wait
to have my own show again ♪
116
00:06:04,076 --> 00:06:07,496
♪ Oxygen Network, give me a call
if you're listening ♪
117
00:06:07,621 --> 00:06:10,916
♪ I can't wait to have
my own show again ♪
118
00:06:12,084 --> 00:06:15,254
♪ I can't wait to get
my own show again ♪
119
00:06:15,379 --> 00:06:16,547
Jesus Christ!
120
00:06:16,672 --> 00:06:20,301
♪ I can't wait to get
my own show again ♪
121
00:06:20,426 --> 00:06:22,803
[ Music stops ]
122
00:06:22,928 --> 00:06:25,347
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
123
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,765
Change it in the middle.
124
00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:28,726
Then it just starts to become this bitter --
125
00:06:28,851 --> 00:06:31,353
It'd actually be funny to have it start
as "On the Road Again"
126
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,314
and then morph
into "I cannot wait for this"...
127
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,273
[ Harmonizing ]
128
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,025
Comedy people, check this out
129
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,693
and see if I need to be pulled
over and given a ticket
130
00:06:37,818 --> 00:06:39,069
or if we can possibly get away with this.
131
00:06:39,194 --> 00:06:40,905
You want to sit over there,
Zack, on the floor?
132
00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:42,907
We were playing
"On the Road Again,"
133
00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:44,825
which is a song, you know --
♪ On the road again ♪
134
00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,702
just a fun song,
and I'd like to start it out
135
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,621
as "On the Road Again,"
and then we come back
136
00:06:48,746 --> 00:06:50,456
and I go
♪ My own show again ♪
137
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:52,666
♪ I can't wait to have
my own show again ♪
138
00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:57,630
Give me a second.
Something with "at 10:00," like, the time.
139
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:58,797
Yeah.
140
00:06:58,923 --> 00:07:01,550
♪ I'd even take a primetime show
that's on at 10:00 ♪
141
00:07:01,675 --> 00:07:04,011
[ Laughter ]
142
00:07:04,136 --> 00:07:06,305
♪ I just want to be on the... ♪
143
00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:08,807
O'BRIEN:
There's fuel there because...
144
00:07:09,934 --> 00:07:14,271
I am angry.
I'm really angry at times.
145
00:07:14,396 --> 00:07:19,360
I'm trying not to be,
but I'm really, really angry about --
146
00:07:19,485 --> 00:07:21,236
and I just have to be honest --
147
00:07:21,362 --> 00:07:25,366
I'm very angry about the way
that I was treated,
148
00:07:25,491 --> 00:07:26,867
and I'm a person who's --
149
00:07:26,992 --> 00:07:29,787
I'm the least entitled person
you'll meet in the world.
150
00:07:29,912 --> 00:07:32,331
I don't think I was entitled
to "The Tonight Show."
151
00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:35,042
I don't think I'm entitled
to success in show business,
152
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:36,418
but I'm just --
153
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,879
sometimes I'm so mad,
I can't even breathe.
154
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:42,049
And I do think that this show
155
00:07:42,174 --> 00:07:45,636
is some sort of,
at least, positive expression,
156
00:07:45,761 --> 00:07:50,224
because all that -- there's all
that steam energy of being angry,
157
00:07:50,349 --> 00:07:54,687
and so it comes out
a little bit in performance.
158
00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:56,981
You can get out there
and talk to people
159
00:07:57,106 --> 00:08:00,401
at least about being unemployed,
160
00:08:00,526 --> 00:08:03,070
being legally prohibited
from being on television,
161
00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:05,364
which is gonna be something
I talk about.
162
00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:08,033
You can have the --
I can play the executives.
163
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,495
And while that's not
any one particular person,
164
00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,789
it definitely is me saying
165
00:08:13,998 --> 00:08:17,710
to the whole idea
of non-creative people
166
00:08:17,835 --> 00:08:20,546
screwing over people
that feed their bone marrow
167
00:08:20,671 --> 00:08:24,008
into the wood chipper of television,
168
00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:26,802
"Fuck you," you know.
That's part of it.
169
00:08:27,011 --> 00:08:28,345
I don't know what this was.
170
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,097
Jeff just told me to sign --
to have you sign this.
171
00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:31,515
Okay. He didn't say where or anything?
172
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,683
Did you want to --
No, I think --
173
00:08:32,808 --> 00:08:34,435
No, no,
I don't need to read it.
174
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,771
God knows I stopped reading things
I signed a long time ago.
175
00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:43,110
MAN: Are there any, of all
the TV executives, like this at NBC?
176
00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,696
I don't know. I haven't
thought about them in a while.
177
00:08:45,821 --> 00:08:49,033
There are some
follicly challenged executives, I'm sure.
178
00:08:49,158 --> 00:08:52,786
But -- but, really,
this represents no one person.
179
00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:54,455
It represents two people.
180
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:56,707
[ Laughs ]
181
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,335
Or make it three.
182
00:09:03,672 --> 00:09:06,967
Um, hey, Sweeney,
should we talk about how much
183
00:09:07,092 --> 00:09:08,761
I want to look or not look like --
184
00:09:08,969 --> 00:09:11,847
Hello, there!
I'm a generic network executive.
185
00:09:11,972 --> 00:09:15,768
My name is...
[ Coughs ]
186
00:09:16,226 --> 00:09:18,687
I thought I'd stop in tonight
187
00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:21,774
and check out
your pathetic little show
188
00:09:21,899 --> 00:09:24,276
in your pathetic little city.
189
00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:25,778
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
190
00:09:25,903 --> 00:09:27,237
Is someone walking
in and out of the door?
191
00:09:27,362 --> 00:09:30,115
Please, someone.
We need someone to guard the door.
192
00:09:30,324 --> 00:09:33,619
Gonna announce this thing,
and then it's just time
193
00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:37,998
for the nausea and the self-doubt
and the fear to take over.
194
00:09:38,123 --> 00:09:39,374
That's the fun part.
195
00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:41,960
All right, I'm gonna -- where am I
gonna be doing this from?
196
00:09:42,169 --> 00:09:43,587
You're gonna have to set it up
for me to submit.
197
00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:44,546
Wherever you want.
198
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,423
Well, we're gonna do it
from your microcomputer.
199
00:09:46,548 --> 00:09:48,300
It was made in Micronesia.
200
00:09:48,425 --> 00:09:49,718
Are you --
do you want to pull it up?
201
00:09:49,843 --> 00:09:50,594
No. Do it on the --
202
00:09:50,719 --> 00:09:52,554
We're gonna do it early.
We're gonna do it right now.
203
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,765
I can't believe I'm here for this.
204
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:57,226
-Hit it.
-Good luck.
205
00:09:57,392 --> 00:09:59,603
Hey, Internet, I'm headed to your town
in a half-assed comedy/music tour.
206
00:09:59,728 --> 00:10:03,107
Go to http://teamcoco.com for tix.
I repeat, it's half-assed.
207
00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:06,110
It's in God's hands now.
208
00:10:07,069 --> 00:10:09,404
What time is it? 7:20.
209
00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:11,740
-By 7:40, I'm out of the business.
-Sure.
210
00:10:11,949 --> 00:10:14,618
The promoter in New York's telling me
the first Radio City show is sold out.
211
00:10:14,743 --> 00:10:16,703
-It's what?
-So, everything's starting to go, huh?
212
00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:19,206
So, when do you think we're adding
the second show in Radio City?
213
00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:22,793
Both shows in Chicago and the one show
in Minneapolis are officially sold out.
214
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:27,089
700 tickets shy of selling out
the second show at Radio City.
215
00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:28,423
Holy smokes.
216
00:10:28,549 --> 00:10:29,174
Jesu--
217
00:10:29,341 --> 00:10:31,385
Toronto will sell out today for sure.
218
00:10:31,593 --> 00:10:32,928
Minneapolis will be done today.
219
00:10:33,053 --> 00:10:36,557
-The West Coast stuff is a little slower...
-O'BRIEN: Right.
220
00:10:36,682 --> 00:10:38,100
-Because it's early.
-Yes.
221
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:40,811
Uhh... It's great.
222
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:43,397
2,000 tickets already sold
on the second show in Chicago.
223
00:10:43,522 --> 00:10:45,983
MOVSESIAN: The teamcoco.com site
is taking too long to load.
224
00:10:46,108 --> 00:10:48,527
Oh. Well, it's getting crushed, I'm sure.
225
00:10:48,652 --> 00:10:49,111
Yeah.
226
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:52,406
Cynthia just got the tweet.
She can't get onto the site.
227
00:10:52,573 --> 00:10:55,117
"The site right now is jammed with traffic.
You can't get on, go to Ticketmaster."
228
00:10:55,242 --> 00:10:56,535
Let's write that up and send it out.
229
00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:58,954
I think it's jammed with traffic -- yes.
230
00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:00,539
You're all dressed!
231
00:11:00,664 --> 00:11:01,915
[ Smooches ]
232
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,085
Nothing motivates you
to figure out what your show is
233
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:08,630
like selling a whole bunch of tickets... to it.
234
00:11:09,506 --> 00:11:12,217
After the band's done their first two songs,
235
00:11:12,384 --> 00:11:15,179
they stop playing, the place gets quiet,
236
00:11:15,387 --> 00:11:19,766
all the lights go out, and we go.
237
00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:23,061
♪ You see, my daddy
was lazy and no-count ♪
238
00:11:23,187 --> 00:11:26,148
♪ He claimed he had a bad back ♪
239
00:11:26,273 --> 00:11:29,318
♪ And all my brothers was good for ♪
240
00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:32,070
♪ Watermelons out of my tool sack ♪
241
00:11:32,237 --> 00:11:34,656
We got -- we're close.
242
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:39,786
I love staring into this black void
and getting no response.
243
00:11:39,912 --> 00:11:41,163
What are you doing there?
244
00:11:41,288 --> 00:11:44,791
A Brookstone catalog going on?
What are you doing? I'll buy it for you.
245
00:11:44,917 --> 00:11:46,084
Let's come on.
246
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:47,544
You guys okay with the audio?
247
00:11:47,669 --> 00:11:50,464
I'm not getting any response from anybody.
It's just looking into a pit.
248
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:53,133
All right.
Well, enjoy your death star.
249
00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:55,469
I'm trying -- you had
a problem with the audio,
250
00:11:55,594 --> 00:11:57,888
and I'm trying to determine
if that's been set.
251
00:11:58,013 --> 00:12:00,724
It's just a question of the mix
when you're playing --
252
00:12:00,849 --> 00:12:04,686
O'BRIEN: I just wanted to see you stand up.
I appreciate it. Let's go.
253
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:08,023
I had this idea that I've talked about,
254
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:13,111
which is to wear -- wear a suit
that's an exact replica
255
00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:15,322
of the one that Eddie Murphy wore
in "Raw."
256
00:12:15,447 --> 00:12:17,699
WOMAN: Bend over.
Touch your knees, please.
257
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,035
Monday, I think
I'm getting fitted for it.
258
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,703
Daddy, you look silly.
259
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,872
[ Laughter ]
260
00:12:24,414 --> 00:12:26,458
[ Laughter ]
261
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,044
Fuck, yeah.
262
00:12:29,169 --> 00:12:30,295
[ Applause ]
263
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,589
Oh, my God.
264
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:37,344
I don't even think
I can sit down in this outfit.
265
00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:41,014
Well, it would be interesting to see you
try and sit in a bean bag chair.
266
00:12:44,476 --> 00:12:45,686
Oh.
267
00:12:45,811 --> 00:12:49,898
[ Laughter ]
268
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:51,275
O'BRIEN:
Is that a butter sauce?
269
00:12:51,483 --> 00:12:53,735
Can you see
if you can find Sona?
270
00:12:53,902 --> 00:12:57,823
Look at that fish.
I think that's butter sauce.
271
00:12:58,156 --> 00:12:59,700
What'd it say
when you ordered it?
272
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:01,576
I just need just a simple piece
of grilled fish.
273
00:13:01,785 --> 00:13:03,537
Sorry to have
to let you go over this.
274
00:13:03,662 --> 00:13:05,998
Oh. I think the restaurant
just messed up, 'cause --
275
00:13:06,123 --> 00:13:08,500
Either way, you're losing
your job over this.
276
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:12,629
I really do not want to lose my job.
277
00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:15,299
That's what people
who lose their job say.
278
00:13:15,424 --> 00:13:17,009
Who says,
"I'm glad I'm losing my job"?
279
00:13:17,134 --> 00:13:18,302
-I think I could be good.
-Yes?
280
00:13:18,427 --> 00:13:20,804
We have another one coming.
I just sent the other runner.
281
00:13:20,971 --> 00:13:22,431
-Did you get me a new assistant?
-I'm trying to keep my job.
282
00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,432
Do you mean
a new assistant coming?
283
00:13:23,598 --> 00:13:24,725
That's cool.
I'm just trying to keep my job.
284
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:26,560
It's fine. This happens often.
285
00:13:26,685 --> 00:13:29,688
With ordering food out on tour,
you have to check everything.
286
00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:31,565
We can't -- It's just --
287
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:32,733
Oh, so Sona
should check things?
288
00:13:32,858 --> 00:13:33,984
-Oh.
-No, no, no. Like...
289
00:13:34,109 --> 00:13:35,277
Gus, I can't believe you would --
290
00:13:35,402 --> 00:13:38,405
-No, I'm not throwing her under the bus.
-Gus, you're missing the point.
291
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:41,116
I want you to throw Sona
under the bus.
292
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,784
It gives me joy.
293
00:13:42,951 --> 00:13:45,579
Tony can tell you what happened,
but it's gonna be fine.
294
00:13:45,704 --> 00:13:47,956
-Over half the time, I do it right.
-Yeah.
295
00:13:48,081 --> 00:13:49,750
O'BRIEN:
That's great.
296
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:52,919
If you were an airplane pilot,
there'd be a lot of dead people out there.
297
00:13:53,045 --> 00:13:54,463
And I'm trying to keep it lean,
298
00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:58,258
and she keeps going out
and getting me fish that lived in butter.
299
00:13:58,383 --> 00:14:00,052
It actually lived
and grew up in butter.
300
00:14:00,177 --> 00:14:01,261
But you're gonna be fine.
301
00:14:01,386 --> 00:14:02,637
I said no butter.
302
00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:05,724
Usually I'm at a certain weight
and then when I went off TV...
303
00:14:05,849 --> 00:14:07,351
[ Laughter ]
304
00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:09,102
There was a period there of...
305
00:14:09,227 --> 00:14:10,729
Just -- no, that's okay.
306
00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:12,522
Of just, like, cheese popcorn.
307
00:14:12,647 --> 00:14:15,567
There was, like, what I call
my "fuck it" period.
308
00:14:15,692 --> 00:14:18,695
"Fuck them. Fuck them.
They're crazy."
309
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:19,988
[ Imitating gurgling ]
310
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,412
Oh, God.
311
00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:30,374
[ Bottle clatters ]
312
00:14:30,499 --> 00:14:32,334
Hello? Job?
Tell me it's a job.
313
00:14:32,459 --> 00:14:35,003
I'm still -- we're making it up.
314
00:14:35,128 --> 00:14:37,047
First you got to sell tickets.
315
00:14:37,172 --> 00:14:39,174
We did that.
That's the hard part.
316
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:41,843
Then you come up with a show.
317
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,804
Apple's new iPad will be declared
318
00:14:43,929 --> 00:14:46,181
the most revolutionary device
of the last 50 years
319
00:14:46,306 --> 00:14:51,311
by the editors of
Things to Snort Cocaine Off Of magazine.
320
00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:53,438
Oh, the TBS thing is at 4:00.
321
00:14:53,563 --> 00:14:56,149
We find out how real that is,
if that's really happening.
322
00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:58,110
Yeah, we're not going on TBS.
323
00:14:58,276 --> 00:15:00,153
When is our meeting on Oxygen, Jeff?
324
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:03,031
[ Laughter ]
325
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,200
All I know is that Sona
hears these things
326
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:07,452
and then moves
heaven and earth to make sure
327
00:15:07,577 --> 00:15:12,332
that we cancel our rehearsals
so that you and I drag our asses to TBS.
328
00:15:12,457 --> 00:15:13,834
And then it's USA.
329
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:15,544
My scheme is for Animal Planet.
330
00:15:15,669 --> 00:15:17,170
All right, now, ladies and gentlemen,
I know you're glad
331
00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:19,214
to see the masturbating bear,
but there is a problem.
332
00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:22,884
The masturbating bear
is legally the property of NBC.
333
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:26,930
Ladies and gentlemen,
say good-bye to the masturbating bear
334
00:15:27,055 --> 00:15:29,266
and say hello
to a brand-new character
335
00:15:29,391 --> 00:15:31,393
that you're gonna see tonight
for the first time,
336
00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:34,729
our own self-pleasuring panda.
337
00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:36,773
[ Upbeat music plays ]
338
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:38,066
Guys, guys, there's a problem here.
339
00:15:38,191 --> 00:15:41,153
When I say, "the self-pleasuring panda,"
he never seems to know to go,
340
00:15:41,278 --> 00:15:43,405
and then you guys keep playing,
so nothing happens.
341
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:46,158
-Can the actor who's playing -- who is it?
-Blake.
342
00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:48,994
Blake, can you not hear me
when I say, "the self-pleasuring panda"?
343
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:51,580
-What's that?
-Oh, fuck you.
344
00:15:51,788 --> 00:15:53,373
Kiss LaBamba.
345
00:15:53,582 --> 00:15:56,543
And then we cut to LaBamba.
Hold it. Hold it. That's important.
346
00:15:56,668 --> 00:15:59,004
If we don't have the cut to Loco Richie there,
then we got nothing.
347
00:15:59,129 --> 00:16:02,507
It's got to be LaBamba. Bang.
348
00:16:02,924 --> 00:16:04,342
This thing's a train wreck.
349
00:16:05,969 --> 00:16:08,680
Oh, I just rubbed this microphone
into my leaking eye.
350
00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:12,392
Sorry. Seriously,
no one touch this microphone.
351
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:14,644
There's eye discharge on the mike.
352
00:16:15,562 --> 00:16:18,398
Yeah, that's the problem.
Left and right, chopaholics.
353
00:16:18,523 --> 00:16:19,524
I want these fucking people --
354
00:16:19,691 --> 00:16:21,485
It's like bang, bang,
bang, bang, bang.
355
00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:22,903
And I was trying
to make it happen today,
356
00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,613
and you thought,
"Oh, he's insulting me."
357
00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:26,781
-I know that.
-Check it out, guys.
358
00:16:26,907 --> 00:16:29,951
Hello? Hello?
Banana Company.
359
00:16:31,745 --> 00:16:33,914
Fuck.
Fuck. That's what he did.
360
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:37,000
No, there's no support here.
361
00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:39,211
I went out on a limb
with Banana Company.
362
00:16:39,419 --> 00:16:40,795
Hey, telephone call for you.
Pick it up.
363
00:16:40,921 --> 00:16:43,465
-Hello? Banana Company.
-Yes!
364
00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:45,008
I like using human puppets.
365
00:16:45,217 --> 00:16:46,885
MOVSESIAN:
Can I ask a question about --
366
00:16:47,010 --> 00:16:48,512
That was just to look
at all of 'em.
367
00:16:48,637 --> 00:16:50,055
Yeah, we're not sure
if we're gonna do them all.
368
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,098
And from now on -- and I'm not
even kidding about this --
369
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:54,476
when you want to speak, you have to talk
into the banana telephone.
370
00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,144
-I'm not gonna talk into the banana.
-You have to.
371
00:16:56,353 --> 00:16:59,981
Guys, Sona's on. Sona's got something
to say. What is it, Sona?
372
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:03,151
-This is really demeaning.
-Yes. Yes. I don't know why --
373
00:17:03,318 --> 00:17:04,945
You're asking me
to talk into a banana.
