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1
00:00:03,084 --> 00:00:06,196
There. I believe Danny's old room is
2
00:00:06,296 --> 00:00:08,153
officially ready for its new tenant.
3
00:00:08,188 --> 00:00:10,043
And to think, it only took seven coats
4
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,389
of paint to get it to stop smellin'
5
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:13,812
like the inside of an old gym bag.
6
00:00:14,762 --> 00:00:17,061
When Ben finally moved out of
the house, I just opened the door
7
00:00:17,097 --> 00:00:18,458
and started parking my car there again.
8
00:00:19,589 --> 00:00:20,578
Ben: Can we come in?
9
00:00:20,678 --> 00:00:22,077
Ooh! Not yet!
10
00:00:24,015 --> 00:00:25,214
Okay, um...
11
00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:27,784
Oh. Uh-oh... yeah.
12
00:00:29,554 --> 00:00:31,387
And now, we're ready.
13
00:00:31,423 --> 00:00:33,855
All: Surprise!
14
00:00:34,859 --> 00:00:37,793
Fifty square feet of living
space, a lovely fake kitchen,
15
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,561
and a window overlooking an air shaft.
16
00:00:39,596 --> 00:00:42,932
But the best part, rent is only
a daily "I love you, Daddy."
17
00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:44,466
I love you, Daddy.
18
00:00:46,637 --> 00:00:47,703
She's growin' up.
19
00:00:47,738 --> 00:00:50,547
Hmm? Her own bedroom, a big-girl bed.
20
00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:52,214
This is quite a milestone.
21
00:00:54,185 --> 00:00:57,752
Oh, Benji. It's gonna be okay.
22
00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:59,388
She'll always need her dad.
23
00:00:59,423 --> 00:01:01,453
Thanks. But I just realized I finally
24
00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:04,193
get to have sex in my own room again.
25
00:01:04,228 --> 00:01:06,927
Oh, my God. It's been so long.
26
00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:08,229
(theme music playing)
27
00:01:08,264 --> 00:01:11,065
It's amazing how the unexpected
28
00:01:11,101 --> 00:01:13,768
Can take your life
and change direction
29
00:01:13,768 --> 00:01:17,349
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta - - www.addic7ed.com -
30
00:01:17,575 --> 00:01:18,640
(bell dings)
31
00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:20,676
Okay, Emma, you are about to be welcomed
32
00:01:20,711 --> 00:01:24,278
to the amazing world of
professional wrestling!
33
00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,249
Though some might mock
you for your choice...
34
00:01:28,284 --> 00:01:29,483
Just know that you
35
00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:32,152
are on the side of righteousness!
36
00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:33,688
Yeah.
37
00:01:33,723 --> 00:01:35,423
Hey, remember when we were nine?
38
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:38,725
And you crushed me with your thighs
so hard it dislocated my shoulder?
39
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,028
That's when I first started
thinking you might love me back.
40
00:01:42,932 --> 00:01:44,464
And that's when I
first started thinking,
41
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,433
"Diet, Riley. Diet."
42
00:01:47,469 --> 00:01:49,302
You know, we would've
made a lot fewer visits
43
00:01:49,338 --> 00:01:52,439
to the hospital if someone
just told us it was fake.
44
00:01:52,474 --> 00:01:54,874
Seriously? Why don't you just tell her
45
00:01:54,909 --> 00:01:57,043
about Santa Claus or the
pope while you're at it.
46
00:01:58,913 --> 00:02:01,247
The pope is real.
47
00:02:01,282 --> 00:02:02,203
That's more like it.
48
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:03,816
(bell dings)
49
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:06,719
Wait. Yeah, I think I know that guy.
50
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:08,955
Ryan Davidson. He was my roommate
51
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,423
during training camp.
52
00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:12,191
The last spot on the team
came down to the two of us,
53
00:02:12,226 --> 00:02:13,292
and I got it.
54
00:02:13,327 --> 00:02:15,394
I always wondered what happened to him.
55
00:02:15,429 --> 00:02:17,028
Maybe you should give him a call.
56
00:02:17,064 --> 00:02:18,730
He doesn't wanna talk to me.
57
00:02:18,765 --> 00:02:21,433
I'm still a Ranger and he's a wrestler.
