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1
00:00:31,879 --> 00:00:35,119
BRAKES SCREECH
2
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:36,640
Pissing hell!
3
00:00:36,679 --> 00:00:39,520
- Um, hi, Dad.
- Pissing bloody hell!
4
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,280
- Driving without a top now, are we?
- What?
5
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,587
Are you on the run or something?
6
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:46,159
I tell you, if your mum makes me
go round to her mother's again,
7
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,600
I'll bleedin' hang myself!
Ooh, can I watch?
8
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,479
Three times I've been to your
grandma's this evening!
9
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,079
Three times! First she leaves her
purse here.
10
00:00:54,119 --> 00:00:56,960
Off I go. Then she remembers she's
left her gloves. Off I go again.
11
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,280
And now this time, her bum medicine.
12
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,880
Sorry? Why your mother can't send
your bloody brother!
13
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,759
He's been here all week. All week?!
14
00:01:03,799 --> 00:01:05,359
I thought it was one night.
15
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,680
Aren't you cold? What?
16
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,680
No, my nipples are roasting.
17
00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:13,719
Roast nipples? This helps a little,
though.
18
00:01:14,359 --> 00:01:16,599
Er... Frozen cod.
19
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,640
Ahh!
20
00:01:23,799 --> 00:01:26,280
Go away! Oh, my God!
21
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:29,039
Why didn't you ring the bell?
I told you we should do it upstairs!
22
00:01:29,079 --> 00:01:31,680
Were you cutting his toenails? No!
Yes, you were!
23
00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:33,680
Why are you cutting pus-face's
toenails?
24
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:37,240
She's not! Keep still.
Eughh! There's bits everywhere!
25
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:41,280
Just go away. So, this is what
happens when you stay at Mum and Dad's, is it?
26
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,640
You're such a dick! And look at his
little pyjamas!
27
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,680
Don't be cruel. And his little
slippers! Leave my slip-slips!
28
00:01:47,719 --> 00:01:51,280
Your slip-slips?! Stop it, Jonathan.
He's frail.
29
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:54,280
Is he? Ow! Oh, yes! Jonny!
30
00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:58,319
So, how is little Lord Bubbins?
Still not better, actually.
31
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,760
Your tonsil-wonsils still giving you
trouble-wubble? Mummy!
32
00:02:01,799 --> 00:02:03,159
"Mummy"?!
33
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,640
Jackie, I've fixed the shower pipes.
Wonderful.
34
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,000
Get Adam his glass of water, will
you? Yes, Your bleedin' Highness.
35
00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:12,800
Dad, Mum's been cutting Adam's
toenails! Tell me about it!
36
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,719
Can anyone smell fish?
37
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:15,680
Fish?
38
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,039
There you go, pus-face.
39
00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:19,599
Thank you. One sec.
40
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,000
Wedgie! Ow!
41
00:02:22,039 --> 00:02:24,039
Jonny, you'll tear them!
You'll tear them!
42
00:02:24,079 --> 00:02:27,360
Bastard! Jonathan. Horrible!
43
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,039
Dad. Dad? Mm?
44
00:02:30,079 --> 00:02:32,120
How long's that been going on? What?
45
00:02:32,159 --> 00:02:34,280
You know, that Mummy and Baby.
46
00:02:34,319 --> 00:02:36,719
Oh. Mummy and Baby
the whole bloody week!
47
00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:39,920
God! Yeah, God. Every morning
she makes him breakfast in bed.
48
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,680
Three boiled eggs, he gets.
That's 15 eggs.
49
00:02:42,719 --> 00:02:46,719
That is quite a lot of eggs.
Then he lies around in his pyjamas eating meringues all bloody day.
50
00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:50,120
Meringues?! And I'm the one who has
to clean up after him.
51
00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:52,079
That's if I'm not at your grandma's,
52
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,920
ferrying around her bum medicine.
Bum medicine!
53
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,159
Are you getting him his drink?
He's thirsty!
54
00:02:57,199 --> 00:02:58,800
Sorry?
55
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,319
Oh, Martin! Oh, and I forgot -
my mother called.
56
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,719
She left her glasses here.
Could you drop them round?
