All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S03E14 The My Friend, the Gorilla Affair

How much further is it?

Not too far.

- I thought you said they were friendly.
- They are.

Well, I never had quite such an
aggressive welcoming committee before.

Well, they have good
reason to be frightened.

- Yeah, but not of us.
- They don't know that yet.

Well, at least they
recognize that, Prince Khufu.

Um, what is it?

It's my seal of office.

And it's President
Khufu now, Mr. Kuryakin.

In time, my people will
learn what that means.

This is the man.

Can you hear me?

Where did they take you?

No man run fast like
antelope, jump four-man high.

Just him.

Where?

What did he say?

They held him captive at the
graveyard of the elephants.

The graveyard of the elephants?

My people believe that there
is only one place in all Africa...

where elephants go to die.

Well, forgive me, but
isn't that just a myth?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

No one has ever seen it.

Well, the only one that would
know would be an elephant.

Run fast, jump high.
What did he mean by that?

That's what I wanted you
to hear from one of them.

Surrender or die?

Uh, we accept your terms.

I must say, I'd feel a bit more
comfortable about all this...

if my destination were
at least on the globe.

Oh, the place is
there all right, Mr. Solo.

The trouble is the map makers
are having a difficult time...

keeping pace with the
proliferation of emerging countries.

I trust you've completed
your jungle briefing.

Mm-hm.

We have a Professor Kenton
who has a serum that he insists...

when injected into normal human beings,
causes them to become superior men...

with incredible
physical prowess.

Yes, that work earned him
the chair of biochemistry.

Mm-hm. Which he promptly lost when
he was caught using human beings...

as guinea pigs.

Quite so. But that
was three years ago.

And Kenton disappeared,
leaving no trace...

until Prince Khufu became
the first president of his country.

So you think it was Professor
Kenton who offered Khufu the serum...

to make his people
invincible, huh?

Oh, yes. Needless to say,
Khufu turned him down.

Aah.

That's when the raids began.

If those mass kidnappings are
meant to provide human material...

for Kenton's super army, the
ramifications could be truly disastrous.

What was that?

- Yellow fever.
- Mm.

You have any proof of all this?

There was just one man who
managed to escape Kenton's clutches.

When we last heard from Mr. Kuryakin,
he and Khufu were on their way...

to question the man.

Aah. Then exit Mr. Kuryakin.

And President Khufu.

Uh...

Elephantiasis.

- How many more?
- You've had, um, cholera.

Dysentery, yellow
fever, elephantiasis...

dengue and malaria.

Uh, so you get three more.

Jungle rot, uh, tsetse fly...

and, uh, athlete's foot.

It's for your own
protection, my dear fellow.

We want to make you
immune to everything in Africa...

except perhaps a flat tire.

Open Channel D.

Yes, Mr. Solo?

You know, after
taking all those shots...

you'll never guess
what I just caught.

Look out.

Aah!

- Khufu.
- Save yourself. Quick.

Well, Arunda, did you give Napoleon
Solo a proper African welcome?

Truly an explosive one.

And the others?

But what about the
one called Kuryakin?

Ah, ask the crocodile.

Good lad.

No. I rejected
your offer before.

I have not changed.

Pity.

- Now I'll just have to go it alone.
- You will be stopped.

I forgot.

Uh, you think that
help is on its way?

- It is.
- It was.

Unfortunately, the latest recent arrival
is now part of the African landscape.

My people are
loyal. They will fight.

Do you want them all to die?

Only you can prevent
useless bloodshed.

Nothing will change my mind.

Would you rather see them dead?

Khufu, your people
will listen to you.

Have them submit to my formula.

Why be a prince in your own country
when together, we can rule all Africa?

I am now president of my
country. That is sufficient for me.

Khufu, cooperate with me...

and I will make you king...

of this great continent.

You're wasting
your time, professor.

Well, give it some thought.

With what little
time you have left.

Thank you.

My compliments to
your dress designer.

Me, Girl.

Me, Napoleon Solo.

Me, Girl.

Well, I'm inclined
to agree with you.

Uh...

Anyway, uh, thank you.

Baby.

You watch.

Help!

Hey!

Ow.

Well, I didn't shave
this morning either.

Well, I hate to sleep and run...

I'll, uh, see you around.

Major Blackburn, could
you help me with this?

Why don't you read
the instructions?

I did and I don't under...
- Help!

- What was that?
- What was what?

I just thought I
heard something.

Help!

That's Africa, my dear.

Boy, bring my elephant gun.

Hey! Hey, hey!

Hey, you, you down
there, how about...?

It's a man.

