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[upbeat music]
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- Where do you see yourself
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in ten years?
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- Ten years?
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I don't know about ten days
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from now, honestly.
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Where do you see yourself
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in ten years?
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- Well, I'll be 47.
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I see myself
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in a really good relationship.
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- Do you think you'll be
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with Chris in ten years?
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- I would like to be with him
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in ten years.
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Um, I'm gonna be friends
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with Taylor Swift.
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I think the oceans
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are gonna rise,
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and we're all going
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to be living in a hellscape.
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But I'll be happy.
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I'm gonna be touring--
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a touring musician
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in the water world.
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- On a submarine.
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- On a jet ski.
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On a jet ski.
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You know, it's gonna be, like,
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Kevin Costner's "Waterworld."
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- Are you gonna be 47
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in your metaverse?
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- No. God, no.
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- [laughs]
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- * I'm gonna miss my flight
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* I feel so all alone
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out on the road *
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* Can you welcome me home?
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[upbeat music]
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*
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- Cool.
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- Ooh, it's gonna
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be so vintage.
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Hello.
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- Hey.
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- Oh, my God.
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What a cool shop.
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- Very vintage.
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I'm already seeing some hats.
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- I'm drawn to this hat.
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- [gasps]
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Oh, yeah.
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- God, my head is so big.
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When I first started
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doing comedy,
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I did not care about
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how I looked or how I dressed
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until, like, last week.
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And now I can get more ballsy
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with the way I dress
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but I still like to do resale
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and vintage clothing
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and stuff that, you know,
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dead people have worn
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before me.
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- Is there a particular decade
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that you're attracted to?
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- I go onstage a lot,
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and I just like to have
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glitzy things that maybe, like,
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Joan Rivers would have worn
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in Vegas.
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- Are we gonna change in here?
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- Yeah. Let's do it.
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You can call me Taylor Thrift.
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This is, like, what people
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think female comics are.
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- Yeah.
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- Like, honey...
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- So I'll tell you about--
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- Can I get some foreplay?
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- [laughing]
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Yeah.
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- [vocalizes]
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- That works out
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for you, sugar.
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Oh, tie me up, dog.
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Call me--
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buy me a chance.
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- No, stop it.
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Stop this character.
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- Buy me some Swiss cheese.
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- I want to file
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a sexual harassment suit
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that'll be ignored for decades.
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I feel like
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you're Amelia Earhart
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before her last flight.
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- Get on my plane.
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- Do you think it's ridiculous
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if I were to try to, like,
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have a different career
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than comedy?
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I think I'm gonna try to be,
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like, a singer-songwriter.
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My family was always
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super musical.
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My dad is an amazing musician.
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And I am not
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as naturally inclined.
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I really credit my dad
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for making me
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pretty obsessed with music
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from an early age.
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He actually
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plays professionally.
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He plays in, you know,
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bars and restaurants,
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grocery stores,
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um, nursing homes.
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That's what he does
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in his retirement.
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He plays--
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he plays retirement homes.
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Singing, it's just, like,
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first of all,
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my favorite art form.
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And I think always been
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the thing I want to do
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that I was scared to do,
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so I just chose a path
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to artistic expression
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that was easier for me than--
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- Mm-hmm.
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- Than what I really wanted
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to do, which was always
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be a singer-songwriter.
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- I think it's probably easier
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to go from comedy the other way
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than to go into stand-up.
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- So I'm doing the right way?
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- Yes, I think so.
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You're doing
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the reverse Madonna.
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- But am I allowed to just say,
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"Hey, I'm putting out a song,"
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without making fun of it
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and being like...
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- Yes. Yes.
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- "I'm so stupid
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for putting out a song?"
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- Totally.
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- When the pandemic hit,
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I was unable to do stand-up
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and get my feelings out
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that way.
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The first thing I did
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was get a karaoke machine.
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I would get up every morning,
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eat my breakfast,
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and go in the living room and
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sing three Taylor Swift songs,
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and I learned how good
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you could get by practicing.
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When I first started
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doing stand-up,
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I sucked.
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I didn't call myself a comedian
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till I got on
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"Last Comic Standing."
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Why can't I be Taylor Swift?
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Like--
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* And then he loved me
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And then I'd be like--
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[panting]
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You know what I think
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I'm uncomfortable with?
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Like, feelings in songs.
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- Yeah.
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- I'm uncomfortable
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being like--
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* I loved him one summer
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- Yeah.
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- That is so embarrassing
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to be, like,
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accessing those feelings.
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It's much funnier to be like,
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"I queefed in his mouth."
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- I mean--
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- [fart]
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- [laughing] Oh, my God.
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- That was a queef.
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Right?
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- Sure was, doll.
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- [whispering] Hey.
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- Yeah?
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- You know what you could do?
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- Huh?
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- Rub my feet.
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- No.
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- Just a little bit?
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- No, no, no, no.
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You have a foot machine.
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- But it's not good, Andrew.
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- Rub my feet.
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- Let's go.
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- Find the pressure spot.
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- I'm warming it up first.
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- See, I'm already in there.
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- It's just like sex.
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Boys don't do foreplay.
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They just go--
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[growls]
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I can assure you,
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I'm feeling nothing sexual
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for you.
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My vagina's falling off.
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- My penis is in my body.
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- Good. Keep it there.
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- [laughing]
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[mid-tempo music]
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*
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[leaf blower whirring]
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[dog barking]
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- Hi!
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Mom?
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Mom. Mom!
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- Hey.
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- Hi.
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- Hey.
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- What's up?
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Just blowing some leaves?
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- Just blowing some leaves.
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- I thought Dad hates
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leaf blowers.
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- He does.
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I gotta use it when he's gone.
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- He hates you blowing leaves.
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- He hates it.
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- Or anyone else.
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- Too bad.
