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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 3 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,680 # Carry on screaming 4 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,400 Aaaaagh! 5 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,120 # Carry on screaming 6 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,040 Aaaaagh! 7 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:37,040 # Cos when you're screaming I know that you're dreaming of me 8 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,800 # The clock's striking midnight The moon's riding high 9 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,240 # A bat flutters by Everybody's getting goose pimples 10 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,400 # Cold, icy fingers that run up your spine 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,520 # Mm-hm, whoa-whoa-whoa Come closer 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,320 # Come closer 13 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,920 # Those fingers that you're feeling are mine 14 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,280 # So carry on screaming Aaaaagh! 15 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,920 # Carry on screaming # Aaaaagh! 16 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:05,640 # Cos when you're screaming I know that you're dreaming of me 17 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,880 # Each single heartbeat's a sickening thud 18 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,320 # Curdles the blood Oh, baby, ain't it romantic? 19 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,640 # I've locked the door and I've swallowed the key 20 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,400 # Mm-hm, whoa-whoa-whoa 21 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,680 # Come closer, come closer 22 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:26,240 # Cos you bring out the monster in me 23 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,480 # So carry on screaming Aaaaagh! 24 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,280 # Carry on screaming Aaaargh! 25 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,800 # Cos when you're screaming I know that you're dreaming 26 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,840 # Of me-ee-ee-ee # 27 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,840 Aaaaagh! Aaagh! 28 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,440 What's the matter? What did I do? Well, what was that funny noise? 29 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,400 W-W-What funny noise? I don't know. Sort of... 30 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,680 (BREATHES FAST AND HEAVILY) I can't help being a bit passionate. 31 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,200 Oh, Albert, I didn't mean what you were doing. 32 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,760 What are you shivering for? I don't know! 33 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,480 A funny feeling come over me suddenly, like... 34 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,200 icy fingers down my spine. Lumme, Doris, 35 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,840 I did keep my gloves on! I can't do any more, can I? 36 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,600 Oh, I didn't mean YOUR icy fingers, Albert. 37 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,200 Well, whose, then? I don't know, but... 38 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,920 I've got a feeling someone's watching us! 39 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,280 Good luck to 'em! We've been courting a year - 40 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,640 nothing worth watching so far. Albert! 41 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,720 Well, I'm sorry, Doris, but... 42 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,520 after all, I'm... I'm only flesh and blood. 43 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,280 If something doesn't happen soon, well... 44 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,240 something's going to happen, that's all. 45 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,920 Aren't you funny! I never thought of you being like that - 46 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,200 you know...flesh and blood, and that. 47 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,240 It's time you started thinking about... (GULPS) ..that. 48 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,800 Oh, Albert... Oh, Doris! 49 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,320 Aaaaaagh! What now? 50 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,800 There IS something in those bushes! 51 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,280 For Pete's sake, we're never going to get anywhere like this! 52 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,360 Albert, there...there must be somebody in those bushes, 53 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,840 because I saw them move! All right. 54 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,720 Anyone there? No. There you are, see - no one. Come on! 55 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,480 Oh, you don't expect them to say so, do you? 56 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,520 Couldn't you... Couldn't you go and look? 57 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,800 Oh, all right! 58 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,720 Who's there? 59 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,760 Come on, who's there? 60 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,120 It's not a peepshow, you know! 61 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,160 Come on out, you Peeping Tom! 62 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,200 For the last time, I'm warning you... Come on... 63 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,240 Get out... Go home! 64 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,320 (LOSES VOICE IN TERROR) 65 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,920 Nah, there's nobody here. 66 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,680 She's just trying to put me off, that's all. 67 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,120 What did I tell you? There's nobody th- 68 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,120 Doris? 69 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,120 Doris! 70 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,720 Doris, stop messing about. 71 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,760 Where are you? 72 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,760 Doris? 73 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,800 Well, answer me! 74 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,600 Ooh, mm... 75 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,880 Well, if that's all you have to say, Mr Potter, 76 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,920 I'll telephone my superior. 77 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,520 (PHONE RINGS) 78 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,880 W-W-What's the matter? 79 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,920 That noise! What's that noise? 80 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,880 It's only the telephone! Aren't you ever going to get used to it? 81 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,280 I'll never get used to it. The invention of the devil, it is! 82 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,840 People talking through wires, waking respectable people. 83 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,720 It's like someone walking in when you're in the bath. 84 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,280 It's an invasion of privacy, that's what it is. 85 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,800 You in a bath - that would stop any invasion! 86 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,880 I'm not having it in my house a moment longer, do you hear? 87 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,120 And if it doesn't go, I will. I promise you that! 88 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,640 Promises, promises! Always promises! 89 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,800 Slobotham here, Sergeant. Sorry if I'm disturbing you and Mrs Bung. 90 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,960 That's all right, Slobotham. We weren't doing anything. 91 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,920 I thought you ought to know. "It's" happened again. 92 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,800 What's happened again? Another disappearance. 93 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,240 Did you get a description? Naturally. 94 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,280 It's a Miss Doris Mann. 95 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,480 Aged about 20, medium height, average colour hair, 96 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,680 ordinary eyes, wearing clothes. 97 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:35,440 It should be a piece of cake finding her (!) Where did it happen? 98 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,200 Hocombe Woods. Again. 99 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,080 Again! That's the sixth woman who's disappeared 100 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,600 from the same spot inside of a year! 101 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,600 Exactly, Sergeant. Do you think there could be a connection? 102 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,880 It's possible, Slobotham. 103 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,400 But we mustn't jump to any conclusions. 104 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,520 No, no, of course not, Sergeant. 105 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,840 Who reported it? He's here now. 106 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,480 Calls himself Albert Potter. 107 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,720 Medium height, brown hair, beady eyes... 108 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:08,280 Never mind a description. You just keep him there till I get there. 109 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,760 Move over. What did you say? 110 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,360 Move over to my side of the bed. 111 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,480 Certainly not. You're not getting round me like that, Sidney Bung. 112 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,280 Please, Em. Just this once. I've only got a few minutes. Up! 113 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,840 I'll say this for you. You make a very good trouser press. 114 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,560 You're not going out. 115 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,080 No, I'm putting these on to take a bath (!) 116 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,640 And where are you going at this time of night? 117 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,160 To find another woman. Don't lie to me! 118 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,560 You're going to that wretched police station of yours, I know! 119 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,800 Well, you've caught me out. You haven't any time for me, 120 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,840 let alone any other woman. I wouldn't bet on that. 121 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,440 Police! That's all you ever think about! 122 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,520 Never mind about me. Oh, dear, no. 123 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,440 Do you realise you haven't taken me out for years? 124 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,840 Don't exaggerate. We went out a couple of months ago. 125 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,560 We had a lovely time. 126 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,600 You call that lovely? 127 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,800 To my poor, dear mother's funeral? 128 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,480 Well, I enjoyed it. Oh, yes, you would! 129 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,520 I should have listened to her. 130 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,880 "Never marry a policeman," she said. 131 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,960 "You can't trust 'em," she said. "Unreliable," she said. 132 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,440 BOTH: "He'll lead you a dog's life," she said. 133 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,920 She was right. I should have listened to her. 134 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,120 So should I. Where's my other boot? 135 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,320 (CLANG) 136 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,080 That's right, off you go! Never mind about saying goodbye, even! 137 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,120 Goodbye, even. 138 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,960 That's it, knock my poor mother down. 139 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,160 (CLANG) Now look what you've made me do! 140 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,040 Oh, excuse me, Sergeant. In my chair again, eh, Slobotham? 141 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,200 Just warming it up for you, Sarge. 142 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,560 Right. Is this him? Yes, 143 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,200 a Mr Potter, window cleaner. 33 Hogsmere Road. 144 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,000 Friend of the young lady that disappeared. 145 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,600 Right. Get out your notebook, Slobotham. 146 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,640 I want every word of this taken down. 147 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,880 As I understand it, you took this girl up to Hocombe Woods, right? 148 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,320 That's right, yes. For what purpose, Mr Potter? 149 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,120 Eh? What did you take her out there for? 150 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,680 Well... I dunno... We just sort of felt like it. 151 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,160 Felt...like...it. Felt like what? 152 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,160 I wouldn't like to say, Sergeant. I'm asking him! 153 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,960 Well, Mr Potter? Well, we - we just felt like 154 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,360 getting a bit of fresh air... and that. 155 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,560 I see. 156 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,840 Getting a bit of what? Fresh air and that. 157 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,880 What's that? Same as the other! 158 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,160 Oh, I see. Well, Mr Potter, 159 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,200 you took her into the woods. 160 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,240 How far did you go? 161 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,480 Oh, not far - I've only known her a year. 162 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,800 Don't put that down! 163 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,840 No, what I meant was, er... 164 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,600 how far did you get...into the woods? 165 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,760 Oh! Oh, not very far. Just to this little clearing I know. 166 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,760 Do you happen to know what Doris was wearing? 167 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:05,320 Yes. Um...a sort of, er... white frilly blouse, 168 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:10,320 with a...a dark green jacket, and a long green skirt. 169 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,440 Did you get that down? Ooh, no. As I said, 170 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,480 I've only known her a year. I'm talking to my assistant! 