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1
00:00:06,379 --> 00:00:07,689
[shutter clicks]
2
00:00:07,793 --> 00:00:09,551
Um...
3
00:00:09,655 --> 00:00:11,551
could you repeat the question?
4
00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:14,172
I only understood
the word "the."
5
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,000
Sure.
"In Nixon's America,
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,344
"would you say gender equity
7
00:00:17,448 --> 00:00:19,448
is about more
than just equal pay?"
8
00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:21,758
And the word "the" is not
in that question.
9
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:26,413
All right, let's just skip
to the next one.
10
00:00:28,275 --> 00:00:29,689
Kay, my turn.
11
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:32,310
"As the Soviet Union
and the collectivist East
12
00:00:32,413 --> 00:00:34,448
turn towards radical egalita"--
13
00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:36,206
Tarianism.
Radical egalitarianism.
14
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:37,758
"Radical egalitarianism,
15
00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:41,172
what role do Western
democracies have in"--
16
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,551
you know what, I don't think
you're gonna get this question.
17
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:45,517
I don't see a world
where we don't.
18
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:48,517
Abolishing gender distinctions
is squarely in the zeitgeist.
19
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:51,620
We'll be lucky if any
journalists show up to this,
20
00:00:51,724 --> 00:00:53,379
let alone the smart ones.
21
00:00:53,482 --> 00:00:55,344
Bambi's right.
Stick to the basics.
22
00:00:55,448 --> 00:00:57,310
Hey, this question
is mostly in Latin.
23
00:00:57,413 --> 00:00:58,517
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I know Pig Latin.
24
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,103
Hey, what are your turn-ons?
25
00:01:00,206 --> 00:01:01,310
Oh, and a follow-up,
turn-offs.
26
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:02,517
What's your sign, honey?
27
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:03,517
Ooh, I was gonna ask that.
28
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,724
First question:
29
00:01:04,827 --> 00:01:06,206
I like it
when girls dress sexy.
30
00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:07,379
Oh, my God.
31
00:01:07,482 --> 00:01:08,448
I don't like it
when they don't.
32
00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:09,689
- Wrong.
- How could it be wrong?
33
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:11,620
It's an opinion.
And I'm with you, buddy.
34
00:01:11,724 --> 00:01:13,068
You guys talk too fast.
35
00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:14,586
Is this what the conference
is gonna be like?
36
00:01:14,689 --> 00:01:15,931
- Yes, definitely.
- Not a chance.
37
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,000
Yes, it will.
38
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,068
[funky music]
39
00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:22,000
♪ ♪
40
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,965
♪ Oh! ♪
41
00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:27,448
That man,
that beautiful jar of nothing,
42
00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:28,620
cannot represent
43
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:30,310
the premiere issue
of our magazine.
44
00:01:30,413 --> 00:01:31,551
He's on the cover.
45
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:33,551
He's representing
the fuck out of it.
46
00:01:33,655 --> 00:01:36,413
No one would be interested
if it's just you up there,
47
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:37,655
charming as you may be.
48
00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:38,655
This is our only chance
49
00:01:38,758 --> 00:01:40,068
to make a first impression.
50
00:01:40,172 --> 00:01:42,551
We are introducing
something completely new.
51
00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:44,275
We have to get this right.
52
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,620
You may be the brains,
but he's the face,
53
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:49,413
and there's a reason they call
the face "the moneymaker."
54
00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:51,137
It's what makes the money.
55
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,310
Yes, I get it.
56
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:57,034
♪ ♪
57
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:59,965
He doesn't understand
rudimentary hand signals.
58
00:02:00,068 --> 00:02:01,379
Gorillas catch on faster.
59
00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:02,517
You got a couple of days.
60
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,896
Train him up as best you can
61
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,689
and, I don't know,
maybe lose the 'tude.
62
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:09,448
"Lose the 'tude."
63
00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:11,034
Got a call from City Hall
this morning.
64
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:13,034
Enjoy your little badge gag
on the councilwoman?
65
00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:14,620
Troop 69?
66
00:02:14,724 --> 00:02:16,793
Yeah, Art Department
knocked it out of the park.
67
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:19,344
Well, now we're being audited
by the county tax assessor.
68
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,034
Couldn't leave it alone,
could you?
69
00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:23,724
You know, Westbury should
really give me a badge.
70
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:25,482
Teaching our bright young minds
71
00:02:25,586 --> 00:02:28,689
that there's more than one way
to eat a cookie.
72
00:02:28,793 --> 00:02:30,206
- Doug.
- Hey, did you hear
73
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,724
Scotty gave notice
down the block?
74
00:02:31,827 --> 00:02:34,172
I bet we could swoop in,
make an offer,
75
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,931
and nab that building
before they even hire a broker.
76
00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:39,137
- We don't have the cash.
- We will.
77
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:40,344
We are bleeding money.
78
00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:41,931
You gotta spend money
to make money.
79
00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:44,000
You gotta have money
to spend money.
80
00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:45,655
Says who?
81
00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:47,655
Don't worry about the audit.
Our books are good.
82
00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:49,586
Gerry will handle it.
83
00:02:50,689 --> 00:02:53,206
Hey, lose the sweater.
Throw this over your shoulder.
84
00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:59,620
"An exciting new chapter
in the annals of erotica."
85
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:01,448
Annal is Tompkins'
favorite kind of erotica.
86
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:02,793
[laughter]
87
00:03:02,896 --> 00:03:06,517
"Who says feminism
can't be sexy?"
88
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,000
This is gold.
89
00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:09,931
We gotta send someone
to cover this press conference.
90
00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:11,689
Is "female gaze"
just another way
91
00:03:11,793 --> 00:03:12,931
of saying carpet munchers?
92
00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:13,965
[laughter]
93
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,931
See?
This stuff writes itself.
94
00:03:16,034 --> 00:03:17,482
Anyone up
for a fish-in-a-barrel gig?
95
00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:19,724
600 words.
