All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S03E04 The Super-Colossal Affair

It is not the money.

No, even a few millions
would not disturb me.

But it's the ingratitude.

The ingratitude that
cuts into the heart.

Is that not so...

Mr. Cariago?

Yes, Uncle Giuliano.
It's a bad business.

Heh, heh. Bad
indeed. Bad indeed.

It is a sad lesson for the
whole family, my friends.

Twenty years ago...

we invested a small fortune...

No, it was large fortune.

In a miserable pile of
sand in the American desert.

Now, we turned that pile of sand
into the largest gambling spot...

in the whole world.

What do we get
back for it in return?

- Mr. Cariago?
- Well, you see, uncle...

Disrespect, disloyalty, and
then we get dispossessed.

That's what we get in return.

Suddenly, the whole
town goes legitimate.

We can't collect our
family taxes anymore.

Ah, yes, it's the old story.

A child grows into
manhood, becomes rich.

Heh. And hides his
parents in a closet...

ashamed to acknowledge
them in public.

It's a sad thing, is
it not, Mr. Cariago?

Yes, Uncle
Giuliano. It's very sad.

But what is even sadder,
the seeds of ingratitude...

flourished in your backyard.

Yes, sir, I know.

The problem will be
taken care of pretty soon.

Oh, pretty soon.

Is this the same pretty soon
you promised a month ago...

or is it a different
kind of pretty soon?

But, Uncle Giuliano,
you know only last week...

I... I sent a dozen
men in there.

All I got to show for
it is a dozen funerals.

A dozen funerals, huh?

Well, my dear nephew,
we'll give you another week.

And I sincerely hope, for
your sake, that you succeed.

Otherwise, your own funeral
will make it a baker's dozen.

And 13 is such an
unlucky number.

You looking for termites?

Or maybe you're selling
magazine subscriptions.

No, I'm just a little
old winemaker.

Napoleon!

Hyah!

Hey!

What's the matter with you?
You think you own the road?

Unfortunately, what
you didn't learn...

was what really was the
crucial point of the conference.

The international crime syndicate
must have had pressing reasons...

for calling a meeting
at this high level.

The usual reason that family
gets together is funerals.

Yeah, large ones.

Well, how large and for whom is
what you'll endeavor to find out.

Well, if there's a burial plot
afoot, sir, Illya and I will uncover it.

Would you mind keeping me
out of your morbid puns, please?

I'm afraid you're
included, Mr. Kuryakin.

I suggest you both stick as close
as you possibly can to Frank Cariago.

Whatever the
assignment is, it's his.

And it's big.

Nasty-looking bird.

Where does it nest?

It's migratory.

I believe it propagates
in Beverly Hills.

Hi.

How do you do?

Very nicely, thank you.
What are you doing?

I'm the pool repairman.

Oh, is the pool broken?

I don't know yet.

I've been sent to check it out.

This is Mr. Cariago's
pool, isn't it?

Everything here
is Mr. Cariago's.

It's awfully nice of your
company to send a man out.

We like to keep an eye on our
important clients, Miss, uh...?

LaVeer. Ginger LaVeer.

I'm Mr. Cariago's, uh, friend.

I'll bet it takes a long time to learn
how to fix broken swimming pools.

It takes a while.

I'll bet you meet so
many beautiful girls in

your job, you get
tired of looking at them.

It takes a few.

I see you're the
strong, silent type.

I have to concentrate on my job.

Why?

The television
repairman didn't have to.

Neither did the refrigerator repairman,
or the electric-toaster repairman.

Ooh, or the
egg-cooker repairman.

Egg-cooker repairman?

The egg-cooker repairman?

Yes, Frank... Mr. Cariago.
- -eats an awful lot of eggs.

Hey, listen, if I'm bugging
you, just let me know.

No, you're not bugging me.

It just gets so lonely here.

Mr. Cariago travels
all the time, you know.

