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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,360 Hmm. I think I'll have that. 2 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,200 Jonny! 3 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,440 JONNY CHUCKLES 4 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,000 Just give it back! Sorry? 5 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,880 Give me my phone back. Oh, you mean this? 6 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,880 Whoo, butterfingers! 7 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,040 Jonny, you dick! You could have broken it. 8 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,760 I've got my call later. 9 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,480 What's the stuff in this bag? Er, what are they doing in there? 10 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,160 Jackie, just put it down. 11 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,680 What are these bits for? Jackie, just leave them, will you? 12 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,800 I'm just looking. Oh, hi, boys. All right? 13 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,560 But what are they for? Intergalactic bloody space travel. 14 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,400 Just leave the bleeding things! All right! 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,440 What's going on? We're trying to put together this storage unit thing 16 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,160 for my... All her old crap. Thank you. 17 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,800 I've only been asking your dad to do it for the last three months. 18 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,120 It's not been three months. 19 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:14,040 Martin, it's been sitting in this stupid garage for three months. 20 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,760 Before you go on, just to say, we're not helping. 21 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,680 Definitely not helping. Shitbags. 22 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Oh, come on, boys. Your dad's injured himself, OK? 23 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,600 Really? My bloody bursitis. 24 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,680 Your bloody what? 25 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,680 Bursitis. Don't you know what bursitis is? 26 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,880 Funnily enough, no. 27 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,080 No? Martin, no-one knows what bursitis is! 28 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,760 Didn't they go to school? Um, not to medical school. 29 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,480 Well, bursitis, thickos, 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,560 is inflammation of the fluid-filled sac under the skin. 31 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,880 Oh, yes! That doesn't sound revolting. 32 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,720 It's a bleeding nightmare. Really? What are the symptoms? 33 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,880 Pain. 34 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,200 Right. Farewell. 35 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,800 Oh, boys, please help. There's spiders everywhere. 36 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,600 Mum! You won't get your crumble. 37 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:58,320 Ugh, OK. OK, later. God. 38 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,680 Oh, hello, boys. 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,400 Jim? What are you...? 40 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,800 Shh! Wilson's just finishing his... 41 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,200 Oh, Jim! ..dollops. Lovely. Dollops. 42 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,800 That's it, Wilson? 43 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,920 Why are you doing it there? I'm not doing it there. 44 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,760 Wilson is. Never mind. 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,080 Jim, do you have to keep doing that there? 46 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:22,560 I'm not doing it there, Jackie. Wilson is. 47 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,440 Yeah, I know that... I do my dollops in my house. 48 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,920 Him and his bloody dollops. 49 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,000 Don't worry. I've got a bag. 50 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,600 He won't have a bag. 51 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,240 Oh, actually, Jackie, do you have a bag? See? 52 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,760 Or maybe five. 53 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,960 All week in that bloody flowerbed. 54 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,520 Every time I open that door, there's Jim and Wilson, dolloping. 55 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,680 What's he feeding him, for Christ's sake? Other dogs? 56 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,720 He can't be well. Who, Wilson or Jim? 57 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,960 I think we should put a trap down for the bleeding thing. 58 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,200 A trap for a dog? A dog trap? 59 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,160 Yeah, snap its arse off. JACKIE CACKLES 60 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,600 What is for dinner? Dollops. 61 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,840 Meatballs. Dollops! 62 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,320 Very good. Oh, I'm boiling! 63 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,440 Oh! Put your bosoms away. 64 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,640 Oh, Mum, big night for Adam tonight. 65 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,480 Is it? Yeah, I've sort of got this important phone call later. 66 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,600 Get off! From a girl? Please say it's from a girl. 67 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,640 It's from a girl. It's not from a girl! 68 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,640 Oh! It's a work call. I was all excited then. 69 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,560 From America. From America? 70 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,840 Oh, my God, my son's got an important work call from America! 71 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,360 Mum! Martin! 72 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,320 It's to tell me if I got this job. Which he hasn't. 73 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,320 Ow! Ooh, America! 74 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,800 Yeah, it's doing the music for this car commercial thing. 