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And here comes North Melbourne.
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The Grand Final.
North Melbourne and Sydney Swans.
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He'll look down towards Lockett territory.
Here he is.
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Couldn't take it.
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Dean Laidley. So courageous.
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I'm very proud of
the first phase of my life.
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- There it is!
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North are champions!
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I wouldn't
change it for the world.
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Might have done it
a little bit differently
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at certain stages along the way.
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...free on bail.
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But Dean Laidley isn't going home.
He's going to rehab.
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...53-year-old
was at rock bottom.
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Now that I'm here,
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I can tell my story in my own words.
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I think there's
a real psychological battle
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going on at the moment.
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You know,
it's going to be slowly, slowly,
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one foot in front of the other.
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Which path do you take?
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Which way do you go?
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But I'm proud of who I am
and who I'm becoming.
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I got a phone call
the night that it had happened,
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sort of saying, you know,
"Your dad's been arrested.
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These are the circumstances.
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So, sort of bunker down and get ready."
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I was sitting
at home on the couch.
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It was all over the news.
It was everywhere.
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My phone was going flat out
with text messages, phone calls.
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I actually wanted to digest
what was happening at the time.
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To be honest,
it sort of wasn't a shock
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that it was going to happen,
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'cause the way that it was going,
it was going to end badly.
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Former North Melbourne
player and coach, Dean Laidley,
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is in custody
after being arrested last night.
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Charged with stalking
and other offences,
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now he's in a holding cell.
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Laidley has also been
charged with drug possession
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after ice was allegedly found
stashed inside his bra
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when he was arrested.
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He's been remanded
until the 11th of May.
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I had no idea where she was,
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and then I started, like, Googling it,
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and I was like, "Okay, like,
what's going on?"
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Next thing I know,
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there's like a million reporters
buzzing up the apartment.
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A leaked photo
of the 53-year-old
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dressed in women's clothing
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and a makeup-smeared mugshot
have gone viral.
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Two photographs showing
Ms. Laidley in a wig and makeup
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were published on social media,
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effectively outing her as transgender.
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That's a pretty big secret to have...
hidden from the world
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for such a long period of time
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for someone who has had
such a high-profile playing career,
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and then coaching career.
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Everyone in the industry
is completely shocked.
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You've got to separate
the two stories here.
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One is that he's facing
some very serious charges,
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including stalking.
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The other one is his
gross invasion of privacy
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and almost a human rights violation.
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It's terrible to look at
what she went through,
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but it's also extraordinary to think
that she survived for so long
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in what is a pretty cut and thrust world.
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Highly competitive, pretty brutal,
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with all these internal
struggles going on.
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To actually hear that
Dani was doing drugs,
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and then that to come out
that she was doing ice
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was a real, real surprise.
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I would have thought that's one person
that would never, ever engage in drugs.
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It was confronting.
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It's definitely...
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yeah, hard to see your parent, you know,
in such a vulnerable position.
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Obviously, they look after you
for your whole life,
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and then all of a sudden
the script's flipped.
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Yeah.
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I, o-obviously,
I want the truth to be out there
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of my life and the ups and downs.
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I don't... I don't want to hide anything
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because my life, I've had to hide
in sort of different ways
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and have compartmentalised life.
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Now that I'm here,
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learning to deal with
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and having to rebuild my person,
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it's going to be slowly, slowly,
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one foot in front of the other.
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And, you know, I can tell my story
in my own words,
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but it must revolve around
me just being me.
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Nothing more, nothing less.
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It was from very young, these feelings.
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I never pushed it away.
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So, the only thing I could do and did do
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through the early stages of my life
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is walk side-by-side with it.
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- ]
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This is going
back to our first house
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in Kilmurray Way, in Balga.
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Tell me about it.
It's all about the bright colours.
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It is.
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But I find
whenever I do the washing,
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it just chips it off.
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All I can remember is
this lady who was really done up
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and painting her nails.
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Dude, can someone invent
a non-chip nail polish, please.
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- Yeah.
- Straight away.
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And then I,
then I stopped even filing my nails.
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And the nail polish
was left on the table.
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All of a sudden, I go...
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and, doesn't come off.
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Try to put some water on it. No.
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And I'm thinking, "Oh my God,
I'm going to get caught!"
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Like, I've stolen this nail polish.
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And then sort of got, you know,
some rocks and some sand,
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and eventually got it off.
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Well, what I thought was off.
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So then I ran outside.
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We had this big pampas grass,
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and I've lobbed the nail polish
into the pampas grass,
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never to be seen again.
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What this attraction was, I did not know,
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but I knew the sense of feeling
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that I was getting from them.
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And that was hard to process it so young.
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If you grew up
in the '70s and '80s,
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as Dani and I did in Perth,
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it was AFL football in winter
and cricket in the summer,
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and Dani was exceptional at both of them.
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Exceptional!
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If I'd have had her ability
as a cricketer and a footballer,
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together with the blonde hair
and, you know, all of that,
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you couldn't have written
a script any better.
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At the time, play footy and cricket
as well as you can
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and have lots of mates
and live happily ever after.
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But that was a million miles away
from where Dani was.
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When we were in high school
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and we were dating,
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I'd planned to go to Danielle's house
straight from netball training,
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but Danielle was always
so busy doing homework.
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But now I found out she wasn't doing
homework, she was just avoiding
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and experimenting with, you know, some
makeup and hair and things like that.
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So I always felt a bit rejected by Dani,
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but now I know that was her way
of having her own little world.
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So, I honestly can say I never really knew
who this person was until now.
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The real person.
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Looking back now,
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how depressed and how much anxiety
that I had in my early teenage years,
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the thing that saved me and kept me sane
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was my football career.
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There was accolades on accolades,
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and you build that reputation,
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and all of a sudden,
it went really quickly.
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Laidley, liked his game too...
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As a 15-year-old,
State Schoolboys,
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to 18 months later playing
senior football at West Perth.
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Laidley's kick is a mighty kick
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from the boot of Dean Laidley,
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a tremendous kick
from just inside the 50-metre line.
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This is Laidley.
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A standing shot at goal is a beauty.
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I played for
West Australian senior team
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against Victoria and South Australia.
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And I was 18 at that point.
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And then the Eagles came along.
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Start of this game
here at Subiaco Oval.
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Goes over the top. Laidley.
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00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:05,608
Laidley runs it up to centre wing,
one bounce and a second.
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Now he settles.
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00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,775
Kicks towards half forward,
intended for Lewis...
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Suddenly,
I'm on this huge stage,
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playing the most popular sport
in the country.
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They got crowds of over 100,000.
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Laidley.
Is it Laidley on half back?
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Australian Rules Football, AFL, is
Australia's Indigenous code.
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Contact sport.
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It's sort of like the NFL,
but in Australia.
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Here he goes again.
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Ooh!
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Into the back, for that left eye.
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I was part of
the old Victorian Football League,
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but for that to expand,
it needed to go national.
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So, it involved sides coming
from Western Australia,
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South Australia, et cetera, et cetera.
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The transition then was massive
for players and supporters,
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for the money involved in the game.
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Different players coming
from different clubs
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to make up your club.
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It was very exciting.
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You know, a new team
out of Western Australia,
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and, was lucky enough to be picked as
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one of the first 35 in the initial squad
and played in their first game.
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Straightens up onto the left foot.
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Hooks it across.
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- Laidley!
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00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:15,083
An excellent mark by Dean Laidley.
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It was like just
so much happened
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in my football career,
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but also getting married, you know,
having children,
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and building your own family,
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which I really pined for,
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because we didn't get that
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when I was, you know, younger.
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Football, it allowed us
to buy a house straight away
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and build a great little
family environment.
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This was my eldest daughter's
first family home.
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00:13:01,291 --> 00:13:04,233
And then a few years after that,
Kane came along.
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Smile.
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00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:08,608
Seven years later,
our third child was born.
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Our second daughter.
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There was one golden rule with it all,
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which stood above the rest was,
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I would make sure that
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they are set in their lives.
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That they've had opportunities.
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Come hell or high water,
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00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:35,458
I was going to make sure
my family had everything.
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00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,316
If that was at a cost to me,
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so be it.
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00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,566
In the spotlight,
but out of view,
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00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:08,275
Dean Laidley was rushed to rehab
after being released from jail.
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00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,900
Mr. Laidley was
granted bail on the condition
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00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,858
he enter a secure treatment facility.
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00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:15,900
His son picked him up from prison
to take him there.