171 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,600 Don't worry, Sergeant. Got it down. 172 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,480 Good. 173 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,840 So that's all you can tell us, Mr Potter? 174 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,880 There is one thing. 175 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,120 I - I found this where she'd been sitting. 176 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,080 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What have we here, then? 177 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,360 I'd say it was a finger, Sergeant. 178 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,400 I know it's a finger! 179 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,520 Is it...one of...hers, Mr Potter? 180 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,920 Of course not! What sort of girl do you think I go out with? 181 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,800 Right! Take that down to the lab. I want a full report first thing. 182 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,360 Yes, Sergeant. On your way, stop off at the desk 183 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,480 and enquire, has anybody reported the loss of a finger this evening? 184 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,520 Yes, of course, Sergeant. 185 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,560 Why didn't I think of that? 186 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,440 Now, Mr Potter. 187 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:17,320 I want you to show me exactly where you and the young lady were. 188 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,360 Through here. Slobotham... 189 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,000 Slo... Sergeant? 190 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,840 You stay here. 191 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,840 All by myself, Sergeant? Yes, all by yourself. 192 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,840 If I require any assistance, 193 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,240 I shall give three sharp blasts. Got it? 194 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,720 Yes, Sergeant. Blast, blast, blast. I beg your pardon. 195 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,400 On my whistle. (WHISTLES) 196 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,160 Immediately on hearing that, you will surround the entire area. 197 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,640 I can't surround the entire area by myself, Sergeant. 198 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,920 Excuses, excuses. Always excuses! 199 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,600 (RUSTLING) 200 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,480 Why don't you fellas get married? It's much easier. 201 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,760 That's where we were. 202 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,760 A-ha! 203 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,240 Is that you, Sergeant? 204 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,960 How do you do? 205 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,400 (SNIFFS) Do you notice it? What? 206 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,440 It smells as if something's been dead too long. 207 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,480 Well, don't look at me. 208 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,800 Peculiar. Very peculiar. 209 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,440 Was it here before? 210 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,920 I didn't notice it. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes! 211 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,480 What could it be? 212 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,680 I don't know. Let's get back to the station. 213 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,280 (HOOTS HORN) 214 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,040 Slobotham! Where are you? 215 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,760 Slobotham, where are you? 216 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,800 Look! 217 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,240 Aaaaargh! 218 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,680 What's the matter with you? It's me! 219 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,160 Oh, I'm sorry, Sergeant. I thought it was that horrible thing again! 220 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,800 What horrible thing? 221 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,360 I don't know. It was something unspeakable. 222 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,800 Unspeakable? Yes. Never said a word. 223 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,960 It came out of the woods, straight at me. Big, glaring eyes. 224 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,120 Long, pointed teeth. Ten feet tall! 225 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,880 Did you notice anything unusual about it? 226 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,160 There was a horrible smell. Like dead fish, it was. 227 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,080 Dead fish? 228 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,280 Have a look round, Potter. Right. Er...no. 229 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,000 You look around. You're the great detective. 230 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,760 I intend to. 231 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,480 In the morning. I've got important things to do at the station. 232 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,320 Why are we stopping here, Sarge? There's a house! 233 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,640 He's right, you know - it IS a house! 234 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,680 Marvellous, but we're not looking for a house, 235 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,880 we're looking for Doris. Yes, but it's the middle of the woods. 236 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,560 They may have heard or seen something suspicious. 237 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,640 We can't leave any stone unturned. 238 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,840 What's this road called, Slobotham? Avery Avenue. 239 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,880 Then we must explore...Avery Avenue. 240 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,760 There's a notice here. What's it say? 241 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,400 Just a minute. 242 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,120 Bide-a-Wee Rest Home. 243 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,160 Come on, let's go inside. 244 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,120 Please knock. 245 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,520 (SLOW FOOTSTEPS) 246 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,440 (CREAKS) 247 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,920 Yes? 248 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,080 Good evening. 249 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,040 Could I see the master of the house? 250 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,760 The master of the house is dead, sir. 251 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,480 He's been dead 15 years now. 252 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,920 But if you'll come in, I'll ask him if he can see you. 253 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,960 Ye-e-es. 254 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,960 If it's not too much trouble. 255 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,120 This way, sir. 256 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,720 If you'll wait in here, 257 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,280 I'll go and talk to the master. 258 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:45,880 Er...I thought you said he was dead? So he is. 259 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,840 That should be a conversation worth hearing. 260 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,880 (SNIGGERS) 261 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,600 How about this? 262 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,840 Must be the mistress of the house. 263 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,800 I say, Sergeant...notice anything unusual about that woman? 264 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,400 No...what? The eyes. 265 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,280 They seem to be alive. 266 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,320 KNOCK AT DOOR 267 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,480 (KNOCK) Come. 268 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,720 I'm sorry to disturb you, miss, 269 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,320 but some gentlemen are here. 270 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,320 Yes, I was looking at them, Sockett. What do they want? 271 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,360 They wish to see the master, miss. 272 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,480 My brother is dead, Sockett. Don't you understand? 273 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,760 He's dead. Oh, yes, miss. 274 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,160 I did tell them that. 275 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,840 Then why are they still here? Well, I'm afraid I forgot myself 276 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,880 and told them he might see them. 277 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,800 Did I do wrong, miss? Oh, Sockett! 278 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,840 I'm terribly sorry, miss. 279 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,480 You won't... 280 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,760 You won't send me back... 281 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,640 there...? I should do, Sockett. 282 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,120 If only you weren't so necessary to me! 283 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,480 Enough! Let me go. 284 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,360 Go now. I have to get my brother up. 285 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,720 (CREAKS) 286 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,320 (BUBBLING) 287 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,160 (CRACKLING AND HUMMING) 288 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,520 What time is it? 289 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,000 Just past December. I told you not to call me 290 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,880 till the beginning of March! Orlando, this is an emergency. 291 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,960 There are some men to see you. I can't see anyone in my state. 292 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:33,360 I'm nowhere near regenerated yet! You will just have to, my darling. 293 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:37,400 I think they're police officers. Police officers? What do they want? 294 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,360 We've done nothing wrong... 295 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,640 have we? Oh, I don't know! 296 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:45,320 I sent Oddbod out this evening. Oh, dear! Hasn't he come back yet? 297 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,160 Yes, he's come back... Oh. 298 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,600 ..but one of his fingers is missing. 299 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,080 I hope he didn't leave it anywhere embarrassing! 300 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,880 That's what I'm afraid of. 301 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,000 I sent him back for it, but he was disturbed. 302 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,080 So would you be with a finger missing. 303 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,960 That's the trouble with my regenerative process - 304 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,680 it makes everything so brittle. You never know what's going to drop off. 305 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,600 Be serious! If they found that finger, it could be very awkward. 306 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,360 Yes, I'd better go and see them, I suppose. 307 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,600 Don't go without your portable booster. 308 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,400 You've only had 1,000 amps. They would come tonight, 309 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,480 just when I'm feeling half dead. 310 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,440 Wha-a-ahhh! 311 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,640 What is it? What happened? 312 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,200 Oh, lumme! It's only a mummy. 313 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,720 My mummy? With a BEARD? They didn't only do it to women. 314 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,840 Their men got pickled, too. 315 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,440 Ah, gentlemen. I see you're admiring my Pharaoh. 316 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,600 He was the founder of the fourth dynasty, you know. 317 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,600 King Rubbatiti. How very interesting, sir. 318 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,000 Ye-e-es. I've often thought how fascinating it would be 319 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,160 to make him live again. I'd bet he could tell us a thing or two, eh! 320 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,600 All those barge orgies on the Nile. 321 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,800 No wonder they kept finding things in the bulrushes! 322 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,800 Would you be the master of the house? 323 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,720 That's right, yes. 324 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,360 I only ask because your butler informed us you were dead. 325 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,640 You don't want to take any notice of him. 326 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,280 A young lady has disappeared. We're anxious to trace her whereabouts. 327 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,920 Oh? Whereabouts? Hereabouts. 328 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,640 At ten o'clock. Or thereabouts. 329 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,360 In this vicinity. Or roundabouts. 330 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,600 We're police officers. Or layabouts (!) 331 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,600 That, sir, you may have surmised, is a member of the public 332 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:50,160 who's been giving us some right cooperation. I just wondered, sir, 333 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,400 if you happened to see or hear anything suspicious this evening? 334 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,280 Oh, no. I haven't heard or seen anything for weeks. 335 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,960 I've been...away, you see. Will you say that in a statement? 336 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,280 I just did, didn't I? I'd like my assistant to get it down 337 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,360 just to get it on the record, sir. 338 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,400 Now, first of all, your name, please. Doctor Watt. 339 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,440 Doctor who, sir? Watt. 340 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,120 Who is my uncle, or was. I haven't seen him for ages. 341 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,400 We appear to be at loggerheads, sir. No, no, this is Bide-a-Wee. 342 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,960 Loggerhead's about five miles down the road. 343 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,920 No, no - about your name. Watt! 344 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,000 What's your name? Watt's his name! 345 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,560 That's what I'm trying to find out, Sergeant. 