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1
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,279
All right, Dad?
2
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,359
What?
3
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,479
Hello.
4
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,439
Oh, yes. Hello, Bambino.
5
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,439
Boiling tonight, isn't it?
Pwhoar! Baking.
6
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,279
And why are you in that ridiculous hat?
Protection.
7
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,559
From...?
8
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,639
From the sodding pigeon
that did this.
9
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,239
Jesus! That's all from one pigeon?
Yeah, from one pigeon.
10
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,039
What, and you know the one
that did it, do you?
11
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,039
Oh, I know the one, all right.
It's a flying crapping machine.
12
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,519
I swear it eats other pigeon's crap
then craps that crap back out again.
13
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,559
Nice.
14
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,279
Ooh, I've got the stuff. Good boy.
15
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,359
Here.
16
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,999
Don't give it to me now! Do you
want your mother to strangle me?
17
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,359
All right!
18
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,839
Hide it properly.
19
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:17,919
What?
20
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,519
Down there.
21
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,319
Dad!
22
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,879
Seriously?
23
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,199
Well, go on.
24
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,399
All right!
25
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,639
Adam?
26
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,239
Urgh!
27
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,279
Hi, Mum!
28
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,959
Hi, Adam!
29
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:40,959
It's so good to be home.
30
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,799
You all right?
31
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,039
Oh, yeah, Bobble.
32
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,319
Revolting top.
33
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,679
Thank you.
34
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:47,839
Revolting.
35
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:48,999
Where's Pissface?
36
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,679
Pissface?
Oh, I just got a text from him.
37
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,599
"Won't be long.
Have some exciting news!"
38
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,079
Wonder what it is.
39
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,999
They've located his brain.
40
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,479
Oh.
"P.S. Please spit in Adam's mouth."
41
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,879
Horrible sons!
42
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,479
I've got shit all over my hands.
43
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:08,639
But lovely father.
44
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:09,679
Isn't he?
45
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,199
Martin, do you have to wear your
Little Miss Muffet boots in here?
46
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,479
What?
47
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,239
Oh, Adam, bring Dad's special salad
through, would you?
48
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,479
What?
49
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:20,479
Oh, his special salad.
50
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,759
Oh, dear! Was this yours?
51
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,239
So, Dad's still doing his
low cholesterol thingy?
52
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,759
You know, he's been quite good.
53
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,639
Yesterday, he had
his first aubergine.
54
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:33,719
Blimey!
55
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,799
What's that?
56
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,759
You had an aubergine.
57
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,159
I had an aubergine.
58
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,679
He's done so well, haven't you?
59
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,479
No chips, no chocolate, no cakes,
no cheese for two weeks.
60
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,159
And you've been sticking to it?
61
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,839
Of course.
62
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,079
You've been so brave.
63
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,319
Anything for you, my sweet.
64
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,319
Aw!
65
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,439
Right.
66
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,519
Bring the stuff.
67
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,959
Ow!
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,959
Not here, you imbecile.
69
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,999
Oh, of course, your office.
70
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,999
Hurry up!
71
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,199
I just want to say that this is
the last time I do this for you.
72
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,319
Yes.
73
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:21,319
OK, here's your cheese.
74
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,999
Where's the cakes?
75
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,079
Jonny's on cakes.
76
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,479
Oh, yes, Jonny's on cakes.
77
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,719
Mmm, brie!
78
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,599
Don't know how fresh it's going
to be, having just been down my underpants.
79
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,519
No, that's good.
Means it's melted a little.
80
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,799
Perfect!
81
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,479
So, any, um, females?
82
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,319
I'm really not going to have that
conversation with you right now.
83
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,279
Why not?
84
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,399
Because you're eating
cheese in the loo.
85
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:54,399
So?!
86
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,759
So, this is what it's come to?
87
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,039
Oh, you don't understand
what it's like here.
88
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,959
Your mum's been feeding me
pieces of forest all week,
89
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,079
and for dessert -
bloody fruit salad.