58
00:02:21,469 --> 00:02:23,535
He's livin' the dream.
59
00:02:25,606 --> 00:02:27,372
I really hope the baby gets your eyes.
60
00:02:32,346 --> 00:02:33,545
Ooh! Tucker, perfect!
61
00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:34,921
I need some expert advice.
62
00:02:34,956 --> 00:02:36,689
Dude, I told you. I'm not a doctor.
63
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:40,593
I mean, I'll look at
it if you want me to.
64
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:43,529
What? No, no, I'm trying
to craft the perfect text
65
00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:46,197
to seal the deal with this girl
I right-swiped this morning.
66
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,398
Too bad there's no emoji that says,
67
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,334
"Hey, wanna just come
over and have sex?"
68
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:53,011
Ah, the question all
men wish they could ask.
69
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:56,608
I mean, other than, "Why can't you
be ready when you say you will?"
70
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,944
Is it so wrong that all I wanna do
71
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:01,813
is christen my room and not be
bogged down with all that caring
72
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,815
or name learning?
73
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,986
Karma got it right by
givin' you a daughter.
74
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,691
I'm walkin' a tightrope here, man.
75
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,580
Too sweet and she thinks
we're starting a relationship.
76
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,613
Too direct and it's
over before it starts.
77
00:03:16,648 --> 00:03:17,980
There's just no way to say it.
78
00:03:18,015 --> 00:03:19,247
(phone buzzing)
79
00:03:20,351 --> 00:03:21,917
"How about I come over
around 11 tonight?"
80
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:23,124
There's one way to say it.
81
00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:26,587
It's her. That is what
she's saying, right?
82
00:03:26,613 --> 00:03:27,221
Yeah.
83
00:03:27,256 --> 00:03:28,956
Oh, my God, it's a miracle.
84
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:31,959
- Hey, guys, what's goin' on?
- Oh, Ben just found a bang buddy.
85
00:03:33,162 --> 00:03:36,963
- (laughs)
- I really enjoy our little talks.
86
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,832
So, how do you decide
who's gonna win or lose?
87
00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:42,224
Oh! And have you ever gotten in
a real fight during a fake fight?
88
00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:43,690
Oh, and... and... why
is it called a ring
89
00:03:43,726 --> 00:03:46,026
when it's actually shaped like a square?
90
00:03:46,061 --> 00:03:47,227
Sorry, I got so many questions.
91
00:03:47,262 --> 00:03:49,696
I'm just a huge fan!
92
00:03:49,732 --> 00:03:51,130
Don't be too impressed.
93
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,966
I'm in what you might
call a second-tier league.
94
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:56,368
Most people who come to see us
just wanna get out of the cold.
95
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,071
Second tier is still impressive.
96
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,451
I'd kill to get in any ring.
97
00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:03,886
Well... fake kill. I know how it works.
98
00:04:05,256 --> 00:04:06,889
I could probably make that happen.
99
00:04:06,924 --> 00:04:07,955
Seriously?
100
00:04:07,991 --> 00:04:09,690
Maybe you could be a
special guest fighter.
101
00:04:09,726 --> 00:04:11,526
I mean, wrestling a New York Ranger,
102
00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:13,361
that kind of publicity
would really help us out.
103
00:04:13,397 --> 00:04:15,230
Dude, that'd be amazing.
104
00:04:15,265 --> 00:04:17,165
Can I come up with
my own signature move?
105
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,299
Can I hit you with a chair?
106
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:21,302
Oh, my God, it's all happening so fast.
107
00:04:22,473 --> 00:04:24,906
- Oh. Hey,
Tuck-Tuck. - What up?
108
00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:27,608
Rockin' some plaid today, huh? Okay.
109
00:04:27,644 --> 00:04:29,410
Oh God! Oh, my God!
110
00:04:29,446 --> 00:04:31,051
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
111
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,137
Oh God, what is he doing here?
112
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,439
Who?
113
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,443
What, the guy with
Danny? Do you know him?
114
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:41,088
Yes! I know him. I ruined him!
115
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,480
- What, did you have sex with him?
- Yeah.
116
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:47,317
- Oh, I was kidding.
