All language subtitles for American Housewife s02e24 The Spring Gala.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,492 --> 00:00:05,093 Ohh! A brain freeze before 8:00 a.m. 2 00:00:05,195 --> 00:00:06,761 This is living. [Chuckles] 3 00:00:06,863 --> 00:00:08,808 So, we're just having ice cream for breakfast? 4 00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:10,265 - Really? - Uh, uh, uh. 5 00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:11,753 You said in the week leading up to the Gala, 6 00:00:11,786 --> 00:00:12,918 you were gonna have your hands full. 7 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,464 So your instructions were to... 8 00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:16,848 - Oliver? - As Mom said... and I quote... 9 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,538 "Pretend I ran off to Mexico with a guy named Enrique. 10 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,984 You're now a single father with three kids. 11 00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,099 Parent as you will." 12 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,694 That was taken out of context. 13 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,783 You're right. The context was, 14 00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:28,051 "Parent as you will. 15 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,087 And, Oliver, if you don't stop writing this down, 16 00:00:30,189 --> 00:00:31,688 I will stab that pen in your eye." 17 00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:34,502 See? Now we see the full picture. But can I just say... 18 00:00:34,557 --> 00:00:36,291 There also was a no-comment clause. 19 00:00:36,378 --> 00:00:37,710 Fine. 20 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:39,890 I won't comment on things... 21 00:00:39,992 --> 00:00:42,167 things like Anna-Kat not making her bed, 22 00:00:42,222 --> 00:00:43,855 Taylor coming in past curfew, 23 00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:45,524 and Oliver heading to ballet practice 24 00:00:45,592 --> 00:00:46,858 in his good recital leotard. 25 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:47,893 Boys will be boys. 26 00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:49,361 You know what? Be fun all you want. 27 00:00:49,429 --> 00:00:51,630 I'm not gonna let your happiness get me down. 28 00:00:51,732 --> 00:00:53,231 You know, for the Gala being tomorrow, you seem relaxed. 29 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:54,833 That's because everything is in order. 30 00:00:54,902 --> 00:00:56,768 All I have to do is drop off the fliers at school 31 00:00:56,837 --> 00:00:58,875 to remind people to dress in Indian garb 32 00:00:58,953 --> 00:01:00,238 for the big Bollywood party. 33 00:01:00,307 --> 00:01:02,391 I'm heading out. Do you want me to take the kids? 34 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,938 No, thanks. I'm bringing them in late 35 00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:06,715 just to add a little fun to Fun Dad Friday. 36 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,184 Hmm. 37 00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:10,798 Head shakes are also commenting! 38 00:01:10,915 --> 00:01:12,288 Dad, let's blow off school 39 00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:14,123 and go visit Hans Gruber at the farm! 40 00:01:14,192 --> 00:01:15,491 That would be classic Fun Dad. 41 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,459 Guys, that may be taking this too far. 42 00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:20,171 Remember three seconds ago when Dad was awesome? 43 00:01:20,266 --> 00:01:23,167 Hey, Boring Dad, where's your shawl-collared sweater? 44 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,451 [Dialing] 45 00:01:26,559 --> 00:01:28,893 Grant, cancel my office hours. 46 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,245 We're going to a farm. 47 00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,457 [All cheering] 48 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,448 This must be how Kenny G feels when he steps out onstage. 49 00:01:35,535 --> 00:01:38,393 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 50 00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:44,542 ? 51 00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,877 KATIE: Hi, Principal Ablin. 52 00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:47,412 I hope you've got your sari ready 53 00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:48,880 for the Gala tomorrow night. 54 00:01:48,982 --> 00:01:51,909 Actually, traditional Indian attire for men isn't a sari. 55 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,033 It's called a kurta. 56 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,253 I have one in beautiful magenta silk 57 00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:58,156 that I picked up when I lived in an ashram outside of Varanasi. 58 00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,693 I was wracked with dysentery the entire time. 59 00:02:00,771 --> 00:02:03,662 Bright side... got down to my Speedo weight. 60 00:02:03,764 --> 00:02:05,497 CHLOE: So, there's Penny's classroom. 61 00:02:05,599 --> 00:02:07,799 Now, get in there and make some crafts with the kids. 62 00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:09,034 I still don't understand this. 63 00:02:09,136 --> 00:02:10,969 You're room mother. Penny is your kid. 64 00:02:11,071 --> 00:02:12,070 Why am I doing this? 65 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,239 Because you work for me, you're crafty, 66 00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:15,940 and you don't have to worry about ruining your clothes 67 00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:16,966 'cause they're so terrible. 68 00:02:17,077 --> 00:02:19,210 So, get in there. Bye! 69 00:02:19,312 --> 00:02:20,812 I called the Chamber of Commerce, 70 00:02:20,914 --> 00:02:22,747 and they said you're paying me below minimum wage. 71 00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:25,016 And I called the Chamber of Doughy, Pale Bodies, 72 00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:26,384 and they said you're their president. 