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It was Christmas time once again
for the people of Jessica Town.
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The tree was felt and trimmed.
3
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:12,310
The widow Koko was baking her
famous gingerbread cookies.
4
00:00:12,411 --> 00:00:15,013
Even the village playhouse was...
5
00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:17,482
"Titanic"?!
6
00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:18,817
Oh, uh, sorry.
7
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,819
I just can't wait for
"Titanic" to come out.
8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,220
I've been a big Leo fan ever since
9
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:23,522
"What's Eating Gilbert Grape."
10
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,490
I really believed he was a...
11
00:00:25,591 --> 00:00:27,325
Anyway, he was really good.
12
00:00:27,426 --> 00:00:28,960
EVAN:
You should turn that extra train station
13
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:31,001
into an orphanage.
14
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,439
Why would I need an orphanage?
15
00:00:32,505 --> 00:00:35,565
There are no unwanted
children in Jessica Town.
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00:00:35,631 --> 00:00:37,335
Thanks to my steady hand
17
00:00:37,436 --> 00:00:39,853
and harsh, but fair, management style,
18
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,540
everything is perfect.
19
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:43,008
If only it were this easy
20
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,944
to whip a real neighborhood
into shape for Christmas.
21
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:47,587
(ALL SHOUTING)
22
00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:49,748
Order! Order! Order!
23
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,017
Tensions run high this time of year,
24
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,185
but that's why the HOA
25
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,721
elected a Christmas
committee chairperson.
26
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,924
Jessica Huang, the floor is yours.
27
00:01:01,493 --> 00:01:03,962
Lisa, I count 14 plastic
reindeer on your roof,
28
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,230
including three Rudolph.
29
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:06,431
Lose some deer.
30
00:01:06,532 --> 00:01:08,767
Amanda,
you bring store-bought to a cookie swap,
31
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,068
you go home empty-handed.
32
00:01:10,169 --> 00:01:11,136
How could you even tell?
33
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,205
I can taste the laziness. We all can.
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00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:14,740
Deidre, jolly up your eggnog.
35
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No one should have to
drink a quart of cream
36
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,076
to get a buzz.
37
00:01:18,177 --> 00:01:19,645
What night is caroling?
38
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,046
You really want to carol again?
39
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,414
Remember what happened last year?
40
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:26,209
(OFF-KEY)
? A partridge in a pear tree ?
41
00:01:26,459 --> 00:01:27,792
? On the second day of Christmas ?
42
00:01:27,884 --> 00:01:29,480
? When I'm singing up here,
you all should sing ?
43
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:31,578
- ? My true love gave to me ?
- (DEEPER VOICE) ? Down here ?
44
00:01:31,683 --> 00:01:34,380
Christmas is not the
time for mediocrity.
45
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,695
Oh, actually, I have some great news.
46
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,797
My college roommate's
marriage is disintegrating,
47
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:41,299
so Holly's gonna stay
with us this Christmas.
48
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,201
She teaches performance and movement
49
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:44,302
at an art school,
50
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,303
and she's offered
51
00:01:45,404 --> 00:01:46,871
to direct the caroling this year.
52
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:47,973
(ALL MURMUR)
53
00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:50,809
Wow, good luck to Holly.
54
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,711
Maybe she can make some figgy pudding
55
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,879
out of a bunch of rotten figs!
56
00:01:55,781 --> 00:01:58,984
What I'm saying is that
you're all real bad.
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00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,019
S04E10
Do You Hear What I Hear
58
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,254
? Fresh off the boat
59
00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:03,888
? I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ?
60
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,024
? If you don't know,
homey, now you know ?
61
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,459
? Fresh off the boat
62
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,028
? Homey,
you don't know where I come from ?
63
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,296
? But I know where I'm goin'
64
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:12,506
? I'm fresh off the boat
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sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:18,303
Guess who booked passage
67
00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:20,939
on the White Star Line's
ill-fated maiden voyage?
68
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,641
All aboard! (IMITATES FOGHORN)
69
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:23,875
(CHUCKLES)
70
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,978
I got tickets to the "Titanic" premiere!
71
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:27,846
Who's in?
72
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,448
Another period drama?
73
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,216
Remember how hard you tried to sell me
74
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,451
on "Remains of the Day"?