374
00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:07,531
I just did it seven times,
and you're too good to do it?
375
00:17:07,656 --> 00:17:11,159
This is not a good work environment.
What's happening right now is not healthy for me.
376
00:17:11,368 --> 00:17:13,787
We lost two songs,
"Seduce You" and "Creep."
377
00:17:14,037 --> 00:17:15,080
Matt, what do you got?
378
00:17:15,205 --> 00:17:17,207
Oh, yeah. Matt, make a suggestion
in the banana phone.
379
00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:19,751
Does everyone like
"On the Road Again"?
380
00:17:19,876 --> 00:17:21,753
[ Laughter ]
381
00:17:21,878 --> 00:17:23,296
[ Door opens, slams ]
382
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:24,965
I was just throwing it out there.
383
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:26,675
-You know.
-Well, guess what I'm doing --
384
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,009
-Throwing it back.
-Okay.
385
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,594
Okay? You're a guy
that works in the Louvre,
386
00:17:29,719 --> 00:17:31,888
You saw the Mona Lisa,
and you tossed it out the window.
387
00:17:32,013 --> 00:17:35,392
Luckily, I came by, saw it,
and brought it back, okay?
388
00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:37,269
And you're like, "Well, I was
just throwing it out there."
389
00:17:37,394 --> 00:17:39,437
[ Laughter ]
390
00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:42,857
You threw the Mona Lisa
out of the Louvre, you idiot.
391
00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:45,610
RICHTER: You think doing
"On the Road Again" is the Mona Lisa?
392
00:17:45,902 --> 00:17:48,071
-And this is the Louvre?
-Yes.
393
00:17:48,196 --> 00:17:50,448
-All right.
-Yes. I like that.
394
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:53,535
And I'm sick of people saying
that I'm drunk with power,
395
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,036
that I've lost my perspective.
396
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,037
Who says that?
397
00:17:56,246 --> 00:17:57,414
-MOVSESIAN: Can I talk?
-Yes.
398
00:17:57,539 --> 00:17:58,707
ALL:
Ohh!
399
00:17:58,832 --> 00:18:00,417
Now she comes over.
400
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:01,626
You had asked me earlier --
401
00:18:01,751 --> 00:18:02,877
I can't hear you.
402
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:05,130
-You asked me earlier --
-Hold it.
403
00:18:05,255 --> 00:18:06,881
-Just hold it.
-Can't concentrate.
404
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:09,968
So, we lost about 16 minutes
with all that stuff,
405
00:18:10,093 --> 00:18:11,970
so it's about a minute, 13 now.
406
00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:13,138
I mean an hour, 13.
407
00:18:13,263 --> 00:18:15,890
You said a minute, 13,
and you said it into a banana.
408
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:17,225
[ Laughs ]
409
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:20,228
I am extremely hard on myself.
410
00:18:20,437 --> 00:18:22,397
Sometimes that spills
onto other people,
411
00:18:22,522 --> 00:18:24,399
you know, because
I'm that hard on myself,
412
00:18:24,524 --> 00:18:26,026
and then when things
aren't quite right,
413
00:18:26,151 --> 00:18:29,029
I'm making these jokes
that have an edge to them
414
00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:31,906
that are, like,
to Mike Sweeney, the head writer,
415
00:18:32,032 --> 00:18:35,952
to Jeff Ross, like, "Oh, really?
So, that's the best we could do?"
416
00:18:36,077 --> 00:18:39,205
Or this.
And they're little jabs.
417
00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:42,959
And they're jokes with
quotation marks around them...
418
00:18:43,084 --> 00:18:44,252
Just stretching out.
419
00:18:44,377 --> 00:18:46,755
...but it's me trying to keep -- I'm trying
to keep everything in the stew pot.
420
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:51,468
I'm trying to just keep it all, you know, there
and not have it spill out.
421
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:53,136
[ Oven door screeching ]
422
00:18:53,261 --> 00:18:54,971
Um, want to -- want to oil that?
423
00:18:55,096 --> 00:18:57,057
Um... See? That's an example.
424
00:18:57,182 --> 00:19:00,101
That's me letting my wife know
I find that irritating.
425
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,978
But it's all fun and joking.
426
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:05,023
And she's gonna leave me,
and it's a 50/50 state, California.
427
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,442
[ Upbeat music plays ]
428
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,194
How does the crowd look?
Who are they?
429
00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:11,529
What will we learn?
What will we learn?
430
00:19:11,738 --> 00:19:14,491
MOVSESIAN: You'll learn
what comedy bits work.
431
00:19:14,658 --> 00:19:15,533
Not necessarily.
432
00:19:15,659 --> 00:19:16,785
That's actually true. Sorry.
433
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,703
'Cause you're doing
a lot of Eugene references.
434
00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:21,039
You learn what former
"Tonight Show" staffers like.
435
00:19:21,164 --> 00:19:23,291
O'BRIEN: What's your prediction?
Will they like what we're serving up?
436
00:19:23,416 --> 00:19:26,378
Yes. I think so.
Why wouldn't they?
437
00:19:27,003 --> 00:19:28,838
I don't know.
438
00:19:29,381 --> 00:19:32,509
Thank you very much!
Everybody, please sit down!
439
00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:36,221
Thank you for being here,
people that used to work for me.
440
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:37,681
[ Laughter ]
441
00:19:37,889 --> 00:19:39,182
That was great
coming out here right now,
442
00:19:39,307 --> 00:19:40,767
'cause I'm gonna be
really honest with you.
443
00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:43,978
I'm like Tinker Bell.
Without applause, I die.
444
00:19:44,145 --> 00:19:45,980
♪ Polk Salad Annie ♪
445
00:19:46,106 --> 00:19:47,065
♪ Annie ♪
446
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:48,441
♪ Gators got your granny ♪
447
00:19:48,566 --> 00:19:50,110
♪ Gators got your granny ♪
448
00:19:50,235 --> 00:19:51,861
Not having any of it.
449
00:19:51,986 --> 00:19:54,072
Not having any of it.
450
00:19:54,239 --> 00:19:56,825
I wanted to thank everybody
for being here tonight.
451
00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:58,827
We're trying out a lot of stuff.
452
00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:01,788
We know that I'm trying out --
throwing a million things at you,
453
00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:03,456
and we appreciate people
coming all the way here
454
00:20:03,581 --> 00:20:04,999
and being an audience
for us tonight.
455
00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:06,543
So, thank you so much
for doing that.
456
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:07,961
I appreciate it
from the bottom of my heart.
457
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:10,463
Okay, everybody,
thank you very much!
458
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:13,216
[ Upbeat music plays ]
459
00:20:20,223 --> 00:20:22,767
-How are you?
-I was talking to Eddie Haskell.
460
00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:24,436
-Oh -- oh.
-Yes.
461
00:20:24,561 --> 00:20:27,272
So, we got fixes and things to do,
but what'd you think?
462
00:20:27,397 --> 00:20:31,192
It felt like -- I think the energy you're
gonna encounter is not a seated energy.
463
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,944
-Do you know what I mean?
-Right.
464
00:20:33,069 --> 00:20:35,238
How'd it feel?
465
00:20:36,656 --> 00:20:38,700
Have you talked to the kids?
466
00:20:38,825 --> 00:20:40,160
No. Mnh-mnh.
467
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:43,872
Are we gonna tell them that I'm gonna be
taking some trips to go do my show
468
00:20:43,997 --> 00:20:45,498
but I'm gonna call them and --
469
00:20:45,623 --> 00:20:47,876
-They know their old man's in vaudeville.
-That's right.
470
00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:49,419
[ Growls ]
471
00:20:49,627 --> 00:20:50,837
[ Laughter ]
472
00:20:50,962 --> 00:20:52,005
You know what Daddy has to do?
473
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:53,840
-I think I have to get ready to leave.
-Okay.
474
00:20:53,965 --> 00:20:56,301
Daddy has to go and get
on the plane and go to... where?
475
00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:58,136
Do you remember where I'm going?
476
00:20:58,261 --> 00:20:59,345
Can I call you on the iChat?
477
00:20:59,471 --> 00:21:02,307
-Who's gonna operate the computer iChat?
-We will operate.
478
00:21:02,432 --> 00:21:04,267
-[ Shouts ]
-[ Shrieks ]
479
00:21:07,061 --> 00:21:09,314
O'BRIEN:
In improvisational acting,
480
00:21:09,439 --> 00:21:11,149
there's this great rule
that I've used in my life,
481
00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:12,817
which is act as if.
482
00:21:12,942 --> 00:21:16,946
Act as if this is completely normal.
483
00:21:17,113 --> 00:21:18,615
Call me Conan, please.
484
00:21:18,782 --> 00:21:21,868
Of course I'm supposed to be
interviewing Barack Obama
485
00:21:21,993 --> 00:21:25,872
or of course I'm supposed to be
playing guitar with Bruce Springsteen.
486
00:21:25,997 --> 00:21:27,916
And, of course,
there's a big part of you inside
487
00:21:28,041 --> 00:21:29,667
that's saying,
"What are you talking about?"
488
00:21:29,793 --> 00:21:33,213
This doesn't feel completely real.
It doesn't feel completely real to me.
489
00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:37,509
This is just an extension of replacing
David Letterman at the age of 30.
490
00:21:37,717 --> 00:21:40,053
How's that first show gonna go?
What do you think, Sona?
491
00:21:40,178 --> 00:21:41,679
I think it's gonna go really well.
492
00:21:41,805 --> 00:21:44,349
[ Groans ]
493
00:21:44,557 --> 00:21:46,893
RICHTER: I think I saw a sign
that said Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
494
00:21:47,018 --> 00:21:49,646
Sheboygan?
I kill 'em in Sheboygan.
495
00:21:53,441 --> 00:21:55,777
Let's push this crowd back.
This is --
496
00:21:55,944 --> 00:21:57,654
I need room here.
497
00:21:59,072 --> 00:22:00,865
Everyone, give me some room.
498
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:02,617
Get these people back!
499
00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:04,202
I want everyone back!
500
00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:06,454
No! No photos!
501
00:22:06,621 --> 00:22:07,956
For security reasons,
502
00:22:08,081 --> 00:22:11,209
I think we should change our hotels
at the last second.
503
00:22:11,334 --> 00:22:14,254
Right. To something
twice as expensive.
504
00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:16,506
Yeah. It's something I learned
from Saddam Hussein.
505
00:22:16,631 --> 00:22:17,507
Yeah.
506
00:22:17,632 --> 00:22:18,258
All right, sir.
507
00:22:18,383 --> 00:22:19,717
-At what time...
-Good luck, man.
508
00:22:19,843 --> 00:22:21,469
-Hey, thank you very much.
-You got a raw deal, man.
509
00:22:21,594 --> 00:22:23,388
-We're with you.
-Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
510
00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:25,557
Conan, you got the shaft, brother.
511
00:22:25,682 --> 00:22:27,725
Oh, don't worry about that.
I'm okay.
512
00:22:27,851 --> 00:22:30,812
MAN: I love how we got here early
so you could go out and get recognized.
513
00:22:30,937 --> 00:22:32,522
O'BRIEN: Get the fuck out of here.
I didn't do that.
514
00:22:32,647 --> 00:22:34,107
[ Laughs ]
515
00:22:34,274 --> 00:22:35,733
You're speaking tomorrow, right?
516
00:22:35,859 --> 00:22:37,026
-Yes, yes.
-I hope it goes well.
517
00:22:37,151 --> 00:22:40,071
It'll be more than speaking.
Why don't you just go?
518
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,823
LIZA:
Hi!
519
00:22:41,990 --> 00:22:43,074
Hey, guys.
520
00:22:43,199 --> 00:22:44,284
Make it bigger.
521
00:22:44,409 --> 00:22:45,660
Hi, Daddy.
522
00:22:45,785 --> 00:22:48,913
[ Indistinct conversations ]
523
00:22:49,038 --> 00:22:53,668
Can you guys hear me?
Hello?
524
00:22:54,544 --> 00:22:56,045
This thing is no good.
525
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,590
That's their actual reaction to you.
526
00:22:59,757 --> 00:23:02,093
-Hello.
-Hi.
527
00:23:02,218 --> 00:23:04,554
Daddy, you can...
528
00:23:04,679 --> 00:23:06,472
They're usually more animated.
529
00:23:08,558 --> 00:23:11,144
Did you call your folks and tell 'em
you're here all right and everything?
530
00:23:11,269 --> 00:23:13,730
MOVSESIAN:
Oh, hi, Mom. How you doing?
531
00:23:13,855 --> 00:23:15,732
Yeah, yeah,
I'm in Eugene.
532
00:23:15,857 --> 00:23:18,985
I have my own room.
I'm at the Hilton.
533
00:23:19,110 --> 00:23:22,071
It was cool, Mom.
I was a baller.
534
00:23:22,196 --> 00:23:25,783
-What?
-Private planes.
535
00:23:25,909 --> 00:23:28,202
Tell your mother I don't understand
half of what you're saying.
536
00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:31,247
Oh, Conan doesn't understand
how I speak sometimes.
537
00:23:31,372 --> 00:23:32,540
[ Laughing ]:
Okay.
538
00:23:32,665 --> 00:23:34,125
All right, dude.
539
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,460
Dude? Who calls...
540
00:23:35,585 --> 00:23:37,670
All right, Mom. I love you.
I'll talk to you soon.
541
00:23:40,006 --> 00:23:41,507
O'BRIEN: Do you know
which way we're heading?
542
00:23:41,633 --> 00:23:42,425
No.
543
00:23:48,806 --> 00:23:54,729
Should I be worried
that we're opening in a town
544
00:23:54,854 --> 00:23:56,314
where nobody lives?
545
00:23:56,439 --> 00:23:58,191
I don't see anybody.
546
00:24:02,111 --> 00:24:03,863
There's nobody here.
547
00:24:03,988 --> 00:24:05,907
[ Laughs ]
548
00:24:07,825 --> 00:24:09,077
Okay.
549
00:24:09,202 --> 00:24:11,996
It's gonna be all right.
They'll show up.
550
00:24:12,163 --> 00:24:13,873
[ Indistinct conversations ]
551
00:24:15,249 --> 00:24:16,501
So, you need a ticket.
552
00:24:16,626 --> 00:24:18,461
Can you hold it up
a little bit for us?
553
00:24:20,171 --> 00:24:21,130
I thought it was...
554
00:24:21,255 --> 00:24:23,466
Stage is this way?
555
00:24:23,675 --> 00:24:26,678
[ Indistinct conversations ]
556
00:24:30,348 --> 00:24:34,143
MOVSESIAN: Over cheek area and forehead,
at hairline and temples.
557
00:24:34,268 --> 00:24:36,187
Do not use heavily under cheek.
558
00:24:36,312 --> 00:24:39,065
Will give too much depth
of cheek gaunt.
559
00:24:39,190 --> 00:24:40,316
What does that do?
560
00:24:40,441 --> 00:24:43,653
You're -- it just adds color,
gives you a natural glow.
561
00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:47,115
I wish I had a natural glow.
562
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,533
It's not your fault.
563
00:24:50,743 --> 00:24:53,496
RICHTER: How are the Andy Richter
urinal mints selling?
564
00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:54,789
His idea.
565
00:24:54,914 --> 00:24:56,290
-Through the roof.
-Yeah.
566
00:24:56,416 --> 00:24:58,167
People can't wait to pee on you.
567
00:24:58,292 --> 00:25:00,420
He said everybody loves
pissing on my face.
568
00:25:00,545 --> 00:25:03,506
At least get out in front
of a big, you know, crowd again.
569
00:25:03,631 --> 00:25:07,301
It's been...a while.
570
00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:11,139
And...I really miss it.
571
00:25:11,305 --> 00:25:13,099
-Just before the plane crashes...
-Yes.
572
00:25:13,224 --> 00:25:15,685
-The pilots from Aeroflot.
-One, two, three.
573
00:25:15,893 --> 00:25:19,063
[ Cheers and applause ]
574
00:25:21,190 --> 00:25:23,901
[ Audience chanting "Conan!" ]
575
00:25:25,862 --> 00:25:29,073
[ Upbeat music plays ]
576
00:25:33,077 --> 00:25:35,246
♪ Hush now, child ♪
577
00:25:36,372 --> 00:25:38,416
♪ Don't you cry ♪
578
00:25:39,167 --> 00:25:41,878
♪ Your folks
might understand you ♪
579
00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:44,297
♪ By and by ♪
580
00:25:45,423 --> 00:25:47,550
♪ Just move on up ♪
581
00:25:48,926 --> 00:25:51,512
♪ Towards your destination ♪
582
00:25:51,971 --> 00:25:57,310
♪ Though you may find
from time to time complications ♪
583
00:25:57,602 --> 00:26:00,772
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
584
00:26:00,897 --> 00:26:03,608
live in Eugene, Oregon,
585
00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:09,614
it's Conan O'Brien!
586
00:26:09,781 --> 00:26:12,867
[ Cheers and applause ]
587
00:26:16,913 --> 00:26:20,041
[ Audience chanting "Conan!" ]
588
00:26:25,046 --> 00:26:27,715
Thank you for that.
That feels good.
589
00:26:27,924 --> 00:26:30,635
I've been off the air for 3 1/2 months.
I missed applause.
590
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,096
This is -- I got to tell you,
it's very nice.
591
00:26:33,221 --> 00:26:34,555
There are eight stages
592
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,724
of mourning the loss
of your talk show.
593
00:26:36,849 --> 00:26:39,644
Stage two -- blame myself.
594
00:26:40,478 --> 00:26:42,355
Folks, I didn't spend
a lot of time on that stage,
595
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,274
'cause what the hell did I do?
596
00:26:45,399 --> 00:26:47,652
Yeah. So...
597
00:26:47,819 --> 00:26:50,530
No. I blew past this stage,
598
00:26:50,655 --> 00:26:52,240
and I went right to stage three --
599
00:26:52,365 --> 00:26:55,118
blame everyone else around me.
600
00:26:55,827 --> 00:26:57,370
I blamed everybody
and everything,
601
00:26:57,495 --> 00:27:00,331
and this led to stage four -- anger.
602
00:27:00,456 --> 00:27:03,167
I was really, really angry.
603
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,712
And I wasn't just angry
that I wasn't on television anymore.
604
00:27:06,838 --> 00:27:11,467
I was mad that I'm not on TV,
but other people still are.
605
00:27:11,592 --> 00:27:14,387
That's right. Other people
still get to be on television,
606
00:27:14,512 --> 00:27:15,847
but not Conan O'Brien.
607
00:27:15,972 --> 00:27:18,099
Now, I don't want to be petty
and name names,
608
00:27:18,224 --> 00:27:20,393
but what I will do
is show you photos of them
609
00:27:20,518 --> 00:27:21,978
as I name their names.
610
00:27:22,103 --> 00:27:23,187
[ Laughter ]
611
00:27:23,396 --> 00:27:25,648
And then, finally,
there's that last step --
612
00:27:25,773 --> 00:27:28,192
that last step
that makes all the difference,
613
00:27:28,317 --> 00:27:29,902
the step where you
win your esteem back.
614
00:27:30,027 --> 00:27:32,238
You wake up one day,
you put on your clothes,
615
00:27:32,363 --> 00:27:34,907
you pull yourself together,
you grow a pair, you look in the mirror,
616
00:27:35,032 --> 00:27:37,785
and you get your ass
to Eugene, Oregon!
617
00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:38,995
That's what you do!
618
00:27:39,203 --> 00:27:40,580
[ Cheers and applause ]
619
00:27:40,955 --> 00:27:42,540
This is a cool opportunity for me.
620
00:27:42,665 --> 00:27:45,668
This is my opportunity
to tell you who I am,
621
00:27:45,835 --> 00:27:47,587
how I grew up,
and how I came to be.
