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1
00:00:00,469 --> 00:00:02,897
- GOOD MORNING, LAVERNE.
- OH, LORDY.
2
00:00:05,152 --> 00:00:06,351
- WHAT'S--WHAT'S THE MATTER?
3
00:00:06,404 --> 00:00:07,836
- I'M JUST A DAMN FOOL
TO DO IT.
4
00:00:07,872 --> 00:00:09,440
I'M JUST A DAMN FOOL.
5
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:11,974
- TO--TO DO WHAT?
- SET YOU UP
6
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:14,574
ON A BLIND DATE
WITH MY FRIEND ELLEN.
7
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:17,613
ALL RIGHT,
YOU MAY GO OUT WITH HER,
8
00:00:17,648 --> 00:00:18,947
BUT ONLY ON THE CONDITION
9
00:00:18,983 --> 00:00:21,016
YOU DON'T PLY HER
WITH ANY MANNER OF LIQUOR
10
00:00:21,051 --> 00:00:23,019
OR PEDIATRIC SEDATIVE.
11
00:00:25,589 --> 00:00:27,589
- WHAT BLIND DATE?
LAVERNE, I DO NOT NEED
12
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:30,516
TO BE FIXED UP--THANK YOU.
- OH, REALLY?
13
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:34,465
I HAVEN'T NOTICED IT'S EXACTLY
BEATLEMANIA OUT THERE FOR YOU.
14
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,666
- LAVERNE, THERE IS NO DATE.
15
00:00:37,701 --> 00:00:39,968
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE HAVE
ANYTHING IN COMMON ANYWAY?
16
00:00:40,004 --> 00:00:41,437
- WELL, LET'S SEE.
17
00:00:41,472 --> 00:00:44,506
SHE'S UNBELIEVABLY ATTRACTIVE.
18
00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:47,346
NO HELP THERE.
19
00:00:48,446 --> 00:00:49,645
OKAY.
20
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,647
SHE JUST MOVED HERE
FROM BOSTON.
21
00:00:51,682 --> 00:00:54,149
SHE DEVOTES HER LIFE
TO CHARITY.
22
00:00:54,185 --> 00:00:56,985
SHE'S BRIGHT, WITTY, URBANE.
23
00:00:57,662 --> 00:00:59,884
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
CAME UP EMPTY.
24
00:01:01,091 --> 00:01:03,559
OKAY, HEY,
FORGET I EVER MENTIONED IT.
25
00:01:03,594 --> 00:01:06,395
- FINE.
- OH, COME ON, DOCTOR!
26
00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:08,970
I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LIKE HER.
IT CAN'T HURT NOTHIN'.
27
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,933
- LAVERNE, I DON'T KNOW.
- GOOD.
28
00:01:10,968 --> 00:01:13,302
YOU'LL HAVE DINNER AT MY HOUSE
BEFORE THE CONCERT.
29
00:01:13,337 --> 00:01:16,071
IT'LL BE REAL CASUAL.
BE THERE AT 7:00 SHARP.
30
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:18,521
AND I BETTER NOT SMELL
ANY MUSK ON YOU, DOCTOR,
31
00:01:18,576 --> 00:01:20,842
'CAUSE I KNOW
WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT.
32
00:01:25,883 --> 00:01:27,516
-
LIFE GOES ON
33
00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:29,418
AND SO DO WE
34
00:01:29,453 --> 00:01:33,288
JUST HOW WE DO IT
IS NO MYSTERY
35
00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:37,559
ONE BY ONE,
WE FILL THE DAYS
36
00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:41,296
WE FIND
A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS
37
00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:45,200
SOMETIMES THE ANSWER
CAN BE HARD TO FIND
38
00:01:45,236 --> 00:01:48,871
THAT'S SOMETHING
I WILL NEVER BE
39
00:01:48,906 --> 00:01:51,306
I'M ALWAYS HERE
40
00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:55,244
FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED
41
00:01:57,448 --> 00:02:00,816
RAIN OR SHINE,
I'LL BE THE ONE
42
00:02:00,851 --> 00:02:05,187
TO SHARE IT ALL
AS LIFE GOES ON
43
00:02:05,222 --> 00:02:07,689
WE SHARE IT ALL
44
00:02:07,725 --> 00:02:12,528
AS LIFE GOES ON
45
00:02:21,543 --> 00:02:23,926
- ALL RIGHT,
LET'S PUT THIS COMPUTER PROGRAM
46
00:02:23,981 --> 00:02:25,630
THROUGH ITS PACES.
47
00:02:26,707 --> 00:02:29,408
HELLO, ISABELLE.
48
00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:30,809
THIS IS CHARLEY DIETZ.
49
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,445
YOU REMEMBER ME.
WE MET AT THE...
50
00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:36,392
AIRPORT HOTEL COCKTAIL LOUNGE.
51
00:02:37,451 --> 00:02:40,873
[chuckles] HOW COULD I FORGET
YOUR GORGEOUS...
52
00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:44,965
RED HAIR, BLUE EYES...
53
00:02:46,193 --> 00:02:48,494
AND UNEVEN HOOTERS.
54
00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:53,434
UH, OH, UH...
55
00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:55,463
HELLO? HELLO?
56
00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,871
- HEY, CHARLEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
57
00:02:58,906 --> 00:03:01,106
- A FRIEND IN PERSONNEL
NEEDS A COCKTAIL WAITRESS
58
00:03:01,141 --> 00:03:02,574
FOR OUR NEXT CRUISE.
59
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:04,810
I JUST COMPUTERIZED
MY LITTLE BLACK BOOK,
60
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:07,546
SO THE HONEY HUNT
WAS NEVER EASIER.