73 00:02:26,486 --> 00:02:28,486 Now get in there and delight my daughter's class! 74 00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:30,889 Delight them! Get in there! 75 00:02:30,991 --> 00:02:32,157 Hey. 76 00:02:32,259 --> 00:02:34,426 God, managing the help is so exhausting. 77 00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:35,894 Uhh, tell me about it. 78 00:02:35,996 --> 00:02:38,496 I'm going on vacation next week, and my packer's appendix burst. 79 00:02:38,598 --> 00:02:40,365 It's like, "Do it on your own time." 80 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,350 - Yeah. - So, Katie, 81 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:44,035 tomorrow's the big night! 82 00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:45,377 - Are you ready? - Yep. 83 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,838 I've got it all handled... 84 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:48,473 the food, the music, the flowers, 85 00:02:48,575 --> 00:02:50,942 the magic, the mystery, the dance. 86 00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:52,911 Do you know who else thought she had everything handled? 87 00:02:53,013 --> 00:02:55,680 Last year's Gala chairperson... Stacy Clouser. 88 00:02:55,782 --> 00:02:58,083 Where are all my shrimp?! [Panting] 89 00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:00,552 I ordered 6,000 shrimp! 90 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:02,167 Stacy, are you okay? 91 00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,761 I'm fine. So fine. 92 00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:05,557 They're probably just buried under the ice. 93 00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:08,190 Ice. No, no, no! 94 00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:10,227 Oh, my God! This can't be happening! 95 00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,997 Which one of you shrimp-stealers stole my shrimp?! 96 00:03:13,099 --> 00:03:14,398 - [Laughs] - Open your purses! 97 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,434 I said open them! 98 00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:19,103 Well, you don't need to worry about me. 99 00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:21,361 My Gala is gonna be amazing. 100 00:03:21,429 --> 00:03:23,696 I even got television's Nathan Fillion 101 00:03:23,764 --> 00:03:27,209 riding in on an elephant, surrounded by Bollywood dancers. 102 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:31,209 But do you want to know what the best part is going to be? 103 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,493 Uh, it all falling apart and you being shunned? 104 00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:36,188 Ooh! A shunning! I do love a good shunning. 105 00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:38,067 You know, public shamings are more my thing, 106 00:03:38,169 --> 00:03:39,068 but shunnings are nice. 107 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,202 [Katie chuckles] No. 108 00:03:40,305 --> 00:03:43,272 The best part is going to be the look on your sad, 109 00:03:43,374 --> 00:03:46,489 gross faces when I Slumdog this millionaire! 110 00:03:47,378 --> 00:03:48,578 That actually didn't make sense. 111 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,247 Oh, I am so proud of you, Katie! 112 00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:52,949 I mean, honestly, I was a little worried 113 00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:54,250 that maybe you took on too much, 114 00:03:54,352 --> 00:03:57,086 but, ohh, you're gonna be the toast of the town! 115 00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:58,588 Or just toast. 116 00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,222 Your Gala's gonna suck. 117 00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,313 [Laughter] 118 00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:03,859 Just so you know, this is why your husbands 119 00:04:03,962 --> 00:04:05,194 don't have sex with you. 120 00:04:05,528 --> 00:04:06,727 Huh. 121 00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:08,469 ? 122 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,559 Everything will be set up tomorrow morning... 123 00:04:10,637 --> 00:04:12,887 the tables, the stage goes over there, 124 00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,458 the champagne fountain goes there, 125 00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:15,838 and this is where I stand, 126 00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:18,228 receiving praise from all the other housewives. 127 00:04:18,331 --> 00:04:20,464 I plan on saying "Suck it!" a lot. 128 00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:21,859 I will not be gracious. 129 00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,922 Well, are you sure Nathan Fillion is gonna show? 130 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,820 Because those "suck its" aren't gonna land 131 00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:27,703 unless you have him riding in on an elephant. 132 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,567 Yes. He gave me his word. 133 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,508 And, more importantly, there was a sign. 134 00:04:31,598 --> 00:04:34,044 He opened a box of animal crackers, and it was all elephants. 135 00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:36,513 - That doesn't just happen. - Yes, it does, because it did. 136 00:04:36,615 --> 00:04:38,253 And he's as bonkers as you are. 137 00:04:38,347 --> 00:04:40,184 [Ringtone plays] 138 00:04:40,286 --> 00:04:41,285 Hello? 139 00:04:41,387 --> 00:04:42,419 Beware. 140 00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:43,987 They're out to get you. 141 00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:45,422 Who's this? 142 00:04:45,524 --> 00:04:48,883 My name is Stacy Clouser. 