All language subtitles for Friday Night Dinner s03e04 The Anniversary.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,479 Um, Pissface... No! 2 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:43,480 Baby. 3 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:48,079 Bye! Jonny! 4 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,959 Argh! 5 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,999 Such a cockhole. Well, you would know. 6 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,039 Argh! 7 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,159 What's the matter, you idiot? Nothing. 8 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,679 Don't. What? 9 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:58,959 Hello?! 10 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,919 Happy anniversary! 11 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,399 Where are they? 12 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,119 Double suicide? Fingers crossed. 13 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,640 Mum?! 14 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,919 What's going...? 15 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,959 Oh, my God! 16 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,159 Hurry up, lover boy! 17 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,479 What are you two bleeding idiots doing here? 18 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,479 Er, it's Friday night. You feed us. 19 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,639 I told you to come later, remember? No. 20 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,039 Who is it? 21 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,559 The bloody boys are here. 22 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,159 The boys? I thought they were coming at eight. 23 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,399 Didn't you tell them? Hi, boys. 24 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,479 Hi, Mum. Happy anniversary. 25 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,439 Thanks. Lovely flowers. 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,079 You were meant to tell them to come later. What? 27 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,920 Hurry up! 28 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,679 It's a good look. Thank you. 29 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:47,919 What's going on? 30 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,920 What? Oh, your mother and I were... having a bit of time to ourselves. 31 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,879 OK. We were just making love. Oh, God! 32 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,439 Right. We're going to go and sit in the car for 20 minutes, 33 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,839 then come back in again and pretend this never happened. 34 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,599 Good idea. Yes, good idea. 35 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,480 Actually, better make it half an hour. 36 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,759 They still have sex. 37 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,319 Sorry, how many times will you be saying that tonight? 38 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:19,320 Er... two more times. They still have sex, they still have sex. 39 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,959 Why couldn't they have just stopped when they had you? 40 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,599 They're so selfish. So selfish! 41 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,600 Uh-oh, here comes Lover Boy. Yup. 42 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,800 All done! 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,519 Oh, hi, boys. 44 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,359 Hello. Hello again. 45 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,119 Aren't you going to give me a kiss? 46 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,120 Yeah, give your mother a kiss. Um. 47 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,759 What's the matter with you two?! 48 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,679 What? Nothing. 49 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,279 Ahh... You're embarrassed! No, we're not! 50 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,479 We're not embarrassed. 51 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,480 You are! Martin, look at them - they're all embarrassed! 52 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,639 Lads, there's nothing wrong with your mother 53 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,639 and I enjoying a deeply physical relationship. 54 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,399 OK. Shall we go and sit in the car again? 55 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,999 Or under the car. 56 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,279 Ahh, they're so cute. 57 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,559 Come on! 58 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,560 Ah, the pleasures of the flesh! 59 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,839 Boys, look at the beautiful flowers Dad got me. 60 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,240 OK, we're looking at them... Then what happens? 61 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,879 So, 26 years. What do you think of that, eh? 62 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,159 We think, can you please stop kissing Mum now? 63 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,879 Yeah, it's getting spooky. 64 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,679 Spooky?! It is spooky. 65 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,680 How can it be spooky? Your mother's not a corpse. 66 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,759 You know, if your mother and I had never met all those years ago, 67 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,759 you two would never have been produced. 68 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,759 Produced! Those two acts of penetration... 69 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,879 Martin! Penetration?! 70 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,799 OK, we're just going to be sick on the floor. 