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_
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Hello. I'm Princess Georgiana.
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Queen of Australia!
4
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Unbelievable.
You vomit on one little girl...
5
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I-I-I-I HA-A-A-A-ATE AUSTRALIA!
6
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,559
You're going to be amazing.
7
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Am I?! Team Queen!
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00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,119
I'm going to have you killed.
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00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,959
There's a new queen waiting
to burst out, apparently.
10
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,239
And she's not going to put
another foot wrong.
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00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:29,799
I'm
the Prime Minister! And I'm just perfect!
12
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,919
Even in this...
10,000-miles-from-home
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dust bowl of an inferno.
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Your Majesty.
15
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Oh, this poxy country! What now?
16
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My apologies.
17
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,320
I didn't realise you were
entertaining again.
18
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,199
Can you believe this?
19
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,839
No, no.
I thought you'd have gone by now.
20
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,799
I thought, as a surprise,
I'd wake up with you this time.
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00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,919
Well, as you can see,
I don't like surprises. Mm.
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00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,599
Last night was amazing.
23
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,159
Mm. From what I remember,
you ticked all the boxes.
24
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,359
Well, if you'd like
your box ticked again...
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00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,080
Don't - I can't bear innuendo.
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00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,360
You should probably get going
before anyone else sees you. Yep.
27
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,000
And I need to get
ready to visit a...
28
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,480
refugee resettlement centre.
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Can't wait for you
to meet my parents.
30
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Why, are they resettled refugees?
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00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,879
No, but seeing as this is
a thing now, I know...
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No, this isn't a thing.
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Far from a thing.
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00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,519
But you said you wanted
to do this every day.
35
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,520
I said the same thing
about the Peloton.
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00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,639
Look. Josh.
37
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,679
Who's Josh?
38
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,919
Not Josh. That's not your name.
Jack.
39
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,959
Neither is that.
I know, because your name is Joe.
40
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,639
It's not. Not finished. Joe-I.
41
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,479
How can you seriously not
know my name? I do know your name.
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00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,799
It's one of those
cool surfer names like...
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00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,719
Zach. It's Zach. It's not Zach.
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Chad? No. Bon.
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You know, I honestly thought
we had a connection.
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00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,039
We do. We do.
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Which is why...
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I'm going to give you this.
49
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,119
An ashtray?
50
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,799
Not just any ashtray.
51
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,519
This is a royal heirloom
of an ashtray.
52
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:41,079
Mm. Yeah. I mean, it may just be
any ashtray - but, either way,
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consider this a heartfelt thank you
from me to you.
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00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,479
By the way, it's Augustus.
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Augustus!
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Huh! Really?!
57
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,799
That's not remotely cool.
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00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,720
Anyhoo, catch you later, mate.
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00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,239
I think that went well.
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00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,599
Yes, as tours of refugee
resettlement centres go,
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that's in my top three.
And who doesn't love a date?
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00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,039
Bleurgh! That's like chewing syrup.
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00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,799
Ma'am, I have got something that
you are really, really, really...
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00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,919
Shut up and say it. Right.
65
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,799
The Reserve Bank have confirmed the
unveiling ceremony for your new $5 note.
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00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,479
Some positive momentum, finally!
Where is it?
67
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,639
I want to see it. Is it good?
68
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,200
Er, well, we haven't seen it yet,
but they're sending one over.
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00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,720
You know, it might really upset my mother,
having her $5 note replaced with mine.
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00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,160
Fingers crossed!
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00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:55,279
Some people say that we're giving
the Queen a hard time, but I think
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00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,159
this is all in the public interest.
73
00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,879
Aussies can't relate to some
squealing bird who was given things
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00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,239
from Mummy and Daddy on a platter.
75
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,519
What are we going to do
about this prick?
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00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,639
Richard bloody Steele and his
news empire - he's killing me!
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00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,171
Maybe, Ma'am, you should not concern
yourself with what's out there
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00:04:11,195 --> 00:04:12,656
and just let me handle it.
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00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,679
Mm! Cos you're doing
a bang-up job so far, Zoe.
80
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,679
Yesterday it was mutton
dressed as ma'am.
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00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,239
The day before that, they were savaging me
for being the world's only unmarried queen.
82
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,439
Why on earth does he care?
