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1
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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,753
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,673
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
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♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,669
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
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Thank you.
7
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Now, make yourself comfortable.
8
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- We won't be a moment.
- Thanks, Penny.
9
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,036
We can get away quickly now, can't we?
10
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,634
You can't just bolt your lunch and go.
11
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,314
No, I suppose not.
12
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,550
Why is Penny's gravy always grey?
13
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,358
I was wondering that.
14
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,749
- Tastes all right.
- Oddly enough, it does.
15
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,913
It's just not aesthetically pleasing,
grey gravy.
16
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,558
Here we are, then.
17
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,315
- Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men.
- Why did you say that, Stephen?
18
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,871
I don't know. I just thought of it.
19
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,758
I do wish you wouldn't
think of things like that.
20
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:16,311
Oh, I do, too. It's irritating when you
don't know where a thought comes from.
21
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,958
Don't you find that so, Lionel?
22
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,759
To tell you the truth,
I haven't given it any thought.
23
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,239
- Haven't you?
- No.
24
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:25,596
I don't think you actually
think of a thought, do you?
25
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,194
I mean, a thought is a thought.
26
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,037
I think.
27
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,714
We could really open
this discussion up.
28
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,597
I think we'll have coffee.
29
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,432
- Jean, Lionel?
- Yes, thanks.
30
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,476
We must be making a move after that.
31
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,835
- Stephen?
- Rather.
32
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I meant, would you make it for us?
33
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,710
Oh. Right. Erm...
34
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,394
I'll be in the kitchen.
35
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,671
You'll have to forgive Stephen
if he doesn't seem himself.
36
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,910
We hadn't noticed.
37
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,991
He's hiding it. Of course he is.
38
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,071
- Hiding what?
- The strain.
39
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,071
I'm going into hospital tomorrow.
40
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,118
- Oh, Penny, why?
- I'm dying.
41
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,317
- What?
- I'm dying.
42
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,154
- Who told you?
- Nobody told me. I just know.
43
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,710
Oh, I think somebody
would have mentioned it.
44
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,753
- They don't.
- What are you going into hospital for?
45
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,913
- A feminine thing.
- I'll help Stephen with the coffee.
46
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,916
There's absolutely no need.
47
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,675
You wouldn't understand anyway.
I think Jean does.
48
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,877
- No, Jean doesn't.
- Oh, well, I'll whisper then.
49
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,110
All right.
50
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,112
No, not so near, just... again. Again.
51
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,270
Penny, that's not a feminine thing.
52
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,033
- Are you sure?
- We all have a small intestine.
53
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,149
Oh.
54
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,199
- This dying business...
- You could've put that more tactfully.
55
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,589
- Penny brought it up.
- Yes, I did.
56
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,830
And the word holds no fear for me.
57
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:01,674
So are you going into hospital
for an operation, or what?
58
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,591
An exploratory operation.
59
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,035
That's just having
a look around, isn't it?
60
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,111
That's what they say.
61
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,509
They probably won't bother
to bring me round.
62
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,079
Oh, Penny.
63
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,709
Sorry. The filter's making odd noises
and it's not filtering.
64
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,917
Look, I should have done it
myself in the first place.
65
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,752
Hopeless! Hopeless!
66
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:26,235
- She's told you, hasn't she?
- About going into hospital? Yes.
67
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,311
I meant about the dying business.
68
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,914
Yes, I believe she did mention it.
69
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,151
Thought she would. The whole district
knows about it by now.
70
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:40,236
- You don't believe her, do you?
- Logically, no, but she seems so sure.
71
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,629
Penny's not the world's
greatest optimist.
72
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,678
True. Look, I know it's an awful cheek
73
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,513
but do you think I could stay
with you for a few days?
74
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,636
What?
75
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,918
Stephen, most men would want to be
near their wives at a time like this.
76
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,150
But I would be, that's the point.
77
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,390
- The hospital is in west London.
- Oh.
78
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,994
- Almost round the corner.
- Oh.
79
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,712
It is an awful cheek.
80
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,360
No, of course you must
stay with us, Stephen.
81
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,591
Yes, of course you must.
