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1
00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:10,206
I'm sorry I was late,
Miss Melons.
2
00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:12,931
I promise
it'll never happen again.
3
00:00:14,413 --> 00:00:15,620
I'm sorry,
can we take a short break?
4
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,137
I just have a tiny question.
5
00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:18,379
Okay. Make it quick, Bambi.
6
00:00:18,379 --> 00:00:20,034
Blackboard's a rental.
- Right.
7
00:00:20,034 --> 00:00:22,724
Just wondering, should I really
be punishing her?
8
00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:25,379
Uh, yeah. That's kind of
the premise of the magazine.
9
00:00:25,379 --> 00:00:26,862
No, I get that.
10
00:00:26,862 --> 00:00:29,896
It's just that maybe she
was tardy for a reason.
11
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:32,793
Did anyone ask her?
Maybe there's trouble at home.
12
00:00:32,793 --> 00:00:34,586
Sexy trouble.
13
00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:39,310
These are the naughty
schoolgirls of Bad Girl High.
14
00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:40,896
They do bad stuff.
- Mm-hmm.
15
00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:43,793
You spank their bottoms.
That's the whole story.
16
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,931
Typically, yes.
17
00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:47,655
Uh, but maybe not
in this instance.
18
00:00:47,655 --> 00:00:50,034
Okay? Staci, please rise.
19
00:00:51,586 --> 00:00:53,793
Hey, you can tell me.
20
00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:56,103
Was there a reason that you
were late this morning?
21
00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:57,896
Uh...
22
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:01,310
Um...
23
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,655
my dad was working late.
24
00:01:03,655 --> 00:01:06,000
Right. 'Cause he's a cop
25
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,310
and he works the graveyard
shift with his partner, Rico.
26
00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:11,586
Yeah.
Yeah, and there was a shootout.
27
00:01:11,586 --> 00:01:13,275
And Rico didn't make it,
28
00:01:13,275 --> 00:01:14,827
so you were comforting
your dad.
29
00:01:14,827 --> 00:01:17,862
Well, since Mom died,
I'm all he's got.
30
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:20,206
And for this
she is getting spanked?
31
00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:21,793
We should be supporting her,
32
00:01:21,793 --> 00:01:24,517
not punishing her
for her kindness.
33
00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:26,689
Times they are a-changing,
Phil.
34
00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:29,206
Staci needs to be
getting her degree
35
00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:32,137
so she can bring this
compassion to the workforce.
36
00:01:32,137 --> 00:01:34,137
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about,
37
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,724
but this is the energy we need.
38
00:01:35,724 --> 00:01:37,310
I'm trying to make
an important point here, Phil.
39
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:39,310
This isn't "Minx."
We don't do points.
40
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:40,344
Stacy, bend over.
41
00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:42,758
And, uh, lick the apple.
42
00:01:42,758 --> 00:01:44,896
[The Rhino's
"Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'"]
43
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,241
♪ ♪
44
00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:48,551
♪ Gimme, gimme good lovin' ♪
45
00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:50,620
♪ Every night ♪
46
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,172
You know it's all right now.
child.
47
00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,482
- Hey, Terri.
- Hi.
48
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,827
- Ooh, lookin' good, Joel.
- Ah, thanks, Joyce.
49
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,000
Great.
50
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,241
Oh, Alisdair.
He got his fur washed.
51
00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:05,655
Hey.
Carnal Coeds back in session,
52
00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:07,586
are they?
- I wish.
53
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,689
I'm somehow on the tenure track
at Bad Girl High.
54
00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,896
Speaking of,
if there's any way
55
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:13,586
I can be more involved
at "Minx"...
56
00:02:13,586 --> 00:02:15,000
What happened to
centerfold coordination?
57
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,586
Well, turns out that's
a two-day-a-month job,
58
00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:18,068
but I have
30 days of inspiration.
59
00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:19,827
Well yeah, sure.
What do you have in mind?
60
00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:23,827
Um, I could always do the, um...
61
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,965
Or, um, you know the, uh...
62
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:29,758
You know what?
You just have a think
63
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,241
and you let me know.
- Okay.
64
00:02:31,241 --> 00:02:32,827
- Okay?
- Bonjour, ma belle.
65
00:02:32,827 --> 00:02:33,827
Bonjour.
66
00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:35,310
Guess what you
get to approve?
67
00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,000
Oh, my God, really?
Already?
68
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,137
How do they look?
- Oh, decent.
69
00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:41,620
I think maybe next time
I'd go two stops darker.
70
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:42,931
But, uh, you tell me.
71
00:02:42,931 --> 00:02:44,724
Oh, they're even better
than I imagined.
72
00:02:44,724 --> 00:02:46,241
Oh, thank God
you think so too!
73
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:48,413
I love that we're saying
something, you know?
74
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:50,413
You see the pain in his eyes?
75
00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:52,586
It's like he's internalizing
the harassment
76
00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:54,310
endured by generations
of women.
77
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:55,620
That's actually the moment
78
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:57,310
he found out
what we're paying him.
79
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,655
- Oh, well--
- Hey, kid.
80
00:02:58,655 --> 00:02:59,965
- Yeah?
- You ready to go?
81
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:02,137
Yes.
Been ready my whole life.
82
00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:04,413
Just selling ad space
for my magazine.
83
00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:05,724
- He's taking you with him?
- Yup.
84
00:03:05,724 --> 00:03:06,896
Culmination
of a childhood dream.
85
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,241
No big deal.
86
00:03:08,241 --> 00:03:09,586
It is a big deal.
87
00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:11,034
- I'm here if you need me.
- Great.
88
00:03:11,034 --> 00:03:12,068
Right on!
89
00:03:13,724 --> 00:03:15,931
I'm not recognizing
a lot of these buyers.
90
00:03:15,931 --> 00:03:17,758
What happened to
the mission-driven nonprofits
91
00:03:17,758 --> 00:03:19,551
I mentioned?
