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1
00:00:03,757 --> 00:00:05,757
Three, two...
2
00:00:05,758 --> 00:00:08,172
One, lunchtime!
3
00:00:08,497 --> 00:00:10,631
- Yeah!
- (Tori) All righty.
4
00:00:10,632 --> 00:00:13,145
All right! Who's ready to hit up
that new food truck again?
5
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,744
No, no, no.
That's not a food truck.
6
00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:18,215
That's a guy selling bunless hot
dogs out of the back of a van.
7
00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:20,595
(Laughs) Are you guys
talking about van dogs?
8
00:00:20,596 --> 00:00:21,697
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:21,698 --> 00:00:23,117
- Yeah? (Laughs)
- You in or you out, girl?
10
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:25,937
Um, I would love to, but Brody
and I are going to lunch.
11
00:00:25,971 --> 00:00:27,932
Oh, where has he been?
I haven't seen that guy in weeks.
12
00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:31,395
Yeah. You know, you're right, Derrick.
It has been amazing.
13
00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:34,258
Harvard, he's just been
really busy lately.
14
00:00:34,259 --> 00:00:37,921
But he's still the sweetest, most
thoughtful guy... (Cell phone alert chimes)
15
00:00:37,956 --> 00:00:41,620
Oh! That son of a bitch
canceled on me again.
16
00:00:41,898 --> 00:00:44,595
Now that it's finally over,
I feel like I can tell you
17
00:00:44,596 --> 00:00:46,817
I never really cared
for him.
18
00:00:46,851 --> 00:00:48,684
(Cell phone alert chimes)
19
00:00:48,718 --> 00:00:52,256
Oh, my God, you guys!
He made me a video.
20
00:00:52,324 --> 00:00:55,357
When I see your face
21
00:00:56,060 --> 00:01:00,424
There's not a thing
that I would change
22
00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:03,292
'Cause you're amazing
23
00:01:03,326 --> 00:01:06,593
Just the way you are
24
00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:10,126
How sweet! (Laughs) Oh...
25
00:01:10,146 --> 00:01:14,396
Oh, big deal. I could sing
like that, too, if I had a good voice.
26
00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:17,533
- Why is he on the toilet? Is he pooping?
- No!
27
00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:19,997
The bathroom's the only place
he can sneak away.
28
00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:23,227
Yeah, that's cool. If I sung
like that, I would poop all day.
29
00:01:24,408 --> 00:01:26,008
He is not pooping, okay?
30
00:01:26,009 --> 00:01:28,096
His childhood dream
was to be a singer,
31
00:01:28,097 --> 00:01:30,759
and he even had a music teacher
that told him he was good enough.
32
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,124
So? I had a teacher who told me
I could be a model.
33
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:36,180
He even took pictures of me
in my underwear to prove it.
34
00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:41,388
Can you forward me
that video, please?
35
00:01:41,455 --> 00:01:44,870
- Yeah, me, too. I really love that song.
- No, you guys, that's private.
36
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,127
Guys, guys, guys.
37
00:01:46,128 --> 00:01:49,060
Why would a typing teacher need
pictures of me in my underwear?
38
00:01:49,717 --> 00:01:50,982
So van dogs.
39
00:01:50,983 --> 00:01:52,966
- (Derrick) Van dogs!
- We eatin'!
40
00:01:53,534 --> 00:01:54,823
Oh.
41
00:01:54,939 --> 00:01:58,530
Jenny, you forgot...
(Lowers voice) Your phone.
42
00:02:01,836 --> 00:02:05,687
Brody, say hello to YouTube.
43
00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:08,407
(Laughs evilly)
44
00:02:08,408 --> 00:02:09,964
You were supposed to forward me
those numbers!
45
00:02:09,965 --> 00:02:12,896
I can't forward you those numbers
until Kyle forwards them to me.
46
00:02:13,146 --> 00:02:15,962
- (Both) Kyle!
- I can't take this anymore, guys!
47
00:02:16,582 --> 00:02:18,716
(Cell phone alert chimes)
Oh, this might be it.
48
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:20,616
- Oh, this is good.
- Are those the numbers?
49
00:02:20,617 --> 00:02:22,855
Mnh-mnh. It's something called
"Potty Pavarotti."
50
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,540
No, you might
wanna check this out.
