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1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,121
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,456 --> 00:00:07,957
Hey, fellas, do me a favor.
3
00:00:07,957 --> 00:00:09,459
You guys have had a few drinks.
4
00:00:09,459 --> 00:00:11,461
Sit down. Let me buy you some coffee.
5
00:00:11,461 --> 00:00:12,462
Aw, th-thanks anyway, Sam,
6
00:00:12,462 --> 00:00:14,214
but everything's under control.
7
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,049
Pete hasn't had a thing
to drink all night.
8
00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:17,550
He's our designated driver.
9
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,053
Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
That's a good idea, Pete.
10
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,438
I'm not the designated driver.
11
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:25,358
I thought you were.
12
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,862
No, no, I-I'm not
the designated driver.
13
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,230
What about you, Mark?
14
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,699
I'm with Sam. I think we
ought to try it sometime.
15
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,703
Wait right here. I'm
gonna call you a cab.
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,711
Speaking of driving someone home,
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,080
since you've been drinking,
I'd be happy to give you a lift.
18
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:47,914
Oh, thanks, but, uh,
19
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,916
all I've been drinking is soda water.
20
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,418
Oh.
21
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,803
Well, in that case, Woody,
make me a double martini.
22
00:00:56,089 --> 00:01:00,477
One of us is getting
driven home tonight.
23
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,733
(piano plays)
24
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,235
? Making your way in the world today ?
25
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,237
? Takes everything you've got ?
26
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:14,240
? Taking a break from all your worries ?
27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,243
? Sure would help a lot ?
28
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:23,116
? Wouldn't you like to get away? ?
29
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,952
? Sometimes you want to go ?
30
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:30,957
? Where everybody knows your name ?
31
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:35,962
? And they're always glad you came ?
32
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:37,964
? You want to be where you can see ?
33
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:40,467
? Our troubles are all the same ?
34
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,970
? You want to be where
everybody knows your name ?
35
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:47,474
? You want to go where people know ?
36
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,977
? People are all the same ?
37
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,481
? You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ?
38
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
39
00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:15,485
Afternoon, everybody.
40
00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:17,487
ALL: Norm!
41
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:18,988
How are you today, Mr. Peterson?
42
00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:21,374
Never been better, Woody.
43
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:24,377
You know, just once
I'd like to be better.
44
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,880
What's the matter there, Normie?
45
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,882
You look a little, uh,
down in the mouth, huh?
46
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,383
I don't know, Cliff.
47
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,253
There's something missing
from my life, I think.
48
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,588
I mean, sure, I got, you know,
49
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:39,592
the nice wife, uh,
career, a house, but...
50
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:42,595
I guess I'm talking about
that spiritual something
51
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:45,398
that can kind of give
it all meaning, you know?
52
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:46,566
Enable me to be at peace
53
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,519
with myself and the world.
54
00:02:49,519 --> 00:02:52,238
Uh, The Miss Teeny Bikini
Beauty Pageant's on tonight.
55
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,656
Well, that ought to do it.
56
00:02:56,109 --> 00:03:00,113
? Da dum la de da dum... ?
57
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:04,117
? La de da dum... ?
58
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,120
Oh, isn't it a glorious day?
59
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,621
Well, it sure is, Miss Chambers.
60
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:12,625
Especially if you like
it cloudy and damp.
61
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,128
Woody, I'm not talking about
62
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,630
superficial things, like the weather.
63
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,133
I'm talking about the day.
64
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:25,138
Today is going to be the
most special day of my life.
65
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,140
Do you believe in intuition?
66
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,141
No.
67
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,144
But I have this strange
feeling that someday I will.
68
00:03:35,064 --> 00:03:36,065
Hi, guys.
69
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,451
Hey, Sammy!
70
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,370
What's the matter?
71
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,372
You got a weird look on your face.
72
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:45,792
I don't know if I should tell you.
73
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:46,793
Well, let me help you out.
74
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,161
Don't.
75
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,632
Well, Sam,
76
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,634
this morning I woke up with
77
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,636
the most overwhelming feeling
78
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:59,138
that you would propose to me today.
79
00:03:59,138 --> 00:04:02,642
Whew. Talk about fate.
Talk about coincidence.
80
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,143
You have the same feeling?
81
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,646
No, I just wish you'd talk
about fate or coincidence.
82
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,149
Anything but marriage.
