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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,742 Katie, great job on the Spring Gala! 2 00:00:05,789 --> 00:00:06,819 Thank you. 3 00:00:06,844 --> 00:00:08,531 Now you're getting paid to plan parties. 4 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:09,391 [Both chuckle] 5 00:00:09,424 --> 00:00:12,350 Mrs. Otto, your donut, and a doily to go underneath. 6 00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:14,247 A donut doily. 7 00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,020 I... 8 00:00:16,053 --> 00:00:18,089 I need a moment. 9 00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:21,827 When I started having children 17 years ago, 10 00:00:21,859 --> 00:00:25,563 I never thought the day would come when I'd... 11 00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:27,531 finally be able to start work. 12 00:00:27,565 --> 00:00:29,868 I... What the hell are you doing? 13 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:33,004 And why does your breath smell like you just threw up grass? 14 00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:37,409 Luthor, ew! 15 00:00:37,442 --> 00:00:39,511 Ow! Off my boob! 16 00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,379 KATIE: Oh, man, stress dream. 17 00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:43,415 Today's my first day of work in 10 years. 18 00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:44,750 Can I do this? 19 00:00:44,782 --> 00:00:46,717 Okay, Luthor, fetch me my slippers 20 00:00:46,751 --> 00:00:48,186 and all the energy from my 20s. 21 00:00:48,218 --> 00:00:49,253 [Whines] 22 00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:50,939 23 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:53,642 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 24 00:00:56,026 --> 00:00:58,529 25 00:00:58,562 --> 00:01:01,266 Okay, guys, how do I look? 26 00:01:01,299 --> 00:01:03,276 Like you're ready to turn the business world upside down. 27 00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:04,363 Don't pressure me. 28 00:01:04,388 --> 00:01:06,872 I'm not looking to turn the business world upside down. 29 00:01:06,905 --> 00:01:08,774 Okay, then I'll just say that you look beautiful. 30 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,674 I'm a professional woman, Greg. 31 00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:12,944 I don't want to be judged on my appearance. 32 00:01:12,977 --> 00:01:15,580 Oliver, when you get married, you might someday encounter 33 00:01:15,613 --> 00:01:17,849 what's known as a "no-win situation." 34 00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:19,750 Here's what you do... walk to the refrigerator, 35 00:01:19,783 --> 00:01:20,818 look inside it for a while. 36 00:01:25,089 --> 00:01:27,459 I just want to get through my first day without screwing up. 37 00:01:27,492 --> 00:01:30,462 I, for one, just want to say thank you. 38 00:01:30,494 --> 00:01:32,630 You're a mom. You're working. 39 00:01:32,664 --> 00:01:35,367 You're a working mom. You've got it all. 40 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,101 What are you doing? 41 00:01:37,134 --> 00:01:38,736 - Being encouraging. - I don't like it. 42 00:01:38,769 --> 00:01:39,804 It's creeping me out. 43 00:01:39,837 --> 00:01:41,772 Why am I being encouraging, you ask? 44 00:01:41,806 --> 00:01:44,042 This is the kind of parenting I no longer have time for. 45 00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:47,112 Because today's tip for success is, "Be encouraging." 46 00:01:47,144 --> 00:01:48,747 Who's Johnny Diamond? 47 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:50,147 He's a motivational speaker 48 00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:52,283 who's helped hundreds of people become filthy rich. 49 00:01:52,316 --> 00:01:53,818 So now he's also my new role model. 50 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,720 I thought I was your role model. 51 00:01:55,753 --> 00:01:58,223 [Chuckles] Adorable, Dad. Never change. 52 00:01:58,256 --> 00:02:01,593 Johnny D's holding a seminar in Westport later this month. 53 00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:03,727 I just need 500 bucks to get in. 54 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,068 [Laughing] Oh, Greg, the boy just needs $500. 55 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,165 Go get my change purse. 56 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:09,900 No need. I have it right here in my shoe. 57 00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:12,136 "You gotta learn to love the haters." 58 00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:14,673 Johnny Diamond. 59 00:02:14,706 --> 00:02:17,976 There's no way I'm giving you $500 to join a cult. 60 00:02:18,009 --> 00:02:19,177 [Footsteps approach] 61 00:02:19,209 --> 00:02:20,222 Oh, good morning, honey. 62 00:02:20,247 --> 00:02:22,613 I don't need a Walmart greeter when I come down the stairs. 63 00:02:22,647 --> 00:02:23,614 I just said "good morning." 64 00:02:23,648 --> 00:02:25,317 Stop being so bitchy about losing 65 00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,618 your awful Blondetourage friends. 66 00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:27,952 They were the worst! 67 00:02:27,986 --> 00:02:32,156 "I chewed and spit out the best meal last night." 