He just got back from a
visit with his family in Sicily...

and then he had to
take a business trip.

And I'm stuck here with nothing to
do but float around on my mattress...

and read the
show-business papers.

- Are you in show business?
- I used to be. I was a go-go dancer.

But I had to quit because
I kept catching cold.

I'll be back in the swim
pretty soon though.

Frank... I mean, Mr. Cariago has
promised to get me a part in a movie.

Where is Mr. Cariago now?

He's in Las Vegas. He...

Watch that door, you.

Here he is.

Been nice knowing you.

Thank you. I hope the
pool gets broken again soon.

Frank, honey, what
happened to you?

I fell off my skateboard. Now,
shut up and stop bothering me.

Sure. Just let me show
you this one little thing.

It's my big chance, Frank.

What's today? MAN: Monday.

Not the name, the number.
- The ninth.

He went broke again, Frank, honey.
You could buy in for almost nothing.

The ninth. Four days left.

Only four days left.

Frank, you promised.

- Are you gonna shut up?
- But, Frank...

Look, you think I don't know
about the television repairman...

and the refrigerator repairman,
and the egg-cooker repairman?

And we don't even
have an egg cooker!

We have a double boiler. I can't
help it if things get broken, Frank.

Maybe I can't help
it if you get broken.

You promised, Frank, honey.

You said you'd get
me in the movies.

And here Sheldon Veblen's gone
broke in the middle of his picture...

and he's just the best
director in Hollywood.

And it's a chance of a lifetime
for a young actress like me.

You can buy in for a
song, Frank, honey.

You want a song?

I'll give you a song.

"Taps Played With
Sicilian Bugles."

I'm looking into an open grave
and she's yapping on about movies.

Why don't you get lost, huh?

Get lost before I put you back into
that glass cage where I found you.

Even the pool repairman
was nicer to me than you are.

Hmm. How much nicer?

GINGER: A lot nicer.

She's exaggerating.

Mm-hm.

Boss, take a look at this.

- Not you too.
- No, no, look.

So the guy's making a picture
about Sodom and Gomorrah.

What's the matter? You got an urge
to go back to Sunday school, huh?

Don't you remember what
happened to those two towns, boss?

- Huh?
- Yeah.

Eh? Yeah. Yeah.

Ginger? Ginger, sweetheart.

Come over here to Papa, baby.

What are you sulking about?

You said you'd get
me in the movies.

Well, did Big Frank Papa
ever welsh on a promise, huh?

You mean you'll
give me my chance?

If my baby wants Technicolor CinemaScope,
my baby gets Technicolor CinemaScope.

Oh, you mean it, Frank, honey?

Oh, you bet your sweet
mattress I mean it, baby.

Oh. CARIAGO: Ow!

- Get off.
- Aah!

Look at this, boss.

No.

Don't you realize
who planted that bug?

Uncle Giuliano.

You mean that cute pool
repairman was an uncle?

Shh.

That cute pool
repairman was from uncle.

I think so, boss.

Yeah. Boy, that's
just like uncle's style.

Sending a pool repairman
to check up on me.

He never did like me.

As if I don't have enough
trouble on my own already.

Here, take this.

Put it over there.

I think we've got
a bug in our bug.

Aw...

Look, Mac, you're a big
winner. All I need is a thousand.

A measly thousand bucks and
she's yours, all yours. My own wife.

Take her, like new.
Hardly been used.

I gotta have another chance.

Cut, cut, cut.

Beautiful, Twill. Magnificent.

You filled that scene with all
the emotion of a fire hydrant.

I'm trying my best, Mr. Veblen.

"I'm trying my
best, Mr. Veblen."

We are shooting the modern version of
the Sodom and Gomorrah story, Twill...

not a travelogue about
Passaic, New Jersey.

You are in the sin
capital of the world.

A cauldron of corruption,
a kettle of calumny.

- Kettle of what?
- Calumny.