90
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,519
It's like living in Nazi Germany.
91
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,559
Bit of an exaggeration.
92
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,719
Martin, are you in the loo again?
93
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:11,439
Mum.
94
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,439
Coming!
95
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,519
Hold.
96
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:21,759
Dad?
97
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:25,759
Ssh! I know what I'm doing.
98
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,079
Um, hygiene?
99
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,679
What?
100
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,679
Wait!
101
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,119
All clear.
102
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,519
Hi!
103
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,599
Oh, Christ!
104
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,359
Jonny!
105
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,919
All right, Pusface. Females?
106
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,919
No, actually. Dad's drugs?
Dad's drugs.
107
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,919
Here.
108
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,839
Hi, Jonny.
109
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,119
Oh, hi, Mum.
110
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,479
So, what's the big news?
111
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,639
What? Oh!
112
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,679
Thanks, Jonny.
113
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,399
Oh, hello, my darling.
114
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,719
You all right, Martin?
115
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,719
Oh, yes, just...
116
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,719
doing a toilet.
117
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:18,119
There.
118
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,159
I'll put my shirt on.
119
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,479
So, anyway, my news?
120
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,719
Oh, yes, your news.
121
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,279
Yes, my news.
122
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,119
Ha! Ahhh!
123
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,759
So, you know how I'm
the younger brother,
124
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,639
but I'm the only one
with a proper job?
125
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,639
For proper cocks. It's called an estate agent.
Cock agent. Boys!
126
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,999
And you know I've only been
there for, like, six months?
127
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,279
Making the tea,
cleaning the toilet...
128
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,439
Shut up.
129
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,399
Well, I've been promoted!
130
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,039
Oh, my God! Promoted?
131
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,199
Oh, Jonny, that's amazing!
132
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,879
Yeah, well done, Jonny.
Sorry, what's he done?
133
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,959
He's been demoted.
134
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,039
Promoted.
135
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,039
And guess what? Liz was so happy
with my work she gave me...
136
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,559
a company car.
137
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,559
A company car? Oh, Jonnyboo!
138
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,079
Clever boy.
139
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,279
Well done, Pissface.
140
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,039
Come on, I'll show ya.
141
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,639
Ooh, exciting!
142
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,439
And later we'll
go for a family spin.
143
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,559
Ooh, family spin!
144
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,559
Family spin!
145
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,559
Well?
146
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:22,959
Is that it?
147
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,319
Yeah. It's good, isn't it?
148
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,559
I thought you said it was a car.
149
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,399
Huh? It is a car.
150
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,199
Erm, I think that's a house.
151
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,679
It's not a house. It's a car.
152
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:32,799
Made of bricks.
153
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,879
Shut up!
154
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:34,959
Mum?
155
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,039
It does look a bit house-y.
156
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,919
No, Mum, it's just
clever marketing.
157
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,639
Clever, as in total shit?
158
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,039
Ow!
159
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,679
Well, Dad?
160
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,199
Is that your new company car, then?
161
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,039
You know it is.
162
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,519
Do they not like you there?
163
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:50,679
Martin!
164
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,679
Oh, ignore them, darling.
165
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,519
Oh, it's lovely, really
and it's nothing like a house.
166
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:57,639
No, just a car with a mortgage.
167
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,799
Right. Well, thank you.
Thank you, all, very much.
168
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,159
Oh, Jonny, come on!
169
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,639
They really must hate his guts.
170
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,159
Mm.
171
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,279
Jonnyboo!
172
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:11,279
You have done so well
and it's a lovely... vehicle.
173
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,559
Really?
174
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:14,719
Course, darling.
175
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,799
Adam, hasn't your brother done well?
176
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,239
What, to be driving a roof?
177
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,239
Well, at least I'm not
a sad git who writes crap jingles for... paint thinner.
178
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,199
Paint stripper, actually.