Boy, cut him down.

What are you doing up there?

I'm knitting a sweater.

Thank you again.

Nice Baby.

- You no like?
- No, I love animals.

Uh, your friend and I were
just getting to know each other.

- Me, Girl.
- Uh-huh.

Well, me, Solo.

So long. Nice house here.

Ow.

Well, listen, uh... Heh.

I mean, I'm not all
bad. Uh, I'm good.

Uh, I think you've got me
mixed up with someone else.

Me, Solo.

From United States.

United States?

Bad.

It's 5:00.

How can they grant
independence to people...

who don't know
when it's time for tea?

I didn't know that
was a prerequisite.

What, are you some
sort of radical, my dear?

- Thank you.
- That's okay.

But you owe me an
hour's worth of pictures.

Well, now that you're
freshened up, Mr. Kuryakin...

can you tell me what
you're doing here?

I was about to ask
you the same question.

We're on a safari. - I gathered.

Oh, none for me, please.

I've got to look at the
rhino I shot yesterday.

Uh, you shot a rhinoceros?

Mm-hm. Wanna help
me develop the film?

You run along, my dear,
Mr. Kuryakin and I will enjoy our tea.

Okay, but they'll
be ready by dinner.

She has all the
ingredients of being a lady...

but unfortunately, she
keeps them well-hidden.

Uh, is, uh, she,
um, your, uh...?

I never saw her
before this trip.

She was looking for
someone going southeast.

I happened to be
going in that direction.

You were about to tell me what
you're doing out here, Mr. Kuryakin.

Well, I got tied in
with the wrong people.

Well, we didn't agree on
anything, and so I, uh... I left them.

You chose an odd
place to separate.

I prefer a clean break.

Watusi?

Watusi.

Watusi.

Ah, Watusi.

- Watusi.
- Watusi.

Watusi?

No. Monkey.

For a big gorilla, he's
got at least a light foot.

Uh, later.

Are you, uh, on
a hunting safari?

No, this is a
trading expedition.

What do you trade in?

- I import ivory.
- To England?

No, to Africa. More tea?

No, thank you.
Uh, you import Af...

African ivory to Africa?

Isn't that rather like
importing coal to Newcastle?

- Enterprising, isn't it?
- Frankly, no.

No, there are still lots of places
out here where elephant tusks...

are considered
to be legal tender.

As a matter of fact, I have someone
who will buy all the ivory I can bring him.

- Really?
- More tea?

No, thank you, I...

Professor.

Oh, yes, Arunda?

We out of the ivory.

Don't worry about that, Arunda.

Major Blackburn will bring all
that's necessary for the next batch.

Uh-huh.

But, uh, thank you
for your concern.

You call these poor
devils your super warriors?

Only the first stage, my friend.

They are but empty
vessels waiting to be filled.

Physical power commences
with the second shot, the booster.

Come, let's go to your quarters.

Here we are.

It's not pretentious,
but it is private.

I would rather be
with my people.

Oh, how would that look?

My future king sitting among
the masses behind barbed wire?

- Oh, no.
- You're not a very good listener.

My answer was no.

Oh, for the present, yes.

But you will change your mind after you
see the results of the second injection.

The muscle booster.

You will. Ha, ha. Bye.

My friend.

See him?

See.

Hm. Hm.

Mm, mm.

Huh.

Him?

- Bad.
- Bad?

Ah. "To my friend,
Girl. Prince Khufu."

Khufu.

Bad. You take Khufu.

No, no, uh, uh...

You, Khufu.

You, Khufu.

Hm. Hm.

Uh...

Oh!

Ha! Ho!

Understand?

- You, Solo.
- Right.

- Girl.
- Right.

- Khufu.
- Hey!

You, Solo.

- You, Girl. Right.
- Me, Girl.

- Khufu.
- Khufu, right.

Baby, stay.

Go.

Hi, there.

I thought you were
developing a rhinoceros.

Well, uh, I saw an anthill,
and I thought I would shoot it...

if there was enough
available light this time of night.

Who are you, really?

Fugitive from justice?

Uh, crawling around like
that could be dangerous.

What's so dangerous about ants?

I got it.

You're a desperate adventurer
looking for King Solomon's mines, right?

An unfrocked missionary?

Supposing those ants
had snakes for neighbors?

I'd put this down
before I started shooting.

It's a mating scent.

If there are snakes around,
they go to where I spread it.

Neat, isn't it?

I've got it. You're
a secret agent.

Right.

Where does, uh, one
obtain snake mating scent?

In a mail-order catalogue. I
wouldn't come to Africa unprepared.

