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1
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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,473
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,472
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,589
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,275
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
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Why anyone should pack an anvil for
a weekend in the country, I don't know.
7
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,558
You've been muttering all morning.
What is it now?
8
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,474
- You can't wear all this stuff in two days.
- I thought I heard "anvil".
9
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,676
Or will you change every 20 minutes?
10
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,591
It's called planning ahead.
11
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:51,435
If we're using this house on weekends,
I'm packing a few things to keep there.
12
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,274
- Oh.
- So let's leave "anvil" out of things.
13
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,194
- We're ready to go now, are we?
- Just a few more bits and bobs.
14
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,714
The kitchen sink, presumably.
15
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,233
I heard that.
16
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,710
- Haven't you gone yet?
- No.
17
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,314
You said you were setting off first thing.
18
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,871
- I was in a mood of wild optimism.
- You are just going for the weekend?
19
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,236
- If we ever go at all.
- The backseat's full as well.
20
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,151
Just as well you bought a big car.
21
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,754
I'm going to trade it in
for a pantechnicon.
22
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,594
- Shall we stay out for a bit?
- My thoughts exactly.
23
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,913
Have you got a spanner?
24
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,310
- Why do you want a spanner?
- To unscrew the kitchen sink.
25
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,755
You're taking rather a lot, that's all.
26
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,956
- That's the lot.
- Good.
27
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,634
- Why are we taking food?
- To eat.
28
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,438
Mrs Bale said she'd get food in.
29
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,829
But when people say they'll get food in,
30
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,480
you never can be sure
what kind of food.
31
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,348
I hardly think she'll have packed
the fridge with rhinoceros steaks.
32
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,000
What if she'd forgotten
the custard tarts?
33
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,308
- Ah.
- Ah!
34
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,914
Can we get these into the car
and be on our way?
35
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,037
I was beginning to despair
of going altogether.
36
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,031
- (Sighs)
- What's that?
37
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,156
It's a note for Judy and Sandy.
38
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,271
"Lock up. We can be reached..."
39
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,113
They know where we are.
"I've hidden the spare key..."
40
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,112
- You going to read all that?
- No, let's get going.
41
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,153
There are games in here.
This box is full of games.
42
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,674
- That's in case it rains.
- We don't want to...
43
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,433
Right. In case it rains.
44
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,277
I was expecting you earlier.
45
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,193
I know, Mrs Bale.
We were expecting us earlier.
46
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,555
- Shall I take that?
- It's fine, I've got it.
47
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,358
You brought food with you.
48
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,118
Just a few little extra special things.
49
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,634
- Eggs?
- Only six.
50
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,314
Why would you assume
that I'd forget eggs?
51
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,119
I didn't. I don't know
why I brought them.
52
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,714
You haven't got
any custard tarts in there?
53
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,791
Oh, no! No, no!
54
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,757
Pleased to hear it.
55
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,517
- I'll take that.
- No, leave that to me, it's very heavy.
56
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,956
Nonsense. My strength
is as the strength of ten
57
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,110
because my heart is pure.
58
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,317
Puny.
59
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,918
Eggs.
60
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,516
I've invented a new cocktail
61
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,751
to celebrate your becoming
the new master and mistress.
62
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,753
- That's very kind, Mrs Bale. Do sit down.
- No, thank you.
63
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,239
What's it called?
64
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,039
- I thought just Vroom.
- Oh.
65
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,032
Vroom! Well, cheers.
66
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,118
That hits the spot.
67
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,476
You sounded quite like your father then.
68
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,473
- Oh, how are they? Have you heard?
- They're still in Mongolia.
69
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,838
I received a postcard from
somewhere called Ulan Bator.
70
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,911
I assume they've been yak riding.
71
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,150
- Several times.
- Ooh!
72
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,231
I wonder what it's like riding a yak.
73
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,878
Yakky I should think.
74
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:12,309
Well now, I prepared a light lunch
with the food I got in.
75
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,710
It will be ready in 18 and a half minutes.
76
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,758
Would you like me to serve it in here
or in the garden?