622
00:27:47,712 --> 00:27:49,463
Do you want to hear this story?
It's a pretty good story.
623
00:27:49,589 --> 00:27:51,090
You do?
Let's have some music, Jim.
624
00:27:51,215 --> 00:27:53,634
[ Upbeat music plays ]
625
00:27:55,887 --> 00:27:59,432
Now, I'm gonna need a little more help
with this, ladies and gentlemen.
626
00:27:59,557 --> 00:28:02,101
So, right now please welcome,
for the first time
627
00:28:02,226 --> 00:28:06,480
on this stage or any stage,
628
00:28:06,606 --> 00:28:08,524
the Coquettes!
629
00:28:09,150 --> 00:28:11,027
Oh, my God.
630
00:28:12,904 --> 00:28:15,072
Yeah.
631
00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:17,700
You know,
since this is a tour,
632
00:28:17,825 --> 00:28:19,785
we were thinking about calling
them the Tourettes,
633
00:28:19,911 --> 00:28:21,787
but they kept shouting, "Fuck."
634
00:28:21,913 --> 00:28:24,248
It was kind of weird.
635
00:28:24,373 --> 00:28:26,334
All right, I'm gonna tell you
a little something about me.
636
00:28:26,459 --> 00:28:28,628
I don't know if anyone's
ever been back East much.
637
00:28:28,753 --> 00:28:30,004
You've been back East much?
638
00:28:30,129 --> 00:28:31,255
[ Cheering ]
639
00:28:31,380 --> 00:28:35,259
I come from a place
called Brookline, Massachusetts.
640
00:28:35,384 --> 00:28:39,388
Yeah.
It's an affluent suburb of Boston.
641
00:28:39,931 --> 00:28:42,808
It was pretty tough
growing up in Brookline,
642
00:28:42,934 --> 00:28:47,104
'cause most people --
most people were upper-class.
643
00:28:47,230 --> 00:28:51,400
But we -- we were
upper middle-class.
644
00:28:52,235 --> 00:28:54,111
It was hell.
645
00:28:54,237 --> 00:28:57,740
My mama, my poor, old mama,
my sainted mama --
646
00:28:57,949 --> 00:29:00,493
I love my mama,
but she had it tough.
647
00:29:00,618 --> 00:29:02,828
You see, my mama is a lawyer
648
00:29:02,954 --> 00:29:05,414
at Ropes & Gray Law Firm
in downtown Boston.
649
00:29:05,539 --> 00:29:07,833
She specializes in tax and trusts,
650
00:29:07,959 --> 00:29:09,752
and she made partner really quickly.
651
00:29:09,877 --> 00:29:12,088
Pulls in a lot of money.
Did very well for herself.
652
00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:15,883
And my daddy --
my daddy was no good.
653
00:29:16,133 --> 00:29:17,635
My daddy is no good.
654
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,137
My daddy works
at Brigham Women's Hospital.
655
00:29:20,346 --> 00:29:23,224
He's a microbiologist.
He studies infectious diseases.
656
00:29:23,349 --> 00:29:25,726
He's done a lot of work
with the World Health Organization.
657
00:29:25,851 --> 00:29:27,853
Real white trash.
658
00:29:27,979 --> 00:29:29,355
[ Laughter ]
659
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,941
♪ Back in eastern Brookline ♪
660
00:29:32,066 --> 00:29:35,069
♪ Pretty alligators are so mean ♪
661
00:29:35,194 --> 00:29:38,072
♪ There lived a young girl
who, I swear to the world ♪
662
00:29:38,197 --> 00:29:40,283
♪ Made the alligators look tame ♪
663
00:29:40,408 --> 00:29:42,410
♪ Polk Salad Annie ♪
664
00:29:42,535 --> 00:29:43,536
♪ Annie ♪
665
00:29:43,661 --> 00:29:45,079
♪ Gators got your granny ♪
666
00:29:45,204 --> 00:29:46,831
♪ Gators got your granny ♪
667
00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:49,250
♪ Everybody said it was a shame ♪
668
00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:52,086
♪ That my mama was working
on a chain-gang ♪
669
00:29:52,211 --> 00:29:54,171
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
670
00:29:56,215 --> 00:29:57,675
♪ Yeah ♪
671
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,470
Well, by now a lot of you
have figured out
672
00:30:01,595 --> 00:30:04,390
that this song
is pretty much bullshit.
673
00:30:04,515 --> 00:30:06,225
♪ This song is bullshit ♪
674
00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:08,185
Yeah, it's just a song
675
00:30:08,311 --> 00:30:10,688
about growing up poor
in the South that I always liked.
676
00:30:10,855 --> 00:30:15,526
And I wanted to sing it,
so kind of fudged the facts a little bit.
677
00:30:16,819 --> 00:30:19,697
Two things and only two things
678
00:30:19,822 --> 00:30:22,116
will get you out of a song like this.
679
00:30:22,241 --> 00:30:23,576
That's right.
680
00:30:23,701 --> 00:30:27,872
I'm talking strobe lights
and crazy movement!
681
00:30:27,997 --> 00:30:30,041
[ Music continues ]
682
00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:32,960
♪ Gonna have me a mess of ♪
683
00:30:33,711 --> 00:30:35,921
♪ I want to have a polk salad ♪
684
00:30:36,047 --> 00:30:38,424
♪ My mama shopped at Whole Foods ♪
685
00:30:38,966 --> 00:30:41,135
♪ My daddy had a good job ♪
686
00:30:41,510 --> 00:30:43,429
♪ Everybody ♪
687
00:30:44,096 --> 00:30:46,390
♪ Everybody, yeah, yeah ♪
688
00:30:46,724 --> 00:30:48,768
♪ Gonna have polk salad ♪
689
00:30:49,477 --> 00:30:52,438
[ Music continues ]
690
00:30:57,777 --> 00:30:58,694
Ha! Yeah!
691
00:31:00,237 --> 00:31:02,698
The Coquettes,
ladies and gentlemen!
692
00:31:02,907 --> 00:31:04,492
[ Cheers and applause ]
693
00:31:04,617 --> 00:31:06,869
Thank you, Eugene!
694
00:31:10,539 --> 00:31:11,874
Thank you, thank you.
695
00:31:11,999 --> 00:31:13,209
That's that.
696
00:31:13,334 --> 00:31:14,585
[ Cheering ]
697
00:31:21,092 --> 00:31:22,843
What'd you think?
698
00:31:26,555 --> 00:31:29,266
We have to do 44 more of those,
699
00:31:29,392 --> 00:31:32,728
so I got to tone it down, maybe.
I don't know.
700
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,402
-MAN: How do you feel?
-I don't feel that euphoria.
701
00:31:39,527 --> 00:31:41,404
I don't know.
I just -- I like doing it,
702
00:31:41,529 --> 00:31:44,407
and then when it's done,
you're just, like...
703
00:31:45,616 --> 00:31:47,785
Everyone's just focused
on what could be better,
704
00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:49,328
what could be fixed,
which is good.
705
00:31:49,453 --> 00:31:50,663
That's how you get it
to be better.
706
00:31:50,788 --> 00:31:54,125
But it's like -- so, it's not like,
"Yeah! Let's all high-five each other."
707
00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:56,210
It's really good
to have one done, though.
708
00:31:56,335 --> 00:31:57,795
I have to say that.
709
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,090
I just don't know
how we're gonna do more of them.
710
00:32:02,591 --> 00:32:05,052
It looks all right.
Great job, Bill.
711
00:32:05,177 --> 00:32:06,679
Good to see you.
How are you?
712
00:32:06,804 --> 00:32:08,681
Hey.
Hey. How are you?
713
00:32:08,806 --> 00:32:10,724
Hey. How are you?
Good to see you.
714
00:32:10,891 --> 00:32:12,726
Here's the thing that really got me.
715
00:32:12,852 --> 00:32:14,186
At the end, you're going up the alley.
716
00:32:14,311 --> 00:32:15,563
-Went right behind me, right?
-Right.
717
00:32:15,688 --> 00:32:16,772
You came back down,
you kissed a girl.
718
00:32:16,897 --> 00:32:18,315
You came down,
you kissed a guy.
719
00:32:18,441 --> 00:32:19,650
-Right. Of course.
-The row behind me.
720
00:32:19,775 --> 00:32:21,819
The guy says,
"Now I can die happy."
721
00:32:21,944 --> 00:32:23,279
[ Laughter ]
722
00:32:23,404 --> 00:32:25,072
You really looked happy, man.
723
00:32:25,197 --> 00:32:27,283
Oh, I was thrilled -- yeah, just thrilled.
724
00:32:27,408 --> 00:32:28,742
You got to pack it up and go.
725
00:32:28,868 --> 00:32:30,911
You're going to Vancouver tomorrow?
726
00:32:31,036 --> 00:32:32,830
You got another show tomorrow?
727
00:32:32,955 --> 00:32:34,999
Yay!
728
00:32:35,207 --> 00:32:36,417
How you doing?
729
00:32:36,542 --> 00:32:39,128
[ Cheers and applause ]
730
00:32:39,336 --> 00:32:40,504
Good night, everybody!
731
00:32:40,629 --> 00:32:41,672
[ Cheers and applause ]
732
00:32:41,797 --> 00:32:44,133
[ Indistinct shouting ]
733
00:32:47,094 --> 00:32:51,932
MAN: Are you going to check in
and see what the press is saying,
734
00:32:52,057 --> 00:32:53,559
or are you going to avoid it?
735
00:32:53,684 --> 00:32:55,144
-What's your plan?
-I don't read that stuff.
736
00:32:55,269 --> 00:32:56,353
He's never read it.
737
00:32:56,479 --> 00:32:58,439
No. I'm fine, thanks.
I've never read it.
738
00:32:58,564 --> 00:32:59,982
He's never read it.
739
00:33:00,149 --> 00:33:02,610
It's pointless to do that.
740
00:33:03,486 --> 00:33:06,071
Because it's --
at the end of the day, it's all opinions.
741
00:33:06,197 --> 00:33:08,491
-The online buzz...
-Yeah.
742
00:33:08,616 --> 00:33:10,159
That's all I like to hear.
743
00:33:10,284 --> 00:33:12,912
And I'm like, "Good. Let's move on."
744
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:15,956
We got to keep moving
and evolving this show.
745
00:33:16,123 --> 00:33:17,791
I like this part, you know?
746
00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:21,545
I like the travel aspect of it.
I like the adventure of it.
747
00:33:21,962 --> 00:33:24,048
I love walking around a city
for the first time.
748
00:33:24,173 --> 00:33:25,257
[ Grunts ]
749
00:33:25,382 --> 00:33:26,842
You know, when aliens come --
750
00:33:26,967 --> 00:33:28,719
When aliens come,
they're gonna land there,
751
00:33:28,844 --> 00:33:31,555
'cause they're gonna think
that's where our leader lives.
752
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,682
Come on now.
753
00:33:33,807 --> 00:33:35,226
What am I always
hitting people for?
754
00:33:35,351 --> 00:33:37,645
It's not acceptable.
It's not acceptable.
755
00:33:39,021 --> 00:33:41,607
I like that. One in two shows
by popular demand.
756
00:33:41,732 --> 00:33:43,651
How do we get back to that
where we came from?
757
00:33:43,901 --> 00:33:46,445
I know a lot of people came to Vegas
this weekend to see the fight,
758
00:33:46,654 --> 00:33:48,113
but I think this is
the main event tonight.
759
00:33:48,239 --> 00:33:50,783
Audience -- Bleh! Bloviate.
760
00:33:51,325 --> 00:33:53,661
I could do the scene for you.
I can do that.
761
00:33:53,786 --> 00:33:55,871
What's that?
Did you talk over me again?
762
00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:57,831
Get your radar straight.
763
00:33:57,957 --> 00:33:59,667
Seriously, man.
764
00:33:59,792 --> 00:34:01,544
When Mozart's playing the old 88s,
765
00:34:01,669 --> 00:34:04,922
you don't sit on his lap
and play "Chopsticks."
766
00:34:05,047 --> 00:34:07,633
-Ooh, wow.
-I might be a fucking genius,
767
00:34:07,758 --> 00:34:09,385
and I might be
the biggest dick ever.
768
00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:11,011
I don't know.
Or maybe both.
769
00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:12,471
That's what Patton was.
770
00:34:12,596 --> 00:34:14,473
-Napoleon.
-Maybe.
771
00:34:14,598 --> 00:34:15,975
-Clemenceau.
-Pulitzer.
772
00:34:16,100 --> 00:34:18,060
About 15-ish.
773
00:34:18,227 --> 00:34:20,479
[ Upbeat music plays ]
774
00:34:22,106 --> 00:34:23,983
Hello, Las Vegas.
How's everybody doing?
775
00:34:24,108 --> 00:34:26,193
You ready?
What else is forbidden?
776
00:34:26,318 --> 00:34:27,444
I'll tell you what's forbidden.
777
00:34:27,570 --> 00:34:30,239
This is how crazy this thing got
between me and NBC.
778
00:34:30,364 --> 00:34:34,201
It got so crazy,
anyone who even looks like me
779
00:34:34,326 --> 00:34:36,453
can't be on television right now.
780
00:34:36,579 --> 00:34:37,788
Yes. It's true.
781
00:34:37,913 --> 00:34:39,373
Yeah. Say good-bye
to the Wendy's girl.
782
00:34:39,498 --> 00:34:41,875
-She can't exist right now.
-[ Laughter ]
783
00:34:42,084 --> 00:34:43,502
Say good-bye
to Jimmy Neutron.
784
00:34:43,627 --> 00:34:45,087
Jimmy Neutron's gone.
785
00:34:45,212 --> 00:34:47,089
And, of course, say farewell
to Oscar-winning actress
786
00:34:47,214 --> 00:34:48,340
Tilda Swinton.
787
00:34:48,465 --> 00:34:50,134
She's just out of here.
788
00:34:50,301 --> 00:34:52,303
[ Cheers and applause ]
789
00:34:53,470 --> 00:34:55,472
[ Laughter ]
790
00:34:55,806 --> 00:34:57,683
RICHTER: Are you looking
for a good time?
791
00:34:57,808 --> 00:35:00,269
I mean a really good time?
792
00:35:00,561 --> 00:35:02,521
The kind of good time
where you wake up
793
00:35:02,646 --> 00:35:04,023
with body glitter in your mouth
794
00:35:04,148 --> 00:35:07,067
and the smell of grandma
on your clothes?
795
00:35:07,484 --> 00:35:09,903
Then look no further than [bleep]
796
00:35:10,029 --> 00:35:13,115
Las Vegas' oldest topless bar.
797
00:35:13,824 --> 00:35:17,870
Located north of the Strip,
[bleep] opened in '72,
798
00:35:18,078 --> 00:35:21,749
which is also the average age
of their dancers.
799
00:35:21,874 --> 00:35:24,168
These fossilized beauties
give new meaning
800
00:35:24,293 --> 00:35:26,962
to the term "flappers."
801
00:35:27,755 --> 00:35:28,672
♪ 40 days ♪
802
00:35:28,797 --> 00:35:29,840
♪ 40 days! ♪
803
00:35:29,965 --> 00:35:30,799
♪ 40 days ♪
804
00:35:30,924 --> 00:35:32,176
♪ 40 days! ♪
805
00:35:32,301 --> 00:35:35,262
♪ I'm gonna see that you
get back home in 40 days ♪
806
00:35:35,387 --> 00:35:36,597
♪ 40 days! ♪
807
00:35:36,722 --> 00:35:38,849
♪ I'm gonna put up
a charge against you ♪
808
00:35:38,974 --> 00:35:41,268
♪ That'll be the very thing
that'll send you, Vegas ♪
809
00:35:41,393 --> 00:35:44,313
♪ See you get your ass
back home in 40 days ♪
810
00:35:44,521 --> 00:35:46,273
♪ 40 days ♪
811
00:35:46,482 --> 00:35:49,693
[ Guitar solo ]
812
00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:04,917
ALL:
♪ 40 days! ♪
813
00:36:05,042 --> 00:36:05,959
♪ 40 days! ♪
814
00:36:06,085 --> 00:36:07,836
ALL:
♪ 40 days! ♪
815
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:20,349
♪ 40 days ♪
816
00:36:20,474 --> 00:36:21,558
♪ 40 days! ♪
817
00:36:21,684 --> 00:36:22,643
♪ 40 days ♪
818
00:36:22,768 --> 00:36:23,602
♪ 40 days! ♪
819
00:36:23,727 --> 00:36:26,480
♪ I'm gonna see that you
get back home in 40 days ♪
820
00:36:26,605 --> 00:36:27,898
♪ 40 days! ♪
821
00:36:28,023 --> 00:36:30,234
♪ Gonna bring
a charge against you ♪
822
00:36:30,401 --> 00:36:32,778
♪ That'll be the very thing
that'll send you ♪
823
00:36:32,903 --> 00:36:35,114
♪ I'm gonna see you back home
in 40 days ♪
824
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:36,198
♪ 40 days ♪
825
00:36:36,490 --> 00:36:39,368
♪ Gonna see you back home
in 40 days ♪
826
00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:48,460
[ Cheers and applause ]
827
00:36:51,547 --> 00:36:54,258
[ Music stops ]
828
00:36:54,675 --> 00:36:57,386
[ Breathing heavily ]
829
00:37:02,349 --> 00:37:03,892
[ Grunts ]
830
00:37:05,269 --> 00:37:07,104
-Vegas.
-Vegas.
831
00:37:07,229 --> 00:37:09,481
O'BRIEN: Are people
happy with that show?
832
00:37:09,606 --> 00:37:11,483
MAN:
Nobody was unhappy.
833
00:37:11,608 --> 00:37:14,027
[ Laughter ]
834
00:37:16,363 --> 00:37:17,781
MAN: You know something?
835
00:37:17,990 --> 00:37:20,451
That night when you were talking
about how angry you sometimes feel
836
00:37:20,576 --> 00:37:22,286
and how you're kind of
working that out in the show
837
00:37:22,411 --> 00:37:23,662
and a lot of, you know...
838
00:37:23,871 --> 00:37:24,705
Right.
839
00:37:24,830 --> 00:37:27,332
Well, now that you've been doing it,
has that changed at all?
840
00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:30,252
It feels really good to go out
and perform in front of people...
841
00:37:30,419 --> 00:37:31,879
[ Cheers and applause ]
842
00:37:33,630 --> 00:37:39,428
...and be in contact with people
that are enthusiastic about me and what I do,
843
00:37:39,636 --> 00:37:43,140
and so that's obviously healthy or feels good.
844
00:37:43,307 --> 00:37:46,143
And then there are other times
where I'll just...
845
00:37:46,310 --> 00:37:50,105
be back at the hotel, and I'll be thinking
about what went down
846
00:37:50,230 --> 00:37:53,734
with those, you know, people at NBC,
847
00:37:53,859 --> 00:37:58,363
and I'll be really mad about it all over again.
848
00:37:58,572 --> 00:38:00,199
So, yeah, I think it's -- that'll --
849
00:38:00,324 --> 00:38:02,367
It's gonna take a little while.
850
00:38:02,493 --> 00:38:03,827
It's like a gallstone.
851
00:38:03,952 --> 00:38:07,414
It just has to work its way
through my urethra.
852
00:38:07,664 --> 00:38:12,169
And eventually that stone
and a little bit of blood
853
00:38:12,294 --> 00:38:16,507
will drop into the toilet, and...
854
00:38:16,632 --> 00:38:18,342
I'll be done with those fuckers.
855
00:38:18,509 --> 00:38:21,345
Have you seen
the new In Touch magazine?
856
00:38:22,095 --> 00:38:25,098
It's time to really kick things
up a notch now.
857
00:38:25,307 --> 00:38:29,144
Please welcome our friend
Mr. Eddie Vedder.