83
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:13,152
Look, I am not gonna
propose to you, Diane.
84
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,021
I know this sounds crazy.
85
00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:19,409
It's not like me to be
given to mystical nonsense,
86
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:23,663
but the feeling is so strong.
87
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,949
It's an absolute certainty.
88
00:04:25,949 --> 00:04:28,451
Well, if it's fate, it's fate.
89
00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:30,336
Diane,
90
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,671
will you do me the honor of
91
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:34,674
becoming my
w-w-waitress?
92
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,175
(laughs)
93
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,180
Pretty good, huh?
94
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,182
Sam, will you give me a Cutty rocks?
95
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:45,184
Did you hear that?
96
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:47,020
Diane said she woke up
97
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,439
with this feeling that
I'm gonna propose to her.
98
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:50,940
The stupidest thing I've ever heard.
99
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:51,941
(loud clank)
100
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:52,942
Don't ever
101
00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:54,360
make fun of a woman when
102
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,896
she says she has a
feeling about something.
103
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,398
Sammy,
104
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,900
you're tampering with
the psychic world here,
105
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,285
and you're gonna be sorry.
106
00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:03,069
Oh, come on.
107
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,571
No, no, no, I'm serious.
108
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,573
It has to do with a woman's cycle.
109
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:11,077
See, somehow it's plugged
into the supernatural.
110
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,331
Oh, you're being ridiculous.
111
00:05:15,331 --> 00:05:17,133
No, no, Sammy, please.
Come here. Please.
112
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,135
What? Just promise me
113
00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:20,636
you'll be careful.
114
00:05:20,636 --> 00:05:23,139
Okay, I'll be careful.
115
00:05:23,139 --> 00:05:24,140
Thank you.
116
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,142
Oh, oh, oh, my God!
117
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,643
What? Ooh!
118
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:28,644
What?
119
00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:30,146
Something's happened to me here. What?
120
00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:32,648
Carla, get Diane over here.
121
00:05:32,648 --> 00:05:35,651
I'm gonna ask her to
marry me... buddy Norm!
122
00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:38,021
(laughs) Oh!
123
00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:39,405
That's twice, man.
124
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,912
Hey, there, Sammy! Today's my big day!
125
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:46,913
All right, Tom.
126
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,414
Will you marry me?
127
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,284
(laughs)
128
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,703
The results of the last
bar exam are due out,
129
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:54,704
and I'm feeling lucky.
130
00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:58,207
Hey, you know what they say,
eleventh time's the charm.
131
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,595
Okay, okay, okay, I had a
few problems in the past.
132
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,597
But this time, I really nailed it.
133
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,600
Tell me, Tom, is the
7-11 still giving out
134
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,553
a free Big Gulp with
every, uh, law degree?
135
00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:15,058
Hey, Tom, how come you're not downtown
136
00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:17,060
waiting for the old results, huh?
137
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,562
I got a friend calling me
here when they're posted.
138
00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:22,065
But I got a hunch I did
pretty well this time.
139
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,067
Yeah, like General
Custer had a hunch that
140
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,069
the Little Big Horn was a gift
shop and picnic grounds, huh?
141
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,704
Hey, hey, lay off.
142
00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:30,206
The guy's worked hard.
143
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:31,707
Woody,
144
00:06:31,707 --> 00:06:33,709
how about a beer for our
future barrister here? Okay?
145
00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:34,911
Thank you, Norm. All right.
146
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:35,745
So what, uh, what kind of law
147
00:06:36,245 --> 00:06:37,630
are you gonna specialize in there, Tom?
148
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,881
Specialize?
149
00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:41,250
So a free Big Gulp, you say, huh?
150
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,141
Sam, it doesn't have
to be a formal proposal.
151
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,642
Excuse me?
152
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,145
Well, we've already gone
the traditional route,
153
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:55,148
and I know how you
loathe long sentences.
154
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,150
I know you think I'm
gonna propose to you.
155
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,152
But, trust me, it's not gonna happen.
156
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,654
Before I ask you to marry me, Diane,
157
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:04,157
there'll be snowflakes
in hell, pigs will fly,
158
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,525
Norm will hate beer...
159
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,412
Hey, everybody, I'm an attorney!
160
00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:12,415
Nah.