- Oh, we need companies
92
00:03:19,551 --> 00:03:21,517
who can actually
give us money.
93
00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:23,551
That's kind of how we finance
this operation
94
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:25,724
unless you wanna sell "Minx"
for 49.99.
95
00:03:25,724 --> 00:03:28,000
- I would pay that.
- Oh, cool. Well, that's one.
96
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,793
Oh, can we add the
Feminist Federal Credit Union?
97
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,103
Joycie, my ad guys
did their homework.
98
00:03:32,103 --> 00:03:34,068
These are all huge gets.
99
00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:37,172
We'll be lucky if any
of these people want in, okay?
100
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:38,482
Don't be nervous.
101
00:03:38,482 --> 00:03:40,655
Just be your classy
Harvard self.
102
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,862
- Vassar.
- Whatever.
103
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:46,965
Women's liberation.
What does it mean?
104
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,103
Well, I'll tell you
what it means to me.
105
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:53,586
It means liberating women
from the $400 million
106
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:57,068
in disposable income
they spend every year.
107
00:03:57,068 --> 00:04:00,724
Our format melds the precepts
of female emancipation
108
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:03,758
with mature but thematically
appropriate content.
109
00:04:03,758 --> 00:04:07,413
We think of ourselves
as creating the female gaze.
110
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:11,172
Women are sexual,
but it starts with the brain.
111
00:04:11,172 --> 00:04:17,379
You see, one issue of "Cosmo"
sold over 3 million copies
112
00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:19,758
in one month.
113
00:04:19,758 --> 00:04:21,827
Why? 'Cause that good old
Burt Reynolds
114
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:24,931
showed his hairy thighs.
115
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,620
Not your cup of tea,
maybe not mine.
116
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,068
Who cares?
117
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,517
[voice fades, echoes]
'Cause we're talking
118
00:04:29,517 --> 00:04:31,000
about money--a lot of money.
119
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,137
And I'm guessing that's what--
120
00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:36,344
So much flavor
in one little box.
121
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,655
[tense chords]
122
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:39,068
Wolfhagen.
123
00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:42,517
Three beers takes me
from bow to wow!
124
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:44,793
[laughing]
125
00:04:44,793 --> 00:04:48,000
[Doug continues in background]
126
00:04:49,068 --> 00:04:50,517
Yum-derwear.
127
00:04:50,517 --> 00:04:54,000
A candy coating
for that juicy center.
128
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,896
I'm telling you,
Minx is gonna give it to 'em
129
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,000
and we're gonna
give it to 'em good.
130
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,896
[elevator bell dings]
Maybe two, but Pleasure Garden?
131
00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:01,793
I mean, they're huge
and they never had a way
132
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:03,724
to market directly to women.
Now they do.
133
00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:07,551
So 10, 15 ads--
that alone pays for our book.
134
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:10,137
Kid,
we're gonna wet the panties
135
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,965
of every chick in America.
- [groans]
136
00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:17,655
Hey, where're you going?
The car is that way.
137
00:05:17,655 --> 00:05:21,137
What's the problem, Joyce?
That went great.
138
00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:23,448
The ads were an affront
to all womenkind.
139
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:27,137
And those products--
ball gags and French ticklers?
140
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,310
What's the pr--
do you hate sex?
141
00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,586
No. No! It's--no.
142
00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,793
I--it's just--it's--it's--
143
00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:35,827
No. It's supposed to be
private is all.
144
00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:38,310
And it's just people like me,
we don't discuss...
145
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,758
vaginal lubricant.
146
00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:41,172
Don't be such a snob.
147
00:05:41,172 --> 00:05:43,931
The world does not begin
and end in Pasadena.
148
00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:45,586
Yeah.
Our magazine might, though.
149
00:05:45,586 --> 00:05:46,896
Okay.
150
00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:48,827
If want a certain kind
of reader,
151
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:52,034
we have to advertise
upscale products.
152
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:54,931
Okay? We gotta lure them in
with pantyhose
153
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:57,103
and perfume--things that
make them feel safe.
154
00:05:57,103 --> 00:06:00,172
You think I never tried
to get Cadillacs and caviar?
155
00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,655
Classy companies
have never put their ad
156
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,310
across from a pair of titties.
157
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,448
And they're certainly not going
anywhere near a dong.
158
00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:09,103
Yeah, no. Obviously not when
you talk about it like that.
159
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,000
Maybe it's better
if I just speak with
160
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,275
the high-end buyers directly.
161
00:06:14,275 --> 00:06:16,344
What?
162
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:17,896
What does she think
she's gonna do?
163
00:06:17,896 --> 00:06:20,517
Just cold call
a shampoo company?
164
00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:22,000
- Doug.
- I mean, I only
165
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,793
brought her along so that
these guys would know
166
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:25,551
that I was legit.
167
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,620
Tin, she's like the, um...
168
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,724
she's like the hood ornament, right?
169
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:32,034
But me, I'm the whole car.
170
00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:33,620
- You done?
- No, I'm never done.
171
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,517
You know that. But go ahead.
172
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:38,137
It pains me to say this,
173
00:06:38,137 --> 00:06:40,103
but they kind of liked
the hood ornament.
174
00:06:40,103 --> 00:06:42,241
Pleasure Garden called.
They want in.
175
00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,241
- No kidding?
- But their in-house guys
176
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:45,896
don't know how to do
an ad for ladies,
177
00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,689
so they want us
to spec it for them.
178
00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:49,896
[chuckles]
Joyce is gonna love this.
179
00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:52,482
You jokers hit the jackpot
on this one.
180
00:06:52,482 --> 00:06:55,034
This ad is gonna write itself.
181
00:06:55,034 --> 00:06:57,241
All hail Lucifer's Horn.
182
00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:59,034
What's the deal
with the double ends?
183
00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:00,965
Those "Minx" chicks got
two fox holes or something?
184
00:07:00,965 --> 00:07:02,413
It's for lesbians, Perry.