61
00:03:07,581 --> 00:03:09,047
- CONGRATULATIONS, CHARLEY.
62
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,383
YOU'RE THE FIRST
HIGH-TECH NEANDERTHAL.
63
00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:15,954
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW THOROUGH THIS PROGRAM IS.
64
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,090
- IT'S THE HOTTEST DATE-BOOK
PROGRAM ON THE MARKET--
65
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:20,292
WILT CHAMBERLAIN'S
SLAM DUNK BABE ORGANIZER
66
00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:21,819
AND TAX PLANNER.
67
00:03:22,997 --> 00:03:27,466
- HEY.
- EMILY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
68
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,101
- OH, I JUST RAN DOWN
THE 7-ELEVEN TO PICK UP
69
00:03:29,136 --> 00:03:30,269
A FEW THINGS WE NEEDED.
70
00:03:30,304 --> 00:03:32,371
- THE SEVEN AND ELEVEN?
WHAT THINGS?
71
00:03:32,406 --> 00:03:36,275
TOILET PAPER FOR $3.29.
NO, EMILY! NO!
72
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:38,010
I HAD A COUPON.
73
00:03:38,045 --> 00:03:39,978
IT'S A DOLLAR OFF,
WHICH GETS DOUBLED
74
00:03:40,014 --> 00:03:41,947
AT THE BISCAYNE GROCERY--
DOUBLED, EMILY,
75
00:03:41,982 --> 00:03:43,482
WHICH MEANS
IT'S ALMOST FREE.
76
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:46,919
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
GETTING TOILET PAPER FOR FREE?
77
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:49,802
IT'S--IT'S BETTER THAN SEX.
78
00:03:52,092 --> 00:03:53,527
- THANK YOU.
79
00:03:55,396 --> 00:03:57,829
- YOU KNOW, CAROL,
EVER SINCE DAD LEFT YOU
80
00:03:57,865 --> 00:04:00,499
IN CHARGE OF HOUSEHOLD FINANCES,
YOU HAVE BEEN INSANE--
81
00:04:00,534 --> 00:04:03,969
COUPONS, GENERICS,
USING THE SAME TEA BAG ALL DAY.
82
00:04:04,004 --> 00:04:07,506
- DADDY--DADDY PLACED
HIS TRUST IN ME
83
00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:09,875
TO RUN
THIS HOUSEHOLD EFFICIENTLY.
84
00:04:11,111 --> 00:04:13,378
WHY IS THERE CHANGE
IN THE BOTTOM OF THIS BAG?
85
00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:15,655
- [gasps]
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
86
00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:18,584
- WELL, I THREW IT IN THERE.
I ALWAYS DO.
87
00:04:18,619 --> 00:04:20,485
- AND YOU CALL ME INSANE?
88
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,721
WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAND IT
TO THE GARBAGE MAN?
89
00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:25,157
AND, LOOK, ONE OF THESE QUARTERS
IS A BICENTENNIAL.
90
00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:28,193
YOU KNOW I COLLECT
BICENTENNIAL QUARTERS, EMILY.
91
00:04:28,228 --> 00:04:29,828
HOW COULD YOU?
- OKAY, YOU'VE DONE IT!
92
00:04:29,863 --> 00:04:31,763
YOU'VE OFFICIALLY DRIVEN ME
OUT OF MY MIND!
93
00:04:31,799 --> 00:04:32,965
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
94
00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:37,569
- NO. I HAVEN'T SEEN
CAROL HAPPY SINCE...
95
00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:40,904
I'VE NEVER SEEN
CAROL HAPPY.
96
00:04:42,584 --> 00:04:44,409
- YOU DO REMEMBER ME.
97
00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,369
FABULOUS.
98
00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:49,250
YOU WANTED TO MARRY ME?
99
00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,542
COULD YOU HOLD
FOR A SECOND?
100
00:04:52,828 --> 00:04:54,821
UH-OH, HELP ME OUT, WILT.
101
00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:57,716
OH, YEAH.
[scoffs] MY FAVORITE.
102
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,844
SORRY, BUT YOU'RE JUST
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR ME.
103
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,539
THAT'S RIGHT.
BYE, NOW.
104
00:05:05,574 --> 00:05:07,925
OOH, THAT
REALLY SHUTS THEM DOWN.
105
00:05:08,277 --> 00:05:10,544
BUT THAT WAS MY LAST SHOT
TO GET SOMEBODY FOR THIS JOB.
106
00:05:10,579 --> 00:05:11,945
- JOB?
- YEAH, HE'S LOOKING
107
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:14,014
FOR A COCKTAIL WAITRESS
FOR THE NEXT CRUISE.
108
00:05:14,049 --> 00:05:15,749
- CHARLEY,
YOU'VE JUST FOUND ONE.
109
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:16,917
LOOK, I'VE WAITRESSED BEFORE,
110
00:05:16,952 --> 00:05:19,152
AND I WILL DO ANYTHING
TO GET AWAY FROM CAROL.
111
00:05:19,187 --> 00:05:22,142
TAKE ME, PLEASE.
TAKE ME, TAKE ME, TAKE ME.
112
00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:25,058
- INTERESTING. THOSE WORDS
SOUND SO DIFFERENT
113
00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:27,360
COMING OUT
OF A SOBER WOMAN.
114
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:35,751
HI, FOLKS,
ENJOY THE CRUISE.
115
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:42,693
EXCUSE ME.
116
00:05:42,729 --> 00:05:45,363
THIS IS GONNA SOUND CORNY,
BUT...