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00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,858
There were times where
Dad was being quite difficult
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00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:23,900
in terms of rehab and time frames,
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and it sort of got to a point
where Dad was like,
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00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,525
"You know, I'm not doing it.
No, I'm not doing it.
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00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:30,650
I've had enough."
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00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,358
There was one day where,
yeah, I just snapped.
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"All the decisions that you've made
of late have not been good ones,
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00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:43,108
so you've kind of forfeited the right
to make your own,
235
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:45,025
so I'm going to be making them for you."
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00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:47,441
It would have been the next day.
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00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,775
Got a call back from Dad, and...
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00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:52,941
and she was like, you know,
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00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,941
"Let's get it sorted. I trust you."
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00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:05,441
My experience is
when we're not doing well in life
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00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:07,983
or when we are feeling vulnerable,
242
00:15:08,083 --> 00:15:10,733
we can seek relief
through a number of ways.
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00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,650
One of them is getting high. You know.
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00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,775
And one of them is just doing
what we're good at.
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00:15:14,875 --> 00:15:16,650
And Dani is a good coach,
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00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,483
and, yes, she would do that in the rehab.
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She was a nightmare sometimes
because I'd come in,
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00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:22,900
and she'd have a clipboard out
and she'd be organising everyone.
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00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,525
And then she'd pull me into the office
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00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:27,441
and tell me what was wrong with
the way we were structuring things,
251
00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:30,041
and give me new management ideas.
252
00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:32,358
I put up with it a few times,
253
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,150
and then, after a while, I sat her down
254
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,775
and I said, "Dani, I don't need
to teach you to coach."
255
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:39,025
"Let's actually do the work
that we need to do,
256
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,208
which is you understanding why
you're unhappy all the time."
257
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,358
From the press, I knew
that she had been
258
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:52,775
bailed to a rehabilitation centre,
259
00:15:52,875 --> 00:15:54,958
but I didn't hear from Danielle
260
00:15:56,208 --> 00:16:00,108
until she had done, I think, 20 weeks.
261
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:03,566
She sent me a great, big,
beautiful text message
262
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:06,775
and telling me that she was
a transgender woman,
263
00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:08,775
and now she's Danielle May.
264
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:10,916
I was like, "Yeah."
265
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,566
"That's okay. Like,
I'm not worried about that."
266
00:16:13,666 --> 00:16:15,941
"I was just more worried
about you," you know?
267
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,025
So then we spoke on the phone for hours,
268
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:21,066
and I just said, "I've always
loved you and always will.
269
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,691
I just want you to be well."
270
00:16:23,791 --> 00:16:24,983
Yeah.
271
00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:28,041
But it was never an issue that
she was Danielle May.
272
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,916
So, is that one the one that
went down the bottom? Yeah?
273
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:55,958
The... at the back?
274
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,650
Um...
275
00:16:58,750 --> 00:16:59,666
Hang on.
276
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:02,666
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
277
00:17:03,666 --> 00:17:05,691
Yeah,
I'm pretty nervous, actually.
278
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,608
I don't know how my mum's going to be.
279
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:11,025
Um, you know, we've Face-Timed
and all that sort of stuff
280
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:14,108
and, you know, she's elderly now
281
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:17,316
and, you know,
she's struggling to remember.
282
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:18,458
Um...
283
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:21,416
And that's really... It's frustrating her.
284
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,191
But anyway... ooh, I'd better put this on.
285
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,083
Um, it's quite difficult.
286
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:27,625
Um...
287
00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:37,650
Telling family or friends
something like this
288
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:40,916
is a life-changing situation.
289
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:44,983
It ended up blowing up publicly
290
00:17:45,083 --> 00:17:49,916
before we had a chance
to even start to navigate,
291
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,083
"What does this look like?"
292
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:59,066
I only can imagine the shame,
293
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:00,358
the embarrassment,
294
00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:02,791
that they felt.
295
00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:10,208
Leif.
296
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,025
Come in.
297
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,900
How are you, darl'?
298
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,775
- Oh, it's good...
299
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:18,083
Oh, it's to see you.
300
00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:21,525
Have you got taller or am I shrinking?
301
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:24,858
No, look, I've got heels on.
Yeah, but you're probably shrinking.
302
00:18:24,958 --> 00:18:27,875
Yeah, but I've been shrinking.
I'm sure I'm shrinking.
303
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,666
You're looking good.
304
00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:33,416
You're really looking good.
305
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:35,250
Um...
306
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,441
Oh, yeah. Hello.
307
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,791
Yeah.
308
00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:50,025
- Yeah.
309
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:52,900
This is the greatest
opportunity I've had
310
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,458
to ever have a relationship
311
00:18:56,083 --> 00:19:01,583
with a sibling that wasn't
a crash-hot brother,
312
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,458
but is a crash-hot sister.
313
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:08,125
Blood's blood.
314
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:11,833
You know? And you can't change that.
315
00:19:14,416 --> 00:19:17,358
Paul and I are going to
go down to Pinnaroo from here.
316
00:19:17,458 --> 00:19:18,816
Oh, that's lovely.
317
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:22,233
Something for you two boys to do, so...
318
00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:26,358
But can you just rewind that?
What did you say?
319
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,233
I said, "Something that you boys can do."
320
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,900
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
321
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,108
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
322
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,441
It is a bit hard for me, darl',
at the minute.
323
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:37,750
Yes, I know. That's okay.
324
00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:44,900
I have to coach Mum a bit
and get her to understand
325
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:50,166
that Dani just wants to be identified
as the person that she is.
326
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:53,291
Come on,
I'm just so happy to see you.
327
00:19:55,416 --> 00:19:57,525
Oh, I am. I am.
328
00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,566
I just feel washed out.
329
00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:19,708
You know? It's been, um...
330
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,125
been quite a big week.
331
00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:37,291
Some days, it feels like it's
just getting way too hard.
332
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,625
You know, all this is because of me.
333
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:44,166
In regard to being arrested,
334
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:47,125
I take the full responsibility for that.
335
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:52,483
But anything after that
has had nothing to do with me.
336
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:07,400
Victoria Police has suspended
a senior constable
337
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,483
for leaking photos
of Dean Laidley in custody.
338
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:12,691
I want to be absolutely clear,
339
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:16,941
I'm appalled that
an employee of Victoria Police
340
00:21:17,041 --> 00:21:18,833
has taken these photographs.
341
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:26,900
So this is about
eight o'clock on a Saturday night.
342
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,733
Go through the side door
at the St Kilda Police Station,
343
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:33,108
and I'm confronted with, I don't know,
344
00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,858
a dozen police?
345
00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:38,750
Just sort of basically
standing in a semicircle,
346
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,608
a little laughing and giggling going on.
347
00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:44,191
I just felt like an animal in the zoo.
348
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,858
The first thing is, stop, mug shots.
349
00:21:53,416 --> 00:21:56,400
And then I go into the interview room,
350
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,983
and that's when the particular officer,
351
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,708
who wasn't even
a staff member at St Kilda,
352
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:04,525
was the one... he took the photo
353
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:07,025
which was posted on the front page.
354
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,816
Very disappointing.
355
00:22:15,916 --> 00:22:18,583
You know, Victoria Police,
as an organisation,
356
00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:23,733
you trust they're going to do
everything they can to protect you.
357
00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:27,541
But, yeah, the trust is...
is definitely broken there.
358
00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:32,125
A lot of my friends and family
knew that I'd been close with Danielle
359
00:22:32,708 --> 00:22:35,691
over quite a period of time,
360
00:22:35,791 --> 00:22:38,608
and they were sending me
that terrible photo
361
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:40,941
that was taken by the St Kilda Police.
362
00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:44,816
So I got that sent to my phone
before it was even in the paper,
363
00:22:44,916 --> 00:22:49,066
and I just lied to everybody
364
00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:51,816
and said, "Oh, yes, I do.
I do know what's happened.
365
00:22:51,916 --> 00:22:54,108
And it's, there's more to this story,
366
00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:56,941
and I'm not in a place to tell you
367
00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:59,375
'cause Danielle swore me to secrecy."
368
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:01,691
I didn't think I'd get emotional
about that.
369
00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:03,441
That's just, um...
370
00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,316
my way to protect Dani,
371
00:23:05,416 --> 00:23:09,233
'cause I knew how low, um...
372
00:23:09,333 --> 00:23:11,441
she was, and, oh, and those photos,
373
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:13,708
I knew would be really, really damaging.