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00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,319
He doesn't, but it makes
for great headlines,
84
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,559
and the public aren't used to
their sovereign being so... um...
85
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,719
So what? Busty.
86
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,799
I know she's the Queen,
but get off the grass!
87
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,879
Spending $25,000 on British
chocolate - who does that?
88
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,479
Oh, piss off - you've tasted that
waxy shit they sell over here.
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00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,765
I just don't think the average
Australian can get their head around
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00:04:39,789 --> 00:04:41,027
that kind of extravagance.
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00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:43,479
I mean, sure, I've made a buck
or two along the way...
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00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,599
Or 30 billion!
93
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,439
But at heart I'm just
a regular bloke from Brissie.
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00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,119
Invite him to dinner.
95
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,999
Here. What for?!
96
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,399
Look at him! He promotes himself
as a man of the people.
97
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,079
He'll never accept.
Everyone accepts.
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00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,119
He's also dangerous. He's a shark.
99
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,759
Well, that's lucky
because I'm a shark charmer.
100
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,599
That's not a thing, is it?
Snake charmer.
101
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,839
It doesn't matter, though,
because I'm very charming.
102
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,759
Still very much not a good idea.
103
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,119
That's exactly what they said about going
for cocktails with the King of Djibouti.
104
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,479
There is no King of Djibouti.
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00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,559
There was that night.
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00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,239
Your Majesty.
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How was the visit?
They gave us dates.
108
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,919
Ah, dates. They call them
nature's caramel, you know.
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00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,159
Don't be a bore, Bernard. Quite.
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00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,799
Rumours abound of you...
fornicating with the staff.
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00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,479
With respect, Ma'am,
this will not do.
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00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,439
Fornicating? Who are you? Moses?!
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00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,719
You've been the focus of enough
salacious headlines
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in the past to realise what
could happen if word got out
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about a dalliance between
the Queen and her help.
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00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,159
I didn't take you for a snob,
but it suits you.
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00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,719
I don't make the rules, Ma'am.
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Rules are made to be broken.
119
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,519
I'm sorry you had to hear that,
Augustus.
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00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,199
It was rude and insensitive.
121
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,759
No worries. Just glad you
remembered my name this time.
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00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,279
I'm a quick study.
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00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,879
I get off work at nine if you...
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00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,839
Why don't you just clock off now?
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00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,279
Yeah, I guess I could do that.
Because you're fired.
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00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,359
What?! That's right.
127
00:06:05,613 --> 00:06:08,367
And I obviously have self-control
issues that I should probably
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00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:09,590
be working on, but - ha, me!
129
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,519
It's just easier this way.
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00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,919
You know?
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00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:14,960
For me.
132
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,839
We have to let him go.
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00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,599
Suppose Weiwei dobbed me in.
134
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,239
Well, for the record, it wasn't me.
135
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,039
Well, how could it have been?
136
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,439
I saw him coming out of your room.
137
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,199
Good Lord. Did you really?
How tawdry!
138
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,199
And there's me hoping you'd find me
the last word in elegant mystery.
139
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,799
I think that ship sailed -
all the way to Djibouti.
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00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,679
With respect, Ma'am.
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00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,479
You come off a little judgy
for a bodyguard.
142
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,719
Don't tell me you've never
thrown caution to the wind
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00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,040
one balmy evening
with a foreign dignitary.
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00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,839
If you're referring to my dalliance
with the Venezuelan general,
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00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,399
it was one night during a coup
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00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,400
and we both regretted
it in the morning.
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00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,039
Oh... my... God.
148
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,559
Maybe it's a prank. Yeah!
149
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,519
Yeah, I'm sure it's just the Reserve
Bank having their usual muck about.
150
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,959
Classic! How could they use the
wrong portrait on the note?
151
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,360
I mean, I know I definitely
gave them...
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00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,559
the wrong one.
153
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,160
Oh, my God. I'm screwed.
154
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,720
The Prime Minister, Ma'am.
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00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,359
Your Majesty.
156
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,679
Call me Georgie.
157
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,479
Shall I call you Becky?
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00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,799
I... don't think either suggestion
is appropriate, Ma'am.
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00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,079
Off to a fun start.
160
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,279
I don't think these meetings
are supposed to be fun.