75 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,880 Be amazing if I do get it. I mean, I probably won't. 76 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,160 He definitely won't. I am down to the last two, so... 77 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:48,920 Will you shut up? The last two? Oh, my Bobble the composer! 78 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,200 Of crap. 79 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,840 Martin, Adam's getting an important phone call from America later. 80 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,720 From a female? Yeah! No, Dad, about a job. 81 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,200 Oh, never mind. Great. Well, I'm getting champagne. 82 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,640 Champagne? They haven't even called me yet! 83 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,880 Exciting, though, working in America. 84 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,840 It's not IN America, it's FOR America. 85 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,240 You're getting a job FOR America? Yes. 86 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,760 For America what? Sorry? 87 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,880 Bubbly wubbly! 88 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,560 Let me get the job first. 89 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,840 You'll still be working in the hospital, though? Yes? 90 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,200 Hospital? Martin, have you met your son before? 91 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,680 What? That's his job. Hospital radio. 92 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,240 Fantastic. No, Dad, I write music for adverts and stuff, 93 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,800 one of which was used once - once! - on hospital radio. 94 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,920 Ah, yes. # Femeron, say goodbye to thrush! # 95 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,240 Well, I thought he worked in a hospital. Really? Did you? 96 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,600 I was actually going to ask you if you could get some 97 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,720 new bandages for my bursitis. Right. 98 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,880 But since you don't work in a hospital... I don't. 99 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,040 ..you can't. Nope. Useless. 100 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,360 PHONE RINGS 101 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,360 Oh, my God. Is that them? 102 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:56,520 I don't know. Erm... I don't know. 103 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,920 Hello, Adam Goodman. 104 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,120 Oh, hi. 105 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,800 WHISPERS: It's them! 106 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:05,520 AMERICAN ACCENT: And I just wanted to say we loved your music so much, 107 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,760 we want to give you the job. 108 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,040 Oh, wow. That's amazing. 109 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,440 I got it! JACKIE SCREAMS 110 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,520 Thank you. Thank you so much. 111 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,320 You're welcome, Pusface! 112 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,400 We are so excited to be working with you! 113 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,560 NORMAL VOICE: Unknown number! Got you! 114 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,200 Jonny, you little shit! 115 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,440 That was a horrible thing to do! 116 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,360 I know! I can't believe you! 117 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,880 Was that Jonny pretending to call from the hospital? 118 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,800 I don't work in a hospital. Yes, he does. 119 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,560 ? Femeron, say goodbye to thrush! ? 120 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,600 Right! 121 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,920 DOORBELL RINGS 122 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:42,840 Go on, boys! Ugh, really? 123 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,720 Such a sod. Your face! Your face! 124 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:53,600 All right? Yes. Wilson might need... 125 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,800 Well, you know. 126 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,600 Go on, Pusface. Ugh! 127 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,560 The local dog toilets. 128 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,920 Jim, sorry, but is Wilson all right at the moment? 129 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,360 Actually, Jackie, I'm not sure that he is. 130 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,320 He keeps going... 131 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,080 ..to the loo. Really. 132 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,040 Yes. In your flowerbed, right over there. 133 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,760 We do know, Jim. 134 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,440 Which is strange, because he hasn't been eating for days. 135 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,760 Oh! And yesterday, he didn't even want to watch his 136 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,960 favourite television programme. OK... 137 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,160 University Challenge. 138 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,640 Maybe you should... 139 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,640 Have him put down. ..take him to the vet's. 140 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:35,080 No, Jackie. Wilson never lets me take him to the vet's, never. 141 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:39,120 Right, bags. 142 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:45,680 BagS. 143 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,120 It really can't be well, that creature. 144 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,600 I know, poor Wilson. Plate, please, Jonny. 145 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,200 I mean, it must have dumped half its body weight in our drive. 146 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,120 Oh, Dad! Thank you! We're eating. 147 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,000 Could be tapeworm. 148 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,200 Adam, pass me your plate so we can start eating, 149 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,760 and your dad can shut his face. Gladly. 