71 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,959 And the walls. 72 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,159 Don't be ridiculous, it's just biology. 73 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,600 Lovely way of putting it. 74 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,119 Right. When do I get my present? 75 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,239 Not again... 76 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,239 Dad, how old are you? 12. 77 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,519 We do presents after dinner, remember? Yes! 78 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,199 He won't stop asking me. 79 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,959 Well... It's just that I got you something special. Really? 80 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,959 Well, I made you something special. You made me something? 81 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,239 That's not worrying. What did you make me? 82 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,959 Ah-ha! You'll have to wait and see. 83 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,519 What is it, a shoe? An electric chair? 84 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,999 Oh, God, am I going to hate it? 85 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,879 Of course you won't hate it. Would I really make you something horrible? 86 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,880 I don't know. Are you able to make me something nice? 87 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,679 Please stop. 88 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,479 Right, I'm going to get it! 89 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,480 No-one come out till I say. 90 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,840 Blimey. Wonder what it is? 91 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,399 Great. He's nailing us in. 92 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,639 Martin? 93 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,919 OK, come out now. 94 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,920 With our hands up? 95 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,399 What you doing? 96 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,279 Da-na! 97 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,280 What is it? Well, go on. 98 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,679 Hah! 99 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,799 I painted it myself. Did you...? 100 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,039 Who is it? 101 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,879 Who is it? Your mother. Is it? 102 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,119 That's Mum? 103 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,639 The woman standing next to us right now? Yes. 104 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,879 That's me? That's you. Do you like it? 105 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,439 Um... Did you paint it from memory? 106 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,959 Yes, a really bad memory? 107 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,239 Or a terrible nightmare? Thank you. 108 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,719 No. A photograph. 109 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,279 Of a different woman? 110 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,999 Shut up! Do you like it? 111 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,999 Of course I... like it. 112 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,639 It's a really original anniversary present. 113 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,639 See, I knew you'd like it. I'll get the champagne. 114 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,759 Boys, do I really look like that? 115 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,760 Course you do. Look. 116 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,279 I seriously can't tell which one's which. Mmmm. 117 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,280 Oh, God. I can't have that thing hanging there, looking at me. 118 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,839 I think the champagne's in there. Still like it? 119 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,359 Of course! 120 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,599 It's got to go. 121 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:24,279 Really, but it's so beautiful! Jonny! 122 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,439 You all right? Yeah, no, it's nothing. 123 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,759 Can't find it anywhere. There's some flat cola. 124 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,239 Hold on a minute. 125 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,599 Agh! You're such a turd! 126 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,759 Adam! 127 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,599 What's the matter with him? 128 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:41,079 Boys? Boys?! 129 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,519 What's going on? You're acting like your arm's about to drop off. 130 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,439 Tell me. No. 131 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,119 Jonny! 132 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,639 All right... But don't say anything. 133 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,159 You've got leprosy. 134 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,239 I've got a tattoo. What?! 135 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,719 I got a tattoo. Rubbish! When? 136 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,919 Last week. It bloody kills. 137 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,399 Last week?! Oh, my God! Let me see. 138 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,759 No way. 139 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,319 What do you mean no way? I want to see your tattoo. 