96
00:03:19,827 --> 00:03:21,103
I'll take this one.
97
00:03:21,206 --> 00:03:22,931
Glenn.
98
00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:25,551
all: Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn,
99
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:29,000
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.
100
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,448
Okay. Let's review.
101
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,206
Feminism is?
102
00:03:35,655 --> 00:03:37,034
- Good.
- And?
103
00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:38,413
Started with witches.
104
00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:39,896
No. that one's on me.
105
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,034
I should not have opened
with the Salem witch trials.
106
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:45,482
Okay, let's get back on course
in the struggle for...
107
00:03:45,586 --> 00:03:48,206
Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
108
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:49,482
Was one of the names
109
00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:51,000
that I mentioned
in the introduction.
110
00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:53,793
- My mom almost named me Cody.
- Oh.
111
00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:55,793
But she didn't
'cause our last name.
112
00:03:55,896 --> 00:03:57,724
She said that people
wouldn't take me seriously
113
00:03:57,827 --> 00:03:59,103
if my name was Cody Brody.
114
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,379
Well, she sounds
like a smart woman.
115
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:02,724
Would you call her a feminist?
116
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:03,965
Not to her face.
117
00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:05,689
Come on.
It's not a bad word.
118
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:07,724
Feminism is about equality.
119
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,827
It's about giving people power
and a voice,
120
00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:11,758
even if they are
some pretty little thing
121
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:14,344
that hasn't been taught
to use theirs yet.
122
00:04:14,448 --> 00:04:17,793
Okay.
Sorry. Geez.
123
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:20,413
Now I understand why
women have so much suffrage.
124
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:24,689
All right.
125
00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:26,448
How about we have a drink?
- Sure.
126
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,068
- Okay.
- Got any beer?
127
00:04:28,172 --> 00:04:31,586
No, I do not.
I have a lovely Pouilly-Fuissé.
128
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,344
Trust me.
129
00:04:41,034 --> 00:04:42,172
Hmm.
130
00:04:42,172 --> 00:04:44,310
[soft music playing]
131
00:04:44,413 --> 00:04:45,586
Shouldn't you be bowling?
132
00:04:45,689 --> 00:04:47,275
I should.
133
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,724
I'm taking a look at Gerry's...
134
00:04:49,827 --> 00:04:51,896
I'm not sure what to call this.
Work?
135
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,482
Now, go easy on Gerry.
He's a real accountant.
136
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,448
I poached him from Capitol.
137
00:04:56,551 --> 00:04:57,689
He's the one that figured out
138
00:04:57,793 --> 00:05:00,000
how to write off
Phil Spector's guns.
139
00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:02,827
This is a mess, and I don't
even have an accounting degree.
140
00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:04,620
Well, I don't even have
a high school diploma,
141
00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:06,862
yet here we are.
142
00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:10,379
To punching above our weight.
143
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:13,586
Cheers.
144
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,862
You do run
a successful business.
145
00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:18,620
- Thank you.
- Sloppily.
146
00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:20,448
Half your employees
have criminal records.
147
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,034
The other half
are lucky they don't.
148
00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:23,482
You're spending money
you don't have
149
00:05:23,586 --> 00:05:24,724
on things you don't need.
150
00:05:24,827 --> 00:05:26,172
Subjective.
151
00:05:26,275 --> 00:05:27,793
Come on. Hold on now.
152
00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:32,517
Look at what--
look at what Frank sent over.
153
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,310
The Tower That Titty Built.
154
00:05:34,413 --> 00:05:37,655
Don't forget our new friend,
good old cock and balls.
155
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:39,275
You're telling me
you wouldn't want to show up
156
00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:41,103
to work here every day?
157
00:05:41,206 --> 00:05:44,931
Come on, Tins, our plan.
This plan.
158
00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:49,482
Big circulation,
big advertisers, big money.
159
00:05:49,586 --> 00:05:51,068
The same plan
that we came up with
160
00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:53,482
in the back of that '64 Impala,
161
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,448
talking out of our asses,
162
00:05:55,551 --> 00:05:59,344
is as alive now
as it has ever been.
163
00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:02,172
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
164
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:04,827
You're on top of it?
165
00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:07,655
Like a duck on a June bug.
166
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:11,413
Then you must know 50 grand
is missing from these books.
167
00:06:16,965 --> 00:06:18,724
- No, I didn't.
- Hmm.
168
00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:20,689
You didn't know that.
169
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:23,034
Well, now I do.
170
00:06:23,137 --> 00:06:25,586
So the patri-archie
forces men
171
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,482
into roles
they don't want to play either.
172
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,586
By George,
I think he's got it.
173
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,620
It's Shane.
[both laugh]
174
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,896
Yeah.
175
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,620
But you're a good teacher.
176
00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:36,413
Thank you.
177
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:38,551
Most of the girls--
178
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:41,448
women I meet aren't interested
179
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:43,034
in what I have to talk about.
180
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:47,344
Well, I can tell that
you're a very sensitive man.
181
00:06:48,827 --> 00:06:51,275
You know, firemen are
supposed to be tough,
182
00:06:51,379 --> 00:06:53,758
and, like, I'm not afraid
of fire or anything.
183
00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,413
Probably should be.
184
00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:57,827
But sometimes,
the other guys,
185
00:06:57,931 --> 00:07:02,103
they can just be so... mean.
186
00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:04,172
Aww.
187
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,862
Like, one time,
I rescued this cat
188
00:07:06,965 --> 00:07:09,172
from a burning building.
189
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,586
I rushed outside,
but it wasn't breathing.
190
00:07:11,689 --> 00:07:15,724
So I gave it mouth-to-mouth,
which totally works on animals.
191
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:19,448
I would never have thought
to do that.
192
00:07:19,551 --> 00:07:21,000
But that night
in the showers,
193
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:25,103
the other guys, they just kept
meowing and meowing.
194
00:07:25,206 --> 00:07:26,275
Oh.
195
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,482
I ran and hid
in engine number nine.