374
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:30,191
Once it all blew up publicly,
375
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:37,191
the main driver in connecting with people
I play with and people I coach,
376
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:40,108
particularly at North Melbourne
and at West Coast,
377
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:42,983
was introducing myself to them.
378
00:23:43,083 --> 00:23:44,816
Not the one that was in the paper.
379
00:23:44,916 --> 00:23:46,441
Should have got
a bit closer to the beach.
380
00:23:49,125 --> 00:23:49,858
How are you?
381
00:23:49,958 --> 00:23:51,858
- Good to see you. How you been?
- Yeah, good.
382
00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:54,233
- Been a long time, mate.
- Yeah!
383
00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:55,566
All right. We'll get down to it.
384
00:23:55,666 --> 00:23:57,708
- Oh, yeah.
- C'mon, outside.
385
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,816
How are you, Laidley? How are you?
386
00:24:00,916 --> 00:24:01,941
- All right.
- Good?
387
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:02,983
Have you shrunk?
388
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,400
- Well, I've got heels on.
389
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,275
Hey, guys.
390
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,816
- Laids.
- Hey, Spide'.
391
00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:07,858
- How ya going, mate?
- Spide'.
392
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:09,483
Good to see ya.
393
00:24:09,583 --> 00:24:11,900
I forgot how big you were,
how tall you were.
394
00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:19,483
Any stress or...
then the gender stuff,
395
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:21,441
and it would, like, raise its head
396
00:24:21,541 --> 00:24:23,275
and you'd have to deal with it,
397
00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:24,816
um,
398
00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:27,566
I would stick my head into my career.
399
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,900
Just sat with my counsellor/psych one day
400
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,108
and it just came out.
401
00:24:34,208 --> 00:24:35,941
And it was like, "Oh, fuck!"
402
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:39,066
Yeah. Got diagnosed with gender dysphoria,
403
00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:41,150
which... um,
404
00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:44,358
I've carried forever.
405
00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:46,025
As long as I can remember, you know?
406
00:24:46,125 --> 00:24:48,400
What was going through your mind when,
407
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,191
A, you started assistant coaching,
408
00:24:50,291 --> 00:24:51,691
and then B, when you...
409
00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:53,941
Did you go for the North job
or did someone...?
410
00:24:54,041 --> 00:24:55,791
No, I did. I...
411
00:24:56,666 --> 00:24:58,150
Why did I go into coaching?
412
00:24:58,250 --> 00:25:01,858
'Cause, look, in essence, I love footy,
413
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:03,233
I, I still do.
414
00:25:03,333 --> 00:25:07,066
But it was just juggling it
all the way through.
415
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:08,441
And...
416
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:11,333
I... I used to go out when I was coaching,
417
00:25:12,125 --> 00:25:14,750
Um, and I knew it was high risk.
418
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:19,066
No, no, no. Well, yeah, be...
419
00:25:19,166 --> 00:25:21,983
No, no, no, no. I was being my real self.
420
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:23,333
Me. Yep.
421
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,566
Yeah. Yep.
422
00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:29,191
And I knew that.
423
00:25:29,291 --> 00:25:32,358
So, I've always felt on the inside
424
00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:34,566
how I appear now on the outside.
425
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:35,400
Always.
426
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,691
Because... You know why?
427
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,483
You know why? Because...
428
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:44,233
So, this is therapeutic for me.
429
00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:47,441
I've never been able
to sit down in my life
430
00:25:47,541 --> 00:25:52,525
and talk about everything in my life.
431
00:25:52,625 --> 00:25:54,066
It's been so segmented, Pratty,
432
00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:57,108
and that's why it's been so difficult.
433
00:25:57,208 --> 00:25:58,358
Um...
434
00:25:58,458 --> 00:26:00,666
So what you see now is...
435
00:26:01,583 --> 00:26:04,000
- Just normal. Yeah.
- ...is me.
436
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,108
Yeah.
437
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:14,483
I...
438
00:26:14,583 --> 00:26:16,108
The only thing I regret, Spide',
439
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:19,358
is how it's come out,
440
00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:23,191
and it's driven my daughters away from me.
441
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,333
It just rips me apart...
442
00:26:35,791 --> 00:26:37,125
um...
443
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:40,458
how that's ended up...
444
00:26:44,666 --> 00:26:45,833
...with my...
445
00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:50,041
...particularly with my girls.
446
00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:56,983
There may be a line of thinking that
I've chosen this over them...
447
00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:06,983
...which is certainly not the case.
448
00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,191
Um...
449
00:27:08,291 --> 00:27:10,208
I chose to be here...
450
00:27:14,583 --> 00:27:16,833
to be here...
451
00:27:19,708 --> 00:27:20,900
for them,
452
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,608
rather than not be here.
453
00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:25,400
But to be here, I have to be me.
454
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:27,958
I... there's no choice in that.
455
00:27:52,791 --> 00:27:54,150
They might find it tough,
456
00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:55,566
Laidley in particular.
457
00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:57,066
He's likely to be asked to keep check
458
00:27:57,166 --> 00:27:59,900
on Melbourne's long-serving star
Robert Flower.
459
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,025
He's a very good player,
460
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:03,441
so if you played very ordinary last week,
you know,
461
00:28:03,541 --> 00:28:05,066
this week he'll probably come out
462
00:28:05,166 --> 00:28:07,108
and try and, you know,
put the ball on the other foot
463
00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:08,316
or something like that, yeah.
464
00:28:08,416 --> 00:28:10,275
He's good enough
to go and get it again.
465
00:28:10,375 --> 00:28:13,316
Growing up in the AFL,
it's always, you know,
466
00:28:13,416 --> 00:28:18,066
society has this sticking point of,
"Who's the gay footballer?"
467
00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:22,958
Those conversations would
give me huge anxiety, um,
468
00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:26,583
and I would think, "A gay footballer.
469
00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:29,150
Yeah, you wait till you hear about me."
470
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,333
And there's
going to be a free kick
471
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:32,733
as Laidley was put down off the ball.
472
00:28:32,833 --> 00:28:36,900
They really have got three or four real
goers in this West Coast Eagles side,
473
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,858
and I refer to Laidley.
474
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:39,775
He's one.
475
00:28:39,875 --> 00:28:42,816
Australian Rules Football is
a very hurly, burly, tough sport.
476
00:28:42,916 --> 00:28:45,483
There was this emphasis
on muscle and weights
477
00:28:45,583 --> 00:28:47,275
and strength and violence.
478
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:49,900
...back, and once more,
you can see that these boys
479
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,958
aren't that friendly down there.
480
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,025
It was a very bloke-y environment.
481
00:28:56,125 --> 00:28:59,066
The drinking sessions
and going to nightclubs and bars,
482
00:28:59,166 --> 00:29:01,108
and where strippers
and topless barmaids were,
483
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:02,858
and all that sort of stuff, which,
you know,
484
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:04,608
footy is sort of loved in those days.
485
00:29:04,708 --> 00:29:06,650
I'm not decrying it. That's what it was.
486
00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:08,066
Yeah!
487
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:10,525
It's a complicated environment,
but back in those days,
488
00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:11,775
it was definitely old-school,
489
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,275
and I know now that Dani
found that very difficult.
490
00:29:14,375 --> 00:29:15,941
To his teammate
there and Dean Laidley,
491
00:29:16,041 --> 00:29:17,191
and eventually it's forced over the line.
492
00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:19,691
I would describe the culture
493
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:23,066
for Australian trans people in the 1990s
494
00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:25,025
as one of having, sadly,
495
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,775
very little understanding
496
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,400
and very little support.
497
00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,275
Ironhorn is a man!
498
00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:32,983
Ah! Ugh!
499
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:38,233
Look at the size of that Adam's apple.
500
00:29:38,333 --> 00:29:41,025
Veronica, how could you?
501
00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:43,650
- Get your identity crisis straight.
- My identity crisis?
502
00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:46,858
I'm not sitting up here like this
like I'm not messed up.
503
00:29:46,958 --> 00:29:50,816
I can very much understand,
as someone who came out later in life,
504
00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:53,958
how much turmoil there would
have been going on for her.
505
00:29:55,541 --> 00:29:58,566
There were times
during that period
506
00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:02,650
where the gender dysphoria
would be really roaring,
507
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,358
and, at times, you would get frustrated
508
00:30:04,458 --> 00:30:09,483
not being able to get back to that spot
that you yearned for.
509
00:30:09,583 --> 00:30:10,608
Seems to be everywhere.
510
00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:12,733
Malaxos, back it comes.