140 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,359 Sh! You'll tell Mum. 141 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,879 Course I won't tell Mum. Just show me it. 142 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,039 You'll take the piss. 143 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,040 No, I won't. Unless it's of a man with giant cocks all over his face. 144 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,439 Very good. 145 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,079 Is it of a man with giant cocks all over his face? 146 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,999 No, it's more sort of... Words. 147 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,039 Words? What, like, "I am a twat?" Hmm. 148 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,319 Are you all right in there? 149 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,439 Yes, Mum. 150 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,839 What are you doing? 151 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,959 Coming! 152 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,439 Don't tell Mum. 153 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,679 Sorry, we were just... Jonny's got a tattoo! 154 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,439 What?! You shit! Ow! 155 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,719 Argh!!! 156 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,559 Sorry! Please can I see it? You bastard! 157 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,679 A tattoo?! You got a tattoo? 158 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,759 Martin. Jonny's got a tattoo! 159 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,559 What? You mustn't get tattoos! 160 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,239 Christ! Will everyone please stop hitting my tattoo?! 161 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,639 He said it again! He's got a tattoo! I can't believe it. 162 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,999 Excuse me... I can't believe you, Jonathan. 163 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,439 Agh! 164 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,039 You know how much I hate tattoos. 165 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,959 Yes, you know how much Mum hates tattoos. 166 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,239 Shut up! 167 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,239 It's not, like, a naked lady or something, is it? 168 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,359 Please leave me alone. 169 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,199 It's basically just porn all over his body. 170 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,159 Seriously! What is it? An ape? 171 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,439 What? Why would I get a tattoo of an ape? 172 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,479 To remind you of where you came from originally. 173 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,839 Not a bad answer, actually. 174 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,559 Why did you go and get a tattoo?! 175 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,439 I just felt like it. You felt like it? 176 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,519 Everyone does it. 177 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,799 Yeah, Grandma's got an eagle on her tits. Adam! 178 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,479 Or a bear? An angry bear? What? 179 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,479 Your tattoo. It could be of an angry bear. 180 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,759 I knew a bloke, he had one of an angry bear. 181 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,479 He was an optician but he drowned. 182 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,479 You see what can happen when you get a tattoo? 183 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,679 You are so dead. Well, show us then. 184 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,599 God. All right. 185 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:44,600 I'm sure you'll really like it, Mum. 186 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,559 There. 187 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,599 Oh, my God. It's a skull. 188 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,279 My son has a skull on his arm. A skull! 189 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,559 It looks a bit like you, Jackie. Thank you! 190 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,799 The hair. 191 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,239 That is pretty terrible. 192 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,559 Shut up. It's art. It's really not art. 193 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,079 Why did you have to get this done on our anniversary?! 194 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,039 I didn't get it done on your anniversary. 195 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,359 It doesn't say "Happy Anniversary, Mum and Dad" on it. 196 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,439 At least that would have been something nice. 197 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,479 What are those words? 198 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,679 It's Latin. "Vive celer, adulescens morere." 199 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:14,079 I think I can translate. "I am a massive penis." 200 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,559 Very good. 201 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,679 Well, what does it mean? 202 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,999 Um, it means... "Family comes first." 203 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,039 Bollocks! 204 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,359 It does. Does it? 205 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,360 Yes. Cos, you know, I love my family. 206 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,439 Well, at least you were thinking of us when you had it done. 207 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,559 Yeah. It's horrible. 208 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,399 Are you absolutely sure it definitely means 209 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,599 "family comes first?" 210 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,959 Yes, I am sure, thank you. 211 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,039 Right, can we stop talking about my tattoo now? 212 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,559 You know Grandma's popping in after her bridge evening. 