- Oh God.
117
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,286
During Danny's first training camp,
118
00:04:49,321 --> 00:04:52,055
it came down to the two
of them for the final spot.
119
00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:54,524
So, the night before the last practice,
120
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,729
I took Ryan out and
filled him full of booze,
121
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,194
and, you know, one thing led to another,
122
00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:00,631
and let's just say, Danny made the team.
123
00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:03,099
Does Danny know?
124
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,167
Oh God, no!
125
00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:05,802
He would be crushed if he
learned he made the team
126
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,811
because I scored and he didn't!
127
00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,940
I was never here.
128
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,582
Wait. Wait.
129
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,952
So, you think this girl
is coming over tonight
130
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,654
for no reason other than
to have sex with you.
131
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:28,492
Did I stutter? If I did, it's
only because I'm s-s-s-so excited.
132
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,395
Okay, well, that kind of
girl is like a unicorn.
133
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:34,831
She doesn't exist. Tonight
it's sex, tomorrow it's...
134
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:38,201
"Hey, babe, sell the Porsche.
We need to get a minivan."
135
00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:42,298
I am telling you, she's
just looking for an in.
136
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,892
So am I, Riley. So am I.
137
00:05:46,462 --> 00:05:49,662
Ben, women don't have sex unless
they have feelings for you,
138
00:05:49,762 --> 00:05:52,263
so if you're not in it for
the feelings, well, then...
139
00:05:52,298 --> 00:05:56,066
you won't be feeling anything of hers.
140
00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:57,683
Really? So just
bottom-line me, what is the
141
00:05:57,783 --> 00:05:59,745
absolute least I have to do to get some?
142
00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:03,723
Well, Romeo,
143
00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:07,093
uh, if you really wanna
christen the room...
144
00:06:07,128 --> 00:06:09,528
which by the way, ew...
145
00:06:09,563 --> 00:06:12,898
uh, you're gonna need
some candles, some wine,
146
00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:15,300
perhaps treat her like a human being.
147
00:06:15,336 --> 00:06:17,436
How about two out of three?
148
00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:21,206
- (thudding)
- What the hell was that?
149
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:23,574
(grunting)
150
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,844
Both: Hey, guys!
151
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:28,647
Yeah, they wanted to
practice at our place,
152
00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:31,617
but I felt more comfortable
with them breaking your stuff.
153
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:34,486
(grunting)
154
00:06:34,522 --> 00:06:37,241
By the time the slow-witted tortoise
155
00:06:37,341 --> 00:06:40,342
woke up after an evening in the forest,
156
00:06:40,378 --> 00:06:42,823
the momma bear had
ruined his hockey career.
157
00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:45,114
Now she was worried that the tortoise
158
00:06:45,149 --> 00:06:49,085
had figured it out, and
was laying a bear trap.
159
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,753
You get that I'm the momma bear, right?
160
00:06:50,789 --> 00:06:51,955
Yes.
161
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:55,090
Do you think that Ryan figured
out that I'm Danny's mom,
162
00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:56,951
- and put it all together?
- Yes.
163
00:06:57,051 --> 00:06:59,551
- Wow, you're wise.
- (Thudding)
164
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,453
What is going on out there?
165
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,489
- (grunting)
- This is usually the point in the video
166
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,324
when I realize I've
downloaded the wrong one.
167
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,000
Oh. Hey, Mrs. Wheeler. You
lose your "vitamins" again?
168
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:19,270
Tucker. All right,
Tucker? Can I speak to you
169
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,257
in Emma's room for a moment, huh?
170
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,809
- Tea party!
- Oh, of course, sweetie, yes!
171
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:29,913
I promised a tea party. Oh, how lovely.
172
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,182
Oh, my goodness. Oh...
173
00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:34,902
(British accent) So, why didn't you
174
00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:37,621
tell me that Ryan was here, gov'nah?
175
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,523
(British accent) Because I
didn't care, Your Highness.
176
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:41,905
Oh. Oh, well. Well, if
you don't start caring,
177
00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:45,005
- I will shove a scone so far up your...
- Good point, love! Okay!
178
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,606
(both laughing)
179
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,612
I, uh, I heard Danny
is going to wrestle him
180
00:07:48,712 --> 00:07:49,915
tomorrow night for publicity.