75
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,152
No, thanks.
76
00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:35,420
Sorry, Dad.
77
00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:36,455
I'm reading a book about the Titanic now
78
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,323
and don't want to spoil the ending.
79
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,561
I can't. I'm meeting Nicole for coffee.
80
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,130
I'm thinking of getting mine... iced.
81
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,765
Boys, this is an event.
82
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:50,335
Missing "Titanic" would be unthinkable.
83
00:02:52,371 --> 00:02:53,238
(SIGHS)
84
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,339
Ma, do you want to see a movie?
85
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,463
A lot of people die.
86
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:56,663
_
87
00:02:56,756 --> 00:02:58,210
3 hours and 14 minutes.
88
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:02,114
(LAUGHS)
89
00:03:02,824 --> 00:03:05,026
Ah, is that your Lao Ban Santa costume?
90
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,518
It's your Christmas tradition.
91
00:03:10,593 --> 00:03:13,125
So, any interest in seeing "Titanic"?
92
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,626
You do love others' misfortune.
93
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,028
Eh, if I wanted to watch
white people sink a boat,
94
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,463
I'd watch "Gilligan's Island."
95
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:21,633
Besides,
I have my own disaster to deal with.
96
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,674
Oh, come on. Your hair looks great.
97
00:03:23,924 --> 00:03:25,785
I was talking about caroling.
98
00:03:26,035 --> 00:03:27,172
Oh.
99
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:29,975
? Eight maids a milking ?
100
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,276
? Seven swans a swimming ?
101
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,000
? Six geese a laying ?
102
00:03:33,132 --> 00:03:36,815
? Five golden rings ?
103
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,216
? Four calling birds ?
104
00:03:38,317 --> 00:03:39,551
? Three French hens ?
105
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,019
? Two turtle doves ?
106
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:46,391
? And a partridge in a pear ?
107
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:50,295
? Tree ?
108
00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:52,130
HOLLY: Great job!
109
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,967
Guys, you put me down on
"pear" instead of "tree."
110
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,903
But, hey, that's why we rehearse.
111
00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,070
Holly.
112
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,039
Jessica Huang... HOA Christmas chair.
113
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,007
That was amazing.
114
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,809
It's fun! So much positive energy.
115
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,077
Unlike my marriage.
116
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,012
Mm.
117
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:08,380
So, I was thinking this year,
118
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,714
we would sing at every house
119
00:04:09,815 --> 00:04:12,484
and then end with a grand
finale in the cul-de-sac.
120
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,653
- I thought you didn't want to carol.
- I didn't,
121
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,222
until you flew in the Puerto
Rican Maria von Trapp.
122
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,757
A-Actually, my mom's Canadian,
123
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,425
and my father's Syrian-Jewish,
124
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,227
- but raised in Brazil.
- Mm.
125
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,428
Or maybe you're from Heaven,
126
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:25,230
because this is a Christmas miracle.
127
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,998
Aw, it's nothing.
128
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:27,999
The only challenge is,
129
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,614
is working with so many people.
130
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:31,203
So thin the herd.
131
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,270
Hold auditions
132
00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:33,939
and cut the people who are not worthy.
133
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,073
Like her.
134
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:37,943
No, no!
135
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,477
We can make it work with everyone.
136
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,012
Come on, it's supposed to be fun.
137
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:43,982
It is a visual burden
for people who open doors
138
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:46,017
to see more than six singers.
139
00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:47,953
I don't think that's true.
140
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,654
Make the cuts, Holly.
141
00:04:49,755 --> 00:04:51,723
Snip-snip, Lisa.
142
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,794
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
143
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,028
(IMITATES FOGHORN)
144
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:58,930
Keep it moving, lady!
145
00:04:59,852 --> 00:05:00,709
Louis?
146
00:05:00,854 --> 00:05:01,633
Honey.
147
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,468
Uh, sorry about the foghorn sound.
148
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:04,636
I just excited for Leo.
149
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:05,704
Oh. (LAUGHS)
150
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,139
- Is Marvin here?
- No, he's not.
151
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,308
And would you mind not
telling him you saw me?