117
00:05:45,398 --> 00:05:46,831
HONEST TO GOD,
118
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:50,935
YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I'VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHIP.
119
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:53,947
IN FACT, YOUR BEAUTY'S
INSPIRED ME TO WRITE A POEM.
120
00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,817
"TWINKLE, TWINKLE,
LITTLE STAR...
121
00:05:57,911 --> 00:06:00,732
LET ME PAT
YOUR NICE BEHIND."
122
00:06:03,283 --> 00:06:05,130
[scoffs]
123
00:06:06,052 --> 00:06:07,206
HI.
124
00:06:09,088 --> 00:06:12,089
[coughing]
125
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:17,952
- HEY, CHARLEY.
126
00:06:18,331 --> 00:06:19,931
OKAY,
SO THAT'S TWO MAI TAIS
127
00:06:19,966 --> 00:06:21,265
AND A GLOOM LIFTER.
128
00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:22,967
- HI, EMILY. JUST TOOK
A LITTLE TIME OFF
129
00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:25,102
FROM MY JOB TO SEE YOU.
130
00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:27,638
- CHARLEY, WHAT EXACTLY
IS YOUR JOB?
131
00:06:29,075 --> 00:06:30,378
- MAINLY...
132
00:06:30,777 --> 00:06:32,287
I HAVE KEYS.
133
00:06:32,846 --> 00:06:34,306
- KEYS.
134
00:06:34,581 --> 00:06:36,280
- YEAH, I'VE GOT ACCESS
TO EVERY PART OF THE SHIP,
135
00:06:36,316 --> 00:06:38,983
INCLUDING THE MOST IMPORTANT,
TECHNICAL PARTS,
136
00:06:39,018 --> 00:06:41,152
LIKE THE ROOM
WITH THE BIG WAGON WHEEL
137
00:06:41,187 --> 00:06:43,063
THAT MAKES THE BOAT
GO LEFT OR RIGHT.
138
00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:46,157
- I-ISN'T THAT THE BRIDGE?
139
00:06:46,192 --> 00:06:48,292
- [chuckling]
NO, EMILY.
140
00:06:48,328 --> 00:06:50,098
YOU'RE SUCH A LAND LADY.
141
00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:52,463
NO, THE BRIDGE IS THE THING
WE GO UNDER
142
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,465
WHEN WE TOOT
THE STEAMY THING.
143
00:06:56,102 --> 00:06:57,935
- HEY, CHARLEY.
- HEY, ALAN.
144
00:06:57,971 --> 00:07:00,037
LISTEN, HE'S THE COMIC.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS GUY.
145
00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:02,673
ALAN, I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY NEIGHBOR EMILY WESTON.
146
00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:04,041
- HI, EMILY.
- HI.
147
00:07:04,077 --> 00:07:07,845
- WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?
[both laughing]
148
00:07:07,881 --> 00:07:09,747
- I'M KIND OF BUSY.
149
00:07:09,782 --> 00:07:12,817
- AH, THAT'S WHAT CHARO SAID,
UNTIL SHE SAW MY SHOW.
150
00:07:12,852 --> 00:07:16,025
I STILL HAVE CASTANET MARKS
ALL OVER MY BODY!
151
00:07:16,389 --> 00:07:18,356
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
152
00:07:18,391 --> 00:07:21,259
DIRECT FROM THE WACKY SHACK
IN BRANSON, MISSOURI,
153
00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:24,228
THE COMEDY STYLINGS
OF ALAN HARDY.
154
00:07:24,264 --> 00:07:25,396
- [laughing]
- OKAY!
155
00:07:25,431 --> 00:07:27,765
- THIS GUY'S INCREDIBLY FUNNY.
156
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,101
- GOOD EVENING.
IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.
157
00:07:30,136 --> 00:07:32,103
WHAT A SPECIAL TREAT
WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT,
158
00:07:32,138 --> 00:07:34,705
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BECAUSE RIGHT HERE AT TABLE TWO
159
00:07:34,741 --> 00:07:37,275
WE HAVE WHALE WATCHING
FOR YOU, OKAY?
160
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,745
[laughter]
161
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:44,081
- WHALE WATCHING--
IT JUST GETS FUNNIER EVERY TIME.
162
00:07:44,117 --> 00:07:45,550
- OH, YEAH,
HE'S A REAL CHARMER.
163
00:07:45,585 --> 00:07:47,418
- HEY, LADY,
SMACK HIM ON THE BACK,
164
00:07:47,453 --> 00:07:49,754
MAYBE HE'LL COUGH UP
JONAH, OKAY?
165
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,355
[laughter]
166
00:07:51,391 --> 00:07:53,394
- JONAH.
167
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,729
WHO'S JONAH?
168
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,135
- NOW, TONIGHT, AT 8:00 P.M.,
THE S.S. OCEAN QUEEN
169
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,137
IS PLEASED TO OFFER
MULE RIDES
170
00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:09,273
DOWN SALLY'S CLEAVAGE.
HO!
171
00:08:09,818 --> 00:08:11,909
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
172
00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:13,215
AND REMEMBER...
173
00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:16,176
PEACE AND LOVE
ARE THE ONLY THINGS
174
00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:17,845
THAT CAN BRING US
ALL TOGETHER.
175
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,847
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
OKAY.
176
00:08:19,882 --> 00:08:22,216
GOOD NIGHT.
DRIVE CAREFULLY. HEY.
177
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:25,652
- OKAY, SO THAT'S ONE MAI TAI
AND A STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRI.
178
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:28,088
- I'D LIKE TO ORDER
ONE EMILY WESTON, PLEASE.