143 00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:50,954 They're out to get you. 144 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,746 Who's out to get me? 145 00:04:52,832 --> 00:04:54,698 Them. 146 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,400 - [Line disconnects] - Hello? 147 00:04:56,502 --> 00:04:57,835 [Beeping] 148 00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:02,231 That was Stacy Clouser. She said they're out to get me. 149 00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:04,786 It could be a sign... a bad sign. 150 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,254 Can phone calls be signs? 151 00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,422 Of course they can. 152 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,591 - [Ringtone plays] - Doris, I know it's you. 153 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:10,763 Just answer it. 154 00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:12,060 No. You're just gonna make fun of me. 155 00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:13,997 Come on. It could be important. 156 00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:16,157 Hi, Angela. It's Doris. 157 00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:18,026 You're a nutjob! 158 00:05:18,128 --> 00:05:19,227 Bye! 159 00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:20,328 [Cellphone chimes] 160 00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:22,347 You got a message. You should check it. 161 00:05:22,425 --> 00:05:24,266 ? 162 00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:25,700 Hans Gruber looks happy. 163 00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:29,137 I wonder if he can talk to the other animals, like in "Babe." 164 00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:31,692 What am I saying? Of course he can! 165 00:05:31,763 --> 00:05:33,396 Professor Otto! 166 00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:34,520 Grant, what are you doing here? 167 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,731 You're supposed to be at the university. 168 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,633 I'm your assistant. I'm here to assist. 169 00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:38,801 How did you even find me? 170 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,836 I placed a Tile device in your wallet. 171 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,371 I need to know where you are. 172 00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:43,939 That is very unsettling. 173 00:05:44,008 --> 00:05:45,559 That doesn't sound like a "stop it"! 174 00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:48,577 Oh! Hey, look, a camel! 175 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,581 My dad had a pet camel when I was growing up in India. 176 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:54,363 You remind me of sweet Pepito. 177 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,769 Dad, can we have a pet camel? 178 00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:58,859 No. I'm sure he came to the animal sanctuary 179 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,139 because he's not supposed to be a pet. 180 00:06:00,231 --> 00:06:02,098 Just like Hans Gruber's not supposed to be a pet. 181 00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:05,205 I understand. It's not like a dog. 182 00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:07,069 That's right. A dog is a whole different story. 183 00:06:07,171 --> 00:06:09,378 - [Gasps] Look, a dog! - [Barks] 184 00:06:12,677 --> 00:06:13,809 Can we have him? 185 00:06:13,911 --> 00:06:15,678 A golden retriever is a pet! 186 00:06:15,746 --> 00:06:18,416 Come on, Dad. We could use a smart blonde in the family. 187 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,260 No. We cannot bring home a dog. 188 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,217 It's not even ours. Who says it's even a rescue? 189 00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:25,587 I do. You want the dog? His name is Luthor. 190 00:06:25,690 --> 00:06:26,834 ALL: Please! 191 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,357 Please! 192 00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:30,897 You're wasting your breath. No dog. 193 00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:33,732 [Crying] I already love him so much! 194 00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:35,610 - [Crying] - [Horn honks] 195 00:06:35,712 --> 00:06:36,911 That's Mom's car. 196 00:06:37,013 --> 00:06:38,346 We got to keep Luthor out of sight 197 00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:40,823 until we make sure she's in a dog-receptive state of mind. 198 00:06:40,924 --> 00:06:42,750 Fun Dad is no match for Mad Mom. 199 00:06:42,852 --> 00:06:43,951 Come on. 200 00:06:46,956 --> 00:06:50,175 Tomorrow night calls for clear skies and multiple "suck its." 201 00:06:50,261 --> 00:06:51,659 [Chuckles] Great. 202 00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:53,503 Seems like you could take on anything right now. 203 00:06:53,574 --> 00:06:55,608 Yeah. I'm crushing it as Gala chair. 204 00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:57,977 [Ringtone plays] 205 00:06:58,079 --> 00:07:00,079 Principal Ablin, holla! 206 00:07:03,451 --> 00:07:05,684 Come on. She's in a perfect dog mood. She said "holla." 207 00:07:05,786 --> 00:07:09,522 What?! Who says I can't use an elephant for domestic purposes? 208 00:07:09,624 --> 00:07:13,325 Well, who the hell told PETA about it? 209 00:07:13,427 --> 00:07:16,962 The Gala is tomorrow, and you're telling me I have no elephant?! 210 00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:18,164 Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted. 211 00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:21,066 ? 212 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,425 Come on. 213 00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:26,005 ? 214 00:07:29,815 --> 00:07:31,782 [Sighs] 215 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,418 It's a Bollywood event, and I lost my elephant. 