152
00:05:10,409 --> 00:05:11,309
I promised I'd wait
153
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:12,711
till "Titanic" comes out on video
154
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,412
so we can watch it together at home.
155
00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,747
He won't see it in the theater?
156
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,649
He was in the Navy,
and he's really worried
157
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,618
about watching a ship go down in public.
158
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,453
I hate going behind his back,
159
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,988
but I just couldn't wait.
160
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,190
I mean, missing "Titanic" would be
161
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,725
- unthinkable!
- Unthinkable!
162
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,093
- Oh!
- Ah!
163
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,394
(BOTH LAUGH)
164
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,629
Don't worry.
165
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,964
Unlike the supposedly
water-tight compartments
166
00:05:33,065 --> 00:05:34,399
inside Titanic's hull,
167
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,533
my lips are sealed.
168
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:36,735
(CHUCKLES)
169
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,804
(MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS)
170
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,840
Why'd you pick this place?
171
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,509
It's way outside my
preferred bike radius.
172
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,144
What? They have great coffee.
173
00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,980
The beans are, like,
extra roasted or whatever.
174
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:50,015
Also...
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00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:52,217
Jackie.
176
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:53,251
Who Jackie?
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00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,219
(THUMPING)
178
00:05:54,739 --> 00:05:57,055
(GRUNTS) Blend, you piece of crap!
179
00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,990
She doesn't take any guff from machines.
180
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,625
Cute, right?
181
00:06:00,726 --> 00:06:02,661
I've been coming here
every day for two weeks,
182
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,996
and yesterday,
183
00:06:05,097 --> 00:06:06,798
she started doing this.
184
00:06:08,999 --> 00:06:10,402
A smiley.
185
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:12,804
I knew this day would come.
186
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:14,172
You need my help with a girl.
187
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,507
So, what do I do?
188
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:16,841
Uh, should I go say hi?
189
00:06:16,942 --> 00:06:18,243
Nah, that'll seem desperate.
190
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,233
Just sit here and give off casual,
confident vibes.
191
00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:23,190
You know, laugh a little,
192
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:24,983
but not too much because
she'll think we're together.
193
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,419
(LAUGHS)
194
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,487
Yeah, see? That's too much.
195
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:31,356
If you want to sit,
you have to order a drink.
196
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,556
Store policy.
197
00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:33,758
Spot me some cash?
198
00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:35,527
Sorry. I'm broke.
199
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,597
So,
I hear Cupid dipped his arrow in coffee
200
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,244
and struck someone square in the ol'
pumper.
201
00:06:42,455 --> 00:06:44,336
Yeah, yeah. You bring your wallet?
202
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,838
EVAN: ? I really need you tonight ?
203
00:06:47,337 --> 00:06:50,842
? Forever's gonna start tonight ?
204
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:53,078
? Forever's gonna start to ?
205
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:56,448
? Once upon a time,
I was falling in love ?
206
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,684
? Now I'm only falling apart
207
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,788
? There's nothing I can do
208
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:07,559
? A total eclipse of the heart ?
209
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:11,763
(APPLAUSE)
210
00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:15,133
Bonnie Tyler takes it out of me!
211
00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:17,569
Next... Uh, Jessica Huang.
212
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,105
(SIGHS)
213
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,806
Get ready to feel.
214
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:23,241
I didn't bring any Kleenex,
215
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:24,909
so when the tears come,
216
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,145
just use your sleeves.
217
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,853
(PLAYS "MY HEART WILL GO ON"
ON RECORDER)
218
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:46,464
? Every night in my dreams ?
219
00:07:46,681 --> 00:07:51,836
? I see you, I feel you ?
220
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:56,775
? That is how I know you ?
221
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,444
? Go on ?
222
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,948
? Near, far ?
223
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:08,286
? Wherever you are ?
224
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:14,259
? I believe that the heart does ?
225
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,096
? Go on ?
226
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:23,935
? We'll stay ?
227
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:28,173
? Forever this way ?
228
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:32,544
? You are safe in my heart ?
229
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:36,214
? And my heart will ?
230
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:42,520
? Go on and on ?
231
00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:48,526
Merry Christmas to all.
232
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:50,695
All right,
let me first start off by saying
233
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:51,763
you all were so great.