161
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,319
Not that I'd know,
since we haven't had one yet.
162
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,920
Yeah, sorry about that. I've been
busy trying to get out of them.
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00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,079
Right.
Shall we get down to business?
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00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,479
Take it away.
165
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,279
There's an upcoming vote
in Parliament to fund
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00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,159
new childhood cancer research.
167
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,719
All right, keep it light.
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00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,439
It's set to pass unanimously.
169
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,239
Both sides of the House
are in agreement.
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00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,720
It's a rare occurrence.
171
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,319
That seems to have caught
your attention, Ma'am.
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00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,399
Hm?
173
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,920
Oh, no.
174
00:08:08,118 --> 00:08:10,514
No, not at all. I was just wondering
if I could still get away
175
00:08:10,538 --> 00:08:11,816
with wearing leather trousers.
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00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,000
Excuse me?
I mean, is there a cut-off age?
177
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,439
Forgive me, but we're here
to discuss affairs of state, Ma'am.
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00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,439
Forgive me. Do carry on.
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00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,839
Starting in the second quarter
of next year,
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00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,752
the single-parent allowance is set to
increase by 4.6%,
181
00:08:27,776 --> 00:08:28,856
bringing us in line with...
182
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,479
Oh. I'm sorry.
183
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,239
I'm sorry, I just...
I just can't with this.
184
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,946
It is singularly dull. I'm sorry
you find the idea of lifting
185
00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:38,696
single family homes out of
poverty boring.
186
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,119
It does reflect quite badly
on me, doesn't it?
187
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,799
Let's just keep
that between us gals.
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00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,119
You do know I'm a Republican?
189
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,799
What are you going to do?
190
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,039
Granted, neither of us
want to be here,
191
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:54,199
but, as it is our constitutional
duty, let us move on to infrastructure.
192
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,839
Can we just pop a pin
in it until next week?
193
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,439
My new banknote's arrived. Exciting!
194
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,639
I'm desperate to see it -
I may pee a little.
195
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,360
Prime Minister is leaving.
196
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,640
OK...
197
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,279
To your earlier query, Ma'am -
198
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,079
if you have to ask if there's
a cut-off age for leather trousers,
199
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,560
you've already passed it.
200
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,640
Noted.
201
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,399
I wonder if people will start
referring to them by my name.
202
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,519
Crikey,
I already gave you a couple of Georgies
203
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,399
to buy some more tinnies, you cheap
drongo! - What do you think?
204
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,599
Aussies don't speak
or walk like that, Ma'am.
205
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,439
Not yet.
206
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,039
OK!
207
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,600
I'm ready to see mon visage.
208
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,719
This is a prank.
209
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,519
The Reserve Bank strikes again.
210
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,919
It's not a prank, Ma'am.
211
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,399
It must be - because, of the
two portraits commissioned,
212
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,239
that definitely is not
the one I chose.
213
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,719
I accidentally approved
the wrong one.
214
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,599
You accidentally did what now?
215
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,242
To be honest, though, Ma'am, I really
don't think there's that much
216
00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:03,496
of a difference between them.
217
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,520
Really, Zoe? You don't see the
difference between this...
218
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,680
and this?
219
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,159
Hm?
220
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:16,759
Because this looks like me
on a good day 15 years ago.
221
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,359
This looks like I've just escaped
222
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,319
from the fucking asylum!
223
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,200
Ginger eyebrows?!
224
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,719
Oh, well, they'll just have to destroy
all those and print the correct ones.
225
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,458
The thing is... The notes have already
been printed and distributed
226
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:31,640
to banks around the country.
227
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,839
So unprint and undistribute them.
228
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,599
I get that you're less than pleased,
Ma'am, but millions of dollars
229
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,959
have already been spent
on producing these notes.
230
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,159
I'm unclear of your point.
231
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,519
Well, my point is, wouldn't it be
wasteful to spend all that money
232
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,759
on changing them when you could spend
it on more pressing national concerns?
233
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,479
You wouldn't be saying that
if it was your gormless,
234
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,799
haggard old medieval face
on every $5 note!
235
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,079
Who cares how much it costs?!
236
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,880
Just change it!
237
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,199
Is it just me thinking
we should prank them back?
238
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,759
I didn't think he'd accept.