179
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,399
Oh, yeah, how could I forget?
You only use it as your ringtone.
180
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,679
'Paint stripper, by Samsons'
181
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,039
It's good for business.
182
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,399
So sad.
183
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,719
That is a bit sad.
184
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,079
Agh, shit on it! Shit on it!
185
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,199
What's the matter?
186
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,319
Bloody hell!
187
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,439
What's the matter?
188
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,919
All right, Dad?
189
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:41,839
You all right?
190
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,679
Move! Move!
191
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,519
Oh, be spatially aware!
192
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,999
What happened?
193
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,999
The bleeding bird just
crapped in my eye!
194
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:56,369
So she must like you,
this, er, Liz lady.
195
00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:57,529
What?
196
00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:58,609
Your boss.
197
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,369
Guess so.
198
00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:02,849
She's... pretty cool actually.
199
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,489
Ooh!
200
00:08:04,490 --> 00:08:05,809
♪ He fancies his boss! ♪
201
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,769
Mum, tell Adam to
piss off, would you?
202
00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:08,849
Adam, piss off. Thanks, Mum.
203
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:11,569
Definitely fancies her.
204
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:14,889
Um, Pusface,
I think someone's phoning you.
205
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:15,929
What?
206
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,169
♪ My balls never dropped
207
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:19,169
My balls!
208
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:22,329
My balls never dropped... #
209
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:24,769
You bloody...
How did you change my...?
210
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,569
Ha-ha! Is it better now?
211
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:28,089
Oh, I think so.
212
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:32,089
Boys, does my eye smell?
213
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:40,209
Argh!
214
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:44,089
Do you have to do that at the table?
215
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,369
So, we're going to try out
the new car later, yeah?
216
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:48,529
House.
217
00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:49,609
Family spin?
218
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:50,969
Lovely, darling.
219
00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:52,969
I'll show you the new office, too.
220
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:55,409
Ooh, will we meet Liz?
Sorry, your new girlfriend.
221
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,249
Mum, when are Adam's
balls going to drop?
222
00:08:57,250 --> 00:09:01,249
Very good.
223
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,569
Argh!
224
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,969
Skill McGill!
225
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:05,729
Ugh, you bastard!
What was that?
226
00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:06,969
Oh, it's eye drops.
227
00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:08,209
Oh, it's potato. Boys!
228
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,329
What's that?
229
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,809
Oh, it's his new toy.
230
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,529
A fax machine.
231
00:09:15,530 --> 00:09:18,129
Dad bought a fax machine?
Don't look at me.
232
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:20,049
Dad, why did you
buy a fax machine?
233
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:22,329
So we can get fax messages, stupid.
234
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:25,249
Why would you ever want to get a fax
message when you've got e-mail?
235
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,529
Are you trying to be a moron?
236
00:09:26,530 --> 00:09:29,609
So you don't have to read
everything off a bleeding screen.
237
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,929
So you're literally the last person
left on Earth using a fax machine?
238
00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:34,569
I've told him, Adam.
239
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,689
Rubbish!
The fax is a great bit of kit.
240
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,689
Lovely bit of squirrel.
241
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:40,649
With bits of forest!
242
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:43,329
Oh, there's a surprise for dessert!
243
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,409
That means fruit salad.
244
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,649
Fruit salad for you maybe,
we'll be on crumble.
245
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,289
Crimble crumble!
246
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:51,089
Delicious crimble crumble.
Pow!
247
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:55,089
Ta-dah!
248
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,969
It's fruit salad.
249
00:09:57,970 --> 00:09:59,849
What did I tell you? Nazi Germany.
250
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,209
What?
251
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,129
Fruit salad and...?
252
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,889
And?
The crimble crumble?
253
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,049
Didn't make any.
254
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:06,449
What?! You what?!
255
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:10,089
Well, Dad's on his
cholesterol thingy,
256
00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:12,329
so I just thought it'd
make a nice change.