161
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:13,916
(laughs)
162
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,839
TV ANNOUNCER: Thank you,
Barbara G. Bridleton,
163
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,340
Miss Teeny Bikini, South Dakota.
164
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,341
Well, that's it.
165
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:23,843
I think Miss Arkansas
has got it hands down.
166
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:24,844
(mutters)
167
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,846
In your hat, Miss Arkansas.
168
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,848
Miss Nebraska's the class of this field.
169
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,349
Oh, yeah, Miss Nebraska.
170
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,852
I was particularly impressed
by her life's ambition
171
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,354
to work for world peace and
open an aerobics dance studio.
172
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,857
Now, wait a minute.
Look at this one here.
173
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:38,858
Ooh, yeah.
174
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,360
Not that often you see an
impression of Edward G. Robinson
175
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,362
while twirling a baton.
176
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,866
CLIFF: Hey, Woody, Miss Indiana.
177
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:49,735
Yeah, but Boston's my home now.
178
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:55,458
? Dum dum da da da da da ?
179
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:56,959
? De da da da de. ?
180
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:59,462
Anytime you're ready, Sam.
181
00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:01,464
Gee, I'd love to propose to you, Diane,
182
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:04,467
but I'm tied up kind of
for the rest of my life.
183
00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,638
Deep down inside,
184
00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:10,389
you know this is going to happen.
185
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:14,177
You're going to propose to me.
186
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,812
You say that every day.
187
00:08:16,812 --> 00:08:19,098
But I don't say this every day.
188
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:22,101
It's today.
189
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:27,523
That is one scary woman.
190
00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:33,079
Sammy, come on. It's
late. It's time to go home.
191
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,580
It's my turn to lock up.
192
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:37,083
Besides, you look tired.
You need your rest.
193
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,584
And you might do something
stupid that you'll regret
194
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,086
for the rest of your life. Go on.
195
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,587
Would you relax, please?
196
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:44,090
Do I look like a guy who's
about to do something stupid?
197
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,092
Always.
198
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,094
That's not the point, Sam.
199
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,096
Leave me alone, will ya?
200
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,598
Guys, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna lock up now.
201
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,100
Yeah, all right, Sammy.
202
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,601
We can watch the rest of this meat show
203
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:56,602
over at Normie's house.
204
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,104
No, no, no. No, no, no.
205
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,606
Vera won't let me watch those,
uh, beauty contests, Cliffie.
206
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:01,607
Yeah? How come?
207
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,110
Well, she...she's says
they're degrading to women
208
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,112
and they make me randy as a jackrabbit.
209
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,949
Woody,
210
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,901
you go on home. I'll finish up here.
211
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:13,286
I want to be alone with Sam.
212
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,987
Run, Sam, run!
213
00:09:17,373 --> 00:09:20,376
Diane, don't you think...
214
00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:22,878
You know, on second thought,
guys, why don't you take off?
215
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:24,380
I'd like to have
216
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,882
a little private moment here with Diane.
217
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,387
That's it! It is all over!
218
00:09:31,887 --> 00:09:33,256
Now...
219
00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:35,007
I don't have the
strength to fight anymore.
220
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,010
All chance of victory is gone.
221
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:41,514
The only thing for me now is to go home,
222
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,016
pick up the pieces of my shattered life,
223
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,019
and try to go on.
224
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:50,523
Good night, Miss Chambers.
225
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,024
And, uh, good luck.
226
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,025
Oh, thanks, Woody.
227
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,027
But since Sam and I are
destined to be married,
228
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,530
luck is the one thing we don't need.
229
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,531
Oh.
230
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,032
Well, how about a salad bowl?
231
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,871
Yes, that would be nice.
232
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,257
Great. You saved me
some shopping. (chuckles)
233
00:10:08,257 --> 00:10:09,258
Good night, Woody.
234
00:10:09,258 --> 00:10:11,260
Good night, Sammy.
235
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:12,261
Good night, Woody.
236
00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:15,131
Well, Sam, you clever boy.
237
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:18,134
Since you've arranged
for us to be alone,
238
00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:19,635
I'm all ears.
239
00:10:19,635 --> 00:10:22,638
But you better hurry. Almost midnight.
240
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:25,141
I wanted to talk to you alone
241
00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:26,642
'cause I didn't want
to embarrass you in...
242
00:10:26,642 --> 00:10:29,645
in front of the other people.
243
00:10:29,645 --> 00:10:31,647
Sit down, will you, please?
