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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:10,853 - Were you a scared child? 2 00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:10,853 - Yeah. 3 00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,688 You know, going into 4 00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,688 your parents' bedroom to sleep. 5 00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,390 - Aw. 6 00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,390 - Like, I was afraid of Freddy 7 00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:15,825 from "Nightmare on Elm Street." 8 00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:15,825 - Mm-hmm. 9 00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,493 - You would end up 10 00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,493 in your parents' bed a lot. 11 00:00:17,527 --> 00:00:21,230 - Oh, I slept in my parents' 12 00:00:17,527 --> 00:00:21,230 bedroom till late eighth grade. 13 00:00:21,264 --> 00:00:23,499 I remember the last time, 14 00:00:21,264 --> 00:00:23,499 because I was old enough 15 00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:25,568 to know that 16 00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:25,568 my parents could be having sex. 17 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,504 So I knocked to make sure 18 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,504 that they weren't like, 19 00:00:28,538 --> 00:00:29,505 [exasperated voice] 20 00:00:28,538 --> 00:00:29,505 "Yeah?" 21 00:00:29,539 --> 00:00:32,408 - I'd take my chances 22 00:00:29,539 --> 00:00:32,408 1,000 out of 1,000 times 23 00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:34,210 with Freddy 24 00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:34,210 over my dad's balls. 25 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,012 - Ugh. 26 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,012 - [laughs] 27 00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:38,848 - * I wanna miss my flight 28 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:44,253 * I feel so all alone 29 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:44,253 out on the road * 30 00:00:44,287 --> 00:00:47,223 * Can you welcome me home? 31 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:50,927 [upbeat music] 32 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,428 - You guys, how was Chicago? 33 00:00:52,462 --> 00:00:54,363 - Chi-town, what's goin' on, 34 00:00:52,462 --> 00:00:54,363 baby? 35 00:00:54,397 --> 00:00:56,032 Is that what you have to say 36 00:00:54,397 --> 00:00:56,032 when you say "Chicago"? 37 00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:57,200 - You have to say that 38 00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:57,200 when you-- 39 00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:59,168 - Chi-town, what's goin' on? 40 00:00:59,202 --> 00:01:01,437 - It was awesome. 41 00:00:59,202 --> 00:01:01,437 We went to a bird sanctuary. 42 00:01:01,471 --> 00:01:04,683 - Oh, my gosh. 43 00:01:01,471 --> 00:01:04,683 - That was wild. 44 00:01:04,683 --> 00:01:05,440 - Well, 45 00:01:04,683 --> 00:01:05,440 it's just a normal house. 46 00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:08,511 There were 70 cages. 47 00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:08,511 I mean, it's crazy. 48 00:01:08,544 --> 00:01:10,413 Oh, my God. 49 00:01:08,544 --> 00:01:10,413 I think this-- 50 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:12,763 this might be it. 51 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:12,763 - Oh, my... 52 00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,317 - Holy ----. 53 00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,317 - [laughing] 54 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,586 [bird cawing] 55 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,586 - Oh, my God. 56 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:19,021 - Like, Chicago was great. 57 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:19,021 But it was kind of awkward. 58 00:01:19,832 --> 00:01:20,757 I had to ride the elevator up 59 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:24,160 with my parents and Chris 60 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:24,160 up to our floor, 61 00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:26,763 and they saw us, you know, 62 00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:26,763 go off together, 63 00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,398 and probably knew 64 00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,398 what was going to happen, 65 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:30,600 based on my act. 66 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:30,600 - Wah-wah-wah-wah. 67 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:37,306 - So we consummated 68 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:37,306 our...uh, love? 69 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,342 Um, yeah, we had sex. 70 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,344 Ready for a wild night? 71 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,344 - No. 72 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:45,213 - Presently occupied. 73 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:45,213 Yeah... 74 00:01:45,248 --> 00:01:47,350 I have no regrets. 75 00:01:45,248 --> 00:01:47,350 It was great, 76 00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:50,620 and I feel really secure 77 00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:50,620 about my decision to do that. 78 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,255 I just feel like 79 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,255 it was the most responsible sex 80 00:01:52,288 --> 00:01:54,790 I've ever had. 81 00:01:54,824 --> 00:01:57,427 Still didn't use a condom, 82 00:01:54,824 --> 00:01:57,427 but still responsible. 83 00:01:57,460 --> 00:01:59,162 Kerstin, do you want kids? 84 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,603 - I mean, I do if it happens. 85 00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:07,437 But I'm not gonna go like to 86 00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:07,437 the ends of the Earth to, like, 87 00:02:07,469 --> 00:02:11,407 "I must have a family 88 00:02:07,469 --> 00:02:11,407 to feel fulfilled!" 89 00:02:11,441 --> 00:02:13,342 Nikki, do you want kids? 90 00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:14,977 - If we came up with a plan 91 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:18,247 where it was like I wasn't the 92 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:18,247 one having to do everything. 93 00:02:18,281 --> 00:02:22,793 Like, my dad was very-- 94 00:02:18,281 --> 00:02:22,793 he played with us all the time, 95 00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:24,813 all the time. 96 00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:24,813 My mom was not, like, 97 00:02:24,813 --> 00:02:25,922 on the floor playing with us. 98 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:28,658 I feel like I'm ready 99 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:28,658 to commit to Chris 100 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:32,893 and move forward, 101 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:32,893 but to ask him if he's down 102 00:02:32,161 --> 00:02:36,966 for marrying me some day 103 00:02:32,161 --> 00:02:36,966 and possibly having a family? 104 00:02:36,999 --> 00:02:39,569 We've never talked 105 00:02:36,999 --> 00:02:39,569 about things like that. 106 00:02:39,602 --> 00:02:41,871 We could still do what we've 107 00:02:39,602 --> 00:02:41,871 been doing, but, you know, 108 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:43,372 with contracts involved. 109 00:02:43,406 --> 00:02:46,023 - Does Brenna want kids? 110 00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:47,443 - Mm... 111 00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:47,443 Look. 112 00:02:47,477 --> 00:02:50,146 By the time we have kids, 113 00:02:47,477 --> 00:02:50,146 she'll be an adult. 114 00:02:50,179 --> 00:02:52,815 [laughter] 115 00:02:52,848 --> 00:02:54,449 - She's 25. 