346 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,560 Nothing but excuses! Just get the statement down. 347 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,360 "I haven't seen or heard anything suspicious in the vicinity tonight." 348 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,760 You, too, eh? I'm so glad it wasn't just me who didn't. 349 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,560 Sir, we won't take up any more of your valuable time. 350 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,760 You're most cooperative. Not at all! 351 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,880 I'm only too glad to help at any... ti-iii... 352 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,080 What's the matter, Doctor? Just a bit run down. 353 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,880 If you'll just plug this into the socket... 354 00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:00,200 What's happening, Sergeant? Oh, lumme, look! He's going away. 355 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,760 Well, don't just stand there. Plug it in! 356 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,360 Oh, crikey! Now he's coming back! 357 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,080 Ahhh, that's better. Now, where was I? 358 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,160 Well, sir, you was sort of coming and going in quite a - 359 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,760 What's the matter with you two? Come back here! 360 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,040 Didn't you see what he did? Yes. He's right, Sergeant. 361 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,360 There's something not right about him. 362 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,840 Don't be so silly! He's just an eccentric, that's all. 363 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,800 I saw through him at once! So did we! That's the trouble. 364 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,280 (MAD CACKLING LAUGHTER) 365 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,320 Oh, Gawd! 366 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,520 Slobotham, you and I, as respectable officers of the law, 367 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,920 are going to walk out of here with dignity. Slowly. 368 00:22:55,920 --> 00:23:00,440 (CACKLING) 369 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:17,600 Oh, Oddbod, if only you weren't so damned attractive... 370 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,040 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 371 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,200 They've gone. Good. 372 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,760 Did they suspect anything? Of course not! 373 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,760 I went out of my way to behave perfectly normally. 374 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,280 That should be all right, then, shouldn't it? 375 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,760 What did they want? Oh, something about a girl, 376 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,440 disappearing in the vicinity. Oh, the one Oddbod brought back. 377 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,800 Ohhh, he got one, did he? 378 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,080 Oh, ye-e-es! 379 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,800 Very nice. 380 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,960 I must say, he has very good taste. 381 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:01,440 We must vitrify her tonight and get her away first thing in the morning. 382 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,440 Aw, look! 383 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,040 It's started to work. Oh, yes! 384 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,080 It's regenerating very nicely. 385 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,640 Well, this is a nice time to be coming home again! Half-past six! 386 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,760 Don't start. I've been up all night looking for a woman. 387 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,080 That should be something you're good at. Looking for women. 388 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,120 I wouldn't say that. Last time I tried it I found you. 389 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,880 I dread to think where you'd have been without me. 390 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,680 You know something? 391 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,240 I watched a bloke disappear in front of my eyes tonight. 392 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,960 I was just wondering 393 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,320 why couldn't you do something useful like that? 394 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,840 Oh, you'd like to get rid of me, wouldn't you? 395 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,680 Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you? Emily... Dear Emily... 396 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,720 ..shut up! Oh...! 397 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,480 What have you done? 398 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,600 Taken it down! 399 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,320 Do you realise you have cut me off in my prime? 400 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,880 How are they going to call me when they want me? 401 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:06,440 That's your worry! I'm going to get the sleep it's been depriving me of! 402 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,120 (PHONE RINGS) 403 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,760 Aaaaargh! (LAUGHS) 404 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,800 Y-Y-You forgot to disconnect the wires! 405 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,840 That'll teach you! 406 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,800 Hello? (LAUGHS) 407 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,280 Oh, Slobotham... 408 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,520 No, we weren't doing anything. 409 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,520 What? Good! 410 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,600 Oh, strewth! Try and stay awake till I get there. 411 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,680 You're not going out again? No, I'm going to tread grapes. 412 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,040 Woo! That's lovely, that is! 413 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:43,720 Do you realise I've had a full two minutes of your company 414 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,040 This is a real red letter day, isn't it? 415 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,720 I must remember to make a note of it in my diary! 416 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,720 I'm wanted down at the station. 417 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,000 Oh, yes, you would be! Put them before me! 418 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,360 I wonder you don't marry the police force and have done with it! 419 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,600 And miss all the fun I've had with you? 420 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,160 I don't know why you bother coming home at all! 421 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,240 Stay at your police station. Let them look after you! 422 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,720 See if they'll give you what you got from me! 423 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,680 It's been so long since I've had anything from you, 424 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,080 I've forgotten if it's worth having. 425 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,640 Fingers I Have Known. No... 426 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,920 Fanny Hill. No, that won't... 427 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,960 Ah, here it is. Origins Of Man. 428 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,600 Ever read this book? Here, look at this. 429 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,000 Homo gargantuoso. 430 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,560 Ah. Homo gargantuoso. Here it is. 431 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,760 Well, the finger LOOKS the same! Aye, that's the one, all right. 432 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,280 It's extinct now, of course. Are you saying that - 433 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,720 this finger's come off something that's been dead for 500 years? 434 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,800 No doubt about it. Dead as a doornail. 435 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,640 Doc, you must be wrong! It came off something that was alive last night. 436 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,120 We can very soon prove it. We can prove if it was living membrane, 437 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,520 by giving it a strong electrical charge. 438 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,640 Well, do that, will you? Sarge, we've got a lead. 439 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,840 This just came through my letter box. 440 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,760 "If you want to know what happened to Doris Mann, 441 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,360 "I can tell you. I am the cloakroom attendant at the one by the park, 442 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,800 "and you can see me any time at my convenience." 443 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,800 Let me see that! Is it genuine, Sarge? 444 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,200 I don't know. It's unusual notepaper... 445 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,240 perforated at both ends. 446 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,280 Could be! Come on. 447 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,080 They've just come out. Let's see what they're up to. Good idea. 448 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,320 (MUSIC PLAYS) 449 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,240 # Da-dah...di-dee... 450 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,280 # Da-dah...di-dee... # 451 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,880 Oh, hel-lo! 452 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,240 Morning, gents. Like a nice wash, would you? 453 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,280 Er...ta. Help yourselves. 454 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,720 I got your note. 455 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,400 Oh! You're the young fella who was with that girl, aren't you? 456 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,960 Yes. What do you know about it? Plenty. 457 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,240 But it'll cost you a bit. 458 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:48,280 All right, all right! That'll be quite enough of that sort of talk. 459 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,040 Who are you pushing? 460 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,360 I'm a police detective. I must warn you, 461 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,760 I shall take down anything you say. All right! Trousers. 462 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,600 All right, Slobotham, I'll take over. 463 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,640 Forgive him. He's a bit new. 464 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,280 There's no need for anyone to get excited, is there? 465 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,760 No. Mr, erm...? Dann. 466 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,520 Daniel Dann. Dan Dann. Yes. 467 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,360 That IS a funny name for someone in this job, isn't it? 468 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,680 Yes. We just want a friendly little chat, 469 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,360 Mr Dann. Well, shall we go to my little room? 470 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,520 Make yourselves at home, gents! 471 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,280 Well... This IS an nice place you have here, Mr Dann. 472 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,120 Yes... (CHUCKLES) 473 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,240 There's something to be said for it. 474 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,120 I live in a man's world. 475 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,480 Well, Mr Dann, about this note you sent to Mr Potter. 476 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,600 It's very important. Ah... 477 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,520 Mrs Peabody. 478 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,480 Hello! Mrs Peabody! 479 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,360 Nice woman. Her husband's a customer of mine. 480 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,000 Yes, very interesting, but - 481 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,040 You know, I can honestly say 482 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,840 that I know everyone who goes past here intimately. 483 00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,440 Yes, I would say that business here is definitely, er... looking up! 484 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,640 No stockings! 485 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,320 She never wears 'em. Mind you, I see worse. 486 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:10,360 A Scotsman goes past here in a kilt. You wouldn't give it credence. 487 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,000 Ahem! Mr Dann, Sergeant Bung is trying to ask you some questions. 488 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,840 All right, all right, all right! 489 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,640 We want to know where Doris is. 490 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,800 Yes, I'm sure you do. 'Er and the others. 491 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,400 "And the others"? What do you know, Mr Dann? 492 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,840 I was working out at a place near Hocombe Woods as a gardener. 493 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,080 Bide-a-Wee? That's the place. 494 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,120 Not a bad job. Well paid. 495 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,560 They're talking to Dann! Dann? 496 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,880 Dan Dann, the gardening man - you know! 497 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:57,040 Oh...that could be VERY awkward! We must silence him. 498 00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:59,920 Oddbod... 499 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,760 Mind you, I'm not saying what happened to Doris 500 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,440 isn't what happened to the others. But it looked very suspicious to me. 501 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,840 Yes, yes, Mr Dann, for goodness' sake - what happened to the others? 502 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,680 I was just coming to that. I saw - (FOOTSTEPS ABOVE) 503 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,000 'Ello... 504 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,880 Who's that, then? Must be a stranger round here. 505 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,040 Did you see those dirty great plates? 506 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:29,200 Mr Dann, please... WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE GIRLS? 507 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,280 All right, all right, all right! I was telling you. I saw - 508 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,760 (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) Sounds like a customer. 