858
00:38:29,269 --> 00:38:33,106
[ Cheers and applause ]
859
00:38:36,109 --> 00:38:39,780
[ Intro to "Baba O'Riley" plays ]
860
00:38:40,572 --> 00:38:44,701
♪ Out here in the fields ♪
861
00:38:44,827 --> 00:38:47,830
♪ I fight for my meals ♪
862
00:38:49,289 --> 00:38:55,295
♪ I get my back into my living ♪
863
00:38:57,673 --> 00:39:00,676
♪ Well, I don't need to fight ♪
864
00:39:01,844 --> 00:39:05,347
♪ To prove I'm right ♪
865
00:39:06,265 --> 00:39:10,435
♪ I don't need to be forgiven ♪
866
00:39:10,561 --> 00:39:13,814
♪ No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
867
00:39:13,939 --> 00:39:16,441
[ Musical interlude ]
868
00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:37,170
[ Cheers and applause ]
869
00:39:37,296 --> 00:39:39,631
O'BRIEN:
Oh, my God!
870
00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:46,638
What the hell was that?!
871
00:39:47,764 --> 00:39:51,643
RICHTER: I will never let Eddie Vedder
borrow my tambourines again.
872
00:39:51,768 --> 00:39:54,271
[ Laughs ]
873
00:39:55,105 --> 00:39:56,481
Jesus.
874
00:39:56,607 --> 00:39:57,566
This is a big show.
875
00:39:57,691 --> 00:39:59,484
It's a big show, yeah.
876
00:39:59,610 --> 00:40:03,822
It started out as a small idea,
and it kept getting bigger and bigger.
877
00:40:03,947 --> 00:40:05,657
Where'd you get
these musical chops?
878
00:40:05,782 --> 00:40:07,576
What's the difference
between doing it here
879
00:40:07,701 --> 00:40:09,828
and doing it in front
of a live audience in New York?
880
00:40:09,953 --> 00:40:11,413
Are you making
any money on this?
881
00:40:11,538 --> 00:40:13,165
Yeah, I hope so.
882
00:40:13,373 --> 00:40:14,917
How's your voice holding up?
883
00:40:15,042 --> 00:40:17,085
It's so far, so good.
It's not the show.
884
00:40:17,210 --> 00:40:19,421
It's the interviews right after
the show that are killing me.
885
00:40:19,546 --> 00:40:22,257
Let's get to that fake birthday party.
886
00:40:23,091 --> 00:40:25,302
Oh, what an awkward situation.
887
00:40:25,469 --> 00:40:27,930
This is the exact opposite
of what I wanted.
888
00:40:28,138 --> 00:40:29,264
This is great!
889
00:40:29,389 --> 00:40:30,891
[ Laughter ]
890
00:40:31,099 --> 00:40:33,060
This is amazing!
891
00:40:33,185 --> 00:40:37,773
I've always wanted to have a 47th birthday
with "60 Minutes" here,
892
00:40:37,981 --> 00:40:41,818
and this is such an intimate way
to celebrate my birth.
893
00:40:41,944 --> 00:40:43,654
How are you?
894
00:40:43,820 --> 00:40:45,113
Good to see you, pal.
895
00:40:45,322 --> 00:40:48,492
This'll be good TV, see.
We'll get B-roll of the old birthday.
896
00:40:48,617 --> 00:40:50,661
[ Cheers and applause ]
897
00:40:52,412 --> 00:40:54,289
[ Laughter ]
898
00:40:55,999 --> 00:40:57,668
Yes, it's really good!
899
00:40:57,834 --> 00:41:00,379
[ Applause ]
900
00:41:02,673 --> 00:41:06,218
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
901
00:41:06,343 --> 00:41:11,640
♪ Happy birthday, dear Conan ♪
902
00:41:11,765 --> 00:41:16,520
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
903
00:41:16,645 --> 00:41:18,814
[ Singing in foreign language ]
904
00:41:18,939 --> 00:41:21,024
♪ Happy birthday ♪
905
00:41:21,149 --> 00:41:22,484
Now shut up.
906
00:41:22,693 --> 00:41:24,236
Like, I ran into someone
on the street, and he said,
907
00:41:24,361 --> 00:41:26,113
"Yeah, a friend of mine said
he asked you for an autograph,
908
00:41:26,238 --> 00:41:27,364
and you, like, blew him off,"
909
00:41:27,489 --> 00:41:30,909
and I said, "That's not possible."
910
00:41:31,034 --> 00:41:33,412
I said it with authority,
like the way you would say,
911
00:41:33,537 --> 00:41:36,248
"A friend of mine said you shot at him
with your.22 handgun."
912
00:41:36,373 --> 00:41:38,125
"That's not possible."
913
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,211
It's Conan O'Brien's birthday.
914
00:41:41,461 --> 00:41:43,797
[ Indistinct conversation ]
915
00:41:43,922 --> 00:41:45,966
I can't leave the venue right now.
916
00:41:46,091 --> 00:41:49,094
Can you explain -- will you go outside
and get that from him and I'll sign it?
917
00:41:49,261 --> 00:41:52,639
I have no authority here.
Thank you, one guy.
918
00:41:53,390 --> 00:41:54,725
You're done in this business.
919
00:41:54,850 --> 00:41:57,436
He asked if you could use
the red pen on that one.
920
00:41:57,561 --> 00:41:59,104
Oh. A controlling dick.
921
00:41:59,646 --> 00:42:02,858
I've never denied anybody anything.
922
00:42:03,066 --> 00:42:04,401
Okay, and you want me
to sign your back?
923
00:42:04,526 --> 00:42:06,319
-Yes.
-Okay. Why?
924
00:42:06,445 --> 00:42:10,574
So I can get it tattooed. It's my first one,
so it's gonna be really special.
925
00:42:10,699 --> 00:42:11,992
[ Airplane flies overhead ]
926
00:42:12,451 --> 00:42:14,911
Dah! Paparazzi!
927
00:42:16,038 --> 00:42:18,999
That's why, you know, it's important --
like, you're really nice.
928
00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:23,628
Sona's really nice to people on the phone
and sort of warm and personal,
929
00:42:23,754 --> 00:42:25,839
and I think a lot of people
can't get to me.
930
00:42:25,964 --> 00:42:30,302
That's important if the person
who's my voice to the outside world
931
00:42:30,427 --> 00:42:34,431
is telling people to --
like, being cold.
932
00:42:34,556 --> 00:42:36,099
I just think that's huge.
933
00:42:36,224 --> 00:42:37,934
-It's a compliment?
-I complimented you.
934
00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:39,269
Thank you.
935
00:42:42,898 --> 00:42:44,441
O'BRIEN: How long
did you drive to be here?
936
00:42:44,566 --> 00:42:48,278
Well, I drove seven hours to Calgary
and then like three here.
937
00:42:48,403 --> 00:42:49,446
Just to come see the show?
938
00:42:49,571 --> 00:42:52,574
-Yeah.
-Oh, get in here, man. Jesus. Uh.
939
00:42:52,783 --> 00:42:55,118
Now, what's your --
you had a situation here?
940
00:42:55,243 --> 00:42:59,456
I had this I.D. card that I bought specifically
so I could see this, 'cause I am I 8.
941
00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:01,124
So, what's the problem?
942
00:43:01,333 --> 00:43:04,503
I wrote my learner's and passed it two days ago,
and they took my I.D. card away.
943
00:43:04,628 --> 00:43:07,714
I'm just wondering if they're gonna jew me
and not let me in here.
944
00:43:07,839 --> 00:43:08,799
If they're gonna what?
945
00:43:08,924 --> 00:43:09,800
[ Laughter ]
946
00:43:09,925 --> 00:43:13,386
They're gonna gyp me
and not let me in here.
947
00:43:13,970 --> 00:43:16,598
And that would just not be cool
after getting a ticket.
948
00:43:16,723 --> 00:43:18,225
I've been really excited to see this.
949
00:43:18,350 --> 00:43:20,227
-Right. Okay. Okay.
-Yeah.
950
00:43:20,352 --> 00:43:23,188
Okay, I'll just have to look
past the anti-Semitic remark.
951
00:43:23,313 --> 00:43:24,773
[ Laughter ]
952
00:43:24,898 --> 00:43:27,150
I love Mel Gibson, dude.
953
00:43:27,275 --> 00:43:30,487
Uh, wow. Okay, now I
don't think I want to let you in.
954
00:43:30,612 --> 00:43:31,696
No, no, no, no.
955
00:43:31,822 --> 00:43:33,657
Have to promise to never use
that expression again.
956
00:43:33,782 --> 00:43:34,616
Okay, I promise.
957
00:43:34,783 --> 00:43:37,369
Jeff Ross!
Can you come here for a sec?
958
00:43:37,619 --> 00:43:40,163
Now, I'm gonna tell you something.
My producer's Jewish.
959
00:43:40,288 --> 00:43:44,209
So, when you start saying -- when you
start saying, "I got jewed out of something,"
960
00:43:44,334 --> 00:43:47,212
and you're asking my producer,
who's Jewish, and I'm half-Jewish...
961
00:43:47,420 --> 00:43:51,049
so, this kid has a situation
where he's driven like 60 hours to get here.
962
00:43:51,174 --> 00:43:54,511
-And?
-And he doesn't have his government I.D.
963
00:43:54,636 --> 00:43:56,263
that will get him into the casino.
964
00:43:56,471 --> 00:43:58,098
Now these guys are saying
he can't come in.
965
00:43:58,306 --> 00:44:00,267
I don't know if there's anyone here
at the casino we can ask.
966
00:44:00,392 --> 00:44:01,143
Maybe.
967
00:44:01,351 --> 00:44:03,145
♪ Conan's vocal ♪
968
00:44:03,395 --> 00:44:05,689
♪ Don't have enough Conan's vocal ♪
969
00:44:07,524 --> 00:44:11,653
MAN: Hold on. Dave?
Testing, testing.
970
00:44:13,905 --> 00:44:15,740
Welcome to it.
971
00:44:15,866 --> 00:44:20,745
I do feel like we've been arrested at the border
and asked to wait in this room. Don't you?
972
00:44:20,996 --> 00:44:22,539
What happened to us, Andy?
973
00:44:22,664 --> 00:44:24,541
[ Laughs ]
974
00:44:24,791 --> 00:44:26,793
We'll get a giant poster of Jay Leno.
975
00:44:26,918 --> 00:44:28,086
-No.
-Eee!
976
00:44:28,211 --> 00:44:30,505
Well, 'cause everyone
who's performed here has a poster.
977
00:44:30,630 --> 00:44:32,174
Oh. Eee!
978
00:44:32,299 --> 00:44:33,800
It actually says that
when you walk by.
979
00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:35,760
[ Squeals ]
980
00:44:35,927 --> 00:44:38,221
Apply it with the brush
and then tap it in with your finger.
981
00:44:38,346 --> 00:44:40,891
-I will. I will. I will. Please.
-Oh. Okay.
982
00:44:41,016 --> 00:44:43,435
-Covering up the eye vein...
-Oh, boy.
983
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,812
That most people love,
buy you guys insist I cover.
984
00:44:46,021 --> 00:44:48,607
You are aging wonderfully, Millicent.
985
00:44:48,732 --> 00:44:49,774
[ Laughs ]
986
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:52,277
I'm ready to meet my groom.
987
00:44:52,402 --> 00:44:54,112
Send him in.
988
00:44:54,321 --> 00:44:56,031
You use whichever
makes you feel prettiest.
989
00:44:56,156 --> 00:44:59,034
If it's blowing off
like that, it's too much.
990
00:44:59,159 --> 00:45:01,828
I think I know -- would you get
your arm out of the mirror?
991
00:45:01,953 --> 00:45:03,830
-You insane Armenian.
-Oh, my God!
992
00:45:03,955 --> 00:45:06,917
Did you see her lunge at me
with a cutlass?
993
00:45:07,042 --> 00:45:09,252
How much more deodorant
do you need?
994
00:45:09,377 --> 00:45:10,462
I want more.
995
00:45:10,587 --> 00:45:11,963
Is it like one for each armpit?
996
00:45:12,088 --> 00:45:13,882
You know what I do?
I pretend they're awards.
997
00:45:14,007 --> 00:45:15,592
Out when I get naked.
998
00:45:15,717 --> 00:45:17,093
-Oh, no.
-Sorry.
999
00:45:17,260 --> 00:45:20,263
Hey, I'm sorry I said that shit about you
in the Edmonton Gazette.
1000
00:45:20,388 --> 00:45:22,515
Don't be sorry.
It needed to be said.
1001
00:45:22,682 --> 00:45:24,184
But you're not
a fucking asshole
1002
00:45:24,309 --> 00:45:26,478
who's the worst piece of shit
that anyone's ever seen.
1003
00:45:26,603 --> 00:45:29,481
[ Upbeat music plays ]
1004
00:45:29,606 --> 00:45:33,276
[ Cheers and applause ]
1005
00:45:35,695 --> 00:45:37,656
When do I do my meet and greet?
1006
00:45:37,864 --> 00:45:39,199
What? Don't be nervous.
1007
00:45:39,324 --> 00:45:40,492
I've, like, loved you for so long.
1008
00:45:40,617 --> 00:45:43,453
-Oh, really? You have?
-Yes.
1009
00:45:43,662 --> 00:45:44,829
-All right, well --
-WOMAN: I love you.
1010
00:45:44,955 --> 00:45:46,248
Well, thank you so much.
1011
00:45:46,373 --> 00:45:49,125
No. Truly, I love you.
1012
00:45:49,251 --> 00:45:51,753
She won't send you --
I'll make sure --
1013
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,214
-It was awesome. And it was fun.
-Oh, good.
1014
00:45:54,422 --> 00:45:55,674
I'm telling people
this is my prom photo.
1015
00:45:55,799 --> 00:45:58,093
-Hello.
-[ Laughter ]
1016
00:45:58,218 --> 00:46:00,428
This won't go well.
1017
00:46:01,388 --> 00:46:04,349
[ Laughter ]
1018
00:46:04,474 --> 00:46:05,642
Oh, yay! Yay!
1019
00:46:05,767 --> 00:46:06,893
[ Giggles ]
1020
00:46:07,143 --> 00:46:09,271
This is weird.
I just heard about this.
1021
00:46:09,396 --> 00:46:10,605
There's a WM E --
1022
00:46:10,730 --> 00:46:14,150
William Morris Endeavor's
throwing a party before the show.
1023
00:46:14,276 --> 00:46:17,821
I'll do a show for them before the show,
blow out my voice.
1024
00:46:18,655 --> 00:46:19,864
[ Laughs ]
1025
00:46:20,490 --> 00:46:22,993
My inherent neediness will dominate.
1026
00:46:23,201 --> 00:46:25,453
I'm just gonna make it
my mandate not to talk.
1027
00:46:25,662 --> 00:46:26,663
How are you? Good to see you.
1028
00:46:26,871 --> 00:46:27,872
Hi. How are you?
1029
00:46:28,081 --> 00:46:29,165
I really --
I just really love it.
1030
00:46:29,374 --> 00:46:31,042
There's like a --
it sounds crass,
1031
00:46:31,167 --> 00:46:34,337
but kind of like a Make-A-Wish Foundation
element to the whole thing.
1032
00:46:34,462 --> 00:46:36,423
Like, Conan's got 3 months to live.
1033
00:46:36,548 --> 00:46:39,092
Let's not tell him, but let's let him have
this complete fantasy.
1034
00:46:39,217 --> 00:46:40,552
How are you?
Very nice to meet you.
1035
00:46:40,677 --> 00:46:42,220
How are you?
Good to see you.
1036
00:46:42,345 --> 00:46:43,305
How are you?
Yes, I do.
1037
00:46:43,430 --> 00:46:44,681
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you.
1038
00:46:44,806 --> 00:46:46,641
The chairman
of Warner Bros. Television.
1039
00:46:46,766 --> 00:46:47,934
Ah, yes, very nice to meet you.
1040
00:46:48,059 --> 00:46:48,768
I'm not used to --
1041
00:46:48,893 --> 00:46:50,854
They told me, like, yeah,
they have a party before the show,
1042
00:46:50,979 --> 00:46:52,314
and I said, "Before the show?"
1043
00:46:52,439 --> 00:46:55,734
This is Nellie Andreeva, who writes --
she writes nice things about you.
1044
00:46:55,859 --> 00:46:57,360
-Oh, thank you so much.
-You got to go.
1045
00:46:57,485 --> 00:46:59,195
-What's that?
-They want you backstage.
1046
00:46:59,321 --> 00:47:00,572
I know this guy. How are you?
1047
00:47:00,697 --> 00:47:02,407
How are you?
Everything okay?
1048
00:47:02,532 --> 00:47:05,618
Let's have a new rule
about parties before the show.
1049
00:47:05,744 --> 00:47:08,121
It's just -- I'm out there, like, working it.
1050
00:47:08,330 --> 00:47:09,831
I'm like, "This is fucked up."
1051
00:47:09,956 --> 00:47:11,833
Well, it doesn't -- okay.
1052
00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:13,585
Well...
1053
00:47:13,710 --> 00:47:14,836
-Hey.
-Yes?
1054
00:47:14,961 --> 00:47:18,214
-Oh, no.
-I smell -- I smell wet hay.
1055
00:47:18,340 --> 00:47:19,257
There he is.
1056
00:47:19,382 --> 00:47:20,717
Yay, yay.
Did you get my e-mail?
1057
00:47:20,842 --> 00:47:22,010
Yee-haw.
1058
00:47:22,135 --> 00:47:23,428
You don't read your e-mails?
1059
00:47:23,553 --> 00:47:24,721
How are you?
Great to see you.
1060
00:47:24,846 --> 00:47:27,640
-So, have you --
-I e-mailed him, but he doesn't read e-mails.
1061
00:47:27,766 --> 00:47:29,351
-I didn't get the e-mail.
-Oh, for God's sake.
1062
00:47:29,476 --> 00:47:32,020
Gee, gawrsh, what's an e-mail?
1063
00:47:32,145 --> 00:47:34,356
[ Laughter ]
1064
00:47:34,481 --> 00:47:35,732
Doing, doing, doing.
1065
00:47:35,857 --> 00:47:37,359
Get him.
Get him, Jon Hamm.
1066
00:47:37,484 --> 00:47:40,612
-Doing, doing, doing.
-We're best friends.
1067
00:47:40,820 --> 00:47:41,946
No, look at this.
Check this out.
1068
00:47:42,072 --> 00:47:43,448
Oh, yeah.
1069
00:47:43,573 --> 00:47:45,867
That is so stupid.
1070
00:47:47,577 --> 00:47:49,329
That's called the toilet, Jack.
1071
00:47:49,454 --> 00:47:50,246
[ Laughter ]
1072
00:47:50,372 --> 00:47:51,456
What a rube.
1073
00:47:52,415 --> 00:47:56,044
We'll just do a little --
little tune here.
1074
00:47:56,252 --> 00:47:59,047
It's a song I wrote
about Jack McBrayer.
1075
00:47:59,172 --> 00:48:01,341
♪ You stupid hick ♪
1076
00:48:01,466 --> 00:48:03,051
[ Laughter ]
1077
00:48:03,176 --> 00:48:06,221
♪ You were born in shit ♪
1078
00:48:07,263 --> 00:48:09,140
-Oh, that's not nice.
-What?
1079
00:48:09,265 --> 00:48:12,477
But, anyway, there's a whole part
about a mule calling you on the phone.
1080
00:48:12,602 --> 00:48:14,437
Why am I working this hard
before a show?
1081
00:48:14,562 --> 00:48:15,688
I don't know.
1082
00:48:15,814 --> 00:48:17,774
[ Imitating Jack ]:
I'm not sure I know.