234
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,131
I really wish the human eye
235
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,667
could process more than
six people in a door frame,
236
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,669
but apparently it can't.
237
00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:01,706
(ALL MURMURING) JESSICA: Ah.
238
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,641
Ah! Evan you made it!
239
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,544
Vocal rest. Respect.
240
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,121
There must be some mistake.
241
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:12,383
My name's not on the list.
242
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,252
I'm sorry. You didn't make the cut.
243
00:09:16,684 --> 00:09:21,167
I didn't make the cut?
But I hit three octaves!
244
00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:23,536
Did you hear me ascend the ladder?
245
00:09:23,637 --> 00:09:26,239
I climbed up over Celine.
246
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:29,008
I stepped on the shoulders of
that French-Canadian angel,
247
00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:30,076
and I kissed the heavens!
248
00:09:30,177 --> 00:09:32,812
Jessica, you're a wonderful singer.
249
00:09:32,913 --> 00:09:35,482
It's just that you're
lacking a little...
250
00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:36,783
Christmas spirit.
251
00:09:36,884 --> 00:09:38,785
Christmas spirit?
252
00:09:38,886 --> 00:09:41,087
I've seen how you treat
your sister carolers.
253
00:09:41,188 --> 00:09:43,656
You kept yelling "No"
during Amanda's audition,
254
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,391
you slept through Lisa's,
255
00:09:45,493 --> 00:09:46,860
and pretended to hang yourself
256
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,228
while Deidre was singing.
257
00:09:48,329 --> 00:09:50,997
I was kidding.
258
00:09:51,098 --> 00:09:53,733
Hey,
doesn't anyone like to laugh anymore?
259
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:57,303
That kind of negative
energy is toxic in a group.
260
00:09:57,404 --> 00:09:59,372
Just look what happened to Oasis!
261
00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:05,178
So, they're steaming
across the North Atlantic,
262
00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:07,180
- everything's going great.
- MARVIN: Louis.
263
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,883
Hey, Marvin! What brings you by?
264
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,584
So, I'm hiding Honey's Christmas gift,
265
00:10:11,685 --> 00:10:13,353
which is something we do every year...
266
00:10:13,454 --> 00:10:14,420
You know, it preserves
267
00:10:14,522 --> 00:10:16,189
the magic and the
wonder of the season...
268
00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:18,658
When I find this ticket stub...
269
00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:20,660
for a major motion picture.
270
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:21,728
Oh.
271
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,029
Now, I know it couldn't be Nicole
272
00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,330
because she was at a coffee shop.
273
00:10:24,431 --> 00:10:26,866
And Honey told me that
she went to the gym,
274
00:10:26,967 --> 00:10:28,468
but I found this...
275
00:10:28,569 --> 00:10:31,104
in her purse... Goobers.
276
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:34,941
Honey hates the combo of
chocolate and peanuts.
277
00:10:35,042 --> 00:10:36,776
That means she went to the movie
278
00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:39,445
with somebody who was eating these!
279
00:10:40,143 --> 00:10:42,148
Hmm, hmm, sounds like a dead end.
280
00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:44,117
No, there's something going on, Lou.
281
00:10:44,218 --> 00:10:46,286
She's been acting very strangely lately.
282
00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:48,788
I need to stake out some movie theaters,
283
00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:50,256
get to the bottom of this.
284
00:10:50,357 --> 00:10:52,125
Or... don't.
285
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,262
Nah, I gotta go do this thing.
286
00:11:01,335 --> 00:11:02,702
Coffee is great!
287
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:03,803
I feel like the show "Friends"
288
00:11:03,904 --> 00:11:04,871
makes a lot more sense now.
289
00:11:04,972 --> 00:11:06,372
I am super focused.
290
00:11:06,473 --> 00:11:08,074
I've read three articles about hockey.
291
00:11:08,175 --> 00:11:09,108
Hockey!
292
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:10,076
Cupdate!
293
00:11:10,177 --> 00:11:11,611
Look what Jackie wrote.
294
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,313
A heart over the "I"?!
295
00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:15,315
(GRUNTS)
296
00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:16,816
I knew playing "hard to get"
would pay off!
297
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,551
- So what's my next move?
- I don't know!
298
00:11:18,652 --> 00:11:20,753
Well,
how did you first connect with Alison?