Shh. Shh.

Odd.

This scene should
positively ooze decadence...

degradation and dissolution.

Oh, boy.

You, with the green spots
all over you. Who are you?

Uh, Napoleon Solo, uh, Mr. Veblen.
From Screen Bits Magazine.

We'd like to do an
article on your film.

Have you been taking this down?

Just making some
background notes, yes.

Well, wouldn't want you to give your
readers the wrong impression, Mr. Solo.

We have our occasional
squabbles, of course...

but basically, we're just
one big happy family here.

Isn't that right, Twill?

Yes, Mr. Veblen. We
couldn't be happier.

Okay? SOLO: Mm.

Harry again.

Harry? Harry, what
are you doing here?

For goodness sakes,
Harry, what are you doing?

Look, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
but, uh, that's a court order...

- to impound your equipment.
- Harry, you can't do this to me.

- Film is a living, breathing thing.
- Breathing thing.

Say, you can't...

Listen, the creative process can't be
turned off like a... Like a leaky faucet.

See what they're doing to me? I'm glad
you're here to see this, you reporters.

Wolves, vultures, philistines.

Phili-what? VEBLEN: Stines.

- Stines, stines. VEBLEN:
Take it all, go ahead.

That's it. Why stop
with the...? With the set?

Take the cast, for goodness
sakes. Take... Take the script.

Here. Wait a minute, you
want me to cut out my heart...

so you can take that too?

Uh, no, that won't be necessary.

You see, the orders specify
only negotiable items. I'm sorry.

Ugh, all right,
everybody, gather round.

I see a lot of familiar
faces here, so most of you...

have probably heard my
farewell speech before.

You know, it starts out, "The
philistines have won another triumph...

in the never-ending war
between art and profit."

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Doubtless, you
remember the rest of it.

So I don't have to
bother repeating it.

I, uh, just wanna
thank you all for your...

Your efforts.

And your enthusiasm.

And I...

I'm only sorry that this
film will never be finished.

All right, hold everything!

All of a sudden I got
a cast of thousands?

What is this? I can't even make a
farewell speech without being interrupted.

Take it easy, Mr. Veblen. Put
that table back where you got it.

Now, wait, wait, just a
minute here. Who are you?

His name is Cariago.

So it's Ca...

Frank Cariago.
You heard it before?

Uh, oh, yes, Mr. Cariago.

Why don't you and your boys go out
and give us a stiff cup of coffee, huh?

Well, we... We... We...

I guess a five-minute,
uh, break wouldn't hurt us.

I understand you're having
a little financial difficulty.

Are you another vulture who
has come to pick at my bones?

Oh, not me, pal.

How much would it take, uh,
to get you back in the black?

We're shooting in color.

No, I mean financially.

- Well over a million.
- How much is "well over"?

Another million?

You mean 2 million would get
all these cameras rolling again?

Roughly.

- Hey, you.
- Huh?

- You a reporter?
- Yeah.

Well, uh, mister, uh...?

Solo.

Well, Mr. Solo, you can tell your readers
that Mr. Veblen has got a new backer.

The cameras are
gonna start rolling again.

Ah.

You know, your name is,
uh, familiar to me, Mr. Cariago.

I didn't know
motion-picture investments...

were among your many
and diverse interests.

What?

Well, what I mean is,
uh, what's your angle?

My angle?

Precisely what I was, uh,
going to ask, Mr. Cariago.

Um, what's the, uh...?
What's the gimmick?

The gimmick.

Ginger, baby!

Yes, Frankie, I'm here.

I knew it.

It's the egg-cooker girl.

We'd better find
another assignment.

Oh, don't go, boys. You
wanna get some publicity shots...

of a brand-new star.

Uh, thanks, but I tell you, I...

If the boss says
you stay, you stay.

Hi.

Ginger, this is Mr. Veblen.

Oh, Mr. Veblen, I'm so thrilled
to be meeting you at last.