181
00:07:50,015 --> 00:07:53,517
(in normal voice) What? Don't
you see what's happening?
182
00:07:53,552 --> 00:07:56,119
Danny is living the
life Ryan should've had.
183
00:07:56,154 --> 00:08:00,356
But I destroyed him, so
he's here to destroy Danny!
184
00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:01,991
Oh. (laughs)
185
00:08:02,026 --> 00:08:03,926
Oh, I mean... (British
accent) I do believe he will
186
00:08:03,962 --> 00:08:06,796
get him in the ring and
just shred him to pieces.
187
00:08:06,831 --> 00:08:09,866
Ahh, I need your help. We need
to stop Danny from wrestling
188
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:11,997
without telling him the truth. Mm-hm.
189
00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:14,414
Oh. Please, Emma?
190
00:08:15,732 --> 00:08:16,765
Oh.
191
00:08:18,769 --> 00:08:21,336
It's up to you, Tucker, where this goes.
192
00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:25,874
(knocking on door)
193
00:08:27,244 --> 00:08:28,461
Anita! Yes!
194
00:08:28,561 --> 00:08:32,094
You look like your
profile pick. Finally!
195
00:08:32,129 --> 00:08:34,730
- Do I look like mine?
- Meh.
196
00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:41,070
Can I offer you a glass of
wine and some soft candlelight
197
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,719
while we get to know each other better?
198
00:08:42,741 --> 00:08:45,107
Well, I don't drink, and I'm
actually meeting some friends
199
00:08:45,143 --> 00:08:47,810
in a half hour, so...
200
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:50,895
(stammering) So, you
wanna go straight to...?
201
00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:52,827
Your room. Is that okay?
202
00:08:52,863 --> 00:08:57,099
Is that okay? That wins the award
for most okay statement ever.
203
00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:58,124
Yeah, it's just over
there to the left.
204
00:08:58,224 --> 00:09:00,060
Will you excuse me
for just one second?
205
00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:07,174
Hey. What do you want?
206
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:09,010
Just delivering some breaking news.
207
00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:11,479
Unicorns are real, and
I'm about to go tame one.
208
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,427
I'm tellin' you, it was perfect.
209
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,926
She just got up and left.
210
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,762
No obligatory cuddle,
no awkward conversation
211
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,465
about when we're gonna
see each other again.
212
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,600
Wait. What was the name
of this app you met her on?
213
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:30,881
Right, but you're gonna have to see her
214
00:09:30,981 --> 00:09:32,937
again to give her back her earring.
215
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,040
Wait. What? How do you
know Anita left her earring?
216
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,450
Because a bra is too obvious, and you
217
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:39,210
can't walk home without your shoes.
218
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,847
Sure, she's fine with the
11 p.m. booty call now,
219
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:44,682
but Anita is playing the long game,
220
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,018
and you're falling for
every trick in the book.
221
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,053
No. Never happening. Anita's
not that kind of girl.
222
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,182
Oh, my God! My watch stopped, all
the clocks in the house are wrong,
223
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:54,388
and I don't know where my phone is.
224
00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:58,473
(muffled ringing)
225
00:10:04,365 --> 00:10:07,498
Oh my G... How did that get there?
226
00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:09,834
I'm already an hour late
for wrestling practice. Oh!
227
00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:11,869
Guys, don't forget, my
big match is tonight.
228
00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:15,639
Spoiler alert: I lose, but
you won't see it coming.
229
00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:18,401
Oh! Hey. Hey, honey, I
just came by to stop you.
230
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:19,967
I mean, get you... um, talk to you.
231
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,335
No time, Ma. I've got
to get to the ring.
232
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,202
Oh! Well, then, it's a good
thing I caught you, then,
233
00:10:23,238 --> 00:10:25,071
because I just discovered
that you can't wrestle,
234
00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:26,840
because it's against your
contract with the Rangers.
235
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,191
Oh. Yeah, I knew about that.
236
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:29,375
That's why I already
cleared it with the team.
237
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,411
Oh God, you picked now
to read your contract?
238
00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:32,666
- Um...
- Mom, I gotta go.