82
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,553
Lionel, will you please stop the car?
83
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,631
There aren't many bushes about.
84
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,518
I don't want a bush.
Just stop the car, please.
85
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,556
All right.
86
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,556
Why?
87
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,270
Sandy said something about you once.
88
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,954
She said you were kinder
than you wanted to be.
89
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,598
I'm not sure how to take that.
90
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,797
She was right.
You said yes to Stephen straightaway.
91
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,394
You must have hated the idea
but you said yes.
92
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,994
- I didn't want to, believe me.
- Then why did you?
93
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,798
Well, what else could I say?
94
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,838
He's got a barmy wife
who's convinced she's going to die.
95
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,434
Leave him on his own,
he'll start to believe it.
96
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,590
Penny never called me
"Poor Jean" once.
97
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,631
She always calls me "Poor Jean."
98
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,269
- It must all be nonsense.
- Of course it must.
99
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,796
But old Stephen, he's so...
100
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,393
Thick.
101
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,232
Yes.
102
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,757
But vulnerable thick.
103
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,592
Awww.
104
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,994
(Shouting and horn honking)
105
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:28,077
We'd better get going. We're setting
the younger generation a bad example.
106
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,274
Of course I don't mind. Judy's room's
a double, so I can move in with her.
107
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,749
Oh, good. Then that's that settled.
108
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:41,230
Except that Uncle Stephen
is used to sleeping with someone.
109
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,952
Not me. I mean, he's used
to sleeping in a double bed.
110
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,918
Well, it'll be a squash
with two of us in mine.
111
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,513
I don't mind taking a single.
112
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,876
- You're just confusing things.
- I'm only trying to help.
113
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,191
If I take the single,
Stephen can have our bed.
114
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:02,671
- Where do I sleep?
- Oh, yes. (Chuckles)
115
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,069
- Come in with me.
- There'll be three of us.
116
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,832
I'll take the single.
117
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,115
You said you'll give
the single to Stephen.
118
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,158
- I could always sleep on the sofa.
- No, I'll do that.
119
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,949
- Then Sandy can move in with Mum.
- Now you're all doing it.
120
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,918
You're creating a confusion
when there isn't one.
121
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,150
Sandy moves in with Judy.
122
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,198
Stephen has Sandy's room,
and Lionel and I stay put.
123
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,794
- It's simple, agreed?
- Right.
124
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,632
(Groans)
125
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,358
(Sighs)
126
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,238
- Except...
- You just said it was simple.
127
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,198
I was thinking Stephen
will feel very much on his own.
128
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,316
He's not coming in with us.
129
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,709
I don't mean us, I mean with you.
130
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,870
Pardon?
131
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,872
I'll go in with Judy
and Sandy can stay where she is.
132
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,916
Unless you'd prefer the single?
133
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,594
Hold on. I feel very sorry
for Stephen, naturally,
134
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,592
but I draw the line at sleeping with him.
135
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,478
- Plan A, then.
- Plan A.
136
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,632
This would have been much easier
if we'd just drawn lots.
137
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,870
Poor Uncle Stephen, though.
138
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,839
- Poor Aunt Penny.
- Yes. She's not very old at all.
139
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,276
Before we get the black crepe out,
may I say something?
140
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,874
Penny is occupying her half a brain
141
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,713
with some weird notion
that she's at death's door.
142
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,756
She's not. She's going into hospital
143
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,593
for an exploratory operation
and that's all.
144
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,875
Hmm?
145
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,390
You're all supposed to say,
"Goodness me, you're right."
146
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,038
- I expect you are.
- I know I am.
147
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:32,432
- People do have premonitions, though.
- Jean.
148
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,476
When I was a nurse, I know it's odd,
149
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,597
but patients did sometimes
get things into their head
150
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,513
and if it came to the fight
they sometimes gave up.
151
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,273
Now, that's cheered
everybody up, hasn't it?
152
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:47,478
I'm sorry but I think it's too simplistic
to dismiss Penny as half-baked.
153
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:53,192
Voodoo works on suggestion.
Victims simply lose the will to live.
154
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,635
Yes. I read a thing about Eskimos once...
