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1
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I'm asking you, Nellie Buller,
will you... Mummy!
2
00:00:04,816 --> 00:00:06,546
Will you marry me?
3
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,979
Yes! Oh, yes!
4
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:13,259
Mwa! We're engaged!
5
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:15,298
We're engaged!
6
00:00:15,323 --> 00:00:41,202
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
7
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:55,619
Careful of my hair.
It's OK, Grandma. Careful.
8
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:59,139
Pass me your handbag.
Be careful of my nails.
9
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,979
Be careful!
10
00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:02,420
Ow!
11
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:05,540
Here's your dress.
Be careful of my dress! Be careful!
12
00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:08,020
I am being careful.
Be careful.
13
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:11,939
Of your fingers...
Ah!
14
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,099
Now, remember, brave face...
15
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,139
Brave face.
16
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:20,140
Brave face.
17
00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:24,539
Here comes the bride!
Careful, careful!
18
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:28,219
Careful.
Careful.
19
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:31,419
Boys! You look nice.
20
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,660
We look like tits.
21
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,660
Hello, Mum. Or should I say...
22
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:40,100
.."The bride to be"?!
23
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,499
She's nervous.
Right.
24
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,979
Has Dad had his brain reprogrammed?
Pardon?
25
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,379
Martin, you can relax now.
26
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:52,219
Ooh! Hello, bambinos!
27
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:55,459
Be careful. Put it down there...
OK.
28
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,779
Careful...
Please!
29
00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,179
I hope she's all right.
30
00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:02,819
So, go on, how was she?
31
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:04,979
Ten-minute drive. Two toilet breaks.
32
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:08,099
Really? One at the garage
and one behind a hedge.
33
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,979
A hedge?! Quite a low hedge.
Blimey.
34
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:14,980
Yes. Blimey. Someone tell me how
we're going to get through today.
35
00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:18,659
Heroin? Please.
Love, it'll be fine.
36
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:22,659
It won't be fine!
My mother is marrying Mr Morris -
37
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,339
the worst man in the world.
The universe.
38
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:28,699
Not if she suddenly
comes out as a lesbian. Nice image.
39
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:32,700
Martin, she won't be coming out as a
lesbian. Well, then, we're buggered!
40
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:36,619
My God!
41
00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:39,339
Hello?
42
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,620
Ye... OK, love.
43
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:45,620
See you soon.
Val. She's doing Grandma's makeup.
44
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:49,259
Could that phone be any louder?
It's so your dad can hear it.
45
00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,660
It's so I can hear it.
And can you?
46
00:02:51,661 --> 00:02:54,820
When it rings, I'll let you know.
Perfect.
47
00:02:56,860 --> 00:03:00,860
OK, brave face, everyone,
brave face. Brave face.
48
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:05,940
I feel much better now.
49
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,139
Smoked salmon and cream cheese...
50
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:12,739
It's lovely, Jackie.
Amazing. Leave it.
51
00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:15,219
Yeah, leave it. Ohh... Boys!
52
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:17,379
Skill McGill!
Ohh...
53
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:20,420
And, you know,
people can just help themselves...
54
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:23,859
Really lovely.
Another sherry, please.
55
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:27,860
Another one? You haven't had
your breakfast yet. Another sherry.
56
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:32,219
OK. We don't want you conking out
before the wedding. Here.
57
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:35,459
Your 8am sherry coming right up,
madam.
58
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:39,460
Oh, Mum, I wonder what Mr Morris
is doing right now.
59
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,859
Masturbating? What?
I bet he's sitting there,
60
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:47,019
with a sherry, just like you,
thinking all about the big day.
61
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,379
Whilst masturbating.
62
00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:53,380
Yes, well,
he's a very thoughtful person.
63
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:55,859
Is he?
Is he?!
64
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:59,860
Oh, yes. One time, he...
65
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,819
Well, go on.
66
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:06,820
No, I can't remember
when he was thoughtful.
67
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,939
Well?
Oh, my God.
68
00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:12,819
How do I look?
Just like me and Adam - a tit.
69
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:16,579
The third tit. Ignore them, Martin.
You look really...
70
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:18,619
Tittish... handsome.