185
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:04,586
You know, the only women
not attracted to you.
186
00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:05,827
Give me five minutes
with 'em.
187
00:07:05,827 --> 00:07:08,206
Five minutes
seems about right.
188
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:11,965
There have to be better
advertisers than that.
189
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,655
Do you get
who your audience is?
190
00:07:13,655 --> 00:07:17,034
I mean, "Minx" is for sexually
liberated chicks, okay?
191
00:07:17,034 --> 00:07:20,275
Yes, but our penis is for
political purposes, okay?
192
00:07:20,275 --> 00:07:21,758
It's about shifting
power dynamics
193
00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,068
and gender reparations.
194
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,551
Kid,
I hate to break it to you,
195
00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:26,655
but you can't control
what readers are gonna do
196
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,862
with that fireman's schlong.
197
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,758
Some might even jerk off to it.
198
00:07:29,758 --> 00:07:30,931
I don't have to help them
do that.
199
00:07:30,931 --> 00:07:33,103
And no one's asking you to.
200
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:34,724
I got my best ad guys on it.
201
00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:37,931
[rock and roll music
in background]
202
00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:39,310
Oh, my God.
203
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,517
I could have done
anything with my life.
204
00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:42,965
I did quite well on the GRE.
205
00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:46,241
[smooth instrumental music]
206
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:53,172
♪ ♪
207
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:54,586
[sighs]
208
00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:03,379
[bright band music]
209
00:08:03,379 --> 00:08:07,310
♪ ♪
210
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,551
Oh, my God.
It's as big as his thigh!
211
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:12,965
Oh, Pedro, more tea please.
212
00:08:12,965 --> 00:08:14,862
Thank you so much.
This is so cool.
213
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,482
I feel like
a secret agent.
214
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:19,310
Yeah, well, it might stay
a secret forever.
215
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:21,310
Doug's ads, I'm telling you,
they could kill "Minx"
216
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,896
before it even
gets off the ground.
217
00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:24,551
I think you're overreacting.
Thank you.
218
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:27,103
Oh, really? You do?
Okay, so would be comfortable
219
00:08:27,103 --> 00:08:29,068
getting your nails done,
reading a magazine
220
00:08:29,068 --> 00:08:31,379
full of double dongs.
- Double--doubles?
221
00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:33,448
Doubles, did you say?
- The Prigger sisters.
222
00:08:33,448 --> 00:08:35,379
- [laughs] Hi, Mr. Ross.
- Hello, Mr. Ross.
223
00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:37,275
Oh, bacon.
224
00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:40,724
Your generation of ladies--
not afraid to eat.
225
00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:42,344
- Oh.
- It does keep one alive.
226
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:45,586
My wife, she swears by half
a grapefruit each morning
227
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:47,931
and then on Wednesday,
she adds cottage cheese.
228
00:08:47,931 --> 00:08:50,103
Well, I've seen Bitsy
on the courts,
229
00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:51,896
and she's looking
incredibly trim.
230
00:08:51,896 --> 00:08:54,137
Yeah. If only she had
Joyce's forehand.
231
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:56,586
Oh, ha ha, well, she more
than makes up for it
232
00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:58,310
with that nasty backhand
of hers.
233
00:08:58,310 --> 00:08:59,620
Oh, pancakes.
234
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:03,689
[laughs] I see someone
is treating themselves.
235
00:09:03,689 --> 00:09:06,103
How dare they!
[both laugh]
236
00:09:06,103 --> 00:09:07,793
"On Thursdays I permit Bitsy
237
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:09,655
to loosen her girdle
by one notch."
238
00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:11,206
Oh, she sniffs
two blueberries
239
00:09:11,206 --> 00:09:13,379
and then downs a fistful
of Dexedrine.
240
00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:15,068
[laughs]
- How does that fossil
241
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:16,551
stay in power?
242
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,241
Mr. Ross has been president
here for, what,
243
00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:19,827
like, 30 years?
- Yeah.
244
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,103
He's the richest.
245
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,862
And all these men
love to suck up.
246
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,827
You know it's not just tea
parties and tennis here, Joyce.
247
00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:28,620
This is a place of business.
248
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,724
I bet there are people here
who could teach me
249
00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:32,241
a thing or two
about advertising.
250
00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:34,896
You know, like, give me
the tools that I need
251
00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:36,758
to convince Doug
to let me do it my way.
252
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:39,172
Well, yeah, I mean, there's
more CEOs on the golf course
253
00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:42,758
right now than this Doug fella
has met in his entire life.
254
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:45,310
[lively music]
255
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:47,379
Mr. Irving.
Oh, I was so sorry
256
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,068
to hear about the tournament.
257
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:51,758
What happened to your niece,
it was a travesty.
258
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,965
She doesn't hold a candle
to you on the courts.
259
00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:56,241
- Oh.
- You were like a gazelle.
260
00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:59,413
That is very sweet.
Um, while I have you--
261
00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:01,482
I'm in a new entrepreneurial venture,
262
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:03,034
and I'd love to pick
your brain.
263
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,689
How do you make ad buys?
264
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,931
Is that agency based or
is that business to business?
265
00:10:06,931 --> 00:10:08,862
[yawns] I came here to relax,
Miss Prigger,
266
00:10:08,862 --> 00:10:10,862
not educate impudent
young ladies.
267
00:10:10,862 --> 00:10:12,275
Uh-huh.
268
00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:14,137
What do you look for
in advertising partners?
269
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:17,206
Just a vague description
would suffice.
270
00:10:17,206 --> 00:10:19,034
It's a magazine with a penis.
271
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:20,793
That sounds very nice.
272
00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:23,965
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you so much.
273
00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:27,586
- I like looking at pictures.
- Do you?
274
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:30,482
"While he's serving
his country,
275
00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:32,862
she's serving herself."
276
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:35,068
Vietnam? I don't know, guys.
277
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,068
Maybe we leave politics
out of it.