68 00:02:32,189 --> 00:02:34,258 Wow, it's like they're in the room. 69 00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:35,693 Come on! It's club day at school. 70 00:02:35,726 --> 00:02:37,261 You'll join a club and meet new people. 71 00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:39,763 I checked the stupid list and they all seemed stupid. 72 00:02:39,797 --> 00:02:41,032 Since I'm now working, 73 00:02:41,064 --> 00:02:43,334 I am going to start delegating some parenting. 74 00:02:43,368 --> 00:02:45,804 Oliver, if you motivate your sister to join a club, 75 00:02:45,837 --> 00:02:48,106 I'll give you that money to join that cult. 76 00:02:48,138 --> 00:02:50,308 Deal, and, "It's not a cult until they raid your compounds 77 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,042 and seize your assets." 78 00:02:52,076 --> 00:02:54,045 - Johnny Diamond. - Eh. 79 00:02:54,077 --> 00:02:56,848 Mama, are you gonna pick me up from school today? 80 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,782 No, sweetie, your daddy worked it out with his schedule. 81 00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:00,851 He'll pick you up, but I will be home 82 00:03:00,885 --> 00:03:02,487 to tuck you in and read you a story. 83 00:03:02,519 --> 00:03:03,673 You promise? 84 00:03:03,698 --> 00:03:07,058 Not only do I promise, I pinky double-kiss promise. 85 00:03:09,027 --> 00:03:11,630 Now that Mom is working, we all need to do our part. 86 00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:12,958 Did everyone remember to pack your own lunches? 87 00:03:12,983 --> 00:03:13,904 - Yeah. - Yes. 88 00:03:13,929 --> 00:03:16,200 I packed the best lunch ever... 89 00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:19,403 a jar of Spanish olives 90 00:03:19,437 --> 00:03:21,973 and my olive-eating gloves. 91 00:03:22,005 --> 00:03:23,708 And for the crowd at recess... 92 00:03:27,211 --> 00:03:30,081 Seems like I need to change the Amazon password. 93 00:03:30,113 --> 00:03:31,649 Hmm. 94 00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:33,718 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure. 95 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:37,021 I feel like Anna-Kat's OCD is getting worse. 96 00:03:37,054 --> 00:03:39,391 I mean, she looks like she's starting a meth lab. 97 00:03:39,423 --> 00:03:41,992 [Glove snaps] 98 00:03:42,025 --> 00:03:44,729 Do you think it's because I'm going back to work again? 99 00:03:44,761 --> 00:03:46,564 I mean, I know I'm going to ruin this kid's life, 100 00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:49,434 but is this the moment when it actually happens? 101 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:51,060 It's a big change, but don't worry! 102 00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:52,237 I got this. 103 00:03:52,269 --> 00:03:53,737 [Alarm rings] 104 00:03:53,771 --> 00:03:55,406 Oh, crap! I gotta get to work. 105 00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:56,740 Work... 106 00:03:56,773 --> 00:03:58,275 I'm going to work! 107 00:03:58,308 --> 00:04:00,244 Before you go... 108 00:04:00,278 --> 00:04:01,780 I got you a little present. 109 00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:04,114 So even when you're at work, the family's always with you. 110 00:04:04,148 --> 00:04:06,117 Aww, I'm not taking that thing. 111 00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:08,018 I got a job to get away from you people. 112 00:04:08,052 --> 00:04:12,223 113 00:04:12,248 --> 00:04:15,072 Bathroom's down the hall. Kitchen is back there. 114 00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:17,995 And this is your office. 115 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:24,736 If I put a cot in here, I could move in. 116 00:04:24,769 --> 00:04:26,738 Is there a shower in the building? 117 00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:27,738 No. 118 00:04:27,772 --> 00:04:28,974 I could make it work. 119 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,208 Are you ready to meet Whitney? 120 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:33,277 Of course! I am so excited to finally meet the boss. 121 00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:34,346 Fantastic. 122 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,645 [Beep] 123 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,213 Whitney, you're on with Katie. 124 00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:41,882 WHITNEY: Katie, hi. 125 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:45,117 Oh, um, hi, Whitney! 126 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,453 I heard such great things about your Spring Gala. 127 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,121 I had to hire you right away. 128 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,489 I wanted to be there for your first day, 129 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:51,892 but I'm having some health issues. 130 00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:54,160 Oh, no. I hope it's nothing serious. 131 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,796 Just serious enough to get the fun drugs. 132 00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:59,131 So are you ready for your first assignment? 133 00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:00,147 Can't wait. 134 00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:01,780 You'll be throwing a party 135 00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:05,304 for the Westport socialite Nancy Granville. 