150 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,120 And you really don't want one of those buggers 151 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,840 tunnelling through to your bowels. 152 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,000 Do you want to eat in another room? 153 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,800 In another house? On another planet? 154 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,480 Here. Dollops. Dollops. 155 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,920 Just eat your food. Remember, Jackie, when we had a dog? 156 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,000 A dog? Ignore him. Martin, we've never had a dog in our lives. 157 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,800 Really? What about Sam? Sam? Who's Sam? Who's Sam? 158 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,200 You're right. We've never had a dog in our lives. 159 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,240 Mum, please can we have Dad put down? I'll call the vet's. 160 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,760 Mm! I remember who Sam was now. 161 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,440 Do you? He wasn't a dog, he was a man! Bit of a difference. 162 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,440 Mm? Oh, you mean Sam, our old neighbour? 163 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,080 Sam, our old neighbour! Sam, your old neighbour? 164 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,600 That's right. He had a dog, also called Sam. Sam! 165 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,560 What, the man was called Sam, and he also had a dog called Sam? 166 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,640 He once tried to wipe his bum on our fence. 167 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,320 Which Sam? The man or the dog? 168 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,880 You don't want to know. 169 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,360 Oh, God. Talking of a man and his bloody dog... 170 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:05,760 Where you going? Just seeing if they're still dolloping. 171 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,040 Yep, still dolloping. Again?! Again. 172 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,880 Jesus! It's ridiculous. It's definitely an arse worm. 173 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,160 Oh, hurry up and phone! So you'll do it, then? My storage thing? 174 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,160 Oh, my God! You won't get your crumble... 175 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,760 Mum! We'll do it, OK? Dad made it. 176 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,440 What?! Dad made it?! Dad's never made crumble before. 177 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:26,920 Yeah, why did Dad make the crumble? 178 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,920 He wanted to. It was bloody easy. 179 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,720 You just get all the ingredients you need, you mix them up 180 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,600 in the correct quantities, then you put the mixture in the oven. 181 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:39,000 Do you? And the action of the heat causes the molecules to vibrate, 182 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,080 which causes the food to cook, so when you take it all out, 183 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:46,360 it's all done. Right! Piece of piss. 184 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,160 PHONE RINGS 185 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,200 Very good. I know it's you. 186 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:55,040 Jonathan! What, unknown, again? Very clever! 187 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,160 It's not me. Oh! So... 188 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,040 Shit! That's them! 189 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,280 Oh! Good luck, my little Mozart! 190 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:05,400 Is that the hospital? 191 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:10,640 Yes, to take you away. 192 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,200 Hello, Adam Goodman. 193 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,080 AMERICAN ACCENT: Hello, Mr Pusface! 194 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,920 Jonathan! 195 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,400 Jonny, you bloody...! It works with Mum's phone, too! 196 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,240 Oh! MARTIN LAUGHS 197 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,960 Right, you dollophead! Oi! 198 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,000 Not a meatball! Oh! 199 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,600 Oh, my God! Shit! Not on the carpet! Not on the carpet! 200 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,240 You shitting berk! Ow! I told you not to throw meatballs! 201 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,920 Mum! And you! Me? Me?! 202 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,640 Bloody idiot! Dad! 203 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,200 Bloody idiot! Dad! 204 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,240 How am I going to get red wine out of my carpet? 205 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,200 Oh, my God. Martin, go and get the white wine. Get the white wine. 206 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,720 White wine? Gets rid of red wine stains. Bleeding hell. 207 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,680 Ow! Can everyone stop hitting me? I'm covered in meat. 208 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,280 Oh, look what you've done! 209 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,920 Please! I'm sorry, Mum, OK? I'm sorry. 210 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,880 Right, white wine. OK, pour it on the stain. Pour it on the stain. 211 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,680 Oh, shit, that's the red wine! 212 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,040 More red wine! Oh, my God. Right, all of you, out. 213 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,520 Get out! Jackie! Mum! 214 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:11,160 Go on, go to the garage, and finish making my bloody thing. 215 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,520 What, your brain? I heard that! 216 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,280 Come on, then. 217 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:20,120 Well done, Pusface. No, well done, Pissface. 218 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:25,880 So many dollops. 219 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,360 Where these two bits go, I have no bloody idea. 220 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,720 Yeah. Once again, just look at the instructions. 