51
00:02:25,541 --> 00:02:29,304
(Brody)
When I see your face
52
00:02:29,803 --> 00:02:31,806
There's not a thing that...
53
00:02:31,807 --> 00:02:34,642
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Do not forward that, please.
54
00:02:34,643 --> 00:02:37,157
No, no, no. I would never...
Again.
55
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,427
When I see your face
56
00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:41,966
(laughing) Okay, let's go.
Let's hand it over.
57
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:44,877
Very, very funny. We're all laughing.
When I see your face
58
00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:46,795
(cell phone alert chimes) Oh, every...
everyone's a comedian now.
59
00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:48,838
All right. I understand
what's going on. Oh, wonderful.
60
00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:50,939
-
When I see your face
- Oh, Kyle, you, too. Wonderful.
61
00:02:50,974 --> 00:02:54,075
What am I doing? I'm trying
to stop the Internet with my hands.
62
00:02:54,752 --> 00:02:58,451
- What the hell's going on out here?
- Uh, it's just a funny video, sir.
63
00:02:58,452 --> 00:03:01,552
Well, show it to me.
I could use a good rib tickling.
64
00:03:01,888 --> 00:03:03,491
I don't think
you'll like it, sir.
65
00:03:03,492 --> 00:03:06,594
I wanna be tickled.
Who wants to tickle me?
66
00:03:06,839 --> 00:03:09,293
Mr. Wen? Mr. McCormick?
67
00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:11,199
Potty Pavarotti?
68
00:03:12,878 --> 00:03:16,446
- How did you...
- You've gone viral, son.
69
00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:18,937
And, Mr. Moyer, you have
the voice of an angel.
70
00:03:18,938 --> 00:03:20,783
Get me those numbers.
71
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:24,286
(Gruff voice)
When I see your face...
72
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,890
73
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,342
Synced by P2Pfiend & Reef
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:35,541 --> 00:03:39,012
Season 1, Episode 5
"Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
75
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,258
Jenny?
76
00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:45,582
Well, well, well, well, well.
If it isn't Depeche Commode.
77
00:03:47,195 --> 00:03:49,762
New Kid on the Pot.
78
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:55,747
I suppose you're wondering who came up
with the diabolical plan to spread
79
00:03:55,748 --> 00:03:59,037
this virus of humiliation
around the world.
80
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,600
It was obviously you.
81
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:02,975
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
82
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,425
That was a dramatic pause.
83
00:04:06,218 --> 00:04:07,867
(Dramatically) 'Twas I.
84
00:04:08,426 --> 00:04:10,059
Nobody cares, man.
85
00:04:10,094 --> 00:04:15,245
Well, why don't you tell that
to the 42,345 people
86
00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:18,862
who have witnessed you at your
lowest moment, turd eye blind?
87
00:04:21,224 --> 00:04:23,354
Listen to this
scathing comment.
88
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,988
- "Not bad."
- Hmm.
89
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,479
- "Cute."
- Huh.
90
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,311
"Where can I buy this?"
91
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,852
Damn it!
92
00:04:33,087 --> 00:04:34,320
- Hey, babe.
- Hey.
93
00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:37,687
I am so, so sorry
about that video.
94
00:04:37,688 --> 00:04:39,489
'Twas Harvard.
95
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,751
- How was work?
- Oh, my God. It was insane.
96
00:04:42,752 --> 00:04:45,746
By 7:30, the deal was dead, so Mansfield
gets on the phone to Singapore.
97
00:04:45,747 --> 00:04:47,054
I get on the phone
to Frankfurt.
98
00:04:47,055 --> 00:04:50,009
I took a Bissell German
in college. (Speaks German)
99
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:52,030
Anyway, long story long,
100
00:04:52,288 --> 00:04:55,081
by the time Threepeat talked
Kyle off Mansfield�s balcony,
101
00:04:55,082 --> 00:04:57,942
the deal was saved, and here I am.
I love my job! I love it so much!
102
00:04:57,976 --> 00:05:01,178
(Laughs) Okay.
Let's put that coffee down.
103
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:05,016
And it's empty, which would
explain why you're vibrating.
104
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,350
(Cup thuds)
105
00:05:06,385 --> 00:05:09,999
Which might actually be a lot of fun for
me if we were spending any time together.