57
00:03:04,759 --> 00:03:06,800
Right! That's it!
58
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,840
If that bloody woman wants her
glasses, she can get off her stupid fat arse and get them herself.
59
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,719
Martin, that's my mother
you're talking about!
60
00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:16,360
Then why don't YOU go round?
You know why I can't go round.
61
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,400
I'm looking after my baby. Here,
Bobbo. Thanks, Mum. So not ill.
62
00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:24,319
Jackie, I am telling you. I am not
getting in my car
63
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,000
for one more second this evening.
Do you hear me?
64
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:30,039
One more second!
65
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,240
I think he might have meant that.
Martin!
66
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,240
And where are you going
with all those pipes?
67
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,280
I'll tell you where I'm going.
To shove them up my bottom.
68
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,800
You asked him! Incredible!
69
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,039
OK, then, pus-face. What's going on?
70
00:03:45,079 --> 00:03:46,360
Get off!
71
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,240
Lying around in your pyjamas,
wearing your slip-slips.
72
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,360
Ow! Stop doing that!
73
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,520
Oh, come on! You're not still ill.
I am!
74
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,120
It's my tonsils.
75
00:03:56,159 --> 00:03:59,360
Well, then, maybe what you need
is a good old wedgie!
76
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,400
Ow! Jonny! Better now?
77
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,080
Right!
78
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,399
Mmm! Crunchy!
79
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:23,160
No, Mum, he hasn't left quite yet.
80
00:04:23,199 --> 00:04:24,879
THEY MOUTH
81
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,800
Don't worry. He'll drop them round
later. I bleedin' well won't!
82
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,519
OK, Mum. Love you.
83
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,519
Martin, you know my mother can't see
without her glasses!
84
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,959
Do you want her to fall and break
her leg? Could she do her arms as well?
85
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,560
Maybe you should go, Jonny.
I'll go, Mum. See?
86
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,439
Your younger son has a heart.
87
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,759
One slight problem. What?
I don't have my car.
88
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,199
Well, take your dad's car, then.
He's not crashing my car again.
89
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,159
OK. Take Adam's. He's not crashing
my car again!
90
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,720
Seriously, why can't pus-face go?
Me?!
91
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,199
You know why! He's frail. Is he?
92
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,159
Ow! Oh, yes.
93
00:04:57,199 --> 00:05:00,120
Martin, please take my mother's
glasses.
94
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,720
Oh, Jackie. Then I'll have to do it
later, won't I?
95
00:05:02,759 --> 00:05:06,759
Yes, you will. As if I don't have
enough to do, caring for our poor baby.
96
00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:09,360
Can we maybe eat?
97
00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:12,120
Ooh, squirrel!
98
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,240
Ah, ah, ah!
99
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,160
The patient first.
100
00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:19,560
Some chicken for Bobbo. Thanks, Mum.
101
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,240
A little more, maybe? Thanks, Mum.
102
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,920
Some potatoes...
103
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,319
Thanks, Mum.
104
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,360
And a couple more... Jackie!
Thanks, Mum.
105
00:05:33,319 --> 00:05:36,840
Vegetables... Thanks, Mummy.
106
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,879
Oops.
107
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,959
One more potato. Mum!
108
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,240
Bleedin' 'ell!
109
00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:47,240
Jonny.
110
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,959
Is that it?
111
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,000
Martin, you can have the rest.
112
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,720
Huh?
113
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,720
Mum, you forgot my...
Oh, your Ribena! Oh, sorry, Bobbo.
114
00:06:11,519 --> 00:06:15,519
Thanks, Mum. No ice!
115
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,040
What?
116
00:06:21,319 --> 00:06:25,319
No, Dad.
117
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,519
Give it! Get off!
118
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,720
Give me some! Mum!
119
00:06:29,759 --> 00:06:31,079
Mummy!
120
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,639
Martin!
121
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,319
I told you not to do that! Jackie!
122
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,240
You mean he's done that before?
Taking food out of your starving son's mouth! Oh!
123
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,079
Are you alright, Bobbo?
124
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,279
I think so, Mummy. Aw!
125
00:06:45,319 --> 00:06:47,879
Sorry, am I now in some kind of cult
or something?