244
00:10:33,649 --> 00:10:36,535
Look, Diane...
245
00:10:37,987 --> 00:10:41,791
I want you to stop this nonsense
about me proposing to you.
246
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:44,243
About us being married.
247
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,746
About us getting... about us period.
248
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,214
I've had it. That's it.
249
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,716
I don't want to hear any more.
250
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,502
Yes, Sam, fine, fine,
251
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:55,004
but you really should get at it, okay?
252
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:56,505
Would you stop it, please?
253
00:10:56,505 --> 00:10:58,007
Man, you're making me nuts!
254
00:10:58,007 --> 00:10:59,392
This is exactly what I'm talking about!
255
00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,763
You know, all right,
it was fun for a while,
256
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,765
like a little game, but
it's not cute anymore.
257
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,266
It's serious, Diane.
258
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,235
You know, I-I was really
259
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,238
ticked off at first
when you turned me down.
260
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,241
But now I see how smart you were.
261
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:19,195
I am never gonna ask
you to marry me again.
262
00:11:19,195 --> 00:11:20,196
Can I be any more clear than this?
263
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:24,700
I'm never gonna ask
you to marry me again.
264
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,202
Oh, no, oh, no, no, come on, Oh, no, no!
265
00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:28,204
No, no, no, no, stop that!
266
00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:29,088
Listen, you know how much
267
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,923
I hate it when you cry.
268
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,426
But I know you know, so it's
not gonna work. Forget it.
269
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,879
This really hadn't occurred to me...
270
00:11:38,381 --> 00:11:41,467
...but I guess it's
actually a possibility.
271
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,853
I'm not listening. Uh-uh.
272
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:48,107
(humming)
273
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:53,979
Maybe you don't love me.
274
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,982
(sobbing): God in
heaven, it's not possible!
275
00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:57,983
(laughs)
276
00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,485
(continues sobbing)
277
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:00,986
Nothing! That's it!
278
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,488
It's not affecting me at all.
279
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,372
I'm immune to this stuff.
280
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,242
Yeah, you're not gonna soften me up.
281
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:07,243
No way. That's it.
282
00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:09,245
(sobbing)
283
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:11,247
You know, it's not gonna
make me feel sorry for you.
284
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,249
In fact, I'll tell you
what it's gonna make me do.
285
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:14,750
You want to know what
it's gonna make me do?
286
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,252
I'm gonna tell you what
it's gonna make me do.
287
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:18,754
It's gonna make me propose
to you, is what it's gonna do.
288
00:12:18,754 --> 00:12:22,141
Oh, come on, don't...don't cry.
289
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,095
Oh, Diane,
290
00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:27,980
will you marry me?
291
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:28,764
No, Sam.
292
00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:31,650
(steel bars slamming)
293
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:35,104
PRIEST: The Lord is my
Shepherd; I shall not want.
294
00:12:35,104 --> 00:12:37,106
In verdant pastures, He gives me repose.
295
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:39,608
Beside restful waters, He leads me.
296
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:41,610
He refreshes my soul...
297
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:45,581
Oh, Warden, have you heard
from the governor yet?
298
00:12:45,581 --> 00:12:48,584
I'm sorry, Sam.
299
00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:50,586
Oh, well.
300
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:52,087
He maketh me lie down in green pastures;
301
00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:54,590
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
302
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:56,091
He restoreth my soul;
303
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:58,093
He leadeth me in the paths of ri...
304
00:12:58,093 --> 00:13:01,597
Father, do you really
believe in the afterlife?
305
00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:05,718
Yes, my son, I do.
306
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,219
Well, good.
307
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:13,225
Maybe I can find her
there, and... get her again!
308
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,611
(creaking)
309
00:13:15,611 --> 00:13:16,312
(groans)
310
00:13:16,612 --> 00:13:19,198
Mmm-mmm! Ooh!
311
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:21,200
What's wrong?
312
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,702
Mmm. Oh...
313
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:24,703
I just had a flash
314
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:27,706
that I got the electric
chair for killing you.
315
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,213
Well, that's silly.
316
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:38,217
Massachusetts doesn't
have the death penalty.
317
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,586
What?
318
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,926
Uh...
319
00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:50,846
Nothing. Nothing at all.
320
00:13:50,846 --> 00:13:53,349
No death penalty, huh?