179
00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:29,756
YOU CAN JUST DELIVER THAT
TO MY ROOM
180
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:30,958
LATER THIS EVENING, OKAY?
181
00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:33,556
- SORRY, ALAN,
BAR'S CLOSED, OKAY?
182
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:35,629
- HERE'S A RIDDLE.
183
00:08:35,664 --> 00:08:37,397
WHAT COUGHS AND MAKES LOVE
LIKE A TIGER?
184
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,932
- I GIVE UP.
- [coughs]
185
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,764
ROOM 424.
186
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:43,918
MIDNIGHT TO 1:00
WILL DO JUST FINE.
187
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,309
- OH, SHOOT.
188
00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:51,645
I THOUGHT I COULD CATCH
THE END OF ALAN'S SHOW.
189
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,789
- HMM.
CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY.
190
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:55,749
- DON'T YOU THINK HE'S FUNNY?
191
00:08:55,784 --> 00:08:58,252
- I THINK HE'S AN UGLY,
OFFENSIVE BOAR.
192
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:01,088
CHARLEY, HE'S BEEN COMING ON
TO ME NONSTOP THE LAST TWO DAYS.
193
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,948
- [laughing]
THAT'S ALAN FOR YOU.
194
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,127
HEY, DID HE DO "WHAT COUGHS
AND MAKES LOVE LIKE A TIGER"?
195
00:09:07,162 --> 00:09:08,577
- YES.
196
00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:10,989
- THAT'S MINE.
197
00:09:16,272 --> 00:09:18,639
- NOW, IF ANYTIME,
YOU SEE ME POINT TO MY TEETH
198
00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,374
THAT MEANS THERE'S SOMETHIN'
STUCK IN YOURN.
199
00:09:20,409 --> 00:09:22,142
- LAVERNE, WILL YOU--
WILL YOU STOP IT, PLEASE?
200
00:09:22,177 --> 00:09:23,710
I KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE
WITH A LADY.
201
00:09:23,746 --> 00:09:27,114
- I'M SORRY. I'M JUST NERVOUS
'CAUSE IT'S ELLEN.
202
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,982
YOU'RE JUST GONNA LOVE HER.
203
00:09:29,018 --> 00:09:32,953
SHE'S WISE AND WARM.
SHE'S JUST PLAIN WONDERFUL.
204
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:35,540
I GUESS THAT'S HOW
THEY MAKE 'EM THERE IN BOSTON.
205
00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:37,040
[doorbell rings]
OH! THERE SHE IS!
206
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,607
SUCK IT IN!
SUCK IT IN!
207
00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,598
ELLEN.
208
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,267
OH, THANK YOU FOR COMIN'.
209
00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:49,202
LOOKY HERE,
HERE'S THE DOCTOR.
210
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,772
- HELLO, ELLEN, I'VE HEARD
A LOT ABOUT YOU. HARRY WESTON.
211
00:09:51,807 --> 00:09:54,374
- HOWDY.
IT'S A RIGHT PLEASURE.
212
00:09:57,813 --> 00:09:59,313
- HOW--HOWDY?
213
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,782
- OOH-WEE, THAT TRAFFIC
WAS SOMETHIN' AWFUL.
214
00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:03,984
I FELT LIKE A WORM
IN A BAIT BIN.
215
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,152
- [chuckling]
216
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,473
- OOH--OOH--OOH-WHEE.
217
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,767
ELLEN, I-I THOUGHT LAVERNE
SAID YOU WERE FROM, UH, BOSTON.
218
00:10:11,802 --> 00:10:15,571
- YES, SIREE,
BOSTON, MISSISSIPPI...
219
00:10:15,606 --> 00:10:17,907
[giggling]
220
00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:20,809
HOME OF THE FOREMOST
BODY-BAG COMPANY IN AMERICA.
221
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,347
- B-BODY BAGS.
- YEP.
222
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,816
I'D SAY YOU'RE
ABOUT A SIZE SEVEN.
223
00:10:27,852 --> 00:10:29,685
[chuckles]
ZIP.
224
00:10:32,456 --> 00:10:33,589
- [laughs]
225
00:10:33,624 --> 00:10:36,225
I JUST LOVE THAT BOSTON HUMOR.
GET IT? ZIP.
226
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,294
[laughing]
227
00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:40,996
- IT'S THE BEST BODY-BAG JOKE
I EVER HEARD.
228
00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:44,269
- COME ON, Y'ALL, NOW, Y'ALL
SIT DOWN HERE ON THE COUCH.
229
00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:46,368
NOW, BOSTON'S GOT
A LOT OF HISTORY TO IT.
230
00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:48,436
TELL THE DOCTOR
ABOUT IT, ELLEN.
231
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:51,974
- EVERY YEAR WE CELEBRATE
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.
232
00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:54,510
- I THOUGHT THAT
WAS BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS.
233
00:10:54,545 --> 00:10:56,712
- NO, OUR "T"
STANDS FOR TABASCO--
234
00:10:56,747 --> 00:10:59,448
CELEBRATES THE FACT THAT WE ARE
NOT PART OF LOUISIANA.
235
00:11:01,886 --> 00:11:03,619
WE ALL PUT
ON OUR CRAWDAD MASK,
236
00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:05,753
AND WE POUR TABASCO
IN A SWAMP.
237
00:11:06,691 --> 00:11:08,624
- WELL, THAT'S
A VERY INTERESTING STORY.
238
00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:10,433
- IT'S NOT OVER YET.
239
00:11:11,365 --> 00:11:13,329
THEN WE THROW IN A PIG,
240
00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:15,936
SYMBOLIZIN'
A LOUISIANA POLITICIAN.