511
00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:16,525
We played a preseason game
out at Waverley for West Coast.
512
00:30:16,625 --> 00:30:17,983
It was a mid-week game.
513
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:22,233
So, as you did back in those days,
you would go out afterwards.
514
00:30:24,375 --> 00:30:27,941
There was a group of us that went
to Chaser's nightclub.
515
00:30:28,041 --> 00:30:34,316
I knew there was a group of girls there,
and I knew they were transgender girls.
516
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:37,233
It was an encounter for me
517
00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:42,358
to talk and ask questions and learn,
518
00:30:42,458 --> 00:30:45,525
and I'm very grateful for... for that
519
00:30:45,625 --> 00:30:48,083
because, you know, I could have,
520
00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:51,291
for want of a better word, been exposed.
521
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:55,316
When I went to that nightclub,
I parked as close as I could,
522
00:30:55,416 --> 00:30:59,400
and someone yelled out from a car window,
and I will use the exact words,
523
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,983
"Beat the fuck out of you, transvestite."
524
00:31:02,083 --> 00:31:07,875
So there was still, sadly,
a lot of transphobia at that time.
525
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,441
People couldn't find their authentic self
526
00:31:11,541 --> 00:31:14,858
because there wasn't the information,
there wasn't the spaces,
527
00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,400
there also wasn't the visibility
and the support.
528
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:22,333
So it was not easy in the 1990s
to be remotely yourself.
529
00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:26,316
This is Miles.
In short. Laidley in the pocket.
530
00:31:26,416 --> 00:31:30,916
There's no resources,
no one to talk to, no internet.
531
00:31:31,625 --> 00:31:36,525
There's no way in hell
that I would have contemplated,
532
00:31:36,625 --> 00:31:42,458
in that era, of talking
to anyone about this.
533
00:31:43,708 --> 00:31:47,275
And his kick is wide,
so we'll see another throw-in.
534
00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:48,816
I have vivid recollections
535
00:31:48,916 --> 00:31:51,816
that Dani, as a footballer,
was really quite scrawny
536
00:31:51,916 --> 00:31:54,275
in the context of professional
football in the '80s and '90s.
537
00:31:54,375 --> 00:31:58,025
It was characterised by big,
strong, very aggressive men.
538
00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,900
At that stage,
she had plenty of aggression,
539
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,608
but no strength at all.
540
00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:04,025
Oh! Now it's on again...
541
00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:05,108
I was lean.
542
00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:07,358
Even from early doors at
West Perth, it was like,
543
00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,375
"You've got to get stronger.
You've got to put on weight."
544
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,775
"Yeah, okay, okay. Yep."
545
00:32:11,875 --> 00:32:14,566
And, yes, I was going to get stronger,
546
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:20,316
but I wasn't going to blow myself up
into a hulking figure.
547
00:32:20,416 --> 00:32:23,441
So I always did my lower body weights.
548
00:32:23,541 --> 00:32:26,358
I would do upper body weights
for strength,
549
00:32:26,458 --> 00:32:28,400
but never for gaining bulk.
550
00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:31,316
But I had back fractures, broken thumbs.
551
00:32:31,416 --> 00:32:35,233
You know, I'd never just
pull a muscle or strain a muscle.
552
00:32:35,333 --> 00:32:37,191
It was always break something.
553
00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:40,358
Newport.
His left fielder is long.
554
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,566
Forty-five, fifty metres to half forward.
555
00:32:42,666 --> 00:32:44,233
You know,
I've coached a lot of players,
556
00:32:44,333 --> 00:32:48,041
but there's only a few that I actually
remember them getting injured.
557
00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:51,066
We were playing at the MCG.
558
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:53,316
Dani did her ACL.
559
00:32:53,416 --> 00:32:57,191
It's an unfortunate sight
for the West Coast Eagles.
560
00:32:57,291 --> 00:32:59,733
I think that's Dean Laidley
being carried off.
561
00:32:59,833 --> 00:33:03,816
That, to me, was devastating for her,
562
00:33:03,916 --> 00:33:05,566
because that's 12 months.
563
00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:07,566
Tragedy for Dean Laidley
going off the ground there,
564
00:33:07,666 --> 00:33:10,066
having his best season by far as an Eagle.
565
00:33:10,166 --> 00:33:14,400
So when you're not playing,
you get sort of shuffled down the ranks,
566
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:18,108
and I couldn't make my way back into
the team that won the Grand Final
567
00:33:18,208 --> 00:33:19,458
in 1992.
568
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:22,400
And that cut pretty deeply.
569
00:33:25,416 --> 00:33:27,900
When she wasn't in the best 20,
570
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,358
and came to me and said,
"I can be in another club,"
571
00:33:31,458 --> 00:33:32,566
then we cleared her.
572
00:33:36,958 --> 00:33:38,733
Because I barracked for North,
573
00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:41,858
the opportunity to go and play
for my beloved Kangaroos
574
00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:43,566
was too good to refuse.
575
00:33:43,666 --> 00:33:45,858
...and Laidley.
"Play on," you hear the umpire calling,
576
00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,816
as Laidley drives it out
of the danger zone.
577
00:33:47,916 --> 00:33:50,316
Schwass sets things up and takes a ripper.
578
00:33:50,416 --> 00:33:53,775
I've always gravitated to people
that walked to their own beat,
579
00:33:53,875 --> 00:33:57,650
and she was somebody
that had her own tune.
580
00:33:57,750 --> 00:33:59,566
Laidley,
getting on top of McAdam now.
581
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:01,316
My mental preparation?
582
00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:04,000
For me, my mantra was kill or be killed.
583
00:34:04,708 --> 00:34:09,625
Feisty, fiery, scrappy, angry.
584
00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:12,566
But I love playing football with her.
585
00:34:12,666 --> 00:34:14,983
Wayne Schwass
gets it across to Laidley.
586
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:17,775
North go forward to Stevens.
Pressure now on the Essendon defence.
587
00:34:17,875 --> 00:34:20,650
The one thing I know with Dani,
she's got a very addictive personality,
588
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:24,191
and when she sets her mind to something
then she goes 100 miles an hour at it,
589
00:34:24,291 --> 00:34:25,691
and nothing interferes.
590
00:34:25,791 --> 00:34:29,316
Stevens.
Laidley, the Junkyard Dog.
591
00:34:29,416 --> 00:34:30,733
Gives it over
the top to the man
592
00:34:30,833 --> 00:34:33,358
Mr McKenna calls the "Junkyard Dog."
593
00:34:33,458 --> 00:34:36,941
The Junkyard Dog's
away on the other side.
594
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:41,483
This scrawny little foul-mouthed,
tough, angry half-back flanker
595
00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,650
was indeed a junkyard dog, exactly.
596
00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:46,708
It was a ripper of a nickname from
the media standpoint, and it stuck.
597
00:34:47,416 --> 00:34:49,916
But intercepting it
is the Junkyard Dog.
598
00:34:51,125 --> 00:34:53,233
In fact, all that bravado
and huff and puff
599
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:55,400
was trying to cover the person underneath.
600
00:34:58,541 --> 00:34:59,650
I hated it
601
00:34:59,750 --> 00:35:02,566
because that persona was
602
00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:06,150
even further removed from who I was.
603
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:22,108
I had times where
there was stuff in my car.
604
00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:24,650
One time there was tissues with makeup on,
605
00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,275
and my wife at the time accused me
of playing up, cheating.
606
00:35:29,375 --> 00:35:31,025
And I, straight away,
607
00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:35,150
the fear would just rise in your body
608
00:35:35,250 --> 00:35:37,275
to the point where you were nearly
going to have a heart attack.
609
00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:38,916
Just a little bit
of height in the forward line.
610
00:35:38,916 --> 00:35:40,441
Looks like they've moved
Dustin Fletcher down there.
611
00:35:40,541 --> 00:35:43,750
And I took the cheating and said, "Yep,"
612
00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:48,775
over telling her about me.
613
00:35:48,875 --> 00:35:50,650
Out wide.
Good kick to Laidley.
614
00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:51,525
Schwass in the middle.
615
00:35:51,625 --> 00:35:54,816
It does sadden me
that she never felt,
616
00:35:54,916 --> 00:35:57,108
whether it be me
or anyone else at that time
617
00:35:57,208 --> 00:35:58,400
in our club environment,
618
00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:01,691
that she could talk to us about that.
619
00:36:01,791 --> 00:36:04,775
I probably, realistically,
if I'm being honest,
620
00:36:04,875 --> 00:36:07,775
would not have known how to respond.