136 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,407 Oh, no, Katie. You look disappointed. 137 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,710 That's right, Kevin. I see everything. 138 00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,679 So, Katie, you know Nancy? 139 00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:17,249 Yes. Nancy and I have some history. 140 00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:19,085 [Heels tapping] 141 00:05:19,117 --> 00:05:20,487 Hmph. Old Navy. 142 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,500 I knew it. 143 00:05:21,525 --> 00:05:22,592 You wanna see my tag? 144 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:23,994 - Nope. - I'll just tell you. 145 00:05:24,027 --> 00:05:25,463 It's Gucci! 146 00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:27,631 But it won't be a problem. [Chuckles] 147 00:05:27,664 --> 00:05:28,837 Good. 148 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,835 And, Kevin, if you want to keep this job, 149 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:31,868 give me push-ups. 150 00:05:33,871 --> 00:05:35,638 Not the lady ones, Kevin! 151 00:05:35,672 --> 00:05:37,273 Off your knees! 152 00:05:37,306 --> 00:05:40,277 153 00:05:40,309 --> 00:05:42,912 Okay, let's narrow things down. 154 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:46,417 All the academic clubs are out, obviously. 155 00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:47,685 How 'bout Yearbook? 156 00:05:47,717 --> 00:05:49,487 Ew, it has the word "book" in it. 157 00:05:50,888 --> 00:05:54,525 Then the only club that seems to make sense to me is... 158 00:05:54,557 --> 00:05:56,025 Drama club. 159 00:05:56,059 --> 00:05:58,328 They're doing "Little Shop of Horrors." 160 00:05:58,362 --> 00:06:00,196 Hmm, maybe. 161 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,032 In the third grade, I won the talent show when I sang 162 00:06:02,064 --> 00:06:03,967 "She'll be running around the fountain when she hums." 163 00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:06,036 You mean "Coming around the mountain when she comes"? 164 00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:08,037 It's "fountain" and "hums." 165 00:06:08,071 --> 00:06:09,640 I don't care. Just sign the sheet. 166 00:06:09,672 --> 00:06:12,709 [Chuckles] "Coming around the mountain." 167 00:06:12,742 --> 00:06:14,377 You've been singing that wrong your whole life! 168 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:16,780 [Laughs] 169 00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:20,351 170 00:06:20,383 --> 00:06:24,855 Before we start, I wanted to clear the air a bit 171 00:06:24,888 --> 00:06:27,858 and say I'm a little surprised that you hired me. 172 00:06:27,891 --> 00:06:29,859 No, Katie, don't be! 173 00:06:29,893 --> 00:06:32,730 You did such an amazing job at the Spring Gala. 174 00:06:32,763 --> 00:06:34,832 You were the only person that I wanted to hire. 175 00:06:34,864 --> 00:06:36,132 Aww. 176 00:06:36,165 --> 00:06:37,967 Plus, now that you're an employee, 177 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:41,071 I feel like I finally get our relationship. 178 00:06:41,104 --> 00:06:43,040 Let's get started. 179 00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:45,576 What type of event are we throwing? 180 00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:47,578 Well, last year, we had the most amazing 181 00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,679 Great Gatsby party at The Manor. 182 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,681 - Ooh. - There was a champagne tower. 183 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,150 There were Charleston lessons. 184 00:06:53,182 --> 00:06:55,919 And Marjorie Roland relapsed, almost drowned in the pool. 185 00:06:55,953 --> 00:06:57,669 It was so on theme! [Giggles] 186 00:06:57,702 --> 00:07:02,167 Anyway, this year, I am thinking bigger and better. 187 00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:03,494 Now, my husband, Marshall... 188 00:07:03,527 --> 00:07:04,495 Mm-hmm. 189 00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:06,696 - Marshall. [Clears throat] - Yeah. 190 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,680 My husband, Marshall, has come up 191 00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:11,156 with a sexy, sophisticated idea for the party. 192 00:07:11,188 --> 00:07:13,123 This year's theme is "South Pacific." 193 00:07:13,157 --> 00:07:14,492 It's my favorite musical. 194 00:07:15,693 --> 00:07:18,529 Okay, Katie, I know what you're thinking... 195 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,666 "How did Marshall get so straight?" 196 00:07:21,698 --> 00:07:24,268 That is exactly what I'm thinking. 197 00:07:24,301 --> 00:07:27,838 Well, he spent the whole summer at a retreat in Montana 198 00:07:27,871 --> 00:07:30,054 and just came back super butch. 199 00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,142 [Chuckles] 200 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:32,943 I just love women. 201 00:07:32,976 --> 00:07:35,346 I love everything about them... 202 00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:37,837 their hair, their nails, everything. 203 00:07:42,652 --> 00:07:45,390 This all seems very permanent. 