213 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,559 You better not show her, she'll have a bloody stroke. 214 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,999 She will if she speaks Latin. 215 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,839 Internet language translator. 216 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,039 Adam! 217 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,439 Translation - "live fast and die young." 218 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,479 What?! 219 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,639 Jonny's tattoo. "Live fast, die young." 220 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,799 Mum! Is that really what it means, live fast, die young? 221 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,399 What? You want to die young? 222 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,119 No, it's just a... Look can we stop now, please? 223 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,359 Martin, Jonathan wants to die young. Does he? 224 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,359 Yes. He wants to die young. Tell him! 225 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,559 You're not to die young! 226 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,839 Argghhh! 227 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,399 God! I hate you all! 228 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,679 Jonny! 229 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,559 Go and finish the table! Jonnyboo! 230 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,199 Sorry... 231 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,639 Oh, dear. Yeah. 232 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,799 It did look a bit like your mum. I know! 233 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,039 Not as much as your excellent painting. 234 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,799 Thank you. Maestro. 235 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,719 Right, down there. Sir. 236 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,719 Um, Adam. What? 237 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,439 Can I talk to you? Really? 238 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,079 What, on the stupid posh chairs 239 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,239 that no-one in this family has ever sat on? 240 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,039 Just sit, you moron. 241 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,119 An audience with the Pope. What? 242 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,999 If this is about females... 243 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,519 You know, if there's anything you want to ask me, you can always... 244 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:58,799 Ask you? 245 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,559 You know... Sex things. 246 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,599 Sex things! Ugh, thank you, Dad. 247 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,159 So dead. Pissface. 248 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,599 There's nothing to be embarrassed about. 249 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,879 Your mother and I do sex things. 250 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,759 Please kill me now. 251 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,439 You shouldn't be scared of sex. It's just simple biology. 252 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,679 Seriously, if you could just shoot me in the mouth. 253 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,319 For example, did you know that a man's erection... Urghh! 254 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,599 Well, you know what a man's erection is, don't you? 255 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,519 Course I know what a man's erection is! 256 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,079 Yes, well, a man's erection is basically just capillary 257 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,599 action of the blood. 258 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,759 Capillary action? 259 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,479 Yes. So the next time you're with a lady and thinking about... 260 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,639 Penetration. 261 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,199 Please not the 'P' word again! 262 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,959 You can tell her from me, it's just capillary action of the blood! 263 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,719 OK, I'll definitely tell her... From you. Thanks. 264 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,759 Ah! Ahhh! 265 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,919 You shitting clot! 266 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,319 Stop it! Stop it! 267 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,839 That's it, bath-time for baby pus face. 268 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,239 Argh! 269 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,309 Stop it! 270 00:11:53,811 --> 00:11:57,111 I'm really not happy with you. 271 00:11:57,162 --> 00:11:59,722 Adam! My lovely chairs. 272 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,580 Sorry, Mum. 273 00:12:03,582 --> 00:12:05,942 Thanks for the cool clothes, Dad. Pleasure. 274 00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,536 I really don't look ridiculous. 275 00:12:07,537 --> 00:12:11,537 No, you really do look ridiculous. Pull your trousers up. 276 00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:17,497 Don't you dare! Just sit down. 277 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,016 Right, can we all try and make this 278 00:12:20,017 --> 00:12:23,336 a special anniversary dinner, please? 279 00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:27,337 OK. So, there's steak tonight. 280 00:12:27,377 --> 00:12:31,377 Ooh! Lovely bit of squirrel beef! 281 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:35,617 Oh, not now. 282 00:12:38,537 --> 00:12:42,537 Meat! 283 00:12:43,257 --> 00:12:47,216 Hi, Jim. Hello Jackie. Can I come in? 284 00:12:47,217 --> 00:12:49,896 We don't have long. 285 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,896 Um, are you drunk? 