77
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,912
I should think in here.
It's a bit chilly in the garden.
78
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,878
I suppose it might seem so
to city people.
79
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,798
Was that a rebuff?
80
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,393
A little dig, I think.
81
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,552
- What will the locals make of us?
- "Foreigners."
82
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,393
"Coming down here
with your fancy London ways."
83
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,755
I thought we'd stroll
to the village after lunch.
84
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,070
You're not intending to buy more food?
85
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,151
Just to look around.
86
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,595
Mmm, well, we could.
87
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,955
That wasn't said with total enthusiasm.
88
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,598
I'll be honest.
89
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,353
I found getting away
for the weekend a bit tiring.
90
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,953
If that's a dig at me...
91
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,556
It's not, and I'm sure we'll get it down
to a fine art with practice.
92
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:02,191
We'll probably be packed up and ready
to go in five or six hours, eventually.
93
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,430
If I had the energy, I'd get up and hit you.
94
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,556
- You're tired too?
- Yes, isn't it awful?
95
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,349
It's not awful at all.
That's what these weekends are for.
96
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,398
Rest and relaxation,
not tearing round villages.
97
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,516
I don't remember mentioning tearing.
98
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,718
What I thought would be nice
after lunch would be...
99
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:20,915
(Jean chuckles)
100
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,115
Well... a gentle sprawl about.
101
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,031
(Laughs)
102
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,190
You mean a nap, don't you?
103
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:33,636
- Yeah, I suppose I do.
- Come on, we're not that tired.
104
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,199
(Chuckles)
105
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,876
(Mouths)
106
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,910
- (Woman laughs)
- Shh! Shh!
107
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,038
Coo-eee!
108
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,509
- What?
- Coo-eee!
109
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,119
- What's going on?
- Hello, old chap.
110
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,638
Alan and Glenys.
111
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,756
And Derek and Dorcas.
112
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,831
- How do you do?
- Oh, shut up.
113
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,433
Jean.
114
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,078
- Jean!
- Hmm.
115
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,116
I was just having a lovely dr...
116
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,069
Oh!
117
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,958
- This is Alan and...
- Glenys.
118
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,837
Glenys and Derek and Doreen.
119
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,956
- Dorcas.
- Dorcas.
120
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,917
Oh. How do you do?
121
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,638
If this is a bad time?
122
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,553
No, no, no. No, it isn't, is it, Lionel?
123
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,757
Erm, no. Although I don't exactly...
124
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,400
Not that it's ever
an "on the dot" arrangement.
125
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,950
I suppose one just falls
into a sort of pattern.
126
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,589
- Yes, I suppose one does.
- (Derek) I know Dorcas and I have.
127
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,558
But I always say there's nothing wrong
with a pattern...
128
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,871
if it's a pattern that pleases.
129
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,516
Yes. That's true. Well, that's very true.
130
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,558
Please don't think this
an indelicate question,
131
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,676
but... you did know we were coming?
132
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,035
- Well...
- Of course we did.
133
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,157
- We just forgot the time.
- (Guffawing)
134
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,037
How lovely to meet you all.
135
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,032
Now I'll go and see
if Mrs Bale is, erm...
136
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,588
is laying something on.
137
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,638
Well, do sit down. Excuse me.
138
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:41,035
I'll go and see if Mrs Bale
is laying something on too.
139
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,959
Odd couple.
140
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,031
Who are those people?
141
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,156
I haven't the faintest idea.
142
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,515
Then why did you say
we were expecting them?
143
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,239
They were expecting us
to be expecting them.
144
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,356
- That's not our fault.
- We're new.
145
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,874
We can't let people
think we're inhospitable.
146
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,030
We can't make them feel they barged in.
147
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,951
But they did!
148
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,555
They could... They could be squatters
for all we know.
149
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,518
Oh, Lionel. Do they look like squatters?
150
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,832
No, I suppose not.
151
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,832
Mrs Bale, who are those people in there?
152
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,559
- Guests.
- We didn't invite any guests.
153
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,517
You didn't say not to.