155
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,633
Look what you've done. We're talking
about voodoo and Eskimos now.
156
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,190
- In Tibet...
- I don't want to hear about Tibet either.
157
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,556
Our immediate concern is
to stop Stephen from moping.
158
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,154
- That is all.
- Lionel's quite right.
159
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,550
We must cheer Stephen up,
just keep his mind off things.
160
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,676
So, the parrot said,
161
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:23,517
"No, I didn't see a thing.
I got so excited, I fell off my perch."
162
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,632
I don't get it.
163
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,029
He didn't have any feet, you see?
164
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,156
The parrot or the man?
165
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,356
The parrot.
166
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,955
Poor creature.
Was he born without feet?
167
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,157
I don't honestly know. It doesn't matter.
168
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,837
Well, this is it.
I hope you'll be comfortable.
169
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,595
- It's a girl's room.
- It's Sandy's. She's moving in with Judy.
170
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:52,559
I didn't want to cause any disruption.
That's why I brought the sleeping bag.
171
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,949
We're not having you
sleeping on the floor.
172
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,112
Thanks.
I won't rummage around or anything.
173
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,156
I know you won't.
174
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,390
Right, I'll leave you to unpack.
175
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,278
- No, don't go.
- Oh.
176
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,590
No, of course not.
177
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,154
- Jimjams.
- Yes.
178
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:21,310
A bit flashy for my taste, really,
but old Pen bought them for me.
179
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,632
No, they're very... cheerful, aren't they?
180
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,514
Does Jean buy your jimjams for you?
181
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,556
Not so far, no.
182
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,189
I often think of those all-in-one jobs
I used to wear as a little boy.
183
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,589
- Do you really?
- Yes, I do.
184
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,633
I'm sorry but I can't think of
anything else to say about pyjamas.
185
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,438
It doesn't matter.
I was just making small talk.
186
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,159
I know Penny wanted
to have a chat with Jean.
187
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:56,189
Yes, I was er... surprised you didn't
take her straight to the hospital.
188
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,589
She insisted on popping in en route.
189
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:03,117
- What did she want to chat about?
- I don't think we need three guesses.
190
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,589
Erm... is there a drawer free at all?
191
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,958
Yes. Sandy said
she'd emptied the top two.
192
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,996
Jolly good.
193
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,476
- It is empty.
- It's best to make sure.
194
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,154
They can be minefields, girls' bedrooms.
195
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,116
You will look after Stephen
for me, won't you?
196
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,350
That's why we've got him
staying with us.
197
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,557
I don't mean now, I mean... afterwards.
198
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,392
Penny, don't start that again.
199
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,869
I want everyone to wear
something colourful.
200
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,632
When?
201
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,029
I'm not going to listen
to any more of this.
202
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,317
- You have told the children?
- The children? Oh, Judy and Sa...
203
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,277
Yes and they don't believe it either.
204
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,238
Stephen and I never had any children.
205
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,276
Penny, I know that.
206
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,112
Yes, of course you do.
207
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,794
- He'll be on his own...
- Will you excuse me?
208
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,189
I'm just going to see about the tea.
209
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,149
I thought you were supposed
to be making tea.
210
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,593
We have. It's there.
211
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,638
How were we meant to drink it,
through a long straw?
212
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,358
We were being discreet.
213
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,671
- We were waiting for a good moment.
- There are no good moments.
214
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,433
Now she's talking about us
looking after Stephen.
215
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,034
- I need reinforcements.
- Jean?!
216
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,351
- Oh, I'm here.
- For Those In Peril On The Sea.
217
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,513
- What about them?
- I'd like it played at my... you know.
218
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,114
I've told Stephen. But you know Stephen.
219
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,873
- He'll forget and put on Rock Of Ages.
- Oh.
220
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,872
Aunt Penny, don't you think
you're being premature?
221
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,757
I think I'm being practical.
222
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,832
Would any of you be interested
in my jewellery?
223
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,789
(Penny) You can come in now, Stephen.
224
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,192
You don't have to knock.
She said, "Come in."
225
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,589
Oh, yes.