126
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,159
Oh, just eat your food, both of you.
I already have!
127
00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:52,759
Here.
128
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,600
Your Ribena, Bobbo. Thanks, Mummy.
DOORBELL
129
00:06:56,639 --> 00:06:59,959
Oh, who's that? Adam's nappy
delivery? Ha-ha.
130
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,639
And Martin -
131
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,680
leave!
132
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,879
No, Dad!
133
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,920
Oh, hi, Jim. Hello, Jackie. You look
nice! Thanks, Jim. Not the greatest of times... Isn't it?
134
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,600
"Dear Jim, congratulations
on passing your driving test.
135
00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:28,120
"Love, Wilson."
136
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:32,159
Oh! Clever Wilson!
137
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,840
So, did you pass first time?
138
00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:38,879
15th. Well, that's not too...
Last time, I drove into a reservoir.
139
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,800
Right. How do you like my new car,
Jackie?
140
00:07:44,199 --> 00:07:47,639
All it needed was a dab of paint.
141
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,120
Hi, Jim. What are you doing here
with your plate?
142
00:07:51,159 --> 00:07:55,159
No, Martin! Look at the boy
in his little pyjamas!
143
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:59,560
Jim passed his driving test,
everyone!
144
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,680
ALL: Oh.
145
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,920
- What, first time?
- 15th.
146
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,639
Well, must get on with dinner.
147
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,319
Yes, my celebration dinner.
Our family dinner.
148
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,360
Your family dinner to celebrate
Jim's success!
149
00:08:10,399 --> 00:08:14,399
Um, no.
150
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,240
Jim's allowed to drive?!
151
00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:18,360
That's me never crossing the road
again!
152
00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:21,319
Maybe you could ask Jim to drop
round your mother's stupid glasses.
153
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,480
What, and crash through her living
room and kill her stone dead?
154
00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:26,240
Ooh, I hadn't thought of that!
155
00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,000
CLANKING
156
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,959
What's that?
DOORBELL
157
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,680
What now?
158
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,720
Adam's nappies have arrived?
159
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,600
The car - it's not really going
where I want it to go.
160
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:53,120
And is Lord Bubbins planning on
finishing his evening meal some time this century?
161
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:55,639
What? How that man passed his test!
162
00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:59,679
He couldn't even remember
what the steering wheel was for!
163
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,080
Oh, no! What is in my mouth? What do
you think is in your mouth?
164
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,200
Boys.
165
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,799
Oh, my God!
166
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,120
Oh!
167
00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:08,360
Jonathan!
168
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:10,559
Toenails? That's disgusting!
169
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,200
I can't believe you, Jonathan!
170
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,320
Me?! It's not funny, Martin!
171
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,240
Oh, look, he's all wet! I'm all wet.
172
00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:20,320
Gone right through to his chest!
173
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,039
I don't believe this. Believe it!
174
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,440
What is wrong with you tonight?
Can you just calm down?
175
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,200
Me calm down? Why don't you go
upstairs and put your pyjamas on?
176
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,799
Put my pyjamas on?
Yes. It'll calm you down.
177
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,080
Go on, piss-face.
Put your pyjamas on.
178
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,919
Shut up! Why would I want to put my
pyjamas on? Cos you'll be all nice and cosy.
179
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,000
I don't want to be nice and cosy!
180
00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:41,679
Oh, my two little babies
in their pyjamas!
181
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,519
Can I put my pyjamas on? Go and take
the glasses back to my mother!
182
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:49,559
Oh, shit-head shit!
183
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,440
Oh, go on, Jonny-boo.
184
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,000
Mum! Do it for Mummy.
185
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:56,919
Please! Jonny-boo! Jonny-boo.
186
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,399
OK. That's it. I'm getting out of
here.
187
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,679
What? Yeah. Goodbye!
188
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,320
Can I come with? And I'll take these
bloody glasses back to Grandma myself! Sit down!
189
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,840
Pus-face, I'm taking your car.
No, you're not!
190
00:10:07,879 --> 00:10:11,679
Yes, I am! Oh, give them back!
Jonathan!
191
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,120
Bye, everyone! Jonny!
192
00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:16,960
Well, come on, Martin!