154
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,910
- You invited them?
- I wouldn't presume!
155
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,470
- Who did invite them?
- Mr and Mrs Hardcastle, Senior.
156
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,269
- They're in Mongolia.
- It's a long-standing invitation.
157
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,557
The first Saturday of the month
has been open house for years.
158
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,519
- Nobody told us.
- I can't remember everything.
159
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,790
- He's your father.
- I'm painfully aware of that.
160
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,677
(Loud cheers)
161
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,718
We can't just throw them out, can we?
162
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,155
- I have to say no, I suppose.
- Come on, it mightn't be so bad.
163
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,435
Might be jolly having a few people round.
164
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,351
- (Groans)
- Come on.
165
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,756
(Laughter)
166
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,197
(Loud laughter, muffled conversation)
167
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,517
(Tuts)
168
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,839
- I'm on my own in there.
- No, there are hundreds of them in there.
169
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,956
I didn't know half the county'd turn up.
170
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,396
- You're not helping, skulking out here.
- I'm not skulking.
171
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:35,469
- What are you doing, servicing the car?
- I suppose I'd better come in.
172
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:38,757
It's not easy dealing
with a lot of strangers.
173
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,910
They're not strangers to each other.
174
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,312
If they meet on the first Saturday
of every month, they wouldn't be.
175
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,311
It must cost Rocky and Madge a fortune.
176
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,038
Us from now on.
177
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:53,830
Next month we could say that we've got
measles and we're in quarantine.
178
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,356
What will we have the month after that,
swamp fever?
179
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,228
We can't have measles for the rest of
our lives. A nurse ought to know that.
180
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,629
I said the first thing
that came into my head.
181
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,837
We could say that you were unhinged.
182
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,478
Have you got any ideas?
183
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,393
We don't come here
the first Saturday in every month.
184
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,836
I have an awful feeling
they'd turn up regardless.
185
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,036
Well, come on.
186
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,908
- Better at least play hosts.
- So much for a quiet weekend.
187
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,272
(Alan) Ah! There you are!
188
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,794
Come on, you two.
We're about to play Murder.
189
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,077
Don't say it. Don't say it!
190
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,236
(Car departing)
191
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,756
Well, at least they didn't stay to dinner.
192
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:45,358
It did cross my mind that we might be
expected to put them up for the night.
193
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,273
I expect Alan would have
organised a feast in the dorm.
194
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:52,319
- I hate organisers.
- If you're referring to my packing...
195
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,233
You know I'm not.
The main thing is, is they've gone.
196
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,869
Which gives us three weekends in a row
to ourselves.
197
00:10:58,960 --> 00:10:59,949
(Sighs) Yes.
198
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,270
Why do you say yes like that?
199
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,237
Well...
200
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,759
Yes?
201
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,879
Well, Alan said that on the second
Saturday of every month
202
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,951
everybody went over to him and Glenys.
203
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,076
Oh, my God.
204
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,357
And on the third Saturday
of every month
205
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,795
everybody goes to Derek and Dorcas.
206
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,792
- The fourth weekend?
- To Tim and Jane's.
207
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,396
- I didn't even meet a Tim and Jane.
- He's in software, and she has a lisp.
208
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,710
She didn't lisp when I talked to her.
209
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,268
She didn't say anything
beginning with S.
210
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,672
As a matter of fact,
I don't think she did. She just said hello.
211
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,309
- You can't very well lisp hello, can you?
- Not really.
212
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,710
It's like a travelling circus.
You didn't say yes to any of this?
213
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:50,158
- Not in so many words.
- Which means you didn't say no.
214
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,470
- Not in so many words.
- For goodness' sake!
215
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,278
Before you get on your high horse,
216
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,079
if these people kindly
invite us to their homes,
217
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,116
we can't just turn them down flat.
218
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,873
- (Grunts)
- Well, can we?
219
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,870
We've got sucked into the county set.
220
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,999
- At least there are Sundays.
- I wouldn't bank on those either.
221
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,071
This is more like it.
222
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,230
I said there were always Sundays.