216 00:07:34,489 --> 00:07:36,623 The only reason Nathan agreed to do this 217 00:07:36,692 --> 00:07:38,458 was because elephants were a sign. 218 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,493 All right, calm down. We'll figure it out. 219 00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:42,662 I'm sure there are other things in India that people ride... 220 00:07:42,764 --> 00:07:43,797 camels, for instance. 221 00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,999 Camels weren't a part of the sign, Greg. 222 00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:47,780 Maybe he did have a sign with camels. You don't know. 223 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,034 The Gala is tomorrow night. 224 00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:50,703 Where in the world would I get a camel? 225 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:51,770 I can get you a camel. 226 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,912 You? You can get a camel? 227 00:07:54,008 --> 00:07:55,908 I have some mysteries up my sleeve. 228 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,776 You think you know everything about me, but... 229 00:07:57,879 --> 00:08:00,123 Is it the farm where we dropped off Hans Gruber? 230 00:08:01,616 --> 00:08:02,414 Yes. 231 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,817 ? 232 00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:06,308 Hey, Nathan! 233 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,409 Hey, Katie. 234 00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:09,036 I'm getting fitted for my kurta right now. 235 00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:11,938 Looking good! So, I had a thought. 236 00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:15,309 Instead of an elephant, which is always rampaging and stuff, 237 00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:18,612 how about a nice, reliable, friendly camel? 238 00:08:19,089 --> 00:08:20,388 Stop pinning. 239 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,856 The sign was elephants. 240 00:08:21,924 --> 00:08:24,043 I mean, Katie, I'm not stupid. 241 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,403 The only reason I'm doing this 242 00:08:25,481 --> 00:08:27,181 is because the box of cookies told me to do it. 243 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,909 [Sighs] 244 00:08:30,846 --> 00:08:32,179 KATIE: Oh, my God. That's it! 245 00:08:33,682 --> 00:08:35,949 No problem. Elephant it is. 246 00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:38,049 Trunk, big ears, the whole thing. 247 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,043 Keep pinning! 248 00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:42,939 ? 249 00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:46,009 See? It's about a monkey who wants to be a toucan, 250 00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:48,914 so he made himself a colorful beak and cut off his tail. 251 00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:50,351 I think it's supposed to be 252 00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:52,720 about accepting people who are transitioning. 253 00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:55,290 I don't know what Chloe's told you, but I was born a woman. 254 00:08:55,392 --> 00:08:56,724 That's not it. 255 00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:59,360 I called you over because I know how good you are with crafts. 256 00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:04,397 So, could you make me a trunk and ears that fits on a camel 257 00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:06,139 so it looks like an elephant? 258 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,510 I could, but Chloe would be so mad 259 00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,171 if she found out I helped you. 260 00:09:10,273 --> 00:09:11,639 - Mm. - I'm in. 261 00:09:11,707 --> 00:09:13,741 And make sure to tell her it was me. 262 00:09:13,843 --> 00:09:15,676 Actually, don't. She scares me. 263 00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:17,311 I was brave for a second. 264 00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:21,382 ? 265 00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:23,467 CHLOE: Oh. Hi, Katie! 266 00:09:23,532 --> 00:09:25,532 We were just talking about you behind your back. 267 00:09:25,635 --> 00:09:26,867 [Light laughter] 268 00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:28,669 I wasn't. 269 00:09:28,771 --> 00:09:30,905 Well, sometimes I nod along, 270 00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:32,769 but otherwise, no one would hang out with me. 271 00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:34,050 It's okay, Suzanne. 272 00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:37,044 I know you have a good heart... 273 00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:38,942 unlike you three [bleep]. 274 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,168 [All gasp] 275 00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:42,370 That's the worst possible word you could use! 276 00:09:42,439 --> 00:09:43,538 Well, now, it's my favorite word. 277 00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:44,673 Katie, why are you even here? 278 00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:47,342 To let you know your little plan to call PETA 279 00:09:47,411 --> 00:09:51,213 to screw up Castle riding in on an elephant isn't gonna work. 280 00:09:51,281 --> 00:09:53,648 - Anyone know what she's talking about? - No clue. 281 00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:56,311 I'm still processing what she called us. I mean, there's a line. 282 00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:57,354 Oh, save it. 283 00:09:57,457 --> 00:09:59,423 I know one of you is "them." 284 00:09:59,525 --> 00:10:00,970 [Chuckles] Guys, check it out. 285 00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:03,294 She's starting to go full-on Stacy Clouser. 