116 00:02:56,319 --> 00:02:57,820 - When I play guitar 117 00:02:56,319 --> 00:02:57,820 and sing in my house, 118 00:02:57,854 --> 00:02:59,288 like, 119 00:02:57,854 --> 00:02:59,288 it's an embarrassing thing. 120 00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:00,857 I don't really like him 121 00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:00,857 to overhear it. 122 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,692 I'd rather you hear me 123 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,692 masturbating, honestly, 124 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,427 'cause it sounds 125 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,427 pretty masturbatory. 126 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,563 - Yeah, I don't know 127 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,563 what's the difference. 128 00:03:06,563 --> 00:03:08,331 [both laugh] 129 00:03:08,364 --> 00:03:10,533 - My howls-- 130 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,734 my lonesome howls. 131 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,734 - Yeah, I was like, 132 00:03:11,768 --> 00:03:13,336 "Man, 133 00:03:11,768 --> 00:03:13,336 she hit that note finally." 134 00:03:13,369 --> 00:03:14,504 - Yeah. 135 00:03:14,537 --> 00:03:17,740 [calm music] 136 00:03:17,774 --> 00:03:19,575 * 137 00:03:19,609 --> 00:03:21,310 [knocking] 138 00:03:19,609 --> 00:03:21,310 [dogs barking] 139 00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:22,178 - It's you. 140 00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:22,178 Come on in. 141 00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:23,679 - Hey, Julie. 142 00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:23,679 - Hey! 143 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:25,381 - Hi, how are you? 144 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:25,381 - Dad, this is Arya. 145 00:03:25,415 --> 00:03:26,549 - Hey, Arya. 146 00:03:25,415 --> 00:03:26,549 - Nice to meet you. 147 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,151 - Nice to meet you. 148 00:03:28,184 --> 00:03:30,386 - Hi! 149 00:03:28,184 --> 00:03:30,386 - Hi! 150 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,921 So good to see you. 151 00:03:31,954 --> 00:03:34,843 - Hey, Luigi, please. 152 00:03:31,954 --> 00:03:34,843 - Luigi, quit it. 153 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:35,191 Just stop it. 154 00:03:35,223 --> 00:03:36,492 - You have a lovely home. 155 00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:38,895 - Oh, my gosh. 156 00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:38,895 Thank you for being here. 157 00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,896 - Absolutely. 158 00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,896 - I wanna be taken seriously 159 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,399 as a singer, 160 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,399 so I actually started taking 161 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:46,769 singing lessons 162 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:46,769 a couple months ago with Arya, 163 00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:50,206 and...we haven't 164 00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:50,206 really done much singing. 165 00:03:50,239 --> 00:03:52,775 [chimes chiming] 166 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:54,811 You really have awesome skin. 167 00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,646 I'm not a Christian 168 00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,646 or anything like that. 169 00:03:56,679 --> 00:03:58,181 - Sure, sure. 170 00:03:56,679 --> 00:03:58,181 - But, just like, mother nature 171 00:03:58,214 --> 00:03:59,215 give me a sign. 172 00:03:58,214 --> 00:03:59,215 - Right. 173 00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:00,583 Universe, give me a sign. 174 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,418 - My coach and I 175 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,418 have just become friends, 176 00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:05,221 and I haven't sang 177 00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:05,221 one note yet. 178 00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:08,691 I guess what I would love for 179 00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:08,691 you to help us with today, 180 00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:10,593 because we are performing 181 00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:10,593 a song-- 182 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,794 - You guys both are? 183 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,794 Together? 184 00:04:11,828 --> 00:04:13,329 - Yeah, I'm doing 185 00:04:11,828 --> 00:04:13,329 a live podcasts tonight. 186 00:04:13,362 --> 00:04:15,598 - I just learned it 187 00:04:13,362 --> 00:04:15,598 15 minutes ago. 188 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,667 - Yeah, I mean, 189 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,667 I learned this song too. 190 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:20,643 But, you know, 191 00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:20,643 I've only sang it one day. 192 00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:24,640 * There's a red truck sittin' 193 00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:24,640 under a street lamp * 194 00:04:24,674 --> 00:04:27,176 * Full of dents and rust 195 00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:29,245 * The bed is empty 196 00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:30,847 I'll be singing the bulk of it, 197 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,448 but then, 198 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,448 my dad and I want to work 199 00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:34,250 on some harmonies 200 00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:34,250 for the chorus. 201 00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:35,952 - Absolutely, absolutely. 202 00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,823 - Can I have 203 00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,823 some vocal warm-ups, maybe, 204 00:04:38,823 --> 00:04:39,389 that would help? 205 00:04:39,422 --> 00:04:41,853 - Yeah. 206 00:04:39,422 --> 00:04:41,853 Do you have a keyboard, or a-- 207 00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:42,158 - Yeah, right over here. 208 00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:43,593 - We have 209 00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:43,593 a tiny piano over there. 210 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:47,363 It's my first time singing 211 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:47,363 a sincere original song 212 00:04:47,397 --> 00:04:53,936 in front of people, 213 00:04:47,397 --> 00:04:53,936 and I am feeling nervous. 214 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:57,673 I'm a beginner. 215 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:57,673 I don't think I'm Adele. 216 00:04:57,707 --> 00:05:00,276 I think I'm a Dell computer... 217 00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:02,278 that the speakers 218 00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:02,278 are blown out. 219 00:05:02,311 --> 00:05:04,747 * Ah ah ah ah ah 220 00:05:04,781 --> 00:05:06,949 * Ah ah ah 221 00:05:04,781 --> 00:05:06,949 ah ah * 222 00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:09,463 * Brr 223 00:05:09,463 --> 00:05:11,154 * Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah 224 00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:13,456 * Ah ah ah ah ah 225 00:05:13,489 --> 00:05:16,159 * Brr 226 00:05:13,489 --> 00:05:16,159 - Come on. 227 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,553 * Brr 228 00:05:18,553 --> 00:05:19,529 - All right, all right. 229 00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:20,663 - I haven't smoked weed 230 00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:20,663 for two months, 231 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,298 and my voice 232 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,298 has not changed at all. 233 00:05:22,331 --> 00:05:24,534 Like, 234 00:05:22,331 --> 00:05:24,534 it just feels like I still-- 235 00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:26,302 like, it's impossible. 