223
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,958
Hmm.
224
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,476
- I almost went to church this morning.
- You didn't say anything.
225
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,030
No. I went back to sleep
while I was considering it.
226
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,712
About the county set...
227
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,759
Oh, don't spoil the day
talking about them.
228
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,958
- Let's have a drink before lunch.
- That's a much nicer idea.
229
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,436
Just a minute.
Those cars, I recognise them.
230
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,272
What as?
231
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,113
Half of them were parked
outside the house yesterday.
232
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,749
- They're all in there.
- You're getting paranoid.
233
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,479
You didn't take a note of
the numberplates?
234
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,391
I just know I recognise some of them.
235
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,994
I know that one
with the stupid cat on the window.
236
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,551
- (Both) Derek and Dorcas.
- They're enough to be getting on with.
237
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,710
Let's find another pub.
238
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,277
- Oh. Oh.
- Hey, old fellows. Well met.
239
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:16,036
How lovely. We forgot to tell you
the gang meet here Sunday lunch time.
240
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,078
Come in. Last one to the bar's a sissy.
241
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,592
Come along.
242
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,072
The gang.
243
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,196
We're in a gang now.
244
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,708
Dorcas wants me to join the WI.
245
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,233
Last week they had a talk on thimbles.
246
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,190
That's a good word
for a woman with a lisp to say.
247
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,158
(Lisping, country accent)
A class of thimbles.
248
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,468
Yeth!
249
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,074
Next week we'll go to the pub
in the next village.
250
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,914
They probably got an affiliated gang.
Same people, different names.
251
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,956
(Woman) Coo-eee!
252
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,391
(All) Surprise!
253
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,597
Oh. Oh, hello.
254
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,789
I have to put up my hands
and say this is all my fault.
255
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,270
- I should have thought.
- It seemed like a fun idea at the time.
256
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,590
Well, it's not that you're not welcome.
257
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,272
Mum, we saw your faces.
258
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,476
They did not say,
"How lovely to see you."
259
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,279
We just haven't had
much time to ourselves.
260
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,669
We're in a gang, you see.
261
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,077
Did you say gang, Li?
262
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:39,631
Well, a crowd. Everybody seems to do
everything together down here.
263
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,153
Everything?
264
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,038
- Alistair.
- Sorry, Li.
265
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,395
There are isolated showers
in the Irish Sea.
266
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,436
Will the young people stay to lunch?
267
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,670
- No thank you, Mrs Bale.
- Absolutely not.
268
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,957
This was a flying viz.
We'll shoot round some local hostelry.
269
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,873
- Two for lunch then.
- Of course they must. Lionel?
270
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,871
Provided nobody wants to play Murder.
271
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,712
- Five for lunch then?
- (Jean) Yes.
272
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,439
- Two, Mrs Bale.
- Two for lunch?
273
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,751
- Judy, you're making me feel awful.
- No, I feel awful.
274
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:11,277
- We shouldn't have crashed in like this.
- No we shouldn't. I feel awful as well.
275
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,636
Having established
that everyone feels awful,
276
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,711
may I have a decision about lunch?
277
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,075
Yes, five, Mrs Bale, and that's final.
278
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,754
- Thank you.
- (Lionel) Seven.
279
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,877
- Lionel, don't be difficult.
- I'm not being difficult.
280
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,997
I've just seen Penny
and Stephen arriving.
281
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,190
It's a lovely house, Jean. Lovely.
282
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,795
But isn't it rather large
for just two people?
283
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,632
Well, we don't know yet.
284
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,794
I couldn't live in a large house. I'd just
ramble around and keep losing myself.
285
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,836
Forever?
286
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,475
Obviously not forever
or I'd never be seen again, would I?
287
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,039
No, no.
288
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,953
You mustn't worry about
the house being too large.
289
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,555
- Aunt Penny, Mum is not worried.
- Of course she is.
290
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,679
But look on the bright side, you've got
plenty of room for houseguests
291
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,320
and Stephen and I can stay
for the whole weekend
292
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,073
whenever you want us to -
we're only an hour away.