286 00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,229 - [Laughter] - She's Clousin' out! 287 00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:06,697 One ticket to Clouse town! 288 00:10:06,799 --> 00:10:08,165 Send in the Clouse! 289 00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,333 Clousin' time! 290 00:10:09,435 --> 00:10:11,101 No, Nancy. No. 291 00:10:11,204 --> 00:10:12,737 I am not Stacy Clouser! 292 00:10:12,838 --> 00:10:14,071 I am Katie Otto, 293 00:10:14,173 --> 00:10:15,542 and you might as well give it up, 294 00:10:15,604 --> 00:10:17,948 because my Gala is gonna rule. 295 00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,053 [Chuckles] 296 00:10:19,115 --> 00:10:20,114 So long [bleep]. 297 00:10:20,192 --> 00:10:21,158 [All gasp] 298 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:25,162 ? 299 00:10:25,264 --> 00:10:26,797 [Gasps] 300 00:10:26,865 --> 00:10:28,465 I worked all night on this so you'd have it in time 301 00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:29,800 for the Gala this evening. 302 00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:32,027 Burned myself a few times with the hot-glue gun. 303 00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:33,598 It was nice to feel something. 304 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,939 Maria! This is amazing! 305 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,374 You're right. I never should have bothered. 306 00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:38,842 No! I love it! 307 00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:40,508 Exactly. I do suck. 308 00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:44,020 You really think Nathan Fillion will go for it? 309 00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:45,863 I mean, he is gonna notice it's a dressed-up camel. 310 00:10:45,965 --> 00:10:47,865 Greg, he played a detective on TV. 311 00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:49,289 He's not one in real life. 312 00:10:49,992 --> 00:10:51,635 - So, you're in a good place? - Yeah. 313 00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:53,093 Great. I'm gonna go get the kids. 314 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,507 - Why? - You'll see. 315 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,314 [Ringtone plays] 316 00:10:56,383 --> 00:10:58,650 Hey, Doris. What's happening at the Carson House? 317 00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:01,819 There is nothing happening. Nothing's been set up. 318 00:11:01,898 --> 00:11:04,332 Nothing has even been delivered! 319 00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:05,900 What are you talking about? 320 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,269 Everything was supposed to be dropped off this morning. 321 00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:11,539 I know. That's why I called your vendors and the caterers, 322 00:11:11,608 --> 00:11:14,214 and everyone said you canceled everything last week. 323 00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,070 But I didn't cancel anything. 324 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:19,848 Those dirty, little... 325 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,446 Katie, I know you're upset, 326 00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,010 but it's never okay to use that word. 327 00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:25,255 Mood has shifted. Mood has shifted. Go! 328 00:11:25,358 --> 00:11:32,162 ? 329 00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:33,530 [Katie sighs] 330 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,233 They did it, Greg. They beat me. 331 00:11:40,288 --> 00:11:42,154 They canceled my caterer, the dancers, 332 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,990 my champagne fountain, everything. 333 00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:45,591 People are going to show up, 334 00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:48,861 and there's literally going to be nothing there. 335 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:51,764 The Gala's ruined. So am I. 336 00:11:51,866 --> 00:11:53,699 I'm done in this town. 337 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,546 And we're gonna have to move out of Westport. 338 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,113 - We won't have to move. - You're right. It's my shame. 339 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,354 You and the kids stay. I'll go to Mexico with Enrique. 340 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,276 Hey! Pull it together! 341 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,612 You are Katie Otto. 342 00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:05,714 You have stood up for the downtrodden, the poorly dressed, 343 00:12:05,816 --> 00:12:07,749 the larger gals, the people who don't believe 344 00:12:07,818 --> 00:12:09,217 opening a bag of peanuts on an airplane 345 00:12:09,319 --> 00:12:11,353 can really get someone sick 10 rows away. 346 00:12:11,455 --> 00:12:12,721 How did this happen?! 347 00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:15,023 The woman who criticized all the busybodies in this town... 348 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,626 with their hysterics and their events 349 00:12:17,728 --> 00:12:19,260 and their wastes of feminine energy... 350 00:12:19,329 --> 00:12:21,200 is defeated, curled up 351 00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:22,997 because she can't get her champagne fountain! 352 00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,167 Why are you yelling at me? 353 00:12:24,269 --> 00:12:25,502 Because you're trying to throw this Gala 354 00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:28,138 the Westport housewife way, not the Katie Otto way. 355 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,473 My Katie Otto would never let those bitches 356 00:12:30,576 --> 00:12:31,641 get the better of her. 357 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,610 That's right. I threw down the B-word. 358 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,278 This isn't the woman I married. 