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1
00:00:02,492 --> 00:00:05,093
Ohh! A brain freeze before 8:00 a.m.
2
00:00:05,195 --> 00:00:06,761
This is living. [Chuckles]
3
00:00:06,863 --> 00:00:08,808
So, we're just having ice cream
for breakfast?
4
00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:10,265
- Really?
- Uh, uh, uh.
5
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:11,753
You said in the week
leading up to the Gala,
6
00:00:11,786 --> 00:00:12,918
you were gonna have your hands full.
7
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,464
So your instructions were to...
8
00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:16,848
- Oliver?
- As Mom said... and I quote...
9
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,538
"Pretend I ran off to Mexico
with a guy named Enrique.
10
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,984
You're now a single father
with three kids.
11
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,099
Parent as you will."
12
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,694
That was taken out of context.
13
00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,783
You're right. The context was,
14
00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:28,051
"Parent as you will.
15
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,087
And, Oliver, if you don't stop
writing this down,
16
00:00:30,189 --> 00:00:31,688
I will stab that pen in your eye."
17
00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:34,502
See? Now we see the full
picture. But can I just say...
18
00:00:34,557 --> 00:00:36,291
There also was a no-comment clause.
19
00:00:36,378 --> 00:00:37,710
Fine.
20
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:39,890
I won't comment on things...
21
00:00:39,992 --> 00:00:42,167
things like Anna-Kat not making her bed,
22
00:00:42,222 --> 00:00:43,855
Taylor coming in past curfew,
23
00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:45,524
and Oliver heading to ballet practice
24
00:00:45,592 --> 00:00:46,858
in his good recital leotard.
25
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,893
Boys will be boys.
26
00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:49,361
You know what? Be fun all you want.
27
00:00:49,429 --> 00:00:51,630
I'm not gonna let your happiness
get me down.
28
00:00:51,732 --> 00:00:53,231
You know, for the Gala being
tomorrow, you seem relaxed.
29
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:54,833
That's because everything is in order.
30
00:00:54,902 --> 00:00:56,768
All I have to do is
drop off the fliers at school
31
00:00:56,837 --> 00:00:58,875
to remind people to dress in Indian garb
32
00:00:58,953 --> 00:01:00,238
for the big Bollywood party.
33
00:01:00,307 --> 00:01:02,391
I'm heading out.
Do you want me to take the kids?
34
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,938
No, thanks. I'm bringing them in late
35
00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:06,715
just to add a little fun
to Fun Dad Friday.
36
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,184
Hmm.
37
00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:10,798
Head shakes are also commenting!
38
00:01:10,915 --> 00:01:12,288
Dad, let's blow off school
39
00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:14,123
and go visit Hans Gruber at the farm!
40
00:01:14,192 --> 00:01:15,491
That would be classic Fun Dad.
41
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,459
Guys, that may be taking this too far.
42
00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:20,171
Remember three seconds ago
when Dad was awesome?
43
00:01:20,266 --> 00:01:23,167
Hey, Boring Dad, where's your
shawl-collared sweater?
44
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,451
[Dialing]
45
00:01:26,559 --> 00:01:28,893
Grant, cancel my office hours.
46
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,245
We're going to a farm.
47
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,457
[All cheering]
48
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,448
This must be how Kenny G feels
when he steps out onstage.
49
00:01:35,535 --> 00:01:38,393
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:44,542
?
51
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,877
KATIE: Hi, Principal Ablin.
52
00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:47,412
I hope you've got your sari ready
53
00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:48,880
for the Gala tomorrow night.
54
00:01:48,982 --> 00:01:51,909
Actually, traditional Indian
attire for men isn't a sari.
55
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,033
It's called a kurta.
56
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,253
I have one in beautiful magenta silk
57
00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:58,156
that I picked up when I lived in
an ashram outside of Varanasi.
58
00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,693
I was wracked with dysentery
the entire time.
59
00:02:00,771 --> 00:02:03,662
Bright side...
got down to my Speedo weight.
60
00:02:03,764 --> 00:02:05,497
CHLOE: So, there's Penny's classroom.
61
00:02:05,599 --> 00:02:07,799
Now, get in there and make
some crafts with the kids.
62
00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:09,034
I still don't understand this.
63
00:02:09,136 --> 00:02:10,969
You're room mother. Penny is your kid.
64
00:02:11,071 --> 00:02:12,070
Why am I doing this?