106
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,290
Okay. Look, I-I know
that I've been busy lately,
107
00:05:13,291 --> 00:05:15,035
but the deal has to close
by Sunday night,
108
00:05:15,036 --> 00:05:17,127
and Monday's a holiday,
so I will be all yours.
109
00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:21,551
(Chuckles) And I know exactly
what I'm gonna do with you.
110
00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:23,801
- Oh, I think I do, too.
- Mm-hmm.
111
00:05:23,802 --> 00:05:27,422
- Baseball game.
- Sex-a-thon... Baseball game.
112
00:05:27,773 --> 00:05:30,274
My Diamondbacks
versus your Giants...
113
00:05:30,309 --> 00:05:33,765
Just you, me, and the greatest
team in the National League.
114
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,600
Plus the Diamondbacks
will be there.
115
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:37,398
Oh, ho! Ha ha ha ha!
116
00:05:37,399 --> 00:05:39,934
Your team is
so getting spanked.
117
00:05:39,935 --> 00:05:41,336
(Cell phone alert chimes)
Oh, sorry.
118
00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:44,236
Crap. That's Mansfield.
Something's going on with the deal.
119
00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:45,637
What's going on with the deal?
What's the deal?
120
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:47,320
Oh, my God!
I love my job so much!
121
00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:55,467
All right, team.
Bring it in. Let's take a knee.
122
00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:59,453
Oh, sir, this is a new
Prada suit, so... (Whistles)
123
00:06:01,785 --> 00:06:04,195
Now I just got off the phone
with Singapore,
124
00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:06,346
and it looks like this deal
is going to close.
125
00:06:06,347 --> 00:06:07,782
(All cheer)
126
00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:11,896
This is a place of business.
I'll tell you when you can cheer.
127
00:06:12,555 --> 00:06:14,710
And you cheer!
(All cheer)
128
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:17,503
Now we have a lot of hard work
in front of us,
129
00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:20,969
but when we do close,
you will be rewarded.
130
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:23,572
Won't somebody cheer?
(All cheer)
131
00:06:24,393 --> 00:06:28,559
Because Remington Trust is
the best damn team in this business.
132
00:06:28,585 --> 00:06:30,846
Give me a cheer.
(All cheer)
133
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,614
Because I'm gonna take you
to see
134
00:06:32,649 --> 00:06:35,346
the best damn baseball team
in the business...
135
00:06:35,347 --> 00:06:37,074
The San Francisco Giants...
136
00:06:37,075 --> 00:06:40,267
From the best damn luxury suite
money can buy,
137
00:06:40,268 --> 00:06:41,923
and this is all gonna happen
Monday.
138
00:06:41,924 --> 00:06:43,217
(All) Monday!
139
00:06:43,218 --> 00:06:45,902
Or Tuesday works better
for some people.
140
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,254
Monday it is!
141
00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:51,695
(All cheer)
142
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:04,599
Okay, everybody has off Monday
for the holiday,
143
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,232
but I do need two volunteers
to help keep the building open.
144
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:11,144
Oh, yeah, that's a "Hell, no"
from me, okay?
145
00:07:12,236 --> 00:07:13,903
I've watched too many
horror movies,
146
00:07:13,908 --> 00:07:16,176
and the lone black guy
in the empty office building...
147
00:07:16,177 --> 00:07:17,673
He's gonna die.
148
00:07:19,296 --> 00:07:21,070
Hey, Tori,
can you work Monday?
149
00:07:21,071 --> 00:07:23,105
- Yeah. What the hell.
- I'll do it, too.
150
00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:28,945
Hey, you.
151
00:07:28,946 --> 00:07:34,051
Oh, hey, babe. So bad news.
The Giants game's sold out on Monday.
152
00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:35,846
Oh, no!
153
00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:40,732
But I went online
and got us tickets! (Laughing)
154
00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:42,922
Oh, awesome.
I'm so psyched.
155
00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:45,045
Now are they the best seats?
No.
156
00:07:45,046 --> 00:07:47,570
But are they the worst seats?
(Stammers) Yes.
157
00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:50,128
Oh. (Laughs) Wow.
You wanna hear something funny?
158
00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:51,918
- Yeah.
- (Laughs) You're gonna laugh.
159
00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:53,520
I love to laugh, so...
160
00:07:53,521 --> 00:07:55,522
- So to reward us for our hard work...
- Mm-hmm?
