All language subtitles for The Garfield Show (2011) - S02E06 - Cyber Mailman - Odie for Sale.en

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]

[eerie music playing]

[show host] Do not adjust the picture.

You are about to enter another dimension,

a dimension of sight and sound
and lasagna,

a dimension known as The Garfield Zone.

Uh-oh. This looks like it's gonna be
one of those real weird episodes.

This unremarkable house
in this unremarkable neighborhood

belongs to Jon Arbuckle,
who is, oddly enough, unremarkable.

And this somewhat overweight creature
is Jon Arbuckle's cat, Garfield,

about to wreak havoc and terror.

Translation, I'm waiting for the mailman.

Hey-hey!

-[drill whirring]
-No!

You should check your oil more often,
you're down a quart.

I quit! I'm going home!

Then you won't be needing
this lunch you packed, right?

Liverwurst.

Whoa!

[host] The next morning, fate comes early.

[doorbell rings]

[Garfield] Arbuckle, door.

[ringing continues]

Jon Arbuckle, I am Professor Bonkers,

head of scientific type research
at Postal Headquarters.

-You and your cat are to come with us.
-What if we don't want to?

-[Garfield snoring]
-[Jon] Huh?

We brought you here to correct a situation
that is intolerable

and in sorry need of correction.

We cannot have citizens' pets
terrorizing our mailmen.

Oh, that. [sniffs]
Hey, I smell something edible.

Mr. Arbuckle, you have been selected
to participate in an experiment

that will revolutionize mail delivery
as we know it.

Here is the mail that was to be delivered
to you this morning.

I am going to de-molecularize it.

Huh? Hey, my mail!
There was a letter there from my mother.

[Garfield laughs]

[energy pulsing]

[laughs] Huh?

Your mail, Mr. Arbuckle.

Observe, the proper way
for a pet to pester a postman!

[yowls] Meow, meow!

Whoa!

-[thud!]
-Oh, that hurt.

Missed.

What is that?

From now on, your mail will be delivered
by a holographic mailman.

A holographic mailman?

A three-dimensional image
capable of delivering digitized mail.

We had to find a way of protecting mailmen
from creatures such as your cat.

[chuckles] Have a nice day, Mr. Arbuckle.

I've gotta have another run at this.

Ouch!

Oh, this is terrible.
What am I gonna do?

[gasps] I know what I'll do.
I'll have another taco.

Yum, yum, yum!

-Hey!
-[Garfield] Too late.

[host] And so the cat licked
the plate clean.

But what he didn't realize

was that a tiny drop of taco sauce
dripped off one whisker

and fell into the computer master control,

a drop that would short-circuit
and reprogram things

so the cyber mailman
would no longer deliver today's mail.

He would begin to deliver tomorrow's mail.

-[blows raspberry]
-Too bad, cats! Sorry, dogs!

You won't have this mailman
to kick around anymore.

Especially this cat!

[chuckles]

[click]

[device whirring]

-[videogame music playing]
-[Jon pressing keys]

[chickens squawking]

Morning, Mr. Arbuckle.

-[Jon] Huh?
-[mailman] Your mail!

Oh. Uh, thanks.

Oh, wait. I have your morning
newspaper for you, too.

Have a nice day.

[device whirring]

[Odie whimpering]

He's out there, Odie, and he's mocking me.

This is odd. This newspaper I just got
has the winning lottery numbers in it.

But I thought the drawing
wasn't until tonight.

This is even odder.
This isn't today's date on the newspaper.

It's tomorrow's date!

[host] That afternoon, he bought a ticket.

The numbers in the newspaper were one,
seven, 23, 30, 40, 41. Bonus number 21.

[man] And now it's time
for this week's winning lottery number.

They are as follows: one, seven,

23, 30, 40, and 41.

The bonus number, 21.

Hah! I have all the numbers!
I'm rich! I'm filthy rich!

-I'd say we join him, Odie.
-Okay.

[cheering]

Mwah! Mwah!

And I owe it all to somehow
getting tomorrow's newspaper today.

Gee, I wonder if tomorrow
I'll get the newspaper for the day after.

[host] And, as it turned out,
that's exactly what happened.