65
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,239
Because you work for me, you're crafty,
66
00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:15,940
and you don't have to worry
about ruining your clothes
67
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:16,966
'cause they're so terrible.
68
00:02:17,077 --> 00:02:19,210
So, get in there. Bye!
69
00:02:19,312 --> 00:02:20,812
I called the Chamber of Commerce,
70
00:02:20,914 --> 00:02:22,747
and they said you're paying me
below minimum wage.
71
00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:25,016
And I called the Chamber
of Doughy, Pale Bodies,
72
00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:26,384
and they said you're their president.
73
00:02:26,486 --> 00:02:28,486
Now get in there and delight
my daughter's class!
74
00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:30,889
Delight them! Get in there!
75
00:02:30,991 --> 00:02:32,157
Hey.
76
00:02:32,259 --> 00:02:34,426
God, managing the help is so exhausting.
77
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:35,894
Uhh, tell me about it.
78
00:02:35,996 --> 00:02:38,496
I'm going on vacation next week,
and my packer's appendix burst.
79
00:02:38,598 --> 00:02:40,365
It's like, "Do it on your own time."
80
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,350
- Yeah.
- So, Katie,
81
00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:44,035
tomorrow's the big night!
82
00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:45,377
- Are you ready?
- Yep.
83
00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,838
I've got it all handled...
84
00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:48,473
the food, the music, the flowers,
85
00:02:48,575 --> 00:02:50,942
the magic, the mystery, the dance.
86
00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:52,911
Do you know who else thought
she had everything handled?
87
00:02:53,013 --> 00:02:55,680
Last year's Gala chairperson...
Stacy Clouser.
88
00:02:55,782 --> 00:02:58,083
Where are all my shrimp?! [Panting]
89
00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:00,552
I ordered 6,000 shrimp!
90
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:02,167
Stacy, are you okay?
91
00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,761
I'm fine. So fine.
92
00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:05,557
They're probably just buried
under the ice.
93
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:08,190
Ice. No, no, no!
94
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:10,227
Oh, my God! This can't be happening!
95
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,997
Which one of you shrimp-stealers
stole my shrimp?!
96
00:03:13,099 --> 00:03:14,398
- [Laughs]
- Open your purses!
97
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,434
I said open them!
98
00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:19,103
Well, you don't need to worry about me.
99
00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:21,361
My Gala is gonna be amazing.
100
00:03:21,429 --> 00:03:23,696
I even got television's Nathan Fillion
101
00:03:23,764 --> 00:03:27,209
riding in on an elephant,
surrounded by Bollywood dancers.
102
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:31,209
But do you want to know what
the best part is going to be?
103
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,493
Uh, it all falling apart
and you being shunned?
104
00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:36,188
Ooh! A shunning!
I do love a good shunning.
105
00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:38,067
You know, public shamings
are more my thing,
106
00:03:38,169 --> 00:03:39,068
but shunnings are nice.
107
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,202
[Katie chuckles] No.
108
00:03:40,305 --> 00:03:43,272
The best part is going to
be the look on your sad,
109
00:03:43,374 --> 00:03:46,489
gross faces when I Slumdog
this millionaire!
110
00:03:47,378 --> 00:03:48,578
That actually didn't make sense.
111
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,247
Oh, I am so proud of you, Katie!
112
00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:52,949
I mean, honestly, I was a little worried
113
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,250
that maybe you took on too much,
114
00:03:54,352 --> 00:03:57,086
but, ohh, you're gonna be
the toast of the town!
115
00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:58,588
Or just toast.
116
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,222
Your Gala's gonna suck.
117
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,313
[Laughter]
118
00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:03,859
Just so you know,
this is why your husbands
119
00:04:03,962 --> 00:04:05,194
don't have sex with you.
120
00:04:05,528 --> 00:04:06,727
Huh.
121
00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:08,469
?
122
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,559
Everything will be set up
tomorrow morning...
123
00:04:10,637 --> 00:04:12,887
the tables, the stage goes over there,
124
00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,458
the champagne fountain goes there,
125
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:15,838
and this is where I stand,
126
00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:18,228
receiving praise
from all the other housewives.
127
00:04:18,331 --> 00:04:20,464
I plan on saying "Suck it!" a lot.
128
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:21,859
I will not be gracious.
129
00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,922
Well, are you sure
Nathan Fillion is gonna show?
130
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,820
Because those "suck its"
aren't gonna land
131
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:27,703
unless you have him
riding in on an elephant.
132
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,567
Yes. He gave me his word.
