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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:06,670 How you doing? Welcome to the show. I'm Ben Stiller. 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,001 Our special guest this week is Dennis Miller. 3 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,472 Thanks for doing the show. 4 00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:13,168 Thanks for having me in the valley of the hand-held. 5 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:19,182 I'd like to say hi to you, the six to eight people who actually watch this show. 6 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:25,257 Yes, you, Mr. And Mrs. America, out there on Channel Pi in Minnesota. 7 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,120 Thanks for tuning in tonight. 8 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:31,354 One of the few shows that makes me feel like Jimmy Arness, ratings-wise. 9 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:35,365 Time to mange on a little packing crate material. I think it's from Sony Trinitron. 10 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,134 First, they watched a baby. 11 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:40,294 Where's my hair spray? 12 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,263 Right here. 13 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,034 Then a little lady. 14 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,200 I'll get it. 15 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:49,644 Now America's three favorite bachelors are back. 16 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:52,080 And they've got someone new to watch over. 17 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,146 Hi! 18 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,150 Who are you? 19 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:57,949 I'm an old man. 20 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:00,786 It's Three Men and an Old Man. 21 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,928 Come on, you want to look nice, don't you? 22 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,196 Perfect! 23 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,296 You're looking so cute! 24 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,530 Come on, have some fun, old man! Come on! 25 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:15,739 What smells? 26 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,171 You smelled it! 27 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,708 You fix it! 28 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,842 Please stop. 29 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,140 I've had enough. 30 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,515 Maybe we should've gone out to eat. 31 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:31,020 I can build humongous skyscrapers and huge bridges. 32 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,819 Don't tell me I can't figure out an adult diaper. 33 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,157 And then my prostate blew up. 34 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:48,104 I had the operation, but it got infected. 35 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,969 Listen to me! 36 00:01:56,449 --> 00:02:01,887 Three Men and an Old Man, coming soon to a theater near you. 37 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,888 Let's rock 'n' roll! 38 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,262 Manson! 39 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,331 Manson! 40 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,600 Starring Clarice Lohman... 41 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,677 ... Van Hammersley... 42 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:34,646 ... and Luke Darian as Timmy... 43 00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:39,277 ... and, of course, Charles Manson. 44 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:44,487 You wanna talk to Mrs. Wilson? Why don't you wanna talk to Charlie? 45 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:47,717 You think if you don't talk to me, I'll go away. I can't go away... 46 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:52,729 ...because I'm not here. I'm a ghost of a phantom in the heart of your children! 47 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,390 Manson! 48 00:03:56,736 --> 00:04:01,173 Hi, Bernice. Manson thinks he's helping by answering the phone. Scoot. 49 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,606 I wish I had 25 hours in a day so I could get something done here. 50 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,509 Hey, Mom, I'm gonna go catch some toads. 51 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,171 Well, take Manson with you. He's underfoot today. 52 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:13,007 Come on, boy! 53 00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,014 Where's the fire? 54 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,180 Be careful, you two! 55 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:22,089 No, Bernice, he's not in anyone's children. He just likes to say that. 56 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,963 Find them? I don't see nothing. 57 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,600 Darn that big old toad! 58 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,763 I can hear him, but I can't find him. 59 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,904 Manson, you lift up this rock, and I'll try to shoo him out from underneath. 60 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,106 I was raised in a prison. 61 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,375 I don't know any other way. I like it! Prison is my mother. 62 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,882 Come on! 63 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,418 I've been bit! 64 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,061 Quick! Run home and tell Mom and Dad that I'm bit! 65 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,856 I've been bit too, and I like it! 66 00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,499 The truth don't play no favorites. Bite on that, Jack! 67 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,295 Hurry before the poison starts working in! Hurry, boy! 68 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,732 When's dinner? I'm starved. 69 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,571 Hold your horses, mister. 70 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,441 You got to walk it like you talk it. 71 00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:17,782 Hush, Manson. I'm fixing dinner! 72 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:21,215 I'll fix brain stew for dinner when I'm the cook, Jack. 73 00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:25,221 What has gotten into you, boy? And where's Timmy? 74 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:29,919 I don't know. I got the eye of the tiger, and I don't know who to kill first. 