509 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,240 I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me, gents. 510 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,480 How long's he going to be? 511 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,520 Morning, sir. Nice day - 512 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,560 (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR SLAMS) 513 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,600 (TOILET FLUSHES, DOOR SHUTS) 514 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,200 I don't like the sound of that! Nor me... 515 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:58,760 Come on! 516 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,640 Dann, Dann, where are you? Sergeant! 517 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,480 Look... 518 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,160 Open it, quick! 519 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,520 Just a minute. Just a minute! 520 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,160 Don't look. 521 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,320 Is he...? Drowned. 522 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,200 (MUTTERS AND HUMS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 523 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,560 (WHIRRING) 524 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,320 What an extraordinary thing! 525 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,120 (LOUD THUD) Blimey, now what?! 526 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,160 Sergeant... Look! 527 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,920 Ugh. Don't look. 528 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,720 You looked! 529 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,880 There, she's ready for delivery. 530 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,520 Yes, quite the best one we've done so far. 531 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,840 Pretty, too. Seems such a waste. 532 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,240 Oh, nonsense. Living, she'd just have got old and fat. 533 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:16,160 But like this, she'll stay young and beautiful for ever. 534 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,960 Yes, but not half so much fun. 535 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,360 Put the lid on. I'm going to raise Oddbod. 536 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,720 Excuse me, dear. 537 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:43,360 Now, listen, Oddbod. Take that crate up to Sockett. 538 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,000 Do you understand? Mm-hm. 539 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,560 And then go out and get me another girl. 540 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,600 Gently does it. We don't want it to arrive broken. 541 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,560 Do we have to do another one tonight? 542 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,320 I feel quite run down. 543 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,840 I'm afraid we must. We're behind with the orders. 544 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,880 Oh. Well, I've just got time for a quick...charge. 545 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,480 Yes, just do me up, will you? 546 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,760 Oh, luxury. 547 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,360 All right. 548 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,920 (WHINES) 549 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,600 (WHIMPERS) 550 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,640 Orlando! 551 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,200 (SHRIEKS) 552 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,160 What are you doing? 553 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,240 You might have killed me. 554 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:29,640 I'm terribly sorry, but look. 555 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,720 Oddbod, what are you doing back here? 556 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:35,320 Haven't you noticed? He's naked. Of course I've noticed. 557 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,040 Oddbod! Oh, it's disgusting! 558 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,280 Put something on, you filthy beast. 559 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:47,160 Oh, isn't it sickening? One never gets a minute's peace around here. 560 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,920 What's the matter with you? Making an exhibition of yourself like that? 561 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,920 Most uncivilised. 562 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,240 Orlando, this isn't Oddbod. 563 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,840 Of course it's Oddbod. I ought to know. 564 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,040 I was the one that found his body and brought him back to life. 565 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,560 No, it isn't. It's Oddbod's finger. 566 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,480 This whole thing has been regenerated from it, don't you see? 567 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,400 The body's cells have built themselves up again. 568 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,880 Good heavens, it's worse than rabbits. 569 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,000 Talk about pulling your finger out. 570 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,120 Orlando, did you do this? 571 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,680 Of course not. I've never seen the thing before. 572 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,000 Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure! 573 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,760 If that's the case, someone else must have subjected the finger 574 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,680 to an electrical charge. I don't like it. 575 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,200 Neither do I. This thing is getting bigger than both of us. 576 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,760 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 577 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,520 I knew it. It's the police. We're done for. 578 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,520 Why did I ever meddle in this horrible business? 579 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,760 I was happy enough as a simple chemist making liver pills. 580 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,480 They never did anyone any harm. 581 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,160 Well, not if taken in moderation. 582 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,120 Of course, if you overdid it... 583 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,640 Oh, for heaven's sake. Pull yourself together. 584 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,200 I'll see who it is. You look after him. 585 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,400 It's all very well for her to say, "Pull yourself together". 586 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,720 But look what happened to Dr Frankenstein and Dr Jekyll. 587 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:02,520 I was at school with them. 588 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,920 They always pinched my pocket money. 589 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,960 Said the change did them good. 590 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,520 I would like to see... 591 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,200 the master of the house. 592 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,600 I'm afraid my brother is resting. Will I do? 593 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,160 Will you do...? What, miss? 594 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,000 Perhaps you'd better come in. 595 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,280 There must be something I can do for you. 596 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,720 That would be highly co-operative of you, miss. 597 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,800 Will you come this way? 598 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,440 Do please sit down. 599 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:57,920 No. 600 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,080 Here. 601 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,640 We can make contact better. 602 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:09,040 Oh, and do call me Valeria. 603 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,880 Valeria, miss. 604 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,080 That is an unusual name. 605 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,160 You haven't told me your name. 606 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,840 Bung, miss. Sergeant Bung. Bung? 607 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,000 Bung. 608 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,960 Bung, Bung, Bung, Bung. 609 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,080 That's a very fitting name. 610 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:31,000 Yes. My first one is Sidney. 611 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,360 And what is it that you want... Sidney? 612 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,280 A man was killed under mysterious circumstances this morning. 613 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:44,120 It appears he used to work for you as a gardener. 614 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,000 Drowned, he was. 615 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,880 Drowned...in a couple of minutes. 616 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,480 Name of Dann. 617 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,760 Dan Dann, the... 618 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,720 Forgive me. 619 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:05,360 I just had to do that. 620 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,080 It's all right, miss. 621 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,880 We are here to be of service to the public. 622 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:16,320 Yes, but I don't think you're very experienced in the ways of love. 623 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:20,720 If you want to know the way, ask a policeman. 624 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:24,480 I find you very fascinating, 625 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,600 Sidney. 626 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,240 Would you show me your whistle? 627 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,440 Of course, miss. 628 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,480 It's not much of a one, I'm afraid. 629 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,080 Nonsense, I think it's a beautiful one. 630 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,360 May I blow it? 631 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,480 (SILENCE) The pea's gone. 632 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,120 I'm afraid I got overexcited once and I breathed in. 633 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,120 Poor Sidney. 634 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,960 Go on. Show me how you got overexcited. 635 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,080 I have come here, miss, to perform a duty. 636 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,280 Well, get on with it. I haven't got all night, you know. 637 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,600 If I could just have the answers to some questions first. 638 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,400 Well, all right. 639 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:22,040 I'm sure I know all the answers. I'm sure you do, miss. 640 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,480 You must learn to relax more, Sidney. 641 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,800 Take things as they come. 642 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:31,800 Come on. Sit beside me for a moment. 643 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,760 There you are. 644 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,120 See? 645 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,240 Now, that's much more comfortable, 646 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:51,640 isn't it? Very much so, miss. 647 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,040 What must you think of me? 648 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,280 I'm a terrible hostess. 649 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,760 I haven't offered you a thing. I wouldn't say that, miss. 650 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,520 Do you drink? Not on duty, miss. 651 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,080 Do you smoke? Not on duty, miss. 652 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,760 Do you mind if I smoke? 653 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,640 No, of course not, miss. 654 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,680 Thank you so much. 655 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:25,720 And I was trying to give it up. 656 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,840 Boo! Oh, good morning, Sergeant. 657 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,880 I didn't expect you so soon. 658 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:48,320 That's all right, Slobotham, old chap. 659 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,400 Put your feet up. Carry on. 660 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,560 Is anything wrong, Sergeant? No, everything's fine. Just fine. 661 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,920 What's all this? Er, this. 662 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,520 I've been examining the files on missing persons, 663 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,800 and I've discovered a remarkable similarity amongst them. 664 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,120 That's not so surprising, Slobotham. 665 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,480 We buy all our files at the same shop. 666 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,240 No, I mean a similarity in cases, Sergeant. 667 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,000 Oh, I see. 668 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,360 Oh, you don't want to bother about the cases, Slobotham. 669 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:21,320 You've got to learn to relax more. Take more things as they come. 670 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,200 That's what gets results. 671 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,960 How did you get on last night? Very nicely. 672 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,240 Very nicely indeed. Then, you did learn something. 673 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:30,960 Not half. 674 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,160 I think I'm onto something good, there. 675 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,600 Yes, I thought so. I've always thought 676 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:39,160 there was something not quite right about that house, sir. 677 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,000 Something about Dann, was it? 678 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,960 Who? Dan Dann. 679 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,560 (CHUCKLES) 680 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,280 Sergeant... Are you all right? 681 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,840 Excuse me, Sergeant. You're wanted. Oh! What for? 682 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,000 Mr Potter's in trouble again. Seems he's run amuck. 683 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,960 Wrecked a millinery shop down the road. 684 00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:03,040 Good for him! (LAUGHS) Come on, Slobotham. 685 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,160 I've never seen anything like it. 686 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:10,280 Completely wrecked my window and almost killed poor Mr Vivian. 