1083
00:48:17,899 --> 00:48:18,983
[ Laughter ]
1084
00:48:19,109 --> 00:48:20,610
Hey, Jon, guess who I'm doing.
1085
00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:24,656
[ Southern accent ]: Hey, Jon,
you want to go out and try and get --
1086
00:48:24,781 --> 00:48:26,366
HAMM:
Jim Nabors. Jim Nabors.
1087
00:48:26,491 --> 00:48:28,159
[Normal voice]:
No. Keep thinking.
1088
00:48:28,284 --> 00:48:30,954
[Southern accent]:
Hey, I love Los Feliz, too.
1089
00:48:31,287 --> 00:48:34,040
These will save my throat.
Do you have any cocaine?
1090
00:48:34,165 --> 00:48:35,917
-What is wrong with you?
-Come on.
1091
00:48:36,042 --> 00:48:38,795
-He's changed.
-I need it.
1092
00:48:41,381 --> 00:48:43,675
I had a different Jack McBrayer
on the phone.
1093
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,010
[ "Dueling Banjos" plays ]
1094
00:48:46,219 --> 00:48:48,221
Okay, he can't help...
1095
00:48:48,346 --> 00:48:50,515
[ Laughter ]
1096
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,475
Stop it!
1097
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,811
[ Rhythmic clapping ]
1098
00:48:57,272 --> 00:48:58,898
Ha ha ha,
I can't help it.
1099
00:48:59,023 --> 00:49:00,567
How come you get
to hang out with him?
1100
00:49:00,692 --> 00:49:02,277
There's such an inequality.
1101
00:49:02,485 --> 00:49:05,488
-I don't want to sound rude.
-Too late.
1102
00:49:05,655 --> 00:49:07,824
But it is. It's like watching
the Monopoly money guy
1103
00:49:07,949 --> 00:49:09,325
walking around with a pig on a leash.
1104
00:49:09,451 --> 00:49:11,786
It's ridiculous.
Yee-haw!
1105
00:49:11,953 --> 00:49:13,329
Come on.
1106
00:49:14,497 --> 00:49:17,709
Will you say that this is crazy
for me to be doing this before a show?
1107
00:49:18,543 --> 00:49:20,837
Well, who's in control of things
around here?
1108
00:49:20,962 --> 00:49:23,923
No, you can't put this on Sona.
She's like 18.
1109
00:49:24,090 --> 00:49:25,967
So far, it's been the most fun
I've had in show business.
1110
00:49:27,510 --> 00:49:29,721
Crazy. Who has a party for --
Who does that?
1111
00:49:29,846 --> 00:49:31,473
Who entertains people
before a show?
1112
00:49:31,598 --> 00:49:32,891
I want to find someone.
1113
00:49:33,016 --> 00:49:34,642
Jeff's acting like, "I didn't do this."
1114
00:49:34,767 --> 00:49:36,895
I'm like, "Aren't you fucking in charge?"
1115
00:49:37,020 --> 00:49:39,063
-I think you're in charge.
-I'm tired now.
1116
00:49:39,189 --> 00:49:41,691
Voice. Voice.
1117
00:49:43,109 --> 00:49:45,820
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
1118
00:49:47,864 --> 00:49:49,115
Walk of death. Let's do it.
1119
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:49,991
Walk?
1120
00:49:50,116 --> 00:49:53,161
[ Scatting ]
1121
00:49:53,286 --> 00:49:54,454
Guys, follow me.
1122
00:49:54,787 --> 00:49:56,080
But I'm telling you guys something.
1123
00:49:56,206 --> 00:50:00,210
Doing this tour is a huge milestone for me --
huge milestone for me.
1124
00:50:00,335 --> 00:50:03,004
And I will tell you why.
I will tell you why.
1125
00:50:03,296 --> 00:50:06,633
This is the first time
in my 20-year television career
1126
00:50:06,758 --> 00:50:09,260
that anyone has paid to see me.
1127
00:50:09,385 --> 00:50:11,554
Isn't that amazing?
1128
00:50:11,679 --> 00:50:14,307
First time anyone's paid to see me.
1129
00:50:15,016 --> 00:50:15,558
Yeah.
1130
00:50:15,683 --> 00:50:18,978
Oh, don't get me wrong.
They've paid to make me go away.
1131
00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:22,190
[ Laughter ]
1132
00:50:23,775 --> 00:50:26,861
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1133
00:50:29,030 --> 00:50:31,032
It was good, right?
1134
00:50:31,157 --> 00:50:32,450
Yes, it was good.
1135
00:50:32,575 --> 00:50:34,994
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
1136
00:50:35,828 --> 00:50:38,540
I think I lost 30 pounds on that one.
1137
00:50:39,374 --> 00:50:41,876
I'm what they called
in vaudeville a sweat act.
1138
00:50:42,669 --> 00:50:43,753
We're gonna have a problem.
1139
00:50:43,878 --> 00:50:46,047
-What's that?
-There's always an excuse for me to talk.
1140
00:50:46,214 --> 00:50:48,633
Like, "Well, it would be good if you run
this phone call. It'd be good if you came by.
1141
00:50:48,758 --> 00:50:50,677
It'd be good if you talk to these people.
It would really help.
1142
00:50:50,802 --> 00:50:53,304
It'll just take 10 minutes. It'll take 15 minutes."
But it never does.
1143
00:50:53,513 --> 00:50:55,974
You could shoot me in the left lung
and I'll do this show,
1144
00:50:56,099 --> 00:50:58,226
but if I lose my voice, we're done.
1145
00:50:58,351 --> 00:50:59,769
Everyone's thrilled.
1146
00:50:59,894 --> 00:51:01,771
-They're all outside.
-I'll go say hi.
1147
00:51:03,314 --> 00:51:05,149
That was fantastic.
That was so much fun.
1148
00:51:05,275 --> 00:51:06,609
We melted minds.
1149
00:51:06,943 --> 00:51:08,027
Thank you so much.
1150
00:51:08,152 --> 00:51:10,488
[ Laughter ]
1151
00:51:10,613 --> 00:51:12,865
CARREY:
It doesn't matter if it's frickin' U2.
1152
00:51:12,991 --> 00:51:14,659
If I go to a concert,
1153
00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:18,788
I always have this intense compulsion
to go onstage, no matter who's onstage.
1154
00:51:18,913 --> 00:51:21,749
Invariably, security
gets in the way. Yeah.
1155
00:51:21,958 --> 00:51:23,585
I'm gonna tell people
that you just showed up.
1156
00:51:23,710 --> 00:51:25,461
-I can't stop him.
-What the hell?
1157
00:51:26,921 --> 00:51:28,506
Thanks for having me.
Thanks.
1158
00:51:28,631 --> 00:51:29,966
Thank you for doing it.
This was amazing.
1159
00:51:30,091 --> 00:51:31,384
I'm gonna take a hot tub.
1160
00:51:31,509 --> 00:51:33,636
You go right ahead.
1161
00:51:33,845 --> 00:51:35,388
-That was amazing.
-I had so much fun.
1162
00:51:35,513 --> 00:51:36,681
So fun to see that.
1163
00:51:36,806 --> 00:51:38,391
-Hi.
-Here we go.
1164
00:51:38,516 --> 00:51:39,976
Get the hot tub going.
1165
00:51:40,143 --> 00:51:42,395
-Hey. How are you?
-Hey. Thanks so much.
1166
00:51:42,562 --> 00:51:43,938
Hey, how are you?
Good to see you.
1167
00:51:44,063 --> 00:51:45,690
-Great job.
-Am I in trouble if I don't --
1168
00:51:45,815 --> 00:51:47,066
Can I go do this
and then come back?
1169
00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:48,318
Yeah, yeah, you can do this.
1170
00:51:48,443 --> 00:51:49,652
Now I go do the meet and greet.
1171
00:51:49,777 --> 00:51:51,654
-Oh, do it.
-It's the part that makes it all happen.
1172
00:51:51,779 --> 00:51:52,697
It's all right.
1173
00:51:52,822 --> 00:51:54,574
[ Cheers and applause ]
1174
00:51:54,699 --> 00:51:56,951
-Hey, how are you?
-I have a bromance with you.
1175
00:51:57,076 --> 00:51:59,245
I've always just kind of wanted
to run away and join the circus,
1176
00:51:59,370 --> 00:52:00,330
and that's what this show is.
1177
00:52:00,455 --> 00:52:01,873
One, two, and three.
1178
00:52:01,998 --> 00:52:03,791
Now, I made you
some cookies, Conan.
1179
00:52:03,916 --> 00:52:05,752
Now, I know --
and it's not poisonous.
1180
00:52:05,877 --> 00:52:08,921
WOMAN: On three.
One, two, and three.
1181
00:52:09,380 --> 00:52:11,674
-Thank you for liking what I do.
-Whoo!
1182
00:52:11,799 --> 00:52:12,800
You make us so happy.
1183
00:52:12,925 --> 00:52:14,135
At the end of the day --
Oh, that's --
1184
00:52:14,260 --> 00:52:16,304
That's, at the end of the day,
that's all I've ever wanted.
1185
00:52:16,429 --> 00:52:18,181
-Are you gonna bring --
-And money and real estate.
1186
00:52:18,389 --> 00:52:21,309
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, that was amazing.
1187
00:52:21,934 --> 00:52:26,522
I can't shut up, so I will talk to cab drivers
for 40 minutes when I don't have to.
1188
00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:28,524
Hey.
How do we get to each --
1189
00:52:28,650 --> 00:52:31,194
Hey. So, this is Karen Lee.
1190
00:52:31,319 --> 00:52:32,654
Hi. How are you?
Nice to meet you.
1191
00:52:32,779 --> 00:52:34,238
Nice to see you.
Oh, hey, how are you?
1192
00:52:34,364 --> 00:52:35,406
-Hi. Tab.
-How are you?
1193
00:52:35,531 --> 00:52:36,616
-Nice to see you.
-This is Sydney.
1194
00:52:36,741 --> 00:52:37,450
Hi, Coco.
1195
00:52:37,575 --> 00:52:38,284
[ Laughter ]
1196
00:52:38,409 --> 00:52:40,036
-[ Snarls ]
-[ Snarls ]
1197
00:52:40,244 --> 00:52:41,996
Hi. How are you?
1198
00:52:42,121 --> 00:52:43,539
-Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you.
1199
00:52:43,665 --> 00:52:44,916
This is my cousin Leonard.
1200
00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:46,250
-Hey, how you doing?
-Nice to meet you.
1201
00:52:46,376 --> 00:52:47,543
Nice to see you.
1202
00:52:47,669 --> 00:52:48,920
This is my Auntie April.
1203
00:52:49,045 --> 00:52:50,672
Hi, precious.
How are you?
1204
00:52:50,797 --> 00:52:52,256
Do you see any pizza
on my face?
1205
00:52:52,382 --> 00:52:53,591
No, I don't see any pizza.
1206
00:52:53,716 --> 00:52:55,677
-This is my mama.
-Hi. How are you?
1207
00:52:55,802 --> 00:52:57,970
-How are you?
-Good. Good. Good.
1208
00:52:58,096 --> 00:53:00,723
You have such a talented,
amazing daughter.
1209
00:53:00,848 --> 00:53:02,809
Mom, Mom,
get on the other side.
1210
00:53:02,934 --> 00:53:04,602
Treat the man right.
1211
00:53:04,811 --> 00:53:06,187
Get my good side now.
1212
00:53:06,312 --> 00:53:07,021
[ Laughs ]
1213
00:53:07,146 --> 00:53:09,315
I don't have a good side.
1214
00:53:09,524 --> 00:53:11,150
Let's use the real camera.
1215
00:53:11,275 --> 00:53:12,944
Yeah, right. Right.
1216
00:53:13,069 --> 00:53:14,987
Not something that's really a phone.
1217
00:53:15,113 --> 00:53:16,572
Three.
1218
00:53:16,781 --> 00:53:19,242
One, two...
1219
00:53:19,409 --> 00:53:20,743
Did it work out?
1220
00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:22,787
-Really nice to meet you.
-Pleasure.
1221
00:53:22,912 --> 00:53:24,080
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1222
00:53:24,205 --> 00:53:26,040
-Thanks a lot.
-Nice to see you.
1223
00:53:26,207 --> 00:53:28,501
-Nice meeting you guys.
-Nice meeting you.
1224
00:53:28,626 --> 00:53:31,045
-Thank you.
-Sit, sit, sit, sit.
1225
00:53:32,755 --> 00:53:38,678
Because it's the fucking craziness afterwards
that is kind of killing me.
1226
00:53:38,803 --> 00:53:40,304
It's not the show
that's gonna kill me.
1227
00:53:40,430 --> 00:53:43,099
And there's this whole culture
of backstage,
1228
00:53:43,224 --> 00:53:46,394
and, you know, I have real friends
that I want to talk to,
1229
00:53:46,519 --> 00:53:50,022
but other people just come in,
and I don't even know them.
1230
00:53:50,189 --> 00:53:52,692
Let's have a system --
Where's Jeff Ross?
1231
00:53:52,817 --> 00:53:55,319
We start it with Jeff Ross.
This is not your job.
1232
00:53:55,445 --> 00:53:58,698
-This is ridiculous.
-Yeah, but I could be like, "Hey, you got to go."
1233
00:53:58,823 --> 00:54:00,408
And then you could be like, "Ooh."
1234
00:54:00,533 --> 00:54:02,243
I could be very authoritative.
1235
00:54:02,368 --> 00:54:04,078
I'm gonna make you a tea --
a throat coat.
1236
00:54:04,287 --> 00:54:05,705
-Mom.
-Yes, throat coat.
1237
00:54:05,830 --> 00:54:07,290
No, you don't have to --
Don't make me a throat --
1238
00:54:07,415 --> 00:54:08,374
I don't want to drink that shit.
1239
00:54:08,499 --> 00:54:09,876
-Seriously.
-You want it with chamomile?
1240
00:54:10,001 --> 00:54:11,169
No. You know what I want to do?
1241
00:54:11,294 --> 00:54:15,047
Not talk to 100 people, you know,
who I don't even know,
1242
00:54:15,173 --> 00:54:18,760
not have each Coquette
bring in 35 people.
1243
00:54:18,885 --> 00:54:21,262
I'd like somebody to help me.
1244
00:54:21,429 --> 00:54:23,306
People take the hinges off the door,
1245
00:54:23,431 --> 00:54:25,975
and everybody from the audience
comes in here afterwards
1246
00:54:26,100 --> 00:54:28,186
and want different combinations of photos.
1247
00:54:28,311 --> 00:54:29,145
"I want a photo.
1248
00:54:29,270 --> 00:54:31,063
Now I want a photo
where you can string dance.
1249
00:54:31,189 --> 00:54:32,523
Can you hold this banana?
1250
00:54:32,648 --> 00:54:35,318
It's a private joke
with my friend from Iowa."
1251
00:54:35,485 --> 00:54:36,736
[ Knock on door ]
1252
00:54:36,986 --> 00:54:38,070
See which Coquette that is.
1253
00:54:38,196 --> 00:54:39,030
[ Laughs ]
1254
00:54:39,155 --> 00:54:41,073
We're going in.
There we are, man.
1255
00:54:41,449 --> 00:54:43,159
Borgata. Atlantic City.
1256
00:54:44,327 --> 00:54:46,621
We're gonna hit it,
we're gonna quit it.
1257
00:54:46,746 --> 00:54:48,039
Two shows. One night.
1258
00:54:52,752 --> 00:54:54,212
-How are you?
-Good.
1259
00:54:54,337 --> 00:54:55,713
Good. I got to go do
some meet and greet.
1260
00:54:55,838 --> 00:54:57,006
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
1261
00:54:57,131 --> 00:54:58,800
Think I'll give a little piece
of my soul away.
1262
00:54:58,925 --> 00:55:00,635
One, two, and three.
1263
00:55:01,427 --> 00:55:03,137
And I know she definitely
wants one one-on-one.
1264
00:55:03,262 --> 00:55:04,430
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1265
00:55:04,639 --> 00:55:06,849
You made this.
Thank you so much.
1266
00:55:07,016 --> 00:55:10,061
Do you have any advice
how to get our children into Episcopal?
1267
00:55:10,186 --> 00:55:11,062
Uh...
1268
00:55:11,187 --> 00:55:13,564
Idiot! Stupid...
1269
00:55:14,482 --> 00:55:15,733
Fat little man.
1270
00:55:15,942 --> 00:55:18,152
-Is that frickin' pizza?
-It's frickin' pizza.
1271
00:55:18,277 --> 00:55:19,570
What's this?
Is this a telegram?
1272
00:55:19,695 --> 00:55:21,614
It's from Jay Leno.
1273
00:55:21,739 --> 00:55:23,241
"Hope stand-up's going well.
1274
00:55:23,366 --> 00:55:26,410
Ha ha. See, it's not so hard after all.
Anyone can do it.
1275
00:55:26,536 --> 00:55:28,246
What's it like to have a soul?"
1276
00:55:28,371 --> 00:55:30,206
I don't even know what he's...
1277
00:55:30,331 --> 00:55:32,333
[ Laughter ]
1278
00:55:32,542 --> 00:55:34,669
Oh, they're hardcore about
the support for Conan O'Brien.
1279
00:55:34,794 --> 00:55:36,712
I-A-N.
1280
00:55:36,921 --> 00:55:39,882
"We told The Chin
on his recent trip there --"
1281
00:55:40,007 --> 00:55:41,133
What the fuck?
1282
00:55:41,259 --> 00:55:43,219
"Masturbating bear pizza."
1283
00:55:43,344 --> 00:55:46,597
-No way.
-"Conan is a hero in our eyes.
1284
00:55:46,722 --> 00:55:49,725
He honorably stepped down,
poked a little fun all the way,
1285
00:55:49,851 --> 00:55:54,438
and dignifiedly let The Chin place himself
on a pedestal of garbage."
1286
00:55:54,564 --> 00:55:56,524
I'm not making this up.
This is real.
1287
00:55:56,649 --> 00:55:57,692
Who is this for?
1288
00:55:57,817 --> 00:56:00,278
This one's Goldie Olson.
1289
00:56:00,444 --> 00:56:02,864
"This is a huge and monumental day
in the history of Atlantic City,
1290
00:56:02,989 --> 00:56:06,117
and everyone should roll out the red carpet
for our old Irish pal."
1291
00:56:06,242 --> 00:56:08,452
It looks like terrible, terrible pizza.
1292
00:56:08,578 --> 00:56:09,829
[ Laughter ]
1293
00:56:11,914 --> 00:56:14,876
Anyway, the point is,
I'm feeling pretty sexy right now.
1294
00:56:15,001 --> 00:56:15,960
You know how it works.
1295
00:56:16,085 --> 00:56:18,462
Sexy man on tour
equals groupies.
1296
00:56:18,588 --> 00:56:21,007
I'm looking for some
Coco groupies right now.
1297
00:56:21,132 --> 00:56:22,550
We got to find some.
1298
00:56:22,675 --> 00:56:25,136
My friend Andy Richter
has a camera,
1299
00:56:25,261 --> 00:56:26,804
and Andy is gonna
scan the crowd right now,
1300
00:56:26,929 --> 00:56:28,681
and he's gonna find us
some groupies.
1301
00:56:28,806 --> 00:56:30,600
Yes, okay.
Oh, my goodness.
1302
00:56:30,725 --> 00:56:32,727
Whoo! Please keep it --
1303
00:56:32,852 --> 00:56:34,437
What are you doing?
1304
00:56:34,562 --> 00:56:38,107
Are you spanking a pony?
What are you doing?
1305
00:56:38,232 --> 00:56:40,443
Oh, God.
1306
00:56:40,568 --> 00:56:42,904
I don't think we sell that t-shirt.
1307
00:56:43,070 --> 00:56:44,947
Hi.
1308
00:56:45,156 --> 00:56:46,824
Hey. What the fuck?