Of course he accepted.
239
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,679
Richard Steele is just like everyone
else when they get a royal invite -
240
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,759
squeal with excitement, tell everyone
they know, and buy new shoes.
241
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,319
This is a bad idea.
242
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,119
It shouldn't take much to win
him over. He is, after all...
243
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,119
"just
a regular bloke from Brissie."
244
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,999
Then we can watch
the good publicity roll in.
245
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,639
He controls the largest media
conglomerate in Australia.
246
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,519
He's not the editor in chief
of the Goondiwindi Post.
247
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,199
The Goody-whatty-what?
248
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,399
Hunting! Excuse me? Tell him you
like hunting. But I don't.
249
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,119
It is a barbaric practice favoured
only by the stupid and the sadistic.
250
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,079
No wonder my family
enjoy it so much.
251
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,599
Well, you could just say that
you do - to impress him...
252
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,119
because he's a hunter.
He loves hunting. He hunts.
253
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,680
My God, I find you irritating.
254
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,279
Your Majesty.
May I present Mr Richard Steele?
255
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,040
Mr Steele.
How lovely of you to join us.
256
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,920
Are those new shoes?
257
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,079
We're bloody killing it these days.
258
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,719
And you want to know why
I'm such a massive success?
259
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,799
Because I give people what they want
from their news, not what they need.
260
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,759
And, er... if I may speak freely,
Ma'am? Do, do.
261
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:15,239
I simply cannot get enough of the absolute
balls up that you're making of things.
262
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,199
Ha-ha! Perhaps that's
a little too free.
263
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,079
Revenues are through the roof.
264
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,639
Oh, and this new story about how
you want to reprint the $5 note
265
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,759
because you don't like your picture?
266
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,359
You are the gift that
keeps on giving, Ma'am.
267
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,839
Well, I don't know where
you've got that idea from,
268
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,639
but it must be fun to speculate.
269
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,520
Would you excuse me just one moment?
270
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,799
Well, this is a nightmare.
The man won't budge.
271
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,199
I've tried humility,
flattery, sorcery.
272
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,840
Did you mention the hunting? I'm not
saying I hunt, you fucking dullard!
273
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,799
How about a little bribery?
274
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,919
Don't we have a knighthood or something
I can slap him round the face with?
275
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,679
Er, there's Order of Australia.
Excellent! Go get one.
276
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,759
It's not really... Just GO!
277
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:56,900
I do apologise.
278
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,439
Now, where were we?
279
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,399
Oh! Yes.
280
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,799
I was just telling you
how much I love this country.
281
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,999
Well, that makes two of us.
282
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,319
I do. I love it.
283
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,639
I was just thinking how wonderful it
would be if it were to love me back.
284
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,199
Right!
How do you see that happening?
285
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,399
Oh... I don't know.
286
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,640
I suppose one way would be...
287
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,759
I honour you with
the Order of Australia,
288
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,919
then your media outlets
could stop treating me
289
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,320
like I'm some paedo terrorist.
290
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,160
Are you suggesting a quid pro quo?
291
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,999
Who could ever say?
292
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,680
Well, that'd be you, Ma'am.
293
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,439
Because it sounds like you
just tried to bribe me.
294
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:40,759
No!
295
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,319
Ha! No, no - no, no, no, no, no!
296
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,479
No medals, no bribery,
no quid pro quo.
297
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,839
I don't even speak Latin. Dead
language. Who's got time for that? Not me.
298
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,479
I'm too busy hunting!
299
00:13:52,801 --> 00:13:54,120
Hunting and killing.
300
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,239
That's one of mine.
301
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,639
It's a salmon.
302
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,679
Ah. Fish hunting - I do that, too.
303
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,999
You mean fishing?
Not the way I do it.
304
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,679
You ever hunt a kangaroo?
305
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:06,919
Does a bear shit in the woods?
306
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,319
Better not when I'm around
because I'll have shot it dead
307
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,639
before it can wipe its arse.
308
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,839
Well, well, well, I might have
had you pegged all wrong.
309
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,079
I was thinking you were just a
stuck-up incompetent waste of space.
310
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,839
And I took you for an avaricious,
insufferable old bore!
311
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,119
How wrong we both were! Wrong.