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That's the way it goes.
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- Um,
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I brought some clothes for you
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to see if you want any,
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and then the rest you can maybe
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take to Goodwill for me.
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- Okay.
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- It's a lot.
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- Oh, my God. Oh, I already
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see some stuff I want.
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- Taylor gave me that.
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You can have it.
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- Except it's got some issues.
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- Yeah, it's got
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a little stain on it.
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These are both for Lauren.
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Sorry, nothing for you.
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- Lauren will be able to fit
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in these in a couple months.
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Okay.
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- Um...
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I want to throw Lauren
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some kind of--
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do you have third kid
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baby showers?
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- They do.
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They call 'em sprinkles.
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- That makes sense.
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- Does it make sense?
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- So it's, like, a lesser--
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it's not, like, your first one.
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Oh, yeah. We got to do one.
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- That would be so nice.
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- Yeah.
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- She would love that.
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- My sister, Lauren, she's
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two years younger than me.
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She is the most
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beautiful person I know.
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She has chose a totally
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different path in life.
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She's married
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to an amazing guy, Matt.
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They have two kids together,
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a third on the way.
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And I'm 37, and I tell
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dick jokes for a living
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and am currently trying to get
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back with an ex-boyfriend
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who I've been off and on with
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for eight years.
293
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:09,946
My younger sister
294
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:09,946
has three kids.
295
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,280
- Total surprise.
296
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:12,915
- I did not see this coming...
297
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:12,915
- No.
298
00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:14,584
- For her.
299
00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:14,584
- I assumed she was gonna
300
00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:15,752
have children,
301
00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:15,752
but I didn't know--
302
00:06:15,852 --> 00:06:17,286
- You probably
303
00:06:15,852 --> 00:06:17,286
assumed I was too.
304
00:06:17,387 --> 00:06:18,755
- Mm. I don't know.
305
00:06:18,855 --> 00:06:20,423
Your career was
306
00:06:18,855 --> 00:06:20,423
kind of forefront.
307
00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:22,658
- But before we had careers.
308
00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:22,658
You just assume your daughters
309
00:06:22,759 --> 00:06:23,926
will have kids.
310
00:06:22,759 --> 00:06:23,926
- Yeah, I just assumed both
311
00:06:24,543 --> 00:06:25,294
of you would have children.
312
00:06:24,543 --> 00:06:25,294
- Yeah.
313
00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:27,397
I've honestly never been
314
00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:27,397
to a baby shower.
315
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,593
- Really?
316
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,593
- I don't think so.
317
00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:32,623
I actually went to one, and it
318
00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:32,623
was in the movie "Trainwreck."
319
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:33,633
- Oh.
320
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:33,633
- That was like--
321
00:06:34,237 --> 00:06:34,704
- It was in a movie.
322
00:06:34,237 --> 00:06:34,704
- And that's what I feel
323
00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:36,472
like they all are, just like,
324
00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:36,472
we're so excited.
325
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:37,407
- Yeah, they kind of
326
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:37,407
make it like that.
327
00:06:37,974 --> 00:06:38,441
- And just, oh, my gosh.
328
00:06:39,242 --> 00:06:40,543
- But you came in
329
00:06:39,242 --> 00:06:40,543
for Arlo's birth.
330
00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:41,511
- But not the shower.
331
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,246
- It was really fun.
332
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,246
I had it.
333
00:06:43,346 --> 00:06:45,448
I blew up these cloud balloons.
334
00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:46,849
- Oh, yeah.
335
00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:46,849
- And then I had little babies
336
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,851
in onesies floating
337
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,851
around the room.
338
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,020
- Didn't they look like--
339
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,020
- They looked like little,
340
00:06:51,813 --> 00:06:53,022
uh, onesies--
341
00:06:51,813 --> 00:06:53,022
- Like, ghost babies?
342
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:53,990
- Yeah, ghost babies.
343
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:55,825
- I've been hearing
344
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:55,825
about these ghost babies
345
00:06:55,925 --> 00:06:57,627
since their inception.
346
00:06:57,726 --> 00:07:01,253
My mom seems to have had
347
00:06:57,726 --> 00:07:01,253
some acid flashbacks
348
00:07:01,913 --> 00:07:04,367
that are hitting her up
349
00:07:01,913 --> 00:07:04,367
later in life.
350
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,201
- Everybody's like,
351
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,201
what is that?
352
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:06,335
- They were kind of
353
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:06,335
disturbed by it?
354
00:07:07,313 --> 00:07:07,470
- Yeah.
355
00:07:07,313 --> 00:07:07,470
And I was like,
356
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:10,807
- It's truly terrifying
357
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:10,807
and hilarious.
358
00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,475
- I'm gonna bring one of 'em.
359
00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,475
- You still have one?
360
00:07:12,575 --> 00:07:13,810
- I have all of them.
361
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:16,312
- She likes terrifying
362
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:16,312
party guests, apparently.
363
00:07:16,412 --> 00:07:17,947
Please bring the ghost babies.
364
00:07:18,423 --> 00:07:20,773
No one's ever wanted to go
365
00:07:18,423 --> 00:07:20,773
to a baby shower, right?
366
00:07:20,216 --> 00:07:20,983
- People don't want to go.
367
00:07:21,851 --> 00:07:22,719
- We won't have
368
00:07:21,851 --> 00:07:22,719
to have penis straws
369
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,587
like they always do.
370
00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:27,490
Are those bachelor--
371
00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:27,490
- That's bachelor parties.
372
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:28,891
- Okay. Bachelorette parties.
373
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:28,891
- Yeah.
374
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:31,627
- Are they ever, like, fun,
375
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:31,627
and people, like, drink?
376
00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:34,764
- Let's not do opening presents
377
00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:34,764
and stuff like that.