Mm. Why did you
come in the first place?

Have you ever heard
of a Dr. Amos Woodley?

- Woodley?
- Mm.

He was my father.

He came here on some scientific
thing about 17 years ago...

with my sister and my mother.

My father flew his own
plane. They crashed.

I'm sorry.

We thought they were all dead.

And then a missionary came
back with this fantastic story...

about some girl
being raised by apes.

And you think that
she is your sister?

Who knows?

What do you know
about Major Blackburn?

But harmless.

What's that?

Blond.

Male.

No, male.

Name of Kuryakin.

Oh, that's dinner. I
better get cleaned up.

Don't move.

Just freeze as you are.

You should have ordered some
of that mating scent for spiders.

This elephant has
a rather bad cavity.

A phony elephant tusk?

Yeah, about as phony
as importing ivory to Africa.

But Major Blackburn
seems like such a nice man.

Why would he lie?

It's the, uh, nice ones
you have to watch.

Ku-ry-akin.

You told me he was dead.

Ah, Hogan reported
a crocodile ate him.

That's what you get
for delegating authority.

Have him tell Blackburn to get rid of him,
and I don't want any mistakes this time.

- The queen.
- The queen.

- Mm.
- It's a good wine.

You are a student of the grape?

Not really, but I
know what I like.

- Cigar?
- Uh, no, thank you.

- Dear?
- Uh, no.

You seem to be worried
about something, Mr. Kuryakin.

Something about those drums.

Yeah, they're getting to me too.

Whoever it is, blows
a pretty good bongo.

I think I'm getting the message.

You speak Swahili drum-talk?

No, that's one
language I've missed.

Then allow me to help you.

The drums say, "Blackburn,
beware of strangers."

Really?

Then we'd better
watch out for them.

Just one. He's blond and
answers to the name of Kuryakin.

What are they doing?

They're putting up stakes.

For you and me?

Good morning.

You picked a
beautiful day to die.

I understand you're both
interested in red ants.

I'm gonna give you an opportunity
to study them at close range.

Solo.

Khufu.

If the boys at headquarters
could see me now...

they'd think I was
losing my grip.

Again.

Exciting news, Mr. Waverly.

We finally managed to pick
up a signal on Channel D.

That is exciting news, indeed.

Who is it, Mr. Solo
or Mr. Kuryakin?

Well, neither, sir,
but it is Channel D.

Well, didn't you have the
language computer identify this stuff?

Um, yes, sir.

Well, what is he saying?

Well, it's the chant of
an African witch doctor.

Well, since you're gonna
miss your own performance...

you're entitled to a preview.

This is an ordinary
turkey drumstick.

Normally, it takes the
ants an hour to devour it.

When I add the
magic ingredient...

Honey.

Observe.

You get the idea?

You're a beastly old man.

Now, now, now, young lady.
Language, language, language.

And you said he was
square but harmless.

Do you mind if I,
uh, borrow this?

Thank you.

This is, uh, Kuryakin
here. Open Channel D.

Please do not respond.

When I count to three, I would
appreciate it if you would, uh...

produce the most frightening
sound that you can think of...

to, uh, impress my friend,
the witch doctor here.

One.

Two.

Three.

- Thank you, sir.
- You're welcome, Mr. Kuryakin.

Is Mr. Solo with you?

Napoleon? I didn't
know that he was here.

Where are you?

I'm on the way to the elephant
graveyard, and in a great hurry.

They may want some more
magic, and I'm running out of magic.

I'll keep you informed.

Now listen, you two,
you can't leave me here.

Where's your sense of propriety?

Besides, you can't leave me
here with all these savages.

How would you find the
elephants' graveyard, huh?

Oh.

He's right. How will you
find the elephants' graveyard?

Simple, find a dying
elephant and follow him.

No, Arunda.

Please excuse the
rough treatment.

Arunda didn't realize
you were special guests.

Like Khufu and Kuryakin?

Oh, yes.

Khufu is staying with us here.

But poor Mr. Kuryakin met an
untimely accident on the way.

Where did you pick up this creature?
Or is she also an U.N.C.L.E. agent too?

Just let her go, she had
nothing to do with this.

On the contrary.

Up until now, I've only
experimented on male specimen.

But it seems that we have...

a perfect potential
superwoman here.

Woman will be the last
animal civilized by man.

Throw her in a cage
where she belongs.

Oh.

Not you, Mr. Solo.

We have something to discuss.

I can't wait.

Now, I hope you have vision
enough to picture an entire army...

of men like Arunda here.

Obeying my every command
like a pack of trained hounds.