241
00:11:16,286 --> 00:11:18,000
NOW, IF THAT PIG STICKS
HIS HEAD UP,
242
00:11:18,035 --> 00:11:20,970
IT MEANS WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE
TWO WEEKS OF DEAD PIG ODOR.
243
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:27,126
- MUST BE HELL
GETTING A HOTEL ROOM THAT WEEK.
244
00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:30,980
- THAT WAS A JOKE, DOCTOR.
245
00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:32,915
NOT REAL QUICK, IS HE?
246
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,917
[women laughing]
247
00:11:34,952 --> 00:11:37,996
- LIKE A TURTLE
ON A HIGHWAY.
248
00:11:38,889 --> 00:11:40,889
[women laughing]
249
00:11:42,927 --> 00:11:44,509
- SEE YOU TOMORROW.
250
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,506
- HEY, NEIGHBOR!
251
00:11:54,605 --> 00:11:56,171
- [sighs]
HELLO, ALAN.
252
00:11:56,207 --> 00:11:57,606
- I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON A NEW JOKE.
253
00:11:57,642 --> 00:11:59,041
I THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL ME
254
00:11:59,076 --> 00:12:00,813
WHAT YOU THINK OF IT.
- I HATE IT.
255
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,278
- IT'S ABOUT A VERY HOT,
SENSUAL YOUNG LADY.
256
00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:05,219
THE JOKE IS
SHE DOESN'T GET IT.
257
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,916
BUT IF SHE'D JUST GIVE IN
FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT,
258
00:12:07,952 --> 00:12:11,256
SHE'D FINALLY GET
A TASTE OF PARADISE.
259
00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:14,917
- SMOOTH.
260
00:12:16,478 --> 00:12:18,894
- WELL, THAT'S
A VERY FUNNY JOKE.
261
00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:20,596
I'LL SEE YOU, ALAN.
- HEY, DON'T GO.
262
00:12:20,631 --> 00:12:22,031
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
263
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:23,866
I'M AS EXCITING AS A RIDE
AT DISNEYLAND.
264
00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:26,970
AND BELIEVE ME,
IT'S NOT A SMALL WORLD, OKAY?
265
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,838
- I THINK YOU'RE LIVING
IN FANTASY LAND.
266
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,734
- YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
STICK AROUND AND FIND OUT?
267
00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:33,873
- ALAN.
- HEY, CHARLEY.
268
00:12:33,909 --> 00:12:35,619
SHE'S FEISTY, HUH?
269
00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:38,978
- LET HER GO, ALAN.
- IT'S OKAY, CHARLEY.
270
00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:41,080
- YEAH, WE'LL SEE YOU
LATER, CHARLEY.
271
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:43,616
EMILY AND I NEED TO FINISH
OUR DISCUSSION.
272
00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:45,952
- MM, NO, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE DONE NOW.
273
00:12:45,987 --> 00:12:48,855
- WHAT'S WITH YOU
ALL OF A SUDDEN? GET LOST.
274
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:52,225
- NO. I-I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE
MY FRIEND HERE WITH A CREEP.
275
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,660
- WATCH IT, DIETZ.
276
00:12:53,695 --> 00:12:55,161
- SORRY.
277
00:12:55,197 --> 00:12:56,767
DRUNK CREEP.
278
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,872
- YOU JUST MADE
A BIG MISTAKE, PAL.
279
00:12:59,139 --> 00:13:00,305
- ALAN, THERE YOU ARE.
280
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,806
HEY, LISTEN, THE CAPTAIN
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU
281
00:13:01,842 --> 00:13:03,308
ABOUT DOING A ROAST
FOR THE FIRST MATE.
282
00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:04,776
- OKAY!
- OKAY.
283
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,512
- YOU'RE GONNA GET
YOURS, DIETZ.
284
00:13:07,547 --> 00:13:09,647
I'LL MEET YOU HERE TOMORROW
AFTER THE SHOW.
285
00:13:09,683 --> 00:13:11,581
- OH, PLEASE.
286
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:15,321
- I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT
FROM HERE TO PANAMA.
287
00:13:19,893 --> 00:13:21,350
- PANAMA?
288
00:13:23,029 --> 00:13:26,264
[scoffs]
NO WAY I'M GOING TO EUROPE.
289
00:13:37,837 --> 00:13:39,458
[knock at door]
290
00:13:41,441 --> 00:13:43,436
[high-pitched voice]
WHO IS IT?
291
00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:46,833
- IT'S ME, CHARLEY.
- [exhales deeply]
292
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:48,838
[high-pitched voice]
BE RIGHT THERE.
293
00:13:52,752 --> 00:13:54,543
[normal voice]
HI.
294
00:13:55,154 --> 00:13:57,321
- LOOK, I JUST WANT TO SAY
295
00:13:57,357 --> 00:13:59,090
I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR STICKING UP FOR ME
296
00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:00,958
WITH ALAN, BUT...
YOU'RE NOT REALLY THINKING
297
00:14:00,993 --> 00:14:03,027
OF FIGHTING THAT IDIOT
TOMORROW NIGHT, ARE YOU?
298
00:14:03,062 --> 00:14:05,796
- EMILY, I GUESS THERE'S GUYS
OUT THERE THAT WOULD BACK OUT,
299
00:14:05,832 --> 00:14:07,565
BUT I'M ONE OF THOSE
300
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,746
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME/
JOE PISCOPO TYPES...
301
00:14:11,237 --> 00:14:14,171
WHO DOES HIS TALKING
WITH THESE.