-[mailman] Here you go, Mr. Arbuckle.
-Yes!

[host] And so, every day,
he bought another lottery ticket.

Three, 13, 22, 31, 41, 42,
bonus number, 11.

[host] And every evening, he won.

[man] That would be three, 13, 22, 31, 41,

42, bonus number, 11.

[yawns] Another million dollars.

Maybe I'll take tomorrow off
and I won't enter the lottery.

-[clattering]
-Huh?

[Garfield laughs] Oh, that's good.

Food, food! Yum, yum, yum!

On second thought, maybe I'd better enter.
I may need that money.

Yeah!

[host] Soon, everyone knew
of his incredible luck.

Mr. Arbuckle, you've now won
the lottery 42 times in a row.

How do you do it?

Oh, I guess I'm just a good guesser.

I suppose you're going
to turn over your fortune

to some famous investment expert like
Bernie Scamberry who'll triple your money.

Well, mostly I've been feeding my cat.
I haven't decided what to do.

Hey, what was that name again?
"Triple my money..." Hmm?

[host] An hour later,
Jon Arbuckle was in the office

of the famed investment counsellor
Bernard Scamberry.

Here it is, Mr. Scamberry.
A certified check for everything I've won.

Good, and I'll take care of your money.

-Oh, this is a mistake.
-Really?

Yeah, I would have used it
to buy every Italian restaurant in town.

Oh, and with the change,

I would have picked up
a little hot dog cart.

[chuckles]

You won't regret this, Mr. Arbuckle.
I turn millionaires into billionaires.

And billionaires into trillionaires.

Great, Bernie.
I just know I can trust you.

[thunder rumbling]

[Garfield] Ah, looks like rain.

You think it's going to rain, Garfield?

I can look at tomorrow's newspaper
and see if it rained today.

Uh-huh. It says today was cloudy
but no precipitation.

See? It says it right here
under the photo of Bernie.

Bernie?

"Authorities say investment counsellor
Bernard Scamberry has fled to Brazil

with millions in clients' money."

[Odie] Huh?

[Jon panting]

Ohhhh!

-He's gone!
-So is your money.

-[Jon] Huh?
-[yips]

[host] And now from the window,
they could almost hear him say...

When I get to Brazil,
I'll send you a postcard with your money!

[laughing]

-[Jon sighs]
-[Garfield sighs]

Looks like Bernie made off with the money.

It's not so bad; as long as I'm getting
newspapers from the future,

I can win the lottery and make it back.

[Garfield] Ahem!

I haven't bought a ticket
for tonight's drawing.

-Let's see what the winning numbers are.
-[Garfield gasps] Hey, read that.

What's so important, Garfield?

"Mysterious explosion destroys
post office experimental lab."

Hey, that's that place they took us to.
Too bad about that, but...

Whoaaa!

[host] Arbuckle and his cat
raced for the lab.

Their intentions were good,
but they hadn't realized something.

You cannot change the future.

[machine beeping]

Something is amiss with the central core
of the cyber mailman digitizer.

There seems to be a short circuit.

How could that have happened?

It is impossible.

Unless, of course,
someone dripped taco sauce inside of it.

-[tires screech]
-[horns honking]

[Jon snarls]

[Garfield panting]

Hurry, guys! Hurry!

This is the post office.
Nobody hurries around here.

I smell smoke. Is there any chance
of that thing blowing up?

None whatsoever.
I would stake my reputation on it.

[machine whirring]

-This lab is about to explode!
-[machine buzzing]

I will not, however, stake my life on it.

[screaming]

[bull roaring]

[screams]

[kaboom!]

Well, there goes
the cyber mailman project.

It will be years
before we could restore it.

Which means no more
future newspaper deliveries to me.

[Jon and Garfield sigh]

[mailman] But that's not
the worst part of it.

[host] No, the worst part of it was that
Herman Post, career letter carrier,

had to go back to delivering mail
the old-fashioned way.

-[splat!]
-Ahh! Ha ha! I did it!

I delivered the mail
without running into that cat.

Whoa!

That's what you get for bringing
nothing but bills all the time.

[Garfield laughs]

Yaaah! Aaaah!

Oh, no, no!