378
00:07:34,864 --> 00:07:36,299
- Can we do one that's,
379
00:07:34,864 --> 00:07:36,299
like, not--
380
00:07:36,399 --> 00:07:38,768
like, the anti-baby shower?
381
00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:40,503
- Do an anti?
382
00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:40,503
- Anti.
383
00:07:40,603 --> 00:07:42,663
- An anti.
384
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:45,808
Nikki, I think this
385
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:45,808
is going somewhere.
386
00:07:45,908 --> 00:07:47,276
- Ugh.
387
00:07:45,908 --> 00:07:47,276
- Oh, come on.
388
00:07:47,377 --> 00:07:49,445
- Ugh. I regret that.
389
00:07:55,151 --> 00:07:56,719
[upbeat music]
390
00:07:56,819 --> 00:07:58,755
- Ah, ha-ha-ha.
391
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:01,491
[squeals]
392
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:01,491
- [laughs]
393
00:08:01,591 --> 00:08:02,692
Hi. Oh, my gosh.
394
00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:05,223
- What a treat.
395
00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:05,223
- Good to see you.
396
00:08:05,893 --> 00:08:06,729
- Rachel and I met
397
00:08:05,893 --> 00:08:06,729
through Amy Schumer
398
00:08:06,829 --> 00:08:08,731
back in 2010
399
00:08:06,829 --> 00:08:08,731
when I moved to New York.
400
00:08:08,831 --> 00:08:11,501
I saw your name,
401
00:08:08,831 --> 00:08:11,501
like, on a flyer
402
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:12,602
at my Starbucks,
403
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:12,602
and I was like--
404
00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:13,803
[gasps]
405
00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:13,803
Rachel's co--
406
00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:15,805
like, I forgot
407
00:08:13,903 --> 00:08:15,805
that you were coming here.
408
00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:18,708
She's one of the four
409
00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:18,708
funniest people I know.
410
00:08:18,808 --> 00:08:21,344
Kerstin, Rachel Feinstein,
411
00:08:18,808 --> 00:08:21,344
David Spade, Bob Saget.
412
00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:22,678
Those people all make me laugh
413
00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:25,515
in a way
414
00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:25,515
that my head snaps back
415
00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:26,983
like a Pez dispenser.
416
00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:28,384
[indistinct speech on computer]
417
00:08:28,484 --> 00:08:30,473
[laughing]
418
00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:31,354
- [indistinct]
419
00:08:31,454 --> 00:08:33,623
- Gah ha-ha.
420
00:08:31,454 --> 00:08:33,623
It hurts.
421
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,957
Wait, what was the time--
422
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:38,895
one of my favorite stories
423
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:38,895
was when you brought
424
00:08:38,995 --> 00:08:41,563
a change of clothes to a date.
425
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:44,367
- Wait, what?
426
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:44,367
- Oh, that was a dark time.
427
00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:46,536
Whoa.
428
00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:46,536
I met this guy at a show,
429
00:08:46,636 --> 00:08:48,538
and I came to the date,
430
00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:50,673
and I couldn't decide
431
00:08:48,638 --> 00:08:50,673
what to wear.
432
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:53,710
So I packed a second dress
433
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:53,710
in my purse.
434
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:56,579
And so I pretended--
435
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,848
oof, to spill the drink
436
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,848
on myself.
437
00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:00,917
And then I was like,
438
00:08:58,948 --> 00:09:00,917
oopsie daisy.
439
00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:02,952
And so I ran off
440
00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:02,952
to the bathroom
441
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:04,787
and changed and came back
442
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:04,787
in the dress.
443
00:09:04,887 --> 00:09:07,423
I was probably, like,
444
00:09:04,887 --> 00:09:07,423
walking towards him just like--
445
00:09:07,523 --> 00:09:10,203
- Oh, my God.
446
00:09:07,523 --> 00:09:10,203
- I know.
447
00:09:10,159 --> 00:09:12,223
- You were dating a lot
448
00:09:10,159 --> 00:09:12,223
before you found B.
449
00:09:12,563 --> 00:09:13,629
- Yeah, I was hanging out
450
00:09:12,563 --> 00:09:13,629
at steak houses,
451
00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,331
'cause I heard men hang out
452
00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,331
at steak houses.
453
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:17,800
I'm like, I'll be
454
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:17,800
at the steak house bar later.
455
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,402
They're like, that's not--
456
00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:22,371
I was pulsing with desperation.
457
00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:24,343
- Oh, my God.
458
00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:25,575
Was it just
459
00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:25,575
you just knew you wanted
460
00:09:25,675 --> 00:09:26,909
to be married someday
461
00:09:25,675 --> 00:09:26,909
and have kids?
462
00:09:27,373 --> 00:09:29,212
Like, was there a fear
463
00:09:27,373 --> 00:09:29,212
that it wouldn't happen?
464
00:09:29,312 --> 00:09:30,913
- Oh, yeah, of course.
465
00:09:29,312 --> 00:09:30,913
Definitely.
466
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:32,248
I was, like,
467
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:32,248
at the bottom of the ninth,
468
00:09:32,348 --> 00:09:34,217
like, when he was
469
00:09:32,348 --> 00:09:34,217
getting ready to propose.
470
00:09:34,317 --> 00:09:35,818
I was, like,
471
00:09:34,317 --> 00:09:35,818
talking about it on stage
472
00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:38,454
when I was, like,
473
00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:38,454
looking for a ring in my salad.
474
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:39,856
No one wanted to be around me.
475
00:09:39,956 --> 00:09:41,791
- I totally relate to this.
476
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:44,327
Like, I want
477
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:44,327
to maybe be married.
478
00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:45,695
Like, I want to be wife.
479
00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:46,996
- Yeah.
480
00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:46,996
- And so if you're not down
481
00:09:47,573 --> 00:09:50,233
for marriage, like, tell me now
482
00:09:47,573 --> 00:09:50,233
'cause this is what I need.