302
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:15,840
- OH, SO--
SO YOU'VE FOUGHT BEFORE.
303
00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:17,575
- HEY, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.
304
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:18,937
IT'S WHAT I DO.
305
00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:22,460
MY FISTS ARE REGISTERED
WITH THE MARITIME...
306
00:14:22,982 --> 00:14:24,833
FIST REGISTRY.
307
00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:27,785
- UH-HUH.
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
308
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,421
BUT I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I THINK
309
00:14:30,456 --> 00:14:32,223
IT'S MORE COURAGEOUS
FOR A MAN NOT TO FIGHT.
310
00:14:32,258 --> 00:14:34,277
- EMILY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
311
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,704
BUT I WANT TO HEAR
A LOT MORE ABOUT IT.
312
00:14:36,863 --> 00:14:38,262
- WELL, THINK ABOUT IT,
CHARLEY.
313
00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:40,598
YOU'RE NOT GONNA PROVE ANYTHING
BY FIGHTING ALAN.
314
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:43,167
AND, BESIDES,
HE COULD REALLY HURT YOU.
315
00:14:43,202 --> 00:14:44,818
- WELL, OKAY.
316
00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:47,438
AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO,
FOR YOUR SAKE,
317
00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:48,906
I-I WON'T FIGHT ALAN.
318
00:14:48,941 --> 00:14:51,242
INSTEAD, I'M GOING TO DO
THE ADULT, MATURE THING.
319
00:14:51,277 --> 00:14:52,604
- YOU'RE GONNA TALK IT
OUT WITH HIM?
320
00:14:52,635 --> 00:14:55,373
- NO, I'M GONNA LAY LOW
IN MY SECRET HIDEY-HOLE.
321
00:14:55,948 --> 00:14:58,349
- YOU HAVE A HIDEY-HOLE?
- MANY.
322
00:14:58,384 --> 00:15:01,519
BUT THIS PLACE IS SO SECRET,
I KNOW I'LL BE SAFE.
323
00:15:01,554 --> 00:15:04,388
IT'S A LITTLE COLD,
A LITTLE CRAMPED, BUT SAFE.
324
00:15:04,424 --> 00:15:06,690
- HEY, CHARLEY,
JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW,
325
00:15:06,726 --> 00:15:08,993
IF YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HIDING
IN THE ICE-SCULPTURE MOLD,
326
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:11,295
I ALREADY
NAILED IT SHUT. OKAY!
327
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:12,997
[door closes]
328
00:15:17,503 --> 00:15:19,603
- I STILL DON'T KNOW
WHAT EMILY WAS TALKING ABOUT,
329
00:15:19,639 --> 00:15:21,539
SAYING I GET
ON HER NERVES.
330
00:15:21,574 --> 00:15:24,175
AFTER ALL, SHE WAS THE ONE
BUYING NECESSARIES
331
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,443
AT THE SEVEN AND ELEVEN.
332
00:15:27,079 --> 00:15:28,436
- 7-ELEVEN.
333
00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:32,249
- WHAT?
- IT'S 7-ELEVEN.
334
00:15:32,285 --> 00:15:34,218
YOU ALWAYS SAY,
"SEVEN AND ELEVEN."
335
00:15:34,253 --> 00:15:36,883
THERE'S NO "AND."
IT'S JUST 7-ELEVEN.
336
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,751
- YOU HATE ME.
337
00:15:42,562 --> 00:15:43,861
- NO, I DON'T.
338
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:46,430
- YES, YOU DO. CLEARLY,
I GET ON YOUR NERVES TOO.
339
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:48,566
I BET YOU'VE BEEN SITTING
ON THIS "SEVEN AND ELEVEN" THING
340
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:50,734
FOR WEEKS NOW WAITING
TO BLOW UP AT ME ABOUT IT.
341
00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:52,436
WHY DON'T YOU JUST DUMP ME
RIGHT NOW?
342
00:15:52,472 --> 00:15:54,972
- OH, CAROL, COME ON!
LOOK, I LOVE YOU.
343
00:15:56,008 --> 00:15:57,995
- ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.
344
00:15:59,145 --> 00:16:00,945
- GOOD MORNING.
- HI, DADDY.
345
00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:03,505
- HEY, MORNING, HARRY.
HOW DID THE DATE GO LAST NIGHT?
346
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,784
- NOT GREAT.
347
00:16:06,519 --> 00:16:07,818
- HOW COME?
348
00:16:07,854 --> 00:16:12,510
- OH, I GUESS SHE WAS SO PUSHY
AND BOSSY AND STUBBORN.
349
00:16:12,825 --> 00:16:14,812
- YOU WENT OUT
WITH LAVERNE?
350
00:16:17,463 --> 00:16:19,163
- IT FELT LIKE IT.
351
00:16:19,198 --> 00:16:20,798
THE PROBLEM IS
WHAT DO I TELL LAVERNE,
352
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:23,901
THAT I DON'T LIKE HER TYPE?
THIS IS VERY TRICKY.
353
00:16:23,936 --> 00:16:25,870
- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY
CHARLEY'S LINE?
354
00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:29,271
JUST SAY, "I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR ME."
355
00:16:29,976 --> 00:16:31,509
HE SAYS THEY NEVER ARGUE
WITH IT.
356
00:16:31,544 --> 00:16:34,411
- NO, I DON'T THINK SO, PATRICK.
- DADDY, YOU JUST NEED
357
00:16:34,447 --> 00:16:36,647
TO BE HONEST WITH LAVERNE.
TELL HER THE TRUTH.
358
00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,116
- I KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT, DEAR.