299
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:23,656
We met playing piccolo.
300
00:11:23,757 --> 00:11:26,427
Oh, right!
I knew it was doing something.
301
00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:32,532
How can Holly say I don't
have Christmas spirit?
302
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:34,400
Of course, you have spirit, Mommy.
303
00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:36,703
Everyone knows how much
you love Christmas.
304
00:11:36,804 --> 00:11:37,870
Holly just met you.
305
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:39,539
She hasn't had a chance to see that.
306
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,141
Well, I'm off to rehearsal.
307
00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:45,445
Holly's going to fine
tune my step and twists.
308
00:11:49,467 --> 00:11:51,417
As if she could.
309
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,389
So, Marvin came by to tell me
310
00:11:56,490 --> 00:11:59,425
he found your ticket stub
and a box of Goobers.
311
00:11:59,526 --> 00:12:01,027
He thinks you've been acting strange
312
00:12:01,128 --> 00:12:02,795
so he's staking out movie theaters.
313
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:03,457
Ugh.
314
00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:06,165
He always makes some
excuse to stage a stakeout.
315
00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:07,800
I think he just likes eating in his car.
316
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,370
He did order a couple quarts
of scalloped potatoes to go.
317
00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:11,938
I feel kind of bad.
318
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:13,673
Maybe we should just tell him we saw
"Titanic."
319
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,075
I'll tell him after I give
him his Christmas gift.
320
00:12:16,176 --> 00:12:17,176
I don't want to upset him.
321
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,945
Like in "Titanic" when Billy Zane
322
00:12:19,046 --> 00:12:20,847
finds the nude sketch Jack drew of Rose.
323
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,716
I must've missed that scene
when I was in the restroom.
324
00:12:23,817 --> 00:12:25,318
- Well, it was a great scene.
- Oh...
325
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:26,519
- They were all great.
- I know.
326
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,988
I have to admit,
I can't stop thinking about it.
327
00:12:29,089 --> 00:12:29,856
Me neither.
328
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:34,093
("MY HEART WILL GO ON" PLAYS)
329
00:12:34,194 --> 00:12:36,062
- We can't go see it again.
- No way. No.
330
00:12:36,163 --> 00:12:37,897
I mean, not with Marvin
staking out the theaters.
331
00:12:37,998 --> 00:12:39,232
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
332
00:12:40,434 --> 00:12:41,668
(SIGHS)
333
00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:47,073
Perfect. No one will notice us.
334
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,578
Whoo! (ROLLS TONGUE)
335
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:53,613
Oh, wow.
336
00:12:53,714 --> 00:12:54,981
I know what you need to do, Nicole.
337
00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,949
So, every couple has a
special love language, right?
338
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:59,819
Right. For Eddie and Alison,
that language was woodwinds.
339
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,120
(IMITATES FLUTE PLAYING)
340
00:13:01,221 --> 00:13:04,390
For Nicole and Jackie,
that language is coffee cups.
341
00:13:04,491 --> 00:13:05,658
Here's Alison's cup.
342
00:13:05,759 --> 00:13:07,393
No smiley face in her "O,"
No heart atop her "I."
343
00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:08,828
You want to communicate with Jackie?
344
00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:10,563
You speak through these.
345
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,898
My boy done cracked this thing!
346
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:12,999
I'm gonna go grab some coffee cups
347
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,034
so we can workshop the perfect message.
348
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,070
Do you really need a move?
349
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,771
Why not just go up and say "Hi"?
350
00:13:18,872 --> 00:13:20,273
(LAUGHS) Alison, please.
351
00:13:20,374 --> 00:13:22,308
When Nicole needs help dumping her,
we'll come to you.
352
00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:24,043
Whoa. I don't know why I said that.
353
00:13:24,144 --> 00:13:25,678
Sorry. That was the java talking.
354
00:13:25,779 --> 00:13:27,580
It's fine. I've never been happier.
355
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,517
It's crazy, I know,
356
00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:33,486
but I thought maybe they
wouldn't sink this time.
357
00:13:33,587 --> 00:13:34,454
Well, you did your part
358
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:36,155
by yelling "iceberg" at the screen.