133
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,508
And, more importantly, there was a sign.
134
00:04:31,598 --> 00:04:34,044
He opened a box of animal crackers,
and it was all elephants.
135
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:36,513
- That doesn't just happen.
- Yes, it does, because it did.
136
00:04:36,615 --> 00:04:38,253
And he's as bonkers as you are.
137
00:04:38,347 --> 00:04:40,184
[Ringtone plays]
138
00:04:40,286 --> 00:04:41,285
Hello?
139
00:04:41,387 --> 00:04:42,419
Beware.
140
00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:43,987
They're out to get you.
141
00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:45,422
Who's this?
142
00:04:45,524 --> 00:04:48,883
My name is Stacy Clouser.
143
00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:50,954
They're out to get you.
144
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,746
Who's out to get me?
145
00:04:52,832 --> 00:04:54,698
Them.
146
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,400
- [Line disconnects]
- Hello?
147
00:04:56,502 --> 00:04:57,835
[Beeping]
148
00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:02,231
That was Stacy Clouser.
She said they're out to get me.
149
00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:04,786
It could be a sign... a bad sign.
150
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,254
Can phone calls be signs?
151
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,422
Of course they can.
152
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,591
- [Ringtone plays]
- Doris, I know it's you.
153
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:10,763
Just answer it.
154
00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:12,060
No. You're just gonna make fun of me.
155
00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:13,997
Come on. It could be important.
156
00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:16,157
Hi, Angela. It's Doris.
157
00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:18,026
You're a nutjob!
158
00:05:18,128 --> 00:05:19,227
Bye!
159
00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:20,328
[Cellphone chimes]
160
00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:22,347
You got a message. You should check it.
161
00:05:22,425 --> 00:05:24,266
?
162
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:25,700
Hans Gruber looks happy.
163
00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:29,137
I wonder if he can talk to the
other animals, like in "Babe."
164
00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:31,692
What am I saying? Of course he can!
165
00:05:31,763 --> 00:05:33,396
Professor Otto!
166
00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:34,520
Grant, what are you doing here?
167
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,731
You're supposed to be at the university.
168
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,633
I'm your assistant. I'm here to assist.
169
00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:38,801
How did you even find me?
170
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,836
I placed a Tile device in your wallet.
171
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,371
I need to know where you are.
172
00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:43,939
That is very unsettling.
173
00:05:44,008 --> 00:05:45,559
That doesn't sound like a "stop it"!
174
00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:48,577
Oh! Hey, look, a camel!
175
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,581
My dad had a pet camel
when I was growing up in India.
176
00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:54,363
You remind me of sweet Pepito.
177
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,769
Dad, can we have a pet camel?
178
00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:58,859
No. I'm sure he came to
the animal sanctuary
179
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,139
because he's not supposed to be a pet.
180
00:06:00,231 --> 00:06:02,098
Just like Hans Gruber's
not supposed to be a pet.
181
00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:05,205
I understand. It's not like a dog.
182
00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:07,069
That's right. A dog is
a whole different story.
183
00:06:07,171 --> 00:06:09,378
- [Gasps] Look, a dog!
- [Barks]
184
00:06:12,677 --> 00:06:13,809
Can we have him?
185
00:06:13,911 --> 00:06:15,678
A golden retriever is a pet!
186
00:06:15,746 --> 00:06:18,416
Come on, Dad. We could use
a smart blonde in the family.
187
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,260
No. We cannot bring home a dog.
188
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,217
It's not even ours.
Who says it's even a rescue?
189
00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:25,587
I do. You want the dog?
His name is Luthor.
190
00:06:25,690 --> 00:06:26,834
ALL: Please!
191
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,357
Please!
192
00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:30,897
You're wasting your breath. No dog.
193
00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:33,732
[Crying] I already love him so much!
194
00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:35,610
- [Crying]
- [Horn honks]
195
00:06:35,712 --> 00:06:36,911
That's Mom's car.
196
00:06:37,013 --> 00:06:38,346
We got to keep Luthor out of sight
197
00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:40,823
until we make sure she's in
a dog-receptive state of mind.
198
00:06:40,924 --> 00:06:42,750
Fun Dad is no match for Mad Mom.
199
00:06:42,852 --> 00:06:43,951
Come on.
200
00:06:46,956 --> 00:06:50,175
Tomorrow night calls for clear
skies and multiple "suck its."
201
00:06:50,261 --> 00:06:51,659
[Chuckles] Great.
202
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:53,503
Seems like you could take on
anything right now.