293
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,674
As close as that?
294
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,228
- Jolly, isn't it? What's in here?
- The library.
295
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,390
- May I peep?
- Oh, of course.
296
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,155
The trouble with libraries
is all those books. Awful dust gatherers.
297
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,511
- Pow!
- Is that a cough, dear?
298
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,556
Of course, it could be damp.
299
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,511
(Mouths)
300
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:55,036
- Ah, there you are.
- Yes, Stephen, here I am.
301
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,235
You mind if I...
302
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,390
No, of course not.
303
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:08,073
- Have a paper.
- No, thanks all the same.
304
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,789
I give myself a day off
from the newspapers on Sundays.
305
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,075
Do you?
306
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,596
- Don't mind if I have a read?
- Absolutely not.
307
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,794
Trying to give them up on Saturdays too.
308
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,759
- Really?
- Well, they're so depressing, aren't they?
309
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,472
Between you and me, I wouldn't mind
trying to give them up altogether.
310
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,476
Why don't you, then?
311
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,355
I suppose if I gave
them up on Saturdays,
312
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:45,230
I could try to work my way
back through the week.
313
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,311
Yes, you could do that.
314
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,911
Starting with Friday...
315
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,119
- Then Thursday...
- And so on.
316
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,239
- Quite. Then Wednesday.
- Stephen, I've got the gist.
317
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,949
Of course you have.
Then on to Tuesday.
318
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,916
Then Monday.
319
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:13,351
And Sunday would be all right
because I've cracked that already.
320
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,632
Jolly good.
321
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,390
I could, of course, do the whole thing
the other way round
322
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,392
and give them up
on Monday to start with.
323
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,239
- Then Tuesday...
- Look...
324
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,271
if you want to give up the newspapers,
325
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,716
why don't you just give
them all up at one fell swoop?
326
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,475
- That's a bit draconian, isn't it?
- (Groans)
327
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,352
- Are you all right?
- Yes, fine. I'm having a lovely weekend.
328
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,796
That's good. I suppose it will be
like this every weekend.
329
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,279
Guests all over the house.
330
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,716
Stephen, what do you know
about woodworm?
331
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,438
Nothing at all. Why?
332
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,193
Penny thinks we may have
woodworm in the library.
333
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,751
Oh, while you're at it, would you
like to check the cellar for rats?
334
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,669
I'm surprised you haven't done
that already.
335
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,878
- Must have slipped my mind.
- Don't know a lot about rats either.
336
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,839
- It's "Love you and leave you" time.
- Have a lovely rest of the day.
337
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:19,198
- You don't have to go yet.
- We don't want to outstay our welcome.
338
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,477
Oh, well. Goodbye, Judith.
Goodbye, Sandra.
339
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,630
Goodbye. Bye, Penny.
Bye, Stephen.
340
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,870
- Bye!
- Bye now.
341
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,473
- Bye!
- Bye.
342
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,916
- It looks as if the party's breaking up.
- Still, never mind.
343
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,755
- Oh, we don't have to go for ages.
- Only an hour away, you see?
344
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,070
Practically neighbours.
345
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,072
I've been chatting to Lionel
about giving up newspapers.
346
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:46,631
Oh, don't start that again, Stephen.
You've been on about it for six months.
347
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,915
Aren't you two going to sit down?
348
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,275
Oh, yes. Of course.
349
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,591
Oh, dear.
350
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,629
I know they lay eggs.
351
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,551
- Who do?
- Woodworm.
352
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,039
Oh.
353
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,554
Rats don't, of course.
354
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,428
- I didn't say you had rats.
- I know, I was just chipping in.
355
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,034
I know what I meant to say.
356
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:16,398
- I saw something in the kitchen, Jean.
- Cockroaches?
357
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,553
- Lionel! What was that, Penny?
- A box full of games.
358
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,837
Oh, yes. That's in case it rains.
359
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,388
I love Scrabble. Let's play Scrabble.
360
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,510
Yes, well, it doesn't have
to be raining of course.
361
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,590
- Your turn.