483
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:53,736
When I look at Chris now, I
484
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:53,736
kind of see the total package.
485
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:55,905
Oh. Oh!
486
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:55,905
- [laughing]
487
00:09:56,005 --> 00:09:57,673
Ah!
488
00:09:57,173 --> 00:09:58,741
Are you okay?
489
00:09:57,173 --> 00:09:58,741
- Yeah.
490
00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:00,476
He's someone
491
00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:00,476
I'm deeply attracted to.
492
00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:02,845
He's consistent,
493
00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:02,845
he's there for me.
494
00:10:02,945 --> 00:10:04,180
He's really husband material.
495
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,783
- This is--it's working.
496
00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:08,484
- I mean, they're out.
497
00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:08,484
- [laughs]
498
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:11,854
- Chris and I are doing so
499
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:11,854
great that maybe I want kids.
500
00:10:11,954 --> 00:10:13,173
Maybe it's just St. Louis,
501
00:10:13,156 --> 00:10:15,193
'cause everyone
502
00:10:13,156 --> 00:10:15,193
in St. Louis has kids.
503
00:10:15,158 --> 00:10:17,727
Rachel, what's your favorite
504
00:10:15,158 --> 00:10:17,727
thing about being a mom?
505
00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,897
- Um, I didn't realize
506
00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:20,897
how silly it would be.
507
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:22,932
Like, she's--it's funny.
508
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:22,932
Every day is funny.
509
00:10:23,032 --> 00:10:24,967
And also I feel like
510
00:10:23,032 --> 00:10:24,967
when a babysitter comes over,
511
00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:27,643
like, I'm doing an impression
512
00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:27,643
of a mother.
513
00:10:27,203 --> 00:10:28,771
Like, you know that speech
514
00:10:27,203 --> 00:10:28,771
that you have
515
00:10:28,871 --> 00:10:30,673
before you leave
516
00:10:28,871 --> 00:10:30,673
the babysitter?
517
00:10:30,773 --> 00:10:31,808
- Yeah.
518
00:10:30,773 --> 00:10:31,808
- And they kind of dismiss me.
519
00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:34,383
I feared the people I worked
520
00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:34,383
with when I was a nanny.
521
00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,312
- Yes.
522
00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,312
I used to be so scared...
523
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:37,980
- Yes. I know, I was like--
524
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:37,980
- Of the moms.
525
00:10:38,423 --> 00:10:39,382
- Yeah, 'cause I knew--
526
00:10:38,423 --> 00:10:39,382
- The dads were always
527
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:41,451
kind of like,
528
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:41,451
I'll drive you home drunk.
529
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,152
- Wait, I thought
530
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,152
that only happens in movies.
531
00:10:43,252 --> 00:10:45,888
[laughter]
532
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:49,193
- What's going on here?
533
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:49,193
- Oh, that's just who I am.
534
00:10:49,158 --> 00:10:51,260
- What is that?
535
00:10:49,158 --> 00:10:51,260
- Wh--cut it out.
536
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,196
- I'm not kidding you.
537
00:10:53,296 --> 00:10:54,530
There's been gains.
538
00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:56,933
Can I get a change of seats?
539
00:10:56,232 --> 00:10:58,401
- Oh, Glase.
540
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:01,337
[mid-tempo music]
541
00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:02,371
*
542
00:11:02,472 --> 00:11:03,973
- Oh.
543
00:11:02,472 --> 00:11:03,973
- Whoa.
544
00:11:04,683 --> 00:11:06,342
I've never been in a studio.
545
00:11:04,683 --> 00:11:06,342
- Me neither, dude.
546
00:11:06,442 --> 00:11:07,543
- Seriously?
547
00:11:06,442 --> 00:11:07,543
- Hey.
548
00:11:07,643 --> 00:11:08,978
- Welcome.
549
00:11:07,643 --> 00:11:08,978
- Thank you.
550
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:11,214
It's cool that you have
551
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:11,214
my vagina on your shirt.
552
00:11:11,314 --> 00:11:13,549
Um, I'm just kidding.
553
00:11:11,314 --> 00:11:13,549
It just reminded me of--
554
00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:15,551
- [chuckles]
555
00:11:13,649 --> 00:11:15,551
- It's just a joke.
556
00:11:15,651 --> 00:11:16,753
All right,
557
00:11:15,651 --> 00:11:16,753
off to a great start.
558
00:11:16,853 --> 00:11:17,954
Okay, um--
559
00:11:16,853 --> 00:11:17,954
[laughter]
560
00:11:18,823 --> 00:11:20,189
Today I'm recording a song.
561
00:11:20,289 --> 00:11:22,959
I'm so excited to do it,
562
00:11:20,289 --> 00:11:22,959
because it's like I'm Batkid.
563
00:11:23,873 --> 00:11:24,460
And they're giving me the city,
564
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,396
and I get to pretend
565
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,396
like I'm a superhero.
566
00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:28,831
Like, I am living a dream.
567
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:32,301
[guitar playing]
568
00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:36,005
* August, you were the one,
569
00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:36,005
hold the seed in the sand *
570
00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:37,840
* You let go of what's real
571
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:39,575
[clears throat]
572
00:11:39,675 --> 00:11:41,144
- Does she start right off?
573
00:11:41,177 --> 00:11:42,578
- I don't know where I start,
574
00:11:41,177 --> 00:11:42,578
to be honest with you.
575
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:44,914
- Twice through.
576
00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:47,183
* Some people sa--
577
00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:47,183
[bleep], sorry.
578
00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,943
I'm really, really loud in my--
579
00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:51,020
it's almost like I hate
580
00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:51,020
my voice right now
581
00:11:51,154 --> 00:11:52,422
'cause it's so loud.