75 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:32,064 You trying to tell us something, boy? 76 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:34,426 You can lock me up, but you can't block me up. 77 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,158 I'm so insane, I'm sane. 78 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,327 He's trying to tell us Timmy's in trouble! 79 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,029 What happened? Did Timmy have an accident by the lake? 80 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:45,268 Accident? There are no accidents. Don't give me that jive, Jack! 81 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:49,606 There is only the plan, and everything else is... 82 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,273 Timmy got bit by a snake... 83 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,818 ...and the poison's going to start working soon! 84 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,580 We don't have time. We've got to get there! 85 00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,352 Show us the way! Show us the way, boy! 86 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,184 Good boy! 87 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:08,363 Dad, I was trying to catch a toad, and I thought he was under the rock... 88 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,300 It's okay, Timmy. Manson told us all about it. 89 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,168 Once we started listening to him, that is. 90 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:19,277 If you don't listen, you don't hear. You can't hear when your head's in a bag! 91 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,886 Oh, Manson. Good boy! 92 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,117 - Clean it up and lay it down. - Good boy, Manson. 93 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,792 We're here with Dennis Miller. It's just really great to have you here. 94 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,489 - Thanks. - Have you seen the show? 95 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:41,826 I love the show. 96 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:45,801 Quite the little comedic star chamber you've assembled here, my friend. 97 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:46,961 I love the cast. 98 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,007 You got Janeane Garofalo, little Miss Post-Everything. 99 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,839 Lucy Van Helsing to Robert Smith's Count Dracula. 100 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:59,417 Wild hairdo, sort of like Peter Gabriel on the Foxtrot tour with Genesis. 101 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,847 - Andy Dick. - Andy Dick... 102 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:04,683 ...Martin Short stretched out on a rack for two and a half, three hours. 103 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:08,691 Great name. Don't change it. Look good on a marquee when you're doing films. 104 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:14,197 Parents show up, think you're doing gay porn. Who else we got? 105 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,268 Bobby Odenkirk. He used to be a writer for Saturday Night Live. 106 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,201 A faceless scribe, now out in front of the camera. 107 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,934 And still can't meet any women at all. 108 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,203 - Ouch, Bob. - That about sums up the cast. 109 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,870 No. You. Right at the hub. 110 00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,606 The guy, man. 111 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:31,875 - You're the man. - Thanks. 112 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,212 Also had a cup of coffee at Saturday Night Live. 113 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,651 Bailed out when he found there was no I in team. 114 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,552 Headed up the river like Kurtz. 115 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,693 Runs his own little microcosm. 116 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,762 Damn it, the rules are just what he wants them to be! 117 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:47,627 Got himself a little cast so he doesn't look autocratic. 118 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,564 But don't get too funny, kids. It might be Hoffa-ville. 119 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,636 - I love the show. - Thank you. All right... 120 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,830 Let's go to a little film. That's your part. 121 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,770 Go ahead. 122 00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:04,545 Send in Al Pacino. 123 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:07,949 - Hi. - Hi. 124 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,111 - Did you look at the sides? - Yes, I did. 125 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:13,087 - So you know it's a comedy? - Yes, it's a comedy. 126 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,318 Yes, very funny piece of work here. 127 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,258 Great! So how about some improv? 128 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,330 Sure, why don't we just, you know...? 129 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,330 - Have fun with it. - We have fun with it. 130 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,436 Let me explain it. You've come back from a hard day at work... 131 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:29,439 ...to discover the dog, Beethoven, has destroyed your favorite chair. Go. 132 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,442 All right. This is the dog here? This would be Beethoven. 133 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:36,878 And what do we got over here? There's no chair, so we'll put a chair here. 134 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:38,073 Use your imagination. 135 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,617 All right. 136 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,755 Look at this. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? 137 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,585 You ruined my chair. That's my chair, and it's ruined. 138 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,526 You want a chew toy? We get you a chew toy, okay... 139 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,859 ...because that's the way we do things here, bubby! 140 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,093 And I'll tell you something else. I know it was you, Beethoven. 141 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:01,099 I know it was you, and it breaks my heart. 