193
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,039
It's Friday night!
194
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:23,080
ARGUING IN HALLWAY
195
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,799
Fools!
196
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,480
Go back in there and finish your
food!
197
00:10:28,519 --> 00:10:31,159
What food? Come on, Adam.
You're coming with me.
198
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,879
Am I? Don't listen to him, Adam.
Yep, you're coming to Grandma's. Let's go.
199
00:10:34,919 --> 00:10:38,919
Mum! Martin! But I'm in my pyjamas!
So? It'll be a laugh.
200
00:10:39,519 --> 00:10:41,840
Martin! Come on, Adam! No!
201
00:10:41,879 --> 00:10:45,720
Jonny, let go of him!
You let go of him! Get off me!
202
00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:48,320
Adam, if you stay in this house
any longer, you will die!
203
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,519
Don't listen to him, Bobbo.
Stay here with Mummy.
204
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,080
Uh... Seriously, Adam!
205
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,799
Martin! What?
206
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,399
Come on!
207
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,440
Adam! Sorry, Mum!
208
00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:01,159
Oh, my God.
209
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,320
I'm outside the house!
210
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,399
The death cult. Let's go.
211
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,200
Oh, no, not again! What?
212
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,639
Why does it never work?
Because it's a piece of shit.
213
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,279
The central locking. It keeps
bloody...
214
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,120
Oh, finally! Yes. Finally.
215
00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:19,840
Another wedgie!
216
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,480
Ow! You're tearing them!
217
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:25,159
Please stop doing that!
218
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,879
Doing what? You're such a knob.
219
00:11:27,919 --> 00:11:29,960
You're a knob. You're a knob.
220
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,519
You're a knob. Knob!
221
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:34,000
Knob!
222
00:11:34,039 --> 00:11:37,279
Maybe I should just go back in.
Sorry, but what the hell has happened to you?
223
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:41,320
What? You've been here one week
and just look at what you've become.
224
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,399
You just don't get it, do you?
225
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,440
No, I don't get it.
226
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,240
I thought it would be hell here,
too.
227
00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:51,840
I thought I'd stay one night max,
while I was feeling all crap.
228
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:55,000
Right. But then the milky drinks,
229
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:57,639
hot water bottles.
Hot water bottles?
230
00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,200
The meringues!
231
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,960
Mummy makes so many meringues!
232
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,799
OK. No more "Mummy", alright?
233
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,840
No more "Mummy".
OK. No more "Mummy".
234
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:08,919
Wait!
235
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,200
Aghh!
236
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,440
Here's your coat, Bobbo.
237
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,480
Oh, great! And a banana.
Thanks, Mummy!
238
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,240
Are you sure you'll be OK
getting out, or would you like me to carry you?
239
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,840
Very good(!)
240
00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:32,879
Oh, really?
241
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,039
Promise me we can just push your car
off a bridge later.
242
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,399
Oh, my coat. Or set it on fire.
243
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,039
Bloody hell!
244
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,399
What? Where are my keys?
245
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,440
Oh, don't say I've... ..locked the
keys in the... Shit! You idiot!
246
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,360
Now what are we gonna do?
247
00:12:50,399 --> 00:12:51,960
I know. What?
248
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,759
Wedgie!
249
00:12:53,799 --> 00:12:56,679
Ow! Jonny! Woo-hoo-hoo!
250
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,360
Ooh!
251
00:12:58,399 --> 00:13:01,679
Ooh-hoo-hoo! Oh, my God!
You bloody shit!
252
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,440
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
253
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,480
Give me my trousers!
Give me my trousers!
254
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,320
You mean these? Shit!
255
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,500
Shit!
256
00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:16,360
How is this happening?
257
00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:19,360
You flaccid turd!
258
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,120
It's not funny!
It is from where I'm standing!
259
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:25,679
Jesus! Sorry, I've got to take
a photo. Jonny!
260
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,759
Oh, not my phone!
261
00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:29,480
Who cares about your bloody phone?
262
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,559
Oh, just give me your trousers.
263
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,639
My trousers? Just give them to me!
Get off!
264
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,000
I'm not giving you my trousers!
Come on, let's just go to Grandma's.