257
00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:13,689
A nice change?
258
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,889
What, chopped up bits
of manky old fruit?
259
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:17,329
All right! Sorry!
260
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,329
See what you've done now, Jackie.
261
00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:21,529
Sit down! Where are you going?
262
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:25,489
To open the bloody window,
it's bloody boiling in here. Argh!
263
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:27,209
Hello, all!
264
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,049
Hi, Jim.
265
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,729
Have you been there long?
266
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,809
Probably about 20 minutes.
267
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:34,969
We're sort of in the
middle of dinner, Jim.
268
00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:38,969
Oh, no, don't mind me. You carry on.
269
00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:46,889
Wilson.
270
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,049
Can we help?
271
00:10:48,050 --> 00:10:51,329
I was just bringing
something round for you.
272
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:53,729
Thanks. Er, perhaps it could wait?
Yeah.
273
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,769
Yeah, maybe bring it
round tomorrow.
274
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:58,329
Yes, course I'll do that.
It's only a cake.
275
00:10:58,330 --> 00:10:59,609
Cake? Cake?
276
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:03,609
Did someone say cake?
277
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:09,889
It's Wilson's birthday, everybody!
278
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,009
He's pissed.
279
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:15,289
Hello, Jackie.
You look nice.
280
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,649
Oh, thanks Jim.
281
00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:17,769
Oh!
282
00:11:17,770 --> 00:11:20,209
And hello, Martin. Ooh.
283
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:22,129
Oh, I'm not meant to
kiss you, am I?!
284
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:23,969
Not really.
285
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,729
All gone.
286
00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:26,689
Happy birthday, Lydia?
287
00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:29,969
Lydia? No, they didn't have
a Wilson one in the shop.
288
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,929
Thi-This one was the nearest.
289
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:34,129
But Lydia isn't
anywhere near Wilson.
290
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:36,529
No, I meant nearest for me to reach.
291
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,529
Cheers!
292
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:44,689
Thirsty!
293
00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:46,809
Um... The cake?
294
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:49,449
Yes, of course, the cake.
295
00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:50,529
Lydia?
296
00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:54,169
Yes, got a bit confused
when I was doing the icing
297
00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:56,689
and sort of copied the balloon.
298
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:58,169
Ooh, thank you.
299
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,449
No, Martin, you're on a diet.
300
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:02,129
Well, it's only a tiny nibble.
301
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,249
You promised!
302
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:05,809
Jackie, I had a bleeding
aubergine, for Chrissakes!
303
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:09,809
Go on, Jackie.
304
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:15,369
Mm, mm, mm!
305
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:16,569
It's quite crunchy.
306
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,849
I wanted to make something
that, you know,
307
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:23,369
man and dog can enjoy together.
308
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,969
There's not any dog biscuits
in this, are there?
309
00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:29,969
It's probably about half and half.
310
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,729
Urgh!
311
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:35,729
By the way, there's a funny little
pixie's house sitting in your drive.
312
00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:38,289
We know. It's a car.
313
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,849
Oh, it's a car, is it?
314
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:42,609
Well, it's completely covered
in bird discharge.
315
00:12:42,610 --> 00:12:45,289
Bye, all!
316
00:12:45,290 --> 00:12:46,609
My new car!
317
00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:47,969
Oh, shame.
318
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:50,129
Oh, god!
319
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,409
It's Jonny's.
320
00:12:53,410 --> 00:12:54,689
Just leave it. Jonny!
321
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,849
It's Liz!
322
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:56,769
Just put it down.
323
00:12:56,770 --> 00:13:00,449
Er, I don't quite think so.
324
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,609
Hello?
325
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,009
Adam, it's his boss!
326
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:05,729
Hi, Liz.
327
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:08,329
It's me, it's, it's Jonny.
328
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,089
I've got a,
I've got a bit of a cold.
329
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,489
She believes me!
330
00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:13,449
Stop it!
331
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,049
Who is it?