I've seen every
movie you ever made.

I saw Gone with
the Wind four times.

Glad you liked it. I was 12
years old when it was made.

Really? I would
have never guessed.

This is Ginger LaVeer.
She's your new star.

- You're joking.
- No, I never joke.

Well?

Well, I have a choice between
bankruptcy and Ginger Baby.

Death by fire or death by water.

I prefer to drown.

Heh. You'll never
regret it, Sheldon.

Take a picture.

Oh, hello there. I see
you've got another job too.

Did you have to
be so nice to her?

She was lonely.

- What's all this about?
- That was the pool repairman.

The what?

Stop those two! Don't
let them get away.

Stop!

I know who you are.

- You do?
- Yeah.

What, you think I'm stupid,
huh? You were sent by uncle.

Angelo, shake hands
with mister, uh...?

Uh, Solo.

Oh, come on, you can
use your right name with us.

After all, we're all
part of the same family.

Well, if you don't
mind, I'll keep this one.

- This is mister, uh...?
- Kuryakin.

Oh, boy, they sure do come up
with beautiful names, don't they?

I like it.

Fellas, I want you to treat
these two just like you treat me.

They were sent here by uncle.

Uncle Giuliano.

Welcome.

Welcome to the family, cousin.

Fellas, stand up,
look lively, huh?

I think I'm beginning
to enjoy the family life.

All right, now, uh...

Well, you haven't met
all your in-laws yet.

Uh, fine. Let's get Ginger...
Uh, dear. Come over here, dear.

All right, now, as the scene opens,
dear, uh, you are in bed alone.

That's it. Get in the bed.

Now, you're in bed alone,
deserted by your husband...

owner of a large gambling joint,
who's off playing gin rummy...

with his gangster cronies.

You lie here in bed, in
the shimmering moonlight.

Shimmering moonlight.

That's good. You lie here
in the shimmering moonlight.

A vision of palpitating
beauty, dreaming the dreams...

of a lonely and beautiful woman.

Perhaps of some Prince Charming
who will come through the window...

and carry you off.

When suddenly, someone
does come through the window.

Two masked thugs.

Thugs. Come on, come on.

Two masked thugs
smelling of garlic.

It's the old kidnap caper.

Frightened, you
cower in your bed.

Come on, move, move.
You cower in your bed.

That's right. That's it.

Now, before...

Come on. Keep the
gun up high, in the frame.

But before...

That's right, that's
it. You are terrified.

You are frightened.
You cower in your bed.

That's it. Now, before they can lay
their hairy hands on your lovely body...

through the door bursts your
husband and his bodyguard.

Burst.

That's it. And now a fight
rages around the room.

Don't rage me. Rage yourselves.
All right, they are raging.

You are terrified, powerless,
caught in the vortex of this violence.

But what do I do, Mr. Veblen?

Do?

Why, you emote.

You are the cause
of this carnage.

You can emote, can't you?

Of course, Mr. Veblen.

Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help. Help.

- Uh, that's enough, dear, thank you.
- Help...

That's enough. Uh...

Uh, okay, everybody, I think
it's time to, uh, take a little break.

We'll, uh... We'll
shoot this scene later.

And may the Lord
have mercy on our souls.

Uh, Ginger Baby's screen test.

She's not bad.

She'll be the hit of the film if
we can only keep her mouth shut.

I gather the, uh, film
concerns Las Vegas.

That's right. The modern
Sodom and Gomorrah.

A cauldron of
corruption, a kettle of ca...

Yes, I know, um...

How does it end?

Just as in the Bible.
The city is destroyed.

Oh, I see, uh...

Could I ask how?

That, Mr. Solo, is
where I must stop.

Oh, that's a shame, uh...

The, uh, ending of my
film is classified information.

Sorry, Mr. Solo.

Oh, wait, wait. Not
even a slight hint, huh?

Not even a whisper.

Oh.