621
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,691
But she's a friend and she's a teammate.
622
00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:11,125
I would have listened.
623
00:36:12,291 --> 00:36:14,691
That's what I'd like to think that
I would have been able to offer
624
00:36:14,791 --> 00:36:17,566
had something have been said.
625
00:36:17,666 --> 00:36:21,125
But for her reasons, which I respect,
the time wasn't right.
626
00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:33,500
So the moment has come.
627
00:36:36,041 --> 00:36:38,708
The centenary Grand Final is underway.
628
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,983
Both in there. Creswell belts it forward.
629
00:36:42,083 --> 00:36:43,275
Laidley gets back.
630
00:36:43,375 --> 00:36:45,150
Lewis there with Laidley out of play.
631
00:36:45,250 --> 00:36:46,441
North, I think have done well,
632
00:36:46,541 --> 00:36:49,275
to force it away again
about 80 meters from the goal.
633
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:51,108
To be honest with you,
it was a day
634
00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:52,983
that I had always hoped for.
635
00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,358
It was a day that I thought
636
00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:57,441
would always complete me,
637
00:36:57,541 --> 00:36:58,441
if we won.
638
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,791
And there it is.
North are champions!
639
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:08,566
...and it probably did
for the first two or three months.
640
00:37:08,666 --> 00:37:10,608
You know, there's a lot
of celebrations, partying.
641
00:37:10,708 --> 00:37:13,775
Number seven, Dean Laidley.
642
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:20,375
I'd reached this pinnacle that I'd been
searching for, for so many years.
643
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:24,691
Being out on the ground,
getting the cup, doing that lap,
644
00:37:24,791 --> 00:37:27,608
and now just sort of sitting
here and taking it all in
645
00:37:27,708 --> 00:37:30,191
with the three people who have
supported me the whole way,
646
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:31,358
it's just fantastic.
647
00:37:37,958 --> 00:37:40,733
But then when
the lights went down...
648
00:37:42,791 --> 00:37:45,083
What's the next phase of my life?
649
00:38:00,666 --> 00:38:03,108
Danielle was
one of my patients.
650
00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:06,858
I remember her quite distinctly
because she was very fearful.
651
00:38:06,958 --> 00:38:10,125
When she first came,
there was a lot of, um...
652
00:38:11,666 --> 00:38:12,983
substance abuse,
653
00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:16,650
and perhaps a bit of self-neglect,
654
00:38:16,750 --> 00:38:21,250
which sort of reflected
the degree of distress that she was under.
655
00:38:22,708 --> 00:38:25,858
I remember the day
that, you know, I went back to
656
00:38:25,958 --> 00:38:30,358
get some results and,
and talk to my endocrinologist.
657
00:38:30,458 --> 00:38:32,066
She told me,
658
00:38:32,166 --> 00:38:38,108
"You do have and have had
gender dysphoria your whole life."
659
00:38:38,208 --> 00:38:40,566
It was only supposed to be like
a 40-minute appointment.
660
00:38:40,666 --> 00:38:43,066
I stayed there talking to her
for nearly four hours,
661
00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:44,275
crying,
662
00:38:44,375 --> 00:38:47,083
like, so broken emotionally.
663
00:39:00,583 --> 00:39:05,441
And it went from the emotions
that I have right now
664
00:39:05,541 --> 00:39:08,166
to, um,
665
00:39:09,083 --> 00:39:12,025
to walking out the door
and skipping down the road.
666
00:39:12,125 --> 00:39:15,525
She had these feelings,
from what she told me, lifelong,
667
00:39:15,625 --> 00:39:20,650
but perhaps never had language
to describe how she was feeling.
668
00:39:20,750 --> 00:39:22,316
It's individual for everybody.
669
00:39:22,416 --> 00:39:25,025
Like, some people don't want
a diagnosis, don't want a label,
670
00:39:25,125 --> 00:39:28,525
but for some people,
knowing that they can get help,
671
00:39:28,625 --> 00:39:30,316
and they can get support
672
00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:35,733
to get through, um, their...
what they're struggling with,
673
00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:38,250
that can be quite reassuring
for some people.
674
00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:44,525
Just before Christmas last year, I...
675
00:39:44,625 --> 00:39:49,775
I asked my endocrinologist, Dr Ada Cheung,
676
00:39:49,875 --> 00:39:50,875
um...
677
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:55,333
about what surgeries that
we could possibly look at.
678
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:59,541
Straight away,
she put me onto some progesterone,
679
00:40:01,125 --> 00:40:08,125
and the reason why I went on progesterone
was to maximise my natural breast growth,
680
00:40:10,041 --> 00:40:14,833
because, you know, I was always going
to look at getting some surgery.
681
00:40:15,916 --> 00:40:17,208
Now, um...
682
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:20,333
that time, that time's come.
683
00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:27,441
Yeah. Hi, it's Donna Leckie here
to pick up Danielle Laidley.
684
00:40:27,541 --> 00:40:28,941
I'm in the car park.
685
00:40:29,041 --> 00:40:32,750
She sounds heavily under
anaesthetic still.
686
00:40:33,791 --> 00:40:35,291
Lots of pain relief.
687
00:40:40,333 --> 00:40:42,416
- Hi.
- Hello.
688
00:40:47,833 --> 00:40:49,916
That's it. Pull your skirt down.
689
00:40:53,708 --> 00:40:54,733
Thank you.
690
00:40:56,166 --> 00:40:57,358
What have you done?
691
00:40:57,458 --> 00:40:58,833
Tell me what you've done.
692
00:41:02,333 --> 00:41:03,416
I got...
693
00:41:07,083 --> 00:41:08,358
You didn't feel sick?
694
00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:10,733
Look. Look, look. Look. Look.
695
00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:12,650
No? Didn't feel sick?
696
00:41:12,750 --> 00:41:14,025
No.
697
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:15,691
Do you want to have a look?
698
00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:17,483
Here. I'm here.
699
00:41:17,583 --> 00:41:19,041
Here. Don't be silly!
700
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,583
Give me kiss.
701
00:41:28,083 --> 00:41:30,166
No, you got to meet me halfway.
702
00:41:33,208 --> 00:41:34,316
I gotta go home.
703
00:41:34,416 --> 00:41:35,958
Yeah, we're going home. We're going home.
704
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,108
How are you feeling?
705
00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:53,025
Yeah, very, very sore.
706
00:41:53,125 --> 00:41:55,525
- Very sore?
- Pretty whacked out.
707
00:41:55,625 --> 00:41:59,316
So, I got to rock these
for how long, dear?
708
00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:00,941
A week?
709
00:42:01,041 --> 00:42:02,291
48 hours.
710
00:42:04,625 --> 00:42:06,358
Grumplestitskine.
711
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,941
I beg your pardon?
712
00:42:10,041 --> 00:42:12,108
- How do you feel about this, Donna?
- Yay.
713
00:42:12,208 --> 00:42:13,316
Yay, I'm...
714
00:42:13,416 --> 00:42:16,458
I'm really looking forward to
Valentine's Day and my birthday.
715
00:42:19,083 --> 00:42:23,650
So this is my birthday dinner
from Danielle.
716
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,775
Show her. Put her on.
717
00:42:25,875 --> 00:42:27,525
The camera. Put her on the camera.
718
00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:30,816
Our adopted daughter,
who looks beautiful...
719
00:42:30,916 --> 00:42:33,108
- ...and spoiled me rotten for my birthday.
720
00:42:33,208 --> 00:42:35,025
- Thank you, Jada.
- You're welcome.
721
00:42:35,125 --> 00:42:36,650
And the lady
with the big boobs.
722
00:42:36,750 --> 00:42:38,166
Shut... Danielle!
723
00:42:39,916 --> 00:42:41,191
Happy birthday, Donna.
724
00:42:41,291 --> 00:42:44,583
Love you.
Thanks for making me special.
725
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:46,900
Look at that.
726
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,166
I had, um...
727
00:42:50,708 --> 00:42:53,316
pretty heavy depression and then surgery,
728
00:42:53,416 --> 00:42:54,500
so...
729
00:42:55,375 --> 00:42:56,416
um...
730
00:42:57,583 --> 00:42:59,941
Still so many triggers.
731
00:43:00,041 --> 00:43:01,208
Um...
732
00:43:02,375 --> 00:43:03,750
My girls.
733
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:06,583
Um...
734
00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:09,358
The police stuff.
735
00:43:09,458 --> 00:43:10,816
It's just...