312
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,599
Yeah, well, maybe we can find a way
of working to our mutual benefit.
313
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,319
Are you suggesting...
314
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,839
a quid pro quo?
315
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,360
Who could ever say?
316
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,759
I'm taking my mother roo hunting
this weekend. You should join us.
317
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,399
What do you reckon we roll our
sleeves up and get our hands...
318
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,319
"Nice and bloody"?!
319
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,119
That's how our hands will be
after we've been hunting -
320
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,759
"nice and bloody".
321
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,439
That's disgusting. Yes. It is.
322
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,919
As you will soon discover,
because you're coming with me.
323
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,799
No, I can't go hunting.
No - I'm vegan.
324
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,159
Well, I suggest you load up
on hemp balls, Pollyanna,
325
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,960
because you're going
to need your energy.
326
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,599
Another day, another dip
in the polls for Queen Georgiana.
327
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,319
She wants to recall the $5 note
328
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,559
because she doesn't
like the picture.
329
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,079
I mean, what an egomaniac.
330
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,919
This is going to cost our bank
millions of dollars
331
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,760
so she can look prettier
on our $5 note.
332
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:24,839
No!
333
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,039
Oh, yuck.
334
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,559
Oh, my - is that a man?
335
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,799
It doesn't look good to me.
It doesn't look good at all.
336
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,879
The entitlement of this -
I'm just furious.
337
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,999
She is treating our currency
338
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,559
like her private Instagram.
339
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,519
"I don't like my picture.
I want a new filter."
340
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,959
Was that the first time she saw
the photo, or did she saw...
341
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,759
Did she see the photo... She would
have had to see the photo. Exactly.
342
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,159
So it's just a waste of money.
343
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,239
You need to let go of this idea
of changing the note.
344
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,639
Absolutely not!
345
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,039
Public opinion
is trending against it!
346
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,439
You can't trust the public -
they don't know anything!
347
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,239
With the greatest respect, Ma'am,
348
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,599
where YOU'RE concerned,
public opinion is everything.
349
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,919
They are our litmus test
and our scoreboard all in one.
350
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,040
I grew up in the public eye.
351
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,079
A little fat ginger princess.
352
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,879
The lesser of the two royals.
353
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,599
And while my golden child
of a brother could do no wrong,
354
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,759
I was vilified for wearing glasses
and eating crisps.
355
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,759
The only words of encouragement I
got from my largely absent parents
356
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,679
were, "Well, darling, no-one
likes a four-eyed tubster!"
357
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,839
So, with the greatest respect,
Zoe...
358
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,679
while public opinion
may be everything,
359
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,119
the public can be ignorant
and shallow and cruel.
360
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,839
And if they think I'm going to allow
my ascendancy to this throne
361
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,239
be commemorated with a pocket-sized
opportunity to mock me
362
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,239
every time they pay
for their macchiato,
363
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,359
they're very much mistaken.
364
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,919
Now...
365
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,719
set up a meeting
at the Reserve Bank
366
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,679
at which I will tell them they must
reprint all the notes.
367
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,199
And if they question this
catastrophically vain
368
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,439
and reckless course of action,
369
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,359
I will kindly remind them
370
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,360
THAT I'M THE FUCKING QUEEN!
371
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,719
I mean...
372
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,520
she did love her crisps.
373
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,799
Your Majesty. Don't get up,
Mr Walsh. This won't take long.
374
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,239
I believe you know why I'm here.
375
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,559
Indeed I do, Ma'am.
376
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,599
So allow me to get to
the heart of the matter.
377
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,799
Setting aside your obvious upset
at the unfortunate mix-up,
378
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,319
it is my duty to remind you
that your role as queen -
379
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,919
while clearly a
benefit to Australia -
380
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,239
is purely ceremonial
381
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,479
in terms of your relationship
with the Reserve Bank,
382
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,199
making your views immaterial.
383
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,839
Any further interference
regarding the banknotes
384
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,039
could be considered a violation
of federal laws
385
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,400
and leave you open to prosecution.
386
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,880
Oh, well, if you can't do it,
you can't do it.
387
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,480
Bye!
388
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,280
It was worth a try!
389
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,560
Who fancies a froyo?