321
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:54,850
No, not at present,
322
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:59,355
but I'm-I'm sure they're...
going to reinstate it.
323
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:05,861
In fact, I'm on my way to...
324
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,863
campaign for it at this very moment.
325
00:14:07,863 --> 00:14:08,864
Excuse me.
326
00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:10,366
(squeals)
327
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:20,826
Hey, everybody, you're
not going to believe this.
328
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:21,827
Well, you passed the bar.
329
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,212
I'll believe anything.
330
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:27,082
Yeah? Well, Sam's in jail, smarty pants.
331
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:28,083
What? Yeah.
332
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:30,553
Diane had him arrested
for assault and battery.
333
00:14:31,053 --> 00:14:34,056
My hero.
334
00:14:35,758 --> 00:14:36,592
Is Diane all right?
335
00:14:36,592 --> 00:14:37,593
I think she's fine.
336
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:39,595
I just don't have all the details.
337
00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:40,596
Well, how do you know all this stuff?
338
00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:41,597
Sam called me
339
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,098
to retain my services.
340
00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:46,602
Oh, to do what, prune his trees?
341
00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,103
Has he been arraigned yet?
342
00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:49,104
No, 2:00.
343
00:14:49,104 --> 00:14:50,105
CARLA: Well, maybe
344
00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:51,607
we ought to go down to the courthouse
345
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:53,609
in case Sammy needs character witnesses.
346
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:55,611
No, they don't do that
until the trial, Carla.
347
00:14:55,611 --> 00:14:57,079
Well, what sort of
defense you plan on using?
348
00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:59,081
I'm thinking about pleading insanity.
349
00:14:59,081 --> 00:15:01,083
Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
350
00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,084
What about Sammy?
351
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,128
Bail is set at $2,500.
352
00:15:13,128 --> 00:15:14,630
Next case.
353
00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:24,640
Your Honor, I swear I never touched her.
354
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,525
Take a seat.
355
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,896
Case number one five
seven eight six--
356
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:32,398
the Commonwealth of Massachusetts
357
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,399
versus Sam Malone.
358
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:34,900
Defendant is charged
359
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,402
with willful assault...
360
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,404
(clattering thud)
361
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:40,906
Oh, what is this?
362
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,908
I swear I never laid a
hand on her, Your Honor.
363
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,410
Mr. Malone...
364
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,412
I'm sorry, Your Honor.
Just take a seat, Miss...
365
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,414
Chambers. Thank you.
366
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,416
JUDGE: The defendant is charged
367
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,418
with willful assault and battery
368
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,919
against the person
of one Diane Chambers.
369
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,304
How does the defendant plead?
370
00:15:55,304 --> 00:15:56,722
Not guilty.
371
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,724
Motions, gentlemen.
372
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,225
Your Honor,
373
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:02,645
due to the violent
circumstances of this crime,
374
00:16:02,645 --> 00:16:04,146
and in order to protect the victim
375
00:16:04,146 --> 00:16:05,648
from a reoccurrence of
the events of evening last,
376
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:08,651
the State recommends that
bail be set at an amount
377
00:16:09,151 --> 00:16:11,403
commensurate with the serious
nature of this offense.
378
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,187
Motion denied.
379
00:16:12,187 --> 00:16:13,188
Hey! I'm the one that's
380
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:14,573
supposed to say that.
381
00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:19,361
Right, right.
382
00:16:19,361 --> 00:16:21,613
Sorry, Your Honor,
uh, it's my first case.
383
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:22,915
You're kidding!
384
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:28,337
Your Honor, my client, uh,
385
00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:30,339
has no prior convictions or arrests.
386
00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:31,340
A well-known businessman
387
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,342
and respected member of this community.
388
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:35,344
I therefore move that bail be waived
389
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,845
and he be released on
his own recognizance.
390
00:16:36,845 --> 00:16:38,347
I don't think Mr. Malone poses
391
00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:40,349
any general threat to
the community; so moved.
392
00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:41,216
All right!
393
00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:43,802
Sorry, Your Honor.
394
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:49,308
Trial is set for two months
from this date at 10:00 a.m.
395
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:52,277
All right, everybody,
it's been a long day.
396
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,279
This court will reconvene
tomorrow morning.
397
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:55,781
Your Honor?
398
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,784
Yes, Miss, uh... Chambers?