236 00:05:26,335 --> 00:05:30,206 - Yeah, it is possible. 237 00:05:26,335 --> 00:05:30,206 - So frustrating. 238 00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:31,574 - Oh, Nikki. 239 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:34,510 - I just hate sounding bad. 240 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:34,510 - You sound great. 241 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,179 - I know, but I can't 242 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,179 hit these high notes. 243 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:38,581 I just wanna be Taylor Swift, 244 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:38,581 and I can't. 245 00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:40,316 - [laughs] 246 00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:40,316 - I just won't ever be able 247 00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:41,818 to sing. 248 00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:41,818 - You're not gonna-- 249 00:05:41,851 --> 00:05:43,986 - Just sing a lower octave. 250 00:05:41,851 --> 00:05:43,986 - In these songs, 251 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,254 you're not gonna 252 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,254 be singing that high. 253 00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:47,690 - But I can't even hit octaves 254 00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:47,690 she hits in her low octaves. 255 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:49,325 - Well, 256 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:49,325 you have a different voice. 257 00:05:49,358 --> 00:05:50,693 - But I want-- 258 00:05:49,358 --> 00:05:50,693 - I can't sing 259 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,695 like Frankie Valli, 260 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,695 but big deal. 261 00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:54,897 - I don't have the best voice. 262 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,599 Can we sing the other song? 263 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,599 - Please. 264 00:05:56,632 --> 00:05:58,952 I would love 265 00:05:56,632 --> 00:05:58,952 to hear the other song. 266 00:05:58,952 --> 00:05:59,769 - There is a rasp, honey, 267 00:05:59,802 --> 00:06:02,323 'cause I smoked for many years. 268 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,333 I just, like, seem like 269 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,576 I'm an old, like, 270 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:06,576 you know, talent agent. 271 00:06:06,609 --> 00:06:09,545 [guitar playing] 272 00:06:09,579 --> 00:06:11,714 * 273 00:06:11,748 --> 00:06:16,185 * Tell me something, Dad 274 00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:21,157 * What did I do to make you 275 00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:21,157 so damn mad? * 276 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,860 * This song's 277 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,860 off the deep end * 278 00:06:23,893 --> 00:06:26,229 * Where did we go wrong? 279 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:30,967 * I want us to get along 280 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,002 - * It's too late 281 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,002 for that now * 282 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:35,605 * I'm kicking you out now 283 00:06:35,638 --> 00:06:38,841 * And I'm gonna bang 284 00:06:35,638 --> 00:06:38,841 your mom * 285 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,309 * 286 00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:41,978 * I'm gonna bang 287 00:06:42,011 --> 00:06:44,914 * I'm gonna bang your mom 288 00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:49,952 - * I've heard you bang, 289 00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:49,952 I've heard you bang my mom * 290 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:51,587 * I've heard her moans 291 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:51,587 - That's not nice. 292 00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:54,590 - * Because we share a wall 293 00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:58,261 * This is my impression 294 00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:58,261 of Mom * 295 00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:00,263 - Oh, God. 296 00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:00,263 I can hear this. 297 00:07:00,296 --> 00:07:05,301 - * Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh 298 00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:08,204 * Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh 299 00:07:08,237 --> 00:07:09,839 * Ah-ah-ah 300 00:07:09,872 --> 00:07:15,778 * Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah 301 00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:18,281 * This song is so gross now 302 00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:20,683 * The end must be close now 303 00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:20,683 - * Must be close now 304 00:07:20,717 --> 00:07:24,754 both: * Where do we go 305 00:07:20,717 --> 00:07:24,754 from here? * 306 00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:25,955 - * We gotta go 307 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,624 * We gotta end this show 308 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:33,196 * Grandma's got 309 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:33,196 another sailor to blow * 310 00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:35,593 - [sighs] 311 00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:35,593 - What the ----? 312 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,166 - That is awful. 313 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,000 - That's every bit of hilarious 314 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,000 and more. 315 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,663 - Thanks. 316 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,663 - When did you write that? 317 00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:43,339 - Last summer. 318 00:07:43,372 --> 00:07:45,608 - My mom would love this. 319 00:07:43,372 --> 00:07:45,608 She had a good sense of humor. 320 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:46,509 - Yeah, yeah. 321 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:46,509 - She'd definitely approve. 322 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:48,144 - What about your wife... 323 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:48,144 - And it's true. 324 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,912 - And what about your mother? 325 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,912 About your mother? 326 00:07:49,946 --> 00:07:51,581 - Oh, yeah, would you check 327 00:07:49,946 --> 00:07:51,581 with Mom? She's alive. 328 00:07:51,614 --> 00:07:52,949 You can actually check 329 00:07:51,614 --> 00:07:52,949 with Mom. 330 00:07:52,982 --> 00:07:53,950 - I'm alive. 331 00:07:52,982 --> 00:07:53,950 I'm right here. 332 00:07:53,983 --> 00:07:55,793 - We know you're fine 333 00:07:53,983 --> 00:07:55,793 with it. 334 00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:57,153 - Ah, great. 335 00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:57,153 [laughter] 336 00:08:04,213 --> 00:08:05,194 - Facials! 337 00:08:05,228 --> 00:08:06,262 It's like the spa. 338 00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:07,930 - Oh, my God. 339 00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,565 - [laughs] 340 00:08:09,599 --> 00:08:11,267 - This ain't too bad. 341 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,403 - Do you think facialists 342 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,403 really wanna put, like, 343 00:08:13,436 --> 00:08:14,670 eyes here 344 00:08:13,436 --> 00:08:14,670 and, like, do that top? 345 00:08:14,704 --> 00:08:16,539 - Oh, my God, that is so fun. 346 00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,683 Oh, I got some eyes. 347 00:08:19,023 --> 00:08:19,342 - Okay, this is weird. 348 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:20,643 - Just stay still. 