359
00:13:36,256 --> 00:13:37,890
MARVIN: Honey?
360
00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:39,625
I'd been to five theaters
361
00:13:39,727 --> 00:13:41,294
and starting to think I was crazy,
362
00:13:41,395 --> 00:13:42,361
but then, here you are,
363
00:13:42,463 --> 00:13:44,363
wearing your "Little Orphan Annie" wig
364
00:13:44,465 --> 00:13:47,844
in the company of some strange,
old woman.
365
00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:50,269
Are you the Goober queen?
366
00:13:52,406 --> 00:13:53,539
Louis?
367
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,274
We just wanted to see "Titanic."
368
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:56,242
I'm sorry, sweetie.
369
00:13:56,343 --> 00:13:57,844
I know I promised you I'd wait,
370
00:13:57,945 --> 00:13:59,312
but I couldn't help myself.
371
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:01,247
You mean you've been doing
all this sneaking around
372
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:02,582
just to see some silly boat movie?
373
00:14:02,683 --> 00:14:04,117
- Yes.
- It's more of a ship, really.
374
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,552
Must be some kind of picture
375
00:14:06,653 --> 00:14:08,888
for you to go through all
this just to see it again.
376
00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:11,824
Oh. (CHUCKLES) It's an amazing movie.
377
00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:14,360
Maybe seeing a boat go down in public
378
00:14:14,461 --> 00:14:17,230
won't be so bad if my
wife and my best friend
379
00:14:17,331 --> 00:14:18,431
are with me.
380
00:14:18,532 --> 00:14:19,398
(CHUCKLES)
381
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:21,567
Oh, we just missed the 7:10.
382
00:14:21,668 --> 00:14:23,736
Oh, well, luckily, it's playing again
383
00:14:23,837 --> 00:14:26,906
at 7:20, 7:40, 7:50,
384
00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:28,441
8:25, 8:55...
385
00:14:32,012 --> 00:14:33,112
(SIGHS)
386
00:14:33,213 --> 00:14:34,580
Where the "H" is Holly?
387
00:14:34,681 --> 00:14:36,149
It's show time!
388
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,017
JESSICA: Tidings!
389
00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:39,418
You all look so nice.
390
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:40,887
We ready to do this?
391
00:14:40,988 --> 00:14:42,288
Uh, you didn't make the cut.
392
00:14:42,389 --> 00:14:43,790
Does Holly know you're here?
393
00:14:43,891 --> 00:14:45,024
Oh, I fired her.
394
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:47,193
? Joy to the world ?
395
00:14:47,294 --> 00:14:49,028
? The Lord has come ?
396
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:50,329
? Let Earth... ?
397
00:14:50,779 --> 00:14:55,096
? Repeat. repeat the sounding joy ?
398
00:14:55,371 --> 00:14:56,353
(CLAPS)
399
00:14:56,455 --> 00:14:57,988
Bravo, Mrs. Huang.
400
00:14:58,089 --> 00:14:59,990
A very merry Christmas to you.
401
00:15:00,992 --> 00:15:02,960
What do you mean you fired Holly?
402
00:15:03,061 --> 00:15:04,261
I took your advice,
403
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,363
and I went to go convince
her how much I love Christmas
404
00:15:06,465 --> 00:15:09,010
when I realized I outrank her.
405
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,902
Who is she to say who
can and can't sing?
406
00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:14,772
It's my committee,
and it's my Christmas.
407
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,408
I can't believe you did
that to her on Christmas!
408
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:19,943
I mean, even her dirtbag husband
409
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,178
had the decency to run off
410
00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:23,013
the day after her birthday.
411
00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:24,481
(SCOFFS)
412
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:26,784
Evan, we don't need them.
413
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,118
We can carol on our own.
414
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,687
Sorry,
but I don't feel like singing with you.
415
00:15:30,789 --> 00:15:32,022
I guess I was wrong.
416
00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:33,757
You don't have Christmas sprit.
417
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,099
I think you're being too critical.
418
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,267
You definitely are.
419
00:15:43,368 --> 00:15:44,868
I'm sorry, but the nautical mistakes
420
00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:46,036
took me right out of it.
421
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:48,238
When a vessel that size breaks apart,
422
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:49,840
she makes a hell of a lot more noise.
