All language subtitles for American Housewife s03e04 Enemies.eng

Franklin and I have a big announcement.

We've decided to run for president

and vice president of our class.

Oh, thank goodness.

I thought you were gonna say
we were engaged.

[Laughs] Oh, Franklin.

Your bone-dry sense of humor

makes you the perfect running mate.

That and I'm counting on you

to pull in the peanut-allergy vote.

Taking a leadership role
at school is a great idea.

Do you know who
you're running against yet?

So, far, it's just Todd
and Mia Anderson.

But I'm sure a few others will
throw their hats in the ring.

I can't wear hats.

My mom said my head shape
and size is unidentifiable.

Drink this, Franklin.

You start talking nonsense
when your blood sugar's low.

We're so proud of you, Anna-Kat.

- You're gonna do great, honey.
- [Laughs]

She's gonna get killed in the election.

Hell, I'd even vote for Todd and Mia.

I know. They're friends with everyone.

And she's friends with...

[Dog toy squeaks]

Franklin.

She has been doing so well lately,

and her OCD is really improving.

If she loses this election,
she could backslide.

Well, we can't tell her
not to run for president.

Of course we can. Kids are clay, Greg.

It's our job to shape them.

[Quietly] Just like I shaped you.

- What'd you say?
- [Normal voice] Nothing.

Did you know my uncle was my dad
and my dad is my brother?

I didn't either until yesterday.

Drink your juice.

Anna-Kat, while Dad and I
think that it's great

that you want to run
for class president,

the fact is that president
is a terrible job.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

Maybe there's another office
you can run for.

Hmm. I could run for hall monitor.

Mnh-mnh. No way. I'm not raisin' no rat.

[Sighs] There's also Green Chair,

the student head of class recycling.

Yes! And since I'm head of the
school recycling committee...

...we can get matching reflector vests

and pick up garbage together
at night, like superheroes.

No superheroes pick up garbage at night.

Yes, they do. Just don't talk about it.

Before I agree to this...

Anna-Kat, who is running
for Green Chair?

No one.

Anna-Kat for Green Chair!

[Sighs]

Sorry, Franklin, I don't need
a running mate anymore.

Green Chair is a single-seat office.

Plus, it probably wasn't the best idea

to bring work home with us, anyway.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

Who's a good boy? You're a good boy.

Oh, hey, Trip. Taylor's not home yet.

Yeah, I'm meeting her when she gets back

from drama club rehearsal.

Oh, aren't you the good boyfriend.

- [Barks]
- Look at the ball!

Look at the ball. Look at the ball.

- Look at the ball. Look at the ball.
- [Whines]

Good boy. Watch the ball.
Watch the ball.

Watch the ball. Here's the ball.

Here's the ball. Okay, go get it!

[Panting]

[Panting]

- So fun.
- [Laughs]

Okay, well...

[Panting]

[Door creaks]

- Mom, can you sign this?
- Mm?

It's a permission slip

to apply for a dance scholarship
to Deervale Academy.

Isn't Deervale a boarding school?

- Like, where you go to live?
- That's correct.

If I go there, I'm a shoo-in
to get into Harvard.

I'm not sending you to boarding school.

We're not rich idiots
who just throw money at people

to raise their stupid kids.

We are good middle-class parents.

We raise our own stupid kids.

But aren't you burned out on parenting?

Judging by your appearance,
you seem very burned out.

I am.

But we still need
the next four years to shape you

into being a halfway-decent,
non-sucky human being.

Don't I get a say in what I want to do?

[Laughs]

Hold on a second. I'm recording this.

Ask me that again.

Forget it.

Hey, guys. [Chuckles]

Dad, this is Pierce.

We're in the musical together.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Uh, maybe we've already met.

Uh, perhaps you caught me last summer

at the Westport Playhouse,

where I was the lead
in "Phantom of the Opera."

I was also in a commercial
for Gary's Sporting Goods.

I played Boy Excited About His Backpack.

Ah, okay.

You guys are doing
"Little Shop of Horrors," right?

Yeah, Pierce plays Seymour.

And he's been sweet
to rehearse so much with me,

even though I'm just in the chorus.

I'm not being sweet.
I mean, Taylor's amazing.

She's got a beautiful voice
to match her beautiful face.

My God, Pierce, stop it.

[Laughs]

Uh, Pierce, have you met Trip,

Taylor's serious boyfriend?

Yeah, yeah, we've seen
each other around.

Everyone nominated for
"Best Eyes" knows each other.

Trip, I-I know we said
we'd hang out today,

but Pierce said he would help me
rehearse this afternoon.

Oh, that's cool. I'll hang here
until you guys are done.

Your dad and I are playing some catch.