359 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,180 The woman I married wouldn't give up. 360 00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:38,351 You know what she would do? 361 00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:39,472 What would she do? 362 00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,874 She would get off that couch and figure out a way 363 00:12:41,977 --> 00:12:44,043 to throw the Gala her way, not their way. 364 00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:47,246 But how am I going to put together an entire Gala in eight hours? 365 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,825 - With me. - With us. 366 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,895 We've got your back. 367 00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:51,379 Ottos never quit! 368 00:12:58,159 --> 00:13:00,593 I threw Karen Nelson's hysterectomy party together 369 00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:02,328 in minutes... 150 guests. 370 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:05,365 I made that papier-m�ch� "Adios to your uterus" pi�ata 371 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:06,966 moments before the guests arrived. 372 00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:07,967 That's right, you did. 373 00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:09,002 I can do this! 374 00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:10,596 Damn straight you can! 375 00:13:10,684 --> 00:13:11,711 So, you're in a good place? 376 00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:14,002 Yeah. I'm in a great place. 377 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:16,711 Good, 'cause we got a dog. 378 00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:18,911 ? 379 00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:23,432 Okay, people, we've got five hours to transform this place 380 00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:25,049 into a Bollywood extravaganza. 381 00:13:25,089 --> 00:13:26,916 Doris, I need you to go to the outlet store 382 00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:28,822 and get as many candles, rugs, and throw pillows 383 00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,107 - as you can. - Outlet store?! 384 00:13:31,176 --> 00:13:32,725 Fine. I'll do it because we're friends. 385 00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:34,243 But I am paying full price! 386 00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:35,778 KATIE: We need decorations that are on-theme. 387 00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:37,513 Angela, can we borrow some of the Buddhist stuff 388 00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:38,514 that you have at your house? 389 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:40,383 Greg, you and the recycling committee, 390 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,070 go pick up the Buddha, string lights, 391 00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:43,828 and then get started cleaning out the trash cans 392 00:13:43,905 --> 00:13:45,073 for the trash-can punch. 393 00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:46,469 Okay, we need dancers. 394 00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:47,969 I'll ask my ballet class to help. 395 00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:49,357 Great! Okay, let me see what else. 396 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,125 Uh, I don't know, Mom. Food? 397 00:13:51,159 --> 00:13:52,827 Right. Forgot about that. 398 00:13:52,861 --> 00:13:54,663 Does anyone know where we could get Indian food 399 00:13:54,696 --> 00:13:56,565 for 200 people by 4:00 today? 400 00:13:56,597 --> 00:13:58,232 I have an idea! [Chuckles] 401 00:13:58,265 --> 00:14:00,235 Grant! I took the Tile out of my wallet. 402 00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:01,228 How did you find me? 403 00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:02,559 I followed you home from the farm, 404 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,293 broke into your car, and hid in your trunk... 405 00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:05,561 like any good assistant would. 406 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,963 Let's blow past how creepy that was 407 00:14:06,995 --> 00:14:08,430 and focus on how you can help me. 408 00:14:08,464 --> 00:14:10,433 My uncle owns an Indian food-truck business. 409 00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:11,868 I can ask if he knows someone. 410 00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:13,069 How about your uncle? 411 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:14,403 Oh, yeah! I can make that happen! 412 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,938 Grant, I love you! 413 00:14:15,971 --> 00:14:17,406 And I love your husband! 414 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,441 What do you say, people?! Let's do this thing! 415 00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:20,442 - All right! - Yeah! 416 00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:21,543 - Come on, guys. - Whoo! 417 00:14:21,576 --> 00:14:24,480 Oh... my God, Katie. 418 00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,215 Last year, it was just the shrimp that ran out, 419 00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:27,917 but you don't have anything. 420 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,753 The Gala is five hours away, 421 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,489 and you have nothing but an empty tent. 422 00:14:32,522 --> 00:14:33,757 I'm gonna be the first one here 423 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,158 so I can watch you crash and burn. 424 00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,727 So you just happened to be strolling by 425 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,897 moments after the Gala fell apart? 