239
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,108
Oh, let me just hug you
before you go, honey.
240
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:34,633
Mom... Mom...
241
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,602
- Let me hug you. Let me hug you!
- Mom. Mom. Mom.
242
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,670
- I love you! I love you!
- Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom, let me go!
243
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:39,555
I love you!
244
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,022
Listen, Danny, all right,
have fun, and don't look back.
245
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,792
Seriously, on the way
there, don't look back!
246
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:47,027
Okay. (screaming) Tucker!
247
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,685
Is it just me, or is my
mom acting kind of weird?
248
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,483
It's never just you.
249
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:56,282
- (phone buzzing)
- Oh! Oh, the phone!
250
00:10:56,318 --> 00:10:58,652
Ten bucks says that's
her, she had a great time,
251
00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,019
and she can't wait to see you again.
252
00:11:00,055 --> 00:11:01,688
Well, you're on.
253
00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:04,958
And it is from Anita. And
she says, "Had a nice time.
254
00:11:04,993 --> 00:11:07,360
Can't... wait to see you again."
255
00:11:07,395 --> 00:11:11,965
Ah! Oh! I knew it! God, I hate
that we are so predictable.
256
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,498
- (phone buzzing)
- Ooh, a follow-up.
257
00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:16,298
"Maybe I can swing by for
20 minutes at lunch time."
258
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:18,801
Why would she wanna do that?
259
00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:21,319
Two words: She's horny.
260
00:11:26,911 --> 00:11:29,978
Tucker: Mrs. Wheeler,
wrestling is Danny's dream.
261
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:33,190
I mean, his odd, kind of
creepy, kind of man-grabby dream,
262
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:34,956
but you're never gonna
get him to quit now.
263
00:11:34,992 --> 00:11:38,627
I know. Which is why I am
gonna have to stop Ryan myself.
264
00:11:38,662 --> 00:11:40,729
Do I even need to ask how?
265
00:11:40,765 --> 00:11:42,829
Seducing Ryan is what
got me into this mess,
266
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,229
and seducing Ryan is
gonna get me out of it.
267
00:11:45,264 --> 00:11:46,530
Nope, I had it.
268
00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:49,366
Look, I'm just gonna get him drunk
and lock him in his motel room.
269
00:11:49,401 --> 00:11:52,124
Isn't that exactly what got you
into this mess in the first place?
270
00:11:52,224 --> 00:11:54,357
What are you, the memory police?
271
00:11:54,392 --> 00:11:56,993
Listen. He's only here for one night.
272
00:11:57,029 --> 00:11:58,795
It won't be a problem, okay?
273
00:11:58,831 --> 00:11:59,896
Take it.
274
00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:05,567
Ryan? Oh... (grunts)
275
00:12:05,603 --> 00:12:07,469
Ryan Davidson?
276
00:12:07,504 --> 00:12:08,904
Is that you?
277
00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:13,675
Oh my goodness. How, after all
these years, we both look so great.
278
00:12:13,711 --> 00:12:15,644
I'm sorry, have we met?
279
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,479
It's a little hard for me
to keep track of all my fans.
280
00:12:17,514 --> 00:12:21,235
Oh. But I was a very special fan.
281
00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:23,401
Yeah, that's what they all think.
282
00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:24,837
Enjoy the show tonight.
283
00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,406
I guess slamming his
head against the floor
284
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:30,242
made him forget about you.
285
00:12:30,277 --> 00:12:32,978
Hey, real quick, can you slam
my head against the floor?
286
00:12:33,014 --> 00:12:34,946
Oh, he remembers me, all right.
287
00:12:34,981 --> 00:12:37,148
Nobody forgets Bonnie Wheeler.
288
00:12:37,183 --> 00:12:39,216
No matter how hard they try.
289
00:12:39,252 --> 00:12:40,785
Hey, Steve.
290
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,054
Can you prep a B-12 shot for me?
291
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:44,620
I need a little somethin'
extra for the show tonight.
292
00:12:45,525 --> 00:12:49,160
Oh! Tucker. I know how
we can stop the match.
293
00:12:49,195 --> 00:12:51,462
Well, at least how
you can stop the match.