221 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,680 I heard you the first time! 222 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,240 Oi, Adam! What? 223 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,960 Ow! Jonny! 224 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,560 Dick! 225 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,960 Dad, can we please just get on with it? They must go somewhere! 226 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,240 You do have the instructions? 227 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,960 Pardon? 228 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,280 Oh, Dad! You didn't throw them away, did you? 229 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,640 Erm... You threw them away?! Why did you do that? 230 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,560 Well, I didn't know what they were, did I? 231 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,240 Well, what did you think they were? 232 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,960 You know, general information about the company, profit, turnover. 233 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,640 Sorry? Well, what was the name of the unit? 234 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,080 Don't you dare phone me again! 235 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,560 I'm not phoning you again. What was the name? 236 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,440 Maybe there's something online. Er, it was written on the box. 237 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,200 Which you threw away. Which I threw away. 238 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,560 Oh, excellent. And might it still be in the bins? 239 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,680 Binmen came this morning. Of course they did. Fantastic. 240 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,240 So we're now putting together a massive wooden thing 241 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,280 with absolutely no instructions whatsoever. 242 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,400 Lucky both your sons are qualified carpenters. 243 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,200 Stupid babies! You don't need the instructions. 244 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,720 Look, there's the wood, there's the screws. What else do you need? 245 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,240 Er, the instructions. 246 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,920 Look, that bit there must be one of the doors... 247 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,040 Oh, bloody bursitis! Bloody burSHITEis. 248 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,400 Where are my sodding painkillers? 249 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,920 OK, I've got a door. Now what? 250 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,440 Well, just connect it to another bit. 251 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,680 Connect it? I'll do it, then! 252 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,120 God! Such a fuss. 253 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,920 Go on, Jonny! Mm? 254 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,960 Erm, you'll be pleased to know the carpet's ruined. 255 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,320 Oh, really? 256 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,920 Hello, all. Oh, Jim, not another bag. 257 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,680 Oh, no, Jackie. I just wanted to say that if you do need any help 258 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,840 in here, I am very good with my hands. 259 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,040 Right. I've actually been making something back at the house. 260 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,040 Have you? Yes, a little ladder. 261 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,560 OK, well... For our bunk beds. 262 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,040 Wilson's on top. 263 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,080 Actually, I will take... 264 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,240 ..another bag. 265 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:37,320 That should be big enough for the... 266 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,520 You know. 267 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,440 They sleep in bunk beds? 268 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,200 Right, well, I'll leave you all to get on, then. 269 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,640 So you're not helping us at all? 270 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,760 What? No. Just hurry up! 271 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,400 Hurry up? Hurry up? 272 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,760 Right. 273 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,760 Jonny? 274 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,000 Adam? 275 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,400 Hold still! 276 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,840 It's not fair! 277 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520 Well, life's not fair, Jackie. 278 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,160 If it was, God wouldn't have invented bursitis. 279 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,240 Aah! Eugh! Spider! 280 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,360 Aagh! Stop doing that! 281 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,800 Oh, just keep bleeding still, Jackie! 282 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,240 God! 283 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,560 Now the other door. 284 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,360 Can't we just leave it like this? 285 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,480 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 286 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,160 "Unknown". 287 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,800 Oh, you're unbelievable, Jonny! 288 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,480 Oh, not again! 289 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,480 OK, this time, I promise it's not me. Look. 290 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,480 It's not my phone. Well, it's not my phone. 291 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,280 PHONE CONTINUES TO RING I don't care, I'm not answering it. 292 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,320 - I think you should, Adam, it might be the... - Don't you dare say hospital! 293 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,720 Go on! 294 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:48,040 I swear, if this is you, piss face... 295 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,240 Hello, Adam Goodman. 