1309
00:56:46,949 --> 00:56:48,326
Wait a minute.
What is that?
1310
00:56:48,451 --> 00:56:49,660
RICHTER:
He knows how to work it.
1311
00:56:49,785 --> 00:56:51,662
[ Laughs ]
1312
00:56:51,787 --> 00:56:52,997
-Whoo!
-I like your hair.
1313
00:56:53,122 --> 00:56:54,665
Wait. Oh, my God.
1314
00:56:54,957 --> 00:56:56,500
Aah!
1315
00:56:57,293 --> 00:56:59,378
MOVSESIAN:
I would.
1316
00:57:02,256 --> 00:57:04,550
Hey, it's me.
1317
00:57:04,675 --> 00:57:07,345
I'm just calling you in between --
in between shows.
1318
00:57:07,470 --> 00:57:09,472
10 minutes, Conan.
1319
00:57:09,597 --> 00:57:10,848
Sona, 10 minutes.
1320
00:57:10,973 --> 00:57:12,308
See that crowd right there?
1321
00:57:12,433 --> 00:57:14,143
That's the crowd tonight.
That's tonight's crowd.
1322
00:57:14,352 --> 00:57:16,312
I'm like, "Hey, how you folks doing?"
1323
00:57:16,437 --> 00:57:18,731
MOVSESIAN:
Yeah! Kick 'em in the face!
1324
00:57:18,898 --> 00:57:20,566
Powder.
1325
00:57:20,691 --> 00:57:22,485
O'BRIEN:
Oh, sweet powder.
1326
00:57:22,610 --> 00:57:23,778
MOVSESIAN:
[ Laughs ]
1327
00:57:23,903 --> 00:57:26,280
Protect my skin, powder.
1328
00:57:26,405 --> 00:57:28,115
Absorb all moistures.
1329
00:57:28,783 --> 00:57:32,161
Oh, powder.
Sweet powder.
1330
00:57:32,286 --> 00:57:35,915
Paint the illusion
my skin is dry.
1331
00:57:36,332 --> 00:57:37,166
Oh, powder.
1332
00:57:37,291 --> 00:57:39,543
RICHTER: Shut the fuck up.
You got a show to do.
1333
00:57:39,669 --> 00:57:41,629
O'BRIEN:
Oh, powder.
1334
00:57:43,089 --> 00:57:45,925
I can't -- I can't breathe.
1335
00:57:46,050 --> 00:57:48,094
Powder,
your natural enemy is sweat.
1336
00:57:48,219 --> 00:57:50,596
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
1337
00:57:50,805 --> 00:57:54,058
I walked away
from the greatest franchise in history
1338
00:57:54,266 --> 00:57:56,102
'cause I refused
to go on at midnight,
1339
00:57:56,227 --> 00:57:57,895
and here I am on at midnight.
1340
00:57:58,020 --> 00:57:59,271
[ Laughter ]
1341
00:57:59,438 --> 00:58:01,107
Hey, folks,
how you doing tonight?
1342
00:58:01,232 --> 00:58:02,400
ALL:
We're great.
1343
00:58:02,525 --> 00:58:05,444
Okay, that was horrible.
How are you doing tonight?
1344
00:58:05,569 --> 00:58:07,530
ALL:
We're great!
1345
00:58:07,655 --> 00:58:09,448
Are you enjoying the show so far?
1346
00:58:09,699 --> 00:58:12,660
ALL:
Yeah, it's fine.
1347
00:58:12,952 --> 00:58:14,078
[ Laughter ]
1348
00:58:14,203 --> 00:58:16,455
It's fine?
It's fine?
1349
00:58:16,622 --> 00:58:18,374
I'm trying to give you
the best show I can.
1350
00:58:18,499 --> 00:58:19,959
If I'm not doing something
you want to see,
1351
00:58:20,167 --> 00:58:21,752
you got to tell me right now.
1352
00:58:22,086 --> 00:58:24,505
ALL:
Kiss LaBamba!
1353
00:58:26,090 --> 00:58:27,133
No.
1354
00:58:27,341 --> 00:58:30,511
ALL: Kiss him
like he's your girlfriend
1355
00:58:30,636 --> 00:58:33,681
and you've been on a submarine
for six months.
1356
00:58:35,683 --> 00:58:37,059
Let's get out of here.
1357
00:58:37,184 --> 00:58:39,812
Let's make like a cold wind and blow.
1358
00:58:42,064 --> 00:58:43,607
Another day, another dollar.
1359
00:58:43,816 --> 00:58:45,568
♪ On the road again ♪
1360
00:58:47,028 --> 00:58:49,947
♪ I just can't wait
to get on the road again ♪
1361
00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:51,032
♪ Wa-ooh ♪
1362
00:58:51,157 --> 00:58:54,827
♪ The life I love is making music
with my friends ♪
1363
00:58:55,036 --> 00:58:56,996
♪ I can't wait to get on the road again ♪
1364
00:58:57,204 --> 00:58:59,582
Why are we stopped here?
1365
00:59:01,792 --> 00:59:05,004
I'm getting off this goddamned bus
and finding out what's happening.
1366
00:59:05,129 --> 00:59:07,048
Boy, this will be good.
1367
00:59:07,173 --> 00:59:09,258
Okay, Sona, what's happening?
Why did the bus stop?
1368
00:59:10,092 --> 00:59:11,594
How are you?
What's your name?
1369
00:59:11,719 --> 00:59:12,803
-Elaine.
-Elaine.
1370
00:59:12,928 --> 00:59:13,846
-Oh, my God.
-Hey, Lindsay.
1371
00:59:13,971 --> 00:59:15,431
-How are you?
-I'm Jen.
1372
00:59:15,556 --> 00:59:17,308
How's it going?
We're headed to Boston.
1373
00:59:17,433 --> 00:59:18,934
I have a band, and...
1374
00:59:19,143 --> 00:59:21,228
So, I do comedy,
but then I jump in with them
1375
00:59:21,353 --> 00:59:23,022
'cause I play guitar and sing,
1376
00:59:23,147 --> 00:59:24,440
and we do --
it's a mix.
1377
00:59:24,565 --> 00:59:26,275
I like your glasses.
Those are cool.
1378
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,486
-You like this?
-Yeah. Yeah.
1379
00:59:28,611 --> 00:59:30,112
Take care.
Nice to meet you.
1380
00:59:30,237 --> 00:59:31,781
Nice to meet you.
Bye-bye.
1381
00:59:31,906 --> 00:59:33,282
Keep the bling.
Get more bling.
1382
00:59:33,407 --> 00:59:35,159
Yeah, we wish you all the best.
1383
00:59:35,284 --> 00:59:37,119
I'm sorry they did what they did.
1384
00:59:37,244 --> 00:59:38,913
No, you know what?
I was sorry at the time, too,
1385
00:59:39,038 --> 00:59:41,248
and then it turns out to be --
I wouldn't have been able --
1386
00:59:41,373 --> 00:59:43,501
I wouldn't have been able
to do the tour.
1387
00:59:43,626 --> 00:59:45,961
We're headed to Martha's Vineyard.
1388
00:59:46,087 --> 00:59:47,630
Ooh, that's gonna be nice.
1389
00:59:47,755 --> 00:59:49,465
Can we pray for you?
1390
00:59:49,590 --> 00:59:51,050
-Can you what?
-Pray for you?
1391
00:59:51,175 --> 00:59:52,676
Oh, pray for me?
Sure, you can.
1392
00:59:52,802 --> 00:59:53,803
Yeah.
1393
00:59:53,928 --> 00:59:56,222
Dear God, I thank you, Father,
for this moment, oh, God,
1394
00:59:56,347 --> 01:00:01,227
for allowing us to meet Conan O'Brien, Lord,
on our journey, Father,
1395
01:00:01,352 --> 01:00:05,064
but I'm asking, oh, God,
that you open doors for this man, oh, God,
1396
01:00:05,272 --> 01:00:08,025
that his finances
are in your hands, oh, God.
1397
01:00:08,150 --> 01:00:10,277
Keep him safe and his family, God.
1398
01:00:10,402 --> 01:00:14,365
Bless him unconditionally,
in Jesus' name. Amen.
1399
01:00:14,490 --> 01:00:16,367
Wow.
That's really beautiful.
1400
01:00:16,492 --> 01:00:17,868
-Thank you for doing that.
-Take care.
1401
01:00:17,993 --> 01:00:20,329
There's a reason why you're here
and we're here.
1402
01:00:20,454 --> 01:00:23,707
♪ I can't wait to get
on the road again ♪
1403
01:00:24,834 --> 01:00:27,628
♪ Dear God, please let me
have a show again ♪
1404
01:00:27,753 --> 01:00:31,090
So, we'll stay over
after the second Boston show,
1405
01:00:31,215 --> 01:00:33,509
leave in the afternoon
as late as possible,
1406
01:00:33,634 --> 01:00:36,804
probably 3:00
to go to Uncasville,
1407
01:00:36,929 --> 01:00:38,681
where we're on
after the basketball game.
1408
01:00:38,806 --> 01:00:41,934
Then we'll overnight
after that to Nashville.
1409
01:00:42,059 --> 01:00:44,228
It's an 11-hour drive.
1410
01:00:44,436 --> 01:00:46,522
Can we talk about Bonnaroo
for two minutes?
1411
01:00:46,647 --> 01:00:48,065
MOVSESIAN:
Oh, nice.
1412
01:00:48,274 --> 01:00:50,901
The dressing-room situation
is very primitive.
1413
01:00:51,026 --> 01:00:52,903
One of the van buses
will be backstage.
1414
01:00:53,028 --> 01:00:54,405
That's fine.
You look at me.
1415
01:00:54,530 --> 01:00:56,115
-I'm a road dog now.
-I know.
1416
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:57,741
Don't you worry about me.
1417
01:00:57,867 --> 01:01:00,077
I'll piss in a bucket,
I'll shit in your hat.
1418
01:01:00,202 --> 01:01:01,537
It doesn't matter to me.
1419
01:01:02,997 --> 01:01:04,999
I know you don't enjoy
"Rock this Town,"
1420
01:01:05,124 --> 01:01:07,251
but I have more fun doing that
than anything else,
1421
01:01:07,376 --> 01:01:08,669
and I'm entitled to have some fun.
1422
01:01:08,794 --> 01:01:11,714
Yeah, but at whose expense?
1423
01:01:12,173 --> 01:01:14,341
[ Upbeat music plays ]
1424
01:01:18,888 --> 01:01:20,723
Bye-bye, Beantown.
1425
01:01:20,848 --> 01:01:23,184
There are showers in here,
but they look very suspicious.
1426
01:01:23,309 --> 01:01:25,436
I'm not sure I love
these wang showers.
1427
01:01:25,561 --> 01:01:27,271
I'm suspicious, but I think
I have to take a shower.
1428
01:01:27,396 --> 01:01:28,898
What's the worst
that could happen?
1429
01:01:29,023 --> 01:01:32,359
[ Singing indistinctly ]
1430
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:35,571
[ Cheers and applause ]
1431
01:01:36,739 --> 01:01:39,200
-Thank you.
-Thanks, Conan.
1432
01:01:39,408 --> 01:01:41,243
No pictures, guys.
No pictures, guys.
1433
01:01:41,368 --> 01:01:44,580
No pictures, guys.
No pictures, guys.
1434
01:01:44,705 --> 01:01:46,707
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1435
01:01:46,832 --> 01:01:48,292
No pictures.
1436
01:01:48,500 --> 01:01:50,794
They don't let us keep
these buses here.
1437
01:01:50,961 --> 01:01:53,005
Bye, Conan!
1438
01:01:53,130 --> 01:01:56,258
See you guys in a while.
1439
01:01:59,595 --> 01:02:02,640
Hi, Mr. O'Brien.
My name's Andy.
1440
01:02:02,765 --> 01:02:03,807
Just don't speak to me.
1441
01:02:03,933 --> 01:02:05,559
All right, I won't.
Don't worry.
1442
01:02:05,684 --> 01:02:10,773
The entire ride home, don't worry.
I won't say a word to you.
1443
01:02:12,816 --> 01:02:14,485
MAN: you lived here
for 20 years of your life,
1444
01:02:14,610 --> 01:02:16,445
and you have an emotional
connection with this town?
1445
01:02:16,570 --> 01:02:17,321
O'BRIEN: Yeah.
1446
01:02:17,446 --> 01:02:18,697
I really like this town.
But I didn't --
1447
01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:21,700
I'm not from here, so I never felt
like this was my home.
1448
01:02:21,825 --> 01:02:23,452
But now I don't even feel
like Boston's my home.
1449
01:02:23,577 --> 01:02:25,579
Los Angeles doesn't really feel
like my home.
1450
01:02:25,704 --> 01:02:27,623
I don't know where my home is.
1451
01:02:27,790 --> 01:02:28,874
-Hey, Chelsea.
-Hi. How are you?
1452
01:02:29,083 --> 01:02:30,626
Would you like to do
any photos or anything?
1453
01:02:30,751 --> 01:02:32,044
It it okay to do
one of these things?
1454
01:02:32,169 --> 01:02:33,003
I can...
1455
01:02:33,128 --> 01:02:34,546
-But you won't?
-Okay.
1456
01:02:34,672 --> 01:02:36,507
What the fuck?
You do that, you do this.
1457
01:02:36,632 --> 01:02:38,133
It's all about moving these hips.
1458
01:02:38,259 --> 01:02:40,052
I love Flight of the Conchords.
1459
01:02:40,177 --> 01:02:41,762
-Oh, thank you.
-So nice to meet you.
1460
01:02:41,887 --> 01:02:42,888
Nice to meet you, too.
1461
01:02:43,013 --> 01:02:45,182
Um, let me see
if he's still talking to her.
1462
01:02:45,307 --> 01:02:46,308
-Oh, hi.
-Hi. How are you?
1463
01:02:46,433 --> 01:02:47,643
-Good. I'm Kristen.
-Hi.
1464
01:02:47,768 --> 01:02:49,061
-Nice to meet you.
-It's nice to meet you, too.
1465
01:02:49,186 --> 01:02:50,187
I just wanted
to give you a present.
1466
01:02:50,312 --> 01:02:51,814
Look at that.
That's great.
1467
01:02:51,939 --> 01:02:54,275
Thanks, dude.
All right, bye.
1468
01:02:57,653 --> 01:02:58,862
You think David Hockney's queer?
1469
01:02:58,988 --> 01:03:00,781
No. I said it's hot in here.
1470
01:03:00,906 --> 01:03:02,616
ROSS:
I haven't talked to Sweeney yet
1471
01:03:02,741 --> 01:03:04,326
about the plan with Colbert.
1472
01:03:04,451 --> 01:03:06,328
Is it a surprise?
Is he just gonna walk onstage?
1473
01:03:06,453 --> 01:03:07,538
I don't -- This is the least re--
1474
01:03:07,663 --> 01:03:08,789
I mean, there's no rehearsal.
1475
01:03:08,914 --> 01:03:11,458
-I hereby grant to you --
-No!
1476
01:03:11,583 --> 01:03:13,460
-Right. You do one of those.
-That's great.
1477
01:03:13,585 --> 01:03:15,296
So, they know to stop the music
when you get hurt?
1478
01:03:15,421 --> 01:03:16,380
Do they know to stop --
1479
01:03:16,505 --> 01:03:17,548
No. I'm gonna tell them.
1480
01:03:17,673 --> 01:03:20,217
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1481
01:03:23,345 --> 01:03:25,014
Conan O'Brien.
1482
01:03:25,222 --> 01:03:26,974
You challenge me...
1483
01:03:27,099 --> 01:03:28,017
Then I give you another.
1484
01:03:28,142 --> 01:03:29,727
So, you dance first. Right.
1485
01:03:29,852 --> 01:03:32,396
Then I -- then maybe we go together.
1486
01:03:32,563 --> 01:03:34,940
And then, Jon -- you walk out
and you stop it.
1487
01:03:35,065 --> 01:03:37,151
You stop the music.
1488
01:03:37,359 --> 01:03:39,903
Okay, you should get ready.
1489
01:03:40,904 --> 01:03:42,531
Andy comes out and shoots Jon.
1490
01:03:42,656 --> 01:03:46,076
-Andy shoots Jon.
-Wait, what?
1491
01:03:46,201 --> 01:03:48,037
That's a bit lazy.
1492
01:03:48,162 --> 01:03:51,457
Does anyone here think
that seems a bit lazy?
1493
01:03:54,710 --> 01:03:56,253
O'BRIEN: That was
a big milestone to get past --
1494
01:03:56,378 --> 01:03:58,005
I mean, to do, you know?
1495
01:03:58,130 --> 01:04:00,132
Radio City, New York.
1496
01:04:00,257 --> 01:04:02,217
-Thanks for holding the elevator.
-Yeah, thanks for doing that.
1497
01:04:02,343 --> 01:04:03,761
Oh, no problem.
No problem, Mr. O'Brien.
1498
01:04:03,886 --> 01:04:04,803
Conan. Call me Conan.
1499
01:04:04,928 --> 01:04:06,722
-Yes, sir.
-See? "Sir."
1500
01:04:06,847 --> 01:04:09,725
He called me "sir."
No one calls me "sir."
1501
01:04:09,850 --> 01:04:10,934
I don't call you "sir."
1502
01:04:11,143 --> 01:04:12,686
Talk to me for a second.
1503
01:04:12,811 --> 01:04:13,854
-Hey.
-Hey.
1504
01:04:13,979 --> 01:04:14,730
It seemed good.
1505
01:04:14,855 --> 01:04:18,400
You gave this audience so much.
1506
01:04:18,609 --> 01:04:20,486
They have no faces left.
1507
01:04:20,652 --> 01:04:23,822
[ Cheers and applause ]
1508
01:04:25,574 --> 01:04:26,742
-Oh, my.
-What is it?
1509
01:04:26,867 --> 01:04:28,494
No, they just have
barricades up
1510
01:04:28,619 --> 01:04:30,537
'cause there's quite
a few people out there.
1511
01:04:30,662 --> 01:04:31,830
Here we go.
I'm not going to bed.
1512
01:04:31,955 --> 01:04:34,166
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You are not going out.
1513
01:04:34,291 --> 01:04:35,584
Yeah, I'm not.
I can't go to bed.
1514
01:04:35,709 --> 01:04:37,294
I'm not gonna go home --
Jeff, you don't get it.
1515
01:04:37,419 --> 01:04:39,088
I can't go from this
to doing what?
1516
01:04:39,213 --> 01:04:41,382
Sitting and reading a Kindle?
That's not gonna fucking happen.
1517
01:04:41,507 --> 01:04:43,759
[ Cheers and applause ]
1518
01:04:45,052 --> 01:04:46,637
Hey. Hey, buddy!
1519
01:04:46,762 --> 01:04:48,514
-Hi. How are you?
-How are you?
1520
01:04:48,639 --> 01:04:50,265
Hi. Thanks for coming.
You guys are awesome.
1521
01:04:50,391 --> 01:04:51,600
Guys, I can sign things.
1522
01:04:51,725 --> 01:04:54,269
It's kind of hard to take photos
with everybody, you know.
1523
01:04:54,395 --> 01:04:56,897
-Come on.
-Oh, you mean just for you, you mean?
1524
01:04:57,022 --> 01:04:58,732
You're the nicest guy.
Come on.
1525
01:04:58,857 --> 01:05:00,776
That guy said
that was the only one.
1526
01:05:00,901 --> 01:05:04,405
Oh, so I guess
that guy was lying.
1527
01:05:04,530 --> 01:05:06,740
I guess that guy was a dick.
1528
01:05:06,865 --> 01:05:08,742
Guys, we're done
with the pictures, 'cause...
1529
01:05:08,867 --> 01:05:11,453
"Come on!"
Is that your catchphrase?