Hmm.

Hi, did you want
some more pictures?

Well, as a matter of
fact, I did, yes, uh...

but, uh, I didn't want to bother
you while you're shooting.

Oh, that's all right.

Just because I'm a famous movie star
now doesn't mean I'd forget my old friends.

How nice of you.

Uh...

Oh...

By the way, what do you,
uh, think of your script?

Oh, I just love it.

I mean, those parts
that I understand.

Of course, but don't you
think it's, uh, kind of funny?

- Why funny?
- Well, it doesn't have an end.

Oh, that. It really
does have an ending.

But Mr. Veblen won't let
anybody know what it is.

Not even Mr. Cariago?

I mean, after all, it's
uh... It's his money.

I don't know about Frank,
but nobody else knows.

Mr. Veblen says those cheap
TV outfits have spies everywhere.

Isn't it ridiculous?

As if a spy would sneak
into my dressing room...

just to peek at his
crummy old script.

Ridiculous.

But I'm the producer.
Why won't you tell me?

I tell no one.

Listen, I put up $2 million, and you're
not even gonna tell me what the end is?

I tell no one.

Well, I hope you
have another friend...

who can come up
with the other 2 million.

To tell you the truth, I've
been dying to tell someone.

Boy, when you come up with an
end of a picture, you come up with it.

Well...

I couldn't have done
better if I wrote it myself.

All right, places, everybody.

Everything going all right, fellas?
My boys taking good care of you?

Couldn't be cozier.

Let me congratulate
you on your security.

When you, uh...

When you discovered us,
we still hadn't found out...

what your plan of operation was.

We've mentioned
it in our report.

Oh, thank you, boys.

A good word from you two will put
me in real solid with Uncle Giuliano.

Uh, just what is your plan?

It's beautiful. Really beautiful...
- Boss?

You got a phone call.
It's Uncle Giuliano.

All right.

Hey, I got a very
private phone call.

You know where I can take it?

My private office
is double-locked.

Double-locked?

You'll see why
when you get inside.

Good boy.

Uh-oh...

But, Uncle Giuliano,
let me explain.

You better make it
good, my dear nephew.

I'm not in the business
of spending $2 million...

just so you can see
your girl in a movie.

See my g...?

Uncle Giuliano, you don't really
think that's why I'm doing this, do you?

Straighten me out, then.

Well, Ginger... That's
my broad's name.

She's only a front...

to make it look legitimate.

Uncle.

This picture is gonna wipe
out Las Vegas once and for all.

A movie? Heh.

You're gonna wipe out
Las Vegas with a movie?

Ah, you got a lot of
surprises with a movie.

You can do an
awful lot of things.

You remember that little accident
when that bomber crashed in...

and went right down
in the water, huh?

Yes, I remember. Nothing happened,
just a lot of people got scared.

Yeah, heh, heh. Only this time,
uncle, it's not just gonna be a scare.

You mean you're gonna drop
an atomic bomb on Las Vegas?

It's part of the picture.

It's right there
in the script. Heh.

Only, the director, heh, heh, he
plans on using a dummy bomb.

What he doesn't know is
that the bomb is gonna be real.

It's the director
that's a dummy.

Oh, Uncle Giuliano, is that
worth 2 million or not, huh?

It is, my nephew, if
you got the real thing.

I got the best munitions
man in the world working on it.

Now, he's guaranteed me that we can
make the loudest bang since Los Alamos.

You know, occasionally, my dear nephew,
there is evidence of a brain or two...

rattling around in
that skull of yours.

Thank you, uncle.

Oh, you don't have to worry
about the two men you sent.

We'll make sure they're
well-taken care of.

- My two what?
- The two men you, uh...

Well, you sent to
check up on me.

I sent no men.

You've made your usual
stupid blunder, my dear nephew.

But if you didn't
send them, who did?

I don't know, but you
better return them in a box.