687 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,320 I had to draw the blinds! 688 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,640 I can't have that sort of thing going on here. 689 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:18,000 Well, well, well. What have you got to say about this? 690 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,520 It's her, I tell you. It's my Doris. 691 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:24,840 Oh, come on now. It's only a dummy. It is not a dummy! It's her! 692 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,320 All right. We'll take your word for it 693 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,720 that it looks like Doris. 694 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:31,440 It IS Doris. I ought to know. 695 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,520 I've been going out with her for a year. 696 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,960 Mr Potter, you just come over here with me. 697 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,160 Now, does that sound like Doris? 698 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,560 Well, I don't know. I've never hit her with a pipe. 699 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,200 Look! She's solid - like a rock. 700 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,280 Go on, feel it for yourself. Go on, feel it. 701 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:52,760 Ooh, she's all cold. 702 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,040 Wouldn't you be, with nothing but your corsets on? 703 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,920 Wait a minute. I might be able to prove it's Doris. 704 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,240 All right, Mr Potter. How? 705 00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:06,680 Well, Doris had a little birthmark on her... 706 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,640 (WHISPERS) On her what? 707 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,640 Are you sure? 708 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,880 How do you know? 709 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,920 She told me. 710 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,680 All right, Mr Potter. If it's going to make you happy, 711 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,240 go ahead and look. What? In front of all these people? 712 00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:29,000 What do you think I am? 713 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,200 Some fool's got to do it. It isn't going to be me. 714 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,280 Slobotham. Ah, Sergeant. 715 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,160 I've got a little job of investigating for you. 716 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,440 Oh, what-ho, Sergeant? Should be right up your street. 717 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,200 Go examine that dummy. See if you can find a birthmark about that big. 718 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,640 Right, Sergeant. Where is it? (WHISPERS) 719 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,520 There? 720 00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,800 Oh, Sergeant. Do I have to? 721 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,800 You're a detective, you're supposed to be able to tackle anything. 722 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,840 Detect. 723 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,200 Sergeant, I've covered every aspect of police work, 724 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,240 but I've never been called on to tackle corsets before. 725 00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:18,600 It's very simple. You undo the laces, you... 726 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,480 It's just like...football boots. 727 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,560 You've taken football boots off. Not off a lady, Sergeant. 728 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,680 Get on with it. Oh, dear. 729 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,400 Oh... Sergeant. 730 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,240 Which one did you say the birthmark was on? 731 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:40,160 Slobotham, there are only two. 732 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,600 It's a simple process of elimination. 733 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,520 Yes, Sergeant. 734 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,840 There doesn't seem to be anything here. 735 00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,080 What-ho... There IS something here. 736 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,200 What did I tell you? Seems to be a little round - 737 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,280 Oh, dear. It's come off in my hand. Let's have a look at it. 738 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,000 "Made In England." 739 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:13,280 Now, Oddbod, are you with us again? 740 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,040 Yes! Oh, not now. 741 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,560 Come along, work to be done. 742 00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:23,680 Oh, dear. No rest for the wicked. 743 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,480 Oh, look at Oddbod Junior. 744 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,920 Sleeping like a baby. 745 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,960 (TALKS BABY-TALK) 746 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,080 Stop crooning, Orlando. Wake him up and put him to work. 747 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,680 Oh, we can't do that yet. He's not ready for it. 748 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,680 Not until he's been properly house-trained. 749 00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,600 This one must be vitrified tonight. 750 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,240 Oh, yes. Very nice. 751 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:56,520 What about removing any moles or birthmarks? 752 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,520 I've done that. Oh, yes. 753 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,680 I never get any of the interesting jobs. 754 00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:03,280 That will do. Oddbod. 755 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,360 See to the vat, will you, darling? Yes. 756 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,640 Just nice. 757 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,000 Let's see now. What does she weigh? 120lb. 758 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:38,960 Allow three minutes per pound. That's six hours at regulo 7. 759 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,600 All right, Oddbod. We're ready. 760 00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,000 Ah, well. Here goes - Please, Orlando. 761 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000 Please, please don't say it. 762 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,520 Say what, dear? You know perfectly well. 763 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,400 What you always say at this time. 764 00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,440 It's in extremely bad taste. 765 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,200 Oh, you mean "frying tonight"? 766 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,560 Oh, there are times when I really - 767 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,480 Oh, Miss Valeria. Yes, what is it, Sockett? 768 00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:38,080 That policeman's here again. The sergeant. 769 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,680 What's he doing here? What's he after? 770 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,600 The same as he was after last night, I imagine. 771 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,080 Oh? Information. 772 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,680 Oh, how I hate these law-abiding people. 773 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,160 Why can't everyone be thoroughly horrid like us? 774 00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,040 Yes, I will see him, Sockett. 775 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,600 This is awful. I wish I was dead. 776 00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,080 But, Orlando, you ARE dead. 777 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:03,240 What? Oh, yes, so I am. What a life! 778 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,840 "Made In England." 779 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,000 That's a coincidence. 780 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:24,920 (DOOR HANDLE RATTLES) 781 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:29,880 Sidney, how sweet of you to come back to see me so soon. 782 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,800 I had to come, Valeria. I've been thinking about you all day. 783 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:34,480 I'm intoxicated... 784 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,320 with your beauty. 785 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,360 Everything I see reminds me of you. 786 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,520 I can't get you out of my mind. 787 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:44,800 I look at my two inkwells, and I see your lovely eyes. 788 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,640 A letter box, and I saw your lips. 789 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:52,200 In the street there was a little boy playing with two balloons and - 790 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,720 Yes. Well, I think that's quite enough of that sort of talk. 791 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:59,280 I only meant like our two hearts floating away. 792 00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,160 Oh, forgive me. Forgive me. 793 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,320 My passion runs away with me. 794 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,640 That's enough. That's enough, Sidney. 795 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,880 Let's...let's sit down, shall we? 796 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,200 Yes, yes. 797 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,680 That's better. Now, tell me. 798 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,240 How are your investigations going? Oh, those! 799 00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:31,680 We thought we'd found the missing girl today, Doris Mann. 800 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,760 Oh? But it turned out to be a dummy in a shop window. 801 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,760 Mr Potter swore it was her. 802 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,760 Oh, how extraordinary. And was it? 803 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:44,320 How could it have been? It was only a dummy. 804 00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:48,120 It even had one of those, erm... Made In England labels 805 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:52,400 stamped on it, just like the ones you've got on the desk. 806 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:56,160 Forgive me, Sidney. I...I shan't be a moment. 807 00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:01,040 I've just remembered I've left something cooking. 808 00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:06,080 Orlando, they spotted the one we sent out yesterday in the shop. 809 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,920 I knew it. We're done for. 810 00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,280 Not yet. He doesn't know it's her. 811 00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,160 We can't afford to take chances. We must get her back. 812 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,160 Get her back? How can we do that? It would be stealing. 813 00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,200 I thought we might persuade Sergeant Bung to do it for us. 814 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,040 Him? Old Goody Goody? You must be mad. 815 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:24,640 Oh, we might get him over on our side for a while. 816 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:27,600 You know that prescription Dr Jekyll made up for you? 817 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,560 Oh, yes. That stuff. 818 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,200 But isn't it awfully risky? 819 00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,920 I mean, we still don't know the side-effects. 820 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,720 We don't want him having triplets. Here it is. 821 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,240 Nothing burnt, I hope. Burnt? 822 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:45,720 Oh, no, no, no, no. 823 00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,880 Er...everything was fine. 824 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,480 Shall we just have a little drink? 825 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,280 I'd better not, not on duty. Oh, please. 826 00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,240 I think both of us might become a little more friendly, no? 827 00:52:57,240 --> 00:53:00,160 Well, if you put it like that. 828 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,160 It's an old and rather unusual brandy. 829 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:13,520 It has a smoky flavour. 830 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,920 It has a smoky look, too. 831 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:20,840 Oh, to get the most out of it, it's best to take it down in one go. 832 00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:24,720 Well, here's to friendship. 833 00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:26,760 Ah. 834 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:34,440 Yes, 1870, a very good year. 835 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,440 Valeria, has it worked? I don't know yet. 836 00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:03,200 Ha-ha-ha! 837 00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,240 Oh, he looks absolutely lovely. 838 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,920 Very nice. 839 00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:16,880 Argh! 840 00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,120 Va-arrgh! Arrgg! 841 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,680 Sidney, Sidney. Sidney, listen to me. 842 00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,520 I must have a noggin of that myself. 843 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,840 Stop it, Sidney! Stop it. Sidney! 844 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:35,280 No, don't stop him, dear. He's SUPPOSED to do beastly things. 845 00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:38,280 Listen to me. I am your mistress. 846 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:41,200 Don't say that, dear! It will only make him worse. 847 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:45,120 You must obey my commands, you hear me? You must obey me. 848 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:51,080 Right. Now, there's something I want you to do for me. 849 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:55,120 No, not that. Now, listen to me. 850 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,200 And listen carefully. 851 00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:00,280 (STEPTOE & SON THEME MUSIC) 852 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:08,880 (THUD) 853 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,040 (FOOTSTEPS) 854 00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:20,000 Well, this is a nice time to come home again. 855 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,760 I don't know why you don't stay out all night. 856 00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,640 Oh, that's right. Try and look all innocent. 