294
00:12:51,497 --> 00:12:53,590
Nope, not doin' it. Don't
even ask. I'm going home.
295
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,693
- Okay, I'll buy you dinner.
- Lobster?
296
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:55,362
- Pizza.
- Steak?
297
00:12:55,462 --> 00:12:56,528
- Pizza.
- Done.
298
00:13:02,369 --> 00:13:05,470
Aah, I was hopin' for the pizza man.
299
00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,739
I wanted to tell you,
Anita just stopped by,
300
00:13:07,774 --> 00:13:10,141
and she didn't even
stay the full 20 minutes.
301
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:13,344
Not really somethin' to brag about.
302
00:13:14,614 --> 00:13:17,648
Ben, I'm sorry, but this
girl is playing you perfectly.
303
00:13:17,684 --> 00:13:19,450
Mmm, pretty sure someone
who has feelings for me
304
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:21,519
wouldn't accidentally call me "Bill."
305
00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:25,755
And yet, you seem
oddly obsessed with her.
306
00:13:25,855 --> 00:13:28,188
I'm not obsessed. If
I see her again, great,
307
00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,523
if I don't, whatever.
308
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,206
Oh, good! Because if I was her,
309
00:13:31,306 --> 00:13:35,041
and I was, uh, I predict
she's about to go radio silent,
310
00:13:35,077 --> 00:13:38,244
totally unavailable, now
you're the one chasing her,
311
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,546
and that's when she
reels you in like a fish.
312
00:13:40,582 --> 00:13:44,883
(laughs) No. She'd jump at
the chance to see me again.
313
00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:47,719
"Hey, Anita. Round three tonight?"
314
00:13:47,754 --> 00:13:50,555
- (phone buzzing)
- Oh! Would you look at that.
315
00:13:50,591 --> 00:13:52,958
It's as if she was
anxiously awaiting my call.
316
00:13:53,928 --> 00:13:56,428
"Sorry, busy."
317
00:13:56,463 --> 00:13:58,830
"Are you sure?
318
00:13:58,865 --> 00:13:59,964
Late is cool."
319
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,062
Mm, not desperate at all.
320
00:14:01,162 --> 00:14:03,996
- (phone buzzing)
- "Still busy."
321
00:14:04,031 --> 00:14:07,432
"How about tomorrow
night?" Happy face emoji.
322
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,373
Maybe she didn't get it. I'll
send it again, just to be safe.
323
00:14:16,409 --> 00:14:19,310
Oh, you know what? You
have something right here.
324
00:14:19,345 --> 00:14:21,045
Oh, it's a hook.
325
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:24,381
Oh, man, that's really in there.
326
00:14:30,373 --> 00:14:32,754
It couldn't be simpler. Just tell Ryan
327
00:14:32,854 --> 00:14:34,508
you're ready to give him his B-12 shot.
328
00:14:34,543 --> 00:14:38,078
But shoot him up with this
muscle relaxer instead, okay?
329
00:14:38,114 --> 00:14:41,581
He can't paralyze Danny
if we paralyze him first.
330
00:14:41,617 --> 00:14:43,583
Should I be concerned you were carrying
331
00:14:43,619 --> 00:14:46,487
a vial of muscle relaxer in your purse?
332
00:14:49,057 --> 00:14:52,791
Should I be concerned you
know how to do that so well?
333
00:14:52,827 --> 00:14:55,761
- There he is. Okay.
- (Clears throat)
334
00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:57,726
Ry-Ry! What's up, man? I got that, uh,
335
00:14:57,826 --> 00:14:59,625
that, uh, B-12 shot you requested?
336
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,667
Awesome! What happened to Steve?
337
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:04,702
(giggling)
338
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,812
I... I tied him up
in the trainer's room.
339
00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:08,578
I'm pretending to be a doctor!
340
00:15:08,613 --> 00:15:11,013
(laughing) You're funnier than Steve.
341
00:15:11,049 --> 00:15:12,048
(grunts)
342
00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:19,856
Sorry, Doc. I'll come back later.
343
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,960
What the hell is the matter with you?
344
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:26,614
I can't feel the left side of my body.
345
00:15:26,714 --> 00:15:28,181
Ow! That's my right side!
346
00:15:28,216 --> 00:15:30,011
I know! Now quit messing around.