399
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,285
Would it be all right
400
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,788
if I said something at this time?
401
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,791
I don't think that's really necessary.
402
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:09,161
I think it might help
to expedite matters.
403
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,914
Well, if you must, but please be brief.
404
00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:14,333
Oh, geez...!
405
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,339
Your Honor, I just want you to know...
406
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,224
Should I come up there?
407
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,510
Why not?
408
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:29,398
Your Honor, I, I just want you to know
409
00:17:29,398 --> 00:17:30,899
that I understand
why the accused--
410
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,402
and, by the way, the
man I intend to marry--
411
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:35,270
was, uh,
412
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,239
was upset last night.
413
00:17:37,239 --> 00:17:39,241
After all, I did just turn down
414
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:41,243
his proposal of marriage.
415
00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:43,245
I see. But if you intend to marry him,
416
00:17:43,245 --> 00:17:45,247
why did you say no to his proposal?
417
00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:48,250
It's a long story.
418
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,251
Make it a short one,
419
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:52,254
and maybe we can save the
good people of Massachusetts
420
00:17:52,254 --> 00:17:53,622
the cost of a trial.
421
00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:55,874
Well, let's see.
422
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:56,875
Um, the accused and I
423
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,877
have been going together
424
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,879
on and off for about four years.
425
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,383
I guess you could
describe our relationship
426
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,884
as a bit stormy,
427
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:08,387
but that's also part of its excitement.
428
00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,391
Earlier this year,
429
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,892
the accused proposed to me.
430
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,778
I said no
431
00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:17,029
because I thought
432
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,031
he was on the rebound
from another relationship.
433
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,532
I was wrong,
434
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,818
so I changed my mind.
435
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:25,370
But he wouldn't propose to
me again, the little dickens.
436
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,791
Until last night, that is,
437
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:31,326
but this time I fear...
438
00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:34,329
he was only asking me to marry him
439
00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:36,832
because I was crying and upset...
440
00:18:36,832 --> 00:18:38,834
albeit unintentional.
441
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:41,837
It was emotional blackmail on my part.
442
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:43,305
I couldn't say yes
443
00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:45,808
under those circumstances.
444
00:18:45,808 --> 00:18:46,809
You do understand,
445
00:18:47,309 --> 00:18:48,811
don't you, Your Honor?
446
00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:51,313
I'm sorry, I was just trying to imagine
447
00:18:51,313 --> 00:18:53,182
the long version of the story.
448
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:03,942
Although... gallant,
449
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:05,160
his proposal
450
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,195
couldn't have been sincere.
451
00:19:06,195 --> 00:19:07,696
The accused was merely respons...
452
00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:10,833
Hey, will you say my
na... Sam, my name is Sam.
453
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,334
Make her say my name, will you please?
454
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:14,336
Calm down, Mr. Malone.
455
00:19:14,336 --> 00:19:16,338
Go on, Miss Chambers.
456
00:19:16,338 --> 00:19:19,341
Well, the next thing I know, the acc...
457
00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:21,844
Sam is chasing me
down the street--
458
00:19:21,844 --> 00:19:23,846
for six blocks,
to be exact--
459
00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,347
until I tripped and fell...
460
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,183
...thus sustaining my injuries,
461
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:30,102
a bruised thigh and a wrenched neck.
462
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,104
Did he hit you or push you in any way?
463
00:19:33,355 --> 00:19:35,607
Well, no.
464
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:36,608
Not exactly.
465
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:37,609
JUDGE: Look, Miss Chambers,
466
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:39,611
it doesn't appear that Mr. Malone
467
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,613
is directly responsible
for your injuries.
468
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,615
Now, is there any way
I could persuade you
469
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,117
to drop the charges against him?
470
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:49,321
I have a solution, if
it pleases the court.
471
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:52,824
If you can get us out of this,
it absolutely thrills the court.
472
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:55,827
What if my client proposes to her again?
473
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:56,828
Yes, I could alwa...
474
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:58,330
Are you crazy?!
475
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,333
(bangs gavel)
476
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,334
I like the idea.
477
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,753
Does the State have any
objections to his proposing?
478
00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:06,255
None, Your Honor.
479
00:20:06,255 --> 00:20:07,256
How about it, Miss Chambers?
480
00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:08,257
This all right with you?
481
00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:15,731
I suppose it would be all right
if it were a sincere proposal.