196
00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:31,655
Those men, they're not tough.
They're just scared.
197
00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:34,034
Scared of being vulnerable.
198
00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:36,896
Now, I can tell you that
if women were firefighters,
199
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,931
then no one would ridicule you
200
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:41,586
for saving
a helpless little kitty cat.
201
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,344
Too bad
women can't be firemen.
202
00:07:43,448 --> 00:07:44,655
Says who?
203
00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:49,310
Well, it's right there
in the name.
204
00:07:49,413 --> 00:07:51,931
Fireman.
- Okay.
205
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:54,896
Oh, but also, you have to be
able to carry 190 pounds.
206
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,965
Oh, really?
Is that a lot?
207
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:03,862
You're looking at a buck-90.
208
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:06,655
Huh? Yeah.
209
00:08:06,758 --> 00:08:09,448
Wow. Okay.
May I?
210
00:08:09,551 --> 00:08:11,379
Mm-hmm.
[both laugh]
211
00:08:13,137 --> 00:08:14,586
Oh, my God. No.
[both laugh]
212
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:15,793
Hold on.
213
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,172
I'm sure if I just, you know--
214
00:08:17,275 --> 00:08:18,862
I had the proper training
and everything,
215
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,965
then, you know...
216
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,103
Am I allowed to say
you're pretty?
217
00:08:26,517 --> 00:08:29,344
Well, I wouldn't accuse you
of objectifying me if you did.
218
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,310
Hmm.
219
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:38,517
Let me just--
220
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,551
[King Floyd's "Groove Me"]
221
00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,172
♪ Uh, aww ♪
222
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,724
♪ Sookie, sookie now ♪
- Oh, my God.
223
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,551
♪ Hey, ow, uh ♪
224
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,034
[laughs]
225
00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:50,000
Now, in a real fire,
I'd be carrying you
226
00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:53,379
out of the building
and not into the bedroom.
227
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:57,103
Lucky for us, the only thing
on fire is our libidos.
228
00:08:57,206 --> 00:08:58,793
No, no, no.
It's okay.
229
00:08:58,896 --> 00:09:01,862
It's just a fancy way
of saying you're--
230
00:09:01,965 --> 00:09:06,068
that I--I am--I am
very excited about this.
231
00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:14,000
And this is not something
I ever normally...
232
00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:16,724
Wow. Do.
233
00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:18,172
Oh, my God.
234
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:19,655
♪ Happily, nah-nah ♪
235
00:09:19,655 --> 00:09:23,034
♪ In a great big
ol' roomy house ♪
236
00:09:23,034 --> 00:09:24,862
♪ And I know you're gonna ♪
237
00:09:24,862 --> 00:09:26,758
♪ Groove me, baby ♪
238
00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:30,896
But, you know, I guess...
why not?
239
00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:32,896
♪ Make me feel
good inside ♪
240
00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:37,275
♪ Come on,
and groove me, baby ♪
241
00:09:37,275 --> 00:09:40,448
♪ I need you to groove me ♪
242
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:43,275
♪ Oh, yeah,
now, now, darling ♪
243
00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:46,793
♪ Uh, come one, come on ♪
244
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,206
♪ Hey! Uh! ♪
245
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:50,482
♪ Hey there, sugar darlin' ♪
246
00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:52,241
♪ Come on, give me something ♪
247
00:09:52,241 --> 00:09:53,448
♪ Girl, I've been needing
for days ♪
248
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,655
I just want
to make you feel good.
249
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,206
You do?
250
00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,862
♪ Yes, I'm good,
good loving ♪
251
00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:01,206
♪ With plenty,
plenty hugging ♪
252
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,931
Okay.
253
00:10:02,931 --> 00:10:05,241
♪ You make me feel
good inside ♪
254
00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:09,931
♪ Come on
and groove me, baby ♪
255
00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:12,793
♪ Move me, baby ♪
256
00:10:12,793 --> 00:10:15,517
♪ Oh, sock it to me, mama ♪
257
00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:16,689
♪ Uh! ♪
258
00:10:16,793 --> 00:10:20,586
[birds chirping]
259
00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:33,827
[phone rings]
260
00:10:33,931 --> 00:10:35,103
Hello?
261
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:36,275
- Hey, honey.
- Hello.
262
00:10:36,275 --> 00:10:37,413
Just calling to remind you
263
00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:38,896
about the editor's photo
today.
264
00:10:38,896 --> 00:10:40,310
You have the clothes
picked out?
265
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:41,413
I surely do.
266
00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:43,827
Ooh, someone's chirpy
this a.m.
267
00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:46,586
Someone had a very fun night.
268
00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:49,724
- Oh, my--did someone have--
- Yes! Yes.
269
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:53,586
And not even in the confines
of a committed partnership.
270
00:10:53,689 --> 00:10:55,482
I had a one-night stand.
271
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,896
- No!
- Yes.
272
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:58,034
Well, check that
off your list.
273
00:10:58,137 --> 00:10:59,551
How do you know
about my list?
274
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,172
Girls like you
always have a list.
275
00:11:01,275 --> 00:11:04,655
Oh.
Well, it was transcendent.
276
00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:06,379
I don't know what came over me.
277
00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:09,482
And then--and then,
like he read my mind,
278
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,103
he was just gone.
279
00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:14,275
Guess who brought croy-sants?
280
00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:20,448
It's French for pastry.
281
00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:23,724
I have to go.
282
00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,758
[funky music]
283
00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:29,517
[bell clanging]
- [laughs]
284
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,103
The bell tolls for thee.
285
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,586
You told everyone?
286
00:11:32,689 --> 00:11:34,827
Does this look like
a place of discretion?
287
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:37,034
Oh, come on.
Don't cheapen it.
288
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:38,620
'Cause I already did!
289
00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:40,551
[laughter]
290
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:41,827
So who's the lucky guy?
291
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,068
- A lady never--
- Uh-uh, spill.
292
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:44,551
Yeah, we want details.