71
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:22,620
Ahh. Doesn't Martin look handsome,
Mum?
72
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,939
In a way.
73
00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,859
Excellent.
74
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:30,579
Erm, Mum, can we have a quick word?
Yeah. What?
75
00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,819
What?
76
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:35,699
Mum, help yourself.
77
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,899
And no more sherry!
78
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,139
Hope she's all right. What
do you want? You know what we want.
79
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:45,539
Do we have to wear these clothes?
Yes, it's what Mr Morris...
80
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:48,499
Little Miss Hitler...
..wanted you to wear.
81
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,459
But we look like little twins.
Stop it. Little pimps.
82
00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:55,460
Martin, tell them they look OK.
Do I look like a pimp?! No-one does!
83
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:59,299
I better not look like a pimp!
84
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:03,300
Where are you going? Look, I really
don't have time for this now.
85
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:05,899
We're not page boys, are we?
Of course not.
86
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:08,259
We'd better not be.
Can I go now?
87
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,819
I look like a pimp!
Ohh...
88
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:13,499
You wan' buy a piece of ass?
Mmm... Mmm...
89
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,979
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
90
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,899
Oh...
91
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,019
Ooh, don't you look snazzy!
92
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:24,299
So do you, sexy lady...
Are you all right?
93
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,739
I'm being a pimp.
Oh. Very nice.
94
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:30,059
Whoa! Shake ya booty!
Yeah, not right now, Martin.
95
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:32,299
How's Jackie?
The usual...
96
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:36,300
Thank you, Martin. Hello, love.
97
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:39,260
Ooh. Today's the day!
98
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:41,939
I know. I'll be all right.
99
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,179
Hi, Auntie Val.
Hi, boys...
100
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:47,699
Aw, don't they look sweet?
Like two little page boys.
101
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,299
See?!
102
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,939
Like two very adult, grown up men.
103
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:55,339
Where's the blushing bride?
104
00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:58,179
Mum! Mum?!
105
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,219
She won't be long.
106
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:03,499
Just finishing off
her 80th barrel of alcohol.
107
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:07,299
Hello, Valerie.
Hello, Mrs Buller.
108
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,499
Mazel tov!
Oh, thank you.
109
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,299
Come to make me look beautiful,
have you?
110
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,419
Don't be silly.
You don't look a day over 21! Ohh!
111
00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:18,699
And you don't look a day over 55.
112
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,539
Oh.
113
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,699
Is she 55?
No, Mum, she's 49.
114
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:27,419
She looks older.
Sorry, Val, she's a bit...
115
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,899
What? OHH! YOU SHIT!
116
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,939
Skill McGill!
What happened?!
117
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,739
He put water down my pants!
Someone's had an accident!
118
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:37,779
Stupid wazzocks.
You better not have ruined his suit!
119
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,379
Sorry, Mum. Can you calm down?!
120
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:44,380
Can everyone please calm down?!
It's Grandma's sodding wedding!
121
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:50,659
OK, so...
122
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,779
Argh!
123
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,859
Death by phone.
124
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,939
Hello? What?
125
00:06:57,940 --> 00:07:01,219
Oh, yes... Thanks, thank you.
126
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,499
Mum, your car will be here
in a hour, so... An hour!
127
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:08,259
All right, Mrs Buller, let's get
your skates on. Martin. Help Val.
128
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:11,619
I'd help that sweet piece of ass
any time! Please stop doing that.
129
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,339
Please stop doing that.
130
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:15,779
I'm soaking...
Oh, shame.
131
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:18,899
Oh, get that, would you?
132
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:22,900
Yes, Miss.
Come on, Mum.
133
00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:25,379
Good morning, gentlemen.
134
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:28,419
Hi, Mr Morris.
Found a parking space, did you?
135
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:31,579
Eh... She's not around, is she?
136
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:33,739
She?
The woman.
137
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:37,139
It's bad luck to see the woman
before the wedding.
138
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,779
Um, no, the woman's upstairs.
139
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:42,139
Well, come outside, then, come on.
140
00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:46,140
What?
Layabouts...
141
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:51,939
Now, then, I've got something
I want to give your grandmother.