582
00:11:52,522 --> 00:11:53,956
[over headphones] * I know--
583
00:11:52,522 --> 00:11:53,956
- Too much?
584
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,725
Oh, you got to sing
585
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,725
with yourself.
586
00:11:55,825 --> 00:11:57,213
- This isn't going well.
587
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,594
My biggest fear
588
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,594
is that I'm only getting
589
00:11:58,694 --> 00:12:00,263
to do this
590
00:11:58,694 --> 00:12:00,263
because I've paid for it
591
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:02,565
or because my friends
592
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:02,565
are trying to be nice.
593
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,833
[clears throat]
594
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,002
I'm feeling, like,
595
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,002
that kind of thing today
596
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,653
where it's like,
597
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,653
is this just your Make-A-Wish?
598
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,541
* And even though I know--
599
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,541
Ugh.
600
00:12:11,641 --> 00:12:13,509
Wha-ha-la-la-la-la.
601
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:14,744
Don't want to hear myself.
602
00:12:14,844 --> 00:12:16,312
- Oh. Oh.
603
00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:17,613
Hi!
604
00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:17,613
- Yo.
605
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:18,881
- Ah.
606
00:12:18,981 --> 00:12:20,783
- Someone's excited.
607
00:12:20,883 --> 00:12:22,218
- So sweet.
608
00:12:22,318 --> 00:12:25,321
- [panting]
609
00:12:22,318 --> 00:12:25,321
[laughter]
610
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,591
Hi.
611
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,591
- How's it going?
612
00:12:28,691 --> 00:12:30,159
- Can't stand my own voice.
613
00:12:30,259 --> 00:12:32,862
Can I just sing it
614
00:12:30,259 --> 00:12:32,862
as someone else?
615
00:12:32,962 --> 00:12:35,498
- You don't have to keep these.
616
00:12:32,962 --> 00:12:35,498
They don't have to be perfect.
617
00:12:35,598 --> 00:12:36,566
You just have to try
618
00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:38,034
and do your best.
619
00:12:38,953 --> 00:12:39,902
- I'm glad Chris stopped
620
00:12:38,953 --> 00:12:39,902
by the studio,
621
00:12:40,002 --> 00:12:42,772
because he's so proud of me
622
00:12:40,002 --> 00:12:42,772
trying this new,
623
00:12:42,872 --> 00:12:44,974
kind of awkward,
624
00:12:42,872 --> 00:12:44,974
late in the game,
625
00:12:46,023 --> 00:12:46,208
delusional endeavor.
626
00:12:46,309 --> 00:12:48,411
Thanks for coming.
627
00:12:46,309 --> 00:12:48,411
- This is awesome.
628
00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:52,315
- He supports me in my career
629
00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:52,315
and my hopes and dreams.
630
00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:55,918
When he is in this mode,
631
00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:55,918
I'm, like, very--
632
00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:58,654
I'm pretty horned up for it.
633
00:12:58,755 --> 00:13:01,657
[music playing]
634
00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:04,660
* I'll always be the one
635
00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:07,530
* Who bares my bones
636
00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:07,530
in bright moonlight *
637
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:13,269
* I do not see
638
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:13,269
how you couldn't trust me *
639
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:16,663
* Will you come back again,
640
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:16,663
hold my face in your hands *
641
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,441
* Say this isn't the end
642
00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:20,443
[upbeat music]
643
00:13:20,543 --> 00:13:22,145
I definitely am
644
00:13:20,543 --> 00:13:22,145
a better singer
645
00:13:22,245 --> 00:13:24,514
than Bob Dylan...
646
00:13:22,245 --> 00:13:24,514
is now.
647
00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,449
[as Bob Dylan]
648
00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,449
* He sings like this
649
00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:27,683
[normal voice]
650
00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:27,683
Like, that's not good.
651
00:13:27,784 --> 00:13:29,619
- It's awesome.
652
00:13:27,784 --> 00:13:29,619
- Thanks.
653
00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:31,020
I could win a Grammy someday.
654
00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:32,688
I bet if I worked hard enough
655
00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:32,688
I could.
656
00:13:32,789 --> 00:13:36,659
Do I think I will win a Grammy?
657
00:13:36,759 --> 00:13:38,883
Yeah. I do.
658
00:13:36,759 --> 00:13:38,883
I honestly do.
659
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:39,929
- She's just gonna put the pup
660
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:39,929
on her lap.
661
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:41,564
- It'll give me more comfort.
662
00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:42,732
- Do you want me to sit
663
00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:42,732
on your lap too?
664
00:13:42,832 --> 00:13:45,368
[laughter]
665
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,675
- So, um,
666
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,675
do you need this rogue tampon
667
00:13:52,775 --> 00:13:54,143
that has hair?
668
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:55,478
Do you want to push this
669
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:55,478
into your vagina?
670
00:13:55,578 --> 00:13:57,814
- This is very representative
671
00:13:55,578 --> 00:13:57,814
of me.
672
00:13:57,914 --> 00:13:58,981
This is me.
673
00:13:57,914 --> 00:13:58,981
- With this wiry...
674
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:00,683
- Hair.
675
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:00,683
And, like,
676
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,452
has a little bit
677
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,452
of spray tan on it.
678
00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,687
- Give it to me.
679
00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,687
- Out of the wrapper.
680
00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:06,503
- Buh-bye.
681
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,491
Aw, I wanted it
682
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,491
to land in the trash.
683
00:14:08,591 --> 00:14:09,525
Okay.
684
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:12,361
[upbeat music]
685
00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:15,298
*
686
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:16,466
- All right. Let's move 'em.
687
00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:18,000
- I don't know
688
00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:18,000
how to do these things.
689
00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:19,602
- They have event people
690
00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:19,602
that'll help do that.