142 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:09,047 That's it. That's it. I don't know where else to go with that... 143 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,705 ...because the dog ate my chair. 144 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,751 That's great. Leave a picture and résumé with my assistant on your way out. 145 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,887 I got another idea on this thing. 146 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,149 What about something like this? 147 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,021 Frisk me. You wanna frisk me? Come on, Beethoven. 148 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:26,593 Oh, Beethoven! You wanna do that? Because I could go that way with it. 149 00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:28,165 No, you were great. I really... 150 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,528 Maybe some dancing? 151 00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:33,669 Could you tell my assistant on your way out that I'm ready for the next actor? 152 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:34,965 Freeze! 153 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:38,101 Just don't you come any closer, all right? That's right. 154 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,373 You just stay right there, okay, because you're not gonna hire me! 155 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:45,176 It's undecided yet. I mean, it's not even up to me. 156 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,346 I don't need this, you know? I don't need this. 157 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,716 I don't need any of this crap. 158 00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:34,398 Tonight, we'll add two more names... 159 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,468 ... to the list of people who we think are up to something... 160 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,161 ... but we're not sure what it is. 161 00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:43,001 The list of America's Most Suspicious. 162 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,305 Good evening from Washington, D.C. 163 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,005 It's Sunday, February 18, and I'm Danny Bonaduce. 164 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:52,309 You know, between you and me, this world is crawling with weirdoes... 165 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,817 ...people involved in strange activities. 166 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,420 You know the kind. 167 00:10:56,589 --> 00:11:00,081 At America's Most Suspicious, it's our job to find these freaks... 168 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,590 ...and get them put away. 169 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:05,993 To date, your tips have led to the arrest of 86 people... 170 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,427 ...with no convictions. 171 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,033 At the top of tonight's news... 172 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:10,691 ...the case of Ed Janek. 173 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,771 According to Mr. Janek's neighbors, the Gradshaws... 174 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:16,669 ...Mr. Janek's a real loony tune. 175 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:20,505 It all started when Laura was out tending her spice garden. 176 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,079 I was working with the dill... 177 00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:25,982 ...when all of a sudden, something caught my eye. 178 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:31,954 It was Mr. Janek naked, running from his garage to his home. 179 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:36,819 And then I heard this really odd music, something like a tuba. 180 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,563 A tuba or a French horn. We don't know. 181 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:43,828 Right. And all of a sudden, he appears in the window in a tuxedo. 182 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,268 And he was singing opera. 183 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,476 Tell them about the chicken and the fish. 184 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,774 He's holding poultry and a fish and singing to them. 185 00:11:56,949 --> 00:12:01,909 And then repeatedly striking them, and just throws them to the ground. 186 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:06,180 And then he starts taking pictures of me! 187 00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,826 She came in the house crying. 188 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:16,491 I grabbed a golf club and ran over to Janek's house. 189 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,400 Open this door! 190 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,402 Knock, knock, knock! Let me in! 191 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:24,509 - What is going on out here? - What are you up to, mister? 192 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,907 - What are you talking about? - What are you up to? 193 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,947 I have been in the basement all day working on pottery. 194 00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:35,986 Pottery? What about the naked running and the fish singing and the opera? 195 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:39,082 You're a lunatic. You're freaking us out. 196 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,589 I have something in the kiln. 197 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,987 A kiln? What is he baking? 198 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,022 What is he up to? That's what we'd like to know. 199 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,532 The police said he hadn't done anything illegal. 200 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:54,730 I guess freaking your neighbors out is legal. 201 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,929 Calm down. 202 00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:01,175 Ed Janek, if you're watching this, and you want to admit to something, call us. 203 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,544 Try to explain what's going on in that fruity little head of yours. 204 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,706 Good luck. 205 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:06,874 Now an update. 206 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:10,385 Van Olander, that strange old bird who never cut his lawn... 207 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,615 ...well, he finally showed his stripes. 208 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,454 He tried to rob a bank. 209 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,722 Well, we forwarded Van's file over to America's Most Wanted. 210 00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:22,857 Finally, please keep your eyes peeled for the O'Connors. 