142
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:55,179
A noose?
It's something very precious.
143
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,859
I'd like her to wear it
at the wedding.
144
00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:00,579
Oh, right. That's nice of you...
Yeah.
145
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,899
You do know you're taking me
to the synagogue today? Are we?
146
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:07,900
I don't want you looking like a pair
of punk rockers. Tuck your shirt in!
147
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:11,139
Thank you for the sexual assault!
148
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:15,140
And do your button up. No-one wants
to see your scrawny turkey neck.
149
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,579
All right! What about you?
150
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,219
What about me? I'm in my comfies.
151
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,099
Your comfies?
152
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,259
Listen, when I'm in my full regalia,
153
00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:27,219
I shall look like a prince,
I tell you. A prince!
154
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:30,179
OK.
Just a minute...
155
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:32,219
Have you soiled yourself?
156
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,259
What?
He has soiled himself.
157
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,459
That's all I need - a bottom soiler.
158
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:40,339
You'd better not soil your bottom
when you enter the house of God.
159
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,379
OK, I'll try not to, Mr Morris.
160
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:45,259
I'm a pillar of the community.
Pillock of the community.
161
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,619
I beg your pardon?
See you later!
162
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:51,620
I do know what you're doing!
163
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,339
Oh, isn't that beautiful?
164
00:08:58,340 --> 00:09:01,459
Isn't it?
Actually, it is pretty.
165
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:04,259
I told you he was a thoughtful man.
166
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:08,260
Read the note.
167
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:12,300
"Dear Nellie..."
Aw. "DEAR Nellie..."
168
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,659
"Please accept this necklace
169
00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:17,859
"as a token of my affection
on our wedding day."
170
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:21,860
"On our wedding day"!
Ooh! I'm so excited now!
171
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:26,419
"It would truly mean the world to me
if you would wear it."
172
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:29,779
Of course I'll wear it, Lou!
173
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,780
"Even though the necklace originally
belonged to my dead wife...
174
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,939
"..and she wore it
every day of her life..."
175
00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:41,179
I thought I'd seen it before.
176
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:44,019
"Try not to think of her
when you put it on."
177
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:48,020
"Think only of me,
and not me being with her,...
178
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:51,059
"which I was,
179
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,659
"for 60 years."
180
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,939
"Yours, Lou."
181
00:09:56,940 --> 00:10:00,940
What a thoughtful, thoughtful man.
182
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,899
You checked the car's coming?
Yes.
183
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:08,339
You've spoken to the Rabbi? Yes.
You've put bleach in the loos? Yes,
184
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:12,340
after I'd had a sip.
Lovely.
185
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:16,580
There. You look gorgeous, Jackie.
Like a million, billion dollars.
186
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:20,579
You're not being a pimp again,
are you? Once a pimp, always a pimp!
187
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:22,619
Martin!
188
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,899
Do you think
she's going to be all right? Yeah...
189
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,619
Who?
Lady Gaga. Who do you think?!
190
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:31,019
Oh, she'll be fine.
Really?
191
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:34,099
Well, look at you, you're fine.
What's that supposed to mean?
192
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,579
I don't know, really. Just thought
I should say... some words.
193
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:41,580
Some words... Very helpful.
194
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,099
We have a good marriage, don't we?
195
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:48,259
What? Of course we do.
And you know I love you.
196
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:50,499
Yes, of course.
197
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,539
And...?
198
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:54,459
And...?
199
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:58,059
I say "I love you" and you say...
200
00:10:58,060 --> 00:11:00,139
Oh, sorry. Likewise.
201
00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:04,140
Likewise?
I love you likewise.
202
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:08,779
I love you likewise too.
203
00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:12,459
Actually, you could have just
used the word "similarly".
204
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:15,299
Mum? Yes?
Grandma's crying.
205
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,099
Oh...
206
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:23,100
Boys, who's Lady Gaga?
207
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,339
Mummy?
208
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,619
Oh, Jackie...
209
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,659
Are you all right?
210
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:33,059
I'm OK, darling. I'm OK.
211
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:36,499
What are you...? Oh, Mum.
212
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:40,500
I wonder what
Sidney is thinking of me now.