204 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:49,194 Anyway, when I hear "South Pacific," 205 00:07:49,226 --> 00:07:52,063 I picture turning your yard 206 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,466 into a tropical beach 207 00:07:54,498 --> 00:07:56,834 with a volcano that erupts, 208 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,837 pouring out a signature cocktail 209 00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,673 served by shirtless waiters in grass skirts. 210 00:08:01,705 --> 00:08:03,040 Old me would've loved that. 211 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,644 Excellent. I'll get started on the estimate. 212 00:08:06,676 --> 00:08:08,512 Roughly how many people are attending? 213 00:08:08,546 --> 00:08:11,582 Well, we have invited 50 adults and 25 children. 214 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,051 There'll be children at this party? 215 00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:14,819 Yes, this "South Pacific" soiree 216 00:08:14,851 --> 00:08:16,520 is my 10-year-old's birthday party. 217 00:08:16,553 --> 00:08:19,356 Oh. Uh, sure. 218 00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:21,226 You're the client. 219 00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,026 And the client's always right. 220 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,728 I'll come up with a bunch of great ideas 221 00:08:25,753 --> 00:08:26,864 and get back to you tomorrow. 222 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,400 Oh! Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup! 223 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:31,034 No, I want to start researching 224 00:08:31,068 --> 00:08:32,704 that signature cocktail tonight. 225 00:08:32,737 --> 00:08:33,772 [Chuckles] 226 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,373 Oh, okay. 227 00:08:35,406 --> 00:08:36,574 How late are we talking? 228 00:08:36,607 --> 00:08:38,276 Because Anna-Kat goes to bed at 8:30. 229 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,911 Oh, so does Becky. 230 00:08:39,944 --> 00:08:42,918 So we will be back by 9:30 just to be safe. [Giggles] 231 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:44,115 [Chuckles nervously] 232 00:08:44,147 --> 00:08:51,689 233 00:08:51,722 --> 00:08:54,359 Anna-Kat, anything bothering you? 234 00:08:54,392 --> 00:08:56,728 Nope. Just can't get this pony clean. 235 00:08:56,761 --> 00:08:59,296 So I guess there's only one thing to do. 236 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,102 Goodbye, Jezebel Star. 237 00:09:04,134 --> 00:09:06,270 You were a good one. 238 00:09:06,304 --> 00:09:08,640 "Here lies Jezebel Star, 239 00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:11,942 sired by Rainbow McCloskey and Tinkerbell James. 240 00:09:11,975 --> 00:09:14,546 Some have said, 'You weren't the sparkliest pony.' 241 00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:17,114 You rode valiantly in the great battle 242 00:09:17,147 --> 00:09:19,984 of ponies versus Oliver's robot dinosaur." 243 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,653 This is one of your best. 244 00:09:23,988 --> 00:09:25,457 My advice, guys... 245 00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,091 Keep clean. 246 00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:30,894 Just in case Mama not being around as much 247 00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:32,996 is making you feel a little anxious, 248 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,400 I have a fun idea to calm you down. 249 00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,334 How would you like to make some slime? 250 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,070 But Mama said slime was banned in this house. 251 00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:42,507 She was all like, [As Katie] "Anna-Kat, 252 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,809 I don't want you usin' up my Tupperware!" 253 00:09:44,841 --> 00:09:46,910 Yeah, but she told me... hold on... [Clears throat] 254 00:09:46,944 --> 00:09:48,246 [Deep voice] "I need you to handle things." 255 00:09:48,278 --> 00:09:49,580 [Normal voice] Oh, that was terrible. 256 00:09:49,613 --> 00:09:51,315 [Normal voice] You're doing it from here. 257 00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:52,850 It needs to come from here. 258 00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,118 Mm. 259 00:09:54,151 --> 00:09:55,786 [Tires screech] 260 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,622 Is Anna-Kat still awake? 261 00:09:57,655 --> 00:09:59,357 - [Door slams] - Dad brought her upstairs a while ago. 262 00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:01,359 I am not missing her bedtime 'cause it took Nancy 263 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,494 four hours to perfect the "Nancy Colada!" 264 00:10:04,461 --> 00:10:05,529 [Thudding] 265 00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:06,830 Is she still... 266 00:10:06,863 --> 00:10:08,766 I got your texts. I tried to keep her up. 267 00:10:08,799 --> 00:10:10,869 Oh, crap! It's my first day of work, 268 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,171 and I already broke a pinky double-kiss promise. 269 00:10:13,204 --> 00:10:14,339 Did she ask for me? 270 00:10:14,372 --> 00:10:15,507 No, she was fine. 271 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:16,974 That's even worse, Greg! 272 00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:19,277 She didn't even miss me. 273 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,045 Here's a little perspective for you... 274 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,381 Jezebel Star died tonight. 