293
00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:46,931
Wait, it was Shane.
294
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,344
- No.
- Yes.
295
00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:49,689
You had training last night.
296
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:50,793
It just happened.
297
00:11:50,896 --> 00:11:52,000
You know, a few verres de vin.
298
00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:53,862
- I so called it.
- Mm, look at you.
299
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,827
Using your powerful position
in publishing
300
00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:56,862
to score some tail.
301
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,965
Ooh, baby.
302
00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:00,275
Someone's playing with fire.
303
00:12:00,379 --> 00:12:02,206
You all told me to do it!
304
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:04,586
Before we hired him, Joyce.
305
00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:05,965
So unprofessional.
306
00:12:06,068 --> 00:12:07,586
Don't listen to him.
You deserve it.
307
00:12:07,689 --> 00:12:10,137
Mm, three of my five
current stalkers
308
00:12:10,241 --> 00:12:11,655
were former employers.
309
00:12:11,758 --> 00:12:13,172
No, it's not like that.
310
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,068
You were the one worried
about the press conference,
311
00:12:15,172 --> 00:12:16,655
and now you've gone
and given this boy
312
00:12:16,758 --> 00:12:18,068
something else to think about.
313
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,206
That narrative may fit
your tawdry affairs,
314
00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:21,379
but I can assure you
315
00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:24,448
that my eye
is squarely on the ball.
316
00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:26,379
Which one?
This one or this one?
317
00:12:26,482 --> 00:12:28,275
[laughter]
318
00:12:32,724 --> 00:12:34,862
I'm gonna have to go back
and do some forensics here.
319
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,241
I mean, the receipts I get
320
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:38,103
are on scraps of paper, matchbooks,
321
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:39,620
toilet tissue sometimes.
322
00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:43,172
It's a frigging miracle
I get us in the ballpark.
323
00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:45,413
You can take my word,
those numbers don't add up.
324
00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:47,103
And it's a very big ballpark.
325
00:12:47,206 --> 00:12:48,413
Is that my handwriting?
326
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,413
You know what?
These are my wife's glasses.
327
00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:57,241
That'll be all, Gerry.
328
00:12:59,931 --> 00:13:03,000
[energetic rock music]
329
00:13:03,103 --> 00:13:04,413
I mean, he's not a crook.
330
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,068
Just a terrible accountant.
331
00:13:06,172 --> 00:13:08,000
Agreed.
332
00:13:08,103 --> 00:13:09,517
Why don't we round up
the troops?
333
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,413
Somebody's gotta
know something.
334
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:13,517
You might as well come clean
because we already know.
335
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:15,482
About the copy machine
we fenced?
336
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,172
Sure, I pawned the cameras,
but I bought better ones
337
00:13:19,275 --> 00:13:21,482
and I also made rent,
so win-win.
338
00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:23,689
[crying]
339
00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:27,551
♪ ♪
340
00:13:27,551 --> 00:13:30,137
♪ Girl, there's a big,
big world out there ♪
341
00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:33,000
Between the fall of 1970
and the spring of 1971,
342
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,241
yeah, technically,
I did live here.
343
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:36,827
But that's just 'cause
I was hiding
344
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,241
from the Lambs of God.
345
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:45,793
Oh, those are mine.
346
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:47,482
New Pinto.
347
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,896
Bought with money
from a dead aunt
348
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,241
who died of natural causes.
349
00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:54,689
[whistles casually]
350
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:00,068
- Did she kill her aunt?
- Yes.
351
00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:02,275
This is what happens
when you hire people
352
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:03,586
2:00 a.m. drunk on a Wednesday
353
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:05,241
because they beat you at darts.
354
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,551
Kenny was the best
copy editor we've ever had.
355
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:09,724
I'll defend that hire
till the day I die.
356
00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:11,655
Real businesses
don't operate this way.
357
00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:13,034
All right.
So what do you want me to do?
358
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:14,793
Fire everyone?
Just clean house?
359
00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:19,413
No, but we gotta
start somewhere.
360
00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:20,620
Fine.
361
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,241
I'll fire Gerry.
362
00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:30,000
- I'm glad we're doing this.
- Thank you.
363
00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:32,724
Me too.
364
00:14:33,793 --> 00:14:37,758
Tomorrow is the big day,
and I just wanted to make sure
365
00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:41,241
that we're both understanding
what this is.
366
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:44,206
- Looks like fried squid to me.
- Yes. Yeah.
367
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,103
That is the food
that we ordered.
368
00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:48,000
But on a deeper level...
369
00:14:49,517 --> 00:14:52,689
there are power dynamics
in our relationship.
370
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,827
I love when you say
smart things.
371
00:14:55,586 --> 00:14:59,758
And those dynamics make
issues of consent complicated.
372
00:14:59,862 --> 00:15:00,862
Wait, am I in trouble?
373
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:02,275
No, no, no, not at all.
374
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,655
It's just...
375
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:05,931
last night was fun.
376
00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:07,068
Very fun.
377
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,517
But it was just fun.
378
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,172
Yes.
379
00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:12,344
I understand
what you're saying.
380
00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:13,931
It was just fun.
381
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:15,758
Right. Yes.
Oh, God, good.
382
00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:17,310
Okay.
'Cause we're working together.
383
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:18,896
No one says
you can't have some fun
384
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
while you're working together,
385
00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:22,344
but we both know what this is.
386
00:15:22,448 --> 00:15:24,034
I am so glad
you said something,
387
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:26,137
because it was on my mind too.
388
00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:27,862
Oh.
389
00:15:32,068 --> 00:15:35,379
[both moaning]
390
00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:38,344
I don't even use these
to go to the bathroom.
391
00:15:38,448 --> 00:15:39,620
Where do you go?
392
00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:41,241
What?
No, I use bathrooms.
393
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:42,379
I just don't go in public.
394
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:43,896
Oh, my God, just keep--
395
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,034
[funky music]
396
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:53,724
♪ ♪
397
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,896
I should have debuted
the classier logo.