278
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:38,482
Well, it's a cool gun
though, isn't it?
279
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,413
Yeah. And she has
a weapon of her own.
280
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:41,724
See the symmetry?
281
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,068
No, I got it.
What's next, guys?
282
00:10:45,482 --> 00:10:48,103
"No one will know your
dirty little secret."
283
00:10:48,103 --> 00:10:50,034
[inhales sharply]
Kinda shamey, right?
284
00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:51,862
I mean, we want them to buy it.
285
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:54,379
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay. Uh...
286
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:57,310
"When you don't have a ring,
it's the next best thing."
287
00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:58,827
Okay, that's just mean.
288
00:10:58,827 --> 00:11:00,241
Doesn't make it not true, though.
289
00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,103
Guys, we don't wanna bully
these women.
290
00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:03,517
We wanna get them off.
291
00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:05,379
Okay.
We did have this one other one.
292
00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:07,068
It might be a little closer
to what you're looking for.
293
00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:08,275
- Let's see it.
- We were thinking
294
00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:11,448
women love strength, right? Mm?
295
00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:14,551
"Trust the machine."
296
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,551
All right. Thanks, guys. Great.
297
00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:19,965
Well, that was a bust.
298
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:21,275
All they're willing to
talk to me about
299
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:23,000
is my figure
and my tennis game.
300
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,758
Oh, your forehand
was a marvel.
301
00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:27,103
But I guess they call it
a boys' club for a reason.
302
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,551
Oh, my God. What now?
303
00:11:28,551 --> 00:11:30,896
- Uh, Miss Prigger, um...
- Yeah, hi.
304
00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:33,793
Little bird told me that
you've been conducting business
305
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,206
on club grounds.
306
00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:36,482
Yeah, I was trying to, anyway.
307
00:11:36,482 --> 00:11:38,275
You boys
make it look so easy.
308
00:11:38,275 --> 00:11:40,482
Then I became aware that you
are marketing explicit
309
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:43,206
and scandalous content
to young women?
310
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:46,689
I wouldn't call women's
liberation scandalous.
311
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,586
Well, you always were
312
00:11:48,586 --> 00:11:51,655
the club rabble-rouser,
weren't you?
313
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,793
I don't wanna be mean, Doug,
314
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:56,241
but these make me hate myself,
315
00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:57,827
and I love myself.
316
00:11:57,827 --> 00:11:59,137
These make me hate men.
317
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,620
And they kind of make me
hate you.
318
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,620
- Oh, yeah. For sure.
- Please simmer down.
319
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,172
That's why I brought you guys
in here,
320
00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,931
to get a female perspective, right?
321
00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:07,586
So I don't know. Bambi,
322
00:12:07,586 --> 00:12:09,344
what would make you
buy a vibrator?
323
00:12:09,344 --> 00:12:11,206
I don't know--I have a whole
drawer full already.
324
00:12:11,206 --> 00:12:14,586
But, I don't know, maybe if it
tickled a little deeper
325
00:12:14,586 --> 00:12:18,413
or if it went, like, a--
[makes rhythmic buzzing noise]
326
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,344
Like a syncopation thing.
327
00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,000
Or maybe if it played music.
328
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,862
Oh, also price is important.
I'm on a budget.
329
00:12:23,862 --> 00:12:25,586
These are all really great.
330
00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:28,482
Any ideas how to take that
brainstorm and put it on paper?
331
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,689
Um...
332
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,586
[sighs] No.
333
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,172
I guess I can't be a magazine
advertising person.
334
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,724
[whistle]
335
00:12:38,931 --> 00:12:41,586
Guess who harpooned a whale!
336
00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:43,896
Whoo!
337
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,689
[claps] Yeah!
338
00:12:45,689 --> 00:12:48,310
And then he said,
"I personally find nudity
339
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,137
"to be distasteful, but I
believe this venture of yours
340
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,413
will be popular
with modern women."
341
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,206
And I think he meant "modern"
like an insult,
342
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,655
but I will take what I can get.
343
00:12:56,655 --> 00:12:58,724
Beckley Cosmetics?
I never heard of them.
344
00:12:58,724 --> 00:13:01,275
It's just one of Mr. Ross'
many holdings,
345
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:02,586
a fact that you would know
346
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:04,275
if you had researched
upscale markets.
347
00:13:04,275 --> 00:13:06,310
Beckley's market
is the old folks' home.
348
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:09,172
No one under 80 wears it.
- And they test on bunnies.
349
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:11,586
Oh, my God.
Enough with the bunnies, okay?
350
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:14,034
All they do is shit and fuck.
- So do we.
351
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:15,655
How many ads
is this guy buying?
352
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:17,827
We will know after our pitch
at the club tomorrow,
353
00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:21,413
5:00 on the dot
during the Summer Soirée.
354
00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:25,000
Great.
Well, let me know how it goes.
355
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,413
Uh, y--well, actually,
356
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,827
I--I suggested to Mr. Ross
357
00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:30,517
that he sit with you as well.
358
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:32,172
Just out of respect, you know,
359
00:13:32,172 --> 00:13:33,655
so that we both have a voice
in the process.
360
00:13:33,655 --> 00:13:36,344
He wants to meet
your male publisher.
361
00:13:36,344 --> 00:13:38,413
All right, fine.
There is a patriarchal mindset
362
00:13:38,413 --> 00:13:39,896
amongst the establishment.
363
00:13:39,896 --> 00:13:42,241
But that is exactly
why we need "Minx," okay?
364
00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:44,344
It's to dismantle these systems
of oppression.
365
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,000
One lipstick ad at a time.
366
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,551
I wanna go on record
and say that this bullshit.
367
00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:51,310
It's a rich-girl-favor meeting
368
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,448
and I will come
and I will give it my best,
369
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,137
but if this doesn't work,
370
00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:56,965
you're all in on
the Pleasure Garden.
371
00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,275
Your skepticism is my fuel.