- Right.
362
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,918
F-U...
363
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,309
R-Z-E.
364
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,356
Furze, 34.
365
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,750
Excellent. Now I can
put my S on the end
366
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,638
and that makes furzes.
367
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,392
There's no such word.
368
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,710
Of course there is.
Furzes, plural of furze.
369
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,998
The plural of furze is furze.
Like gorse. You don't have gorses.
370
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,355
No, geese.
371
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,075
- That's not the same thing, Stephen.
- No, I suppose not.
372
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,789
- Am I allowed to have "furzes" or not?
- No.
373
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,633
- I insist on seeing a dictionary.
- We haven't got one.
374
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,872
You've got a library full of books.
You must have a dictionary. Jean?
375
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,475
I'm not going into the library
in case I get savaged by woodworm.
376
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:29,348
This is just a friendly.
Let furzes stay. Stephen, your turn.
377
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,273
Well, it's a bit tricky really.
378
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,191
I seem to have all the Qs and Ys.
379
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:41,195
Er... I couldn't make furzes furzesy,
I suppose?
380
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,829
No, not even in a friendly.
You must have something else.
381
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,956
Well, I have got a P but...
382
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,157
Oh, hang on. Wait a minute.
383
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:56,429
If I take the C from cottage,
and put down my P, I can have pottage.
384
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,269
- Stephen, you're not allowed to do that.
- Are you sure?
385
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:07,239
Next you'll be rushing down the board
and changing that P into a king!
386
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,880
I played somewhere
where you substituted letters.
387
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,190
- Where?
- I don't know, somewhere or other.
388
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,635
- (Jean) My go.
- It wasn't with me. Who with?
389
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,756
- My go.
- (Stephen) I don't remember.
390
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,957
How many times have you been
round playing Scrabble...
391
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,793
My go! F-L-U-G, flug.
392
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,758
- Flug?
- Yes, it's Anglo-Saxon.
393
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,796
Put that C back on cottage, Stephen.
394
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,759
Sorry to interrupt, but I've been listening
to the shipping forecast.
395
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,308
- Is this relevant?
- Extremely relevant.
396
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,710
Hampshire will be shrouded
in thick fog within the hour.
397
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,268
- That's us.
- I know it's us, Stephen.
398
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,591
Mrs Bale, are you sure?
It's perfectly clear outside.
399
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:47,878
If our brave mariners respect
the shipping forecast, I think we should.
400
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,838
- You're quite right.
- Yes, look, Stephen, we must go.
401
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,876
Right-ho, yes.
402
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,838
I'm terribly sorry
we have to dash off like this.
403
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,638
We'll see you out.
404
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,474
I hate driving in fog. Seems
to send me into some sort of daze.
405
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,710
Does it? You'd better get cracking then.
406
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,798
Flug?
407
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,997
I'll let you know how I get on
with giving up newspapers.
408
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,073
- Do. I'll be fascinated to hear about that.
- It was lovely, Jean.
409
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,391
Next time we'll come
for the whole weekend.
410
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,708
How lovely.
411
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,317
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
412
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,152
Goodbye.
413
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,395
- God bless the shipping forecast.
- Yes.
414
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,436
(Knocking)
415
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,639
Sorry.
416
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,638
- Mrs Bale?
- Yes?
417
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,349
This dense fog which is going to
engulf the whole of Hampshire,
418
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,716
isn't it rather odd to hear that
on a shipping forecast?
419
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,552
(Jean) Mrs Bale!
420
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,269
Well, I thought the situation
warranted a little white lie.
421
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,315
Bless you.
422
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,234
You claimed to have the strength of ten
because your heart was pure.
423
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,676
I've always found "pure"
to be a very comparative word.
424
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,879
What happens when Penny and Stephen
get home without seeing any fog at all?
425
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,192
- Oh, Penny will blame Stephen.
- She can't blame him for the weather.
426
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,953
Why not? She blamed him
for the Gulf War.
427
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,037
(Heavy sigh)
428
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,988
- Peace, perfect peace.
- Yes.