347
00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:31,710
We've gotta go help Danny.
348
00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:34,213
Oh God!
349
00:15:35,349 --> 00:15:38,482
Why does everything always
have to be about you?
350
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,320
(cheering)
351
00:15:44,157 --> 00:15:47,191
Oh, dude, I'm telling you,
she's not texting you back.
352
00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,727
Yeah, I got that, 23
unreturned texts ago.
353
00:15:49,827 --> 00:15:51,493
You people ruin everything.
354
00:15:51,528 --> 00:15:53,127
I kept up my end of the bargain,
355
00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:56,697
a relationship with no
commitment, no feelings, no words.
356
00:15:56,732 --> 00:15:58,566
And you know what? The joke's on her.
357
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:00,734
She slept with me for nothing.
358
00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:01,869
I know that joke.
359
00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:04,872
Oh, my God, that's her.
360
00:16:04,907 --> 00:16:06,874
Her who? (gasps) The unicorn?
361
00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:08,943
Ben: Yeah, like you
didn't see this coming?
362
00:16:08,978 --> 00:16:10,977
Um... no, not really.
363
00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:13,077
I mean, how did she know
you were gonna be here?
364
00:16:13,112 --> 00:16:16,046
Maybe she went through my phone,
or whatever tricks you all use.
365
00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:18,316
Or perhaps it's a coincidence.
366
00:16:18,351 --> 00:16:20,217
And cue the fake date.
367
00:16:20,253 --> 00:16:21,519
Could she be more obvious?
368
00:16:21,554 --> 00:16:24,418
Or... perhaps she's on an actual date.
369
00:16:24,518 --> 00:16:25,884
Don't try and save her now.
370
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,350
If she thinks she can make me care,
371
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,319
then she can think again.
372
00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:32,055
Really? 'Cause you seem like you care.
373
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:34,157
I don't care.
374
00:16:34,192 --> 00:16:36,693
(cheering, whistling)
375
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,754
I don't think this is right.
376
00:16:46,371 --> 00:16:49,839
Listen. Sweetie, honey, I am
begging you, don't do this.
377
00:16:49,874 --> 00:16:51,007
You could get hurt.
378
00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:52,142
You could end your career.
379
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,102
Don't worry, Mom. It's all fake.
380
00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:55,601
(bell dings)
381
00:16:56,704 --> 00:16:58,571
(grunting)
382
00:17:00,007 --> 00:17:01,173
(grunts)
383
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:04,242
Whoa. That hurt more
than I thought it would.
384
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:07,645
(grunts)
385
00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:10,449
That's because Ryan is
trying to destroy your career.
386
00:17:10,484 --> 00:17:13,485
He blames you for not making the team.
387
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,828
Ow! Uh!
388
00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:15,474
Why?
389
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,660
Because your mother, who
loves you very much...
390
00:17:17,695 --> 00:17:19,095
Aah!
391
00:17:19,131 --> 00:17:20,857
(grunting)
392
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,224
...seduced Ryan the last
night of training camp...
393
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,138
- (growling)
- (Groaning)
394
00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:26,905
...to make sure that you made the team.
395
00:17:26,941 --> 00:17:29,007
I'm living a lie?
396
00:17:29,042 --> 00:17:31,910
(grunts, groans)
397
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:33,911
(growling)
398
00:17:35,615 --> 00:17:39,984
Roundhouse! Roundhouse! Oh,
I meant Danny, not you, Ryan.
399
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:42,053
(thudding)
400
00:17:42,089 --> 00:17:44,089
Look at her. Thinkin' she's so smart.
401
00:17:44,124 --> 00:17:46,057
Like I'm gonna go over there
and make a scene or somethin'.
402
00:17:46,093 --> 00:17:47,658
I really don't think she
even knows you're here.
403
00:17:47,694 --> 00:17:49,078
Oh, she knows.
404
00:17:49,178 --> 00:17:52,161
She's been makin' me dance, but it's
time this puppet cut the strings.
405
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:56,121
Aah! Dude! That really hurts!
406
00:17:56,221 --> 00:17:58,155
Just tryin' to make it look real.