265
00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:41,120
Go to Grandma's?!
What, with my arse hanging out?
266
00:13:41,159 --> 00:13:42,799
Not forgetting your bollocks!
267
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,440
Oh, God!
268
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,679
Come on. She'll have something for
you to wear. Like what, exactly?
269
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,039
I don't know. A nice old pair
of knickers!
270
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,120
I can't believe this!
271
00:13:52,159 --> 00:13:54,000
JONNY CHORTLES
272
00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:57,240
Oh, miaow! That's it, sexy!
273
00:13:57,279 --> 00:14:01,279
It's not funny! Oh, it is funny!
274
00:14:05,159 --> 00:14:06,919
Come on, Grandma!
275
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,799
It is a good look, though. Shut up!
276
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,840
I'm so cold!
277
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,399
Adam, I think she's out.
How could she be out?
278
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,120
Grandma?
279
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:19,840
Grandma?
280
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:21,559
She knew we were coming. Yeah.
281
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,120
We come all this way and she just...
Right. Give me your shirt.
282
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:25,480
What?
283
00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:27,159
Give me your shirt.
284
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,799
I'll wrap it around me.
285
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,279
You've got a top on - use that.
286
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,200
Then I'll be basically naked.
287
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,480
You're basically naked now, so...
Jonny!
288
00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:36,320
No way, I'll freeze!
289
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,320
I'll rub my penis on you!
290
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,399
What?! I will!
291
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,519
I'll rub my penis on you,
and my balls.
292
00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:45,440
Adam! I'll do it.
293
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,080
I mean it.
294
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,039
Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Take it!
Take it!
295
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,080
Oh, bloody hell! Thank you.
296
00:14:57,279 --> 00:14:59,320
You're sick!
297
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,639
God, it's cold.
298
00:15:02,679 --> 00:15:05,240
There! Nice skirt(!) Thanks.
299
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:08,639
Oh, God!
300
00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:12,600
OK. Let's go next door.
Ask them if we can use their phone to call Mummy.
301
00:15:12,639 --> 00:15:15,879
For the last crapping time,
it is "Mum", not "Mummy"!
302
00:15:15,919 --> 00:15:19,919
Alright!
303
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:25,120
Are we really gonna ring the bell?
What else can we do? Just ring the bell.
304
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,840
I don't think you should have
rung the bell. 'One minute.'
305
00:15:31,879 --> 00:15:35,879
But you just said I should ring it!
Someone's coming!
306
00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:41,000
Um, excuse me, but can we please use
your telephone?
307
00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:43,200
Um...
308
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,879
We haven't come to attack you!
309
00:15:45,919 --> 00:15:48,440
EAR-PIERCING SCREAM
310
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,759
And now we run. Yep!
311
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:53,279
WOMAN: Somebody call the police!
312
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,320
Somebody call the police!
313
00:15:57,519 --> 00:15:59,480
HORNS TOOT
314
00:15:59,519 --> 00:16:01,320
Yes, we know!
315
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,720
No phone. No money.
316
00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:06,519
Stupid Grandma and her stupid
glasses.
317
00:16:06,559 --> 00:16:10,559
Maybe it would be good to get
arrested. At least we'd get given some sort of gown.
318
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:13,960
Do the police give you gowns?
I can't feel my face!
319
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,159
Is there such a thing as
a police gown?
320
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,960
Seriously, where is this stupid
shop?
321
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,519
I thought it was down here.
It's somewhere down here.
322
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:23,440
Please stop for us! We're nice boys.
323
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:24,639
HORNS TOOT
324
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,519
I believe that's called soliciting!
325
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:29,559
Hey, that's Jim! What?
That's Jim's car!
326
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,600
Jim! Jim!
327
00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:37,799
Jim! Jim!
328
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,639
I know you've just passed your test,
Jim,
329
00:16:42,679 --> 00:16:44,919
but if you could possibly drive
a little faster?
330
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,960
Faster?! I'm already going at...
22 miles an hour!
331
00:16:49,639 --> 00:16:53,639
We don't want the car to overheat
and suddenly explode, do we, Wilson?
332
00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:56,960
You definitely don't have your
phone?