398
00:15:57,896 --> 00:15:59,103
Hello, Norman.
399
00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:00,793
20 Bottom Dollar titles
in a decade,
400
00:16:00,896 --> 00:16:03,448
and this is the one
that gets a fancy launch.
401
00:16:03,551 --> 00:16:05,137
[chuckles]
Look at you.
402
00:16:05,241 --> 00:16:07,275
William Randolph Hearst reborn.
403
00:16:07,379 --> 00:16:08,896
You know this one's
full of dongs
404
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,413
and lady opinions, right?
405
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:11,965
"The Valley Porn Courier"
covers all things
406
00:16:12,068 --> 00:16:13,862
Bottom Dollar,
not just what I find appealing.
407
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:15,793
That's a promise I made
to my readers.
408
00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:18,862
- Norman.
- Your number one fan.
409
00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:19,793
Hey.
410
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,413
Let me show you
to your VIP seat.
411
00:16:21,517 --> 00:16:23,827
- Of course.
- We knew he would show up.
412
00:16:23,931 --> 00:16:27,724
What about everyone else?
- Yeah, it's--it's a turnout.
413
00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,448
- Voilà.
- I like it.
414
00:16:30,551 --> 00:16:31,862
- You do?
- I do.
415
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,965
We are packed
to the gills out there.
416
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,275
Ah, you screwed him again.
417
00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:38,310
Boorish and inappropriate.
418
00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:40,827
And accurate.
[both laugh]
419
00:16:40,931 --> 00:16:43,137
It's fine. It's fine.
It's under control.
420
00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:45,172
Good.
421
00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:47,275
- You okay?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
422
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:50,965
It's just,
there's actually people here.
423
00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:54,137
Yeah, because our magazine
is a jolt of something new.
424
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,344
It's a whisper and a scream.
425
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:59,793
I guess it is.
Just don't blow it, okay?
426
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:03,206
- Okay.
- Just ignore him.
427
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:05,034
I support your sexploits.
428
00:17:05,137 --> 00:17:06,965
You should've been doing this
a lot sooner.
429
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,310
- I know.
- Mm-hmm.
430
00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:10,724
God.
What was he so hung up about?
431
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,517
Just think,
all of that free love
432
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,896
out there for the taking,
and somehow,
433
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,551
I thought I would have
to pay for it.
434
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:16,896
Sorry I'm late.
435
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,758
Pop's van broke down.
436
00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:20,655
- Oh, we're doing that.
- You brought your dad?
437
00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:23,482
Both my parents.
They're super proud of me.
438
00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,000
I'm the first person
in my family
439
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,827
to attend a press conference.
440
00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:28,655
Hey, it's time.
441
00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,241
Don't be nervous.
We did the work.
442
00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:32,551
You're gonna do great.
- I'm not nervous.
443
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:35,241
For the first time, maybe ever,
I know exactly what I want.
444
00:17:35,344 --> 00:17:36,413
Well, great.
Use that.
445
00:17:36,517 --> 00:17:38,655
- It's you.
- What?
446
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,448
You're like
the sexiest teacher ever,
447
00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:44,862
except not married,
and also, I'm of age now.
448
00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:47,586
No. Okay. No, hold on.
We were just having fun.
449
00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,758
Yeah.
That's how it started.
450
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:51,034
With a spark.
451
00:17:51,724 --> 00:17:53,310
But what's love
without a spark?
452
00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:56,551
[applause]
453
00:17:56,655 --> 00:17:57,931
[flashes popping]
454
00:17:58,034 --> 00:18:00,448
[breathing heavily]
455
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:03,551
[high-pitched ringing]
456
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,724
[mic feedback whines]
457
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:18,689
[distantly]
"Minx" is a--
458
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:23,551
oh, "Minx" will establish
the female gaze...
459
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:27,931
[feedback whines]
460
00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,413
We are at
the exciting intersection
461
00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:34,034
of feminism and erotica.
462
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,275
[normally]
Any questions?
463
00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:46,724
Okay.
464
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:49,586
I would like to introduce
Shane Brody.
465
00:18:50,103 --> 00:18:53,172
Shane was selected
out of countless applicants
466
00:18:53,275 --> 00:18:55,344
because he was the minxiest.
467
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:57,413
He is a modern man.
468
00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:59,482
He's a supporter
of our mission,
469
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:00,965
and he's also--
470
00:19:01,068 --> 00:19:03,310
A certified piece
of Grade-A man-meat.
471
00:19:03,413 --> 00:19:04,551
Ank-you-thay.
472
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,068
[laughter]
473
00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:11,275
Yeah, for Shane, tell us
what you really had to do
474
00:19:11,379 --> 00:19:12,310
to get the job.
475
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:14,068
I guess impress the boss.
476
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:16,448
[laughs nervously]
477
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:18,448
Has your mother
seen your debut?
478
00:19:18,551 --> 00:19:20,310
Ask her yourself.
She's right there.
479
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,551
Love you, Mom.
- I love you too.
480
00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:23,931
That's my boy.
481
00:19:24,482 --> 00:19:26,103
Okay.
Let's just pivot back to the--
482
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,275
- What are your turn-ons?
- Turn-offs?
483
00:19:28,379 --> 00:19:30,655
What's your sign, honey?
484
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,620
Tell us about
your ideal woman.
485
00:19:32,724 --> 00:19:34,068
Yeah.
Are you single?
486
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,758
Is there a Mrs. Man-Meat?
487
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,862
- Yeah, I do have a new lady.
- Oh, no.
488
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,724
She's smart, classy, strong.
489
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,517
She could probably lift
anyone in here.
490
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,655
It's happening.
491
00:19:49,758 --> 00:19:53,931
She's patient, proper,
a teacher,
492
00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:56,034
and she doesn't
have to dress sexy
493
00:19:56,137 --> 00:19:58,103
'cause she already is.
494
00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:01,448
Oh, my God.
Shane's in love with Joyce.