203
00:06:53,574 --> 00:06:55,608
Yeah. I'm crushing it as Gala chair.
204
00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:57,977
[Ringtone plays]
205
00:06:58,079 --> 00:07:00,079
Principal Ablin, holla!
206
00:07:03,451 --> 00:07:05,684
Come on. She's in a perfect
dog mood. She said "holla."
207
00:07:05,786 --> 00:07:09,522
What?! Who says I can't use an
elephant for domestic purposes?
208
00:07:09,624 --> 00:07:13,325
Well, who the hell told PETA about it?
209
00:07:13,427 --> 00:07:16,962
The Gala is tomorrow, and you're
telling me I have no elephant?!
210
00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:18,164
Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted.
211
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:21,066
?
212
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,425
Come on.
213
00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:26,005
?
214
00:07:29,815 --> 00:07:31,782
[Sighs]
215
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,418
It's a Bollywood event,
and I lost my elephant.
216
00:07:34,489 --> 00:07:36,623
The only reason Nathan agreed to do this
217
00:07:36,692 --> 00:07:38,458
was because elephants were a sign.
218
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,493
All right, calm down.
We'll figure it out.
219
00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:42,662
I'm sure there are other things
in India that people ride...
220
00:07:42,764 --> 00:07:43,797
camels, for instance.
221
00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,999
Camels weren't a part of the sign, Greg.
222
00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:47,780
Maybe he did have a sign
with camels. You don't know.
223
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,034
The Gala is tomorrow night.
224
00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:50,703
Where in the world would I get a camel?
225
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:51,770
I can get you a camel.
226
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,912
You? You can get a camel?
227
00:07:54,008 --> 00:07:55,908
I have some mysteries up my sleeve.
228
00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,776
You think you know everything
about me, but...
229
00:07:57,879 --> 00:08:00,123
Is it the farm where we
dropped off Hans Gruber?
230
00:08:01,616 --> 00:08:02,414
Yes.
231
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,817
?
232
00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:06,308
Hey, Nathan!
233
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,409
Hey, Katie.
234
00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:09,036
I'm getting fitted
for my kurta right now.
235
00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:11,938
Looking good! So, I had a thought.
236
00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:15,309
Instead of an elephant, which is
always rampaging and stuff,
237
00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:18,612
how about a nice, reliable,
friendly camel?
238
00:08:19,089 --> 00:08:20,388
Stop pinning.
239
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,856
The sign was elephants.
240
00:08:21,924 --> 00:08:24,043
I mean, Katie, I'm not stupid.
241
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,403
The only reason I'm doing this
242
00:08:25,481 --> 00:08:27,181
is because the box of cookies
told me to do it.
243
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,909
[Sighs]
244
00:08:30,846 --> 00:08:32,179
KATIE: Oh, my God. That's it!
245
00:08:33,682 --> 00:08:35,949
No problem. Elephant it is.
246
00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:38,049
Trunk, big ears, the whole thing.
247
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,043
Keep pinning!
248
00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:42,939
?
249
00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:46,009
See? It's about a monkey
who wants to be a toucan,
250
00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:48,914
so he made himself a colorful
beak and cut off his tail.
251
00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:50,351
I think it's supposed to be
252
00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:52,720
about accepting people
who are transitioning.
253
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:55,290
I don't know what Chloe's told
you, but I was born a woman.
254
00:08:55,392 --> 00:08:56,724
That's not it.
255
00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:59,360
I called you over because I know
how good you are with crafts.
256
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:04,397
So, could you make me a trunk
and ears that fits on a camel
257
00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:06,139
so it looks like an elephant?
258
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,510
I could, but Chloe would be so mad
259
00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,171
if she found out I helped you.
260
00:09:10,273 --> 00:09:11,639
- Mm.
- I'm in.
261
00:09:11,707 --> 00:09:13,741
And make sure to tell her it was me.
262
00:09:13,843 --> 00:09:15,676
Actually, don't. She scares me.
263
00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:17,311
I was brave for a second.
264
00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:21,382
?
265
00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:23,467
CHLOE: Oh. Hi, Katie!
266
00:09:23,532 --> 00:09:25,532
We were just talking
about you behind your back.
267
00:09:25,635 --> 00:09:26,867
[Light laughter]
268
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:28,669
I wasn't.
269
00:09:28,771 --> 00:09:30,905
Well, sometimes I nod along,
270
00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:32,769
but otherwise, no one
would hang out with me.