296 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,120 Hello again, pus face! 297 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,080 JONATHAN AND MARTIN LAUGH Jonathan! 298 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,440 Dad's phone! 299 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,200 Right! You... 300 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,520 No! 301 00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,800 Ohh! Ooh! 302 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,480 You bloody bastard! 303 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,000 Nutcase! I'm going to kill you! Get off me! 304 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,560 Boys... Boys! 305 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,400 You are so dead! Get off me! 306 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,320 Adam! Bye! Pus face! 307 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,600 Boys! 308 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,880 JIM: Quick! Not now, Jim! 309 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,480 Something terrible's happened. 310 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,560 Wilson's not moving. 311 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:23,520 What? Wilson, he's not moving. Not moving? 312 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,960 We... We were just on our way home, 313 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,760 and he suddenly just... 314 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,040 ..just stopped. 315 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,880 Oh, God! 316 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,400 Why isn't he moving? 317 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,000 ADAM: Maybe give him a little shake? 318 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:41,560 Wilson? Sh, sh! 319 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,800 Well, Martin? 320 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,320 Jim... 321 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:55,320 ..I think he's dead. 322 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,360 Wilson's... 323 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,680 ..dead? 324 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,800 He can't... He can't be. 325 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,440 Not Wilson. 326 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,440 Not Wilson! 327 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,760 Wilson, it's me. 328 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,320 It's Jim. 329 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,400 Oh, Wilson! 330 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,760 SOBBING: Wilson! 331 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,520 Come back, Wilson. Don't leave me! 332 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,320 HE SOBS 333 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,120 Aww, Jim. 334 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,040 Say it's not true, Jackie. Say it's not true! 335 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,760 Jim! Oh, Jim. 336 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,520 How could you leave me, my friend? 337 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,280 My only friend! 338 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,840 HE SOBS 339 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,600 Jim! 340 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,560 No more Wilson. 341 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,280 No more Wilson! 342 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,360 Jim, we should really call the vet. 343 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:56,160 No, Jackie, Wilson never has been taken to the vets, never! 344 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,080 We'll bury him. 345 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,920 Really, Jim? Yes, we'll bury Wilson. 346 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,000 Yeah. 347 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,560 We'll bury him. 348 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:09,160 Yeah, and we'll give him the best send-off any dog's ever had. 349 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,960 TEARFULLY: Thank you, Martin. 350 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,840 Is there anywhere special, Jim, you'd like to lay Wilson to rest? 351 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,080 What? Oh, yes, Jackie, there is... 352 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:25,240 ..one place, actually, somewhere that meant a lot to Wilson. 353 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,960 Of course. Wherever! 354 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,640 Would you mind carrying him? 355 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:39,120 Oof! Go on, lads. 356 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,000 THEY GRUNT AND STRAIN Thank you, boys. 357 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:47,240 This way. 358 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:52,880 Here we are. 359 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,640 Ashes to ashes, 360 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,680 dust to dust... 361 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,160 Sorry, I don't really know the rest of it. 362 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:08,600 Wilson to Wilson. 363 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,200 Um, Jim, maybe you'd like to say a little something about Wilson? 364 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,560 Oh, yes. 365 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:22,200 Maybe I could make up a little poem about him. 366 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,000 O Wilson, 367 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,680 You were a great animal 368 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,760 Who was also a mammal. 369 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:37,080 You loved to drink water from your bowl 370 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:42,200 With your tongue, until you were... 371 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,640 ..foal. 372 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,640 But now, you are gone 373 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,640 And I am... 374 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:59,520 ..alonn. 375 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,120 Why don't you come inside now, have some crumble? 376 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,200 Crimble crumble... 377 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,360 Come on. 378 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,520 Goodbye, Wilson. 379 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,480 JONNY SIGHS Yeah. 380 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,160 Goodbye, mate. 381 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:20,400 Fill it up, then. 382 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:24,560 Thanks! 