426 00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:46,169 Stupid Tara... unlike your husband, I'm all over you. 427 00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:52,341 [Dialing] 428 00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:54,643 Stacy? It's Katie Otto. 429 00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:56,779 I'm calling to tell you that you were right. 430 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,282 Someone is messing with my Gala, 431 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,017 and they messed with yours, too. 432 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,285 I knew it! 433 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,420 Someone canceled your shrimp order. 434 00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:06,623 Ugh! Damn right they did! 435 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,858 Not "they." She. 436 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,092 Tara Summers. 437 00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,927 Tara Summers? 438 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,863 Tara Summers! 439 00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,197 Which one is Tara Summers? 440 00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:16,932 Blonde-ish. Smells like tofu. 441 00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:18,234 Tara Summers! 442 00:15:19,469 --> 00:15:20,436 [Beeps] 443 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:22,339 You see, Marmalade? 444 00:15:22,372 --> 00:15:24,174 I am not crazy. 445 00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:25,941 Okay, guys, in the tent by the table. 446 00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:29,012 ?? 447 00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,280 Come on, just like Rajnee showed us on YouTube. 448 00:15:31,313 --> 00:15:33,182 Screw in the light bulb. 449 00:15:33,215 --> 00:15:34,484 Screw in the light bulb. 450 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:42,124 ?? 451 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:49,733 ?? 452 00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:52,668 I said just a splash, Maria! Ugh! 453 00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,470 Those tulips aren't you and your gal pals 454 00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:56,138 at Bennigan's for happy hour! 455 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,340 [Laughs] Nailed it! 456 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:03,580 ?? 457 00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:08,685 ?? 458 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,085 Now, pet the dog. 459 00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:11,488 Pet the dog. 460 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:19,395 ?? 461 00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:21,196 Oh, my God. This is so good. 462 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,334 Mmm! I know. Ooh! 463 00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:26,835 I'm gonna get all "lose my shoes, tell my kids I love 'em" drunk. 464 00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:27,870 [Laughs] 465 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,873 ?? 466 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:30,940 [Horn honks] 467 00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:32,175 Hey! 468 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,175 [Laughs] 469 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:37,380 ?? 470 00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:39,448 [Smooches] 471 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:40,449 Thank you! 472 00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:41,451 I love your husband. 473 00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:42,852 I know. 474 00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:46,889 [Bollywood-themed music plays] 475 00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,057 I was wracked with dysentery the whole time, 476 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:52,796 but bright side... I got down to my Speedo weight. 477 00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,063 Oh. 478 00:16:54,095 --> 00:16:55,432 This is so good. 479 00:16:55,465 --> 00:16:58,201 From now on, I'm only drinking out of garbage cans. 480 00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,602 [Laughter] 481 00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:01,069 I can't believe this all came together. 482 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,039 - Mm-hmm. - I am so proud of you. 483 00:17:03,071 --> 00:17:04,774 You know, one thing I will give to you poors... 484 00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:06,576 you are resourceful. 485 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,778 Well, stupid, stupid Tara, 486 00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:13,082 even with you doing all that you could do to sabotage my Gala, 487 00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:15,418 I still pulled it off. 488 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,386 Katie, I honestly have no idea what you're talking... 489 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,922 [Stacy screams] 490 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,122 [Both grunting] 491 00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:22,090 I knew I ordered enough shrimp! 492 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,960 Get... [Grunts] 493 00:17:23,992 --> 00:17:25,828 Get her off me! 494 00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:27,330 You ruined my life! 495 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:28,998 Everyone thought I was crazy! 496 00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:31,467 Well, I'm not crazy! 497 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,735 You did this to me! 498 00:17:33,768 --> 00:17:35,637 Help me! Help me! 499 00:17:35,671 --> 00:17:36,779 Let 'em go. 500 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,708 Katie, I hate to admit it, but this Gala is amazing. 