857 00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:28,520 If you could see yourself. You look disgusting. 858 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:32,560 Disgusting! Isn't it about time you got your hair cut? 859 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:36,560 I'm not going out with you looking like that. Oh, dear me, no. 860 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,640 Rrraaar! And just look at your teeth! 861 00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,920 You can't say I haven't asked you to go to the dentist. 862 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,920 For all I care, they can rot. 863 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,480 Rrraaar! Sidney Bung! 864 00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,720 You have been drinking. 865 00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:55,040 So, this is a step on the final path, is it? 866 00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,080 You can't say my mother didn't warn me. 867 00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,440 (SCREAMS) Watch my mother! 868 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:04,480 No! I'll get you! Oh, I'll get you! 869 00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,120 I'll get you if that's the last thing I do. 870 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:09,360 Get out of here! Get out! 871 00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:15,080 Go on! Get out! Get out! Get out! 872 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:21,840 (SNORES AND MOANS) 873 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,000 Water... 874 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,640 Ooh! Oh, blimey! 875 00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,680 Oh, my head! Oh! 876 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,760 Where am I? 877 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,800 Oh, strewth! 878 00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:43,840 What did I do last night? 879 00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,080 What happened? 880 00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,120 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 881 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,760 Argh! 882 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,280 All right, all right! Hang on! Hang on! 883 00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:57,760 Ow! 884 00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:59,720 (PHONE RINGS) 885 00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:08,040 Hello. 886 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,640 Just hang on a minute. 887 00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,600 Blimey. Who am I? 888 00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,280 Oh, yeah. 889 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:17,800 Sergeant Bung here, 890 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,320 Detective Sergeant Bung... 891 00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:23,040 I think. Who...? 892 00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,440 Oh, Slobotham. 893 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:31,560 Slobotham, Mrs Bung and I weren't doing anything. 894 00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,920 Kindly remember in future, to save time, 895 00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,040 that Mrs Bung and I never do anything. 896 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,840 Now, what do you want? 897 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,760 What shop broken into? 898 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:47,400 You don't say?! Look, I'll be right there. 899 00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,440 Now, don't touch anything. You understand? 900 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:52,120 Don't move. 901 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,120 Well, of course you can have a... 902 00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,720 (KNOCKING) Emily, 903 00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,800 you awake? 904 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:06,320 Get out, you disgusting creature. What's the matter with you? 905 00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,640 How dare you come home drunk and assault me? 906 00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:12,360 Assault you? Yes! You beast! Get out! 907 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:13,960 Go on, get out! 908 00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,000 You know what you did. 909 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,640 I'm gonna make you pay for it, don't you worry! 910 00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:23,240 Come here, you. I'm not finished with you yet. 911 00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:27,240 Well, what precise time would you say this happened, sir? 912 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,560 How should I know? I was only called out of bed half an hour ago. 913 00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:32,760 Crawled out... Called. Beg your pardon. 914 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,040 Called out of my bed half... Your bed, was that, sir? 915 00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:39,440 No, it was... What difference does it make whose bed it was? 916 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,240 It might make a difference to somebody, sir. 917 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:52,160 Glad you've arrived, Sergeant. 918 00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,680 Hello. What's happened here, then? 919 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,800 Oh, I'd say it's a pretty clear case of breaking and entering. 920 00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:01,560 No (!) 921 01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:04,440 This window's been broken, for a start. 922 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,200 You don't say? Oh, yes, I do. 923 01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,040 And then, there's the footprints inside. 924 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,840 What footprints? Inside. 925 01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:21,280 I was going to examine them closely for any distinguishing marks. 926 01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:23,160 Distinguishing? 927 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:27,120 Can you think of anything more distinguished than having six toes? 928 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:28,880 Six toes? 929 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,200 Is there anything missing, Mr Jones? 930 01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:32,960 Nothing, as far as I can see... 931 01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:34,600 except for the dummy. 932 01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:38,160 What dummy? The one the fuss was over yesterday. 933 01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:42,080 The one that looked like that man, Doris... that Doris Mann. 934 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:45,400 You haven't guessed who did it? I've only been on the job an hour. 935 01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:47,960 You take a week to think it over... 936 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,000 while I go and get him. 937 01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:53,720 For the last time, take your hands off me! 938 01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,360 What am I supposed to have done? 939 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,560 You tell me. What am I supposed to have done? It's a disgrace! 940 01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:04,800 You're assisting the police with their enquiries. 941 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:06,640 All right. Let him go. 942 01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:09,240 And I should think so, too. 943 01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,880 What's all this about? I'm supposed to be at work. 944 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,520 All right, Mr Potter. All we want to know is, where is it? 945 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:17,920 It's your police station. You ought to know. 946 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,480 No, not that. Where's the dummy? 947 01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:22,080 Dummy? What dummy? 948 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,320 The one you thought was Doris! The one you stole last night. 949 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:27,360 What? I never did any such thing. 950 01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:30,760 I suppose I took it? It definitely wasn't me. 951 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,320 All right, Mr Potter. 952 01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:36,840 If you want us to do it the hard way, take your boots off. 953 01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:39,960 What for? Never mind what for. Take them off. 954 01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:45,480 And your socks, as well. 955 01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,000 Now, what's all this about? 956 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,560 We're investigating a barefoot robbery. 957 01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,440 Are you sure those are your feet? 958 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,080 Of course they're mine. Whose do you think they are? 959 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,840 Sarge, there's only five toes. 960 01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,240 How many am I supposed to have? Six! 961 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:15,520 What have you done with the other one? 962 01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:19,280 I haven't done anything with it. So, you admit there was another one? 963 01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:21,360 I'm getting out of here. Just a minute, Mr Potter! 964 01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:22,920 Where were you last night? 965 01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,520 In bed. Any witnesses to corroborate that? 966 01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:27,200 My landlady. 967 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,320 Oh... Oh?! She came up with a bottle. 968 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:33,120 Sounds like a pretty loose-living place you lodge in. 969 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,760 She always comes up with a hot-water bottle. 970 01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:39,360 I beg your pardon. Suppose he and the landlady are in collusion. 971 01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,640 Don't be disgusting. She's over 60. 972 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,600 All right, you can go, Mr Potter. 973 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,680 Yeah? Well, I should think so, too. 974 01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,880 Talk about incompetent. You're a bunch of idiots. 975 01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,880 You ought to be looking for whatever it was that got Doris. 976 01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,560 That's what you should do. 977 01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:55,960 And if you're not going to, well, I will. 978 01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:57,840 So there. 979 01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:03,120 Very suspicious behaviour, Sergeant. Very suspicious. Quiet. 980 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,440 Something the matter with your back, Sarge? 981 01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,240 I'm thinking. Oh. 982 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:17,000 Maybe, Slobotham, we're approaching this case from the wrong angle. 983 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,560 Angle, Sarge. Yes. 984 01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:23,080 Let us, for a moment, sift all the facts. 985 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,200 Yes, let's have a sift. I'm all for a good sift. 986 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,040 Shut up. 987 01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:30,760 All these women who've disappeared, was it an accident? 988 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,520 Or do we assume foul play? 989 01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:35,640 Foul, Sergeant. Definitely foul. 990 01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:39,400 Right. Foul. 991 01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,400 And if it was foul play, 992 01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:44,720 what clues have we got to lead us to this conclusion? 993 01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:46,920 There were these enormous footprints. 994 01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:48,960 Yes, feet. 995 01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,600 Then there was a peculiar odour at the scene of the crime. 996 01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:55,080 Yes, smell. 997 01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,720 Then there's that thing you professed to have seen 998 01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,880 that squashed my hooter. Something horrible it was, Sarge. 999 01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,960 Some...thing 1000 01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:08,520 hor...ri...ble. 1001 01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:11,760 Anything else to go down? 1002 01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:15,520 That's just about it, Sarge. Let's look at what we've got. 1003 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,320 Foul...feet...smell... 1004 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,320 phwoar...something horrible! 1005 01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:30,200 Maybe we're still approaching this from the wrong angle, Slobotham. 1006 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:34,800 Now, let us assume that all these women were abducted 1007 01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:37,280 by this unknown thing. 1008 01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,480 Certainly some thing, Sergeant. 1009 01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:41,840 That leaves us with one course of action. 1010 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:48,720 Now, how would you set about catching a mouse? 1011 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,840 It's a bit bigger than a mouse, Sarge. 1012 01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:54,040 I'm not suggesting that this unknown thing is a mouse! 1013 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:57,760 I'm merely asking you how you would set about catching one. 1014 01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,480 Put a bit of cheddar on a trap. 1015 01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:02,320 That's it exactly. You'd set a trap. 1016 01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,920 But we don't use cheese. 1017 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:09,040 We bait our trap with a woman. 1018 01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,520 It'd be a bit heavy. When she sat - 1019 01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:14,080 I'm not suggesting we put a woman on a mousetrap. 1020 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,800 I wish I'd never mentioned this! 1021 01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:19,680 All we do is, we stick a woman in Hocombe Woods and lie in wait. 1022 01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,400 And then when the thing comes for her, we nab him. 1023 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,120 That's it - exactly. 1024 01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:25,840 At least I do. 1025 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,040 Just you, Sarge? What would I be doing? 