161
00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:58,768
Mansfield bought the luxury suite
for Monday's game. (Laughs)
162
00:07:59,091 --> 00:08:01,419
It's the same game
we're supposed to go to.
163
00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:04,015
So are you telling me
that you're gonna bail on me
164
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,491
on your one day off of work
to spend more time with your boss?
165
00:08:06,492 --> 00:08:09,308
(Laughs nervously)
Not now, I'm not.
166
00:08:14,551 --> 00:08:16,385
Sir, can I talk to you
for a second?
167
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:17,644
Whoa!
168
00:08:18,613 --> 00:08:20,680
Brody, what in the hell
are you doing?
169
00:08:20,926 --> 00:08:23,591
I'm sorry. Your assistant told
me that you were in here, so...
170
00:08:23,592 --> 00:08:26,367
You're violating steam room etiquette.
You understand?
171
00:08:26,368 --> 00:08:30,911
You enter a steam room the exact same
way you enter the world... naked.
172
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:37,638
Gotcha. So... I wanted to talk
to you about the baseballs...
173
00:08:37,672 --> 00:08:41,153
(Exhales deeply) Uh, the
baseball game on Monday.
174
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,697
Oh, it's gonna be
a good one, isn't it?
175
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,100
You are a, uh, fellow
Giants fan, I trust.
176
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,968
- The biggest.
- Oh.
177
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:52,940
Now about that, I... I just gave
$250,000 to the Giants' charity.
178
00:08:53,235 --> 00:08:56,217
Okay, well, I have a Willie Mays
bubblehead doll, so...
179
00:08:56,842 --> 00:09:00,373
You know, I've been blessed
with two very lovely daughters,
180
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,969
neither of which has the slightest
bit of interest in baseball,
181
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:06,172
so it's always been
a dream of mine
182
00:09:06,173 --> 00:09:09,089
to have a son who might like to go
to a couple games with me.
183
00:09:09,452 --> 00:09:10,956
Yeah...
184
00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:14,616
(Laughs) So funny story.
You wanna laugh?
185
00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:17,390
- No.
- Oh, excellent. So, um...
186
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:20,944
Turns out that Jenny already
bought us tickets to the same game.
187
00:09:20,945 --> 00:09:23,010
That's a crime.
I hope you let her down easy.
188
00:09:23,011 --> 00:09:25,098
Well, I tried, but...
189
00:09:25,325 --> 00:09:29,157
You know how girls get hurt when you tell
them you can't do something with them?
190
00:09:29,242 --> 00:09:30,885
Are you saying you...
191
00:09:32,013 --> 00:09:34,114
(Voice breaks) You don't wanna
go to the game with me?
192
00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:36,312
No, no, of c... of course not.
It's just that...
193
00:09:36,313 --> 00:09:37,618
'Cause I'll be darned,
it sounded like you said
194
00:09:37,652 --> 00:09:39,487
you don't wanna go
to the game with me.
195
00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:42,917
I'm not saying that at all.
I'm just saying,
196
00:09:42,918 --> 00:09:45,266
I haven't really spent a lot of
time with Jenny recently, so...
197
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:47,936
How in God's name could you
bail on your team like this?
198
00:09:47,937 --> 00:09:50,839
- Come on. Don't be like that.
- Don't tell me how to be.
199
00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:53,328
Mr. Moyer, look.
200
00:09:53,473 --> 00:09:57,715
Do you know why we work
so very hard to close these deals?
201
00:09:58,435 --> 00:10:00,791
- The money...?
- Of course it's the money.
202
00:10:01,438 --> 00:10:03,795
After the money,
there's the camaraderie.
203
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,855
Just like when the pack
gets themselves an antelope,
204
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,832
and afterwards,
everyone celebrates.
205
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:11,569
I mean, everyone
but the antelope, of course.
206
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,379
(Door opens)
207
00:10:16,928 --> 00:10:19,697
Just need to get a signature
on these invoices.
208
00:10:19,764 --> 00:10:23,601
- Why the hell are you naked?
- Uh, steam room etiquette...?
209
00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:27,505
- Bend over. Nice and deep.
- All right.
210
00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:30,542
What are you looking at?
211
00:10:30,576 --> 00:10:34,896
Just something that I'll see for the rest
of my life every time I close my eyes.