349 00:08:20,676 --> 00:08:22,145 - Wait, now smoke a cigarette. 350 00:08:20,676 --> 00:08:22,145 - Here we go. 351 00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:23,579 - [laughs] 352 00:08:23,613 --> 00:08:24,981 - Mrs. Featherbottom. 353 00:08:25,423 --> 00:08:26,916 - [British accent] 354 00:08:25,423 --> 00:08:26,916 What are you girls doing? 355 00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:30,473 - You can't smoke inside, 356 00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:30,473 ma'am. 357 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:32,587 - Oh, this cigarette's 358 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:32,587 delicious. 359 00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:34,756 - Ma'am, your driver's 360 00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:34,756 waiting out back. 361 00:08:34,791 --> 00:08:37,592 - [laughs] 362 00:08:34,791 --> 00:08:37,592 Okay, are you girls done? 363 00:08:37,627 --> 00:08:38,928 - Yes. 364 00:08:38,961 --> 00:08:41,597 - [normally] This has gone 365 00:08:38,961 --> 00:08:41,597 off the track. 366 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,700 [upbeat music] 367 00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,335 - Am I supposed 368 00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,335 to be doing anything? 369 00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:47,670 - You can paddle. 370 00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:50,173 - You know what--an issue 371 00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:50,173 I have with canoeing? 372 00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:52,013 - What is it? 373 00:08:51,174 --> 00:08:53,309 - That you always gotta keep 374 00:08:51,174 --> 00:08:53,309 switching sides. 375 00:08:53,342 --> 00:08:54,744 - You actually don't. 376 00:08:53,342 --> 00:08:54,744 If you look at me, 377 00:08:54,777 --> 00:08:56,245 I'm doing the J stroke. 378 00:08:56,279 --> 00:08:58,347 Because I'm missing 379 00:08:56,279 --> 00:08:58,347 a muscle on my left side, 380 00:08:58,381 --> 00:08:59,849 I always paddle on the right. 381 00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:01,417 There's also something 382 00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:01,417 in the front 383 00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:03,720 called a cross-bow 384 00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:03,720 draw stroke, 385 00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:05,588 which is really cool. 386 00:09:05,621 --> 00:09:07,256 - Cool. 387 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,158 My dad loves the outdoors. 388 00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:10,426 He loves adventure. 389 00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:10,426 He loves canoeing. 390 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:11,961 He loves trees. 391 00:09:12,223 --> 00:09:13,863 He loves eagles. 392 00:09:12,223 --> 00:09:13,863 He loves hawks. 393 00:09:13,896 --> 00:09:16,232 He loves every single thing 394 00:09:13,896 --> 00:09:16,232 about the outdoors. 395 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,834 - Listen. 396 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,202 [distant birds calling] 397 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,202 Hear that? 398 00:09:19,235 --> 00:09:21,313 - No! 399 00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:24,273 And I don't care 400 00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:24,273 about the outdoors. 401 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:26,442 Did Mom like outdoors 402 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:26,442 when you first met her, 403 00:09:26,476 --> 00:09:28,383 or did you get her into it? 404 00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,713 - Um...kind of got her 405 00:09:28,383 --> 00:09:30,713 into it, I guess. 406 00:09:30,747 --> 00:09:33,433 - When did you know Mom 407 00:09:30,747 --> 00:09:33,433 was the one? 408 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,717 When you got her pregnant? 409 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,717 - I had to work-- 410 00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,285 - Just kidding. 411 00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,285 - [laughs] 412 00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,588 - How soon did you ask 413 00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,588 if she wanted to have kids? 414 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:39,856 - Pretty quickly, 415 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:39,856 'cause if she didn't, 416 00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,853 I would just move on. 417 00:09:41,157 --> 00:09:43,326 - How do you deal 418 00:09:41,157 --> 00:09:43,326 with conflict with Mom? 419 00:09:43,359 --> 00:09:45,161 Do you tell her right away? 420 00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:46,229 - Uh, yeah. 421 00:09:46,262 --> 00:09:49,599 - I mean, I do keep my mouth 422 00:09:46,262 --> 00:09:49,599 shut a lot of times. 423 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,613 When it's someone 424 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,613 I don't like romantically, 425 00:09:51,613 --> 00:09:53,836 I can stand up for myself 426 00:09:51,613 --> 00:09:53,836 anytime, 427 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:56,739 but when 428 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:56,739 it's a romantic pursuit, 429 00:09:56,773 --> 00:09:58,975 it becomes literally impossible 430 00:09:59,008 --> 00:10:02,945 because I just am so awkward 431 00:09:59,008 --> 00:10:02,945 when it comes to romance. 432 00:10:02,979 --> 00:10:06,482 Asking the guy you're dating 433 00:10:02,979 --> 00:10:06,482 and sleeping with now 434 00:10:06,516 --> 00:10:09,685 about your future and marriage 435 00:10:06,516 --> 00:10:09,685 and kids 436 00:10:09,719 --> 00:10:11,154 and all of these things 437 00:10:11,187 --> 00:10:13,833 that I should probably 438 00:10:11,187 --> 00:10:13,833 already know the answers to-- 439 00:10:13,156 --> 00:10:16,225 it's really scary, 440 00:10:13,156 --> 00:10:16,225 and I wanna be the cool girl. 441 00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:17,160 I don't wanna be the girl 442 00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,494 that's pressuring a guy 443 00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,494 to get married. 444 00:10:18,528 --> 00:10:20,263 Guys hate that girl. 445 00:10:20,296 --> 00:10:24,233 That's why I'm, like, excited 446 00:10:20,296 --> 00:10:24,233 about Chris more than ever. 447 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:27,036 I just feel like 448 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:27,036 he thinks the world of me, 449 00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:28,905 and like I know he loves me. 450 00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:30,807 - Look at this battleship. 451 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,776 - What? 452 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,776 - Look at to the right. 453 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,723 - Okay, that actually is cool 454 00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:36,243 and worthy 455 00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:36,243 of interrupting my... 456 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,513 - That is a battle--[laughs] 457 00:10:37,547 --> 00:10:38,881 - Emotional... 458 00:10:37,547 --> 00:10:38,881 - That is so cool. 459 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,650 Look at that. 460 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,650 - Story. 461 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,952 - So you were saying, 462 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,952 with Chris... 463 00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:45,254 - He's so great and so-- 464 00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:45,254 he's always there for me. 465 00:10:45,288 --> 00:10:47,490 - Look how cool that is. 466 00:10:45,288 --> 00:10:47,490 You know, I read about this. 467 00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:48,925 They have battleship wars. 468 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,259 There's another one 469 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,259 over there. 