1026 01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,080 Be sensible, Slobotham. We can't use a real woman. 1027 01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:33,240 Something might go wrong. 1028 01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:36,200 Yes, I get the point, Sarge. 1029 01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,440 So, instead, we will use someone 1030 01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:44,440 who looks as if HE is a woman. 1031 01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:47,960 What a brilliant idea, Sarge. Ho-ho! 1032 01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:50,000 Who did you have in mind, then? 1033 01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:03,560 Ah, there you are. 1034 01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,520 I...I... I do beg your pardon, madam. 1035 01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,280 I thought you were... I'm expecting... 1036 01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:13,120 Is he ready yet? 1037 01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:18,120 How about it? 1038 01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:20,160 Oh, really, madam... 1039 01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:24,040 On some other occasion, I might be delighted to avail myself. 1040 01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,080 Is he ready yet? Sarge? 1041 01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,120 It's me. Slobotham. 1042 01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:30,920 I'm afraid it's the best I could do, Mr Jones, 1043 01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,960 but even I have my limitations. 1044 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:37,040 Yes. Still it's, er... it's a nice, dark night. 1045 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,840 There. What did I tell you! 1046 01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:50,840 Oh, really, Mrs Parker, how could he? And with a shop girl! 1047 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:54,200 Hurry up. Get in! It's difficult in this uniform. 1048 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,240 (GARMENT RIPS) What was that? 1049 01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,600 I hate to think. If it's my upholstery, I'll kill you. 1050 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,160 Oh, good gracious me! What was it? 1051 01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:04,920 I don't know what they call them, but they've split. 1052 01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,760 Get in, darling. 1053 01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:08,800 Give us a bunk-up, son. Ooh! 1054 01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:14,560 Don't worry, madam, there's no wind tonight. (LAUGHS) 1055 01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:21,640 Now, follow them, see what they do. 1056 01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:23,680 See if I'm not right. 1057 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,360 Hmm...mmm...mmm. 1058 01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:43,400 No, no. 1059 01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,440 No, no, no, no, no. 1060 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,080 Why must you be so rough? 1061 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:49,120 Naughty Junior. 1062 01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:51,160 Don't you understand? 1063 01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,240 You don't have to strangle them. 1064 01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,760 One look at your face should be enough. 1065 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,200 I don't think he's ready for it yet, dear. 1066 01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,240 He must go out tonight. 1067 01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:02,920 All right. Oddbod, show him how YOU do it. 1068 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,960 There's a darling. 1069 01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:12,480 (GRUNTS IN UNDERSTANDING) 1070 01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,520 There, you see? 1071 01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:19,520 Gently does it. Oddbod, stop it! Oddbod! Oddbod, stop it! Oddbod! 1072 01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:21,640 Oh, dear. He's at it again. 1073 01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:23,680 Oddbod, drop. Drop! 1074 01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:25,560 Drop, I say! 1075 01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:27,520 Naughty Bod. 1076 01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,120 It's not natural, the way he carries on. 1077 01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:33,080 Don't be cross. He's just a bit overexcited. 1078 01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:36,440 Yes, he's over-something. Now, off you go, the both of you. 1079 01:08:36,440 --> 01:08:39,640 And don't come back empty-handed. 1080 01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:43,640 I only hope we're doing the right thing. 1081 01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:49,560 I do wish Junior would learn to use the door! 1082 01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,240 (ENGINE STOPS) 1083 01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:06,000 (TWANG) 1084 01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,480 Oh, blast it! Ooh! Ahh! Ssh! Ladies don't swear. 1085 01:09:09,480 --> 01:09:11,800 They would if they had these corsets on. 1086 01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,800 Ooh! It didn't half catch me. Come on, get out. 1087 01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:17,520 I hope there's nobody looking. Stop messing about. 1088 01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:19,280 (HOOTS HORN) 1089 01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,680 Right on the hooter. Oh - Sergeant, don't hit a woman. 1090 01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:28,080 Now, give me your hand. Eh? 1091 01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,440 We've got to make this look real. 1092 01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:34,360 You're not going to kiss me, are you, Sergeant? 1093 01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,400 To the woods. 1094 01:09:45,160 --> 01:09:49,040 They've stopped the car and have gone into the woods, ma'am. 1095 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,640 Wait here. 1096 01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:05,280 (WHISPERS) Yes. This is the spot. 1097 01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:13,840 Right. Get down. What for? 1098 01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:16,280 It's what Doris was doing when she copped it. 1099 01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,680 I'm not copping it. Get down. 1100 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:22,480 Wait a minute. Ooh! (GARMENT RIPPING) 1101 01:10:22,480 --> 01:10:24,600 Ooh. 1102 01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,080 (LAUGHS WEAKLY) 1103 01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:32,480 (BOTH GIGGLE) 1104 01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:35,080 What's so funny? I was just thinking... 1105 01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:40,240 Supposing my wife could see me now. 1106 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,640 (BELL TINKLES) 1107 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:06,240 How do you expect anything to go out of its way to have a go at you? 1108 01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:09,160 Look at you, sitting there like a bag of nutty slack. 1109 01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:12,120 I'm doing the best I can. It's not good enough! 1110 01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:14,160 Try and look a bit more... 1111 01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:16,640 seductive. I don't want to be seducted. 1112 01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:19,240 Abandoned, then. Oh. 1113 01:11:25,440 --> 01:11:27,480 I'd sooner have the nutty slack. 1114 01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:32,680 (SCREAMS) 1115 01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:36,920 (DISTANT SCREAMING) 1116 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,720 What was that? What was that? 1117 01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,960 I'm going to have a look. You stay here. 1118 01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:52,160 Don't leave me, Sergeant! Sergeant! 1119 01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:54,200 (WHIMPERS) 1120 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,440 Oh, thank heavens you're back, Sergeant. Oh... 1121 01:12:18,440 --> 01:12:20,360 What a smashing disguise. 1122 01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:22,400 Look at those teeth! 1123 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:24,440 Grrr! Grrr! (LAUGHS) 1124 01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:27,120 Grrr! Grrr! 1125 01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:33,160 HELP! 1126 01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:45,880 One, two, three, four, five, six! It wasn't me. 1127 01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:51,040 Let go! Let go! 1128 01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:55,120 Sergeant Bung! You...! 1129 01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,640 What do you want to scream like that for? 1130 01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,880 I didn't scream. I thought it was you. 1131 01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:01,480 Slobotham! 1132 01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:03,520 Slobotham! Slo...! 1133 01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:04,880 Slobotham? 1134 01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:06,800 Sergeant, look! 1135 01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:16,120 We've got to find Slobotham. 1136 01:13:16,120 --> 01:13:18,520 Footprints! Come on. 1137 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:33,920 # But leave a kiss 1138 01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:37,080 # Within the cup 1139 01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:43,200 # And I will not ask for wine... # 1140 01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,000 Now, this isn't going to hurt much. 1141 01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:50,880 Just a preparatory injection... 1142 01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:54,240 to get the old body cells going. 1143 01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:56,280 So, you be a brave mummy. 1144 01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,280 There. 1145 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:06,080 Didn't hurt much, did it, hmm? Just a little prick. 1146 01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:09,920 Now, let's see what happens, shall we? 1147 01:14:09,920 --> 01:14:11,680 Orlando? 1148 01:14:14,680 --> 01:14:18,040 Hello, Valeria. Orlando, what are you doing? 1149 01:14:18,040 --> 01:14:21,840 I'm just having another go at regenerating old Rubbatiti. 1150 01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:25,800 You know perfectly well it won't work. He's been gone too long. 1151 01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:29,280 I thought if I increase the electrical charge - 1152 01:14:29,280 --> 01:14:32,560 Oh, don't waste time, this is much more important. 1153 01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,240 Junior has brought one back. 1154 01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:38,720 We must vitrify her immediately. 1155 01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:43,320 Oh, dear. We never seem to have any fun any more. 1156 01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:56,920 Is this the best you could do? 1157 01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:59,960 What am I expected to do with this? It's a load of old rubbish. 1158 01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:01,800 I can sell it to Lacey's. 1159 01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:04,480 They deal exclusively with the matronly figure. 1160 01:15:04,480 --> 01:15:06,480 They'll have a fit when they see this. 1161 01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:08,520 Don't waste time. Inject her. 1162 01:15:08,520 --> 01:15:12,120 Yes, well, the target area is large enough. 1163 01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:14,240 Trouble is finding the bull. 1164 01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:19,640 Eeny, meenie, miney... 1165 01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,520 ..mo. 1166 01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:28,200 Aah! This one looks more like it. 1167 01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:30,840 Well done, Oddbod. 1168 01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:35,240 Very good! 1169 01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:40,200 What's happened to your ear? (MUMBLES) 1170 01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:42,560 Yes, well, ear today, gone tomorrow. 1171 01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:47,640 That's funny. 1172 01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:50,960 The footprints stop here. Unless it crossed the road. 1173 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:54,680 There's that house again. Let's see if they're all right. 1174 01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:05,480 Get the other one ready. This one will be finished in an hour. 1175 01:16:10,040 --> 01:16:13,160 (GASPS) What is it? 1176 01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:14,920 What's the matter? 1177 01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:17,040 It's a M-A-N. 1178 01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:19,080 A man? How do you know? 1179 01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:21,120 Well, after all, I'm a doctor! 1180 01:16:21,120 --> 01:16:23,720 But it's impossible. You must be wrong. 1181 01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:26,360 Oh, well, if you want a second opinion... 1182 01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:28,400 I don't understand. 1183 01:16:28,400 --> 01:16:30,560 Why should a man be dressed as a woman? 1184 01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:32,640 Perhaps his parents wanted a girl. 1185 01:16:32,640 --> 01:16:34,520 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1186 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:37,000 What's that? Don't panic. I'll see who it is. 1187 01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:44,600 (POUNDING ON DOOR) 1188 01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:48,360 I want to see Miss Watt. 1189 01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:52,280 I don't think that's possible. That's quite all right, Sockett. 1190 01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:54,320 Valeria, are you all right? 1191 01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:57,840 Well, yes, Sidney. I was just going to bed. 1192 01:16:57,840 --> 01:16:59,920 Don't! What? 1193 01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:01,480 Not on your own, I mean. 1194 01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:03,880 I beg your pardon? I mean... 1195 01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:07,000 it's not safe. Another woman disappeared tonight. 1196 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:09,040 Really? I mean... 1197 01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:12,400 Well, not a REAL woman. It was my assistant dressed as a woman. 1198 01:17:12,400 --> 01:17:15,440 I see. And whatever it was that took him, 1199 01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:17,200 it came this way. 1200 01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:20,640 It? I think it was some sort of monster. 1201 01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:24,800 This...came off it. This ear? 1202 01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:29,040 Yes. That there. Lock all the doors. I'll go for help. 1203 01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:31,960 No. Please stay with me. 1204 01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:34,040 Just for tonight, Sidney. 