429
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,435
We'll have to make a move soon.
430
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,875
- Where?
- Home.
431
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,916
It's only five o'clock.
432
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,639
We've got to pack up,
then there's the traffic.
433
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,712
Sunday evenings,
people back from the country.
434
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,836
We don't want to get caught in the rush.
435
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,480
- It was hardly worth coming.
- Don't say that.
436
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,950
We've had about five minutes
to ourselves all weekend.
437
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:49,750
People coming and going.
We might as well have gone to Butlins.
438
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,717
We have to do something about it.
439
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,234
Like disconnect the phone
and bolt the doors?
440
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:58,677
I shall be serving an intimate supper
in front of the fire at 7:43.
441
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,877
Oh, that sounds lovely, Mrs Bale,
442
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,598
But we have to set off soon.
443
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,478
- Why?
- Yes, why?
444
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,074
I've got to go into the office tomorrow.
445
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,798
- Why?
- Yes, why?
446
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,110
Why does everyone
keep saying "Why?"?
447
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:18,399
Cos I'm not semi-retired. I just can't go in
when I feel like it. I mean...
448
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,155
It does sound lovely,
supper in front of the fire.
449
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,915
Just phone Judy and say
you'll be in sometime tomorrow.
450
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,355
- You know, I think I will.
- Excellent.
451
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,829
Then I shan't have to
hide your rotor arm.
452
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,751
(Laughs)
453
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,516
- What's a rotor arm?
- Put it this way.
454
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,875
The car wouldn't start without one.
455
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,076
Oh, Mrs Bale has hidden depths.
456
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,914
- Father calls her the adjutant.
- Talking of Rocky...
457
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,230
I can't imagine they got dragged into this
458
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,117
"Everybody over to so-and-so's" thing.
459
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,156
No, nor can I really.
460
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,357
The open house thing here, all right,
461
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,035
but "Everybody over to so-and-so's"
just isn't their style.
462
00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:00,795
- I wonder what excuse they used?
- They're not excuses people.
463
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,475
They'd just say,
"No thank you. We don't want to."
464
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,279
- They probably would at that.
- We should try it.
465
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,033
Might not make us popular
but at least it's honest.
466
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,271
If it stopped that crowd
trying to take over our lives
467
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,316
it'd be worth a try.
468
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,879
I mean thimbles.
469
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,351
Alan suggested I got a 4x4
and went off-roading with them.
470
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,078
Now, try it.
471
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,232
I don't want to go bumping over fields
in an armoured car.
472
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,835
No, try saying, "No thank you.
We don't want to."
473
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,072
- No thank you. We don't want to.
- That sounds very surly.
474
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,674
- You try it then.
- All right.
475
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,469
No thank you. We don't want to.
476
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,037
- (Laughing) That sounds rather whiny.
- Does it?
477
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,315
- Somewhere in the middle then.
- (Phone)
478
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,516
- (Groans)
- That will be one of them.
479
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,512
- Leave us alone!
- I'm not having it.
480
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:56,435
- We're having supper in front of the fire.
- No, let me try somewhere in the middle.
481
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,239
- But honest.
- Honest, of course.
482
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,713
- Hello? Oh, Alan.
- (Laughing) Oh, my God.
483
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,399
Supper tonight?
Oh, thank you, Alan.
484
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,869
- What?
- No, we can't.
485
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,555
- That's a shame. Why ever not?
- Why? Why?
486
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:15,678
Er... Well, it...
487
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:20,117
Would you believe it?
Lionel has just come down with measles.
488
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,111
Yes. Yes, I know. That's fine. Yes.
489
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,634
Yes, so goodbye.
490
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,598
♪ You must remember this
491
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,240
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
492
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,710
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
493
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,395
♪ The fundamental things apply
494
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,790
♪ As time goes by
495
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:55,272
♪ And when two lovers woo
496
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,954
♪ They still say I love you
497
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,032
♪ On that you can rely
498
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:08,031
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
499
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:17,198
♪ As time goes by ♪
500
00:28:17,248 --> 00:28:21,798
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