213
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:43,299
Don't be silly.
214
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,179
I'm sure Dad's really...
215
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,219
happy for you.
216
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,299
Really?
217
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:54,300
I am doing the right thing,
aren't I? What?
218
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:57,299
Marrying Lou.
219
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,979
As long as you're happy and sure.
220
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,579
Yes.
221
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:06,580
You are sure, aren't you, Mummy?
222
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:09,139
We've run out of bog roll.
223
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,939
Sorry...
224
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:14,940
That's when that donkey bit Sidney
on the chin! Ha! Ha, ha...
225
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:23,500
Mum, do you remember that donkey?
I do. It did not like your father.
226
00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,539
No...
227
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:29,819
It did its toilet all over him.
228
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:33,100
Yeah...
229
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:50,620
Right.
230
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:54,260
Time to get remarried.
231
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,739
Hello, Jackie, you look nice.
232
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,419
Hi, Jim. I thought you were the car.
233
00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:05,019
You thought I was a... car?
234
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,739
Is it important?
We're really busy...
235
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:10,859
Yes, of course,
getting ready to go to the mosque.
236
00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,059
Synagogue.
Ooh, yes. No.
237
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:17,060
We wanted to give your mother
a little something for her nuptials.
238
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:22,300
Oh...
Wilson... OK.
239
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,739
R-Remain...
240
00:13:25,740 --> 00:13:29,619
Um...
241
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:32,659
Blimey.
Er, thanks, Jim.
242
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,699
Yeah.
What is it?
243
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:38,700
It's an original 18th-century
24-piece porcelain tea set.
244
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,499
Is it? Yes.
It's been in the family for years.
245
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,019
Used to belong to Marie Antoinette.
246
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,339
Really?
247
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:49,940
I was going to donate it
to the British Museum...
248
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,779
Oh!
249
00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,779
Ohh!
250
00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:59,476
Oh, dear.
251
00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:02,353
Hurry up, Val.
Nearly there.
252
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:06,407
Where is the car? It's meant
to be here! Well, hurry up!
253
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:10,547
Ohh... Calm down, Jackie.
I can't calm down!
254
00:14:10,602 --> 00:14:14,321
Take your hot ass in the
kitchen, make me a hot cup of tea!
255
00:14:14,322 --> 00:14:17,201
Ladies and gentleman, may I present
256
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:19,922
our beautiful bride.
257
00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:31,202
Well, what do you think?
258
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,241
Careful!
Mum, let me help...
259
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,522
Careful of my hair!
260
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:41,121
That's it, Nellie...
Careful of my dress!
261
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:45,122
Try and find your mother
some heroin.
262
00:14:45,162 --> 00:14:49,162
Right. Time to get the lunatic.
263
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,241
I wonder if this is
the right house!
264
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:09,002
Once again,
excellent parking skills. Excellent.
265
00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:14,841
Please be lying dead on the floor.
In a pool of blood.
266
00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,882
Don't come in.
267
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:19,361
Thank you.
All in white?
268
00:15:19,362 --> 00:15:22,921
The prince!
269
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,961
Right.
270
00:15:24,962 --> 00:15:27,161
What's so funny?
Nothing.
271
00:15:27,162 --> 00:15:30,361
What's with the bin bag?
You'll see.
272
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:32,681
Recycling Grandma.
273
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,321
No, no.
We're not going in that.
274
00:15:35,322 --> 00:15:37,681
We're going in this.
Are we?
275
00:15:37,682 --> 00:15:41,041
It's my wedding day and
I wish to travel in my own vehicle.
276
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:44,001
The deathmobile.
Come on, get your legs in that.
277
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:45,361
What?!
278
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:49,001
I'm not having you soiling
your grubby bottom in my car.
279
00:15:49,002 --> 00:15:52,681
Now, come on, get your legs in.
Great idea. Go on, Adam.
280
00:15:52,682 --> 00:15:55,481
God...
That's it.
281
00:15:55,482 --> 00:15:58,001
That's it.
282
00:15:58,002 --> 00:16:01,641
Good.
Ooh, nice fit.
283
00:16:01,642 --> 00:16:05,642
Now, get in.