423
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:50,974
Hell of a lot more.
424
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,142
(DOORBELL RINGS)
425
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,443
Mm. I'll get it.
426
00:15:53,545 --> 00:15:54,678
All right.
427
00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:57,181
JESSICA: ? Hark how the bells,
sweet silver bells ?
428
00:15:57,282 --> 00:15:59,183
? All seem to say,
throw cares away ?
429
00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:01,185
? Christmas is here
bringing good cheer ?
430
00:16:01,286 --> 00:16:03,220
? To young and old,
meek and the bold ?
431
00:16:03,321 --> 00:16:05,222
? Ding, ding, ding, dong,
that is their song ?
432
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,664
? With joyful ring, all caroling ?
433
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,560
I killed Christmas.
434
00:16:09,661 --> 00:16:11,562
But you love Christmas.
435
00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:13,130
Who else sends everyone on the street
436
00:16:13,231 --> 00:16:14,398
her own ornament?
437
00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:18,735
Evan was so excited about caroling,
438
00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:20,237
and I messed it up.
439
00:16:20,338 --> 00:16:22,072
I ruined Christmas for my son.
440
00:16:22,173 --> 00:16:24,007
MARVIN: Honey, look what I found
441
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,943
in the garage behind the absinthe.
442
00:16:26,044 --> 00:16:29,847
"To Big Daddy, From Honey Poo"
443
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,548
- Marvin, let me...
- Who's Big Daddy?
444
00:16:31,649 --> 00:16:34,251
You call me Boopsy,
Mr. Muffin, and Fish Stick.
445
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:35,352
Never Big Daddy.
446
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,254
I knew you were hiding something.
447
00:16:37,355 --> 00:16:38,906
Open the gift.
448
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,803
A satellite image of a hurricane?
449
00:16:45,196 --> 00:16:46,930
Your sidecar is a weatherman?
450
00:16:47,031 --> 00:16:48,398
It's a sonogram.
451
00:16:51,914 --> 00:16:53,270
I'm pregnant.
452
00:16:53,984 --> 00:16:55,409
I'm Big Daddy?
453
00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:56,940
You will be.
454
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,977
(BOTH LAUGH)
455
00:17:00,078 --> 00:17:02,112
We're gonna have a baby, Honey Poo!
456
00:17:02,213 --> 00:17:03,113
(LAUGHTER)
457
00:17:03,214 --> 00:17:05,415
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.
458
00:17:05,516 --> 00:17:06,884
Is this my Lao Ban suit?
459
00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:08,218
Later, later.
460
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,287
(LAUGHS)
461
00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:11,388
This was supposed to be
462
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,156
your Christmas gift, Fish Stick.
463
00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:14,358
Yeah...
464
00:17:14,459 --> 00:17:15,826
I'm so happy for you!
465
00:17:16,877 --> 00:17:19,229
I've been dying to tell you.
466
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,264
So exciting!
467
00:17:20,365 --> 00:17:22,366
I'm not gonna lie, I am really nervous,
468
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:25,202
but I am so thankful
you'll be here to help me.
469
00:17:25,303 --> 00:17:27,871
Right, to help you ruin
Christmas for your baby.
470
00:17:27,972 --> 00:17:28,906
I'm great at that.
471
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,374
Don't be too hard on yourself.
472
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:31,875
I know you'll figure out a way
473
00:17:31,976 --> 00:17:33,477
to make things right with Evan.
474
00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:35,312
You are a great mother.
475
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:42,152
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
476
00:17:42,253 --> 00:17:43,353
Nicole, we got it!
477
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,455
This is the message you
should give to Jackie.
478
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:51,061
"What up, girl, you gay?
479
00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:53,530
You play any instruments?
480
00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:54,932
Holla back at me."
481
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:58,068
- Confident, cool...
- And a haiku.
482
00:18:01,739 --> 00:18:03,006
It's time.
483
00:18:03,107 --> 00:18:04,832
Take that cup and give it to her.
484
00:18:05,425 --> 00:18:06,677
(INHALES DEEPLY)
485
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,117
Hi.
486
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,419
Hey.
487
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,187
Anything I can help you with?
488
00:18:18,189 --> 00:18:19,523
Yeah.