Now, quiet, everybody. Let's get
ready here. All right, let's have a bell.

That's fine. All right, you, get
in position. Come on, let's go.

- All right, roll them.
- Scene 26, take one.

And action.

Help. Help. Help.

Help. Help.

I think the familial
honeymoon is over, coz.

Stop those two. They're
from the wrong uncle.

Lower, more menacing. - Help.

Help.

Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help.

Give us something,
or else just shut up.

Help. Help. Help.

Fight. Keep rolling.

That's swell, come at each other.
- Help. Help.

Come on, don't stand there.
Fight back, fellas. Let's go.

All right. GINGER: Help. Help.

Too many people in this
shot. I need less people.

Oh, better, better.

Get out! Fight, fight. Very good.
- Help. Help. Help.

Get out of the way,
you. Come on now.

- Looks phony. Come on.
- Help.

You, come on, gasp.

You, shut up, my dear.

Gasp. Hit him. Come on, gasp.

Very good. Beautiful. Brilliant.

- How did I do, Mr. Veblen?
- My dear, you were unbelievable.

You boys ain't so hot outside
your own territory, are you?

You're making a big mistake.

Well, did you hear that, boys?
The man says he's a mistake. Heh.

We can't have a mistake walking
around. That would embarrass us.

Put the mistake in the tub.

And you're a
mistake too, buster.

But you don't get erased until the boss
has a chance to ask you a few questions.

Mr. Cariago.

Well, genius, is it ready?

Almost.

Now...

Ugh...

Mr. Cariago, you can't just
whip up an atomic bomb...

like a hot-fudge sundae.

It's a long process.

It took Mao Tse-tung six years.

I'm looking into an open grave, and
you give me excuses out of Pearl Buck.

Now, I want a bomb,
and I want it right now.

Mr. Cariago, how about
a conventional bomb?

Now, come over
here. Come over here.

Now, I can...

I can mix up a
high-explosive formula that...

If I want firecrackers, I
know where to get them.

From you I want the atomic bomb.

But these are blockbusters.

Do you know what 10 of
these will do to Las Vegas?

Do you know what Uncle Giuliano is gonna
do to me if I don't get him the real thing?

I haven't decided yet.

But I'm playing around with
some very interesting ideas.

Uncle Giuliano. Ha, ha.

I thought you
were still in Sicily.

I should be in Sicily
playing bocce...

while you're here botching
up this whole operation.

Oh, no, I may look
old, but I'm not senile.

I knew you'd bumble up the job.

I didn't bumble anything. I
still got a couple of days to go.

You'd bumble it even if
you had two more years.

All right, boys, bring it in.

Uncle Giuliano...

Is this the real thing, uncle?

You think I'd fly all the way from
Sicily with a crate full of linguini?

You said you'd be
right out, Frank, honey.

I've been sitting
in that car waiting.

I've gotta get home. I've gotta
study my lines for tomorrow.

Is this thing for real?

Why, you bet your life it's
the real thing, a real A-bomb.

And we're gonna drop it
right on Las Vegas tonight.

You got a big mouth,
and it's regrettable.

Yeah.

Uh, I think I'll go and practice
my dialogue for a while.

I suggest you get this
girl a room to practice.

One with a lock on it.

But, Frankie...

You can practice in here.

But, Frankie, that's a closet.

What's the matter, you need
Carnegie Hall to practice?

Let me out.

Let me out.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three.

Will you stop clowning
about and get me out of here?

I'm glad to see
you're still with us.

I see you got to the bottom of
things with your usual alacrity.

I haven't heard from you
for some time, Mr. Kuryakin.

I trust everything is well.

Have you been able
to ascertain yet...

what Mr. Cariago is up to?

Uh, no, sir, we don't know
what his plan of operation is yet...

but we know it has something
to do with Las Vegas.

Our other sources have already
ascertained that, Mr. Kuryakin.

I'm in Las Vegas right now.