407
00:17:58,190 --> 00:17:59,924
Hey, you gotta believe me, I had no idea
408
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,593
she sabotaged your chances
of becoming a Ranger.
409
00:18:04,396 --> 00:18:07,296
- What are you talkin' about?
- That woman who seduced you
410
00:18:07,332 --> 00:18:10,032
the last night at camp,
she did it on purpose.
411
00:18:10,068 --> 00:18:11,896
It's the reason you got cut.
412
00:18:11,996 --> 00:18:13,996
But I'd already been cut
from the team that afternoon.
413
00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:15,899
That's why I didn't come
to the last day of practice.
414
00:18:15,934 --> 00:18:18,435
Really? I made the team fair and square?
415
00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:22,038
- You're not tryin' to hurt me?
- What? No. Why would I do that?
416
00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:23,739
And how'd you know I slept
with someone that night?
417
00:18:23,774 --> 00:18:24,973
And, God, she was easy.
418
00:18:25,008 --> 00:18:27,676
- What?
- Talk about one desperate old broad.
419
00:18:27,711 --> 00:18:30,913
Hey, that desperate old broad is my mom!
420
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:35,680
Hey, can you hold my head up
so I can see what's going on?
421
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:42,586
God, try to show some enthusiasm!
422
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:48,425
Anita! Surprise. I see you're
too busy to answer a text,
423
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,851
but not too busy to follow me
to my brother's wrestling match.
424
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,191
Ben... hi.
425
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:54,649
This is Jim.
426
00:18:54,749 --> 00:18:56,691
Yeah, yeah, let me guess,
your probably gay, co-worker,
427
00:18:56,726 --> 00:18:58,493
you brought around
just to make me jealous?
428
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,228
Why are you following me?
429
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:02,464
I'm not following you.
You're following me!
430
00:19:02,499 --> 00:19:04,599
I can't believe that you're
so desperate to get a boyfriend
431
00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:07,068
that you tricked me into believing
that we had something special:
432
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,237
sex without feelings.
433
00:19:09,272 --> 00:19:11,439
That's exactly what
I thought we had, too.
434
00:19:11,475 --> 00:19:12,398
So, you're not...
435
00:19:12,424 --> 00:19:15,300
No, I'm not whatever it
is you think I'm doing.
436
00:19:16,545 --> 00:19:20,013
Oh! Well, then, my bad.
437
00:19:20,048 --> 00:19:23,317
So I'll just leave you alone,
and you can text me whenever.
438
00:19:23,352 --> 00:19:26,086
Yeah, I don't think so,
Mr. Twenty-three Texts.
439
00:19:26,122 --> 00:19:27,671
Let's get out of here.
440
00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:31,958
See? I told you that
unicorns don't exist.
441
00:19:34,229 --> 00:19:37,063
I'd like to start off
by saying I was wrong.
442
00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:38,619
And for the record,
a woman admitting
443
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,934
she was wrong is a
unicorn in itself.
444
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:42,535
(grunting)
445
00:19:45,807 --> 00:19:48,106
Yes! Get him, Danny!
446
00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:53,045
- (bell dings)
- Yeah! Ha-ha!
447
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,280
Yeah! Yeah!
448
00:19:55,316 --> 00:19:57,950
Oh, my God! Danny, you did it!
449
00:19:57,985 --> 00:20:00,953
Oh God! Oh! I'm so proud of you!
450
00:20:00,988 --> 00:20:03,921
And listen, honey, I am
sorry for sleeping with Ryan.
451
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:06,023
Oh. It's okay, Mom.
452
00:20:06,059 --> 00:20:10,061
Oddly enough, I appreciate
why you do what you do.
453
00:20:10,096 --> 00:20:11,462
Is Tucker okay?
454
00:20:16,077 --> 00:20:18,464
Have you seen Ben? I
wanted to apologize again.
455
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,116
Yeah, I think he went to bed,
456
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,418
but, um, you can check his room.
457
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:28,256
I'm fine, by the way.
458
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,060
Knock, knock.
459
00:20:41,204 --> 00:20:42,970
Aw, don't worry, Emma.
460
00:20:43,006 --> 00:20:44,972
Someday you'll get your own room.
461
00:20:45,022 --> 00:20:49,572
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