372
00:13:59,275 --> 00:14:00,931
- Ooh, we're shaking.
- Mm-hmm.
373
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:03,275
Saddle up, partners, we're
going to the "cunty" club.
374
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,586
- Um...
- Well, if you're gonna
375
00:14:04,586 --> 00:14:06,172
drag me to some lame party,
376
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:07,655
I'm bringing people
who can hang.
377
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:10,344
Well, it's just they won't
have fun there.
378
00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:11,655
Clubs are a gas.
379
00:14:11,655 --> 00:14:13,172
JP Getty and I
used to make love
380
00:14:13,172 --> 00:14:14,689
on the golf course
at Maidstone.
381
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:16,862
Mm. And I love mingling
with the colonizers.
382
00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:19,137
Tins, you do love a raw bar.
383
00:14:19,137 --> 00:14:21,482
Not as much as I love
an open bar.
384
00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:23,551
Oh. [chuckles] Wow.
385
00:14:23,551 --> 00:14:25,379
The more the merrier, then.
386
00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:28,137
Looks like the hood
ornament's driving the car now.
387
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:31,206
[Lord Kitchener's "The Road"]
388
00:14:31,206 --> 00:14:35,689
♪ ♪
389
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,172
♪ I had whole day plannin' ♪
390
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:40,620
♪ All kind of I'm comin' ♪
391
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,344
♪ I had whole day plannin' ♪
392
00:14:43,344 --> 00:14:45,620
♪ All kind of I'm comin' ♪
393
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:48,482
♪ They said
there will be people ♪
394
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:50,206
♪ And they don't care
'bout trouble ♪
395
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,206
♪ But tell them
don't worry with me ♪
396
00:14:52,206 --> 00:14:54,931
♪ Is a different thing,
1963 ♪
397
00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:56,068
♪ Because the road... ♪
398
00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:57,862
Joyce.
399
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:04,724
- Hello, Glenn.
- I, uh--
400
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:06,586
I-I didn't think you'd be here.
401
00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,655
Uh, well, I do still belong, so...
402
00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:10,413
Right. Um...
403
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:12,931
Glenneth,
where'd you put my wrap?
404
00:15:12,931 --> 00:15:15,655
Joyce, this is--
this is my friend, Kitty.
405
00:15:15,655 --> 00:15:17,275
Kitty Lawson.
406
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:19,137
Oh, my God, of course. Yeah.
I used to--
407
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:20,379
I used to babysit you.
408
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:21,965
When I was eight.
409
00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:23,862
You pierced my ears with
an ice cube and a potato.
410
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:26,965
That's right.
I did do that for you.
411
00:15:26,965 --> 00:15:28,896
- The holes stretched.
- Oh.
412
00:15:28,896 --> 00:15:30,827
My lobes are so delicate.
413
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:33,206
They might as well
be made of gossamer.
414
00:15:33,206 --> 00:15:35,758
Emma!
- How are you?
415
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:37,862
We missed you
at the croquet party.
416
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,517
[sighs] Sorry.
417
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:41,000
I-I hope this isn't
too awkward for you.
418
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,310
No. No.
419
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,655
No, it's not awkward
for me at all.
420
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,482
No, um--she needed a new sitter
421
00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:48,586
when I went off to college
anyway, so...
422
00:15:48,586 --> 00:15:50,310
You take care, okay?
Nice to see you.
423
00:15:53,206 --> 00:15:55,034
I asked for a Grasshopper.
424
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:56,517
Did you?
425
00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:58,310
Oh, sorry, Kendra.
It's taken.
426
00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:00,793
This one's taken. Keep moving.
427
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,482
Oh, I didn't even know
you owned a dress.
428
00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:05,517
Taken.
- All right, Shelly.
429
00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:07,206
You just need to calm down.
430
00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:08,586
This is your first
advertising pitch
431
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:10,275
and I just want it to be
perfect, right?
432
00:16:10,275 --> 00:16:11,793
Yeah, it will be.
433
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,137
Uh-uh. Can you not see
I'm standing here?
434
00:16:14,137 --> 00:16:15,344
Roger.
435
00:16:15,344 --> 00:16:16,896
Eileen, I love that dress.
436
00:16:16,896 --> 00:16:20,137
[Stonehenge's
"King of the Golden Hall"]
437
00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:23,068
♪ ♪
438
00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:24,310
♪ Hey ♪
439
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:29,448
♪ ♪
440
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:32,413
♪ Three rings
for the Elven kings ♪
441
00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:35,241
♪ Underneath the sky ♪
442
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:38,482
♪ One for the Dark Lord ♪
443
00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:41,379
♪ On his dark throne ♪
444
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:43,137
♪ Yeah ♪
445
00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:44,793
♪ A missed dream ♪
446
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,724
♪ Gotta stop it now ♪
447
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:51,517
♪ The burning desire, yeah ♪
448
00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:53,275
Mm. So many shrimp.
449
00:16:53,275 --> 00:16:54,620
Ooh, and the big ones, too.
450
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,827
What are you wearing?
451
00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:58,482
What? You said
"Dress for the occasion."
452
00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,034
This looks like
the "Rich and Horny" wardrobe.
453
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:01,655
That's because it is.
454
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,379
Look, it was either this
or "Victorian Vixens."
455
00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:05,620
Please excuse my sister's
lack of manners.
456
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,586
I think you look just fine.
I'm Shelly.
457
00:17:07,586 --> 00:17:09,551
- Oh, hey.
- Hi. Oh--hi.
458
00:17:09,551 --> 00:17:11,689
Hi. Shelly. Shelly.
459
00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,379
Shelly.
- Older or younger?
460
00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:15,000
Someone's
been brought up right.
461
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,689
- Well--
- So, I gotta say, this place
462
00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:18,275
is not as nice
as I thought it would be.
463
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,344
The hedges need pruning.
- Oh, that's 'cause it's June
464
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:21,965
and the wrens
are still nesting in them.