501 00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:43,613 I mean, best ever. 502 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,080 Thank you so much. 503 00:17:45,114 --> 00:17:48,207 And, ladies, I mean this from the bottom of my heart... 504 00:17:48,232 --> 00:17:50,053 - Aww. - Suck it! 505 00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,457 [Breathing heavily] 506 00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:58,661 Clouser's back! [Grunts] 507 00:17:58,693 --> 00:18:01,096 - She is the best! - I've always liked her. 508 00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:02,765 It wasn't me! 509 00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:03,967 Yeah, right. 510 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:05,868 If it wasn't you, then who? 511 00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:07,604 I don't know. 512 00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:10,606 SUZANNE: Why do I sabotage the Gala every year? 513 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,542 Is it because chaos turns me on? 514 00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:15,378 Or maybe these Mexican diet pills are making me psychotic. 515 00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:16,813 Katie! 516 00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,315 This punch is so yummy! 517 00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:21,508 Suzanne, you're the best. 518 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:26,055 [Bollywood-themed music plays] 519 00:18:26,087 --> 00:18:27,824 [Camel grunts] 520 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:34,963 ?? 521 00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:44,474 ?? 522 00:18:44,507 --> 00:18:47,310 CHLOE: Oh, my gosh. It really is Nathan Fillion. 523 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:51,214 And he's riding on a... What the hell is that? 524 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:53,950 I'm at a Gala in Westport riding a camel 525 00:18:53,975 --> 00:18:57,145 disguised as an elephant, and I've never felt more alive! 526 00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:58,947 [All cheering] 527 00:18:58,979 --> 00:19:00,748 How did you know he'd go for the camel-elephant? 528 00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:02,417 Well, Anna-Kat and I prepared him a little snack 529 00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:03,951 when he stopped by before the Gala. 530 00:19:03,985 --> 00:19:05,887 Elephant. 531 00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,024 Camel. 532 00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:12,994 It's all elephants and camels. 533 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,263 It's another sign. 534 00:19:15,295 --> 00:19:16,864 Cookies, you've done it again. 535 00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:20,765 You did it. 536 00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,606 I did do it. 537 00:19:24,639 --> 00:19:26,707 I thought you'd say, "We did it," but all right. 538 00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:29,356 How about this... I did it, 539 00:19:29,395 --> 00:19:31,204 but I couldn't have done it without you. 540 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,140 Better. 541 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,909 [Music continues] 542 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,745 ?? 543 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,145 [All cheering] 544 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:48,288 ?? 545 00:19:48,322 --> 00:19:57,430 ?? 546 00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:06,506 ?? 547 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:15,482 ?? 548 00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:20,820 - A-mark. - Oh, my God! 549 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,856 I feel like my eyes are dry-heaving! 550 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,101 What? We're just showing that we like each other. 551 00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:26,247 [Laughs] 552 00:20:26,279 --> 00:20:28,915 Yeah. D really laid it on me! 553 00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:31,285 [Laughter] 554 00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,686 I couldn't breathe! 555 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,322 [Laughter] 556 00:20:34,355 --> 00:20:35,522 All right, I don't use it very much, 557 00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:37,491 but I'm kind of fond of it, so... 558 00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:38,759 there we go. 559 00:20:38,791 --> 00:20:40,794 [Classical music plays] 560 00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:44,164 ?? 561 00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:45,967 MAN: Action. 562 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,268 Mama, Daddy, guess... 563 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,237 Ha, ha! Yes, that was wrong. 564 00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:54,509 Oh! You all right? 565 00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,810 Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat, 566 00:20:56,844 --> 00:20:59,380 you'd just write the formula on your upper thigh. 567 00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:01,015 Did I get it? 568 00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:03,483 Great. But then I just stopped and I ruined it, so... 569 00:21:03,517 --> 00:21:05,452 - [Laughter] - That's awesome! 570 00:21:05,485 --> 00:21:09,289 At somebody's convenience, may I get some Tums? 571 00:21:09,323 --> 00:21:12,139 I had a doughnut and bacon, and I'm regretting every choice. 572 00:21:12,164 --> 00:21:13,627 [Laughs] 573 00:21:13,661 --> 00:21:15,974 - Was that it? - Yes. Lovely. Do it again. 574 00:21:15,999 --> 00:21:17,068 Love. 575 00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:22,092 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 576 00:21:22,142 --> 00:21:26,692 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40871

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