332
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,809
'And how's the new car?'
333
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,209
Er, fine, fine.
334
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,249
Seriously, Adam!
335
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:22,329
'Well, aren't you going to
say something nice, then?'
336
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:25,249
Er, you're a great boss.
337
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,489
'Why don't you ask me
what I'm wearing?'
338
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:31,209
Really?
339
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,609
What are you wearing?
340
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:37,609
'Just my lacy thong.'
341
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:39,929
OK.
342
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:40,929
Who's he talking to?
343
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,609
Stop it!
344
00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:44,729
'Tell me to take it off.'
345
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:46,569
Er...
346
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,689
'Come on!'
347
00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:52,369
Take off... your lacy thong.
348
00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:54,969
'OK, then.
I'm taking it off right n...'
349
00:13:56,890 --> 00:13:59,249
'Shit! Gotta get that.
See you later, Sexy Bum.'
350
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:03,249
My car is buried in pigeon shit.
351
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,729
What? What's going on?
352
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:12,372
I think Adam just got
a call from a prostitute.
353
00:14:15,113 --> 00:14:16,912
So here's our new office.
354
00:14:16,976 --> 00:14:19,295
Marvellous.
355
00:14:19,296 --> 00:14:20,975
Aren't you going to look?
356
00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:22,335
I don't want to look.
357
00:14:22,336 --> 00:14:24,215
Why not?
358
00:14:24,627 --> 00:14:26,706
I told you why not.
359
00:14:26,707 --> 00:14:28,946
I thought you'd worked
for this car, not...
360
00:14:28,947 --> 00:14:30,426
Shagged for it?
361
00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:32,946
Yes, shagged for it, thank you, Adam.
My pleasure, Mother.
362
00:14:32,947 --> 00:14:35,146
I can't believe you pretended
to be me on the phone.
363
00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:36,226
Oh, I'm sorry, Sexy Bum.
364
00:14:36,227 --> 00:14:38,906
Will you please stop saying that?!
All right, keep your thong on.
365
00:14:38,907 --> 00:14:40,386
Jonny?
366
00:14:40,387 --> 00:14:41,466
What?
367
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:45,466
Does your office have a fax machine?
368
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:50,146
And how old is this Liz
woman anyway?
369
00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:52,146
Bit older, I suppose.
370
00:14:52,147 --> 00:14:53,506
25? 26?
371
00:14:53,507 --> 00:14:55,066
Maybe older.
372
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:57,026
30? 31?
373
00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:58,106
Um...
374
00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:00,986
31?!
That's practically a grandmother.
375
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,826
Very nice!
376
00:15:02,827 --> 00:15:04,866
Shit! What's she doing here?
377
00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:05,866
Oh, my God! Is that...?
378
00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:07,506
No!
379
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:11,026
It's Liz, isn't it?
She is definitely older than 31.
380
00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:15,626
We're not staying here.
Oh, yes, we are!
381
00:15:16,027 --> 00:15:16,866
Get off!
Adam!
382
00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:20,866
What are you doing, you morons?!
383
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:24,746
Hello, Elizabeth.
384
00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:25,786
Hi, Jonny.
385
00:15:25,787 --> 00:15:27,906
How's work?
386
00:15:27,907 --> 00:15:31,266
Good. Good. Very, very busy.
387
00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:34,466
Pretending you're not sleeping together.
What happened to the car?
388
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,506
Bird excrement.
389
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:39,386
Um, this is my dad.
390
00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:41,426
Hello.
391
00:15:41,427 --> 00:15:42,466
Pardon?
392
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,746
And, er, that's my mum.
393
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:48,506
Oh, hi.
Jonny's doing very well here.
394
00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:49,866
Good.
395
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,826
And this is my brother, Adam.
396
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:56,186
It's so lovely to meet you.
397
00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:57,306
And you.
398
00:15:57,307 --> 00:15:58,546
Take 'em off.