We also know that the head
of the syndicate has left Sicily...

and is probably
somewhere in this country.

Well, he hasn't...

Will you please be
careful with that thing?

He hasn't shown up here yet.

Report to me as soon
as you turn up something.

It's a good thing you
didn't become a surgeon.

Frankie?

Frankie, I'm done
practicing, Frankie.

Slow down.

Go over a bump, and they'll be
picking up our pieces in Chicago.

Hey, what's going
on here, Cariago?

This should have been loaded already.
We haven't got all night, you know.

The bomb. It's
bigger than we figured.

Ah, nonsense, the thing's been
weighed and measured a dozen times.

It should fit perfectly. Come
on, boys, let's get it aboard.

Hold it!

For crying out loud.

What's the matter with you, fellas? I
mean, it's only a prop, for goodness' sake.

It's a...

Wait a minute, this isn't
the bomb I ordered. Cariago!

Now, what's the matter
with you, Cariago?

Come on now, who's
running this show here?

Okay.

Please, please, Sheldon.

Yeah, but I thought this was...

This...

This isn't a dummy, is it?

This is a real, uh, bomb.

Not only a bomb,
it's an atomic...

Cariago, shut up.

If the bomb bay was as big as your
mouth, we could get three bombs in it.

Relax, Mr. Veblen, your
fade-out comes later.

But meanwhile, we can
have a little chat, hmm?

Tell me, uh, have you seen
any good movies lately?

Oh, oh!

Oh, thank goodness I found
you. We've got to stop them.

They're going to use
a bomb. A real bomb.

A bomb? Where?

At the airport right now.

It's Mr. Veblen's big scene.

You know, the last scene
you couldn't find in my script?

They're going to drop a
real bomb on Las Vegas.

Let's go!

Pull over by the ladder.

This side, and hold it steady.

Bye.

Oh, Mr. Veblen,
are you all right?

Huh? Oh, never... Never mind me.

Come on, there's
no time to lose.

I hope we can get
the police in time.

Police? Are you
out of your mind?

I guess you're right, we
better call the Air Force.

Nobody's calling anybody.

I'm gonna get myself a plane.

And I'm gonna shoot the
greatest scene of my entire career.

The entire city of Las Vegas
going up in a cloud of smoke.

Follow that bomber.

Honey, would you play
this machine just once?

Who, me?

Yeah, somebody must
have put a hex on it.

Well, why not switch
to another machine?

This is my machine.

I've been playing it 12 years,
and I ain't about to change now.

Are you gonna help me or not?

Yes, I will, with
pleasure, madam.

Oh, great, great.

Better hope that bomb doesn't go off at
this altitude, because we'll go up with it.

I'm not as stupid as Cariago.

To make Las Vegas unappetizing
doesn't require an atom bomb.

The one we just dropped contains
10 ton of dimethyl chloryl fluoride.

And what is that?

Essence of skunk.

It's a 10-ton stink bomb.

Oh, what a scene. I'm a genius.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Ha. Beautiful, beautiful.

Whoopee.

Whoopee. That's
what I'd call a jackpot!

Hello. There you go.

Looks like you have a smash
on your hands, Mr. Veblen.

The philistines don't win
all the battles, Mr. Solo.

I just wish those terrible
gangsters could see it.

It would show them what a real artist
can do even when the odds are against him.

No, my dear, it would show
them what a real actress can do.

Perhaps the Sicilian prison authorities
will arrange to have it shown for them.

Uh, where's your
friend, uh, Mr. Solo?

Well, you know, the one with
the hair and the green spots, uh...

A passable actor, you know.

With the right director, he
could make, uh, quite a talent.

Really?

As a matter of fact, he wanted to come,
but he had other matters on his hands.

Uh, that reminds me, excuse me.

Open Channel D.

Come in, Little Flower,
how are you doing?

The lab says that with any luck,
I'll be out of here within a week...

smelling like a rose.