It sounds impressive if you're deciding
to declare war on the Kennel Club.

You're trying to irritate me.

Which is not very wise
for a man in your position.

What is my position?

Your position could
be a very nice position.

I need leaders in
my invincible army.

How would you
like to be a general?

In exchange for what?

Khufu's cooperation.

What more can a man need?

I've offered to make
him king of all Africa.

And all I ask in return is that he force
his subjects to submit to my experiments.

He refused.

And you want me to
make him change his mind.

You're very perceptive.

I like that.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Don't be too hasty
in turning me down.

Take some time to
give it a little thought.

Throw him in with the rest.

See?

And me without a camera.

Come on, let's go
before we lose him.

How do you lose an elephant?

Comfortable, I trust?

Always grateful for a
roof over our heads.

Well, Mr. Solo, have you decided
to help Khufu change his mind...

and cooperate?

He will not succeed.

I wouldn't try.

Well, Mr. Solo, I decided to
give you an added incentive.

My guards will stage a
spear-throwing contest...

and you will participate.

Mm. Well, you're going
to be very disappointed.

I never made the
javelin team, you know.

Oh. Ha, ha. No. You
won't be throwing.

The guards seem to find a live
moving target very entertaining.

And unless you manage
to help Khufu dec...

I'm it.

Bravo, exactly, yes.

Very good.

You're a brave man, Mr. Solo.

Hold a good thought.

We may need it later.

- Our guide has company.
- What does that mean?

It means that we're close.

Very close.

Napoleon.

Mr. Kuryakin, I presume.

Who is that?

Her name is Girl.

- Huh?
- Well, she lives in a tree.

Rebecca?

You know her?

Yeah, well, Marsha here
thinks that Girl is her sister.

She is my sister.
That mole on her face.

Now, this is a very touching reunion,
but that's not gonna help us get out.

How did you find this place?

We followed a dying elephant.

There's a whole
herd of them outside.

Really?

Uh, you can talk gorilla.

Can you talk to elephant?

- Elephant?
- Elephant.

Ah.

What's that?

Ah, it's that savage woman.

Well, turn her
off, and get Solo.

Very good, Imbala.

Very good. It couldn't have
been more than half an inch.

Ha, very good, marvelous.

Wait, wait.

Professor, professor.

Ah, it's about time.
Where have you been?

Arunda, take him away.

Where is the ivory?

- I'd traded it to the natives.
- You what?

I had to, it was either
the chemicals or me.

You fool.

As usual, you made
the wrong choice.

Now, now, don't be
hasty. We can get it back.

You have Kuryakin. The natives
think he's some sort of god.

He'll get it back for you.

Very well, major.

We'll see if you're more
successful with that Kuryakin...

than I was with
that U.N.C.L.E. man.

Arunda, remove this blight.

- Major, my drink.
- Oh, yes, of course.

Well, I see you've been drummed
out of the professor's service too.

Mr. Kuryakin, listen to me.

I'm old, and you're young.

The professor, he'll kill me if
he doesn't get the ivory back.

You can help your friends too.

The natives think you're
a god. Use your influence.

I'm sorry, major, no deal.

You'll just have to take
potluck with the rest of us.

And you can start by
untying these ropes.

Yeah, when the
guard's not looking.

I'm afraid Rebecca does not speak
the same language as the elephants.

Uh, how is it you
didn't have any...

of those extraordinary
escape devices on you, huh?

- How many do you have?
- I've nothing except:

Would you settle for a gorilla?

Baby.

Stop!

I think we've got a winner.

You haven't seen the
other fellow in action yet.

- See?
- Well...

Just goes to show you, you
shouldn't pin all your hopes on a gorilla.

Well, gentlemen, do you now question
the effectiveness of my discovery, hm?

The elephants.

Too bad you can't carry
Girl around with you.

Elephants?

My lab.

What are you doing?

My work.

My life.

He who defies nature
destroyed by nature.

Some people just won't listen to
reason until an elephant falls on them.

Come on.

Huh, you like?

Um, well, frankly, I think the
other dress had a lot more to say.

You no like?

Oh, Solo like very much, very
much, whatever the wrapping.

Come on.

We have a long way to travel.

Oh, uh...

I say, old boy, did you
save a place for me?

I'm sorry, major, but
this safari is all booked.

But you're not going to
leave me here all alone?

Well, you have Baby
to keep you company.

In time, he may
learn to serve tea.

Goodbye, my friends.

Well, we may as well
start training right away.

Tea will be served
every afternoon at 5:00.

I wonder if he'd know anyone
interested in plastic ivory.