495
00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:03,448
Oh, and she knows
how to have just fun,
496
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:06,517
which is, like,
a more pure kind of fun
497
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,620
'cause you're falling in love.
498
00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,172
Oh, and when we did it
in the bathroom
499
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:12,758
at the Tony Pony, I realized--
500
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,482
That no one has asked us
a single question
501
00:20:14,586 --> 00:20:16,103
about this
very carefully-researched
502
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:17,379
and thoughtful magazine.
503
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:19,724
So does anyone have a question?
504
00:20:21,896 --> 00:20:24,068
[coughs]
505
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,620
Yeah.
506
00:20:27,724 --> 00:20:30,206
Glenn Hollingsworth,
"Lad Magazine."
507
00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:35,034
Glenn, you have a question.
508
00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:36,344
I do.
509
00:20:38,241 --> 00:20:40,275
What do you say to all
the female readers out there
510
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:41,620
who might be curious
about "Minx"
511
00:20:41,724 --> 00:20:44,103
but are also intimidated
by its content?
512
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,172
Thank you, Glenn.
That's a great question.
513
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:53,482
Uh, well--
514
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,551
Thank you so much.
515
00:20:54,655 --> 00:20:57,241
- Thanks, Joyce.
- Yeah.
516
00:20:57,344 --> 00:21:01,000
I owe you something big.
517
00:21:01,517 --> 00:21:03,379
- These can be brutal.
- Yeah.
518
00:21:03,482 --> 00:21:05,172
A little softball never hurt.
519
00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:06,758
The magazine looks great.
520
00:21:06,862 --> 00:21:09,206
It really does. Congratulations.
521
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,655
Thank you.
It means a lot.
522
00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:13,517
Maybe we can
do lunch sometime.
523
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,724
Sure. Why not?
524
00:21:14,827 --> 00:21:16,068
But not at the club.
525
00:21:16,172 --> 00:21:17,793
Yeah, no,
you're banned for life.
526
00:21:17,896 --> 00:21:19,344
They put your picture up front.
527
00:21:19,448 --> 00:21:20,862
They did?
Like--who's that guy?
528
00:21:20,965 --> 00:21:22,551
That guy that streaked
the tennis tournament?
529
00:21:22,655 --> 00:21:24,241
- Stu.
- Stu. Stu, yeah.
530
00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:25,586
- Hey.
- Oh, God.
531
00:21:25,689 --> 00:21:27,103
You trying to steal my girl?
532
00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:28,724
[laughs]
Woman.
533
00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:31,103
Liberated woman
who cannot be stolen
534
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:32,241
and is not property.
535
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:33,827
That's right.
536
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:38,758
Well, I'll call you.
537
00:21:39,413 --> 00:21:41,000
Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
538
00:21:41,965 --> 00:21:43,241
We're going
to Marie Callender's.
539
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,655
We?
540
00:21:45,068 --> 00:21:46,137
Hi.
541
00:21:46,448 --> 00:21:47,689
They want to meet you.
542
00:21:47,793 --> 00:21:50,551
Get to know you like I do,
but not have sex.
543
00:21:50,655 --> 00:21:51,724
Okay.
No, stop.
544
00:21:51,827 --> 00:21:54,000
All right, I think we need to--
545
00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:56,034
there's been
a misunderstanding here, okay?
546
00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:59,551
'Cause this isn't real.
We're not a couple.
547
00:21:59,655 --> 00:22:01,344
It's not appropriate for me
548
00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:03,862
to meet your very
enthusiastic parents, okay?
549
00:22:03,965 --> 00:22:07,310
It was just sex.
It was just casual sex.
550
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:10,344
That's what "just fun" means.
551
00:22:10,448 --> 00:22:13,275
So you used me.
552
00:22:14,137 --> 00:22:15,896
I thought we were using
each other,
553
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,413
in a good way, for pleasure.
554
00:22:17,517 --> 00:22:19,793
Don't tell me
what I was doing.
555
00:22:19,896 --> 00:22:23,310
You say everyone deserves
their own voice, right?
556
00:22:23,413 --> 00:22:25,137
Or am I just some
pretty little thing to you?
557
00:22:25,241 --> 00:22:27,103
Okay. All right. Okay.
I see what you're doing.
558
00:22:27,206 --> 00:22:30,551
But that--no, that's not this,
because you're just someone
559
00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:33,827
who technically works for me
560
00:22:33,931 --> 00:22:36,482
who I then had sex with.
561
00:22:37,551 --> 00:22:39,137
- I trusted you.
- Shane.
562
00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:42,068
I gave you my penis,
and I want it back.
563
00:22:42,172 --> 00:22:43,310
Hmm?
564
00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:45,482
I don't want to be
in your magazine anymore.
565
00:22:54,344 --> 00:22:57,241
[clapping
[chuckles]
566
00:22:57,344 --> 00:22:58,655
Madam editor.
567
00:22:58,758 --> 00:23:02,413
It was a little shaky at first,
and then boom.
568
00:23:02,517 --> 00:23:04,482
Save it.
Shane's pulled out.
569
00:23:04,586 --> 00:23:06,068
I broke
his simple little heart.
570
00:23:06,172 --> 00:23:08,103
Well, I'm sorry,
but he signed the contract,
571
00:23:08,206 --> 00:23:10,758
which means we own the photos,
so we're publishing them,
572
00:23:10,862 --> 00:23:12,586
and there's nothing
that he can do about it.
573
00:23:12,689 --> 00:23:14,103
Though what did I say?
574
00:23:14,206 --> 00:23:16,137
Oh, God, you love
a Pyrrhic victory.
575
00:23:16,241 --> 00:23:18,275
I don't know what that means,
so it doesn't hurt my feelings.
576
00:23:18,379 --> 00:23:21,413
Doug, we cannot publish
naked photos of Shane
577
00:23:21,517 --> 00:23:22,793
without his permission.