[host] Submitted for your approval,

a mailman who thought science
could catapult him

into the future without cats.

He should have known
there's no escaping destiny in...

The Garfield Zone.

[gasps] I told you this was going to be
one of those weird episodes.

[snickers]

But Mr. Allwork,
I'm only a few days behind in my payments.

I'm waiting for a check
from my employer.

And my employer is waiting for a check
from you; don't make me sue you.

[Odie whimpering]

Oh, Jon's late on a bill
for something or other.

-That guy came by to demand payment.
-[Odie] Oh.

You'd really sue me?
Over such a small amount of money?

I'm a lawyer, Arbuckle.
It's my job to sue people.

Listen to my schedule for this afternoon.

"One o'clock, sue someone.
Two o'clock, sue someone.

Three o'clock, go visit my cousin Sue.
3:30, sue Sue.

Four o'clock, stop at the market,
buy a gallon of milk.

4:30, sue the market, the dairy
and the cow the milk came from."

-Any questions?
-Nope.

Tell me, Arbuckle.
How is it you're always low on cash?

Here you are, Mr. Arbuckle.

Twelve pepperoni pizzas for your pussycat.

[sighs] Any questions?

[man] This is a baby kangaroo...

Not as cute as me!

And this is a baby panda...

Definitely not as cute as me!

[Odie whines]

Hey, what are you complaining about?
I gave you a crust.

-[Nermal] Not as cute as me!
-[Odie grumbles]

-[Nermal] Not as cute as me.
-Alright then, half a crust.

Guys, I need some fast money.
I'm going to have a garage sale.

I need things to sell.

Garfield, find things to get rid of,
things that are utterly useless.

Huh! I love watching nature films on TV.

[snickers]

[laughs]

[Jon sighs]

[Allwork] Daws, after we drop my son
at home, take me to the courthouse.

[Daws] Very well, Mr. Allwork.
Who are you suing today?

I don't know but I'll find someone.

Dad, could we, maybe, do something?
I mean, you and me?

I have work to do, Jack; besides, I just
picked you up at your baseball game.

Yeah, and you sued the umpire.

Oh, there's that Arbuckle fellow
I may be suing.

He seems to be having
some sort of yard sale.

Daws, stop for a moment or I'll sue you.

Let me sell Nermal.
Oh, let me sell Nermal, please?

-Maybe I can get $3 for this old lamp.
-Let me sell Nermal!

While I look for more junk,
put price tags on everything.

And remember, price things
based on what they're really worth.

There you go, Odie.
What you're really worth.

[laughs] Two cents.

A lot of worthless junk.
I may have to sue him over this.

Hey, Dad, look at the neat puppy.

He's real cute and he's only two cents.

You want him, son? Maybe I can negotiate
the price down to a penny.

-Please, Dad?
-Oh, all right.

Arbuckle, I'm buying this dog.

[gasps, yips]

[laughing]

Huh?

I'm sorry, Mr. Allwork.
Odie's not for sale.

Yes, he is.

He has a price tag and I have agreed
to the price specified on the tag.

That's a legally binding contract.
Honor it or I'll sue you.

-Huh?
[Allwork] I owe you two cents.

Do you have change for a hundred?
[chuckles]

And I'll need a receipt.

Oh!

[Odie whimpering]

-The price tag on him was just a joke.
-A joke? Sorry, Arbuckle.

I know you're attached to this dog
but my son wants it,

and I give my son anything he wants.

Yeah, as long as it doesn't take
any of your time.

[Odie whimpers, barks]

[gasps]

[sighs]

Garfield, have you thought of anything?

Anything you can do
to make the situation better?

-[Nermal] Wha?
-I marked Nermal down to a penny.

[Nermal] Oooh!

Too bad about Odie. I always liked him.

He was damp around the tongue
but he was a good dog.

Hey, Squeak.
You gonna finish that piece of cheese?

I was planning. Why?

Because Jon's not gonna feed me
until I get Odie back.

-Aaaah!
-Squeak.

Do you think the mouse network could
figure out where they took the pooch?

Leave it to me, Garf.
I'd do anything for you.

Anything?

[gulps] Make that almost anything.

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

"247 Barrister Lane."
That's in the fancy part of town.