211 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,900 They're a pair of first-class weirdoes... 212 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,630 ...who have their whole neighborhood freaked out. 213 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,073 It is very unsettling. 214 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:37,409 They just sit in that car for hours, listening to square-dance music. 215 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,250 What are they up to? 216 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:44,980 We're surrounded by freaks. 217 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,819 Why won't the police do anything? 218 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,085 Say the prayer. 219 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:53,755 God, grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change... 220 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:56,868 ...and to change the things I cannot accept. 221 00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,160 Until next week... 222 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:02,433 ...this is Danny Bonaduce for America's Most Suspicious saying: 223 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,168 When you smell a rat, call us. 224 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,107 We want to smell it too. 225 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:09,144 Good night. 226 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,351 I'm ready for Sandra. 227 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,189 Sandra Bernhard. Hello, Miss Thing. 228 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,886 Would you look at you? You are looking good. 229 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,554 I am jiving all over you. 230 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,223 Let me lick you. 231 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,462 Poison, right? 232 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:35,664 Enough of this. We got to get to it. Did you read the script? 233 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:39,641 I loved it. I was jiving all over it. I licked every page. 234 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:44,272 The Mighty Ducks is the most brilliant script we've had in years. Let's get to it. 235 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,211 I hope you don't mind, but I made a few adjustments. 236 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,617 - That's great. Make it your own. - All right. 237 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,383 Look at you kids, my little Gretzkys. I love you. 238 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,529 I wanna stick toothpicks in you and eat you like hors d'oeuvres. 239 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:04,559 People, take your long, hard, curvy sticks and shoot it in. 240 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,239 I am so jivingly proud of all of you. 241 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:14,675 I feel like giving birth and suckling each and every one of you. 242 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:17,577 I love you. And then I could do a song. 243 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,782 Hang on. I'm gonna make a note. 244 00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,524 I was a big fan of your show. I thought it was great. 245 00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,925 You had interesting people on. I'm sorry it's not on the air anymore. 246 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,928 Thanks, man. That's nice of you. 247 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,862 Hey, and you know what? 248 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:41,598 There are life lessons to be learned out there after a cancellation. You really... 249 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,708 You get on the other side of that pain... 250 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,367 ...and I think you find out something about yourself. 251 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,036 So don't fret about cancellation. 252 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:53,048 You know, it's an opportunity. You should view it like that. 253 00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:55,709 - What? Did you hear...? - Ben, I've heard nothing. 254 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,788 I've heard nothing. Come on. 255 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,551 But you don't have to be Queequeg to read the bones here. 256 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:01,954 There could be a chance. 257 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,595 I'm not Kreskin, but I got my ear down to the track. 258 00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,994 I hear the Silver Streak coming. But you will rise above it. 259 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,896 You'll be bigger, and you learn. 260 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:15,234 You learn about your guts, what's in here. This doesn't matter. 261 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,466 But I haven't heard anything about the show. 262 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:22,410 Fox is as committed to it as they are to Herman's Prostate or whatever that is. 263 00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:26,073 All right, why don't we go to this now? 264 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:31,923 Skank will not be seen tonight in order to bring you a special presentation. 265 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,086 Fox 266 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,693 Fox 267 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:37,851 Fox 268 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,827 Hi, I'm Foxy, the network fox... 269 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:43,332 ...inviting you to join me for a wonderful Fox program... 270 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,994 ...brought to you in full-fledged Fox-a-rama. 271 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,230 Fox 272 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,165 Live from beautiful Pig Latin Island... 273 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,938 ... it's The Pig Latin Lover's Ariety-Vay Ectacular-Spay! 274 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:59,175 Join international singing sensation Tito Gallegos and his special guests: 275 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,511 Dolly Parton... 276 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,051 ... Susan Anton... 277 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,381 ... Rip Taylor... 278 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,352 ... and the All-American Football Team. 279 00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,103 Yes, sir. You're Tito Gallegos, the Pig Latin Lover. 