271
00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:34,050
It's okay, Suzanne.
272
00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:37,044
I know you have a good heart...
273
00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:38,942
unlike you three [bleep].
274
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,168
[All gasp]
275
00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:42,370
That's the worst possible word
you could use!
276
00:09:42,439 --> 00:09:43,538
Well, now, it's my favorite word.
277
00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:44,673
Katie, why are you even here?
278
00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:47,342
To let you know
your little plan to call PETA
279
00:09:47,411 --> 00:09:51,213
to screw up Castle riding in
on an elephant isn't gonna work.
280
00:09:51,281 --> 00:09:53,648
- Anyone know what she's talking about?
- No clue.
281
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:56,311
I'm still processing what she called us.
I mean, there's a line.
282
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:57,354
Oh, save it.
283
00:09:57,457 --> 00:09:59,423
I know one of you is "them."
284
00:09:59,525 --> 00:10:00,970
[Chuckles] Guys, check it out.
285
00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:03,294
She's starting to go
full-on Stacy Clouser.
286
00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,229
- [Laughter]
- She's Clousin' out!
287
00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:06,697
One ticket to Clouse town!
288
00:10:06,799 --> 00:10:08,165
Send in the Clouse!
289
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,333
Clousin' time!
290
00:10:09,435 --> 00:10:11,101
No, Nancy. No.
291
00:10:11,204 --> 00:10:12,737
I am not Stacy Clouser!
292
00:10:12,838 --> 00:10:14,071
I am Katie Otto,
293
00:10:14,173 --> 00:10:15,542
and you might as well give it up,
294
00:10:15,604 --> 00:10:17,948
because my Gala is gonna rule.
295
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,053
[Chuckles]
296
00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:20,114
So long [bleep].
297
00:10:20,192 --> 00:10:21,158
[All gasp]
298
00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:25,162
?
299
00:10:25,264 --> 00:10:26,797
[Gasps]
300
00:10:26,865 --> 00:10:28,465
I worked all night on this
so you'd have it in time
301
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:29,800
for the Gala this evening.
302
00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:32,027
Burned myself a few times
with the hot-glue gun.
303
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,598
It was nice to feel something.
304
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,939
Maria! This is amazing!
305
00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,374
You're right.
I never should have bothered.
306
00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:38,842
No! I love it!
307
00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:40,508
Exactly. I do suck.
308
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:44,020
You really think
Nathan Fillion will go for it?
309
00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:45,863
I mean, he is gonna notice
it's a dressed-up camel.
310
00:10:45,965 --> 00:10:47,865
Greg, he played a detective on TV.
311
00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:49,289
He's not one in real life.
312
00:10:49,992 --> 00:10:51,635
- So, you're in a good place?
- Yeah.
313
00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:53,093
Great. I'm gonna go get the kids.
314
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,507
- Why?
- You'll see.
315
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,314
[Ringtone plays]
316
00:10:56,383 --> 00:10:58,650
Hey, Doris. What's happening
at the Carson House?
317
00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:01,819
There is nothing happening.
Nothing's been set up.
318
00:11:01,898 --> 00:11:04,332
Nothing has even been delivered!
319
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:05,900
What are you talking about?
320
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,269
Everything was supposed to be
dropped off this morning.
321
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:11,539
I know. That's why I called
your vendors and the caterers,
322
00:11:11,608 --> 00:11:14,214
and everyone said you canceled
everything last week.
323
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,070
But I didn't cancel anything.
324
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:19,848
Those dirty, little...
325
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,446
Katie, I know you're upset,
326
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,010
but it's never okay to use that word.
327
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:25,255
Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted. Go!
328
00:11:25,358 --> 00:11:32,162
?
329
00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:33,530
[Katie sighs]
330
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,233
They did it, Greg. They beat me.
331
00:11:40,288 --> 00:11:42,154
They canceled my caterer, the dancers,
332
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,990
my champagne fountain, everything.
333
00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:45,591
People are going to show up,
334
00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:48,861
and there's literally
going to be nothing there.
335
00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:51,764
The Gala's ruined. So am I.
336
00:11:51,866 --> 00:11:53,699
I'm done in this town.
337
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,546
And we're gonna have to
move out of Westport.
338
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,113
- We won't have to move.
- You're right. It's my shame.
339
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,354
You and the kids stay.
I'll go to Mexico with Enrique.
340
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,276
Hey! Pull it together!
341
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,612
You are Katie Otto.