465
00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:24,068
I have the same problem
at my chateau.
466
00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,344
- Okay.
- Okay.
467
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,000
Let's get this show
on the road.
468
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,068
Oh, good, I have a table
saved all right over here--
469
00:17:29,068 --> 00:17:30,758
Oh, the Coopers.
470
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,827
Hey, Dianne.
471
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,827
all: L'Chaim.
- Oh.
472
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:37,655
Let's introduce you
to Mr. Ross, okay?
473
00:17:37,655 --> 00:17:40,620
Who gives a mare's behind?
They're bunnies.
474
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,758
What are we supposed to do,
test on humans?
475
00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:44,517
A good point as always,
Mr. Ross.
476
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:46,310
They're unhinged,
these activists.
477
00:17:46,310 --> 00:17:48,206
What's next, a ban on DDT?
478
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,000
[all laugh]
- Gentlemen.
479
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,620
I see you put your face on
for the evening.
480
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:55,517
Oh, I just wore a little
eyeliner, that's all.
481
00:17:58,034 --> 00:18:00,517
- [laughs]
- [chuckles]
482
00:18:00,517 --> 00:18:02,862
This must be the famous
Mr. Renetti.
483
00:18:02,862 --> 00:18:04,896
It is. You have a beautiful
club here, sir.
484
00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:06,275
Lovely hedges.
485
00:18:06,275 --> 00:18:08,172
Yeah, well, they're a bit
unruly this time of year.
486
00:18:08,172 --> 00:18:09,758
The ladies are quite up in arms
487
00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:11,965
about protecting the wrens.
- Oh, those ladies.
488
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,724
They have opinions about
everything these days.
489
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,448
- We do.
- They've made my business
490
00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:16,827
quite... challenging.
491
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:18,482
- Oh, I bet.
- We feel we can help you.
492
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,482
You seem to have figured
it out, hm?
493
00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:22,448
60% growth
in the last five years,
494
00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:24,310
4 million circulation.
495
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:25,482
You've done your homework, sir.
496
00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,000
Yeah, he has.
497
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,620
So that is why we believe
that "Minx" can really
498
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,793
help you
because it is a platform--
499
00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:32,551
Okay. Okay.
Enough of the chit-chat.
500
00:18:32,551 --> 00:18:35,241
But maybe we should get down
to brass tacks.
501
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,655
Yes, I would love that.
502
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:38,413
My thoughts exactly.
- Mr. Renetti,
503
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:40,275
let's adjourn to the lounge.
504
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:41,655
I hope you're a Cohiba man.
505
00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:43,000
If you got 'em,
I'll smoke 'em.
506
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,689
- [laughs]
- I'll see you later, then.
507
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:51,034
[cheerful music]
508
00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:57,413
♪ ♪
509
00:18:57,413 --> 00:19:00,620
[Doug laughs]
510
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,862
I mean, baby oil works
great as, like, a base,
511
00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:07,241
but if you wanna be really
brown, you have to
512
00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:08,827
add Crisco and then
spray yourself with Pam.
513
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:10,310
Honey, that's how I roast
a ham.
514
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:12,000
[both laugh]
515
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,655
And here I thought
you were Portuguese.
516
00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:15,310
No, no, no.
I'm white as heck.
517
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:16,793
She's like a ghost really.
518
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:18,724
You know what,
Bambi is so talented.
519
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,827
She can open beer bottles
with her teeth.
520
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,413
Pick up tissues
with ropes of spit.
521
00:19:22,413 --> 00:19:23,965
- Uh-uh.
- Mm-hmm.
522
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,068
- Yup.
- Wow.
523
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:29,793
- There it is.
- Are they all mouth related?
524
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,620
Well, my tongue was clipped
when I was two.
525
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,344
- Okay.
- I have a lot of party tricks
526
00:19:33,344 --> 00:19:35,103
but not a lot of actual skills.
527
00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:36,862
And working with your sister
is so amazing.
528
00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:38,482
I mean, she cares about
so many things.
529
00:19:38,482 --> 00:19:40,137
- Yeah.
- I wanna make a difference.
530
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,620
You'll figure it out.
531
00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:43,551
Eleanor Roosevelt started out
as arm candy too.
532
00:19:43,551 --> 00:19:44,724
To Eleanor!
533
00:19:44,724 --> 00:19:46,103
Yes!
[laughter]
534
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,241
Oh, my God.
Your lives seem so fun.
535
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,310
All I do with my mouth is yell.
536
00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:56,241
Can I interest you
in a twilight swim?
537
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:58,482
Uh, I didn't bring my suit.
538
00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,965
You don't need one.
539
00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:14,482
[laughs] Oh, you're kidding.
540
00:20:14,482 --> 00:20:15,965
Really?
- Yeah.
541
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,517
I gotta hand it to you,
you set a nice hook.
542
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,103
It was a pretty easy reel-in
for me.
543
00:20:19,103 --> 00:20:21,758
I mean, obviously
I'm no angling enthusiast,
544
00:20:21,758 --> 00:20:23,793
but I think I can get what that
means from context.
545
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:26,275
He wants the inside cover
for some fancy skin line
546
00:20:26,275 --> 00:20:28,551
and then a few half-pages for,
I don't know,
547
00:20:28,551 --> 00:20:30,034
some eye-related goo.
But he's in.
548
00:20:30,034 --> 00:20:32,827
It looks like Cadillacs
and caviar are in play.
549
00:20:32,827 --> 00:20:34,896
- [laughs]
- Au revoir, le double dong.
550
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,275
Oh, my God.
551
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:37,827
One other thing is, uh,
552
00:20:37,827 --> 00:20:41,206
Mr. Ross wants me to toss in
a night with Bambi.
553
00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,000
Uh, you're not suggesting--
554
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,793
I am. In order to close
the deal,
555
00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:50,551
he wants a night
with Bambi at his--
556
00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:52,827
I guess you could call it his
"fuck pad" at the Ravenswood.