212
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,069
Quit making this weird.
213
00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,782
Sir, I could probably
talk to Jenny again.
214
00:10:41,783 --> 00:10:45,388
Oh, no, you made your choice.
There will be no antelope for you.
215
00:10:45,389 --> 00:10:46,840
We're gonna have fun
without you.
216
00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:50,002
Young man, how would you
like a free ticket
217
00:10:50,003 --> 00:10:53,886
to the company luxury suite
for a Giants baseball game?
218
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:58,232
(Chuckles) Is this some sort
of Machiavellian ploy to punish Brody?
219
00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,188
You're damn right it is.
Are you in or out?
220
00:11:00,189 --> 00:11:03,222
(Laughs) In. Of course I'm in.
(Laughs)
221
00:11:08,462 --> 00:11:10,330
This is gonna be awesome.
222
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:13,363
Some quality time
to bond with Mansfield.
223
00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:16,973
Oh, Kyle, real talk? I don't think
Mansfield knows your name.
224
00:11:18,482 --> 00:11:20,334
Who's ready
for baseball?
225
00:11:20,335 --> 00:11:23,946
Everybody gets a glove.
Mr. McCormick. Mr. Wen.
226
00:11:23,947 --> 00:11:25,404
Sport.
227
00:11:29,683 --> 00:11:32,819
Attention, capitalist pigs.
228
00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:35,856
I am here ironically.
229
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:41,260
I have no interest in indulging
in your bourgeois idea of luxury.
230
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,435
(Chuckles)
231
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:45,533
Is that your own private carvery?
It's ridiculous.
232
00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:48,667
What do you expect us to pay
for this orgy of indulgence?
233
00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:50,534
It's free, man.
234
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,419
I will take two of all
the things you have here.
235
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,896
Kill another cow.
I don't care.
236
00:11:56,311 --> 00:11:59,913
You know, this seat's not taken.
Why don't you sit here?
237
00:11:59,948 --> 00:12:03,279
Uh... it's just that Brody
normally sits next to you.
238
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,649
Brody's not here, is he?
Come on. Scooch over.
239
00:12:05,923 --> 00:12:07,135
Okay.
240
00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:10,200
You a, uh,
you a Giants fan?
241
00:12:10,238 --> 00:12:13,181
Oh. Yeah. The biggest.
Getting killed today, though.
242
00:12:13,182 --> 00:12:14,983
Game hasn't started yet.
243
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,495
Oh, good.
We're still in it, then.
244
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:27,301
- Okay. I'm gonna...
- (Clears throat) I'm right here.
245
00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:29,981
And you're two rows up,
unless you wanna switch.
246
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,930
No, no, I'll be fine. I'll send up
a flare when I get there.
247
00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,016
(Both laugh)
248
00:12:34,017 --> 00:12:36,942
Get ready to have a fun day,
just you and me.
249
00:12:36,972 --> 00:12:39,907
Mwah. Oh, I've already
forgotten about work.
250
00:12:39,941 --> 00:12:42,042
(Woman over P.A.) How about
a big Giants welcome
251
00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:45,444
for our special guests today?
Remington Trust.
252
00:12:45,445 --> 00:12:48,479
The road to a better life
begins at Remington.
253
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,385
It's pretty good up here, too.
What do we have here? So...
254
00:12:52,635 --> 00:12:55,789
Hey, looks like I got that middle
seat there, just between you guys.
255
00:12:55,824 --> 00:12:58,676
No, you know what? Uh...
There we go. Sorry.
256
00:12:58,692 --> 00:13:02,898
Real quick. Hey, we're on the same team.
And I'm in. Great.
257
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:05,859
And now please rise
for our National Anthem.
258
00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:09,304
(Strained voice) Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
(Mouthing words)
259
00:13:11,443 --> 00:13:13,909
(Crowd cheering)
260
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,176
Yeah!
261
00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:17,235
(Laughs)
262
00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:20,070
Check me out. I'm
Hawaiian Wolverine. Huh?
263
00:13:20,071 --> 00:13:21,310
(Imitates
blades zinging)
264
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:22,567
No.
265
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,558
(Growls)
266
00:13:24,581 --> 00:13:28,643
So jaded. God.
You guys are in a wonderland.
267
00:13:28,666 --> 00:13:31,027
We've all been given a golden
ticket to Wonka's Factory.