342
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:05,714
You have stood up for the
downtrodden, the poorly dressed,
343
00:12:05,816 --> 00:12:07,749
the larger gals,
the people who don't believe
344
00:12:07,818 --> 00:12:09,217
opening a bag of peanuts on an airplane
345
00:12:09,319 --> 00:12:11,353
can really get someone sick
10 rows away.
346
00:12:11,455 --> 00:12:12,721
How did this happen?!
347
00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:15,023
The woman who criticized all
the busybodies in this town...
348
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,626
with their hysterics and their events
349
00:12:17,728 --> 00:12:19,260
and their wastes of feminine energy...
350
00:12:19,329 --> 00:12:21,200
is defeated, curled up
351
00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:22,997
because she can't get
her champagne fountain!
352
00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,167
Why are you yelling at me?
353
00:12:24,269 --> 00:12:25,502
Because you're trying to throw this Gala
354
00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:28,138
the Westport housewife way,
not the Katie Otto way.
355
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,473
My Katie Otto
would never let those bitches
356
00:12:30,576 --> 00:12:31,641
get the better of her.
357
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,610
That's right. I threw down the B-word.
358
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,278
This isn't the woman I married.
359
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,180
The woman I married wouldn't give up.
360
00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:38,351
You know what she would do?
361
00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:39,472
What would she do?
362
00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,874
She would get off that couch
and figure out a way
363
00:12:41,977 --> 00:12:44,043
to throw the Gala her way,
not their way.
364
00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:47,246
But how am I going to put together
an entire Gala in eight hours?
365
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,825
- With me.
- With us.
366
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,895
We've got your back.
367
00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:51,379
Ottos never quit!
368
00:12:58,159 --> 00:13:00,593
I threw Karen Nelson's
hysterectomy party together
369
00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:02,328
in minutes... 150 guests.
370
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:05,365
I made that papier-m�ch�
"Adios to your uterus" pi�ata
371
00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:06,966
moments before the guests arrived.
372
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:07,967
That's right, you did.
373
00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:09,002
I can do this!
374
00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:10,596
Damn straight you can!
375
00:13:10,684 --> 00:13:11,711
So, you're in a good place?
376
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:14,002
Yeah. I'm in a great place.
377
00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:16,711
Good, 'cause we got a dog.
378
00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:18,911
?
379
00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:23,432
Okay, people, we've got five
hours to transform this place
380
00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:25,049
into a Bollywood extravaganza.
381
00:13:25,089 --> 00:13:26,916
Doris, I need you to go
to the outlet store
382
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:28,822
and get as many candles,
rugs, and throw pillows
383
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,107
- as you can.
- Outlet store?!
384
00:13:31,176 --> 00:13:32,725
Fine. I'll do it because we're friends.
385
00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:34,243
But I am paying full price!
386
00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:35,778
KATIE: We need decorations
that are on-theme.
387
00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:37,513
Angela, can we borrow
some of the Buddhist stuff
388
00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:38,514
that you have at your house?
389
00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:40,383
Greg, you and the recycling committee,
390
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,070
go pick up the Buddha, string lights,
391
00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:43,828
and then get started
cleaning out the trash cans
392
00:13:43,905 --> 00:13:45,073
for the trash-can punch.
393
00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:46,469
Okay, we need dancers.
394
00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:47,969
I'll ask my ballet class to help.
395
00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:49,357
Great! Okay, let me see what else.
396
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,125
Uh, I don't know, Mom. Food?
397
00:13:51,159 --> 00:13:52,827
Right. Forgot about that.
398
00:13:52,861 --> 00:13:54,663
Does anyone know where
we could get Indian food
399
00:13:54,696 --> 00:13:56,565
for 200 people by 4:00 today?
400
00:13:56,597 --> 00:13:58,232
I have an idea! [Chuckles]
401
00:13:58,265 --> 00:14:00,235
Grant! I took the Tile out of my wallet.
402
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:01,228
How did you find me?
403
00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:02,559
I followed you home from the farm,
404
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,293
broke into your car,
and hid in your trunk...
405
00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:05,561
like any good assistant would.
406
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,963
Let's blow past how creepy that was
407
00:14:06,995 --> 00:14:08,430
and focus on how you can help me.
408
00:14:08,464 --> 00:14:10,433
My uncle owns an Indian
food-truck business.
409
00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:11,868
I can ask if he knows someone.
410
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:13,069
How about your uncle?
411
00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:14,403
Oh, yeah! I can make that happen!