275 00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:28,773 276 00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,515 I feel guilty because I was working 277 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,183 and missed Anna-Kat's bedtime. 278 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:37,489 And I feel even more guilty because I actually like working. 279 00:10:37,521 --> 00:10:39,189 I'm not following you. 280 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,257 Which part? 281 00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:42,192 Well, I don't understand feeling guilt. 282 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:43,193 Mm-hmm. 283 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,728 I don't understand getting a job. 284 00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,697 I don't really understand any of it. 285 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:48,066 That's because you're a sociopath. 286 00:10:48,099 --> 00:10:49,534 Undiagnosed. 287 00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,101 I know how to beat the test. 288 00:10:51,135 --> 00:10:53,528 At work, I have an office, people listen to me, 289 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,122 and for the first time in a while, 290 00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,950 I feel like I'm using my brain. 291 00:10:56,975 --> 00:10:59,110 Am I bad mom because I like my job? 292 00:10:59,143 --> 00:11:00,411 Of course not. 293 00:11:00,436 --> 00:11:03,160 Feeling guilty is part of being a working mom. 294 00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,769 Or do it my way and hire a Jewish nanny 295 00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:07,337 to feel guilty for you. 296 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,539 I'd be happy to loan you Chava any time. 297 00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,207 Thanks, guys. 298 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,542 Or really, thanks, Angela. 299 00:11:12,574 --> 00:11:14,176 Doris, you were no help at all. 300 00:11:14,209 --> 00:11:16,678 Oh. Katie, I'm so sorry. 301 00:11:16,712 --> 00:11:18,114 Thank you. 302 00:11:18,146 --> 00:11:20,949 See? You believed that. That's how you beat the test. 303 00:11:20,982 --> 00:11:23,085 Hah! Boom! 304 00:11:23,119 --> 00:11:25,555 Duped! Undiagnosed! 305 00:11:25,587 --> 00:11:27,424 100 for 100! 306 00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:32,428 307 00:11:32,462 --> 00:11:34,197 Taylor Otto. 308 00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,700 Hey, before you go in, I have one last thought. 309 00:11:37,732 --> 00:11:40,436 "Don't blow it." Johnny Diamond. 310 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:42,973 Don't blow it. Don't blow it. 311 00:11:44,273 --> 00:11:46,510 So, what are you gonna be singing for us today, Taylor? 312 00:11:54,317 --> 00:11:55,618 [Sighs] 313 00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:57,753 We got another smiler! 314 00:12:01,591 --> 00:12:05,662 315 00:12:05,694 --> 00:12:08,597 [Gasps] You must be Becky. 316 00:12:08,630 --> 00:12:10,799 It is so nice to finally meet you! 317 00:12:10,832 --> 00:12:14,303 My name is Katie, and your mom hired me to plan your party. 318 00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:15,737 It's not my party. 319 00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:17,674 All of this is for my mom. 320 00:12:17,707 --> 00:12:20,010 Except for the waiters. They're for my dad. 321 00:12:22,345 --> 00:12:24,247 This is your birthday. 322 00:12:24,279 --> 00:12:26,915 How 'bout you pick out the birthday cake you want? 323 00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:28,952 Chocolate, vanilla. 324 00:12:28,985 --> 00:12:30,787 It doesn't matter. 325 00:12:30,819 --> 00:12:33,656 Whatever I say, my mom will just change it to flan. 326 00:12:35,725 --> 00:12:38,361 Hey, Nance. I had a weird thought. 327 00:12:38,394 --> 00:12:42,130 What if we changed the theme from "South Pacific" to "Moana?" 328 00:12:42,164 --> 00:12:44,501 Why would I do that? 329 00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,803 'Cause it's a child's party. 330 00:12:46,836 --> 00:12:49,205 I'm getting her flan! What more does she want? 331 00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:50,339 [Scoffs] 332 00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:56,246 You almost blew my shot at 500 bucks. 333 00:12:57,212 --> 00:12:58,981 Don't worry. 334 00:12:59,015 --> 00:13:01,550 I convinced the drama teacher to give you another chance. 335 00:13:04,986 --> 00:13:06,688 I'm about to say something, 336 00:13:06,722 --> 00:13:09,826 and if you tell anyone, I will deny it. 337 00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:12,661 But this is the truth. 338 00:13:12,694 --> 00:13:14,863 You're actually a talented singer. 339 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:16,999 - Really? - Yes. 340 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,902 And the reason why I'm pushing you so hard to audition 341 00:13:18,934 --> 00:13:21,069 is because I think joining the school musical 342 00:13:21,102 --> 00:13:22,170 would be good for you. 343 00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:24,540 It's not about the money anymore. 