399
00:15:58,547 --> 00:15:59,906
Right, so...
400
00:15:59,907 --> 00:16:03,226
Excuse me, do you use fax machines
in your office?
401
00:16:03,227 --> 00:16:04,346
Dad! I'm sorry?
402
00:16:04,347 --> 00:16:05,546
Fax machines.
403
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,066
Um...
404
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,946
We really should be going now.
405
00:16:07,947 --> 00:16:09,066
Oh, really, Jonny?
406
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:09,986
Yes, really, Jonny?
407
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:11,946
Yeah, so, um, I guess I'll...
see you on, er...
408
00:16:11,947 --> 00:16:14,746
♪ I've got a scabby penis,
scabby penis, scabby penis
409
00:16:14,747 --> 00:16:17,746
♪ I've got a scabby penis,
scabby penis, scabby penis... ♪
410
00:16:17,747 --> 00:16:18,866
Just...
411
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:22,186
Monday.
See you Monday.
412
00:16:22,187 --> 00:16:26,186
Ow!
413
00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,106
Lovely family spin.
414
00:16:31,107 --> 00:16:32,546
Yes, thank you, everyone.
415
00:16:32,547 --> 00:16:34,746
43! She's forty-bloody-three.
416
00:16:34,747 --> 00:16:35,306
Yeah, so?
417
00:16:35,307 --> 00:16:37,186
That's practically
a great-grandmother.
418
00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:39,866
And again, thank you, Adam.
419
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,146
Oh, Martin!
420
00:16:41,147 --> 00:16:42,466
What?
421
00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:44,786
You left the window open.
422
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:45,666
Did I?
423
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:48,026
Oh, someone could have broken in
and taken everything.
424
00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:50,226
Calm down, no-one's done anything.
Yeah, Mum.
425
00:16:50,227 --> 00:16:51,146
How do you know?
426
00:16:51,147 --> 00:16:54,866
All right. Come down, Mr Burglar!
427
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:56,346
See?!
428
00:16:56,347 --> 00:17:00,346
Ooh!
429
00:17:01,347 --> 00:17:04,946
And that's the only thing he took...
a fax machine?
430
00:17:04,947 --> 00:17:08,946
Yes, all he took was my fax machine.
431
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,186
What's so funny?
432
00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:11,106
Nothing. Nothing.
433
00:17:11,107 --> 00:17:13,626
I only got it this week.
434
00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:15,306
You bought a fax machine this week?
435
00:17:15,307 --> 00:17:17,586
Yep! Yes, why?
436
00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:21,266
Why would you go out and buy a fax
machine when you can just use email?
437
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:23,706
Tut! So you don't have to read
everything off a...
438
00:17:23,707 --> 00:17:24,666
bloody screen!
439
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,866
Got all the details here somewhere.
440
00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:30,466
Jonny, can I have a word a moment?
441
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,546
Sure, Mum.
442
00:17:31,547 --> 00:17:35,426
Why won't this bloody thing work?
443
00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:37,306
Um, because that's the stapler.
444
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,426
Oh, yes.
445
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,746
You didn't earn it properly, it's not
right. You should give the car back.
446
00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:45,106
Don't be ridiculous.
447
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,506
Oh, I'm being ridiculous, am I,
448
00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:50,306
when... when you've got a boss who
tells you to yank down her thong?
449
00:17:50,307 --> 00:17:54,306
Um, I just found this
in your downstairs loo.
450
00:17:56,627 --> 00:17:58,866
I can't understand it, officer,
why would anyone
451
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:02,346
break into our house
and then hide away all that cake
452
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:06,346
and stuff, er, in our toilet?
453
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,386
I really wouldn't know,
Mr Goodman.
454
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,426
People do the strangest things.
455
00:18:10,427 --> 00:18:11,506
Don't they?!
456
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,426
Yes, don't they?!
457
00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:16,426
Right, I'll take these, then.