736
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,525
There was a huge investigation
737
00:43:23,625 --> 00:43:26,750
into the actions of the police that night.
738
00:43:27,666 --> 00:43:29,708
Hundreds of police were interviewed.
739
00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:36,233
Thirty-nine had some sort
of internal sanction against them.
740
00:43:36,333 --> 00:43:39,458
Three ended up being charged criminally.
741
00:43:45,041 --> 00:43:47,816
So the argument in the case
against the three officers
742
00:43:47,916 --> 00:43:51,983
was that they accessed information
within the police station
743
00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:53,233
without authority.
744
00:43:53,333 --> 00:43:56,358
That included accessing Dani's record,
745
00:43:56,458 --> 00:43:58,525
taking photographs of Dani,
746
00:43:58,625 --> 00:44:00,400
and commentary surrounding that.
747
00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:04,316
We're still trying to get a handle
on how many received it,
748
00:44:04,416 --> 00:44:06,941
but then the investigation needs to
go in what they do with it.
749
00:44:07,041 --> 00:44:08,025
Did they share it?
750
00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:09,316
That is a significant offence.
751
00:44:09,416 --> 00:44:11,400
It carries up to two-years jail,
752
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:14,608
and just less than $40,000 in fines.
753
00:44:14,708 --> 00:44:17,441
Officers within that police station,
754
00:44:17,541 --> 00:44:21,066
a number of them were part of a group chat
755
00:44:21,166 --> 00:44:24,441
where they would share
different messages, pictures, information.
756
00:44:24,541 --> 00:44:28,041
They shared photographs of Dani
in her most vulnerable state.
757
00:44:29,750 --> 00:44:33,483
The WhatsApp group was called
the SD1 Gentleman's Group,
758
00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:35,441
which is about as great as it sounds.
759
00:44:35,541 --> 00:44:37,733
You know, there were all sorts
of awful comments,
760
00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:39,625
transphobic and otherwise.
761
00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:03,233
I think there's always
public concern
762
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,816
when police are investigating police,
763
00:45:05,916 --> 00:45:07,775
but at the end of the day, in this case,
764
00:45:07,875 --> 00:45:11,441
it is Victoria Police that charge
their own officers with those breaches.
765
00:45:11,541 --> 00:45:14,066
And then it goes to a prosecution's team
766
00:45:14,166 --> 00:45:16,750
that will then follow that case
through court.
767
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,691
Every time I see a police,
768
00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:26,566
every time I see a copper now,
769
00:45:26,666 --> 00:45:28,000
I think,
770
00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:31,233
"Did you send those photos?"
771
00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:33,375
"Did you receive those photos?"
772
00:45:36,916 --> 00:45:38,041
Like...
773
00:45:41,708 --> 00:45:44,358
I know "hate" is a big word, but Jesus.
774
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:54,333
Can't fuckin' deal with it.
775
00:45:55,916 --> 00:46:00,458
These things really weigh heavily on Dani.
776
00:46:02,250 --> 00:46:03,250
Um...
777
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:08,358
Mixed with the fact that
she's getting better from the surgery,
778
00:46:08,458 --> 00:46:10,458
I think that she's getting cabin fever,
779
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,791
but I feel a big bout
of depression coming on.
780
00:46:21,666 --> 00:46:28,541
It got to the point that we had to have
a suicide prevention plan put in place,
781
00:46:30,041 --> 00:46:32,541
and I don't think anyone in the world
782
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:38,250
really knew what Dani went through.
783
00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,666
I feel like I'm good to go...
784
00:46:46,583 --> 00:46:47,733
lots of days,
785
00:46:47,833 --> 00:46:52,625
but... then I get the triggers, and...
786
00:46:54,416 --> 00:46:56,375
fucking police, and...
787
00:46:57,916 --> 00:46:59,458
all that shit.
788
00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:03,000
And then my girls.
789
00:47:08,791 --> 00:47:12,000
And then, you know, you get on with it.
790
00:47:28,666 --> 00:47:30,233
There's been a total reshuffle
791
00:47:30,333 --> 00:47:32,316
of the leadership group at the Kangaroos.
792
00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:35,941
Alan Aylett and Anthony Stevens
there to help new coach Dean Laidley
793
00:47:36,041 --> 00:47:37,191
with his first delivery.
794
00:47:37,291 --> 00:47:39,483
It's a huge honour
to coach this football club,
795
00:47:39,583 --> 00:47:43,150
having played here for five or six years.
796
00:47:43,250 --> 00:47:44,941
We will do things differently.
797
00:47:45,041 --> 00:47:46,483
Laidley has been assistant coach
798
00:47:46,583 --> 00:47:48,858
to Collingwood's Mick Malthouse
for three years.
799
00:47:48,958 --> 00:47:51,458
The signing came a lot sooner
than first thought.
800
00:47:53,333 --> 00:47:56,275
It was more of
the devil you know,
801
00:47:56,375 --> 00:47:57,858
rather than the devil you don't.
802
00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:00,691
At that point in time, I might have been
803
00:48:00,791 --> 00:48:02,858
the second-youngest coach ever appointed.
804
00:48:02,958 --> 00:48:04,275
That's what it's all about.
805
00:48:04,375 --> 00:48:07,816
Keep that zone,
and let's work hard in transition.
806
00:48:07,916 --> 00:48:08,958
Terrific.
807
00:48:09,916 --> 00:48:12,941
There was no one who was more narrow,
focused on winning,
808
00:48:13,041 --> 00:48:14,525
and tactically trying to beat
the opposition
809
00:48:14,625 --> 00:48:15,900
than our coach in those days,
810
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,441
all of which was consistent
with this nickname, Tunnel.
811
00:48:18,541 --> 00:48:20,483
She had tunnel vision.
812
00:48:20,583 --> 00:48:22,250
Which path do you take?
813
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:24,650
Which way do you go?
814
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:26,250
Life's full of choices.
815
00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:30,166
Do you go out to motivate your teammates
816
00:48:31,125 --> 00:48:34,583
with your little focus areas
that we've spoken about during the week?
817
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:38,708
Do you go out? Do you play with a passion?
818
00:48:40,333 --> 00:48:44,416
Do you play terrifically hard
for the blue and white stripes?
819
00:48:46,125 --> 00:48:47,333
It's an honour.
820
00:48:48,666 --> 00:48:52,041
And you guys tonight are lucky enough
to represent this football club.
821
00:48:54,125 --> 00:48:55,733
You know,
it's a very, very stressful job,
822
00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:58,608
and was particularly so
for Dani at the time.
823
00:48:58,708 --> 00:49:02,108
North Melbourne was a team that was
under a lot of pressure off the field
824
00:49:02,208 --> 00:49:04,400
and speculation about relocating
and so forth.
825
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:06,525
The thing that sustained the club
during that period
826
00:49:06,625 --> 00:49:09,166
was that the team performed
exceptionally well.
827
00:49:10,375 --> 00:49:12,233
You just can't do that
without a really good coach.
828
00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:15,666
So, you know, that, I think,
was Dani's finest hour.
829
00:49:18,208 --> 00:49:20,858
You know, I reckon I was going to
have heart attack in that last minute,
830
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:24,858
but, look, all the boys lifted
in certain periods during the game,
831
00:49:24,958 --> 00:49:28,108
and, you know, we were able to,
you know, we scored that last goal,
832
00:49:28,208 --> 00:49:30,983
and then they held up that last minute,
which was terrific.
833
00:49:45,041 --> 00:49:46,941
The shame and embarrassment
834
00:49:47,041 --> 00:49:51,275
of, I suppose, this persona that I had
835
00:49:51,375 --> 00:49:53,941
grown on the football field,
836
00:49:54,041 --> 00:49:55,566
but still living with that fear
837
00:49:55,666 --> 00:49:59,833
of being exposed
to the world was frightening.
838
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:04,150
The older I've got
and have gone through it,
839
00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:09,275
the tougher it's become
to manage, contain,
840
00:50:09,375 --> 00:50:11,275
not push away.
841
00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:13,416
You know? What is the right thing to do?
842
00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:23,441
Hello, I'm Tony Jones reporting live
from Arden Street in North Melbourne,
843
00:50:23,541 --> 00:50:25,483
where the shock news today
is that Dean Laidley
844
00:50:25,583 --> 00:50:27,250
is no longer coach of this football club.
845
00:50:30,083 --> 00:50:32,733
Oh, we had discussions along the way
where Dean had sort of said,
846
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:35,900
"Mate, it's time that I went a different
direction and you did too".