- [Laughs]
- Nice to meet you, sir.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[Footsteps]

[Birds chirping]

Trip, what do you know about
this guy Pierce? [Guy Pearce]

Ooh, he was in "Memento."
He was good in that.

No, Pierce, who was just here.

Do you think he was maybe a
little touchy-feely with Taylor?

Nah, he seems like a good dude.

Ah, you're probably right.

Here you go, boy.

Ah, sorry, Mr. A.
I wasn't ready for that.

The dog ate it.

- Guess what.
- Hm?

I'm not running unopposed
for Green Chair anymore.

Oh, really? Who's running against you?

Penny Brown Mueller-Lawton.

[Groans]

I wonder why Penny would run
for Green Chair

so late in the race.

I might know why.

I'll have, uh...

Katie, please leave some
pastries for the rest of us.

At least I know my bran muffin is safe.

It's the only thing here
without frosting.

[Laughs]

One bran muffin, please.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Thud]

That was supposed to keep me regular.

- [Door opens, closes]
- [Sighs]

I'll never poop again.

Chloe is obviously making
Penny run against Anna-Kat

to get back at me.

Penny will definitely beat her

and ruin our plans
to give Anna-Kat the win.

You need to apologize to Chloe.

Or break into her house

and shave her eyebrows
while she's sleeping,

then tattoo caterpillars
where they used to be.

Fine.

Is it okay if I use my employee discount

to buy this bracelet?

Oh, that bracelet
is absolutely gorgeous.

- Mm.
- But it looks so bad on you.

Take it off. I hate it now!

[Clatter]

I'm taking that out of your paycheck.

[Bell dings]

[Sighs]

Chloe.

Katie.

Look, I know what I did
at Stewart and Kingston's

- was childish.
- Yes, it was.

But by any chance,

did you make Penny run against Anna-Kat

as retaliation?

I sure did.

- Hmm. Respect the pettiness.
- Mm.

I came here to appeal to you,
mother to mother.

Would you consider pulling Penny
from the election?

Anna-Kat really needs this win.

Please.

[Sighs]

Maria.

Please slap that muffin
from Katie's hand.

- I really don't want to...
- Maria!

[Whispers] I'm so sorry.

[Thump]

Penny's staying in the race.

And not only is she gonna beat Anna-Kat,

she's gonna destroy her.

Landslide, bitch!

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, get ready for a fight,

because Anna-Kat is gonna treat Penny

the way you treat Maria.

[Gasps] How dare you!

[Bell jingles]

[Door closes]

Maria, eat that muffin off the floor!

Don't worry, Anna-Kat.

Mama is gonna help you win Green Chair

and take those Brown Mueller hags down.

Honey, this is a school election
between Anna-Kat and Penny.

- Don't make it about you and Chloe.
- It's both, Greg.

This is what happens
when you have an enemy.

The hate spreads like
a bumpy, itchy, leaky rash.

What kind of rashes do you get, Mama?

Anna-Kat, if you want
to win this election,

you have got to make Penny your enemy,

just like Chloe is my enemy.

There's gotta be another way
of doing this, Katie.

I like Penny. She's my friend.

Penny is trying to take
something from you.

So now she's your enemy.

That doesn't feel right to me.

It's okay. Feels right to me.

My mom refuses to sign
the application form

so I can apply to boarding school.

How am I gonna get her
to change her mind?

Why don't you make yourself unbearable

so they'll be happy to get rid of you?

[Scoffs] I don't know.

I feel like I'm already
pretty unbearable.

Yeah, but you could do better.

And I could come with you
to boarding school.

It's a dance academy. You don't dance.

They'll let me in.

I'm rich.

I don't have to do any of this.

Anna-Kat Otto for Green Chair.

Earth donut hole.

Anna-Kat Otto for Green Chair.

Earth donut hole.

Anna-Kat Otto for Green Chair.

Earth donut hole.

[Horn blaring]

[Brakes squeal]

Donut holes suck!

Earth crepes for everyone!

- [Crowd gasping]
- Bon app?tit!

Whoo!

[Crowd murmuring]

They stole my happy-face
Earth campaign symbol!

Yeah, that's what Chloe does.

She takes something that
someone else has made great

and makes it suck.

She's like a one-woman Pentatonix.

Speaking of Green Chair,
you know what else is green?

Money!

Whoo!

[Indistinct shouting]

Vote Penny Brown Mueller-Lawton!

[Indistinct shouting]

Oliver, are you really betraying
Anna-Kat like this?

Crepes and money, sister...

two things I can't resist.

[Shouting continues]

Dude, good job. You were awful.

What? I haven't started yet.
I was just being regular me.