Go on pusface, hop in.
284
00:16:09,562 --> 00:16:13,562
And no soiling!
285
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,401
Oh, come on!
286
00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:20,921
Can you drive any slower?!
287
00:16:20,922 --> 00:16:24,922
Silence!
288
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:28,641
Finally!
Wait.
289
00:16:28,642 --> 00:16:30,681
Have you soiled yourself?
290
00:16:30,682 --> 00:16:33,441
Not yet, Mr Morris.
Good boy.
291
00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:37,442
Yes, good boy.
Oh, get off!
292
00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:40,041
Where the hell have you been?
293
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,481
Average speed of vehicle -
1.5 miles per hour.
294
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:47,281
Bloody thing!
Right, where's the woman?
295
00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:50,722
You were in a bin bag.
I was in a bin bag.
296
00:16:52,922 --> 00:16:55,161
The stupid berks are here.
297
00:16:55,162 --> 00:16:59,162
Where have you...? Have we got time
to buy a crossbow? Or make one?
298
00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:02,761
Come on!
Wait, Martin... What?!
299
00:17:02,762 --> 00:17:04,721
Oh, yes.
300
00:17:04,722 --> 00:17:07,361
Erm, I need to tell you something,
301
00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:11,362
but... please don't kill me...
OK.
302
00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:14,401
You ARE page boys.
WHAT?!
303
00:17:14,402 --> 00:17:17,801
Sorry! I bloody knew it!
I didn't want to tell you earlier.
304
00:17:17,802 --> 00:17:20,841
But it'll be fine, just fine...
Coming, Mummy! Mum!
305
00:17:20,842 --> 00:17:23,521
Great. We're page boys.
Little page boys!
306
00:17:23,522 --> 00:17:27,161
Stop fussing. Just walk behind
your Grandma and hold up her dress.
307
00:17:27,162 --> 00:17:29,281
Hold up her dress?!
It's an honour.
308
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,281
Yes. For three-year-old girls!
Mr Goodman?
309
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:36,282
Chin up, lads.
Oh, pissing shit-buckets!
310
00:17:38,402 --> 00:17:42,402
Shalom.
311
00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:58,842
I wish that stupid git would
play something we bleeding know.
312
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:09,322
Here she comes.
313
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:26,121
Hmm.
314
00:18:26,122 --> 00:18:29,801
Page boys.
Little page boys.
315
00:18:29,802 --> 00:18:32,681
This is really happening.
316
00:18:32,682 --> 00:18:36,682
Yeah.
Yeah...
317
00:18:57,802 --> 00:19:01,281
Well, Lou. How do I look?
318
00:19:01,282 --> 00:19:05,282
Like you, only more done up.
319
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:10,241
Ladies and gentlemen, what a
wonderful, truly beautiful occasion
320
00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:13,281
we have before us here today.
Literally hell.
321
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:16,721
Nellie and Lou,
in the very prime of their life,...
322
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,201
One way of putting it.
..finding true love again
323
00:19:19,202 --> 00:19:21,441
and declaring it here before God...
324
00:19:21,442 --> 00:19:24,201
Speak up! Speak up!
I said "finding true love".
325
00:19:24,202 --> 00:19:26,121
Oh, that. Love...
326
00:19:26,122 --> 00:19:29,801
It is plain to see that
the Lord Almighty, HaShem,
327
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:33,201
has truly blessed
these two special people here today.
328
00:19:33,202 --> 00:19:35,241
Wouldn't you agree?
329
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,841
NO!
330
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:41,842
No! Wilson! No!
331
00:19:41,962 --> 00:19:44,801
Oh, I'm sorry,
332
00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:48,802
Your Majesty. Where do dogs sit?
333
00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:53,841
No dogs!
No Wilsons!
334
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:57,842
Yes...
335
00:19:59,442 --> 00:20:03,442
Place the ring on Nellie's finger,
Lou, and repeat after me.
336
00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:07,482
Harei at mekudeshet, k'dat Moshe...
337
00:20:08,442 --> 00:20:11,201
Sh-Shalom. Shalom. Shalom...
338
00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:12,641
Shh.