IT'S JUST THAT IT'S GONNA BE...
359
00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:40,484
IT'S GONNA BE REAL TOUGH.
360
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,820
- DON'T WORRY, DADDY.
LAVERNE IS AN ADULT.
361
00:16:42,855 --> 00:16:45,222
SHE'S A MATURE, REASONABLE,
362
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:47,104
UNDERSTANDING...
363
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,948
JUST CALL IN SICK, DADDY.
364
00:16:56,481 --> 00:16:58,168
- GOOD MORNING, LAVERNE.
365
00:16:58,204 --> 00:17:00,938
- DOCTOR, I DON'T WANT YOU
TO GET TOO EXCITED,
366
00:17:00,973 --> 00:17:03,997
BUT TRUTH IS
ELLEN LIKED YOU A WHOLE LOT.
367
00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:06,764
- YEAH, H-HOW NICE.
368
00:17:07,271 --> 00:17:10,867
- SO THE QUESTION IS, WHEN DO
WE SCHEDULE THE NEXT DATE?
369
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:13,094
- ABOUT THAT--
370
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,767
- AND THE ANSWER IS
SATURDAY AT THE ZOO.
371
00:17:18,195 --> 00:17:20,729
- LAVERNE,
UM, I DON'T THINK,
372
00:17:20,764 --> 00:17:23,298
UH, IT'S GONNA WORK OUT
WITH ELLEN AND ME.
373
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,225
- WHAT THE HELL
YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT?
374
00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:28,170
- WELL, I-I-I-I-I...
375
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:29,524
WHAT I'M SAYING...
376
00:17:30,074 --> 00:17:31,740
IS THAT--IS THAT I'M--
I'M NOT SURE
377
00:17:31,775 --> 00:17:33,955
THAT SHE IS PERFECTLY
SUITED TO ME.
378
00:17:34,712 --> 00:17:37,045
- ELLEN IS THE MOST WONDERFUL
WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
379
00:17:37,081 --> 00:17:39,062
WHAT IS "NOT SUITED"?
380
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:42,784
- OH, JUST TINY THINGS,
TINY THINGS, UH...
381
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,795
I MEAN,
SHE SEEMS SOMEWHAT...
382
00:17:45,322 --> 00:17:47,007
YOU KNOW, STRONG.
383
00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:49,904
- WELL, I'M STRONG.
THEY'S NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT.
384
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:52,561
- UH-HUH, WELL, YEAH,
I MEAN...
385
00:17:52,596 --> 00:17:54,629
I MEAN, THERE--
THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.
386
00:17:54,665 --> 00:17:55,897
I MEAN, SHE'S...
387
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,566
SHE WAS ALSO A LITTLE,
I DON'T KNOW,
388
00:17:57,601 --> 00:17:58,867
KIND OF CONTROLLING.
389
00:17:58,902 --> 00:18:00,315
- YOU NEED IT.
390
00:18:02,139 --> 00:18:04,961
LORD KNOWS
YOU APPRECIATE THAT IN ME.
391
00:18:05,657 --> 00:18:08,477
- AND SOMEWHAT OPINIONATED.
- A FINE QUALITY.
392
00:18:08,512 --> 00:18:10,321
I SHARE IT WITH HER.
393
00:18:11,685 --> 00:18:14,052
DOCTOR, IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER
I'D SAY YOU THINK
394
00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:15,621
ELLEN IS TOO MUCH LIKE ME.
395
00:18:20,527 --> 00:18:22,746
- WELL, UH, ACTUALLY,
LAVERNE...
396
00:18:23,163 --> 00:18:24,529
THE TRUTH IS...
397
00:18:26,634 --> 00:18:28,284
- I SEE.
398
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:31,112
- UH, LAVERNE...
399
00:18:31,438 --> 00:18:34,273
- HEY,
IT WAS WORTH A TRY.
400
00:18:34,308 --> 00:18:36,508
- COME ON, LAVERNE,
PLEASE, NOW...
401
00:18:36,543 --> 00:18:38,025
- NOTHING LOST...
402
00:18:38,178 --> 00:18:39,675
NOTHING GAINED.
403
00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:45,050
- OKAY, OKAY,
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
404
00:18:45,085 --> 00:18:46,985
ALL RIGHT, I-I-I WASN'T
BEING COMPLETELY HONEST
405
00:18:47,021 --> 00:18:48,153
WITH YOU BACK THERE.
406
00:18:48,188 --> 00:18:49,621
- NO?
- NO, NO.
407
00:18:49,657 --> 00:18:52,510
THE TRUTH IS,
IS THAT ELLEN IS...
408
00:18:56,597 --> 00:18:58,337
ELLEN IS...
409
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,651
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR ME.
410
00:19:09,076 --> 00:19:11,677
- WHAT?
- YEAH, YEAH.
411
00:19:11,712 --> 00:19:13,578
[stammering]
SHE'S TOO MUCH WOMAN
412
00:19:13,614 --> 00:19:15,414
FOR ME TO HANDLE.
413
00:19:15,449 --> 00:19:17,349
- WELL, THAT IS
THE FIRST THING FOR YOU TO SAY
414
00:19:17,384 --> 00:19:19,271
THAT MADE SOME SENSE.
415
00:19:22,089 --> 00:19:23,689
- WELL, FINE.
SO THAT'S IT.
416
00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:25,223
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I MEAN, THANKS, ANYWAY.
417
00:19:25,259 --> 00:19:27,125
- AND HOW SPECIFICALLY
IS ELLEN,
418
00:19:27,161 --> 00:19:30,374
WHO YOU FIND SO MUCH LIKE ME,
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR YOU?