226
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,157
- Hello, Penny.
- Now, look.
227
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,994
There's a list of things I want you
to do at home. First of all...
228
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,351
I'm Gladys Teape.
229
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,510
Oh, how do you do?
230
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,556
I know who you are.
231
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,315
- Are you sure?
- Yes. You're Cilla Black.
232
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,789
No, Mrs Teape. I'm not Cilla Black.
233
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,872
Of course you are. As large as life.
234
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:27,308
- No, really, I'm not.
- Oh, I get it. Incognito, eh?
235
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,437
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
236
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,909
Well, I think it's best that you don't.
237
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,117
You haven't seen
my green teapot, have you?
238
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,988
Erm... no, I don't think that I have.
239
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:44,471
- I'll tell you what, I'll look for it.
- Oh, thank you.
240
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,677
- I got these at that shop downstairs.
- Oh.
241
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,556
What are you doing?
242
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,758
- I'm looking for Mrs Teape's teapot.
- You're doing what?
243
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,673
Mrs Teape, she's hallucinating.
244
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,672
No she's not, she's fast asleep.
245
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,512
Well, she was hallucinating.
246
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,512
Cheerio, then, Penny.
I'll see you this evening.
247
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,556
(Penny) Maybe.
248
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,790
- Pen would like a word.
- Oh, right.
249
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,194
Hello, Penny. How are you feeling?
250
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,989
- I say...
- Yes?
251
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,470
You will never guess who I just saw.
252
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:28,553
- No, I probably won't.
- Cilla Black.
253
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,232
Really?
254
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,513
Good Lord.
255
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,352
You want me to what?
256
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,557
I want you to talk to Stephen
about being a bachelor.
257
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,757
- But he's been a bachelor.
- Yeah but not for ages.
258
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,798
He'll have to relearn the skills
and I want you to help him.
259
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,395
- I'm not sure I had any skills.
- Penny, you've just got to stop this.
260
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,630
- Stop what?
- All this negative thinking.
261
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,676
Just get it out of your mind, or...
262
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,548
- Or what?
- You've even got Stephen believing it.
263
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,676
Well, it's best he's prepared.
264
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,877
(Gladys) # Step inside love...
265
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,794
♪ We'll be carried away... ♪
266
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,072
Did everything go all right?
267
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,913
Apart from somebody thinking
I was Cilla Black, yes.
268
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,514
- Cilla Black?
- She was hallucinating.
269
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,990
- Aunt Penny?
- No, some poor old soul in the next bed.
270
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,152
All Penny's doing is
issuing final instructions.
271
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,357
- A cup of tea?
- I'd sooner have a glass of wine.
272
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,192
Yes, of course.
273
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,157
So, how's Li doing?
274
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,755
He's talking to Stephen. Penny asked
him to help prepare Stephen
275
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,398
for life on his own.
276
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,357
He's not going to do it, is he?
277
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,399
(Sighs) Alistair, you wouldn't
give him a hand, would you?
278
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,158
Oh yes, I know what
I was going to ask you.
279
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,800
Did you ever succeed
in giving up newspapers?
280
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,711
No, I'm afraid not.
281
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:03,349
I got it down to Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday,
282
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:07,194
erm... Wednesday but then
I got withdrawal symptoms.
283
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,759
I'm back on two a day now.
284
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,758
That's interesting.
285
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,956
How's the dentistry business?
286
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,158
Look here, old chap,
I know why you manoeuvred me in here
287
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,798
and it is appreciated.
288
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,475
I didn't manoeuvre you at all,
we just ended up in here.
289
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,312
Well, it's still appreciated.
290
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,154
And old Pen is right,
I could stand some advice on...
291
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,992
Well, going it alone.
292
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,310
- Ah, it's like a curse.
- Is it?
293
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,109
No, I mean the black cloud
that seems to have descended.
294
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,111
Hi, Li. Hi, Steve.
295
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,317
- Ah, Alistair!
- You are on your own, aren't you?
296
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,757
- Yes, but hey, you're not going to be.
- That's what we all keep telling him.
297
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,229
- Well, say I was?
- No, don't say you were.
298
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,276
- But if I were?