578
00:23:22,896 --> 00:23:24,724
I mean, yeah, fine,
we're legally allowed to,
579
00:23:24,827 --> 00:23:27,034
but what kind of message
does that send?
580
00:23:27,137 --> 00:23:28,896
It would send the message
that we're good at business.
581
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,379
Look, this is hardly
the first time
582
00:23:30,482 --> 00:23:31,827
a model has gotten cold feet.
583
00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:33,172
Yeah, but we have
to be better than that.
584
00:23:33,275 --> 00:23:34,758
We have to.
In fact, I insist
585
00:23:34,862 --> 00:23:36,689
on holding us
to a higher standard.
586
00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,793
Listen to you.
"A higher standard."
587
00:23:38,896 --> 00:23:41,586
Because you couldn't keep
your vag in your pants.
588
00:23:41,689 --> 00:23:43,137
Do you always have to be
so crass?
589
00:23:43,241 --> 00:23:45,379
All right, Joyce, I'm gonna
give it to you straight.
590
00:23:45,482 --> 00:23:47,413
The magazine is printed.
591
00:23:47,517 --> 00:23:49,206
And I spent more on this rag
592
00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:51,931
than anything
that I have ever done.
593
00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:55,931
I upped our print run
to 500,000
594
00:23:56,034 --> 00:24:00,241
at the last minute
against the advice of everyone.
595
00:24:02,586 --> 00:24:05,103
If I were to pull this issue,
596
00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:08,000
we'd be done.
597
00:24:09,034 --> 00:24:11,724
And I would be in a hole
598
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:14,517
so goddamn deep
599
00:24:15,275 --> 00:24:18,551
that it would take me years
to climb out of.
600
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,862
So...
601
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:26,379
get okay with this or fix it.
602
00:24:32,413 --> 00:24:33,551
[door slams]
603
00:24:34,965 --> 00:24:38,206
[upbeat music]
604
00:24:38,206 --> 00:24:44,620
♪ ♪
605
00:24:44,724 --> 00:24:46,103
Résumés
for Gerry's replacement.
606
00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:48,448
I thought we only
fired people on Fridays.
607
00:24:48,551 --> 00:24:50,448
You've never fired anyone.
608
00:24:52,689 --> 00:24:54,275
All right.
609
00:24:54,275 --> 00:25:01,310
♪ ♪
610
00:25:07,586 --> 00:25:08,931
This is insane.
611
00:25:09,034 --> 00:25:10,586
Can I talk to you?
612
00:25:17,068 --> 00:25:18,620
I took the money.
613
00:25:20,689 --> 00:25:22,034
But you already knew that.
614
00:25:22,137 --> 00:25:24,206
A bunch of transfers
between off-cycle titles
615
00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:27,034
at the same time as a surprise
invoice from the printer?
616
00:25:27,137 --> 00:25:29,137
That shit may fool Gerry--
- I knew you wouldn't approve.
617
00:25:29,241 --> 00:25:31,068
Your pet project
is bleeding us dry,
618
00:25:31,172 --> 00:25:33,172
and now you're stealing from
yourself to hide it from me?
619
00:25:33,275 --> 00:25:35,137
Okay, maybe I just didn't
want you looking at me
620
00:25:35,241 --> 00:25:37,896
the way you are
looking at me right now.
621
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,965
I changed the plan, Tina.
622
00:25:40,068 --> 00:25:42,241
I am sorry.
- That's a start.
623
00:25:42,344 --> 00:25:45,034
We both know what you mean
to this place.
624
00:25:45,137 --> 00:25:47,379
You are the other half
of Bottom Dollar.
625
00:25:47,482 --> 00:25:50,620
I just--I need you
to trust me on this one.
626
00:25:50,724 --> 00:25:52,275
Push down those business smarts
627
00:25:52,379 --> 00:25:56,586
that I fucking love about you
and trust me.
628
00:25:58,689 --> 00:25:59,931
You know how hard it is
629
00:26:00,034 --> 00:26:02,896
to see a burning building
and not yell fire?
630
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,344
Well, maybe it's not on fire.
631
00:26:05,862 --> 00:26:08,310
Maybe it's just hot
and uncomfortable.
632
00:26:14,482 --> 00:26:16,344
Is this where you come
to think?
633
00:26:19,793 --> 00:26:23,000
No, this is my job.
634
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:26,517
What are you doing here?
635
00:26:27,034 --> 00:26:28,103
I wanted to talk to you.
636
00:26:28,206 --> 00:26:29,586
Better make it fast,
637
00:26:29,689 --> 00:26:32,000
'cause if there's a fire,
I'm gonna have to go.
638
00:26:34,689 --> 00:26:37,689
I think "Minx" is
639
00:26:37,793 --> 00:26:40,034
a tremendous opportunity
for you.
640
00:26:40,137 --> 00:26:42,517
And I know
that we haven't talked much
641
00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:44,413
about your hopes and dreams,
642
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:47,551
but modeling can open
a lot of doors.
643
00:26:50,758 --> 00:26:52,000
More modeling.
644
00:26:52,965 --> 00:26:54,172
Acting.
645
00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:56,724
You could be a star.
646
00:26:57,517 --> 00:26:58,896
I don't want to be a star.
647
00:26:59,482 --> 00:27:02,655
I wanted 400 bucks and to show
my dick to the world.
648
00:27:02,758 --> 00:27:04,655
All right, well, I was hoping
it wouldn't come to this,
649
00:27:04,758 --> 00:27:05,965
but you signed a contract,
650
00:27:06,068 --> 00:27:07,448
and Bottom Dollar owns
your photos,
651
00:27:07,551 --> 00:27:10,482
so there's nothing either one
of us can do about it.
652
00:27:10,586 --> 00:27:11,448
Wow.
653
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:14,275
So after all that
feminist stuff,
654
00:27:14,379 --> 00:27:16,586
it just comes down
to a piece of paper?
655
00:27:16,689 --> 00:27:18,344
Yes, Shane.
656
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,413
This is business.