482
00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:19,735
Well, I guess it's
your move, Mr. Malone.
483
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:21,236
You mean, I have to propose to her
484
00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:22,237
to keep from going to jail
485
00:20:22,237 --> 00:20:24,239
where I wouldn't be
going in the first place
486
00:20:24,239 --> 00:20:26,241
if she'd said yes to any
one of my three proposals?
487
00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:29,194
That's a very ironic way of putting it.
488
00:20:30,612 --> 00:20:33,615
Now, which is it going to
be, a wedding or a trial?
489
00:20:36,118 --> 00:20:38,120
How long would I have to be in jail?
490
00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,628
Diane, will you marry me?
491
00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:50,465
That didn't sound very sincere.
492
00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:55,971
I ask the court, did that sound sincere?
493
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:56,972
No, it didn't.
494
00:20:58,473 --> 00:21:00,475
Try again.
495
00:21:00,475 --> 00:21:04,980
Y-You, you have no idea
what you're sentencing me to.
496
00:21:04,980 --> 00:21:08,984
Mr. Malone, come up here
and let's get this over with.
497
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:24,082
Diane...
498
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:27,002
will you marry me?
499
00:21:36,812 --> 00:21:38,647
Okay.
500
00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:39,648
JUDGE: Case dismissed.
501
00:21:39,648 --> 00:21:40,515
(pounds gavel)
502
00:21:40,515 --> 00:21:41,483
Congratulations.
503
00:21:41,984 --> 00:21:42,985
BAILIFF: All rise.
504
00:21:42,985 --> 00:21:44,987
What do you know?
505
00:21:44,987 --> 00:21:46,488
I got you off!
506
00:21:46,488 --> 00:21:48,991
Thank you, Tom. Yeah,
507
00:21:48,991 --> 00:21:50,993
Yeah, all in a day's
work, Sammy, my boy.
508
00:21:50,993 --> 00:21:54,496
You're looking at
Thomas Babson, Esquire...
509
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:55,998
undefeated.
510
00:21:57,499 --> 00:21:58,500
Oh, Tom?
511
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,502
Uh, if you got any time next week,
512
00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:01,503
my trees need pruning.
513
00:22:01,503 --> 00:22:03,505
How about Saturday? Be fine; thanks.
514
00:22:07,843 --> 00:22:08,710
Well,
515
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:11,179
guess I don't need this for a while.
516
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:27,279
Sam... I'm sorry.
517
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:32,234
I guess I got a little carried away.
518
00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:33,735
(sighing)
519
00:22:33,735 --> 00:22:37,239
I wanted to expose our relationship
520
00:22:37,239 --> 00:22:39,741
to the scrutiny of the court.
521
00:22:41,159 --> 00:22:44,162
God knows I've tried to figure it out.
522
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:46,164
I'm at a complete loss.
523
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,166
Oh, it makes perfect sense to me.
524
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:53,171
You want me to propose
to you. I propose to you.
525
00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:57,175
You say no, I say fine, I
never want to see you again.
526
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,560
You drive me nuts
527
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,929
telling me you want me to propose again.
528
00:23:00,929 --> 00:23:02,431
I do, you turn me down.
529
00:23:02,931 --> 00:23:05,434
Next thing I know, I'm in a court of law
530
00:23:05,434 --> 00:23:08,937
where I've got to propose
to you or I'll go to jail.
531
00:23:08,937 --> 00:23:11,440
It's the classic American love story.
532
00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:19,197
That's pretty absurd.
533
00:23:21,083 --> 00:23:22,534
Well, don't worry.
534
00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:26,538
I'm not going to hold
you to that proposal.
535
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,507
I know it was made
536
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:30,041
under duress.
537
00:23:31,927 --> 00:23:33,845
(sighing)
538
00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:35,847
Bye, Sam.
539
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:38,850
Where are you going?
540
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:42,354
You know, you're not
going to get off that easy.
541
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:46,358
No, you're going to pay
for what you put me through.
542
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:47,859
What do you mean?
543
00:23:47,859 --> 00:23:50,362
I proposed to you, you said yes.
544
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,864
Now, they can stop me from killing you,
545
00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:55,367
but they can't stop
me from marrying you.
546
00:23:57,953 --> 00:24:00,205
Oh, Sam!
547
00:24:01,305 --> 00:24:07,492
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