847
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,650
And then after conversations, we thought,
848
00:50:37,750 --> 00:50:40,083
well, probably now
is as good a time as ever.
849
00:50:40,625 --> 00:50:41,941
There's a tinge of sadness,
850
00:50:42,041 --> 00:50:44,316
but there's some real excitement,
851
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,650
certainly from...
852
00:50:45,750 --> 00:50:46,691
from my wife and family
853
00:50:46,791 --> 00:50:50,566
because they get
their husband and dad back
854
00:50:50,666 --> 00:50:52,275
at least for a few months.
855
00:50:52,375 --> 00:50:57,275
I was 42 and I had coached,
you know, 150 games,
856
00:50:57,375 --> 00:51:00,691
which is probably double
the longevity of an AFL coach,
857
00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:03,525
but I couldn't go on any... anymore.
858
00:51:03,625 --> 00:51:06,233
Life in all facets,
859
00:51:06,333 --> 00:51:08,983
work, home,
860
00:51:09,083 --> 00:51:10,066
gender dysphoria,
861
00:51:10,166 --> 00:51:11,833
were just all too much.
862
00:51:17,666 --> 00:51:19,691
You know, I'd come from a...
863
00:51:19,791 --> 00:51:21,150
a split marriage,
864
00:51:21,250 --> 00:51:24,733
and I didn't want that to happen
to my... my children.
865
00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,858
But I had this thing
866
00:51:26,958 --> 00:51:30,666
and had masked and hid it.
867
00:51:38,166 --> 00:51:42,025
I have it on good authority that
you were without peer
868
00:51:42,125 --> 00:51:44,191
in the box on match day.
869
00:51:44,291 --> 00:51:45,900
You were as good as anyone.
870
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,733
You think your time was up, huh?
871
00:51:47,833 --> 00:51:50,108
I've got a feeling, Dean, as I say,
I've never met you before.
872
00:51:50,208 --> 00:51:52,358
I don't... I don't think you think
your time was up.
873
00:51:52,458 --> 00:51:54,083
I think there's something else going on.
874
00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:58,858
But again, it was the,
the job, the industry,
875
00:51:58,958 --> 00:52:01,625
what I knew,
it was like a security blanket.
876
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:05,358
I took a job with Port Adelaide
877
00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:09,000
who gave me a wonderful opportunity
as director of coaching.
878
00:52:11,250 --> 00:52:13,166
And basically, I was running away.
879
00:52:13,708 --> 00:52:15,708
We were going to go as a family,
880
00:52:16,833 --> 00:52:19,333
and right at the last minute I said, "No."
881
00:52:20,708 --> 00:52:22,083
"I'm going by myself."
882
00:52:23,041 --> 00:52:26,250
Again, avoiding, which I seem
to be pretty good at.
883
00:52:28,416 --> 00:52:32,041
But it also allowed me more time to be me.
884
00:52:35,166 --> 00:52:40,150
I was able to explore in
lots of different ways,
885
00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:42,275
lots of reading, lots of watching,
886
00:52:42,375 --> 00:52:43,941
any documentaries I could find,
887
00:52:44,041 --> 00:52:45,333
all that sort of stuff.
888
00:52:47,250 --> 00:52:48,900
But on the other hand,
889
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:55,333
being by myself and away from
my family was horrendous.
890
00:52:56,625 --> 00:52:59,233
It's like a double-edged sword, you know?
891
00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:03,233
And you're wrestling
from one to the other,
892
00:53:03,333 --> 00:53:04,691
to the other, to the other.
893
00:53:04,791 --> 00:53:06,375
I came back,
894
00:53:08,125 --> 00:53:12,566
moved back into the family house
for a little period of time,
895
00:53:12,666 --> 00:53:14,150
but that was sort of it.
896
00:53:14,250 --> 00:53:17,916
After that, we sold everything, um...
897
00:53:18,625 --> 00:53:20,083
went our separate ways, and...
898
00:53:22,041 --> 00:53:25,125
and I went down to St Kilda for two years,
and then went to Carlton.
899
00:53:26,833 --> 00:53:29,025
And, eventually, in 2015,
900
00:53:29,125 --> 00:53:31,400
leaving Carlton after being sacked
901
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,916
and then completely leaving the AFL,
902
00:53:35,208 --> 00:53:37,500
I really got down
to the nuts and bolts of,
903
00:53:38,625 --> 00:53:41,666
"I need to see or do
something about this."
904
00:53:44,291 --> 00:53:46,525
It still took me so many years after that.
905
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,066
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
906
00:54:05,166 --> 00:54:08,316
We're here today for the first-ever
Trans Event on the Surf Coast.
907
00:54:08,416 --> 00:54:12,316
Please welcome someone
who I'm so grateful to call my friend now,
908
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:14,191
Danielle May Laidley.
909
00:54:19,208 --> 00:54:23,441
Today is the 19th of November, 2021.
910
00:54:23,541 --> 00:54:24,541
Um...
911
00:54:30,375 --> 00:54:32,733
Um, it's a significant day for me.
912
00:54:34,041 --> 00:54:35,583
Um...
913
00:54:36,708 --> 00:54:40,500
This is the first time that
I've represented both my tribes.
914
00:54:42,166 --> 00:54:45,983
This morning, we had a function at
the North Melbourne Football Club,
915
00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:47,233
my first tribe.
916
00:54:52,458 --> 00:54:56,191
Now, I get to speak to you lovely people,
917
00:54:56,291 --> 00:55:00,525
and representing
what I determine is my new tribe.
918
00:55:00,625 --> 00:55:02,066
I'm still learning myself,
919
00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:04,983
and trying to network
with as many people as I can,
920
00:55:05,083 --> 00:55:08,900
and I now feel such a responsibility
921
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,400
to make sure that I can play my part
922
00:55:12,500 --> 00:55:13,791
for my new tribe.
923
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:19,358
My story is a little bit different
to, um, a lot of people's.
924
00:55:19,458 --> 00:55:20,375
Um...
925
00:55:21,291 --> 00:55:22,983
and every story is important.
926
00:55:23,083 --> 00:55:26,275
And your ability to share
and keep connecting to people,
927
00:55:26,375 --> 00:55:29,500
I found for me,
has been the best medicine.
928
00:55:30,375 --> 00:55:34,816
So, I really want to thank you
for... for listening.
929
00:55:34,916 --> 00:55:38,233
It hit me about 15 minutes before
we were leaving home this morning
930
00:55:38,333 --> 00:55:40,816
how big a deal today was.
931
00:55:40,916 --> 00:55:42,733
So, thanks very much.
932
00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:01,150
I was a privileged white male
933
00:56:01,250 --> 00:56:05,858
that had the privilege of also being
relatively talented at an elite sport.
934
00:56:09,541 --> 00:56:13,108
I'm not going to pretend
to know and understand
935
00:56:13,208 --> 00:56:16,733
everything about being a transgender woman
936
00:56:16,833 --> 00:56:18,566
or in the rainbow community,
937
00:56:18,666 --> 00:56:20,358
because, let's face it,
938
00:56:20,458 --> 00:56:22,958
I've been removed from it
for a very, very long time.
939
00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:26,775
How important is it for you
to take part in a march like this today?
940
00:56:26,875 --> 00:56:28,375
Ah, yes, very important.
941
00:56:29,625 --> 00:56:31,416
Representing two tribes.
942
00:56:32,791 --> 00:56:36,941
Obviously, transgender tribe
and North on the back.
943
00:56:37,041 --> 00:56:38,566
Thank you so much.
Have a lovely day.
944
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:39,458
Cheers.
945
00:56:41,458 --> 00:56:44,525
I started to research reports
946
00:56:44,625 --> 00:56:48,791
from the Victorian Police
over the last ten, fifteen years.
947
00:56:50,583 --> 00:56:55,066
The gap between
the transgender community and the police
948
00:56:55,166 --> 00:56:58,541
is just wide and widening by the minute.
949
00:57:02,583 --> 00:57:05,233
A police officer
who leaked a photo and information
950
00:57:05,333 --> 00:57:08,191
about ex-North Melbourne coach
Dani Laidley's arrest
951
00:57:08,291 --> 00:57:10,150
has had his charges thrown out.
952
00:57:10,250 --> 00:57:12,650
A magistrate found his actions
were not contrary
953
00:57:12,750 --> 00:57:15,150
to his duties as a police officer.
954
00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:22,150
I'm in shock,
955
00:57:22,250 --> 00:57:26,900
but I'm also thinking, "Oh no,
what is this going to do to Danielle?"