557
00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:55,000
But I will defer to you.
558
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,758
I'll let you decide if those
terms are acceptable.
559
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,172
Ha ha, very funny.
560
00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:04,379
This is his address
and the code
561
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:05,586
to get in the back entrance.
562
00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:07,103
You could try it yourself,
563
00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:08,896
just be prepared
for a handsy old man
564
00:21:08,896 --> 00:21:10,862
who probably
only gets semi-hard.
565
00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:18,896
I'm sorry, kid, but this card
is who these people really are.
566
00:21:25,862 --> 00:21:28,034
[mellow acoustic music playing]
567
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:29,413
♪
568
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,620
This isn't music.
569
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:34,206
No,
"The Great American Songbook,"
570
00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:36,241
now, that is music.
571
00:21:36,241 --> 00:21:39,275
No, poetry.
572
00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:43,517
♪ Night and day,
you are the one ♪
573
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:46,344
♪ Only you beneath the moon
574
00:21:46,344 --> 00:21:48,344
♪ And under the sun
575
00:21:48,344 --> 00:21:50,068
Hope I'm not interrupting.
576
00:21:50,068 --> 00:21:52,068
Cole Porter
is who you're interrupting.
577
00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:54,000
I hear we're going to be
in business.
578
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
You heard right, young lady.
579
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,034
Your partner, Mr. Renetti, got
a good head on his shoulders.
580
00:21:59,034 --> 00:22:02,275
So is this the address we
should use for your contract?
581
00:22:05,896 --> 00:22:09,068
All my life,
you've lorded over this club.
582
00:22:09,068 --> 00:22:12,413
And I have had to listen to
your toasts and your agendas
583
00:22:12,413 --> 00:22:15,620
and your archaic rules
about dressing modestly
584
00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:17,000
and acting with decorum.
585
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,793
I don't know
what you're insinuating,
586
00:22:18,793 --> 00:22:21,034
but clearly, you have misread
the situation.
587
00:22:21,034 --> 00:22:22,896
Oh, so you're not
a vile misogynist
588
00:22:22,896 --> 00:22:25,896
who makes a deal
to have a human being
589
00:22:25,896 --> 00:22:27,517
delivered to his bed?
590
00:22:27,517 --> 00:22:29,448
[music and conversation stops]
591
00:22:31,896 --> 00:22:33,793
It's all right, everyone.
592
00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:36,724
It's just Miss Prigger
in one of her tizzies.
593
00:22:36,724 --> 00:22:38,620
[laughs] Yeah. Yeah.
594
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,241
And that was just Mr. Ross'
hand on my ass
595
00:22:42,241 --> 00:22:46,206
when I was 12 years old and won
the Juniors Tennis Tournament.
596
00:22:46,206 --> 00:22:49,758
You wanna know why I'm never
on the courts anymore?
597
00:22:49,758 --> 00:22:52,448
It's because that ass grab
made me quit.
598
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,896
Oh, none of you are gonna
say anything?
599
00:22:59,896 --> 00:23:03,275
You are an embarrassment.
600
00:23:03,275 --> 00:23:06,931
It's a good thing your father
didn't live to see this day.
601
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,827
Ooh--
[crowd gasps]
602
00:23:11,206 --> 00:23:12,827
[grunting]
603
00:23:12,827 --> 00:23:15,275
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
604
00:23:15,275 --> 00:23:19,172
[crowd mutters]
605
00:23:19,172 --> 00:23:20,482
Uh...
606
00:23:21,965 --> 00:23:23,586
[clears throat]
607
00:23:23,586 --> 00:23:25,896
[gasping, grunting]
608
00:23:27,862 --> 00:23:30,000
[spits]
[crowd gasps]
609
00:23:31,586 --> 00:23:33,482
[Mr. Ross gasping]
610
00:23:33,482 --> 00:23:35,241
You're fine.
611
00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:40,827
[light acoustic music]
612
00:23:40,827 --> 00:23:43,655
[radio chatter]
613
00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:46,379
God, I've wanted to
do that for years.
614
00:23:46,379 --> 00:23:48,793
I didn't even know you could
break three ribs at once.
615
00:23:48,793 --> 00:23:50,103
Doug told me what he said,
616
00:23:50,103 --> 00:23:51,827
so I gave it
a little extra oomph.
617
00:23:51,827 --> 00:23:54,310
- So a new talent.
- Ooh.
618
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:55,862
Jesus, Prigger.
619
00:23:55,862 --> 00:23:58,620
Who knew you could throw
a punch?
620
00:23:58,620 --> 00:24:01,068
I can never come back
to this place.
621
00:24:01,068 --> 00:24:04,137
And I think
I'm fine with that.
622
00:24:05,517 --> 00:24:07,241
Hey, Joyce, when I, uh--
623
00:24:07,241 --> 00:24:10,137
when I met that man and
realized that he might actually
624
00:24:10,137 --> 00:24:13,620
advertise in our magazine,
I'm not gonna lie to you, kid,
625
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,413
I got--
626
00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:17,137
I got really excited.
627
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:19,482
Yeah.
628
00:24:19,482 --> 00:24:21,965
I mean, what,
you don't think I want to, uh,
629
00:24:21,965 --> 00:24:23,724
I don't know,
be in business with people
630
00:24:23,724 --> 00:24:26,000
who've got real money?
[laughs]
631
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,758
Chum it up at The Palm
on somebody else's dime?
632
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,655
Yeah, that's not--
633
00:24:30,655 --> 00:24:32,206
that's not where we are, though.
634
00:24:32,206 --> 00:24:35,137
No, but I believe we will be.
635
00:24:35,137 --> 00:24:38,586
You and me together
on our terms.
636
00:24:38,586 --> 00:24:39,758
I like the sound of that.
637
00:24:39,758 --> 00:24:41,379
Good.
638
00:24:41,379 --> 00:24:43,448
'Cause I need you to do
something for me.
639
00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:45,275
Oh, God.