[Groans]

And since it's my fault

that Penny is running for Green Chair,

I have to help Anna-Kat win.

But I can't compete
with Chloe's deep pockets.

Katie, when I used to be
a corporate fixer

and was working with someone who
couldn't outspend the other...

- Mm-hmm?
- ...I would just have to destroy them.

Okay, wait a minute. How does
Anna-Kat feel about all this?

There. Now people have to stop saying,

"There's no such thing
as a stupid question."

Well, there's nothing wrong

with taking your child's
feelings into account.

Oh, we're gonna have to call

the "There's no bad ideas" people, too!

Keep talking, little woman.

Keep talking.

Anna-Kat is going to feel great

when she has that win under her belt.

But how do I destroy Chloe
and her adorable daughter?

Simple. When they spend high,
you go low.

Full-on smear campaign. Sling some mud.

How much mud could you possibly
drudge up on a 9-year-old?

Yeah. We're gonna have to
make some stuff up.

Wussy McFeelings is right.

One more word.

Say one more word, and we're gonna go.

Yeah. I can take her, right?

Mnh-mnh. She'd squeeze your insides out

like you were a Go-GURT.

Love that shirt.

Mm-hmm.

PIERCE:
With sweet understanding

TAYLOR:
Sweet understanding

Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?

Uh, we're rehearsing, Dad.

And afterwards, we're gonna do
a couple acting exercises,

like a stretch and share.

You stretch

and you share something
intimate about yourself.

I'm often compared to
a young Paul Newman,

and I always say "Thank you,"
but I have no idea who that is.

Cool.

Hey, Taylor, where's your gorgeous,

well-bodied boyfriend, Trip?

He's coming over tonight.

Great. Can't wait to see him.
Love that kid.

Okay, Dad, see ya later.

I think I'll do a stretch and share.

I have a collection
of Revolutionary sabres

that hunger to be unsheathed.

Okay, that was good. That was good.

But next time, try it
from your diaphragm.

A.B.P....

[Projecting loudly]
Always be projecting.

[Projecting loudly] I have a collection

of Revolutionary sabres
that hunger to be unsheathed.

- Hear it?
- Yeah.

- Great.
- That was better.

Why are you drawing a dinosaur?

All I can draw are dinosaurs.

Oh, Franklin, what am I
going to do with you?

Just love you, I guess.

Oh, those look great, Anna-Kat.

We're throwing them out.
They're too nice.

We need to go low.

Smear campaign is in full effect.

Against a 9-year-old?

It's really a smear campaign
against Chloe

through a 9-year-old.

That makes it better.

Well, that's ridiculous.

The kid you should really be
concerned about is Pierce.

I think he's trying to steal
Taylor away from Trip.

Mnh-mnh. Don't get involved.

But you're getting involved
with the Anna-Kat thing.

I know, but Anna-Kat

is an adorable, helpless little angel.

So is Trip!
He can't see what's happening.

He's just like Luthor.

If left to his own devices,

Trip would eat chocolate until he died.

Well, Greg, it looks like you have

a "keep your friends close and
your enemies closer" situation.

If you think Pierce
is moving in on Taylor,

then you need to keep Pierce close.

Watch him, and when he
slips up, expose him.

- That's good.
- Mm-hmm.

I'll invite him to dinner.

Then, when he's comfortable, I'll say,

"Pierce, do you want some
potatoes? Corn?

Taylor?"

- See if he takes the bait.
- Yeah.

And when I finish, my mom
picks me up out of my crib,

and she says,

"We're gonna get you an agent, honey."

If you're the lead in the musical,

why are you spending so much
time rehearsing with someone

- who's just in the chorus?
- Dad!

I just like singing with Taylor.
She's really good.

Is she, Pierce? Is she?

'Cause I got ears,
and I ain't hearing it.

Dinner's delicious, Mrs. Otto.

Thank you, Cooper.

Cooper, you don't have to say that.

Especially when it's not true.

Dinner's gross, per usual,

and I'd like to apologize for this food

and this house

and my mom's taste in men.

- Oliver, I don't know what's gotten into...
- [Cellphone blooping]

_

...gotten into me,

but I'm thinking about buying
some whimsical socks

that make me smile
when I open up the drawer.

Well, I happen to think
dinner is terrific.

Thank you, Mrs. Otto.
I couldn't eat another bite.

You know who could eat
another bite? Trip.

He could eat all the bites.

Okay, Pierce, let's go upstairs
and run lines.

I bet Chloe Brown Mueller makes
a nice dinner for her family.

I wish she was my mother.

What kind of son are you?

All this woman does is cook for you

and care for you,

and you disrespect her like this?

I would cast him out.

It's the only way he's going
to learn, Mrs. Otto!