344 00:13:24,573 --> 00:13:26,742 It's about seeing you happy. 345 00:13:26,775 --> 00:13:28,645 You just need to get out of your own way 346 00:13:28,678 --> 00:13:30,313 and take a chance. 347 00:13:30,346 --> 00:13:31,548 Oliver Otto. 348 00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:38,087 I haven't liked you in, like, so long! 349 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,690 [Chuckles] 350 00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:44,827 I heard what you said, 351 00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:46,663 and I'm really, really impressed. 352 00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:48,498 I was just doing what my role model told me. 353 00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:49,832 I told you that? 354 00:13:49,865 --> 00:13:51,400 Seriously, I could just pinch your cheeks 355 00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:52,602 you're so cute right now. 356 00:13:54,437 --> 00:13:57,774 "If you get into trouble, say, 'If you tell anyone I said this, 357 00:13:57,807 --> 00:14:00,610 I will deny it, ' then pretend you're telling the truth." 358 00:14:00,643 --> 00:14:04,351 - [Chuckles] Johnny... Diamond. - Diamond, yeah. 359 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,350 [Tires screech] 360 00:14:07,382 --> 00:14:12,621 361 00:14:12,654 --> 00:14:18,627 362 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:19,728 Is Anna-Kat still... 363 00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:20,929 Not even close. 364 00:14:20,962 --> 00:14:22,598 She went to bed like an hour ago. 365 00:14:22,631 --> 00:14:23,765 Where were you? 366 00:14:23,799 --> 00:14:25,233 Watching Nancy's husband 367 00:14:25,266 --> 00:14:27,903 get piggyback-rides from potential waiters. 368 00:14:27,937 --> 00:14:30,472 How is everything going with joining a club? 369 00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:33,642 Don't worry. Since you're not here, Oliver's got it. 370 00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:35,811 Great. Oliver's a better mom than me. 371 00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:36,879 [Boom] 372 00:14:36,911 --> 00:14:38,682 [Boom] 373 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,399 What in the hell?! 374 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,387 - Greg! - GREG: Uh-oh. 375 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:48,134 You used up all my Tupperware. 376 00:14:48,159 --> 00:14:51,072 Wow, Anna-Kat's impression of you is uncanny. 377 00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:53,634 Slime is a banned substance in this house! 378 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,629 So is cashew cheese, soy cheese, 379 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,697 and any other cheese that's not cheese! 380 00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:01,000 [Scoffs] 381 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,370 And stop giving the dog the "she's the crazy person" look! 382 00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:09,561 Can I talk to you for a second? 383 00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,564 I'm busy doing the whiskey order for a 10-year-old's birthday. 384 00:15:12,598 --> 00:15:14,580 You asked me to handle the Anna-Kat situation, 385 00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:15,827 and that's what I did. 386 00:15:15,852 --> 00:15:18,709 By the way, the slime worked. She's way less anxious. 387 00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:19,824 She even packed herself a sensible lunch. 388 00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,692 - What was it? - A ziplock bag full of milk 389 00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:23,260 and three kiwis, but that's a win. 390 00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:25,036 Look, the slime may not be the way 391 00:15:25,061 --> 00:15:26,084 that you would've handled it, 392 00:15:26,109 --> 00:15:27,931 but that's the way I chose to do it. 393 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:30,553 Is it possible you're taking your frustration out on me 394 00:15:30,577 --> 00:15:31,912 because you've been missing Anna-Kat's bedtime? 395 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,867 Yes, Greg! You're my husband. That's the gig. 396 00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:37,636 Receiving misdirected anger and backing me up in public 397 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:39,909 even though I'm super, super wrong. 398 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,740 You know what's really frustrating? 399 00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:44,710 I'm spending all this time away from my kids 400 00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,379 to plan a birthday party that's making another kid miserable. 401 00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:51,551 Oh. This slime is so soft. 402 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,253 It feels wet, but it's not. 403 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,989 Hmm, so relaxing. 404 00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,658 Maybe I was wrong to ban slime. 405 00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:01,726 Cashew cheese can still go to hell. 406 00:16:01,759 --> 00:16:03,428 See? Doesn't slime make everything better? 