691
00:14:19,702 --> 00:14:21,003
- We can have
692
00:14:19,702 --> 00:14:21,003
other people do this.
693
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:22,371
You guys are old.
694
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:23,673
- Oh, my God.
695
00:14:23,773 --> 00:14:25,842
That's the wrong tablecloth.
696
00:14:25,942 --> 00:14:26,976
- Hup, two, three.
697
00:14:27,713 --> 00:14:28,010
Are these the chairs
698
00:14:27,713 --> 00:14:28,010
we're using?
699
00:14:29,733 --> 00:14:30,446
- Let's all try to decide
700
00:14:29,733 --> 00:14:30,446
where these should hang.
701
00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:34,783
- If I ever have a baby shower
702
00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:34,783
or a wedding,
703
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:37,253
I don't want my mom to...
704
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:37,253
even be there.
705
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,555
- We'll just set those up
706
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,555
over here, along here.
707
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:41,891
You go around and make sure
708
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:41,891
the tablecloth is even.
709
00:14:41,991 --> 00:14:43,693
We're gonna go over here
710
00:14:41,991 --> 00:14:43,693
to the buffet.
711
00:14:43,793 --> 00:14:45,962
- My mom likes to be frazzled.
712
00:14:46,903 --> 00:14:47,029
Bossing people around and,
713
00:14:47,913 --> 00:14:48,431
"No one's helping me."
714
00:14:48,531 --> 00:14:50,032
- EJ, you don't have time
715
00:14:48,531 --> 00:14:50,032
to talk.
716
00:14:50,943 --> 00:14:52,001
We have got to get this going.
717
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,203
- "Why don't you do this?"
718
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,203
"God damn it."
719
00:14:54,303 --> 00:14:55,872
- Don't put up any more tables.
720
00:14:55,972 --> 00:14:56,973
- Chairs, you mean?
721
00:14:58,013 --> 00:14:58,374
- Chairs you can put up.
722
00:14:58,474 --> 00:15:00,309
[laughing]
723
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:01,878
Where should we put this?
724
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:01,878
- What about right here?
725
00:15:01,978 --> 00:15:03,146
- You can't see it.
726
00:15:03,246 --> 00:15:04,380
- Yeah, you can.
727
00:15:03,246 --> 00:15:04,380
- What about in this window?
728
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,915
- My mom envisioned this idea
729
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:07,443
in one of her night terrors,
730
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,885
and she brought it to life.
731
00:15:08,985 --> 00:15:11,813
- They found a headless,
732
00:15:08,985 --> 00:15:11,813
legless baby
733
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:13,389
buried in a mass grave.
734
00:15:13,489 --> 00:15:14,757
- Hello!
735
00:15:14,857 --> 00:15:16,626
Hi!
736
00:15:14,857 --> 00:15:16,626
- Oh, my goodness.
737
00:15:16,726 --> 00:15:18,728
Thank you so much for coming.
738
00:15:18,828 --> 00:15:20,963
- You guys are here!
739
00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,603
[cheers]
740
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,613
Hi, how are you?
741
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,235
- Yes. Yes.
742
00:15:26,335 --> 00:15:27,970
[indistinct speech]
743
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:29,338
- Hi, Poppy.
744
00:15:29,439 --> 00:15:31,683
- Happy baby party.
745
00:15:29,439 --> 00:15:31,683
- This is so beautiful.
746
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:32,909
- You look amazing.
747
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:32,909
- You look great too.
748
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:34,777
- God, you make me want
749
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:34,777
to get pregnant.
750
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:36,733
- Really?
751
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:36,733
- You look good.
752
00:15:36,212 --> 00:15:38,753
Growing up,
753
00:15:36,212 --> 00:15:38,753
I was obsessed with Lauren
754
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,248
being kidnapped,
755
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,248
because I was aware
756
00:15:39,348 --> 00:15:42,793
that she was a much more
757
00:15:39,348 --> 00:15:42,793
attractive child than I was.
758
00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:43,319
And then when we got
759
00:15:42,185 --> 00:15:43,319
into high school,
760
00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:45,588
I was deeply jealous of her.
761
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:48,257
My personality is the way
762
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:48,257
it is because I needed
763
00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:49,592
to find other ways
764
00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:49,592
for people to like me,
765
00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:53,196
because I just felt
766
00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:53,196
so un-Lauren-like.
767
00:15:53,296 --> 00:15:54,430
[upbeat musical flourish]
768
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:58,333
- Aye! What's up.
769
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:58,333
- How you doing?
770
00:15:58,434 --> 00:16:00,436
- Oh, my God,
771
00:15:58,434 --> 00:16:00,436
there are so many babies here.
772
00:16:00,536 --> 00:16:02,323
Oh, my goodness.
773
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:03,272
Look at all this.
774
00:16:03,372 --> 00:16:05,353
Look at all those babies.
775
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:07,210
Those are haunting, right?
776
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:09,479
- Man, this place
777
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:09,479
looks awesome, Nikki.
778
00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:11,347
- I'm making a gigantic plate
779
00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:11,347
of veggies.
780
00:16:11,447 --> 00:16:13,583
- I ate so much,
781
00:16:11,447 --> 00:16:13,583
I feel pregnant.
782
00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,518
- Who--you or Lauren,
783
00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,518
more pregnant?
784
00:16:15,618 --> 00:16:17,787
- I don't know, it's--
785
00:16:15,618 --> 00:16:17,787
here, feel.
786
00:16:17,887 --> 00:16:20,957
- You've known Lauren
787
00:16:17,887 --> 00:16:20,957
through all of her pregnancies.
788
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:22,825
- Yeah.
789
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:22,825
She had Arlo,
790
00:16:22,925 --> 00:16:23,960
and then Poppy,
791
00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:25,395
and now this one.
792
00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:26,996
- Then whatever
793
00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:26,996
this one's gonna be.