470 00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:53,396 - I feel like one's going 471 00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:53,396 in my heart right now. 472 00:10:54,764 --> 00:10:56,899 Not to make this not romantic, 473 00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,835 but you're just a good... 474 00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,570 - We're a good team. 475 00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,570 - You're a good teammate. 476 00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:02,305 He gets me out of my head and-- 477 00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:02,305 - I'm good for perspective. 478 00:11:02,338 --> 00:11:03,206 - Yeah. 479 00:11:03,239 --> 00:11:05,274 Anybody could've helped 480 00:11:03,239 --> 00:11:05,274 Nikki with that. 481 00:11:05,308 --> 00:11:06,809 They just had to-- 482 00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:09,545 - But they don't have sex 483 00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:09,545 with me at the same time. 484 00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:11,481 Your perspective is my back. 485 00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:13,549 - No! 486 00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:13,549 Stop! 487 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:15,351 Come on. 488 00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:17,687 [both laughing] 489 00:11:18,821 --> 00:11:21,891 [upbeat music] 490 00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:22,925 - Julie, what do you think 491 00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:22,925 about one of these 492 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,894 in our house? 493 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,894 - Don't touch it. 494 00:11:24,927 --> 00:11:26,562 - Hi! 495 00:11:24,927 --> 00:11:26,562 How's it going? 496 00:11:26,596 --> 00:11:27,730 - Good. 497 00:11:26,596 --> 00:11:27,730 How are you? 498 00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:28,765 - Are you guys coming 499 00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:28,765 to the show? 500 00:11:28,798 --> 00:11:30,166 Nice! 501 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:33,269 - Oh, look at this mirror. 502 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:33,269 Did you see this mirror? 503 00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:36,906 - Yeah. 504 00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:36,906 If you want body dysmorphia... 505 00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:38,975 - That's great. 506 00:11:36,939 --> 00:11:38,975 Look, Jules, look. 507 00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:40,543 - This is so 508 00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:40,543 Hank Williams, Jr. 509 00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,345 - What about it? 510 00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:44,847 Do you think I haven't seen 511 00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:44,847 one of these mirrors before? 512 00:11:44,881 --> 00:11:46,783 Like, how old are you? 513 00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:48,251 - 7:00. 514 00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:48,251 Showtime. 515 00:11:48,284 --> 00:11:50,520 Nikki, I'm gonna have 516 00:11:48,284 --> 00:11:50,520 to plug in our stuff. 517 00:11:50,553 --> 00:11:51,754 - Okay. 518 00:11:50,553 --> 00:11:51,754 - Yeah. 519 00:11:51,788 --> 00:11:53,156 Andrew, are you ready? 520 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:54,390 - We gotta go sit down. 521 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:54,390 - We gotta go sit down. 522 00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:55,491 - You know I always am. 523 00:11:55,525 --> 00:11:56,993 * 524 00:11:57,026 --> 00:11:58,928 - Hi. 525 00:11:57,026 --> 00:11:58,928 Are you Arya? 526 00:11:58,961 --> 00:11:59,929 - I am. 527 00:11:58,961 --> 00:11:59,929 - I'm Chris. 528 00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,330 Did I say that right? 529 00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,330 - It's nice to meet you. 530 00:12:01,364 --> 00:12:02,632 - Nice to meet you. 531 00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:04,000 - This is Noa. 532 00:12:04,613 --> 00:12:06,502 She's a producer 533 00:12:04,613 --> 00:12:06,502 on Nikki's podcast. 534 00:12:06,536 --> 00:12:08,653 [soft guitar music] 535 00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:09,539 - * Have you ever done 536 00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:09,539 a podcast? * 537 00:12:09,572 --> 00:12:10,873 - * I have 538 00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:12,442 - * Have you ever done 539 00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:12,442 a live one? * 540 00:12:12,475 --> 00:12:13,609 - * I have 541 00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:15,545 - * I'm about to go out there 542 00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:17,914 * And I'm experiencing 543 00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:17,914 stage fright * 544 00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:19,816 [music winds down] 545 00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:21,784 I believe in living 546 00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:21,784 your dreams, 547 00:12:21,818 --> 00:12:23,252 but I just don't wanna be 548 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:26,622 the actress who switches 549 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:26,622 to singing, and everyone goes, 550 00:12:26,656 --> 00:12:28,491 "Mm, stick to what 551 00:12:26,656 --> 00:12:28,491 you're good at." 552 00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:30,026 Okay, I'm ready. 553 00:12:30,873 --> 00:12:33,362 Like, I don't wanna hear 554 00:12:30,873 --> 00:12:33,362 Taylor Swift do comedy. 555 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:35,264 [indistinct announcement] 556 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:35,264 - Here we go. 557 00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:36,666 And I fear that Taylor Swift 558 00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:36,666 would be better at comedy 559 00:12:36,699 --> 00:12:37,867 than me right out of the gate, 560 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,470 because she's good 561 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,470 at everything. 562 00:12:41,037 --> 00:12:42,638 - And here's Nikki! 563 00:12:42,672 --> 00:12:46,275 [cheers and applause] 564 00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:57,887 [upbeat music] 565 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,289 - Here's Nikki! 566 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,289 [cheers and applause] 567 00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:04,627 - Welcome to "The Nikki Glaser 568 00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:04,627 Podcast" Live Edition! 569 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,573 [cheers and applause] 570 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,573 Oh, my God! 571 00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,600 Noa, how are we feeling? 572 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:13,002 - This is unbelievable, Nikki. 573 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:13,002 - It's so exciting. 574 00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,571 Uh, you texted me, 575 00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,571 "Mandy's here," 576 00:13:15,605 --> 00:13:17,573 and I was like, "Who's Mandy?" 577 00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:19,693 And you go, "The masseuse." 578 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:20,910 She's going to join us 579 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:20,910 on stage, 580 00:13:20,943 --> 00:13:23,146 and she's just gonna rub 581 00:13:20,943 --> 00:13:23,146 my feet during the show, 582 00:13:23,179 --> 00:13:24,514 if that's okay with people, 583 00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:26,516 because embracing my bunions 584 00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:26,516 has been very hard. 585 00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:28,418 Mandy, come on up, 586 00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:28,418 but please don't speak. 