Figures.
I got it from an upper class rodent.

How do you get the guy
to give Odie back?

I shall employ a brilliant plan.
I hope I have one by the time I get there.

[Odie whimpering]

Hi, boy. How about if I throw
the stick and you fetch it?

Uh-uh.

Wanna go for a run?

[sighs] Uh-uh.

[sighs]

Whoa, nice place Odie gets to live in.

If you're wondering,
I still don't have that brilliant plan.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, it's you.
Did you come to get the dog back?

[laughs]

Well, Mr. Allwork gave
explicit instructions.

The dog now belongs to his son, Jack,
and that's final.

[gasps] Hmm.

[doorbell rings]

No, you are not a little girl
come to play with Master Jack.

You are that pussycat again. Good day.

[snarls]

[doorbell rings]

Hey, Mr. Butler, sir.

It's me, Vito, here to deliver a pizza
to the little boy

and the puppala with the wet tongue.

No, you are not a pizza delivery man.

You're still that pussycat. Good day.

[doorbell rings]

No, you're not the abominable snowman.

Eh, it was worth a try.

You're that pussycat again.

You force me to use
our state-of-the-art security system,

which fortunately includes
an abominable snowman catapult.

[boing!]

[gasps] Jon needs to get one of those.

You never know when an abominable snowman
is gonna come around.

I don't know how to get Odie back.

I don't even know
where I got those costumes. Huh?

Hey, he left that upstairs window open.

Okay, it's not a brilliant plan
but it's close.

You don't want to do
anything with me, puppy.

[Odie sighs] Uh-uh.

I didn't need a dog for that.
I could get that from my dad.

[Odie] Huh?

You miss where you used to live,
don't you?

[yips] Yeah, yeah! [yips]

That's where you should be.
Come on. I'll take you home.

[yipping]

It appears that pussycat
had the good sense to give up and leave.

Now, to find Odie.

Oh, no, he did not!

He's climbing into the master bedroom.

Now, to run from the butler.

Yaaaaaa!

[panting]

-[bell rings]
-[camel bellows]

[duck quacking]

[mechanized penguin beeping]

[Garfield laughing]

No, I'm going to sue you and that's that.

Fine, see you for dinner
Sunday night, Mom.

Yaaaaaaa!

-What does this mean?
-I don't know, but I'll bet I get sued.

[gasping] I'm dreadfully sorry,
Mr. Allwork.

This pussycat breached security
and now I see that young Jack is missing.

Also, the dog you bought him.

Missing? Well, it's obvious
where they are. Get the car out, Daws.

And you, cat. You're coming with me.

Oh! Even with the garage sale,
I don't have enough to pay off that bill.

Garfield's gone, and I may
have lost Odie forever...

-[Odie yips]
-Maybe not forever.

-[Odie yipping]
-Odie, you're back!

[laughs] I'm never going
to let you get away again.

[Allwork] You'll have to.
They don't let you have dogs in prison.

[Jon] Mr. Allwork.

-I bought that dog fair and square.
-Dad.

Not now, Jack. You stole him back
and I'm calling the police

and having you charged
with grand theft puppy.

-But, Dad...
-Quiet, Jack.

Don't make me sue my own son.
I'll do it if I have to--

[muttering]

Hey, let the kid get a word in edgewise.

Dad, I gave the dog back to him.

Why? I thought you wanted that dog.
What is it you really want?

Why won't he answer me?
What is it he really wants?

Whatever it is, I can afford it.

A dog is great,
but he's no substitute for a parent.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

Mr. Allwork, you asked me to remind you,
those people you needed to sue.

They can wait, Daws.
I need to spend more time with my son.

What's it gonna be, son?
Ball game? Movie?

Anything.

[Odie yips]

Arbuckle, that bill you owe.
Don't worry, we'll work out something.

-And thanks.
-Thank you.

I still have to make some money.

[Garfield laughs]

I know, I know.
You're going to suggest selling Nermal.

-[Odie] Huh?
-No?

I'm sorry, Garfield.
Well, what is your idea?

[snickers]

[Nermal] Yaaaah! Whaaa?

We'll give him away,
then charge people to take him back.

We'll make millions.
Millions, I tell you, millions!