- You're not going to be.
299
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,793
Well, just supposing then?
300
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,997
- Oh, tell him, Alistair.
- OK.
301
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,753
But this is in no way,
shape or form a projection.
302
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,593
This is just three guys
chewing the fat, right?
303
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,636
- I understand that.
- Fine.
304
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,393
Well, let's take a look
at being on your own.
305
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,597
Whichever way you slice the pie,
it's not all bad.
306
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,989
For a start, you're as free as air.
307
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,798
You come and go as you please.
308
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,872
No one's trying to talk you
into things you don't want to do.
309
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,474
You only ever answer to yourself.
310
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,869
Yeah, I suppose you do.
311
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,190
What about the opposite sex?
312
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,679
Hey, Steve, they are out there.
313
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,676
Not where I live.
314
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,714
No, no, but in chewing-the-fat terms,
315
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,837
we're probably talking
about a flat in London.
316
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,957
- I hadn't thought of that.
- The place to be.
317
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,996
I suppose it is.
318
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,277
You had a flat in London
when you were single, Lionel.
319
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,759
Yes, I did.
320
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,832
- And were they out there?
- Who?
321
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:59,397
- The opposite sex.
- Oh. Yeah, well, I suppose they were.
322
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,232
Crumbs.
323
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,871
I wouldn't want to give the impression
they were trying to batter my door down.
324
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,269
But hey, who sits at home
waiting anyway?
325
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,989
- (Alistair laughs)
- Well, I did most of the time.
326
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,472
Man, the hunter, eh?
327
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,915
That's right, Steve. (Growls)
328
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,991
(Growls meekly)
329
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,799
Look, this is all pure hypothesis, anyway.
330
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,953
Yes and hypothetically,
mightn't I be a bit long in the tooth
331
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,837
for all this... (Growls) business?
332
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,434
- Yes.
- No!
333
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:37,231
Look, this isn't just a young guy's world.
This is an all guys' world.
334
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,756
- Is it really?
- Hey, Steve, believe.
335
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,913
Before we go any further down this road,
I should point out, Stephen,
336
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,437
that you'll be with Penny, the woman
you love, for a long time to come.
337
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,431
That... that's right.
338
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:55,593
And er... perhaps I did overstate
the case for the single guy.
339
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,113
Yes, you did.
340
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,192
Being on your own isn't all like nirvana.
341
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,077
- It can be lonely.
- Can it?
342
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,593
Yes!
343
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,117
Yes, well, even if it's not,
and this is strictly guy-to-guys,
344
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,317
being free as air doesn't
always seem so special
345
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:17,873
because, well, you're only ever with
someone who's... temporarily special.
346
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,951
That's exactly right.
347
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,277
I don't really know
what I'd do without old Pen.
348
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,236
(Knocking)
349
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,236
I'm quite covered.
350
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,120
We just popped in to say good night.
351
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,236
Oh, this isn't my teddy, you know.
352
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,198
- Oh, isn't it?
- Judith lent it to me.
353
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:59,035
He's called Snuffles, apparently.
It would have been churlish to say no.
354
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:02,874
You don't have to make an excuse,
Stephen. It's nice to cuddle a teddy.
355
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,313
Lionel has a teddy.
356
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,188
- Have you, Lionel?
- Oh, yes, no shame in it at all.
357
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,431
- What's he called?
- Called?
358
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,195
- Well, he must have a name.
- Oh. Yes, of course he does.
359
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,512
- He's called Tubby.
- Odd name for you to choose, Lionel.
360
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,114
I must have been in an odd mood.
361
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,509
- Good night, Stephen.
- Good night, old chap.
362
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,999
It'll all be all right.
363
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,629
Penny had a premonition before
and it was spot-on, that's the trouble.
364
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,678
Well, this one won't be.
365
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,069
- Sleep tight.
- Good night.
366
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,152
Look here,
I really am very grateful to you all.
367
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,595
Oh, what the hell?
368
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,598
I thought you'd all be at work.
369
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,238
(Judy) Yes, so did we.
370
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,073
The office can look after itself for a bit.