383 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,800 Here we are, Jim. Crimble crumble! 384 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,480 Crimble crumble! 385 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,920 Thank you, Jackie. 386 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:35,320 I've never had your famous apple crumble before. 387 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,600 Well, actually... Wilson would have been so proud. 388 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,920 I made it, Jim. 389 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,360 Oh. Did you? 390 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,600 ALL: Ye-e-s. 391 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,640 There's some champagne, if you fancy? 392 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,200 No, thank you, Martin. 393 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,800 My dog has just died. 394 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,680 Oh, yes. Anyone else? 395 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:58,280 Well, um, tuck in. Ohh! Aahh! 396 00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,680 You all right, Jim? 397 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,760 There's no fruit. What? 398 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,400 It's just crumble. 399 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,920 Yeah, where's the fruit? 400 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,280 Martin, what crumble is this? 401 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,240 Er, apple crumble. 402 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,280 But without the apples? 403 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,160 Oh, I forgot to put them in! 404 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,520 Oh, Martin! 405 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,960 So we're just eating crumble? Just a mass of crumble? 406 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,360 Crumble crumble? 407 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,640 Oh, sorry! 408 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,280 I obviously just... 409 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,840 ..shitted it out. 410 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,520 I'm so sorry, Jim. 411 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:36,520 I...think I need to be alone. 412 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,760 Oh, did you ever finish your cupboard? 413 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,800 Er, no, Jim. 414 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:48,480 I suppose nothing is ever really finished. 415 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:54,160 Come on, Wilson... 416 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:59,200 He's... 417 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,000 Aww! 418 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,960 Yeah. 419 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,320 You forgot the apples?! All right! 420 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,400 What's he going to do without Wilson? 421 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,560 He'll be OK, Jackie, he'll be OK. 422 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,720 Well, that's definitely how I want to go - 423 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,760 being buried in my own toilet! 424 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,960 Adam! 425 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:24,720 HAMMERING SOUNDS What's that banging? 426 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:25,800 Jim? 427 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,000 Jesus! Er, Jim? 428 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:33,080 What's he doing?! 429 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,240 Jim? 430 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:43,520 Where's he... 431 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,640 Sorry, Jim, you're not thinking of putting that, um, thing 432 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,720 in front of our house? 433 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,960 HE GRUNTS 434 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,120 This cross will stand 435 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,120 as a permanent reminder 436 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,160 for the whole community 437 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:07,160 to the memory of the great Wilson. 438 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,280 And it will stand here 439 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,200 for all eternity. 440 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:22,520 Er, right... 441 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,360 Sorry, is it Sunday tomorrow? 442 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,480 Er, no, Jim, it's Saturday tomorrow. 443 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,960 Oh, yes. 444 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,760 I'll get another dog tomorrow, then. 445 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,200 Bye, all. 446 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,440 Great, so, now what? 447 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,920 That just stays there, does it? Yup. 448 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,160 A massive, terrifying cross. 449 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,760 For all eternity. 450 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,920 We're supposed to be Jewish! 451 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,480 Well, we can't just take it down, can we? 452 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,800 Well, what are people going to think?! 453 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,840 MOBILE PHONE RINGS Oh, not now, Jonny! 454 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,800 Er, remember this? 455 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,040 Oh, God! 456 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,320 So...that's them. 457 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:03,920 I mean, it's got to be them. 458 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,440 Well, answer it! Is that the Americans? 459 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,920 Where's my... 460 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,080 PHONE CONTINUES TO RING 461 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,040 Wait a minute... 462 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:17,080 PHONE CONTINUES TO RING 463 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,800 You didn't! 464 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:39,920 I did! 465 00:22:39,970 --> 00:22:44,520 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33170

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