657
00:27:21,344 --> 00:27:25,793
And I am here on business
and business only.
658
00:27:25,896 --> 00:27:27,310
Um...
659
00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:32,000
God, you're the fourth guy
that I have ever slept with.
660
00:27:32,103 --> 00:27:33,655
And the only one
who wasn't my boyfriend
661
00:27:33,758 --> 00:27:36,000
and by far the best,
662
00:27:36,103 --> 00:27:38,827
but that has more to do
with my relationship
663
00:27:38,931 --> 00:27:39,931
to my own body, I think,
664
00:27:40,034 --> 00:27:41,827
but still, it was--
665
00:27:48,862 --> 00:27:50,068
You were more into me
666
00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:52,448
than I was into you,
and I knew that.
667
00:27:53,482 --> 00:27:55,413
I should have been
more careful.
668
00:27:56,862 --> 00:27:58,206
I just wanted
to feel good again,
669
00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:01,034
so I pushed away all reason,
670
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:04,344
and that was really selfish.
671
00:28:05,689 --> 00:28:06,896
So irresponsible.
672
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,655
You could have said hi
to my parents.
673
00:28:08,758 --> 00:28:10,793
Yes, I should have.
674
00:28:16,172 --> 00:28:17,862
If you don't want to be
in "Minx,"
675
00:28:17,965 --> 00:28:20,206
then I will figure out
676
00:28:20,310 --> 00:28:23,586
a way of killing the issue,
no matter the consequences.
677
00:28:25,758 --> 00:28:27,517
You deserve to have a voice.
678
00:28:40,965 --> 00:28:43,517
♪ I don't care
what they say ♪
679
00:28:43,620 --> 00:28:45,310
Nice work.
680
00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:47,310
And you got some
in the process.
681
00:28:50,310 --> 00:28:52,655
Let me know if you need help.
682
00:28:52,758 --> 00:28:54,413
Thank you, Tina.
683
00:28:54,413 --> 00:28:56,344
♪ Can't you see
I live for your touch? ♪
684
00:28:56,344 --> 00:28:59,172
♪ Because I believe in you ♪
685
00:28:59,172 --> 00:29:02,068
♪ What else can I say? ♪
686
00:29:02,068 --> 00:29:05,620
♪ I believe in you, girl ♪
687
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:09,172
♪ If I'm trying to be,
go on your way ♪
688
00:29:09,275 --> 00:29:11,344
- 22 inches.
- Brown trout?
689
00:29:11,448 --> 00:29:12,758
- Rainbow.
- Shut up.
690
00:29:12,862 --> 00:29:14,172
[laughter]
691
00:29:14,275 --> 00:29:17,620
Well, if it isn't Mr. August.
692
00:29:17,724 --> 00:29:20,689
More like Mrs. August.
[laughter]
693
00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:22,068
His dick's so fancy,
694
00:29:22,172 --> 00:29:23,655
it probably can't even get
wet anymore.
695
00:29:23,758 --> 00:29:25,758
[laughter]
696
00:29:25,862 --> 00:29:27,310
You guys can all laugh,
697
00:29:27,413 --> 00:29:29,551
but I'm the one
that feels bad for you.
698
00:29:31,655 --> 00:29:33,206
You're victims,
699
00:29:33,310 --> 00:29:36,689
victims of something
called the patri-archie.
700
00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:41,241
[scoffs]
Someday, you'll understand.
701
00:29:41,241 --> 00:29:42,931
♪ You and I ♪
702
00:29:42,931 --> 00:29:46,413
♪ Travel to the beat
of a different drum ♪
703
00:29:46,413 --> 00:29:50,620
♪ Ah, can't you tell
by the way I run ♪
704
00:29:50,620 --> 00:29:54,758
♪ Every time
you make eyes at me ♪
705
00:29:54,758 --> 00:29:56,827
♪ Whoa ♪
706
00:29:56,827 --> 00:29:59,172
♪ You cry and moan ♪
707
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:02,379
♪ And say it will work out ♪
708
00:30:02,379 --> 00:30:06,275
♪ But honey child,
I've got my doubts ♪
709
00:30:06,275 --> 00:30:11,965
♪ You can't see the forest
for the trees ♪
710
00:30:11,965 --> 00:30:14,103
♪ So don't get me wrong ♪
711
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:16,137
♪ It's not that I knock it ♪
712
00:30:16,137 --> 00:30:18,172
♪ It's just that I ♪
713
00:30:18,172 --> 00:30:19,793
♪ I'm not in the market ♪
714
00:30:19,793 --> 00:30:23,689
♪ For a boy who wants
to love ♪
715
00:30:23,689 --> 00:30:27,172
♪ Only me ♪
716
00:30:27,172 --> 00:30:30,068
♪ Yes, and I ain't saying ♪
717
00:30:30,068 --> 00:30:31,758
♪ You ain't pretty ♪
718
00:30:31,758 --> 00:30:35,620
♪ All I'm saying's
I'm not ready ♪
719
00:30:35,620 --> 00:30:39,655
♪ For any person,
place, or thing ♪
720
00:30:39,655 --> 00:30:43,000
♪ To try and pull the reins ♪
721
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,689
♪ In on me ♪
722
00:30:45,689 --> 00:30:49,482
♪ So goodbye ♪
723
00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:51,448
♪ I'll be leaving ♪
724
00:30:51,448 --> 00:30:53,551
♪ I see no sense ♪
725
00:30:53,551 --> 00:30:55,241
♪ In this crying
and grieving ♪
726
00:30:55,241 --> 00:30:57,586
♪ We'll both live
a lot longer ♪
727
00:30:57,586 --> 00:31:02,034
♪ If you live without me ♪
728
00:31:02,034 --> 00:31:09,000
♪ ♪
729
00:31:10,724 --> 00:31:13,206
♪ Oh, don't get me wrong ♪
730
00:31:13,206 --> 00:31:15,000
♪ It's not that I knock it ♪
731
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,413
♪ It's just that I ♪
48879
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