[Slams table] The only way.

I know what you two idiots are up to.

Well, guess what.

I'm not signing any paper
to any boarding school,

no matter how obnoxious you act.

Oliver, for the last time,
you're not going anywhere.

Don't you want Oliver to be
the best Oliver he can be?

Cooper, don't you have five homes?

Seven. One on each continent.

Go to one of them.

- You're ruining my life.
- Meh.

But tomorrow,
we start ruining Penny's life.

Hold on. Could we back up a minute?

You have a house in Antarctica?

You ever see "March of the Penguins"?

They marched right by our place.

Oh.

[Shutter clicking]

[Sighs deeply]

[Cans clattering]

Oh!

[Crowd murmuring]

- Ew. Is that fur?
- No way.

[Gasps]

[School bell rings]

[Grunting]

[Both grunting]

Oh!

- Oh, no!
- [Grunting]

- Come on!
- No!

Freeze!

My office. Now.

[Students "Ooh"]

Oh! Oh!

Ladies, things have clearly
gotten way out of hand

with this Green Chair election.

So, in lieu of...

Franklin, do you know why you're here?

No.

Fair enough.

As I was saying,
in lieu of a better solution,

I'm going to get rid
of the Green Chair position.

Principal Ablin, I understand

that you're just trying
to do damage control here,

but it's not fair to punish the girls

for the bad decisions
made by their mothers.

Yeah, this is all Katie's fault.

She threw away my bran muffin.

Well, I guess we can say that you two

are a couple of bad moms.

Did you happen to see that movie?

I caught it on a flight.

Delightful.

[Sighs]

Principal Ablin, what's really not fair

is that we're damaging the Earth

just because my mom and
Mrs. Brown Mueller are enemies.

The Earth has enough enemies...
pollution, plastic.

It needs all the help it can get.

So, if you agree to keep Green Chair,

then Penny can have it.

Are you sure you want to just
give the position to Penny?

Yes.

Anna-Kat, that is a very diplomatic

and selfless thing to do.

I'll accept your proposal.

I have an idea.

Let's do it together.

We can be like Green Co-Chairs!

Don't be insane!

You don't have to share your title.

What has she ever given you? Lice?

No. That was me.

Ugh. You're weird. [Sighs]

Penny, I know where this kindness
nonsense is coming from.

I should have never let you give

that homeless person a granola bar.

[Groans]

One thing today proved is that,
no matter how hard I try,

I'm not going to be able to turn
Anna-Kat into a bad person.

She is who she is.

[Classical music plays]

Oliver's a pain in the butt,

- but he sure is driven.
- Mm-hmm.

Maybe not signing that form
is us just getting in the way

of Oliver becoming who he really is.

Why is he all alone?

I think we're super late picking him up.

We're not the best parents.

He's probably hungry.
Did you bring him a snack?

I did, but I ate it.

Oliver, I need to say something to you.

I know you ate my post-ballet,
pre-dinner snack again.

I make no apologies for that.

If Deervale is something
that you really want

and ballet is something
that you really enjoy,

then we need to let you be who you are

and not who we want you to be.

I signed your permission slip.

Thanks.

And the biggest reason I don't
want you to go away to school

is because I'd miss you so much,

and I am not ready to let go
of any of my babies just yet.

Even though I'm unbearable?

When you do go,

that'll certainly take
the sting out of it.

[Breathes sharply]

Honey, we need to talk.

[Sighs]

I am sorry for the mess that I made

of the Green Chair election.

I just wanted you to win so badly,

I made it all about my rivalry
with Chloe Brown Mueller.

It's okay, Mama.

I know you were just looking out
for me, in your own weird way.

That's right. And the best part is,

you got the win all by yourself.

I guess you don't need enemies
to motivate you, like your mom.

But to be clear, just because
you and Penny are not enemies

doesn't mean I won't be
archenemies with her mommy.

You are who you are, Mama...

a very scary person
who I'm glad is on my side.

Watch this. This time,
I'm gonna catch it in the air.

- [Cellphone beeping]
- [Chuckles] Okay.

Uh, hey, Mr. A, I gotta bail.

I told Pierce I'd grab
some food with him.

Later!

Bye, Mrs. A.

[Groans]

It's not the same.

Where is he going?

He's going to hang out with Pierce.

I guess I was wrong about him.

He's not trying to steal Taylor away.

He just wants to hang out with Trip.

- Interesting.
- What?

You were right about Pierce.

He is trying to break up
Taylor and Trip.

How?

Pierce is keeping Trip,
his enemy, close.

And when the time is right,

he's gonna swoop in
and steal Taylor from him.

I knew it.

This Pierce kid is
a real snake in the grass.

I'm a fan.

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