339
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:16,241
Have they done the sacrifice yet?
340
00:20:16,242 --> 00:20:19,281
..a love that will sustain
and nourish you both
341
00:20:19,282 --> 00:20:21,361
as you enter this holy covenant.
342
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:24,201
And now for the moment
you've all been waiting for.
343
00:20:24,202 --> 00:20:28,202
Dreading.
The wedding vows.
344
00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:31,441
Do you, Lou Anthony Morris...
345
00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:34,281
Please, Lord, let him die.
Please die...
346
00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:36,481
Heart attack...
Liver failure...
347
00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:38,761
..to be your wife? I do.
348
00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:41,641
Shit on it.
349
00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:45,441
Thank you, Lou.
That's my bit done. Your go now.
350
00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:48,441
Do you, Nellie...
No, Grandma. Please...
351
00:20:48,442 --> 00:20:51,401
..enter into this holy covenant
of affection and truth
352
00:20:51,402 --> 00:20:54,001
and take Lou Anthony Morris
353
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:58,002
to be your husband?
354
00:21:05,082 --> 00:21:06,961
Nellie?
355
00:21:06,962 --> 00:21:09,241
Well, get on with it!
356
00:21:09,242 --> 00:21:11,641
I...
357
00:21:11,642 --> 00:21:14,841
I...
358
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:17,601
I...
Mum? Mummy?!
359
00:21:17,602 --> 00:21:19,761
Mrs Buller? Mummy?!
360
00:21:19,762 --> 00:21:21,601
Grandma?!
What's going on?
361
00:21:21,602 --> 00:21:24,361
Mummy? Mummy!
Grandma?
362
00:21:24,362 --> 00:21:27,561
Mum, can you hear me?
Oh, God...
363
00:21:27,562 --> 00:21:30,201
Call an ambulance!
Shimon, ambulance!
364
00:21:30,202 --> 00:21:34,202
Pull yourself together, woman.
Call a bleeding ambulance!
365
00:21:38,282 --> 00:21:42,282
Oh, God... It's all right, Jackie.
That's it. It's OK...
366
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:46,161
Grandma? Grandma?
You have to let her breathe.
367
00:21:46,162 --> 00:21:50,162
She's not going to die, is she, Mum?
Oh, Jonny...
368
00:21:51,082 --> 00:21:54,681
We love you, Mum. We love you,
Grandma. Love you, Grandma.
369
00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:57,761
Stay in there, Nellie.
How long to the hospital?!
370
00:21:57,762 --> 00:22:00,441
Not long.
You hear that, Mum?
371
00:22:00,442 --> 00:22:04,442
Nearly at the hospital, they'll
look after you. Yeah, Grandma.
372
00:22:04,682 --> 00:22:07,561
She's moving.
Mum? Nellie?
373
00:22:07,562 --> 00:22:11,241
She wants to say something.
374
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:15,242
Jackie... Mummy...
I need to talk to you.
375
00:22:15,442 --> 00:22:18,641
Of course, Mum. Anything.
I'm not ill.
376
00:22:18,642 --> 00:22:20,921
No, of course you're not ill.
377
00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:23,642
No,... I'm not ill.
378
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:26,521
What?
I'm pretending.
379
00:22:26,522 --> 00:22:29,761
Pretending?
No, she's confused. Wait, wait...
380
00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:32,122
Pretending?
Yes.
381
00:22:32,122 --> 00:22:34,641
So you're not... dying?
382
00:22:34,642 --> 00:22:37,242
No.
Not even a bit? No.
383
00:22:37,242 --> 00:22:41,242
You faked a heart attack? At
your wedding? In front of everyone?
384
00:22:41,442 --> 00:22:44,481
I couldn't think of what else to do.
385
00:22:44,482 --> 00:22:48,482
What else to do? I was not going
to spend the rest of my life
386
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:53,202
with that jumped-up little arsehole.
387
00:22:53,322 --> 00:22:57,322
You mean...?
She's got to keep her mask on.
388
00:23:04,442 --> 00:23:08,356
I'm free! I'm free!
389
00:23:11,697 --> 00:23:14,782
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390
00:23:14,832 --> 00:23:19,382
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