333
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000
No. Wilson did his bottom things
on it
334
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:02,120
so I put it in a pond. Fantastic(!)
335
00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,039
WILSON WHINES
336
00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:08,880
Hang on - this isn't the turning
for the motorway, is it?
337
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,279
Oh, dear!
338
00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:14,319
Never driven on the motorway before!
339
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,160
Hold tight, Wilson!
340
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,279
50 miles away?!
341
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:24,839
Martin. What?
342
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,440
You know you said you wouldn't get
in your car again?
343
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,960
Hmm?
344
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,519
'Oh, shitting hell!' 'Martin!
345
00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:36,200
'Your dad's on his way.'
Yep. Alright. Bye, Mum.
346
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,960
Um, thanks for the phone.
347
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,640
Sorry again we can't give you
anything.
348
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,480
What's that? You know, for the
phone.
349
00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:47,519
MEN WOLF-WHISTLE
Yes!
350
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,759
Sorry we can't give you anything.
351
00:17:50,799 --> 00:17:54,119
What about your slippers?
352
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,160
My slippers?!
You mean his slip-slips?
353
00:18:04,279 --> 00:18:06,279
Bloody idiots!
354
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,359
Oh, did you get hot, as well?
355
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,680
Yes, Dad. Roasting(!)
356
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,240
Right. Let's go.
357
00:18:12,279 --> 00:18:13,839
Oh, dear!
358
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,279
What?
359
00:18:15,319 --> 00:18:19,319
Were these anyone's?
360
00:18:21,079 --> 00:18:23,279
Oh, look at you, Adam!
361
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,240
Oh! Him? What about me?
362
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:30,279
No more shitting car.
363
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,319
My poor Bobbo! Put these on.
364
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:40,720
Thanks, Mummy! What about me?
365
00:18:40,759 --> 00:18:42,599
Sorry?
366
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,079
You said you didn't want to wear
any pyjamas, remember?
367
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:49,119
But... Aw, do you really think
I'd let my other little Bobbo freeze to death?
368
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,279
Thanks, Mum.
369
00:18:54,319 --> 00:18:56,279
..Mummy.
370
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:57,640
Here.
371
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,920
Jonny-Boo!
372
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,519
Oh, my poor boys!
373
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,720
A-hem!
374
00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:07,799
What? Mummy?
375
00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:10,880
Please don't call me that.
376
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,519
Thanks, love!
377
00:19:12,559 --> 00:19:14,039
JIM: Mummy...
378
00:19:14,079 --> 00:19:16,039
Goodbye, Jim. Bye-bye, Mummy.
379
00:19:16,079 --> 00:19:18,039
Jackie. Mummy!
380
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:22,079
Wilson! Wilson!
381
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,880
Mum, um, Grandma's glasses.
382
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,119
Don't worry. She called.
She found a spare pair anyway.
383
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,759
BOYS: What?!
384
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:33,799
Yeah. She couldn't answer the door
when you came round cos she was a bit busy.
385
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:36,119
Oh! She was "busy", was she?
386
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,880
She was in the bathroom
with her tights round her ankles, bending over a mirror.
387
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,319
Sorry?!
388
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,359
TOGETHER: Bum medicine.
389
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,519
There's your hot milk.
Thanks, Mum.
390
00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:53,079
Your hot chocolate. Thanks, Mum!
391
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,160
Martin, here's your disgusting
hot beer drink.
392
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,359
Lovely!
393
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,960
Oh, my little babies!
394
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,680
Have your meringues.
395
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,720
Ooh, meringues!
396
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,519
Do you get it now? Oh, I get it!
397
00:20:09,559 --> 00:20:11,920
DOORBELL
Mmm! Hot beer and meringues!
398
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,960
Coming!
399
00:20:20,279 --> 00:20:23,400
EXASPERATED SIGH
400
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,400
# I change shapes just to hide
in this place
401
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,440
# But I'm still, I'm still an animal
402
00:20:30,759 --> 00:20:33,960
# Nobody knows it but me when I slip
403
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,000
# Yeah, I'm still,
I'm still an animal
404
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,440
# I'd change shapes just to hide in
this place
405
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,319
♪ But I'm still,
I'm still an animal. ♪
406
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:49,919
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