489
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:21,797
I have something to give you.
490
00:18:27,598 --> 00:18:29,099
My coffee order.
491
00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:31,435
- No!
- My words!
492
00:18:31,536 --> 00:18:33,236
(SIGHS) This must be what it's like
493
00:18:33,338 --> 00:18:35,405
watching your kid strikeout in baseball.
494
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,939
I wussed out and ordered a coffee.
495
00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,681
No smiley face.
496
00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:45,649
No heart.
497
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:46,783
I blew it, guys.
498
00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,051
Did you?
499
00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:50,020
(CHUCKLES) Turn the cup around!
500
00:18:53,224 --> 00:18:54,358
- Digits!
- Yes!
501
00:18:58,663 --> 00:18:59,997
EDDIE: We did it!
502
00:19:00,898 --> 00:19:02,866
(BOTH LAUGH)
503
00:19:04,335 --> 00:19:05,702
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
504
00:19:05,803 --> 00:19:07,180
Evan.
505
00:19:07,681 --> 00:19:09,906
I made you something.
506
00:19:13,544 --> 00:19:16,480
Everyone should have a part
in celebrating Christmas,
507
00:19:16,581 --> 00:19:18,582
inside Jessica Town and out.
508
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:21,679
I'm sorry I ruined caroling.
509
00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,620
I just love Christmas so much,
510
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,322
and I wanted it to be perfect.
511
00:19:25,423 --> 00:19:27,190
Christmas isn't about being perfect.
512
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,192
It's about everyone being together.
513
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,527
Yes, it is.
514
00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:35,788
I'm gonna put this in Jessica Town
515
00:19:35,907 --> 00:19:37,267
next to Menthol Reds National Forest
516
00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:39,236
where Grandma hides her cigarettes.
517
00:19:47,045 --> 00:19:48,845
Yeah, Jessica'll do that to you.
518
00:19:48,946 --> 00:19:50,280
I once ate a pound of gummy worms
519
00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:52,282
because she criticized
the way I walked...
520
00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:53,417
"Like a hooker?"
521
00:19:53,518 --> 00:19:54,951
Yeah, well, you don't move that great.
522
00:19:55,053 --> 00:19:56,486
It might the shoes you're wearing.
523
00:19:56,587 --> 00:19:57,988
(DOORBELL RINGS)
524
00:19:59,557 --> 00:20:00,891
JESSICA: Holly.
525
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,627
I never should've asked you to make cuts
526
00:20:03,728 --> 00:20:06,008
or fired you for making such a dumb one.
527
00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:09,321
And we're lucky to have
you this Christmas.
528
00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:11,835
I know it's late...
529
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:15,439
but would you join the
HOA carolers tonight?
530
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:17,307
This time, the whole herd?
531
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:19,810
You know, I'm gonna do something
532
00:20:19,911 --> 00:20:21,812
my husband never could...
533
00:20:21,913 --> 00:20:24,014
Admit I was wrong.
534
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:26,450
You definitely have the
Christmas spirit, Jessica.
535
00:20:26,551 --> 00:20:28,351
- Come here. Come here.
- Aww!
536
00:20:29,754 --> 00:20:33,390
You should never admit
that you're wrong, okay?
537
00:20:33,491 --> 00:20:35,258
Never admit that you're wrong.
538
00:20:38,983 --> 00:20:41,551
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
539
00:20:46,391 --> 00:20:48,992
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
540
00:20:49,093 --> 00:20:51,161
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
541
00:20:51,262 --> 00:20:53,305
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
542
00:20:53,384 --> 00:20:55,468
? And a happy new year ?
543
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,601
? Good tidings we bring ?
544
00:20:57,702 --> 00:21:00,037
? To you and your kin ?
545
00:21:00,138 --> 00:21:02,306
? Good tidings for Christmas ?
546
00:21:02,407 --> 00:21:04,641
? And a happy new year ?
547
00:21:04,743 --> 00:21:06,710
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
548
00:21:06,811 --> 00:21:09,046
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
549
00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:13,484
? We wish you a merry Christmas ?
550
00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:16,814
? And a happy new year
551
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,191
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
552
00:21:20,291 --> 00:21:22,760
(APPLAUSE)
553
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:27,360
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