640
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:48,310
There's so many textures
and sizes.
641
00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:50,413
Oh, this one has
a very realistic vein.
642
00:24:50,413 --> 00:24:53,413
Oh, I got an idea.
How about, "Dildos.
643
00:24:53,413 --> 00:24:55,896
When every other advertiser
says no."
644
00:24:57,034 --> 00:24:59,620
Can I ask a crazy question?
645
00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:03,965
Is it really so bad to let
women know about sex toys?
646
00:25:03,965 --> 00:25:06,000
What woman wants a sex toy?
647
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,620
I don't know anyone
who uses them.
648
00:25:08,689 --> 00:25:10,965
- Uh, yes you do.
- Oh?
649
00:25:13,896 --> 00:25:16,103
Oh.
- Yeah, it's the only way I
650
00:25:16,103 --> 00:25:20,413
can, um... get to the end,
per se.
651
00:25:20,413 --> 00:25:22,413
So not with Lenny?
652
00:25:22,413 --> 00:25:24,517
No, I mean, sex feels nice,
but I just--
653
00:25:24,517 --> 00:25:27,689
I need something to push me
over the edge.
654
00:25:27,689 --> 00:25:29,620
For a long time,
I thought there was
655
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:31,068
something wrong with me.
656
00:25:31,068 --> 00:25:34,413
If I'd been aware of these,
um... helpers,
657
00:25:34,413 --> 00:25:36,379
you know,
when I was first married,
658
00:25:36,379 --> 00:25:38,482
it might have saved me
a lot of tears
659
00:25:38,482 --> 00:25:42,172
and a scary trip downtown
with a wig and glasses.
660
00:25:43,586 --> 00:25:45,137
I had no idea.
661
00:25:45,137 --> 00:25:47,448
Yeah, well, we don't talk
about this kind of stuff.
662
00:25:47,448 --> 00:25:49,724
Well, maybe we should.
663
00:25:49,724 --> 00:25:51,310
Yeah. Okay.
664
00:25:51,310 --> 00:25:53,586
Uh, what's your favorite way
to masturbate?
665
00:25:53,586 --> 00:25:55,103
Oh, my God, no.
[laughs]
666
00:25:55,103 --> 00:25:56,827
Excuse me, Miss.
667
00:25:56,827 --> 00:25:59,034
I just told you some
very personal things.
668
00:25:59,034 --> 00:26:00,965
Things only my hairdresser knows.
669
00:26:00,965 --> 00:26:02,448
[laughs] No.
670
00:26:02,448 --> 00:26:04,793
I d--I don't do it,
anyway, so--
671
00:26:04,793 --> 00:26:06,172
Not really.
So it's just, you know--
672
00:26:06,172 --> 00:26:08,344
It makes me feel, um...
673
00:26:08,344 --> 00:26:09,862
Ugh. It's dumb.
674
00:26:09,862 --> 00:26:11,620
So the only way
you can get pleasure
675
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,172
is when you're with a man?
676
00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:15,206
That's not very feminist, Joycie.
677
00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:17,137
I mean, what would
Gloria Steinem say?
678
00:26:17,137 --> 00:26:18,448
I hope if I ever meet
Gloria Steinem,
679
00:26:18,448 --> 00:26:20,137
we are not talking about masturbating.
680
00:26:20,137 --> 00:26:21,931
And I very much hope
that you are.
681
00:26:21,931 --> 00:26:24,103
She probably has a few tricks
up her sleeve,
682
00:26:24,103 --> 00:26:25,379
you know?
- [laughs]
683
00:26:25,379 --> 00:26:26,689
All right,
I'll see you later.
684
00:26:26,689 --> 00:26:29,758
Use this one. Level 4. Okay?
685
00:26:40,068 --> 00:26:44,000
[mellow pop/rock]
686
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:50,275
♪ ♪
687
00:26:57,517 --> 00:27:02,965
♪ I found it very hard
to realize ♪
688
00:27:02,965 --> 00:27:05,931
♪ ♪
689
00:27:05,931 --> 00:27:08,310
♪ That you ♪
690
00:27:08,310 --> 00:27:12,068
♪ Stole the love inside
from my eyes ♪
691
00:27:12,068 --> 00:27:15,689
♪ ♪
692
00:27:15,689 --> 00:27:18,758
[vibrator buzzes]
693
00:27:18,758 --> 00:27:25,586
♪ ♪
694
00:27:25,586 --> 00:27:26,965
Ahh.
695
00:27:26,965 --> 00:27:28,965
Ahh!
696
00:27:28,965 --> 00:27:31,586
[moans, laughs]
697
00:27:31,586 --> 00:27:33,655
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
698
00:27:33,655 --> 00:27:36,448
[moaning]
Holy moly!
699
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:40,517
♪ With everything
that you do ♪
700
00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:47,724
♪ To me, I coulda been
a stray for you ♪
701
00:27:51,034 --> 00:27:55,344
♪ You turn me upside down ♪
702
00:27:55,344 --> 00:27:59,793
♪ You treated me
like a clown ♪
703
00:27:59,793 --> 00:28:05,827
♪ I, I didn't read the play
between the lines ♪
704
00:28:05,827 --> 00:28:10,206
♪ I acted out the part
you had in mind ♪
705
00:28:12,310 --> 00:28:18,655
♪ For me, I play the part
you want so very well ♪
706
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:22,620
♪ 'Cause I'm the only one
I couldn't tell ♪
707
00:28:22,620 --> 00:28:29,068
♪ That playing off
was what you do so well ♪
708
00:28:29,068 --> 00:28:36,241
♪ ♪
709
00:28:59,241 --> 00:29:05,413
♪ You, you took me in,
I didn't realize ♪
710
00:29:05,413 --> 00:29:09,448
♪ Pulling me to you
is no surprise ♪
711
00:29:09,448 --> 00:29:15,724
♪ 'Cause everything
you told me was a lie ♪
49505
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