407 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:09,000 408 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,437 It will. 409 00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,438 [Snorts] 410 00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:15,173 411 00:16:15,206 --> 00:16:16,842 That was glitter slime, 412 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,808 so this will make picking up poop a little more magical. 413 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:19,801 Mm. 414 00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:21,857 [Indistinct conversations] 415 00:16:21,882 --> 00:16:23,864 KATIE: I was hired to throw a kid's birthday party, 416 00:16:23,898 --> 00:16:25,966 so that's exactly what I'm doing. 417 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,203 [Gurgling] 418 00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:32,840 Because my job is to make sure the client is... 419 00:16:32,873 --> 00:16:35,376 [Laughter] 420 00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:36,610 ...happy. 421 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:38,311 [Indistinct conversations] 422 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,481 Hey, Katie, great party! 423 00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:43,717 - Katie? - Yeah? 424 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,052 What is this?! 425 00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:46,387 It's a slime party. 426 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,189 I leave for three hours 427 00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,357 to be fashionably late to my daughter's birthday party, 428 00:16:50,391 --> 00:16:51,659 and I come back to this?! 429 00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:54,995 Listen, I know I didn't execute your theme, 430 00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:57,965 but Becky is having the time of her life. 431 00:16:57,998 --> 00:17:00,068 Isn't that what's most important? 432 00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:04,205 I wanted a Nancy Colada! 433 00:17:04,237 --> 00:17:07,508 I am calling your boss and I am getting you fired! 434 00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:11,878 Marshall, you cut that out right now, 435 00:17:11,911 --> 00:17:14,181 or we're gonna do it later. 436 00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:15,716 No. 437 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,653 For my audition today, I'll be singing a song by Daniel Powter. 438 00:17:18,686 --> 00:17:20,521 439 00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:24,658 You stand in the line just to hit a new low 440 00:17:24,692 --> 00:17:27,195 441 00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:31,164 You're faking a smile with the coffee to go 442 00:17:31,197 --> 00:17:33,900 Go 443 00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:37,338 You found a new recipe online 444 00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:40,574 The grocery list includes limes 445 00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:44,579 You also need oregano-o-o 446 00:17:44,611 --> 00:17:45,779 Are those the lyrics? 447 00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:47,681 'Cause you ham and p?t? 448 00:17:47,715 --> 00:17:49,250 You cook until brown 449 00:17:49,282 --> 00:17:52,786 You make it long while wearing a gown 450 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:54,288 You say you won't taste 451 00:17:54,321 --> 00:17:56,124 You say you won't try 452 00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:59,060 You work a while then you smiggity-schmy 453 00:17:59,092 --> 00:18:00,762 - "Smiggity-schmy?" - Ham and p?t? 454 00:18:00,794 --> 00:18:02,729 We're eating cheese fries 455 00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:04,064 You're coming back down 456 00:18:04,098 --> 00:18:06,267 But you really don't mind 457 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,802 'Cause it's ham and p?t? 458 00:18:08,836 --> 00:18:11,873 Ham and p?t? 459 00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,407 Stop! Stop! Thank you, Taylor. 460 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:15,075 I've seen enough. 461 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,414 Taylor, it's "You had a bad day." 462 00:18:20,446 --> 00:18:22,250 What are you talking about? I did awesome! 463 00:18:22,282 --> 00:18:24,318 Hah! 464 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,553 Smiggity-schmy. 465 00:18:26,587 --> 00:18:28,180 I got a part in the "Little Shop of Horrors." 466 00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:29,462 Well, that's great, honey. Which one? 467 00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:32,259 I'm Bud Number Three on the man-eating plant. 468 00:18:32,284 --> 00:18:34,837 The drama teacher liked Taylor's performance, 469 00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,964 but since she confidently murders all lyrics, 470 00:18:36,996 --> 00:18:38,765 she gave her a part with the least responsibility. 471 00:18:38,799 --> 00:18:39,966 That's right! 472 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,903 Oh, and I'm meeting the cast after dinner. 473 00:18:41,936 --> 00:18:43,103 It's really funny. 474 00:18:43,137 --> 00:18:44,641 They have no idea they're losers. 475 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:45,883 Just because they're in the Drama Club 476 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,041 doesn't mean they're losers. 