390
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,999
Big Rock Candy Mountain
by Harry McClintock
391
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,759
♪ One evening, as the sun went down
392
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,479
♪ And the jungle fire was burning
393
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,919
♪ Down the track came a hobo hiking
394
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,839
♪ And he said, boys, I'm not turning
395
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,719
♪ I'm headed for a land
that's far away
396
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,199
♪ Beside the crystal fountains
397
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,839
♪ So come with me
We'll go and see
398
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,839
♪ The Big Rock Candy Mountains... ♪
399
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,599
You all right there, Grizzly Adams?
400
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,239
This feels so wrong.
401
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,919
I worked for the Humane Society
in Oatley when I left uni.
402
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,559
If they could see me now...
403
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,759
We are in the middle
of bum-fuck nowhere.
404
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,439
I think your secret's safe here.
405
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,559
Ma'am, I apologise in advance if my
anxiety gets the better of me today
406
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,959
and I don't use proper protocol.
407
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,719
Your lack of ceremony will be
the least of our problems today.
408
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,679
Your Majesty, I'd like you
to meet my mother, June.
409
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,719
Well, this is lovely.
Pleasure to meet you.
410
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,119
You're holding it upside down, son.
411
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,599
We've got a lovely day for it.
412
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,199
You like to hunt, June?
413
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,639
Oh, she likes to do more than
just hunt, don't you, Mum?
414
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,999
Yeah - like to skin 'em, too.
415
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:46,399
Nothing better than being elbow-deep
in the entrails of a wild beast
416
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,439
and walking away with a new rug.
417
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,559
All right, should we get going?
418
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,080
Go on!
419
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,719
Good boy. Ha-ha!
420
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,759
Is there anything more peaceful
than...
421
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,959
being out here just
at one with nature?
422
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,759
Got the bastard!
Go get him, Oscar - go get him!
423
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,399
You certainly are at home
with a gun in your hands.
424
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,439
Ooh, you should see her
with a bow and arrow. Oh!
425
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,079
Stick an apple on his head
and I'll split it at 30 yards.
426
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,639
Oh! Maybe later, but that's
definitely happening.
427
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,319
So, Richard, I was just very keen to
pick up on our last discussion...
428
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,999
Got it! Go get him, Oscar!
429
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,479
Oh, great, now I'm deaf.
430
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,399
I'm just saying, it makes
sense, doesn't it?
431
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,719
The Queen and the media mogul
working together for their mutual benefit.
432
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,760
Too easy! Sh!
433
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,599
Here he is. What is it?
434
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,839
It's a kangaroo, you idiot.
435
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,239
It's beautiful.
436
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,959
This is the big buck I've been
trying to get for the last year.
437
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,079
He is really sneaky...
So keep quiet.
438
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,359
Absolutely - we wouldn't want it
to hop away before we blast its head off.
439
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,160
Oh...
440
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,319
Oh, for fuck's sake!
441
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,559
My bad. Right, that's it.
We're splitting up.
442
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,039
Better get your rifles
out of your arses
443
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,560
because no-one's going home
until we bag that roo!
444
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,999
I'm in actual hell.
445
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,279
Oh, no, it's all right, I've got it.
446
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,320
Ah!
447
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,399
We're not really going
to shoot anything, are we?
448
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,079
No, of course we're not
going to shoot anything!
449
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,479
God, I'm starving.
Well, you're in luck.
450
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,679
Pretty sure roo burgers
will be on the menu later.
451
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,799
You realise your anxiety's
gone to the next level?
452
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,519
Sorry. It's all right. Please
don't spoil it by apologising.
453
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,160
How are we going to get out of this?
454
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,039
Well, we could just fire off a
shot and say the roo ran away.
455
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,959
Oh, that's a very good idea, Ma'am.
456
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,999
Where? Anywhere.
457
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,519
You shot the roo.
458
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,359
It was an accident.
You killed the roo.
459
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,079
You told me to fire off a shot.
Yes, but not at the bloody roo!
460
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,559
I wasn't trying to shoot the roo!
461
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,879
There's only one thing out here
462
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,519
we didn't want to shoot
and you shot it!
463
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,799
It was your idea!
464
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,319
You are an awful, awful man!
465
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,719
Oh, my God. It's not dead!
466
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,079
Look what you've done!
You've not killed it!
467
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,799
You just said you didn't
want me to kill it!