280 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,376 Okay, here you go. 281 00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,383 Taylor. 282 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:34,482 Rip Taylor. 283 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:35,642 Couldn't you die? 284 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:39,624 Is it on? 285 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:40,814 Lunch! 286 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,390 Ip-ray Aylor-tay, adies-lay and entlemen-gay! 287 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:51,798 And now, Arry-hay, on to the ecial-spay. Ush-may, Arry-hay. 288 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:03,012 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tito Gallegos! 289 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,739 Ey-hay! 290 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,046 Ank you-thay, ank you-thay. 291 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:44,121 And elcome-way o-tay eautiful-bay ig-pay atin-lay island. Ou-yay... 292 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,280 What do you mean, this ain't Fantasy Island? 293 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,892 I wanna talk with Mr. Roarke. 294 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,050 Mr. Roarke! 295 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:54,563 OIly-day Arton-pay, adies-lay and entlemen-gay. 296 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,200 An-cay I elp-hay ou-yay? 297 00:18:56,368 --> 00:19:01,169 I hope so. This is supposed to be Fantasy Island, and I wanna get my fantasy. 298 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,535 Ell-way, I'm ot-nay Mr. Oarke-ray. 299 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:07,145 - Ut-bay I o-day have an antasy-fay. - What's that? 300 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,743 O-tay ear-hay ou-yay ing-say. 301 00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:13,817 Well, you don't have to ask this old country gal twice. 302 00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:02,194 OIly-day Arton-pay, adies-lay... 303 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,460 Okay, ank you-thay. 304 00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:07,070 Ou-yay ow-knay, ere-hay on Ig-pay Atin-lay Island... 305 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,734 Ovely-lay oung-yay adies-lay. Ank you-thay. 306 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:17,212 Here we have very, very ecial-spay oeple-pay iving-lay ere-hay. Especially-pay... 307 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,907 Excuse me, Mr. Gallegos. 308 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:24,915 It's y-may eighbor-nay, Usan-say Anton. 309 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:27,480 Thank you. 310 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:31,288 I know you're in the middle of a special, and I really hate to bother you. 311 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:36,457 I was outside working on my car, and could you loan me some bolt cutters? 312 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,894 Ome-say at-whay? 313 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,131 Bolt cutters. 314 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,033 At-whay? 315 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:45,476 Olt-bay utters-cay. 316 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,574 I ink-thay I an-cay elp-hay ou-yay out-ay. 317 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:53,377 Ere-hay ou-yay o-gay. Ave-hay un-fay. 318 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,585 I gotta move. 319 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,882 Usan-say Anton. 320 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:02,692 At's-thay all e-thay ime-tay e-way ave-hay or-fay oday's-tay ow-shay. 321 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:06,627 Ut-bay emember-ray: 322 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,878 Ood night-gay, everybody. 323 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:26,540 Hotel accommodations provided by Pig Latin Plaza. 324 00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:29,209 Hey, kids, it's me, Foxy, the Fox Network fox. 325 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:33,290 Skank returns next week, and limbs will be flying when his kids get gangrene. 326 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:38,657 It'll be Fox-fantastic-errific-erageous! 327 00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:46,233 That's about it. Thanks for doing the show. Did you have fun? 328 00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,669 Ben, thanks for having me, man. 329 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,401 Have I helped you mentally? Did I get inside your bean and calm you down? 330 00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:54,238 You definitely did. 331 00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:57,905 I had a good time, and I love the show. If I could make one qualification... 332 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:01,849 ...and I hate to do this, but I do a lot of things I hate... 333 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,813 ...you're not out there enough, Ben. 334 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,322 Shooting the short films, all the heavy editing... 335 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:10,086 ...going into the lab, doing the post-op. 336 00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:13,095 I don't know if that's you. You gotta be out there. 337 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,825 Like, doing it free-form, on the edge like Julie Brown. 338 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,595 I don't mean "wubba, wubba, wubba" from Lancaster, England. 339 00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,601 I mean, you know, the real edge. 340 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:24,003 - That's what we aspire to. - Take the point. Get out there, damn it! 341 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,509 Somebody's got to front this whole operation, and you should be the guy. 342 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,909 Forget the editing! Forget all that crap! Just... 343 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:33,313 Well, that's it. So we'll see you next week. 344 00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:39,015 I know judo and aikido. You like that? 345 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,785 How about this? You think I'm your pet? 346 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,794 I'll pet you. I'll pet the whole world with a knife. 347 00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:48,990 Then I'll rock it to sleep. Go... 348 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,333 - I'm outside. - Yeah! 349 00:22:58,343 --> 00:22:59,332 [ENGLISH] 350 00:22:59,382 --> 00:23:03,932 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28695

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