371
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,476
Shouldn't the hospital have phoned?
372
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,790
You can't expect them
to be dead on time.
373
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,836
Exactly on time!
374
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,432
You know what hospitals are like.
375
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,829
- What do you mean?
- Well, busy.
376
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,399
They could be running late.
377
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,789
Maybe somebody
hasn't got to the phone yet.
378
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,996
- Maybe there's an emergency.
- With Penny?
379
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,640
No, no, no. Just somebody squeezed in.
380
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,234
Squeezed in what?
381
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,630
Squeezed into the queue
for the operating theatre.
382
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,952
Look, we're all getting very tense.
Why don't we all try to get untense?
383
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,393
- Yes.
- (Doorbell)
384
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,629
(All) I'll get it!
385
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,790
It's probably just the postman.
386
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,990
Or the postman.
387
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,753
No time for niceties.
All lie down on the floor
388
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,796
in a circle, with your feet touching.
389
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,395
- Did I hear you correctly?
- It came to me in the night.
390
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,837
I saw this once in Portugal.
It's a way of concentrating group energy.
391
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,198
Alistair, look, I'm sure this is
very well intentioned but I...
392
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,430
It is for old Pen.
393
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,156
Well, I suppose it can't do any harm.
394
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,198
Right. We'll all lie on the floor, then.
395
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,596
(Alistair) Now, move in closer.
396
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,629
- The feet must be touching.
- Right.
397
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:31,796
Now we just clear our minds and chant.
398
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,030
What do we chant?
399
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:38,033
- Uh...
- (All) Uhhhhh...
400
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:43,148
No, no, no! I was just trying
to remember what the chant was.
401
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,390
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
402
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,993
- Ohh...
- (All) Ohh...
403
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,755
- (Phone)
- Oh, I'll go!
404
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,712
Hello?
405
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,634
Yes, he's here. Stephen, it's for you.
It's the hospital.
406
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,194
Hello? Yes, speaking.
407
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,638
- I've gone deaf. I can't hear.
- Oh, give it to me.
408
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,073
Hello?
409
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:17,597
No, he's temporarily incapacitated.
This is her sister-in-law.
410
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,432
Yes?
411
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,677
Right.
412
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,190
Yes.
413
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,113
Fine. Thank you so much.
414
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,953
- Mum?
- Stephen, can you hear me?!
415
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,553
Yes, I can.
416
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:39,430
They found a small blockage in her
small intestine which they've removed.
417
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,593
There are no complications and she's
just coming out of the anaesthetic.
418
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,791
That's rather good news.
419
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,155
Oh! Ohhh.
420
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,191
Bloody woman.
421
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,593
Go on, Stephen. You talk to her first.
422
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,511
Thanks.
423
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,398
- Penny?
- Go on.
424
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:14,237
I wonder who she'll think you are today?
425
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:18,552
- She isn't here.
- She's gone. They took her away.
426
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,631
(Thud)
427
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,196
Stephen!
428
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,359
- I feel rather silly doing this.
- He's coming round. Stephen?
429
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,671
- Am I dead?
- No, of course you're not dead.
430
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,716
- Penny?
- Penny's fine.
431
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,349
- That lady said they'd taken her away.
- They moved her to a side ward.
432
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,398
Apparently, Mrs Teape
was at it full throttle last night,
433
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,393
singing at the top of her voice,
so they moved Penny into a side ward
434
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,516
so she could get a decent night's sleep.
435
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,909
Thank goodness for that.
436
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,790
I suppose it was seeing Cilla Black
yesterday got her overexcited.
437
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,555
I wonder what she was doing here.
Charity work, I suppose.
438
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,312
(Both) No.
439
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,755
- No what?
- Doesn't matter.
440
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,193
Here's Penny now.
441
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,430
No need to charge about with this thing.
442
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,829
- We're not in a grand prix.
- She's all right.
443
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,469
- Hello, Penny, how are you?
- Stephen, why are you in my bed?
444
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,358
- (Jean) he fainted.
- Jolly good to see you, Pen.
445
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,876
- If you'll excuse us.
- I think you could get up now, Stephen.
446
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,871
Oh, yes, of course.