286 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,296 Not drunk, more sedated. 287 00:12:55,297 --> 00:12:58,296 Sedated? Yes, heavily. 288 00:12:58,297 --> 00:12:59,376 Um... 289 00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:03,377 Thank you, Jackie. Wilson, come on. Come on. Come on, Wilson. 290 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:07,617 Good boy. That's it. Come on. Wilson. Oh! 291 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:14,656 Boys? Martin?! 292 00:13:14,657 --> 00:13:17,456 Are you OK? What happened? 293 00:13:17,457 --> 00:13:18,696 Everything all right? 294 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:22,496 Hello, boys and man. 295 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,816 Jim's sedated. Sedated? 296 00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:28,817 Yes, you see, I went to take my special pills for my... 297 00:13:30,617 --> 00:13:33,176 We don't need to know. ..funny bottom. 298 00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:37,177 The thing is, they look just like Wilson's sleepy pills. 299 00:13:39,497 --> 00:13:41,056 You took Wilson's sleeping pills? 300 00:13:41,057 --> 00:13:45,057 Yes, Martin, I opened Wilson's bottle, 301 00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:49,177 put a couple of pills in my hand and then swallowed them. 302 00:13:52,937 --> 00:13:56,416 Jim? Oh, dear. I've done it again. 303 00:13:56,417 --> 00:14:00,417 We should call an ambulance. No amalamalemce. 304 00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:03,976 OK, then, let's get you back home. Home... 305 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:07,416 We can't send him home like that. What?! 306 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:09,736 What about our steaks? 307 00:14:09,737 --> 00:14:13,737 Come on, Jim. Come through. 308 00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:16,136 Help me! 309 00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:20,137 Come on, Jim. 310 00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:23,736 Margaret Thatcher? Fantastic. 311 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:27,737 What? No, it's Jackie. Jackie. Oh, Jackie. 312 00:14:27,777 --> 00:14:30,576 Wonderful anniversary. 313 00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:34,576 Come on, come on, Jim, let's get you in the living room. 314 00:14:34,577 --> 00:14:38,577 Please, Jim. 315 00:14:39,057 --> 00:14:42,336 I'm fading, I'm fading... 316 00:14:42,337 --> 00:14:46,337 Jim?! Jim?! 317 00:14:48,457 --> 00:14:52,457 Night-night, mummy. 318 00:14:57,577 --> 00:15:01,577 Oh, God! 319 00:15:02,997 --> 00:15:06,997 Some more chippies. How's sleeping beauty? 320 00:15:07,277 --> 00:15:09,996 Are you sure we shouldn't call an amalamalemce? 321 00:15:09,997 --> 00:15:12,196 He'll be fine. Will he? 322 00:15:12,197 --> 00:15:16,197 Well, if he does die, we can just bury him under the drive! 323 00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:18,996 Our special anniversary dinner. 324 00:15:18,997 --> 00:15:22,556 Ahh, come on, Mum. When are we doing my present? 325 00:15:22,557 --> 00:15:24,876 All right, I'm 12. 326 00:15:24,877 --> 00:15:26,676 Nice steak? Lovely. 327 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,636 Yeah, not as lovely as Jonny's tattoo. 328 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,036 Or Adam's beef water. Ugh! 329 00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,276 You pair of inbreeds! 330 00:15:34,277 --> 00:15:37,196 Why did you have to get that horrible tattoo? 331 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,396 All right! Pass me the wine. 332 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,676 More wine? Do you want to die young? 333 00:15:41,677 --> 00:15:43,876 Mum, tell him. Are you really unhappy or something? 334 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:47,636 I mean, you must be to write, I want to die young, on your arm. 335 00:15:47,637 --> 00:15:50,596 Jackie. Actually, it was live fast, die young. Shut up. 336 00:15:50,597 --> 00:15:53,236 My brother the Hell's Angel, sorry, local estate agent. 337 00:15:53,237 --> 00:15:57,237 All right, I lost my job, OK?! 338 00:15:58,077 --> 00:16:01,716 I lost my job. 339 00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:04,076 Oh, Jonny. Arm! Sorry. 340 00:16:04,077 --> 00:16:08,077 You lost your job? Yeah, I lost it. 341 00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:10,556 Stealing, were you? 342 00:16:10,557 --> 00:16:12,876 When? 343 00:16:12,877 --> 00:16:16,196 A couple of weeks ago. Staff restructuring. 344 00:16:16,197 --> 00:16:20,197 I.E, you were crap. Why didn't you say, Jonnyboo? 345 00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:23,996 I didn't want to upset you. 346 00:16:23,997 --> 00:16:25,876 Say something, Martin. 347 00:16:25,877 --> 00:16:28,356 Well, if he's lost his job, he might as well die young. 348 00:16:28,357 --> 00:16:30,836 Have you seen the economy? Thank you, Dad. 349 00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:34,837 Is that why you went out and got the...? Yeah, I guess. 350 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:41,796 It's not the nicest tattoo in the world, is it? Well... 351 00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:43,476 It's really horrible. Revolting. 352 00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:46,876 Argh! 353 00:16:46,877 --> 00:16:49,396 Jim? Fabulous! 354 00:16:49,397 --> 00:16:52,396 Where is he? Jim?! Where's my painting? 355 00:16:52,397 --> 00:16:56,397 Ahhhh! My horse is in the hospital! 356 00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:01,055 Jim? Come on, Jim! 357 00:17:01,056 --> 00:17:05,056 Wait, you don't think he's... Sleepwalking? 358 00:17:05,656 --> 00:17:08,895 Seriously, it's meant to be, really dangerous, you can't wake him. 359 00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:11,135 Yeah, it could kill him. Right, let's wake him, then! 360 00:17:11,136 --> 00:17:13,055 Where is he? 361 00:17:13,056 --> 00:17:16,535 Ah, please don't say he's in our bedroom. 362 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:20,295 He's not in your bedroom. 363 00:17:20,296 --> 00:17:24,296 He is in your bedroom. 364 00:17:25,176 --> 00:17:28,855 Jim. Jim! 365 00:17:28,856 --> 00:17:31,415 Come on, Jim. What is he doing? 