587 00:13:28,451 --> 00:13:30,286 [cheers and applause] 588 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:32,288 I'm just kidding. 589 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:32,288 Welcome Mandy to the stage. 590 00:13:32,321 --> 00:13:34,190 Hi, Mandy. 591 00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:36,492 Thank you so much. 592 00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:36,492 This is, like, amazing. 593 00:13:36,526 --> 00:13:39,362 I am so excited for this. 594 00:13:36,526 --> 00:13:39,362 You're welcome. 595 00:13:39,395 --> 00:13:42,923 [laughter] 596 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,801 Should we bring in... 597 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,801 Andrew! 598 00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:47,303 [cheers and applause] 599 00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:50,173 - Hey, hey. 600 00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:50,173 Buddy, hey. 601 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:52,308 Hey! 602 00:13:52,341 --> 00:13:53,943 * 603 00:13:53,976 --> 00:13:55,511 Have you ever seen 604 00:13:53,976 --> 00:13:55,511 a foot like this? 605 00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:56,813 Her dad has the same foot, 606 00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:56,813 I learned. 607 00:13:56,846 --> 00:13:58,314 - This bunion's even bigger. 608 00:14:00,349 --> 00:14:02,552 Okay, so I went over 609 00:14:00,349 --> 00:14:02,552 to my parents' house 610 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:05,688 and had a singing lesson 611 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:05,688 with my new best friend, Arya, 612 00:14:05,722 --> 00:14:07,690 to coach me and my dad 613 00:14:05,722 --> 00:14:07,690 on a song 614 00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:08,691 because there might be 615 00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:08,691 some music 616 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:10,543 later on in the show. 617 00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:11,594 It makes me feel 618 00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:11,594 really insecure 619 00:14:11,627 --> 00:14:13,329 when I'm singing 620 00:14:11,627 --> 00:14:13,329 in front of people. 621 00:14:13,362 --> 00:14:16,399 I would literally rather do, 622 00:14:13,362 --> 00:14:16,399 like, a donkey show 623 00:14:16,432 --> 00:14:18,167 than this. 624 00:14:18,201 --> 00:14:19,969 But I just have to remember, 625 00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:20,970 doing stand-up 626 00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:20,970 for the first time 627 00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,005 my freshman year of college, 628 00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,005 I was so nervous, 629 00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:24,340 because a lot 630 00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:24,340 was riding on this. 631 00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:26,175 This didn't work out, 632 00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:26,175 I didn't-- 633 00:14:26,209 --> 00:14:27,677 I don't know 634 00:14:26,209 --> 00:14:27,677 what I was gonna do. 635 00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:29,445 Oh, my dad called me today, 636 00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:31,714 and he told me 637 00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:31,714 that he really wants me 638 00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:34,217 to stop smoking so much pot. 639 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,019 He thinks I'm losing interest 640 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,019 in things that I once loved, 641 00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:39,222 which--completely not true, 642 00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:41,691 because I still, like, love 643 00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:41,691 smoking pot. 644 00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:44,883 [laughter] 645 00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,462 I remember having my jokes 646 00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,462 on a little piece of paper 647 00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:48,598 that was, like, soaked 648 00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:48,598 in sweat, 649 00:14:48,631 --> 00:14:49,966 and as soon as I got 650 00:14:48,631 --> 00:14:49,966 my first laugh, 651 00:14:49,999 --> 00:14:51,033 I was like, "Okay, I got this." 652 00:14:51,953 --> 00:14:53,302 So with singing, 653 00:14:51,953 --> 00:14:53,302 that's all I want. 654 00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,471 We have just a little more show 655 00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,471 left for you, 656 00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:57,907 and it's gonna change the tone 657 00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:57,907 a little bit. 658 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,475 Dad, do you wanna set up? 659 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:00,910 - Sure. 660 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:00,910 - Okay, my dad, EJ, 661 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,403 is gonna play a song with me. 662 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,763 Thank you, Andrew! 663 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,763 Thank you, Noa. 664 00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:08,618 [soft guitar music] 665 00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:10,920 - It's a really good song, 666 00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:10,920 by the way. Matt-- 667 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,755 - I love that you have to tell 668 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,755 them that. 669 00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:16,533 - No, he's a hell 670 00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:16,533 of a songwriter. 671 00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,227 - * There's a red truck 672 00:15:18,261 --> 00:15:20,763 * Sitting under a streetlamp 673 00:15:20,797 --> 00:15:23,733 * Full of dents and rust 674 00:15:23,766 --> 00:15:25,234 * But my bed is empty 675 00:15:25,268 --> 00:15:27,370 * It's the same deal 676 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:30,206 * Up in this hotel room 677 00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:32,175 * I've been known to feel 678 00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:34,777 * More than my manager 679 00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:34,777 tells me * 680 00:15:34,811 --> 00:15:38,915 * And I'm praying to you 681 00:15:38,948 --> 00:15:42,793 * St. Lou 682 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:47,790 both: * I'm praying to you, 683 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:47,790 St. Lou * 684 00:15:47,824 --> 00:15:50,873 * 685 00:15:50,873 --> 00:15:53,029 [cheers and applause] 686 00:15:53,903 --> 00:15:55,431 - Thank you, thank you. 687 00:15:55,465 --> 00:15:57,567 I'm actually really proud 688 00:15:55,465 --> 00:15:57,567 of myself 689 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,963 singing about St. Louis. 690 00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:02,323 The song is amazing, 691 00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:02,323 and I also love St. Louis 692 00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:03,940 because my family's here. 693 00:16:03,973 --> 00:16:05,693 - You can sing. 694 00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:06,442 - Ugh, thank you. 695 00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:06,442 - Yeah. 696 00:16:06,476 --> 00:16:09,278 - Girl, oh, my gosh. 697 00:16:06,476 --> 00:16:09,278 Thank you. 698 00:16:09,312 --> 00:16:10,480 Although it wasn't perfect, 699 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:12,423 and I could pick it apart 700 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:12,423 to pieces, like, 701 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:13,483 I'm never gonna sound 702 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:13,483 like Adele 703 00:16:13,516 --> 00:16:14,984 or Ariana Grande, 704 00:16:15,453 --> 00:16:17,487 but you don't really have 705 00:16:15,453 --> 00:16:17,487 to sound perfect. 