412
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,938
Grant, I love you!
413
00:14:15,971 --> 00:14:17,406
And I love your husband!
414
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,441
What do you say, people?!
Let's do this thing!
415
00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:20,442
- All right!
- Yeah!
416
00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:21,543
- Come on, guys.
- Whoo!
417
00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:24,480
Oh... my God, Katie.
418
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,215
Last year, it was just
the shrimp that ran out,
419
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:27,917
but you don't have anything.
420
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,753
The Gala is five hours away,
421
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,489
and you have nothing but an empty tent.
422
00:14:32,522 --> 00:14:33,757
I'm gonna be the first one here
423
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,158
so I can watch you crash and burn.
424
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,727
So you just happened to be strolling by
425
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,897
moments after the Gala fell apart?
426
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:46,169
Stupid Tara... unlike your
husband, I'm all over you.
427
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:52,341
[Dialing]
428
00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:54,643
Stacy? It's Katie Otto.
429
00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:56,779
I'm calling to tell you
that you were right.
430
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,282
Someone is messing with my Gala,
431
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,017
and they messed with yours, too.
432
00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,285
I knew it!
433
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,420
Someone canceled your shrimp order.
434
00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:06,623
Ugh! Damn right they did!
435
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,858
Not "they." She.
436
00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,092
Tara Summers.
437
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,927
Tara Summers?
438
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,863
Tara Summers!
439
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,197
Which one is Tara Summers?
440
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:16,932
Blonde-ish. Smells like tofu.
441
00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:18,234
Tara Summers!
442
00:15:19,469 --> 00:15:20,436
[Beeps]
443
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:22,339
You see, Marmalade?
444
00:15:22,372 --> 00:15:24,174
I am not crazy.
445
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:25,941
Okay, guys, in the tent by the table.
446
00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:29,012
??
447
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,280
Come on, just like Rajnee
showed us on YouTube.
448
00:15:31,313 --> 00:15:33,182
Screw in the light bulb.
449
00:15:33,215 --> 00:15:34,484
Screw in the light bulb.
450
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:42,124
??
451
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:49,733
??
452
00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:52,668
I said just a splash, Maria! Ugh!
453
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,470
Those tulips aren't you
and your gal pals
454
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:56,138
at Bennigan's for happy hour!
455
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,340
[Laughs] Nailed it!
456
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:03,580
??
457
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:08,685
??
458
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,085
Now, pet the dog.
459
00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:11,488
Pet the dog.
460
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:19,395
??
461
00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:21,196
Oh, my God. This is so good.
462
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,334
Mmm! I know. Ooh!
463
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:26,835
I'm gonna get all "lose my shoes,
tell my kids I love 'em" drunk.
464
00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:27,870
[Laughs]
465
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,873
??
466
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:30,940
[Horn honks]
467
00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:32,175
Hey!
468
00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,175
[Laughs]
469
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:37,380
??
470
00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:39,448
[Smooches]
471
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:40,449
Thank you!
472
00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:41,451
I love your husband.
473
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:42,852
I know.
474
00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:46,889
[Bollywood-themed music plays]
475
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,057
I was wracked with dysentery
the whole time,
476
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:52,796
but bright side...
I got down to my Speedo weight.
477
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,063
Oh.
478
00:16:54,095 --> 00:16:55,432
This is so good.
479
00:16:55,465 --> 00:16:58,201
From now on, I'm only drinking
out of garbage cans.
480
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,602
[Laughter]
481
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:01,069
I can't believe this all came together.
482
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,039
- Mm-hmm.
- I am so proud of you.
483
00:17:03,071 --> 00:17:04,774
You know, one thing I will
give to you poors...
484
00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:06,576
you are resourceful.
485
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,778
Well, stupid, stupid Tara,
486
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:13,082
even with you doing all that you
could do to sabotage my Gala,
487
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:15,418
I still pulled it off.
488
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,386
Katie, I honestly have no idea
what you're talking...
489
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,922
[Stacy screams]
490
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,122
[Both grunting]
491
00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:22,090
I knew I ordered enough shrimp!
492
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,960
Get... [Grunts]
493
00:17:23,992 --> 00:17:25,828
Get her off me!
494
00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:27,330
You ruined my life!
495
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:28,998
Everyone thought I was crazy!
496
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:31,467
Well, I'm not crazy!
497
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,735
You did this to me!
498
00:17:33,768 --> 00:17:35,637
Help me! Help me!
499
00:17:35,671 --> 00:17:36,779
Let 'em go.