1530
01:05:11,578 --> 01:05:13,455
You can keep saying,
"Come on, come on,"
1531
01:05:13,580 --> 01:05:16,792
but it's really
not coming across too well.
1532
01:05:16,959 --> 01:05:18,168
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1533
01:05:18,293 --> 01:05:19,503
Can we get a picture?
1534
01:05:19,628 --> 01:05:21,380
It's much easier to sign stuff.
1535
01:05:21,505 --> 01:05:23,632
Hey, everybody, I got to go.
Thank you so much!
1536
01:05:23,757 --> 01:05:24,800
[ Crowd cheering ]
1537
01:05:24,925 --> 01:05:27,177
See you.
1538
01:05:27,845 --> 01:05:29,680
Can you shut that fucking door?
1539
01:05:29,805 --> 01:05:31,306
-Thank you.
-Take care. See you, man.
1540
01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:32,891
Thanks.
1541
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:38,355
From here on in, I want to make sure
that the days off are really days off.
1542
01:05:38,564 --> 01:05:41,233
[ Bagpipes playing ]
1543
01:05:44,445 --> 01:05:46,613
[ Imitates bagpipe music ]
1544
01:05:48,490 --> 01:05:50,576
Why do I feel
like a fireman died?
1545
01:06:04,256 --> 01:06:06,383
WOMAN:
We are 2 minutes away to start.
1546
01:06:06,508 --> 01:06:08,594
Oh, there's a TV
over there in the corner.
1547
01:06:08,719 --> 01:06:12,055
Does someone want to monitor
what the show's --
1548
01:06:12,264 --> 01:06:14,266
[ Cheers and applause ]
1549
01:06:14,433 --> 01:06:16,143
How far are we
into the schedule?
1550
01:06:16,268 --> 01:06:17,895
Please tell me. How much further
do we have to go?
1551
01:06:18,020 --> 01:06:20,063
-Top of page 2.
-And where am I?
1552
01:06:20,189 --> 01:06:21,815
It doesn't really matter how many.
1553
01:06:21,940 --> 01:06:23,400
-Stop saying that.
-It's 10-minute --
1554
01:06:23,525 --> 01:06:25,402
It's how many 10-minute
performances before you.
1555
01:06:25,527 --> 01:06:27,196
We're dead. It's over.
1556
01:06:27,321 --> 01:06:29,072
I want everyone on the bus.
We're getting out of here.
1557
01:06:29,198 --> 01:06:31,158
This is crazy.
It's gonna be 11:30.
1558
01:06:31,366 --> 01:06:34,995
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1559
01:06:37,039 --> 01:06:39,416
What's happening now?
What's happening?
1560
01:06:39,541 --> 01:06:42,127
68 minutes from now,
you will take the stage.
1561
01:06:42,252 --> 01:06:44,755
-68 minutes from now?
-68 minutes from now,
1562
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:46,423
if they stick
to the schedule closely.
1563
01:06:46,548 --> 01:06:47,799
I need a cab.
1564
01:06:47,925 --> 01:06:49,468
I'm going to the Four Seasons Hotel.
1565
01:06:49,593 --> 01:06:52,262
I would give that a 20% upside.
1566
01:06:52,387 --> 01:06:54,264
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1567
01:06:54,389 --> 01:06:57,559
[ Bass playing the White Stripes'
"7 Nation Army" ]
1568
01:07:00,270 --> 01:07:03,774
[ As Jack White ]
♪ I'm goin' to Baltimore ♪
1569
01:07:03,899 --> 01:07:08,320
♪ Far from this opera
forever more ♪
1570
01:07:27,381 --> 01:07:31,385
[ Folk music playing ]
1571
01:07:44,940 --> 01:07:47,317
Oh, not a mime. No.
1572
01:07:47,568 --> 01:07:49,528
40 minutes behind schedule.
1573
01:07:53,949 --> 01:07:56,577
I thought it was
a bad idea to have...
1574
01:07:56,702 --> 01:08:00,664
What if I run right now --
Just said, "This has to -- Stop it."
1575
01:08:01,623 --> 01:08:02,749
Just stop it.
1576
01:08:02,874 --> 01:08:04,793
Just stop it.
1577
01:08:07,796 --> 01:08:10,257
[ Intro to "Rock this Town" plays ]
1578
01:08:11,258 --> 01:08:12,509
♪ Come on ♪
1579
01:08:16,096 --> 01:08:17,180
♪ Well, my baby and me ♪
1580
01:08:17,306 --> 01:08:19,891
♪ We went out last Saturday night ♪
1581
01:08:20,017 --> 01:08:21,727
♪ I had my hair piled high ♪
1582
01:08:21,852 --> 01:08:24,021
♪ My baby, she looked so right ♪
1583
01:08:24,146 --> 01:08:26,982
♪ Well, pick you up at 10:00,
have you home by 2:00 ♪
1584
01:08:27,107 --> 01:08:28,817
♪ Mama don't know
what's in store for you ♪
1585
01:08:28,942 --> 01:08:29,985
♪ That's all right ♪
1586
01:08:30,110 --> 01:08:31,862
♪ We're looking
as good as can be ♪
1587
01:08:31,987 --> 01:08:34,531
♪ Well, we're gonna rock this town ♪
1588
01:08:34,656 --> 01:08:36,742
♪ Rock it inside out ♪
1589
01:08:36,867 --> 01:08:38,785
♪ Yeah, we gonna rock this town ♪
1590
01:08:38,910 --> 01:08:40,996
♪ Gonna make you swing and shout ♪
1591
01:08:41,121 --> 01:08:42,205
♪ Yeah ♪
1592
01:08:42,331 --> 01:08:44,166
♪ Rock, rock, rock, rock ♪
1593
01:08:44,291 --> 01:08:45,876
♪ Rock till we pop,
we're gonna roll till we drop ♪
1594
01:08:46,001 --> 01:08:47,461
♪ I'm gonna rock this town ♪
1595
01:08:47,586 --> 01:08:48,920
♪ And rip this place apart ♪
1596
01:08:51,006 --> 01:08:52,215
Hold my hand.
1597
01:08:52,341 --> 01:08:56,386
Takeoff's always the hardest part.
1598
01:09:02,768 --> 01:09:06,229
-Your vocal?
-I couldn't hear it great, actually.
1599
01:09:06,355 --> 01:09:07,356
It's better now.
1600
01:09:07,564 --> 01:09:09,066
[ Cheers and applause ]
1601
01:09:09,191 --> 01:09:11,568
♪ Oooh, well ♪
1602
01:09:11,693 --> 01:09:12,736
[ Laughs ]
1603
01:09:12,861 --> 01:09:14,154
Why don't you try it?
1604
01:09:14,279 --> 01:09:16,698
♪ Ohh, well ♪
1605
01:09:16,865 --> 01:09:18,909
♪ One, two flights,
three flights, four ♪
1606
01:09:19,034 --> 01:09:20,911
♪ Five, six, seven flights,
eight flights more ♪
1607
01:09:21,036 --> 01:09:23,163
♪ That's the time
I'm starting to drag ♪
1608
01:09:23,288 --> 01:09:25,457
♪ 15th floor, I'm ready to sag ♪
1609
01:09:25,582 --> 01:09:28,043
♪ Get to the top,
I'm too tired to rock ♪
1610
01:09:28,168 --> 01:09:30,671
[ Musical interlude ]
1611
01:09:55,237 --> 01:09:57,197
♪ One, two flights,
three flights, four ♪
1612
01:09:57,322 --> 01:09:59,282
♪ Five, six, seven flights,
eight flights more ♪
1613
01:09:59,408 --> 01:10:01,368
♪ About this time
I'm starting to drag ♪
1614
01:10:01,493 --> 01:10:03,495
♪ 15th floor, I'm ready to sag ♪
1615
01:10:03,704 --> 01:10:06,957
♪ Get to the top
and I'm too tired to rock ♪
1616
01:10:17,884 --> 01:10:19,261
[ Music stops ]
1617
01:10:19,428 --> 01:10:21,722
Jack White!
1618
01:10:21,847 --> 01:10:23,181
I think that's it.
1619
01:10:23,306 --> 01:10:25,225
I'm going to the hospital now.
1620
01:10:25,392 --> 01:10:27,519
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1621
01:10:30,272 --> 01:10:32,232
Sorry I missed you.
1622
01:10:32,357 --> 01:10:34,067
Ah, it's too small a space.
1623
01:10:34,234 --> 01:10:37,863
One thing. No photos.
One thing. No photos.
1624
01:10:38,071 --> 01:10:39,990
One thing. Hello.
Speak English?
1625
01:10:40,115 --> 01:10:42,159
One thing. No photos.
Right on.
1626
01:10:42,284 --> 01:10:43,160
One thing. No photos.
1627
01:10:43,285 --> 01:10:44,578
One thing. No photos.
1628
01:10:44,703 --> 01:10:45,954
It's actually my shirt.
1629
01:10:48,165 --> 01:10:49,875
Hey.
1630
01:10:50,125 --> 01:10:52,169
Thank you.
1631
01:10:57,632 --> 01:10:59,801
It's like being in a zoo.
1632
01:11:00,677 --> 01:11:03,972
[ Mid-tempo hip-hop music plays ]
1633
01:11:17,277 --> 01:11:19,905
RICHTER:
Ooh, drum tower!
1634
01:11:20,322 --> 01:11:21,782
I hate these.
1635
01:11:21,907 --> 01:11:23,492
I think these look like shit.
1636
01:11:23,617 --> 01:11:26,036
-They don't look good.
-They don't look good.
1637
01:11:26,161 --> 01:11:27,537
I'm a known human being.
1638
01:11:27,662 --> 01:11:29,664
I can't be seen looking like this.
1639
01:11:29,873 --> 01:11:32,083
I'm gonna look like a freak.
1640
01:11:32,209 --> 01:11:33,919
-Andy...
-You look good. You look good.
1641
01:11:34,044 --> 01:11:34,961
[ Laughs ]
1642
01:11:35,504 --> 01:11:37,589
It's all a fashion thing, Andy.
For Christ's sake.
1643
01:11:37,714 --> 01:11:39,883
And I can't wear a white hat
if you're wearing a white hat.
1644
01:11:40,926 --> 01:11:42,552
Oh, good.
It's miserable again.
1645
01:11:43,303 --> 01:11:45,222
This is ours
until right after the show.
1646
01:11:45,347 --> 01:11:47,516
-What about that?
-You want to do -- anything you want.
1647
01:11:47,724 --> 01:11:49,476
This is all stuff
I bought for you for today.
1648
01:11:49,601 --> 01:11:51,728
Don't talk to me like I'm a child.
1649
01:11:51,853 --> 01:11:54,189
Don't put up with it.
Just stand up for yourself.
1650
01:11:54,314 --> 01:11:57,025
"Raw" suit?
Oh, poor Conan.
1651
01:11:57,192 --> 01:11:59,027
[ Rhythmic clapping ]
1652
01:11:59,152 --> 01:12:03,114
People started lining up today
at 5:30 for this show.
1653
01:12:03,323 --> 01:12:06,868
So, we're gonna do a bunch
of jokes about saps?
1654
01:12:08,537 --> 01:12:10,872
[ Upbeat music plays ]
1655
01:12:25,679 --> 01:12:27,639
[ Cheers and applause ]
1656
01:12:27,889 --> 01:12:32,602
15 minutes ago, they told me
the air-conditioning went out in this tent.
1657
01:12:32,727 --> 01:12:34,896
[ Cheers and applause ]
1658
01:12:35,730 --> 01:12:40,026
It's like we're doing comedy
in a Native American sweat lodge.
1659
01:12:40,610 --> 01:12:43,363
This is great. In 6 months,
I've gone from hosting "The Tonight Show"
1660
01:12:43,488 --> 01:12:45,866
to performing at a refugee camp.
1661
01:12:45,991 --> 01:12:48,618
[ Laughter ]
1662
01:12:48,827 --> 01:12:50,453
You seem to want to get
a picture close up.
1663
01:12:50,579 --> 01:12:52,038
Do you? Do you want
to get a closer picture?
1664
01:12:52,163 --> 01:12:53,957
Come on up.
That's okay. That's all right.
1665
01:12:54,082 --> 01:12:55,917
It's all fine.
1666
01:12:56,918 --> 01:12:58,128
Let's get a picture together.
1667
01:12:58,253 --> 01:12:59,129
[ Growls ]
1668
01:12:59,254 --> 01:13:00,839
Right here.
Let's turn this way.
1669
01:13:00,964 --> 01:13:02,549
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1670
01:13:02,674 --> 01:13:04,509
Right here.
This is all Bonnaroo, baby.
1671
01:13:04,634 --> 01:13:07,596
[ Growls ]
1672
01:13:10,807 --> 01:13:11,808
I love you.
1673
01:13:11,933 --> 01:13:13,894
[ Cheers and applause ]
1674
01:13:14,019 --> 01:13:16,855
Where are you going?
1675
01:13:16,980 --> 01:13:18,565
Come back.
1676
01:13:23,028 --> 01:13:25,071
[ Upbeat music plays ]
1677
01:13:31,119 --> 01:13:32,787
Yeah!
1678
01:13:38,293 --> 01:13:39,836
MAN:
Two words to you, buddy.
1679
01:13:39,961 --> 01:13:41,004
You're amazing.
1680
01:13:41,129 --> 01:13:42,547
Why? Why today
and not any other day?
1681
01:13:42,672 --> 01:13:44,674
I'll tell you later.
1682
01:13:44,799 --> 01:13:45,800
You will?
1683
01:13:47,510 --> 01:13:49,471
That's me. Whenever I hear
someone say "That was amazing,"
1684
01:13:49,596 --> 01:13:51,848
I think, "What was wrong
with the other ones?"
1685
01:13:59,481 --> 01:14:00,690
He got stopped, of course.
1686
01:14:00,815 --> 01:14:02,484
When I first met Jack,
1687
01:14:02,692 --> 01:14:04,653
it was a couple years
before the White Stripes hit,
1688
01:14:04,778 --> 01:14:06,321
and I was in a bowling alley in Detroit.
1689
01:14:06,446 --> 01:14:07,364
Conan, we got to run.
1690
01:14:07,489 --> 01:14:09,282
I know.
Just give me one second.
1691
01:14:09,824 --> 01:14:13,954
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1692
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:16,790
-I guess you're good?
-Thank you, Missy.
1693
01:14:17,999 --> 01:14:21,086
-This is Nella Page.
-Oh, my goodness.
1694
01:14:21,211 --> 01:14:23,380
As in Jimmy,
and that's Alex Lennon.
1695
01:14:23,505 --> 01:14:25,048
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
1696
01:14:25,173 --> 01:14:27,509
Good. Great. Thank you.
1697
01:14:27,676 --> 01:14:32,555
I mean, can it be something as easy
as just coming out and saying,
1698
01:14:32,681 --> 01:14:35,016
"How's everybody doing? Blah.
You can be louder. Blah."
1699
01:14:35,141 --> 01:14:38,144
And then be like,
"Here. Here's the fucking nuts" or something.
1700
01:14:38,269 --> 01:14:41,690
I mean, couldn't it be just like, literally,
"How you doing?", one joke and then...
1701
01:14:41,815 --> 01:14:45,652
Again, I don't think you're contractually
obligated to do bits out there.
1702
01:14:45,777 --> 01:14:47,070
No, it's not that.
1703
01:14:47,195 --> 01:14:49,906
I'm always disheartened
1704
01:14:50,031 --> 01:14:52,575
when the people that actually made
the arrangement are never here.
1705
01:14:52,701 --> 01:14:53,827
Right. Right.
1706
01:14:53,952 --> 01:14:56,955
No one's here. Nobody ever knows
what the fuck they're talking about.
1707
01:14:57,080 --> 01:14:59,457
It's always, "Yeah, yeah, it'll be fine.
It'll be fine. It'll be fine."
1708
01:14:59,582 --> 01:15:01,376
And then Jeff's on a plane,
and later he can say,
1709
01:15:01,501 --> 01:15:02,752
"I didn't know. I didn't know."
1710
01:15:02,877 --> 01:15:04,421
-MOVSESIAN: It's almost over.
-I know.
1711
01:15:04,546 --> 01:15:08,591
People keep saying that, but that's
what they said to Anne Frank, you know?
1712
01:15:08,717 --> 01:15:10,677
MOVSESIAN: You did not just
compare yourself to Anne Frank.
1713
01:15:10,802 --> 01:15:12,387
-You didn't do that.
-We both took a stand.
1714
01:15:12,512 --> 01:15:15,223
My point is that I definitely
got signed up for too much.
1715
01:15:15,348 --> 01:15:16,307
I know.
1716
01:15:16,433 --> 01:15:19,352
And moving forward, you know,
there's a lot of not --
1717
01:15:19,477 --> 01:15:21,771
No one's thinking
about burning me out.
1718
01:15:21,896 --> 01:15:23,064
Nobody's thinking about it.
1719
01:15:23,189 --> 01:15:25,817
And when I burn out and everyone
doesn't have a job anymore,
1720
01:15:25,942 --> 01:15:27,485
they're gonna be pissed.
1721
01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:30,905
We have to be thinking about,
like, "Wait a minute. Really?
1722
01:15:31,031 --> 01:15:34,534
He's doing a whole day with Jack White
and he's doing Bonnaroo
1723
01:15:34,659 --> 01:15:36,911
and he's introducing all the acts
and he's gonna stay late
1724
01:15:37,037 --> 01:15:39,414
and introduce Jay-Z
and Stevie Wonder?"
1725
01:15:39,539 --> 01:15:41,332
Jim is informing me that, you know,
1726
01:15:41,458 --> 01:15:44,627
the festival would like more
than just a line or two.
1727
01:15:44,753 --> 01:15:46,755
Just -- that's been their take all along.
1728
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:49,507
I honestly -- I didn't even know
he was introducing
1729
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:51,426
until I e-mailed Jeff two days ago.
1730
01:15:51,551 --> 01:15:53,470
I thought he was introducing one act.
1731
01:15:53,595 --> 01:15:55,472
One act every three hours.
1732
01:15:55,597 --> 01:15:57,766
-Okay.
-I hate Jeff right now.
1733
01:15:57,974 --> 01:15:59,309
Let's start at the beginning.
1734
01:15:59,434 --> 01:16:01,144
We've got Nas and Goo Goo.
1735
01:16:01,269 --> 01:16:05,815
Let's start thinking of funny lines
for Nas and Goo Goo and how to do it,
1736
01:16:05,940 --> 01:16:07,317
and then we'll get through that.
1737
01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:09,944
Then it's on to the 55 other things
I have to introduce
1738
01:16:10,070 --> 01:16:13,406
that someone at WM E agreed to
that Jeff checked off on a box.
1739
01:16:13,573 --> 01:16:18,453
Do you like reggae
without all the drug-king violence?
1740
01:16:18,578 --> 01:16:21,122
You're in the right place.
1741
01:16:21,247 --> 01:16:23,416
There's been trouble
down in Sri Lanka.
1742
01:16:23,541 --> 01:16:24,751
[ Laughter ]
1743
01:16:24,876 --> 01:16:27,921
People told me when a comedian
comes out in front of a festival crowd,
1744
01:16:28,046 --> 01:16:30,423
he should keep it short
and get right to the music.
1745
01:16:30,548 --> 01:16:32,133
But I'm gonna go a different way.
1746
01:16:32,258 --> 01:16:33,885
[ Laughter ]
1747
01:16:34,010 --> 01:16:39,599
I'm about to do two hours
on the life of Bess Truman.
1748
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:42,310
Everyone have a seat.
This is gonna take a while.
1749
01:16:42,435 --> 01:16:43,311
No, I'm telling you,
1750
01:16:43,436 --> 01:16:45,605
all you got to do is say,
"Are you ready to rock?"