794
00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:28,464
- Yeah.
795
00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:28,464
- Whatever's it's gonna be.
796
00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:29,866
- Do you think that you might
797
00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:29,866
consider
798
00:16:29,966 --> 00:16:31,634
having little babies some time?
799
00:16:31,734 --> 00:16:33,569
- Um...
800
00:16:33,669 --> 00:16:36,172
you know,
801
00:16:33,669 --> 00:16:36,172
when I see this little one.
802
00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:38,683
- Here's one--
803
00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:38,683
oh, my, she's so sweet.
804
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,442
Come here.
805
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:39,442
- Get over here.
806
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:42,311
Just in time. Hi.
807
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:42,311
- I love her.
808
00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:44,447
- When I see you,
809
00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:44,447
I want more of you.
810
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,216
But I'm not guaranteed
811
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,216
to get one like you.
812
00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:49,793
Um--
813
00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:49,793
- She's so sweet.
814
00:16:49,152 --> 00:16:50,987
- I mean,
815
00:16:49,152 --> 00:16:50,987
I'd have to find someone
816
00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:52,855
to take me to the sperm bank.
817
00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:54,724
I got to get a ride.
818
00:16:54,824 --> 00:16:57,827
[laughter]
819
00:16:57,927 --> 00:17:01,731
In the past, my career was,
820
00:16:57,927 --> 00:17:01,731
like, my child.
821
00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:03,332
- Oh, no.
822
00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:03,332
- I got him.
823
00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:05,401
No one can get him.
824
00:17:05,501 --> 00:17:08,504
But I always just thought
825
00:17:05,501 --> 00:17:08,504
it was my career or kids.
826
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:09,772
And now,
827
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:09,772
being back in St. Louis,
828
00:17:09,872 --> 00:17:12,708
I realize I might be able
829
00:17:09,872 --> 00:17:12,708
to have it all.
830
00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:14,744
- Don't let the balloon
831
00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:14,744
hit the ground.
832
00:17:16,646 --> 00:17:18,247
Charlie,
833
00:17:16,646 --> 00:17:18,247
don't let it hit the ground.
834
00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:19,681
- [squeals]
835
00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:19,681
- Don't let it hit the ground.
836
00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:22,463
- Chris is honestly
837
00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:22,463
really good with kids.
838
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:25,221
And turns out, like, I am too.
839
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:26,789
I think it might be
840
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:26,789
because we're just
841
00:17:26,889 --> 00:17:29,892
extremely emotionally immature.
842
00:17:29,992 --> 00:17:31,427
Here's the cake.
843
00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:33,229
- Oh!
844
00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:33,229
- [laughing]
845
00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,923
- [laughing]
846
00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,923
- Oh, my God.
847
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:37,266
- We don't know
848
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:37,266
if it's a girl or boy yet.
849
00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:38,468
- That is great.
850
00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:38,468
- It's amazing.
851
00:17:38,568 --> 00:17:40,203
- Do you see the baby?
852
00:17:38,568 --> 00:17:40,203
- I don't really understand it.
853
00:17:40,303 --> 00:17:41,504
- Huh?
854
00:17:40,303 --> 00:17:41,504
- That's Matt.
855
00:17:41,604 --> 00:17:43,639
- Oh, Matt is like--
856
00:17:41,604 --> 00:17:43,639
as the baby--
857
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:45,541
- Doing a face.
858
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,710
- Oh, my God.
859
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,710
- It's something.
860
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:52,215
- Can we all take in the weird
861
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:52,215
headless, bodyless baby torsos?
862
00:17:52,315 --> 00:17:53,616
She dug them out.
863
00:17:52,315 --> 00:17:53,616
- Remember these?
864
00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,685
- Oh, Jules,
865
00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,685
it's hard to forget.
866
00:17:55,785 --> 00:17:57,553
- [laughs]
867
00:18:03,659 --> 00:18:05,895
[upbeat music]
868
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,196
- Dad, any luck?
869
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:08,364
I want to play my song.
870
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:10,933
- Oh, my God, please get
871
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:10,933
your boots out of my freezer.
872
00:18:11,283 --> 00:18:13,603
- Well, I'm trying to make--
873
00:18:11,283 --> 00:18:13,603
when you put sacks of water,
874
00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:15,805
and then the ice--
875
00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:15,805
oh, it hasn't froze yet.
876
00:18:15,905 --> 00:18:18,408
When the ice freezes,
877
00:18:15,905 --> 00:18:18,408
it make the ice go out...
878
00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:19,409
- Expands?
879
00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:19,409
- And then the--
880
00:18:19,509 --> 00:18:20,910
'cause my bunions--ooh, no.
881
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:21,911
It popped.
882
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:21,911
[bleep].
883
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,147
- I knew this was a problem.
884
00:18:24,247 --> 00:18:26,716
Who puts bags of water
885
00:18:24,247 --> 00:18:26,716
in their shoes?
886
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,251
- People with bunions.
887
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,251
- Nikki, see if your phone's...
888
00:18:28,351 --> 00:18:29,519
- Aw, Nikki.
889
00:18:28,351 --> 00:18:29,519
- Connected to it.
890
00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:30,420
- Oh, wait. Here we go.
891
00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:30,420
Bluetooth pairing.
892
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,255
I really want
893
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,255
to play you guys the song
894
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,323
that I just recorded.
895
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,323
- Come on, Luigi.
896
00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,392
- I'm really nervous
897
00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,392
about my dad hearing this song,
898
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:39,796
because he's very critical.
899
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:41,831
- Hardly.
900
00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:43,499
- Ask anyone.
901
00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:43,499
Dad, you are critical.
902
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:44,500
It's just the way you are.
903
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:45,468
- I'm not drinking red wine
904
00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:47,370
on that white couch.