268
00:13:31,028 --> 00:13:33,290
The only thing missing
is...
269
00:13:33,705 --> 00:13:36,573
Is that a fountain
of chocolate?!
270
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,573
(Bat hits ball, crowd
cheering) Whoo!
271
00:13:41,716 --> 00:13:43,068
All
right.
272
00:13:43,746 --> 00:13:45,636
Hey, how'd you get that guy
to switch seats?
273
00:13:45,637 --> 00:13:47,842
Oh, I asked him nicely.
274
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:50,811
And then I took him on a little trip...
(Singsongy) To Cleave-land. (Laughs)
275
00:13:50,846 --> 00:13:53,546
Oh, Cleave-land is so beautiful
this time of year.
276
00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:54,881
(Both chuckle)
277
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,244
Are you watching the game
on your phone?
278
00:13:57,245 --> 00:13:58,846
No, it's just
Threepeat's Instagram.
279
00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:01,675
He keeps posting pictures
of what's going on in the luxury suite.
280
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:03,654
Who cares what's going on
in the luxury suite?
281
00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:04,993
Oh, I certainly don't.
282
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:08,994
I'm just happy that Threepeat's finally
getting some quality time with Mansfield.
283
00:14:09,018 --> 00:14:11,162
In the seat that I usually
sit in. (Chuckles)
284
00:14:11,163 --> 00:14:13,464
Close enough, Threepeat?
Why don't you hop in his lap?
285
00:14:13,465 --> 00:14:15,616
Ha ha ha. I'm laughing
at it, though.
286
00:14:15,617 --> 00:14:16,537
(Chuckles)
287
00:14:16,571 --> 00:14:19,836
Babe, come on. You're here with me.
It's a beautiful day.
288
00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:21,878
- We're just outside of Cleave-land.
- You're right. (Laughs)
289
00:14:21,885 --> 00:14:23,946
You're right, you're right,
you're right.
290
00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:25,878
That's gotta be crab legs,
right?
291
00:14:25,912 --> 00:14:28,680
They couldn't have flown in
lobster. Ah, who cares?
292
00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:31,717
You know, the truth is, I never
really got into baseball
293
00:14:31,751 --> 00:14:33,619
because it's more
of a father/son game.
294
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,320
You know, my dad was
more into individual sports
295
00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:38,196
like tennis and golf
and withholding affection.
296
00:14:39,369 --> 00:14:42,044
Oh, I think every boy
should learn about baseball.
297
00:14:42,045 --> 00:14:43,897
It encompasses
everything I love...
298
00:14:43,898 --> 00:14:46,266
High salaries,
statistical analysis,
299
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,201
and those
tiny batting helmets
300
00:14:48,269 --> 00:14:50,304
that they say are just
for kids under 12,
301
00:14:50,338 --> 00:14:52,873
but of course,
I say that's bullshit.
302
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:59,235
Well... you know, sir, I've always wanted
to learn how to throw a curvy ball.
303
00:14:59,236 --> 00:15:01,237
Curveball's
a very meager commodity.
304
00:15:01,238 --> 00:15:02,983
It's all about the grip.
Take a hold of that
305
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:05,519
and get your finger
across the lace
306
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:08,222
and... when you release it,
pull the trigger.
307
00:15:08,256 --> 00:15:10,791
You pull the trigger.
How does that feel?
308
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:13,442
- That feels like a family.
- Attaboy.
309
00:15:14,197 --> 00:15:17,802
- Maybe we should have a catch sometime.
- Oh, I want that so bad.
310
00:15:18,064 --> 00:15:20,469
Oh, God. Oh.
311
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:23,535
Young man, is that chocolate
that you're drinking?
312
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:26,638
Yeah, yeah, and there's a whole
fountain of it right back there.
313
00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:28,403
(Laughs)
314
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:31,610
It's making me a little sick,
but I'm powering right through it.
315
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,450
Score some points!
316
00:15:34,451 --> 00:15:35,651
(Laughs)
317
00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:39,817
But now I am 100%
totally yours.
318
00:15:42,256 --> 00:15:45,859
- After I go to the bathroom.
- Didn't you just go?
319
00:15:45,893 --> 00:15:49,329
Yeah, but you keep making me chug my beer
every time the Diamondbacks score a run.