500
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,708
Katie, I hate to admit it,
but this Gala is amazing.
501
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:43,613
I mean, best ever.
502
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,080
Thank you so much.
503
00:17:45,114 --> 00:17:48,207
And, ladies, I mean this
from the bottom of my heart...
504
00:17:48,232 --> 00:17:50,053
- Aww.
- Suck it!
505
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,457
[Breathing heavily]
506
00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:58,661
Clouser's back! [Grunts]
507
00:17:58,693 --> 00:18:01,096
- She is the best!
- I've always liked her.
508
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:02,765
It wasn't me!
509
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:03,967
Yeah, right.
510
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:05,868
If it wasn't you, then who?
511
00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:07,604
I don't know.
512
00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:10,606
SUZANNE: Why do I sabotage
the Gala every year?
513
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,542
Is it because chaos turns me on?
514
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:15,378
Or maybe these Mexican diet
pills are making me psychotic.
515
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:16,813
Katie!
516
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,315
This punch is so yummy!
517
00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:21,508
Suzanne, you're the best.
518
00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:26,055
[Bollywood-themed music plays]
519
00:18:26,087 --> 00:18:27,824
[Camel grunts]
520
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:34,963
??
521
00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:44,474
??
522
00:18:44,507 --> 00:18:47,310
CHLOE: Oh, my gosh.
It really is Nathan Fillion.
523
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:51,214
And he's riding on a...
What the hell is that?
524
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:53,950
I'm at a Gala in Westport riding a camel
525
00:18:53,975 --> 00:18:57,145
disguised as an elephant,
and I've never felt more alive!
526
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:58,947
[All cheering]
527
00:18:58,979 --> 00:19:00,748
How did you know he'd go for
the camel-elephant?
528
00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:02,417
Well, Anna-Kat and I prepared
him a little snack
529
00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:03,951
when he stopped by before the Gala.
530
00:19:03,985 --> 00:19:05,887
Elephant.
531
00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,024
Camel.
532
00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:12,994
It's all elephants and camels.
533
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,263
It's another sign.
534
00:19:15,295 --> 00:19:16,864
Cookies, you've done it again.
535
00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:20,765
You did it.
536
00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,606
I did do it.
537
00:19:24,639 --> 00:19:26,707
I thought you'd say,
"We did it," but all right.
538
00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:29,356
How about this... I did it,
539
00:19:29,395 --> 00:19:31,204
but I couldn't have done it without you.
540
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,140
Better.
541
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,909
[Music continues]
542
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,745
??
543
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,145
[All cheering]
544
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:48,288
??
545
00:19:48,322 --> 00:19:57,430
??
546
00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:06,506
??
547
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:15,482
??
548
00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:20,820
- A-mark.
- Oh, my God!
549
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,856
I feel like my eyes are dry-heaving!
550
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,101
What? We're just showing
that we like each other.
551
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:26,247
[Laughs]
552
00:20:26,279 --> 00:20:28,915
Yeah. D really laid it on me!
553
00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:31,285
[Laughter]
554
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,686
I couldn't breathe!
555
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,322
[Laughter]
556
00:20:34,355 --> 00:20:35,522
All right, I don't use it very much,
557
00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:37,491
but I'm kind of fond of it, so...
558
00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:38,759
there we go.
559
00:20:38,791 --> 00:20:40,794
[Classical music plays]
560
00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:44,164
??
561
00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:45,967
MAN: Action.
562
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,268
Mama, Daddy, guess...
563
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,237
Ha, ha! Yes, that was wrong.
564
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:54,509
Oh! You all right?
565
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,810
Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat,
566
00:20:56,844 --> 00:20:59,380
you'd just write the formula
on your upper thigh.
567
00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:01,015
Did I get it?
568
00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:03,483
Great. But then I just stopped
and I ruined it, so...
569
00:21:03,517 --> 00:21:05,452
- [Laughter]
- That's awesome!
570
00:21:05,485 --> 00:21:09,289
At somebody's convenience,
may I get some Tums?
571
00:21:09,323 --> 00:21:12,139
I had a doughnut and bacon,
and I'm regretting every choice.
572
00:21:12,164 --> 00:21:13,627
[Laughs]
573
00:21:13,661 --> 00:21:15,974
- Was that it?
- Yes. Lovely. Do it again.
574
00:21:15,999 --> 00:21:17,068
Love.
575
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:22,092
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
576
00:21:22,142 --> 00:21:26,692
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