468
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,411
I didn't want you to shoot it but,
if you were going to shoot it,
469
00:22:19,436 --> 00:22:20,776
you should have shot it
and killed it,
470
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,479
not shot it and not killed it!
Oh, my head is exploding!
471
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,679
It is writhing in agony!
472
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,239
What are we going to do?
473
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,879
Shoot it and kill it, not shoot
it and not kill it again!
474
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,199
Why do I have to do it?
I already shot it once.
475
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,440
Exactly.
476
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,399
I can't do it. Oh-ho! My God,
look at the eyes!
477
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,319
Look, he's looking at me.
478
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,519
Oh, I feel sick.
479
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,319
God, you are absolutely the most
useless thing on this planet!
480
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,439
Give it to me.
481
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,760
Give! It! To! Me!
482
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,119
Oh, my God,
I see what you mean about the eyes!
483
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:02,439
I can't do it!
484
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,559
Maybe we could save him!
What?! How?!
485
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,239
Well, he's not looking too bad -
we could get him to a vet.
486
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,639
We can get him to a kangaroo vet.
487
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,719
Yes! Yes, there must
be one around here.
488
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,119
We will get him to a kangaroo
vet and we will save him.
489
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,399
You hear that, boy?
We're going to get you some help.
490
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,119
Everything's going to be OK.
491
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,159
Holy shit!
492
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,360
Oh!
493
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,960
That's it, you beauties,
one last shot.
494
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,959
Now, I'm not going
to lie to you guys.
495
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,039
You had me really worried at first.
496
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,999
But I tell you, dropping
a roo from that distance,
497
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,679
and then going in close range,
looking him right in the eyes
498
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,759
and blowing his brains out!
499
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,119
You kidding me?
500
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,319
I assure you, I couldn't make it up.
501
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,360
Your Majesty...
502
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,039
you are a stone-cold savage.
503
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,680
I'm all in.
504
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,439
Who's ready for some roo burgers?
505
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,800
Oh.
506
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,719
The note is officially
in circulation, Ma'am.
507
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,119
And may I commend you
on your very convincing speech,
508
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,359
which can't have been easy for you,
given how, shall we say,
509
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,159
viscerally you feel about it?
510
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,199
Mm. Know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em.
511
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,239
Know when to walk away? Quite.
512
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,439
And, lucky for me,
I never carry cash,
513
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,439
so I'll never have to look at
that rancid image again. Hm!
514
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,799
Thank you, Peter.
515
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,999
And, er,
well done on the Kenny Rogers catch!
516
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:38,799
Can we leave, please?
517
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,880
The whole place
smells of mini quiche.
518
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,439
Who's going to tell her
that's her official portrait?
519
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,960
God, not me.
I'd rather shoot another kangaroo.
520
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,439
The ongoing... No, thank you.
..the housing crisis...
521
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,759
No. Boring.
522
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,959
Couldn't expect it to be...
Commitment ceremony? Yes, please.
523
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,239
So... I'm staying.
524
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,719
That's... That's easy.
525
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,359
Yeah! Whoo!
526
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,559
Coming up after the break,
our couples...
527
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,079
We had a few nights together
and the banter was great and...
528
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,879
Oh, no... I honestly
thought we had a thing.
529
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,479
But she lured me in,
530
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,679
she spat me out.
531
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,720
And to shut me up, she gave me this.
532
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,919
Oh, no!
533
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,039
Which may or may not be
534
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,239
a royal heirloom.
535
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,759
Stunning revelations there.
536
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,479
And coming up, leaked photos
537
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,719
of Queen Georgiana
538
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,639
that have animal rights activists
539
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:29,879
up in arms.
540
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,039
FU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-UCK!
541
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,720
♪ Oh, no
542
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,639
♪ Whose big idea was this, huh?
543
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,279
♪ Oh, no
544
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,839
♪ We had a good thing
545
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,719
♪ Now it looks like
we're stuck with it
546
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,199
♪ Oh, no
547
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,039
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle
548
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,639
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle
Oh, no
549
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,519
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle
550
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,319
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle
Oh, no
551
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,799
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle
552
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,400
♪ The vandal, too hot to handle... ♪
553
00:26:00,424 --> 00:26:02,424
_
43026
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