477 00:18:47,075 --> 00:18:48,477 That's what they keep saying! 478 00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:50,512 Well, will you look at that. 479 00:18:50,545 --> 00:18:53,047 Yes! Taylor made some new friends. 480 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,185 So "Pay up, sucker." Johnny Diamond. 481 00:18:56,217 --> 00:19:01,189 "I was never gonna pay you $500, dum-dum." Katie Otto. 482 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,224 But a deal's a deal. 483 00:19:03,258 --> 00:19:05,127 Johnny's seminars have tiered pricing. 484 00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:06,628 $500 is the Diamond Tier. 485 00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:08,364 That gets you a seat in the front row. 486 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,499 But $50 gets you in the Turquoise Tier. 487 00:19:10,531 --> 00:19:12,333 Turquoise? Seriously? 488 00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,168 Do I look like I'm selling trinkets 489 00:19:14,202 --> 00:19:15,704 on a blanket in Santa Fe? 490 00:19:15,736 --> 00:19:18,541 You get to watch a live feed of the seminar from the lobby. 491 00:19:18,573 --> 00:19:19,675 Take it or leave it. 492 00:19:19,707 --> 00:19:22,076 [Sighs] 493 00:19:22,109 --> 00:19:24,512 Fine. 494 00:19:24,545 --> 00:19:27,248 But when the time comes, just know I'm only paying 495 00:19:27,281 --> 00:19:29,251 for a Turquoise Tier retirement home. 496 00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:32,021 [Cellphone ringing] 497 00:19:32,053 --> 00:19:33,187 This is it. 498 00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:34,990 This is my boss. 499 00:19:35,022 --> 00:19:36,425 I'm getting fired. 500 00:19:36,457 --> 00:19:38,493 Hey, Whitney. 501 00:19:38,527 --> 00:19:41,640 WHITNEY: I just had a very long talk with Nancy Granville. 502 00:19:41,665 --> 00:19:42,764 Thought you might. 503 00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:44,532 She hated the party you threw, 504 00:19:44,566 --> 00:19:47,002 but some of the other parents were so impressed 505 00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:49,370 with your slime theme that they hired us. 506 00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:50,839 We got four more parties. 507 00:19:50,871 --> 00:19:52,540 Does this mean I'm not fired? 508 00:19:52,565 --> 00:19:53,854 You're not fired. 509 00:19:53,879 --> 00:19:57,579 And, in fact, you'll probably end up working even more. 510 00:19:57,612 --> 00:20:00,215 What's the matter, Katie? You look conflicted. 511 00:20:01,282 --> 00:20:03,284 I'm just kidding. 512 00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:05,287 Lovely top, by the way. 513 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,522 Kidding! 514 00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:07,722 Am I? 515 00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:10,725 So? How'd it go? 516 00:20:10,759 --> 00:20:13,628 - Still have my job. - That's great, honey. 517 00:20:13,662 --> 00:20:14,730 Is it? 518 00:20:14,762 --> 00:20:16,031 I don't know. 519 00:20:16,063 --> 00:20:17,465 What? I thought you liked working. 520 00:20:17,499 --> 00:20:19,435 I do. I love it. 521 00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:20,735 But I just feel guilty 522 00:20:20,769 --> 00:20:22,805 for spending time away from you guys. 523 00:20:22,838 --> 00:20:25,040 And I don't like missing your bedtime. 524 00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:26,941 I feel like me taking this job 525 00:20:26,974 --> 00:20:30,411 has really disrupted your routine and it stresses you out. 526 00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:32,647 Mama, keep the job. 527 00:20:32,681 --> 00:20:34,750 Daddy's doing great. 528 00:20:34,782 --> 00:20:35,783 Let's face it. 529 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,820 It's always gonna be something with me. 530 00:20:37,852 --> 00:20:39,725 She's gonna live with you forever. 531 00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,452 Yeah, me too, probably. 532 00:20:41,477 --> 00:20:42,946 [Laughs nervously] 533 00:20:45,751 --> 00:20:47,225 "Once upon a time... 534 00:20:47,258 --> 00:20:51,563 there were three sisters named Kim, Kourtney, and Khlo?." 535 00:20:51,596 --> 00:20:53,131 That's what you guys read together? 536 00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:55,066 Of course. Why? 537 00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,782 What do you read to her when I'm working late? 538 00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:57,807 Books! 539 00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:59,043 Pass! 540 00:20:59,076 --> 00:21:00,710 I'll stick to the classics. 541 00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:03,146 What happened to the sisters, Mama? 542 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:06,717 Well, each sister met the man of their dreams 543 00:21:06,749 --> 00:21:10,287 and slowly destroyed them bit by bit. 544 00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:13,523 Dad, can you check under my bed for Kardashians? 545 00:21:13,548 --> 00:21:15,312 Mama's got you, baby. 546 00:21:15,336 --> 00:21:18,136 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 547 00:21:18,186 --> 00:21:22,736 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39359

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