706 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,843 You just have to sound 707 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,843 like you. 708 00:16:20,156 --> 00:16:21,357 - Lay-nay. 709 00:16:21,391 --> 00:16:22,558 - Thank you so much 710 00:16:21,391 --> 00:16:22,558 for coming. 711 00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:23,326 - Oh, yeah, of course. 712 00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,553 I was right here 713 00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,553 the whole time. 714 00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:26,729 Did you have fun? 715 00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:26,729 - Yeah, it was fun. 716 00:16:26,763 --> 00:16:27,864 - I mean, the song was great. 717 00:16:27,897 --> 00:16:28,865 - Thank you. 718 00:16:27,897 --> 00:16:28,865 - Yeah. 719 00:16:28,898 --> 00:16:30,943 - Thank you. 720 00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:31,467 Good to see you. 721 00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:32,568 - Good night. 722 00:16:32,602 --> 00:16:35,471 * 723 00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:37,173 - Oh, my gosh, 724 00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:37,173 I love your shirt. 725 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,475 - You guys were so awesome 726 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,475 when you sang that song. 727 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:40,843 Like, I started crying. 728 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:40,843 You guys were so great. 729 00:16:40,877 --> 00:16:42,011 - Really? 730 00:16:40,877 --> 00:16:42,011 - Yeah. 731 00:16:42,723 --> 00:16:43,733 - Thank you! 732 00:16:42,723 --> 00:16:43,733 - You're amazing. 733 00:16:43,146 --> 00:16:44,647 - Thank you. 734 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,282 Bye, girl. 735 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:47,984 - Too bad her zipper 736 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:47,984 was down. 737 00:16:48,017 --> 00:16:49,986 [laughing] 738 00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:51,421 I should've told her. 739 00:16:58,728 --> 00:17:03,273 [upbeat music] 740 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:05,200 - Oh, mother of God! 741 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:07,642 Jesus Christ. 742 00:17:07,973 --> 00:17:08,938 [sly music] 743 00:17:08,971 --> 00:17:10,806 Hello? 744 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,275 Hello! 745 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,275 - Hey. 746 00:17:12,308 --> 00:17:13,776 - You brought me presents? 747 00:17:12,308 --> 00:17:13,776 - No, it's not for you. 748 00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,645 It's for Andrew. 749 00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,645 - What? 750 00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:17,146 - How you doing? 751 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,181 - Hi! 752 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,181 - How's a gal? 753 00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:20,783 - How do they look? 754 00:17:20,816 --> 00:17:22,793 - Pretty good, actually. 755 00:17:22,151 --> 00:17:23,820 I'm doing, like, multi-colors. 756 00:17:22,151 --> 00:17:23,820 - Are you doing-- 757 00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:25,588 - Have you ever painted a nail? 758 00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:28,491 - We did something 759 00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:28,491 that you were like, very-- 760 00:17:28,524 --> 00:17:29,826 - Makeup? 761 00:17:29,859 --> 00:17:31,553 - Maybe it was makeup. 762 00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:32,295 - I just love putting on makeup 763 00:17:32,328 --> 00:17:35,198 'cause guys can look better 764 00:17:32,328 --> 00:17:35,198 with, like, slight makeup. 765 00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:36,866 - Yeah, like what? 766 00:17:36,899 --> 00:17:39,202 - Like, if--I would just define 767 00:17:36,899 --> 00:17:39,202 your brows a little bit more. 768 00:17:39,235 --> 00:17:40,369 - What's that supposed to mean? 769 00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:42,205 - They're undefined, 770 00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:42,205 just like us. 771 00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:44,340 [light music] 772 00:17:44,373 --> 00:17:46,008 - That's really funny. 773 00:17:46,703 --> 00:17:47,744 - What did you bring Andrew? 774 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,512 - Because I've come over here 775 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,512 and tried to make a pizza, 776 00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:51,753 and I feel like he's desperate 777 00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:51,753 for it, 778 00:17:51,147 --> 00:17:54,183 this guy, 779 00:17:51,147 --> 00:17:54,183 and then a pizza cutter. 780 00:17:54,217 --> 00:17:56,803 - Thank you so much! 781 00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:58,388 I'm so tired of watching him 782 00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:58,388 saw at things 783 00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:01,424 with a knife that's made 784 00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:01,424 to, like, cut fruit. 785 00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:03,860 - It's kind of humiliating. 786 00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:03,860 There's a tool for every job. 787 00:18:03,893 --> 00:18:05,223 - Yeah. 788 00:18:05,223 --> 00:18:06,362 - Oh, did you see Poppy 789 00:18:05,223 --> 00:18:06,362 and Arlo? 790 00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:07,563 - Yeah. 791 00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:07,563 - How'd that go? 792 00:18:07,597 --> 00:18:08,364 - It was so cute. 793 00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:09,899 - Yeah? 794 00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:09,899 - They like me so much. 795 00:18:09,932 --> 00:18:11,334 - Yeah! 796 00:18:09,932 --> 00:18:11,334 - So nice. 797 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:12,201 I always think 798 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:12,201 they're gonna forget me. 799 00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:13,336 - When was the last time 800 00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:13,336 you saw them? 801 00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:14,904 - At Lauren's baby sprinkle. 802 00:18:14,937 --> 00:18:16,239 Hi! 803 00:18:16,272 --> 00:18:18,207 When I see you, 804 00:18:16,272 --> 00:18:18,207 I want more of you, 805 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:20,610 but I'm not guaranteed 806 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:20,610 to get one like you. 807 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:25,214 And my sister's pregnant A-F. 808 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:25,214 She's so pregnant. 809 00:18:25,248 --> 00:18:26,716 How often do you see 810 00:18:25,248 --> 00:18:26,716 your niece and nephew? 811 00:18:26,749 --> 00:18:28,518 I think you see them, like, 812 00:18:26,749 --> 00:18:28,518 every day, don't you? 813 00:18:28,551 --> 00:18:30,473 - Not every day, 814 00:18:28,551 --> 00:18:30,473 but pretty often. 