320
00:15:49,363 --> 00:15:50,263
(Bat hits ball)
321
00:15:50,298 --> 00:15:51,979
(Crowd cheering)
322
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,531
- Speaking of that...
- Damn it!
323
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:58,815
Guys, word of warning...
324
00:16:00,975 --> 00:16:04,945
Do not dip the turkey leg in chocolate.
It is disgusting and...
325
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:07,214
(High-pitched voice)
Highly addictive. (Giggles)
326
00:16:07,248 --> 00:16:09,082
(Singsongy)
Look who's here.
327
00:16:09,117 --> 00:16:11,795
(Chanting)
Brody, Brody, Brody!
328
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,954
Mr. Moyer.
What are you doing here?
329
00:16:13,989 --> 00:16:16,656
I just came down to say hi
and just pop back up.
330
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:20,427
Well, you've said hi. You've come down.
Now you can pop up.
331
00:16:21,996 --> 00:16:26,066
Oh, well, well, well. How does
it feel to be on the outside?
332
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:28,693
(Chuckles) Pressing your face
against the glass,
333
00:16:28,694 --> 00:16:32,272
watching us eat our Turkey
and chocolate... (Chuckles)
334
00:16:32,702 --> 00:16:37,210
Knowing that you will never be the center
of attention ever again? (Chuckles)
335
00:16:37,244 --> 00:16:38,345
(Bat hits ball)
336
00:16:38,412 --> 00:16:39,679
(Crowd cheering)
- Oh!
337
00:16:39,714 --> 00:16:42,359
- Oh!
- I got it! I got it!
338
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,238
Brody just caught that ball
with his bare hands!
339
00:16:45,239 --> 00:16:47,222
- Yeah!
- (All chanting) Brody! Brody!
340
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,258
(Crowd cheering)
341
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,461
Oh, my God!
342
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,696
(Vomits)
(Crowd groans)
343
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:57,153
Oh, my God.
344
00:17:01,037 --> 00:17:02,504
Son, tell it again,
won't ya?
345
00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:04,831
Okay. So I heard the crack
of the bat.
346
00:17:04,832 --> 00:17:06,793
I saw the ball out of the corner
of my eye, and then boom!
347
00:17:06,794 --> 00:17:08,343
Pure reflex.
And fun fact...
348
00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:10,284
I'm right-handed, but
I caught the ball with my left.
349
00:17:10,285 --> 00:17:12,899
I love this game!
I love this game so much!
350
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:14,486
(Chuckles)
351
00:17:14,512 --> 00:17:16,491
Uh, but you know what?
I actually do have to get back to...
352
00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:17,779
- Jenny.
- Exactly.
353
00:17:18,046 --> 00:17:20,046
Oh. Jenny.
354
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,259
I caught you a ball.
355
00:17:23,975 --> 00:17:27,563
Oh, my gosh, Brody.
Thank you so much!
356
00:17:27,597 --> 00:17:29,455
(Men) Whoa!
357
00:17:29,502 --> 00:17:31,837
Oh, it hit the guy
I threw up on.
358
00:17:33,396 --> 00:17:35,364
Well, I'm sorry
to interrupt, everyone.
359
00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:37,139
- Enjoy the rest of the game.
- Wait, Jenny, Jenny.
360
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,974
You know what? Look, if you're
gonna sneak around on me,
361
00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:42,499
at least have the decency
to do it with a really hot chick,
362
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,344
not a 50-year-old guy.
363
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:47,352
Okay. Look, I was not
sneaking around.
364
00:17:47,353 --> 00:17:49,638
I just came down here for a minute
to celebrate with my team,
365
00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:51,050
but I was gonna come
right back up to you,
366
00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:53,052
and then I caught the ball
with my weak hand.
367
00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:57,382
Look, Brody, I know that work
comes first. I get it.
368
00:17:57,383 --> 00:18:01,797
But on your one day off, I, uh... I wish
that I at least made, like, the top five.
369
00:18:01,798 --> 00:18:03,374
Hey, you do. You're more than that.
370
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,240
I... just look, why don't we
go up to our seats right now?
371
00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:09,043
Oh. Oh, no. 'Cause they're not
our seats. They're my seats.
372
00:18:09,076 --> 00:18:13,119
So I'm gonna go back to my seat
and cheer for my team...
373
00:18:13,154 --> 00:18:15,713
After I take a turkey leg.