1205 01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:36,360 I couldn't do that. Could I? 1206 01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,800 I'd feel so safe if you stayed with me. 1207 01:17:38,800 --> 01:17:40,840 Yeah? 1208 01:17:41,880 --> 01:17:44,160 Just a minute. 1209 01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,920 Mr Potter. 1210 01:17:46,920 --> 01:17:49,680 I shall be spending the night with Miss Watt. 1211 01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:51,920 I don't blame you. 1212 01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:56,120 Would you go back to the station and tell them what's happened? 1213 01:17:56,120 --> 01:18:01,120 Oh, no. Mr Potter must stay too. Eh? 1214 01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:03,760 You are so big and strong. 1215 01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:09,040 Sockett? Show Mr Potter and Sergeant Bung to the waiting room, will you? 1216 01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:11,920 The waiting room? It's the room next to mine. 1217 01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:15,000 There's a communicating door, so that if I should call... 1218 01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:16,880 BOTH: I'll be there. 1219 01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:18,920 This way please, gentlemen. 1220 01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:24,520 Are you out of your senses, asking them to stay here? 1221 01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:28,000 What else could I do? Sergeant Bung is getting too dangerous. 1222 01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,880 We shall have to get rid of them. We can't get rid of them tonight. 1223 01:18:30,880 --> 01:18:33,400 What about the disposal of the bodies? 1224 01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:36,240 The dustman don't come till Friday. It's not my fault. 1225 01:18:36,240 --> 01:18:39,000 They've both got to go. Get Oddbod and Junior. 1226 01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:43,000 I can't. They're completely flat. I've just put them on a recharge. 1227 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,040 Well, in that case, Mr Clever, 1228 01:18:45,040 --> 01:18:48,160 we shall just have to use other means, shan't we? 1229 01:18:52,520 --> 01:18:55,120 Oh, him. Well, I suppose it's all right. 1230 01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:57,440 But it's an awfully dated method, you know. 1231 01:18:57,440 --> 01:18:59,520 Fangs ain't what they used to be. 1232 01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:01,560 Spare me. 1233 01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,600 Hello, darling. 1234 01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,160 (THUNDERCLAP) 1235 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:10,640 If he's Sergeant Bung's assistant, he ought to go too. 1236 01:19:10,640 --> 01:19:14,000 Why don't we do what they did to your friend Dracula? 1237 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,040 Drive a spike through his heart. 1238 01:19:16,040 --> 01:19:19,200 No. I don't really feel like driving tonight. 1239 01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:21,240 Shame. I know! 1240 01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:25,320 Why don't we start a new line in male dummies for the tailor shop? 1241 01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:27,360 I say! What a good idea? 1242 01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:29,960 If they can fit him, they can fit anyone. 1243 01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:33,040 Get Oddbod and Junior up, I'll get the woman out of the vat, 1244 01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:35,800 and we'll do him next. Right! 1245 01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:37,840 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 1246 01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:55,080 (GROANS) 1247 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:09,040 (THUNDERCLAP) 1248 01:20:39,040 --> 01:20:42,160 Do you mind! What do you mean, do I mind? 1249 01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:44,120 Stop poking me in the back. 1250 01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:46,200 Me poking YOU in the back? I like that! 1251 01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:49,600 Yeah, well, I don't! I get too much of that from the old woman. 1252 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:52,440 Keep yourself to yourself. 1253 01:20:52,440 --> 01:20:54,960 And the same to you. BOTH: Good night! 1254 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,040 (THUNDERCLAP) 1255 01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:03,160 THAT DOES IT! 1256 01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:06,960 I have had enough! 1257 01:21:06,960 --> 01:21:09,480 YOU'VE had enough, mate? What about me? 1258 01:21:09,480 --> 01:21:12,360 That's the trouble. I don't know about you. 1259 01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:16,360 I'm going to spend the rest of the night sleeping on the floor! 1260 01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:21,080 Arrgh! It's all right. Keep calm. 1261 01:21:21,080 --> 01:21:23,200 Arrgh! What's that? He's shot the snake. 1262 01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:26,320 As long as it wasn't the cat. Come on. 1263 01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,480 (CREAKING) 1264 01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:41,920 What's all the panic about? The snake's dead. 1265 01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:45,520 There's something funny going on. I'm getting out of here. 1266 01:21:45,520 --> 01:21:48,640 All right, then, go. Don't you worry, I'm going. 1267 01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:55,160 Changed your mind, have you? 1268 01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,200 There's something out there. 1269 01:21:57,200 --> 01:22:00,760 What? I don't know, but there's two of it. 1270 01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:02,760 You're imagining things. 1271 01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:04,840 No. All right. I'll have a look. 1272 01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:09,480 There you are. Look. 1273 01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:11,520 Arrrgh! 1274 01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:13,240 Let's get out of here! 1275 01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:16,760 The landing! 1276 01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:29,120 (SCREAMING) 1277 01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:35,560 It's jammed. Quickly, down the stairs. 1278 01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:40,240 Where are we? How should I know? 1279 01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:45,640 Ah! There's a door. 1280 01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,640 DR WATT: Go after them! 1281 01:22:56,640 --> 01:22:59,080 Don't let them get away, you silly things! 1282 01:23:00,200 --> 01:23:02,960 Ah! 1283 01:23:11,280 --> 01:23:12,600 Look! 1284 01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:19,080 Poor old Slobotham. 1285 01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:21,120 One of the finest men I ever had. 1286 01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:23,160 Sergeant! 1287 01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:25,200 It's you! It's him! 1288 01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:28,720 You great, steaming nit! Are you trying to frighten me to death? 1289 01:23:28,720 --> 01:23:32,240 I'm sorry. I thought it was those horrible things coming back. 1290 01:23:32,240 --> 01:23:34,680 It is those horrible things coming back! 1291 01:23:43,640 --> 01:23:47,200 They must have got out. Search the grounds. 1292 01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:56,080 Let's see if there's another way out. 1293 01:24:08,640 --> 01:24:13,080 Doris! It's not Doris. It's that dummy again. Listen! 1294 01:24:13,080 --> 01:24:14,800 I know it's her. 1295 01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,920 If we had a bit more light in here, you'd see that it wasn't. 1296 01:24:17,920 --> 01:24:21,000 There's a switch here, Sergeant. There. Ooh! 1297 01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:23,320 You've done it now! Now you HAVE done it! 1298 01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:26,400 Why don't you light a bonfire and let them know we're here? 1299 01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:29,000 Come on, let's get out of here. Wait! Look! 1300 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,800 Albert, you've been gone a long time... There you are. 1301 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,840 What did I tell you? It IS her. 1302 01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:35,880 I don't believe it! 1303 01:24:38,360 --> 01:24:40,120 Don't you dare! 1304 01:24:40,120 --> 01:24:42,280 I only wanted to see was she hard or soft. 1305 01:24:42,280 --> 01:24:44,960 Albert, where are we? Who are these people? 1306 01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:47,160 It's OK, darling. They're policemen. 1307 01:24:47,160 --> 01:24:50,120 Slobotham, I'm beginning to think he's right. 1308 01:24:50,120 --> 01:24:52,720 There is something funny going on here. 1309 01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:54,760 You don't know the half of it. 1310 01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:57,280 You should have seen that awful-looking thing 1311 01:24:57,280 --> 01:25:00,520 they pulled out of that vat. What awful-looking thing? 1312 01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:03,560 Ooh, I can't describe it. Ugh! It's in that crate over there. 1313 01:25:03,560 --> 01:25:05,880 I suppose we should have look at it. 1314 01:25:05,880 --> 01:25:07,800 For evidence. Yes. 1315 01:25:13,280 --> 01:25:17,360 Argh! Em-Emily! 1316 01:25:17,360 --> 01:25:19,400 Do you know her, Sergeant? 1317 01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:22,240 This awful-looking thing 1318 01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:24,280 happens to be my wife! 1319 01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:27,320 Oh, bad luck. Oh... (LAUGHS) 1320 01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:30,320 Oh, I mean, bad luck finding her here like that. 1321 01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:33,040 Never mind that. Help me to get her out of here. 1322 01:25:35,160 --> 01:25:37,640 Sergeant, she's as hard as a rock. I know that. 1323 01:25:37,640 --> 01:25:39,600 I've been married to her 15 years. 1324 01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,640 Give her a knock. 1325 01:25:44,760 --> 01:25:46,640 Blimey, so she is. 1326 01:25:46,640 --> 01:25:49,840 Let's get out of here. They'll be back any minute. 1327 01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:52,280 He's right. We've got to go and get help. 1328 01:25:52,280 --> 01:25:56,040 We'll be back for you later, Em. Albert! 1329 01:25:56,040 --> 01:26:00,600 Sorry. Stay where you are. Don't move. What am I saying? 1330 01:26:19,120 --> 01:26:21,160 (THUNDERCLAP) 1331 01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:30,960 Stand back, or we'll fire! 1332 01:26:34,360 --> 01:26:36,120 Straight through them. 1333 01:26:36,120 --> 01:26:37,920 They're not hurt. They're impregnant! 1334 01:26:40,360 --> 01:26:42,120 In there! Quick! 1335 01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:48,720 (POUNDING ON DOOR) 1336 01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:55,560 Slobotham! Come on, pull yourself together! 1337 01:26:55,560 --> 01:26:59,040 Oh, did you see it, Sergeant? It went right through it! 1338 01:26:59,040 --> 01:27:03,400 I'll go right through yours if you don't help me barricade this door. 1339 01:27:07,440 --> 01:27:09,720 Oh, Sergeant, it went through mine. 1340 01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:12,400 I knew we couldn't trust them in a crisis. 1341 01:27:12,400 --> 01:27:14,440 They're in there. 1342 01:27:14,440 --> 01:27:17,160 After them! After them! 1343 01:27:17,160 --> 01:27:20,000 Doris! Doris! Doris! 1344 01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:22,360 Brandy... Ah, brandy! 1345 01:27:26,360 --> 01:27:29,480 Don't just stand there, go through your own hole. 1346 01:27:29,480 --> 01:27:31,320 Come, Valeria. 1347 01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:47,480 Come on, get me more. Get another chair over that. Quickly! 1348 01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:51,320 Come on, lad. 1349 01:27:51,320 --> 01:27:53,200 Good lad. Good lad. 1350 01:27:53,200 --> 01:27:56,720 That should hold them. I'd like to see anybody get through that... 1351 01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:10,120 (GROWLS) 1352 01:28:11,880 --> 01:28:13,720 (GROWLS) 1353 01:28:21,320 --> 01:28:23,160 (STRAINING) 1354 01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:33,720 (STRAINING) 1355 01:28:43,400 --> 01:28:47,120 No. Wait a minute. I'm on your side. Don't hit me, I'm a woman. 1356 01:28:51,200 --> 01:28:56,440 He's changed again. Pity. I think I preferred him as he was. 1357 01:28:56,440 --> 01:28:58,480 Wh-What happened? You won. 1358 01:28:58,480 --> 01:29:01,640 By two falls and a submission. Come on, let's get out of here. 1359 01:29:01,640 --> 01:29:05,200 Ah... You thought you'd beaten me, didn't you? 1360 01:29:05,200 --> 01:29:07,720 You think this is for greenfly, don't you? 1361 01:29:07,720 --> 01:29:12,880 But it isn't, see? It's filled with petrifying liquid. And it works. 1362 01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:14,920 Well, who's going to be first? 1363 01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:25,120 Rubbatiti! I've done it! 1364 01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:29,640 He's come alive! 1365 01:29:29,640 --> 01:29:32,840 Oh, isn't he lovely? 1366 01:29:34,160 --> 01:29:36,200 What are you doing? 1367 01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:39,400 Why are you looking at me like that? It's me, Watty. 1368 01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:41,120 I'm your friend. 1369 01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:43,000 Rubbatiti! 1370 01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:45,600 Please help him. He'll kill him. You're joking. 1371 01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:47,400 Mummy! 1372 01:29:47,400 --> 01:29:49,400 Give me one good reason why should I help him. 1373 01:29:49,400 --> 01:29:51,000 I shall be very, very grateful. 1374 01:29:51,000 --> 01:29:53,920 That's a good reason! 1375 01:29:53,920 --> 01:29:58,280 No. I'm your friend, Rubbatiti. 1376 01:29:59,840 --> 01:30:03,800 Get away from me. This is the thanks I get for regenerating you? 1377 01:30:03,800 --> 01:30:07,360 Leave me alone. I'll send you back to Egypt. I promise. 1378 01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:10,840 First class. All expenses paid. You'll have a lovely trip. 1379 01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,000 Arrgh! 1380 01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:16,440 Oh...! 1381 01:30:20,440 --> 01:30:23,160 No! No! Aargh! 1382 01:30:25,480 --> 01:30:28,000 Don't look! 1383 01:30:28,000 --> 01:30:30,120 Aargh! 1384 01:30:33,640 --> 01:30:36,080 Frying tonight! Argh! 1385 01:30:59,320 --> 01:31:01,080 Mr Potter! 1386 01:31:01,080 --> 01:31:03,960 We wanted you to be the first to know, Sergeant. 1387 01:31:03,960 --> 01:31:08,640 Doris and me, we just got married. Well, congratulations. Thank you. 1388 01:31:08,640 --> 01:31:11,520 Well, you'd better come inside. Ooh. 1389 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:13,560 That IS good news. 1390 01:31:15,080 --> 01:31:17,720 Oh, you've met the wife. I have, yes. 1391 01:31:17,720 --> 01:31:19,760 How are you, Mrs B...? 1392 01:31:22,240 --> 01:31:25,320 She's still a dummy! Yes, I'm afraid so. 1393 01:31:25,320 --> 01:31:28,800 But, Sergeant, you can regenerate her, like we did Doris. 1394 01:31:28,800 --> 01:31:31,000 We've only got gas. 1395 01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:33,040 Are you ready for your tea, Sidney? 1396 01:31:33,040 --> 01:31:37,240 Yes, ta. Oh, and some for my friends, love. 1397 01:31:37,240 --> 01:31:39,520 Certainly, Sidney. 1398 01:31:39,520 --> 01:31:41,680 You mean, SHE'S looking after you? 1399 01:31:41,680 --> 01:31:44,320 That's right. Horrible, isn't it? 1400 01:31:49,080 --> 01:31:51,120 Subtitles by ITV SignPost 100139

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