815 00:18:30,473 --> 00:18:31,687 - Do you want kids? 816 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:35,892 - Uh, I think 817 00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:35,892 I could be convinced on kids, 818 00:18:35,925 --> 00:18:38,261 which I know is not the best. 819 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:41,264 - I've honed an ability 820 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:41,264 to ask men questions 821 00:18:41,297 --> 00:18:43,866 that I'm deeply invested 822 00:18:41,297 --> 00:18:43,866 in knowing the answers to 823 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,953 in a way that makes it seem 824 00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:46,602 like, "Oh, I don't care 825 00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:46,602 about the answer. 826 00:18:46,636 --> 00:18:48,204 "Like, it's just a thing 827 00:18:46,636 --> 00:18:48,204 I thought of. 828 00:18:48,237 --> 00:18:49,605 "I haven't been thinking 829 00:18:48,237 --> 00:18:49,605 about this for weeks 830 00:18:49,639 --> 00:18:51,683 "and, like, working up 831 00:18:49,639 --> 00:18:51,683 the courage to ask you. 832 00:18:51,683 --> 00:18:52,241 "I'm not really serious. 833 00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:53,810 "Do you wanna be 834 00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:53,810 with me forever, like... 835 00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:55,344 "This is, like, Facebook quiz. 836 00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:55,344 Do you wanna take it? 837 00:18:55,378 --> 00:18:57,814 Like, do you, like, love me?" 838 00:18:57,847 --> 00:18:59,615 So, like, with you and me, 839 00:18:59,649 --> 00:19:00,750 do you ever think 840 00:18:59,649 --> 00:19:00,750 about, how... 841 00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:01,918 - No. 842 00:19:00,783 --> 00:19:01,918 - Like, my thoughts about-- 843 00:19:01,951 --> 00:19:03,252 [laughs] 844 00:19:03,286 --> 00:19:04,554 - [laughs] 845 00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:07,724 - I'll pretend not to be 846 00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:07,724 deeply offended 847 00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:11,794 by the ease at which that joke 848 00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:11,794 came out of your mouth. 849 00:19:11,828 --> 00:19:14,913 But do you ever think 850 00:19:11,828 --> 00:19:14,913 about that with us? 851 00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:16,899 - With what? 852 00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:19,969 - Of us having kids. 853 00:19:20,303 --> 00:19:21,804 [lightly edgy music] 854 00:19:21,838 --> 00:19:22,605 - Um, yeah, I would. 855 00:19:22,638 --> 00:19:26,442 I would do, like, anything 856 00:19:22,638 --> 00:19:26,442 for... 857 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,312 like, the person 858 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,312 that I ended up with or... 859 00:19:31,314 --> 00:19:34,150 You know, and I think 860 00:19:31,314 --> 00:19:34,150 that having kids 861 00:19:34,183 --> 00:19:36,652 could be a lot of fun. 862 00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:38,421 - All right. 863 00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:40,556 Just wanted to throw it 864 00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:40,556 out there. 865 00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,425 - I would say-- 866 00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,425 - Listen, I don't even know 867 00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:44,883 if you want me to be 868 00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:44,883 your girlfriend anytime soon. 869 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,595 - Neither of us do. 870 00:19:45,628 --> 00:19:47,196 - I-I would like it, yeah. 871 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,531 I know that I would like it. 872 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,167 Honestly, if we get 873 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,167 back together, 874 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,735 we should just get engaged. 875 00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:55,505 - Oh, yeah? 876 00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:58,608 Sometimes, I'm like, 877 00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:58,608 "Glase just wants to be a wife, 878 00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:02,145 "and it's whatever sucker 879 00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:02,145 is willing to do it." 880 00:20:02,178 --> 00:20:03,212 - I could be married 881 00:20:02,178 --> 00:20:03,212 right now... 882 00:20:03,246 --> 00:20:05,314 - I'm just kidding. 883 00:20:03,246 --> 00:20:05,314 - If I wanted to be anyone. 884 00:20:05,348 --> 00:20:07,773 No, I know you think that 885 00:20:05,348 --> 00:20:07,773 sometimes. 886 00:20:07,150 --> 00:20:09,419 - I'm just kidding! 887 00:20:07,150 --> 00:20:09,419 - You do. 888 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,421 You said it as a joke, 889 00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,421 but I know you think that. 890 00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:13,489 - All right. 891 00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:13,489 - You think you're a sucker. 892 00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:15,558 I could find 893 00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:15,558 some schmuck to marry me. 894 00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,293 This isn't the hard thing. 895 00:20:17,326 --> 00:20:18,528 I want you, Chris! 896 00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:23,466 I think we just fundamentally 897 00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:23,466 don't understand each other, 898 00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:28,571 and we--we keep failing 899 00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:28,571 to communicate how we feel. 900 00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:30,373 - Nice. 901 00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:30,373 - Um ----. 902 00:20:30,406 --> 00:20:32,175 Okay, I gotta go... 903 00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:34,510 jump on some calls. 904 00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:38,314 - [laughs] 905 00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:38,314 I'm out of here. 906 00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:39,716 - Yeah, you're ready. 907 00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:39,716 - I'm out. 908 00:20:39,749 --> 00:20:40,983 - We're ready. 909 00:20:39,749 --> 00:20:40,983 - All right. 910 00:20:41,017 --> 00:20:42,919 - Let's start right now. 911 00:20:43,886 --> 00:20:45,855 - What are you doing 912 00:20:43,886 --> 00:20:45,855 walking around St. Poo-is? 913 00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:47,824 - I literally just got poop 914 00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:47,824 on my hands 915 00:20:47,857 --> 00:20:49,192 from not having a bag. 916 00:20:49,225 --> 00:20:50,259 [upbeat music] 917 00:20:50,293 --> 00:20:51,494 Oh! 918 00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:52,595 Golf is the worst. 919 00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:53,362 Ah, ----. 920 00:20:53,396 --> 00:20:55,231 Makes me want to throw 921 00:20:53,396 --> 00:20:55,231 a racket! 922 00:20:55,264 --> 00:20:56,432 I've been texting with JR. 923 00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:59,293 I'm entertaining the idea 924 00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:59,293 of hanging out with other guys. 925 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,737 Are you an F-boy or a nice guy? 926 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,004 - I don't wanna say 927 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,004 I'm a nice guy. 928 00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:03,239 That has the same connotations, 929 00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:03,239 right? 930 00:21:03,272 --> 00:21:04,440 - That's a good answer. 931 00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,309 - I've still never felt 932 00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,309 a feeling before. 933 00:21:06,342 --> 00:21:07,377 It sounds awesome. 934 00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:08,378 - I like that you are saying 935 00:21:08,411 --> 00:21:09,946 you don't feel feelings. 936 00:21:09,979 --> 00:21:11,848 - [laughs] Busted. 55592

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