447
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,830
You used to wear a little white cap.
448
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,514
Yes, and big hunking shoes, too.
449
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,798
- Was that for golf?
- It was when I was a nurse.
450
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,077
I shouldn't stay too long.
She'll be rather tired.
451
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,754
Mrs Teape won't start
singing again, will she?
452
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,990
No, she's quite rational this morning.
453
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,389
I don't think we shall
have any more singing.
454
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,358
- Will Penny be all right?
- She'll be fine.
455
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,431
Not too long now.
456
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,394
Hello, Pen. Would you like a teddy bear?
457
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,156
- Why should I want a teddy bear?
- They're rather nice, that's all.
458
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,870
I know why
you are looking at me like that.
459
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,154
Dying!
460
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,913
You had six people
in a state of near hysteria.
461
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,389
I couldn't help having a premonition.
462
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:15,031
Just do us a favour, Penny, next time
you have one, don't tell us about it.
463
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:19,193
What's the matter with you? A few hours
ago you were talking about funerals.
464
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,353
All you have to do is clean the house
for when Penny comes out of hospital.
465
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,352
It isn't that. I was just thinking
about yesterday,
466
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,749
when you and I and Alistair
were chewing the cud.
467
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,478
- Fat.
- Sorry, fat.
468
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,633
That was just a hypothetical
rather silly discussion.
469
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:39,157
Yes, I realise that but, you know,
when Alistair was talking about freedom
470
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,754
and all those women out there...
471
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,754
for one awful moment,
it all sounded rather attractive.
472
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,554
Do you think I'm intrinsically evil?
473
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,551
No, I don't, Stephen.
474
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,996
I bet you wouldn't let a thought
like that cross your mind.
475
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,195
No.
476
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,352
I've left Snuffles on your bed,
just in case.
477
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,908
- Jolly good.
- You're staying on?
478
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,639
He'll want to visit Penny.
It's only for a few days.
479
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,518
- You don't mind, do you, Lionel?
- No, I'm delighted.
480
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,149
So am I. It'll be nice to have
a fellow to chat to.
481
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,038
I expect we'll have
some jolly decent chats.
482
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,076
Will you be back at work tomorrow?
483
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,912
Oh, yes.
484
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,878
Right, I'll just pop upstairs
and wash the old visage
485
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,757
and I'm taking you both out to lunch.
486
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,354
Stephen, the premonition
that Penny had,
487
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,590
the one that came true,
what was it about?
488
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,274
It was years ago. It was uncanny.
489
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:36,309
Old Pen got this odd feeling that a horse
called Shergar would disappear
490
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,356
after it had won the Grand National.
491
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,476
Uncanny.
492
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,636
Shergar did disappear.
493
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,553
Yeah but he won the Derby,
not the Grand National.
494
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,591
We're not just silly people, are we?
495
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,193
No sillier than most, why?
496
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,589
It's just that she got us going,
didn't she?
497
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,478
- Premonition.
- I suppose it was just fear.
498
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,554
I'm having my annual checkup
next week.
499
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,039
You didn't say.
500
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:08,237
Well, it got rather
overshadowed by events.
501
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,993
- You're not worried, are you?
- No, I'm not worried.
502
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,436
But you don't really look forward
to a checkup, do you?
503
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,829
Not as you would a holiday.
You'll be fine.
504
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,319
Of course I'll be fine.
505
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,709
- But if there is anything...
- Lionel!
506
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,234
- You have to think of these things.
- No, you don't!
507
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,470
- I'll just say this...
- Ohh...
508
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,951
If there is anything wrong,
I'd like you to have all my jewellery.
509
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,315
Oh!
510
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,118
Oh, stop it. Stop it!
511
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,513
♪ You must remember this
512
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,909
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
513
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,276
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
514
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,916
♪ The fundamental things apply
515
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,754
♪ As time goes by
516
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,073
♪ And when two lovers woo
517
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,674
♪ They still say I love you
518
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,877
♪ On that you can rely
519
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:18,992
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
520
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:25,952
♪ As time goes by ♪
521
00:28:26,002 --> 00:28:30,552
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