419
00:19:31,098 --> 00:19:32,980
- WELL, UM...
420
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,923
YOU KNOW,
SHE HAS A TREMENDOUS...
421
00:19:37,237 --> 00:19:39,960
SEXUAL MAGNETISM,
WHEREAS I--
422
00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:42,040
- THEY LAW...
423
00:19:42,076 --> 00:19:44,810
DOCTOR,
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
424
00:19:44,845 --> 00:19:46,945
YOU'D BE LIKE
A LITTLE ITTY-BITTY PIECE
425
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,880
OF HAMBURGER
IN THE SHARK POND.
426
00:19:57,191 --> 00:19:59,191
- [sighs]
427
00:19:59,226 --> 00:20:00,759
- CHARLEY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
428
00:20:01,353 --> 00:20:02,928
- I DECIDED TO FIGHT.
429
00:20:02,963 --> 00:20:05,597
- ARE YOU CRAZY?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
430
00:20:05,632 --> 00:20:07,299
- WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT
431
00:20:07,334 --> 00:20:09,234
THINKING ABOUT HOW ALAN
CAME ON TO YOU.
432
00:20:09,269 --> 00:20:11,403
REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID,
"I'M AS EXCITING
433
00:20:11,438 --> 00:20:12,771
AS A RIDE AT DISNEYLAND"?
434
00:20:12,806 --> 00:20:14,573
- YEAH.
- MINE.
435
00:20:16,176 --> 00:20:18,977
IT MADE ME REALIZE
I'M NO DIFFERENT THAN ALAN.
436
00:20:19,012 --> 00:20:20,379
SURE, I'M A LITTLE
MORE DEBONAIR,
437
00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:22,948
A LITTLE
MORE SOPHISTICATED AND...
438
00:20:22,983 --> 00:20:24,899
PROBABLY MORE
OF A BOOBY MAN...
439
00:20:26,071 --> 00:20:28,787
BUT DEEP DOWN,
I REALLY DON'T TREAT WOMEN
440
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:30,395
MUCH BETTER THAN HE DOES.
441
00:20:30,532 --> 00:20:31,890
- OH, CHARLEY,
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
442
00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,358
COME ON. HE WAS
ABOUT TO MANHANDLE ME.
443
00:20:33,394 --> 00:20:34,526
YOU'D NEVER DO THAT.
444
00:20:34,561 --> 00:20:37,040
- YEAH, BUT MAYBE THE WORDS
ARE JUST AS BAD.
445
00:20:37,531 --> 00:20:39,898
- WOW. WHAT, DID THE
DALAI LAMA SIT NEXT TO YOU
446
00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:42,234
AT THE WAFFLE BREAKFAST
THIS MORNING?
447
00:20:42,269 --> 00:20:44,403
- YOU KNOW,
STANDING UP TO ALAN
448
00:20:44,438 --> 00:20:47,332
WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D EVER DONE
ANYTHING BRAVE, AND...
449
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:49,463
IT FELT PRETTY GOOD.
450
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:51,176
SO HERE I AM.
451
00:20:51,211 --> 00:20:53,578
- WELL, CHARLEY,
I'M IMPRESSED WITH YOU.
452
00:20:53,614 --> 00:20:55,213
BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET
YOU FIGHT.
453
00:20:55,249 --> 00:20:56,566
- I HAVE TO.
454
00:20:57,184 --> 00:20:59,992
NOW, GO ALONG.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, REALLY.
455
00:21:00,254 --> 00:21:01,586
I'M IN A VERY
456
00:21:01,622 --> 00:21:04,770
DAVID CARRADINE/PAT MORITA
KIND OF PLACE.
457
00:21:05,926 --> 00:21:08,059
- DAMN IT, WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO STUBBORN?
458
00:21:08,095 --> 00:21:10,812
- HEY, I'M NOT CHANGING MY MIND.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE.
459
00:21:15,169 --> 00:21:16,537
- GOOD LUCK.
460
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:20,867
- GOOD-BYE.
461
00:21:26,213 --> 00:21:28,370
WHAT AM I, CRAZY?
462
00:21:31,118 --> 00:21:34,052
[siren blaring]
463
00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:37,022
- ATTENTION. ABANDON SHIP.
ABANDON SHIP.
464
00:21:37,057 --> 00:21:39,191
EMERGENCY CODE RED
HAS BEEN CALLED.
465
00:21:39,226 --> 00:21:40,525
ABANDON SHIP.
466
00:21:41,695 --> 00:21:44,663
- STAY CALM, FOLKS.
MOVE SLOWLY.
467
00:21:44,698 --> 00:21:47,599
GO FIND THE WOODEN SHIPS
WITH THE...
468
00:21:47,634 --> 00:21:50,235
ROW-Y STICKS.
469
00:22:01,719 --> 00:22:03,301
HI.
470
00:22:05,056 --> 00:22:08,057
[coughing]
471
00:22:12,697 --> 00:22:13,929
HEY, BEAUTIFUL.
472
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,364
WHERE YOU FROM?
473
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,375
- BOSTON, MISSISSIPPI.
474
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:19,243
- IS THERE ANOTHER ONE?
475
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:22,972
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO TAKE
A TOUR OF THE SHIP
476
00:22:23,007 --> 00:22:25,377
WITH A GUY WEARING THESE...
477
00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:27,413
STRIPY THINGS.
478
00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:30,479
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- WHY NOT?
479
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:31,981
- I DON'T KNOW.
480
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:35,130
YOU'RE JUST
TOO MUCH A MAN FOR ME.
481
00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:39,730
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