458
00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:19,546
It'd be a shame to throw away all
that good food, though, wouldn't it?
459
00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:22,626
Oh, we won't be throwing it away,
we'll be taking it in for analysis.
460
00:18:22,627 --> 00:18:23,746
Analysis?
461
00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:27,106
We found teeth marks in the cheese.
462
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,706
How could you, Martin?
463
00:18:31,147 --> 00:18:34,506
Who the hell's that?
464
00:18:34,507 --> 00:18:37,866
♪ Toilet sex, toilet sex
I like toilet sex
465
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,746
♪ Toilet sex, toilet sex
I like toi... ♪
466
00:18:40,747 --> 00:18:42,746
Mm.
467
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:46,146
Happy birthday, Jackie.
Happy birthday...
468
00:18:46,147 --> 00:18:47,546
Hi, Jim.
469
00:18:47,547 --> 00:18:48,906
Everybody.
470
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:52,906
Look. Um, er, look, ooh, Jim, it...
it's really not a good time.
471
00:18:53,347 --> 00:18:56,426
Did you know
there's a police car in your drive?
472
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,466
Um, yes.
473
00:18:57,467 --> 00:19:00,226
And there's some
policemen in your house.
474
00:19:00,227 --> 00:19:01,466
I'll be in the van.
475
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:02,626
♪ Nee-naw, nee-naw! ♪
476
00:19:02,627 --> 00:19:03,826
OK.
477
00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:07,066
Has... has there... has there been
a murder, officer?
478
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,146
A murder?
479
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,026
No, Jim, there was a burglary.
480
00:19:10,027 --> 00:19:11,826
It's his dog's birthday.
481
00:19:11,827 --> 00:19:13,186
"Lydia"?
482
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:17,186
No - Wilson.
He's either four or nine.
483
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:20,786
Hi Jim. A man stole our fax machine.
484
00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:24,786
Never mind, Martin, you can always
borrow one of mine. I've got five.
485
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,786
Are you a... a neighbour, sir?
486
00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:29,826
Mm, more a fr... friend.
487
00:19:29,827 --> 00:19:31,346
- Neighbour.
- Friend.
488
00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:33,186
- He's a neighbour.
- I don't know if you saw
489
00:19:33,187 --> 00:19:34,666
anyone around here this evening,
490
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,546
but we're looking for a man
in his late 20s,
491
00:19:36,547 --> 00:19:38,066
about so high.
492
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,306
Yes!
Wearing a hat.
493
00:19:39,307 --> 00:19:40,746
It's a baseball cap.
494
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,426
Jeans.
495
00:19:41,427 --> 00:19:42,466
Jeans, dark jeans.
496
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:42,986
And black...
497
00:19:42,987 --> 00:19:44,026
Boots.
498
00:19:44,027 --> 00:19:45,266
You saw him?
499
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:49,266
Yes, yes, we had a lovely chat.
500
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:54,666
He seemed like a very nice man.
Two Wilsons there...
501
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:57,946
Right, and...?
502
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,946
Um, he said he was a cousin,
he's on a visit and lost his keys
503
00:20:04,347 --> 00:20:08,346
and the window was open,
so I gave him a leg up.
504
00:20:10,107 --> 00:20:13,026
So you helped a man
break into our house?
505
00:20:13,027 --> 00:20:13,826
Hmm?
506
00:20:13,827 --> 00:20:16,386
Um, so what else can you
remember about him?
507
00:20:16,387 --> 00:20:17,706
He wa... He was a man.
508
00:20:17,707 --> 00:20:18,546
Right.
509
00:20:18,547 --> 00:20:20,346
Yes, very manly.
510
00:20:20,347 --> 00:20:23,706
Any other features
apart from his general manliness?
511
00:20:23,707 --> 00:20:27,706
Ooh, he probably had a winkie.
512
00:20:29,547 --> 00:20:32,026
It's just really not a lot to go on,
Mrs Goodman.