905
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,372
- Andrew was like,
906
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,372
I see where you get it from.
907
00:18:49,472 --> 00:18:50,840
Your dad is very critical,
908
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:52,708
and that's
909
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:52,708
what makes you very critical.
910
00:18:52,809 --> 00:18:54,277
- Andrew's pretty easy
911
00:18:52,809 --> 00:18:54,277
to be critical of.
912
00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:56,733
No, I'm just kidding.
913
00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:56,733
[laughs]
914
00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:57,447
- I rest my case.
915
00:18:57,547 --> 00:18:59,282
Ugh. I'm kind of nervous.
916
00:18:59,382 --> 00:19:01,951
Mm. Ugh.
917
00:18:59,382 --> 00:19:01,951
- All right.
918
00:19:02,843 --> 00:19:05,154
[music playing]
919
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:09,863
[playing on speaker]
920
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:09,863
- * This is not a complaint
921
00:19:09,225 --> 00:19:10,293
Oh, whoa.
922
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:13,903
* I am not against fame
923
00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:16,263
* But I wanna run away,
924
00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:16,263
and I wanna find a friend *
925
00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:18,935
* I wanna let someone in
926
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:21,270
[singing along]
927
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:21,270
* But I am alone
928
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,240
* August, you were the one
929
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,240
who put seeds in the sand *
930
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,909
* You let go of what's real
931
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:30,246
* Even though I know
932
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:30,246
I can't-- *
933
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:31,814
Sounds like Anya
934
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:31,814
in the background.
935
00:19:31,914 --> 00:19:34,984
But I did harmonies for this,
936
00:19:31,914 --> 00:19:34,984
so it might be me.
937
00:19:35,453 --> 00:19:37,286
[harmonizing]
938
00:19:35,453 --> 00:19:37,286
* Make me so restless
939
00:19:37,387 --> 00:19:38,654
- Sounds like you.
940
00:19:38,755 --> 00:19:41,853
- [harmonizing]
941
00:19:38,755 --> 00:19:41,853
* I'll always be the one
942
00:19:41,224 --> 00:19:43,993
* Who bares my bones
943
00:19:41,224 --> 00:19:43,993
in bright moonlight *
944
00:19:44,543 --> 00:19:45,995
* I do not see how--
945
00:19:46,563 --> 00:19:47,230
- Sounds good.
946
00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:49,632
- * Couldn't trust me
947
00:19:51,768 --> 00:19:53,469
* But it feels like the end
948
00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,653
- That sounds good, honey.
949
00:19:55,993 --> 00:19:57,440
- * I just know it's the end
950
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,674
- It sounds killer.
951
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,674
- Doesn't it sound good?
952
00:19:58,775 --> 00:20:00,176
- Oh, my God.
953
00:19:58,775 --> 00:20:00,176
- It sounds great.
954
00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,011
- My dad actually liked it.
955
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:05,314
When your harshest critic,
956
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:05,314
with his amazing voice,
957
00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,550
likes something,
958
00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,550
it gives me hope that, like,
959
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:08,818
the masses could like it.
960
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:10,953
- The whole song
961
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:10,953
is really good.
962
00:20:11,153 --> 00:20:12,321
- You deliver it really well.
963
00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,023
Your voice is good.
964
00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,023
- No, it's so good.
965
00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:16,492
- Anyone can do anything
966
00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:16,492
if you work hard enough.
967
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,261
It's about putting in
968
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,261
those 10,000 hours.
969
00:20:18,361 --> 00:20:23,299
I probably have, like,
970
00:20:18,361 --> 00:20:23,299
9,983 hours to go.
971
00:20:23,399 --> 00:20:25,735
So...
972
00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:27,904
can we wrap this up?
973
00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:27,904
'Cause I got to go practice.
974
00:20:28,004 --> 00:20:30,343
I'm like Michael Jordan
975
00:20:28,004 --> 00:20:30,343
when he played baseball.
976
00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,707
Except--
977
00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,707
- [chuckles]
978
00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:35,478
- I'm like Michael Jordan
979
00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:35,478
if he started doing pop music.
980
00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:37,980
I don't need to compare myself
981
00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:37,980
to Michael Jordan.
982
00:20:38,423 --> 00:20:39,215
I'm more of a Scottie Pippen.
983
00:20:39,315 --> 00:20:40,616
[both laugh]
984
00:20:42,919 --> 00:20:43,820
Next time...
985
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,493
You think I should change
986
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,493
my material at all
987
00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:48,524
with Chris and my mom and dad
988
00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:48,524
going to my show in Chicago?
989
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:49,625
They've never been
990
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:49,625
sitting next to each other
991
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,233
while they have to hear jokes
992
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,233
about me and Chris.
993
00:20:53,162 --> 00:20:56,199
Fluids are being exchanged.
994
00:20:53,162 --> 00:20:56,199
I don't know how to put that.
995
00:20:56,299 --> 00:20:57,500
Off to Chicago.
996
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,968
Bird sanctuary.
997
00:20:59,293 --> 00:21:00,303
[bird squawking]
998
00:20:59,293 --> 00:21:00,303
- Hello.
999
00:21:00,403 --> 00:21:02,663
- How these people live
1000
00:21:00,403 --> 00:21:02,663
like this.
1001
00:21:02,205 --> 00:21:04,240
- This is heaven.
1002
00:21:02,205 --> 00:21:04,240
[birds squawking]
1003
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:05,508
[crowd cheering]
1004
00:21:05,608 --> 00:21:06,743
Blowjobs are intimate as well.
1005
00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,578
If you go too deep,
1006
00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,578
it hits your heart.
1007
00:21:08,678 --> 00:21:09,879
- What do you think
1008
00:21:08,678 --> 00:21:09,879
of that one?
1009
00:21:09,979 --> 00:21:11,848
- For the love of Glase.
60435
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