1751
01:16:45,730 --> 01:16:48,191
Or hip-hop or whatever the fuck it is.
1752
01:16:48,316 --> 01:16:50,360
[ Laughter ]
1753
01:16:50,485 --> 01:16:52,487
Here we go.
It's Nas and the Nozzles.
1754
01:16:52,612 --> 01:16:54,072
No, no, no,
we have some good stuff.
1755
01:16:54,197 --> 01:16:55,698
I do a whole thing
about Bess Truman.
1756
01:16:55,824 --> 01:16:58,618
-I'll find you later.
-Bess Truman?
1757
01:16:58,910 --> 01:17:00,036
Just listen.
1758
01:17:00,161 --> 01:17:01,621
All right, this is embarrassing,
1759
01:17:01,746 --> 01:17:04,791
but someone's gonna have to help me
write these names on my hand.
1760
01:17:04,916 --> 01:17:07,836
'Cause I'm telling you, I'll get out there,
and my life is so fucking crazy,
1761
01:17:07,961 --> 01:17:09,712
that's all I need
in front of 70,000 people
1762
01:17:09,838 --> 01:17:11,381
is to forget Nas and Jojo.
1763
01:17:11,506 --> 01:17:12,882
Just put N-O-Z-Z.
1764
01:17:13,091 --> 01:17:14,592
Are you guys ready to rock?
1765
01:17:14,717 --> 01:17:16,177
ALL:
Yeah!
1766
01:17:16,302 --> 01:17:18,221
Okay, that's nice,
but not quite accurate.
1767
01:17:18,346 --> 01:17:20,932
Are we ready to reggae?
1768
01:17:21,141 --> 01:17:23,351
[ Cheers and applause ]
1769
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:24,686
Are you ready to --
and hip-hop.
1770
01:17:24,811 --> 01:17:25,937
Yeah, and hip-hop.
1771
01:17:26,062 --> 01:17:29,399
Are you ready to get your freak on
in 95% humidity?
1772
01:17:29,524 --> 01:17:31,067
[ Cheers and applause ]
1773
01:17:31,276 --> 01:17:33,444
Yeah! We be jammin'.
1774
01:17:33,653 --> 01:17:37,574
Ladies and gentlemen,
Damian Marley.
1775
01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:39,742
And Nas!
1776
01:17:39,951 --> 01:17:42,704
[ Cheers and applause ]
1777
01:17:43,997 --> 01:17:46,082
[ Light cheering ]
1778
01:17:48,710 --> 01:17:51,087
How are you?
How do you do?
1779
01:17:51,504 --> 01:17:53,464
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
1780
01:17:53,673 --> 01:17:55,717
[ Cheers and applause ]
1781
01:17:56,551 --> 01:17:58,303
I do, too. I do, too.
1782
01:17:58,428 --> 01:17:59,888
Sona?
1783
01:18:02,599 --> 01:18:04,475
-Why?
-Because it's a habit.
1784
01:18:04,642 --> 01:18:06,561
-And sometimes --
-It's all good. It's all good.
1785
01:18:06,686 --> 01:18:07,896
I'm cool.
1786
01:18:08,021 --> 01:18:11,774
I'm not doing it out of nervousness,
'cause I have complete faith in you.
1787
01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:13,151
Are you ready to rock?
1788
01:18:13,276 --> 01:18:14,777
[ Cheers and applause ]
1789
01:18:14,903 --> 01:18:17,363
Are you ready to laugh?
1790
01:18:18,573 --> 01:18:21,117
Well, gentlemen,
good luck to both of you.
1791
01:18:21,242 --> 01:18:25,330
Are you ready to rock and laugh
but first urinate?
1792
01:18:25,455 --> 01:18:26,623
[ Cheers and applause ]
1793
01:18:26,748 --> 01:18:28,833
Who's urinating now?
1794
01:18:28,958 --> 01:18:30,585
[ Cheers and applause ]
1795
01:18:30,710 --> 01:18:35,715
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Tenacious D!
1796
01:18:36,174 --> 01:18:38,801
[ Cheers and applause ]
1797
01:18:43,348 --> 01:18:45,892
You have 40,000 people
in the palm of your hand.
1798
01:18:46,059 --> 01:18:50,396
It was like seeing Hitler up there,
but like a nicer version.
1799
01:18:52,232 --> 01:18:57,195
In just a couple of minutes
is the great Stevie Wonder!
1800
01:18:57,320 --> 01:18:59,447
[ Cheers and applause ]
1801
01:19:03,034 --> 01:19:05,370
Hi. Damian Marley, please.
Thank you.
1802
01:19:05,495 --> 01:19:07,247
[ Laughs ]
1803
01:19:07,372 --> 01:19:10,458
Hey. Yeah.
I was just talking to Nas.
1804
01:19:10,583 --> 01:19:13,211
That's right.
What are you guys doing?
1805
01:19:13,503 --> 01:19:15,838
WOMAN: For take-off and landing,
I need everybody's seatbelt on,
1806
01:19:15,964 --> 01:19:19,634
shoulder harness attached,
seats upright position,
1807
01:19:19,759 --> 01:19:24,180
tables stowed, items stowed,
electronic devices turned off and stowed.
1808
01:19:24,305 --> 01:19:26,182
Cabin's pressurized
for your comfort.
1809
01:19:26,307 --> 01:19:28,393
If there's a change of pressure,
masks will drop.
1810
01:19:28,518 --> 01:19:31,854
If they ever do drop, just pull
so that piece is engaged
1811
01:19:31,980 --> 01:19:34,482
and put that mask
over your nose and mouth.
1812
01:19:34,857 --> 01:19:37,652
Two fire extinguishers on board.
They're both up front.
1813
01:19:37,777 --> 01:19:39,654
One's behind the captain
on the bulkhead,
1814
01:19:39,779 --> 01:19:41,406
and the other's
by that main cabin door --
1815
01:19:41,531 --> 01:19:43,408
Which part's the bulkhead?
1816
01:19:43,658 --> 01:19:46,452
Okay. Thank you very much.
I introduced Nas. What's that?
1817
01:19:46,577 --> 01:19:48,496
Damian Marley. Okay.
1818
01:19:48,621 --> 01:19:51,708
I introduced them both.
I know Nas.
1819
01:19:51,833 --> 01:19:53,543
All right.
Thank you.
1820
01:19:53,668 --> 01:19:55,253
Nom, nom, nom.
1821
01:19:55,378 --> 01:19:56,921
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
1822
01:19:57,046 --> 01:19:58,756
Okay.
1823
01:19:59,382 --> 01:20:00,591
Oh, my God.
1824
01:20:00,717 --> 01:20:03,511
-Oh, come on.
-I know Nas.
1825
01:20:03,636 --> 01:20:05,638
I introduced Damian Marley and Nas.
1826
01:20:06,139 --> 01:20:08,308
Hey, did you guys see me
introduce Damian Marley and Nas?
1827
01:20:08,433 --> 01:20:09,267
[ Sona laughs ]
1828
01:20:09,392 --> 01:20:11,686
Gus, did you see that?
Hey, Jeff?
1829
01:20:11,811 --> 01:20:13,938
Did you know that I introduced
Damian Marley and Nas?
1830
01:20:14,063 --> 01:20:15,273
-ROSS: I did know.
-Okay.
1831
01:20:15,481 --> 01:20:17,108
-Hey, Andy?
-RICHTER: What?
1832
01:20:17,233 --> 01:20:19,569
Did you know that I introduced
Damian Marley and Nas?
1833
01:20:19,694 --> 01:20:21,946
-Yeah, I did. I heard that.
-Okay, cool.
1834
01:20:22,071 --> 01:20:24,407
RICHTER:
That's awesome for you.
1835
01:20:24,532 --> 01:20:27,160
♪ I just can't wait to get
on the road again ♪
1836
01:20:28,244 --> 01:20:30,079
♪ Wa-ooh ♪
1837
01:20:30,830 --> 01:20:35,126
♪ The life I love
is making music with my friends ♪
1838
01:20:35,251 --> 01:20:38,212
♪ I can't wait to get
on the road again ♪
1839
01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:40,882
♪ My own show again ♪
1840
01:20:41,841 --> 01:20:45,678
♪ I just can't wait to get
my own show again ♪
1841
01:20:45,803 --> 01:20:47,221
♪ Wa-ooh ♪
1842
01:20:47,347 --> 01:20:51,059
♪ I'd even take a crappy
primetime show at 10:00 ♪
1843
01:20:51,392 --> 01:20:53,144
♪ On the road again ♪
1844
01:20:53,269 --> 01:20:56,230
♪ The kind with makeup,
lights, and cameramen ♪
1845
01:20:56,356 --> 01:20:57,648
♪ On the road again ♪
1846
01:20:57,774 --> 01:21:01,861
♪ 'Cause I'd really like
to talk to Megan Fox again ♪
1847
01:21:01,986 --> 01:21:04,322
♪ Megan Fox again ♪
1848
01:21:04,655 --> 01:21:06,699
Wow, there's a traffic jam.
1849
01:21:06,866 --> 01:21:08,868
We got to get out and walk.
1850
01:21:09,035 --> 01:21:10,620
I'm ready.
1851
01:21:10,745 --> 01:21:12,663
[ Yawns ]
1852
01:21:12,789 --> 01:21:14,248
It's been a long day.
1853
01:21:14,415 --> 01:21:15,875
Oh, hi. Is this Nas?
1854
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,585
Hey, it's Conan.
1855
01:21:17,710 --> 01:21:19,420
-I'm cool.
-"I'm cool."
1856
01:21:19,545 --> 01:21:20,963
-I'm glad you liked it.
-Dude, what'd he ask?
1857
01:21:21,089 --> 01:21:22,965
Are you cool or are you uncool?
1858
01:21:23,091 --> 01:21:26,302
So, Conan,
who's your hip-hop heroes?
1859
01:21:26,427 --> 01:21:28,346
-Well, I guess it would be Nas.
-Yeah.
1860
01:21:28,471 --> 01:21:30,014
And if it was reggae,
it would be Damian Marley.
1861
01:21:30,139 --> 01:21:30,848
Yeah.
1862
01:21:30,973 --> 01:21:32,141
I should probably go pretty soon.
1863
01:21:32,266 --> 01:21:33,476
-But anyway...
-All right.
1864
01:21:33,601 --> 01:21:35,353
Well, keep it hip-hop,
then, Conan.
1865
01:21:35,478 --> 01:21:37,146
Listen, I'll tell you
something, my friend.
1866
01:21:37,271 --> 01:21:39,899
A-rap-rap ribbety-rap,
a-rap-rap rabbity rat.
1867
01:21:40,024 --> 01:21:43,152
I said, rap-rap ribbety-rap, rap-rap.
I said, a-rap-rap ribbety-rap.
1868
01:21:43,277 --> 01:21:47,407
O'BRIEN: It's got to stop, you know,
'cause it's -- it's very Peter Pan, you know?
1869
01:21:47,615 --> 01:21:50,743
It's very, "I'll never grow up,"
you know what I mean?
1870
01:21:50,910 --> 01:21:53,788
I'll just jump around
in the Eddie Murphy "Raw" suit forever.
1871
01:21:53,913 --> 01:21:58,167
This is the most satisfying thing
I've ever done in show business.
1872
01:21:58,376 --> 01:22:00,086
And I've been in show business
since 1985,
1873
01:22:00,211 --> 01:22:03,714
and this is the purest hit
of excitement and adrenaline
1874
01:22:03,840 --> 01:22:06,843
and everything that I love
about show business, but...
1875
01:22:09,679 --> 01:22:12,056
One can see the sickness of it, too.
1876
01:22:12,265 --> 01:22:16,102
If I was away all the time --
I mean, I haven't seen my kids in --
1877
01:22:16,227 --> 01:22:18,980
It's this weird problem
where I absolutely love this
1878
01:22:19,105 --> 01:22:21,899
and I also understand that
this needs to stop pretty soon.
1879
01:22:22,066 --> 01:22:24,694
[ Intro to "The Weight" plays ]
1880
01:22:31,576 --> 01:22:33,327
♪ I pulled into Nazareth ♪
1881
01:22:33,453 --> 01:22:37,081
♪ I was feelin'
about half past dead ♪
1882
01:22:37,248 --> 01:22:39,041
♪ I just need some place ♪
1883
01:22:39,167 --> 01:22:42,712
♪ Where I can lay my head ♪
1884
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:46,924
♪ "Hey, mister, can you tell me
where a man might find a bed?" ♪
1885
01:22:48,801 --> 01:22:50,553
♪ He just grinned
and shook my hand ♪
1886
01:22:50,678 --> 01:22:52,930
♪ And "No" was all he said ♪
1887
01:22:54,515 --> 01:22:56,851
♪ Take a load off, Annie ♪
1888
01:22:57,268 --> 01:22:59,312
♪ Take a load for free ♪
1889
01:22:59,854 --> 01:23:02,064
♪ Take a load off, Annie ♪
1890
01:23:03,274 --> 01:23:05,359
♪ And ♪
1891
01:23:05,485 --> 01:23:08,196
♪ You put the load,
put the load right on me ♪
1892
01:23:08,488 --> 01:23:14,452
It's a really exhilarating, therapeutic, ecstatic,
crazy thing to do for any period of time.
1893
01:23:14,660 --> 01:23:16,287
There's, like, an elation to this, you know,
1894
01:23:16,496 --> 01:23:19,207
which is coming out of
the utter despair of what happened.
1895
01:23:19,665 --> 01:23:21,042
Good night, everybody!
1896
01:23:21,167 --> 01:23:23,294
[ Cheers and applause ]
1897
01:23:26,547 --> 01:23:28,257
-Congratulations.
-Yeah, you, too.
1898
01:23:28,382 --> 01:23:30,259
-Thanks for doing this with me.
-Just doing what you love.
1899
01:23:30,384 --> 01:23:32,386
-Thank you for asking me.
-Oh, Jesus Christ, are you kidding?
1900
01:23:32,512 --> 01:23:35,056
It's been the best -- uh, the best
summer camp I've ever been to.
1901
01:23:35,181 --> 01:23:35,973
I know. It was crazy.
1902
01:23:36,098 --> 01:23:37,850
I don't know what this was
that just happened.
1903
01:23:37,975 --> 01:23:41,103
This is a special thing.
It's chocolate cake.
1904
01:23:41,229 --> 01:23:43,481
You don't want to make it
every meal, you know?
1905
01:23:43,606 --> 01:23:45,650
Hey, you eat chocolate cake every meal.
1906
01:23:45,775 --> 01:23:47,026
[ Laughs ]
1907
01:23:47,151 --> 01:23:48,194
Yeah.
1908
01:23:48,444 --> 01:23:49,779
You did --
you did a great, great job.
1909
01:23:49,904 --> 01:23:50,905
So did you.
1910
01:23:51,030 --> 01:23:53,366
You did a great job.
You should be very proud.
1911
01:23:53,491 --> 01:23:56,619
You did great.
You really helped me.
1912
01:23:59,372 --> 01:24:01,332
See that? I'm crying.
1913
01:24:01,457 --> 01:24:03,876
Does it look like I'm crying?
1914
01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:11,592
O'BRIEN: My whole career has been
trying to get closer and closer and closer
1915
01:24:11,717 --> 01:24:14,512
to the real gritty core of show business.
1916
01:24:14,637 --> 01:24:17,348
You know, I used to have these gigs
where I was in a bungalow with --
1917
01:24:17,473 --> 01:24:18,891
thinking of concepts.
1918
01:24:19,016 --> 01:24:21,394
I kept thinking, "This isn't it, this isn't it,
this isn't it, this isn't it."
1919
01:24:21,602 --> 01:24:22,853
"Saturday Night Live"
felt much closer.
1920
01:24:22,979 --> 01:24:24,480
"The Late Night Show"
felt much closer
1921
01:24:24,605 --> 01:24:28,067
'cause there's people
in the hallway in horse costumes.
1922
01:24:32,947 --> 01:24:37,535
This thing -- anyone who knows me
who watches this says,
1923
01:24:38,035 --> 01:24:41,789
"Now that's just raw you."
1924
01:24:41,914 --> 01:24:43,249
[ Cheering ]
1925
01:24:43,708 --> 01:24:45,126
[ Cheers and applause ]
1926
01:24:47,712 --> 01:24:50,089
Whoo!
1927
01:24:53,551 --> 01:24:55,261
Conan!
1928
01:24:55,469 --> 01:24:58,097
[ Indistinct conversations ]
1929
01:24:59,557 --> 01:25:03,102
I need to go home and, like, drive my kids
to school, do you know what I mean?
1930
01:25:05,938 --> 01:25:07,815
Or have my agent
drive them to school.
1931
01:25:10,776 --> 01:25:13,738
[ Cheers and applause ]
1932
01:25:29,420 --> 01:25:31,088
♪ Runnin' to-and-fro,
hard workin' at the mill ♪
1933
01:25:31,213 --> 01:25:33,215
♪ Never fail in the mail,
yeah, come a rotten bill ♪
1934
01:25:33,424 --> 01:25:36,552
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1935
01:25:36,677 --> 01:25:39,513
♪ Too much monkey business
for me to be involved in ♪
1936
01:25:40,348 --> 01:25:41,974
♪ Salesman talkin' to me,
tryin' to run me up a creek ♪
1937
01:25:42,099 --> 01:25:44,143
♪ Say, "You can buy, Go on an' try it,
you can pay me next week, baby" ♪
1938
01:25:44,393 --> 01:25:48,022
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1939
01:25:48,189 --> 01:25:50,441
♪ Too much monkey business
for me to be involved in ♪
1940
01:25:51,317 --> 01:25:52,943
♪ Blond hair, good lookin',
tryin' to get me hooked ♪
1941
01:25:53,069 --> 01:25:55,154
♪ Want me to marry, settle down,
and write a book, baby ♪
1942
01:25:55,279 --> 01:25:58,449
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1943
01:25:58,574 --> 01:26:00,618
♪ Too much monkey business
for me to be involved in ♪
1944
01:26:02,286 --> 01:26:03,954
♪ Same thing every day,
gettin' up, goin' to school ♪
1945
01:26:04,080 --> 01:26:05,998
♪ No need of me to complainin',
my objections overruled, baby ♪
1946
01:26:06,207 --> 01:26:09,460
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1947
01:26:09,627 --> 01:26:12,505
♪ Too much monkey business
for me to be involved in ♪
1948
01:26:13,214 --> 01:26:14,924
♪ Pay phone, somethin' wrong,
dime gone, will mail ♪
1949
01:26:15,049 --> 01:26:16,842
♪ Ought to sue the operator
for tellin' me a tale, baby ♪
1950
01:26:17,051 --> 01:26:20,763
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1951
01:26:20,971 --> 01:26:22,223
♪ Too much monkey business... ♪
1952
01:26:22,348 --> 01:26:23,724
Come on, baby, go, go!
1953
01:26:23,849 --> 01:26:28,396
[ Guitar solo ]
1954
01:26:35,236 --> 01:26:36,612
♪ Been to Yokohama
and I've been fightin' in the war ♪
1955
01:26:36,737 --> 01:26:38,739
♪ Army bunk, Army chow,
Army clothes, Army car, baby ♪
1956
01:26:38,948 --> 01:26:41,951
♪ Too much monkey business,
too much monkey business ♪
1957
01:26:42,076 --> 01:26:45,246
♪ Don't need your botheration,
leave me here ♪
1958
01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:48,290
♪ Don't need your botheration,
leave me ♪
1959
01:26:52,503 --> 01:26:54,088
[ Cheers and applause ]
1960
01:26:54,213 --> 01:26:55,297
[ Music stops ]
1961
01:26:55,548 --> 01:26:57,675
[ Playing "7 Nation Army" ]
1962
01:26:57,800 --> 01:26:59,593
[ Cheers and applause ]
141643
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