513
00:20:32,027 --> 00:20:35,946
Er, he was a man
and he had a winkie.
514
00:20:35,947 --> 00:20:37,146
No.
515
00:20:37,147 --> 00:20:39,066
We'll be in touch.
516
00:20:39,067 --> 00:20:41,066
Thanks.
517
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:44,746
Bye, officers.
518
00:20:44,747 --> 00:20:47,306
Maybe I should leave.
519
00:20:47,307 --> 00:20:49,626
Yeah, maybe, Jim.
Come on.
520
00:20:49,627 --> 00:20:52,426
Hopefully you won't meet
those men again.
521
00:20:52,427 --> 00:20:54,866
What?
They were only doing their job.
522
00:20:54,867 --> 00:20:58,266
No, not the policemen,
the men who broke into your house.
523
00:20:58,267 --> 00:20:59,626
Well, bye, all!
524
00:20:59,627 --> 00:21:01,146
Men?!
525
00:21:01,147 --> 00:21:02,266
Men?
526
00:21:02,267 --> 00:21:05,306
Well, yes, yes,
the two men who broke in.
527
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,266
Two men? You said one man.
528
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,946
Well, yes, the policemen men
asked if I saw the man in the hat
529
00:21:10,947 --> 00:21:12,906
but he was with the other man.
530
00:21:12,907 --> 00:21:15,666
You bloody idiot,
why didn't you bleeding say?!
531
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:19,666
Well, one minute, so you let
two men in, but only one ran out.
532
00:21:25,507 --> 00:21:27,586
Now be careful, he might have a gun.
A gun?!
533
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:31,586
Careful, Martin.
534
00:21:33,507 --> 00:21:37,506
Ooh, there's my marmalade.
It's the one with bits in.
535
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:40,586
Anything up there, boys?
536
00:21:40,587 --> 00:21:43,986
No, Mum.
537
00:21:43,987 --> 00:21:46,826
Boiling.
538
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:50,746
Adam, make sure you look
in the ugly cupboards.
539
00:21:50,747 --> 00:21:51,866
OK.
540
00:21:51,867 --> 00:21:52,946
But be careful.
541
00:21:52,947 --> 00:21:56,586
Be careful, Jackie.
542
00:21:56,587 --> 00:22:00,586
Nothing in the ugly cupboards!
543
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,026
Pissface?
544
00:22:02,027 --> 00:22:03,266
What?
545
00:22:05,027 --> 00:22:08,106
Pusface?
546
00:22:08,107 --> 00:22:09,506
Argh!
547
00:22:09,507 --> 00:22:10,226
Argh!
548
00:22:10,227 --> 00:22:11,666
Argh!
549
00:22:17,027 --> 00:22:19,106
Boys?!
550
00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:24,706
What's going on? Argh!
551
00:22:24,707 --> 00:22:28,706
Hello again.
552
00:22:32,427 --> 00:22:33,946
Push and pull.
553
00:22:33,947 --> 00:22:37,946
Thanks!
554
00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:43,266
Yes, that was the other man.
555
00:22:43,387 --> 00:22:44,506
Is everyone all right?
556
00:22:44,507 --> 00:22:45,106
Yeah, Dad.
557
00:22:45,107 --> 00:22:46,306
Yeah.
558
00:22:46,307 --> 00:22:49,786
Who does that funny little car
belong to again?
559
00:22:49,787 --> 00:22:53,506
- Me, why?
- Well, the man's sort of taking it.
560
00:22:53,507 --> 00:22:57,186
What?!
561
00:22:57,187 --> 00:22:58,626
My car!
562
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,866
My new car.
563
00:23:01,867 --> 00:23:03,346
Bad luck, Pissface.
564
00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:05,226
Argh!
565
00:23:05,227 --> 00:23:08,125
Bad luck, Pusface.
566
00:23:08,473 --> 00:23:28,975
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567
00:23:29,025 --> 00:23:33,575
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