374
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:19,259
(Sighs)
375
00:18:20,662 --> 00:18:23,666
Shouldn't have come down here.
I shouldn't have lied to Jenny.
376
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,736
I honestly shouldn't have caught
the ball with one hand.
377
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,715
Damn my natural
athleticism.
378
00:18:28,471 --> 00:18:31,147
What you shouldn't have done
is hurt that little girl's feelings.
379
00:18:31,148 --> 00:18:32,508
What the hell
were you thinking?
380
00:18:32,543 --> 00:18:36,480
Well, you did say that it was more
important to be a part of the team.
381
00:18:36,514 --> 00:18:40,545
Naked men in steam rooms say
a lot of things that they do not mean.
382
00:18:42,053 --> 00:18:46,221
Gosh, I can't believe that
she threw your foul ball back.
383
00:18:46,522 --> 00:18:49,665
That's real rage. Bless her heart. You're
gonna have to do something about it.
384
00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,099
Yeah. I'm gonna have
to do something big.
385
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,667
No, you're gonna have
to do something giant.
386
00:18:52,668 --> 00:18:56,579
Lucky for you, I have Giant friends
who owe me giant favors
387
00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:59,409
because these are
the San Francisco Giants.
388
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,311
Yeah, no,
I get the reference.
389
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:03,846
Good. Save your voice.
You're gonna need it.
390
00:19:07,299 --> 00:19:10,908
(Announcer) And now please welcome,
to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame,"
391
00:19:10,909 --> 00:19:14,305
Remington Trust's own
Potty Pavarotti!
392
00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:17,498
(Crowd cheering)
393
00:19:17,738 --> 00:19:19,532
(Amplified voice)
This is for Jenny.
394
00:19:20,181 --> 00:19:22,282
I'll always be on your team.
395
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:24,150
(Chuckles) No way.
396
00:19:24,536 --> 00:19:29,197
Take me
out to the ballgame
397
00:19:29,204 --> 00:19:33,700
Take me out to the crowd
398
00:19:33,701 --> 00:19:38,605
(crowd singing along)
Buy me
some peanuts and cracker jacks
399
00:19:38,639 --> 00:19:42,431
I don't care
if I ever get back
400
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:45,529
'Cause it's root,
root, root for the...
401
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:48,239
-
D-backs
- (Crowd)
Giants
402
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,209
(crowd booing)
If they
don't win, it's a shame
403
00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:55,440
'Cause it's one, two
404
00:19:55,475 --> 00:19:59,260
Three strikes,
you're out at the old
405
00:19:59,261 --> 00:20:01,886
Ballgame
406
00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,564
(cheers and applause)
407
00:20:03,565 --> 00:20:05,233
Go, D-backs!
408
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:07,169
(Crowd booing)
That is my boyfriend!
409
00:20:07,329 --> 00:20:09,228
That's my boy.
410
00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:19,032
Okay, please just tell me
the story one more time.
411
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:21,668
All right, fine, but this
is the last time, okay?
412
00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:25,149
So I finished singing the song,
I yelled, "Go, D-backs,"
413
00:20:25,297 --> 00:20:27,474
and then 40,000 people
start booing me.
414
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:30,010
Uh, 40,000 people
minus one.
415
00:20:30,044 --> 00:20:33,024
Yes, I heard you cheering.
Thank you. (Giggles)
416
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:35,978
And then I run off the field
in a blind panic
417
00:20:35,979 --> 00:20:38,714
and I'm pulled
by the Diamondbacks manager.
418
00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,716
- Kirk Gibson.
- Kirk Gibson, yes.
419
00:20:40,923 --> 00:20:43,582
Who brings me into
the Diamondbacks dugout,
420
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,036
where I am high-fived
by the entire team.
421
00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:48,682
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
422
00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:49,883
(Laughs)
423
00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:52,301
Okay, now tell me
my favorite part.
424
00:20:52,949 --> 00:20:54,783
I'm throwing out
the first pitch
425
00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:56,887
at the Diamondbacks
home opener next year.
426
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,964
(Laughs)
427
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,026
I love this game.
I love it so much.
428
00:21:01,063 --> 00:21:02,263
(Laughs)
429
00:21:02,353 --> 00:21:05,353
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430
00:21:05,403 --> 00:21:09,953
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