366 00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:35,416 Shhhh! You can't wake him. 367 00:17:35,456 --> 00:17:38,655 Hello, Elsie. 368 00:17:38,656 --> 00:17:42,656 Ugh! Excellent. 369 00:17:43,376 --> 00:17:46,935 Oh, there. 370 00:17:46,936 --> 00:17:50,055 God. Dad's sex pants. Capillary action, eh, dad? 371 00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:52,415 Yes. What? Nothing. 372 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:55,255 Not my bed. 373 00:17:55,256 --> 00:17:59,256 I'm completely made of bosoms! 374 00:18:03,176 --> 00:18:05,935 Oh, God! What are we going to do?! 375 00:18:05,936 --> 00:18:08,375 Burn the bed? Burn the house? 376 00:18:08,376 --> 00:18:12,376 I know. What? My present! 377 00:18:12,616 --> 00:18:16,616 Oh, Jackie. I love it. It's absolutely terrific. 378 00:18:16,736 --> 00:18:20,575 Really? Come here. 379 00:18:20,576 --> 00:18:24,576 Please... See, what it does is, it makes small things, far away, 380 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:28,935 look much closer, and much bigger. Really, dad? 381 00:18:28,936 --> 00:18:32,295 Well? Still snoring away. Still in our bed? 382 00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:34,375 Actually, he's under your bed. Great. 383 00:18:34,376 --> 00:18:36,455 You really don't think we should call someone? 384 00:18:36,456 --> 00:18:39,935 Who are we going to call? Robert Mugabe?! 385 00:18:39,936 --> 00:18:41,575 Good boy, Wilson. 386 00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:45,576 Um... Hello, Jim. Sleep tight, Wilson. 387 00:18:47,576 --> 00:18:50,135 Jim?! 388 00:18:50,136 --> 00:18:52,015 Jim?! 389 00:18:52,016 --> 00:18:54,215 He's locked us in! Shit on it! 390 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:58,216 Jim! Jim! Open the door, Jim! 391 00:19:02,816 --> 00:19:06,055 Bloody hell. I told you, you can't open them without the key. 392 00:19:06,056 --> 00:19:08,855 Which you lost. Which I lost. 393 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:12,175 An hour and 20 minutes... ugh! Jim! 394 00:19:12,176 --> 00:19:14,375 Seriously, no-one has a phone on them? No! 395 00:19:14,376 --> 00:19:16,935 And you're absolutely sure there isn't a computer in here? 396 00:19:16,936 --> 00:19:19,175 There's a printer. Great, we'll print our way out. 397 00:19:19,176 --> 00:19:22,095 So, what, we just die in here then? Live fast, die young. 398 00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:24,015 Very clever. 399 00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:26,615 Grandma will be here soon, so... 400 00:19:26,616 --> 00:19:28,695 Oh, yes, Supergranny will save us. All right! 401 00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:31,735 And what happens if Grandma doesn't come round, or Jim doesn't wake up? 402 00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:34,295 Yeah, we could starve to death. Don't be silly. 403 00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:37,175 We could. All right, well, if we were really that hungry, 404 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,735 we'd just have to... eat dad. 405 00:19:39,736 --> 00:19:41,455 Eat me? Yes. Why me?! 406 00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:44,535 What? You wouldn't sacrifice your own life for your sons? 407 00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:47,015 Those two pillocks? No way! Oh, that's nice. 408 00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:49,335 So, the boys could be dying of starvation in here, 409 00:19:49,336 --> 00:19:52,215 and you wouldn't let them eat you? Charming. Yes, charming, Dad. 410 00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:55,655 Why can't they eat you? Because I'm their mother. 411 00:19:55,656 --> 00:19:57,375 Definitely makes sense. 412 00:19:57,376 --> 00:20:01,376 Oh, my God! Grandma. Grandma! Grandma! Mum! 413 00:20:05,456 --> 00:20:09,255 The Goodman residence. 414 00:20:09,256 --> 00:20:10,615 Jacqueline? 415 00:20:10,616 --> 00:20:13,095 We're in here! We're in here! 416 00:20:13,096 --> 00:20:16,615 You're in there? Yes! What are you doing in there? 417 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:20,616 It's a bit complicated. Do you want me to let you out? 418 00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:24,936 Oh, for fuck's sake! Jonny! 419 00:20:25,616 --> 00:20:29,495 Yeah! It's Supergranny! Oh! Thanks, Nellie. 420 00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:32,535 What happened? You saved us. From eating each other. 421 00:20:32,536 --> 00:20:34,135 I am waking that man up now, 422 00:20:34,136 --> 00:20:36,375 and I do not care if it bloody well kills him! 423 00:20:36,376 --> 00:20:38,815 Careful, Jackie. Grandma, have you seen Jonny's tattoo? 424 00:20:38,816 --> 00:20:42,816 Don't. Adam! Very pretty. 425 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,976 Show us your eagle. What?! Nothing. 426 00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:52,575 OK, Jim, time to wake up now! 427 00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:56,576 Oh, my God! Oh, dear! That's better. 428 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,575 Ah! Jim! Wake up! Wake up! 429 00:20:59,576 --> 00:21:02,575 Actually, no, Martin, no, we shouldn't wake him. 430 00:21:02,576 --> 00:21:05,535 What?! It's too dangerous. 431 00:21:05,536 --> 00:21:08,375 But he's weeing on your face. 432 00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:11,135 Ah, come on. 433 00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:15,136 Jackie! Quick, quick, quick. Shhh. 434 00:21:17,496 --> 00:21:19,935 But, Jackie, your lovely painting. 435 00:21:19,936 --> 00:21:23,415 I know, Martin. And it really was lovely, wasn't it boys? 436 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:26,815 Yeah. I'm sorry, darling. 437 00:21:26,816 --> 00:21:30,495 I spent hours on that. 438 00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:34,496 I... Happy anniversary, anyway. Yeah. 439 00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:41,096 Ahh, isn't that nice? 440 00:21:41,214 --> 00:21:43,614 Jackie? What? 441 00:21:43,714 --> 00:21:46,497 Penetration? 442 00:21:46,549 --> 00:22:11,760 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 443 00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:16,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32005

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.