956
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,650
"Oh no. What's going to be reported
in the paper tomorrow?"
957
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:33,108
"Oh no. What's going to be on
all the social media streams?"
958
00:57:33,208 --> 00:57:37,233
So, it's not just getting
the bad news about the police.
959
00:57:37,333 --> 00:57:39,275
Like, it's a ripple effect.
960
00:57:43,416 --> 00:57:44,650
I...
961
00:57:44,750 --> 00:57:46,775
It's just so hard to comprehend.
962
00:57:46,875 --> 00:57:48,608
I... I don't know...
963
00:57:48,708 --> 00:57:51,066
I honestly now don't know what to do.
964
00:58:09,458 --> 00:58:12,441
We really need
law reform in this area,
965
00:58:12,541 --> 00:58:14,483
so that if something like this
happens again,
966
00:58:14,583 --> 00:58:17,233
and I'm fairly confident that it will,
967
00:58:17,333 --> 00:58:19,775
those officers can be
brought to account properly,
968
00:58:19,875 --> 00:58:22,333
and it can go through
the criminal process properly.
969
00:58:24,416 --> 00:58:26,650
Unfortunately, I think two
of the officers kept their jobs
970
00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:29,191
and one officer has left the force
to go become a teacher,
971
00:58:29,291 --> 00:58:33,208
which is not what I would expect
the community would particularly want.
972
00:58:36,583 --> 00:58:39,083
Where is the line that
973
00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:44,191
the police, as an organisation,
974
00:58:44,291 --> 00:58:49,666
say, "No, that's not acceptable,
and you can no longer work for us"?
975
00:58:52,291 --> 00:58:53,958
I've probably forgiven...
976
00:58:55,791 --> 00:58:56,625
um...
977
00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:59,691
but I'll never, ever forget.
978
00:58:59,791 --> 00:59:00,833
Ever.
979
00:59:15,208 --> 00:59:16,191
All right.
980
00:59:16,291 --> 00:59:17,416
- Got your tickets to get in?
- Love you.
981
00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:19,066
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
- All right.
982
00:59:19,166 --> 00:59:20,500
I'll see you after
the game. Ciao.
983
00:59:22,708 --> 00:59:25,441
I'd worked
as a commentator before,
984
00:59:25,541 --> 00:59:29,541
but the biggest thing I was nervous
about this time was my voice.
985
00:59:30,583 --> 00:59:32,650
Gee, I haven't been here for a while.
986
00:59:32,750 --> 00:59:33,691
- How are you? All right?
- Yeah. Good.
987
00:59:33,791 --> 00:59:34,608
- How you going?
- Yeah. Good. Good.
988
00:59:34,708 --> 00:59:36,733
- Good to see you. Thanks for joining us.
- No worries.
989
00:59:36,833 --> 00:59:42,275
In my transition, it's one thing
that I haven't cared about.
990
00:59:42,375 --> 00:59:44,025
Sometimes that does bother me.
991
00:59:44,125 --> 00:59:48,233
If I'm on the phone and, you know,
I'll say, "It's Danielle Laidley."
992
00:59:48,333 --> 00:59:49,483
And they'll go, "Daniel?"
993
00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:50,875
And I'll go, "No. Danielle."
994
00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:53,316
Welcome to Triple M Football.
995
00:59:53,416 --> 00:59:55,441
Dani Laidley, who will be with us
throughout the night.
996
00:59:55,541 --> 00:59:57,750
Dani, it is wonderful
to see your smiling face.
997
00:59:58,250 --> 01:00:00,441
We're all excited to have you here.
You look fantastic.
998
01:00:00,541 --> 01:00:02,358
How are you feeling about
being on the radio
999
01:00:02,458 --> 01:00:04,025
for the first time since 2014?
1000
01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:06,941
Ah, it's great to be
back into the AFL family
1001
01:00:07,041 --> 01:00:08,066
and the Triple M family.
1002
01:00:08,166 --> 01:00:09,191
Thank you for having me.
1003
01:00:09,291 --> 01:00:11,525
Dani, I don't want to wade into...
1004
01:00:11,625 --> 01:00:13,108
you know, you here to talk
about the footy with us,
1005
01:00:13,208 --> 01:00:16,316
but, like, we're fascinated,
we're inquisitive.
1006
01:00:16,416 --> 01:00:18,733
We have lots of questions,
which I'm sure everybody does,
1007
01:00:18,833 --> 01:00:20,833
that is around you and loves you.
1008
01:00:21,833 --> 01:00:22,733
I'll just ask you,
1009
01:00:22,833 --> 01:00:26,791
how difficult is it to live a life
when it's not you?
1010
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,441
Very. Very compartmentalised.
1011
01:00:30,541 --> 01:00:33,025
- Is that all right to ask?
- Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
1012
01:00:33,125 --> 01:00:35,858
- We're a bit tiptoe-y here.
- Yeah, no, please, please, don't be.
1013
01:00:35,958 --> 01:00:37,233
Please. We're all friends here.
1014
01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:39,525
Once the game started,
1015
01:00:39,625 --> 01:00:42,025
it was like back on automatic pilot.
1016
01:00:42,125 --> 01:00:44,400
Their half-backers are really like CJ,
1017
01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:47,483
really coming up really high
and coming forward to defend.
1018
01:00:47,583 --> 01:00:49,358
Great pressure from the Hawks.
1019
01:00:49,458 --> 01:00:51,400
Watching the game, calling the game,
1020
01:00:51,500 --> 01:00:53,191
seeing it as it unfolded.
1021
01:00:53,291 --> 01:00:55,708
I love that about football.
1022
01:00:56,916 --> 01:00:58,441
It was a pretty special night.
1023
01:00:58,541 --> 01:01:01,066
...got found wanting just
because it was a little bit more
1024
01:01:01,166 --> 01:01:03,025
quicker ball movement inside forward 50
1025
01:01:03,125 --> 01:01:06,316
and a bit more movement
by the Dogs forwards.
1026
01:01:06,416 --> 01:01:08,358
Great work from
Dani Laidley alongside Nate Brown
1027
01:01:08,458 --> 01:01:09,483
on the Triple M C-Bus super.
1028
01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:11,483
All the Dogs have got answers
through Bailey, Dale...
1029
01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:17,233
There are people who are really struggling
in the football community,
1030
01:01:17,333 --> 01:01:22,275
with the fact that, in some ways,
Dani has been glorified
1031
01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:27,025
and been seen as very brave in coming out
and living the life she wants to live,
1032
01:01:27,125 --> 01:01:28,150
and good luck to her.
1033
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:33,316
It's fantastic that people accept her now,
and of course we should accept her.
1034
01:01:33,416 --> 01:01:36,483
I think you've just got to remember that
there was a lot of pain on the way,
1035
01:01:36,583 --> 01:01:38,358
and a lot of pain for other people.
1036
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,816
Would you please welcome to the stage
Dean Laidley.
1037
01:01:57,333 --> 01:01:58,400
Bit of advice.
1038
01:01:58,500 --> 01:01:59,458
Um...
1039
01:02:00,333 --> 01:02:02,066
don't sweat the small stuff.
1040
01:02:02,166 --> 01:02:03,816
Great stuff, Dean.
Great to see you back.
1041
01:02:03,916 --> 01:02:08,441
After I left the AFL,
I was living by myself.
1042
01:02:08,541 --> 01:02:10,000
Quite private life.
1043
01:02:10,958 --> 01:02:13,566
There was no working late at night.
1044
01:02:13,666 --> 01:02:16,958
I had my weekends free,
which I hadn't had for 35 years.
1045
01:02:17,625 --> 01:02:19,775
My whole life had been
1046
01:02:19,875 --> 01:02:22,541
family and football.
1047
01:02:23,541 --> 01:02:25,608
So basically they weren't there.
1048
01:02:28,041 --> 01:02:31,691
So then I sort of started
to live my life as me
1049
01:02:31,791 --> 01:02:34,900
with a small group of friends,
1050
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,541
but not in front of my children.
1051
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:44,816
You know, I would try my darnedest to
1052
01:02:44,916 --> 01:02:48,083
keep the two very separated.
1053
01:02:49,666 --> 01:02:53,441
I would sleep all day
just to try and regenerate myself
1054
01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:57,875
because of everything
that it took to be me.
1055
01:02:58,958 --> 01:03:00,608
It was just getting unbearable,
1056
01:03:00,708 --> 01:03:03,000
and it was hard to live in the present.
1057
01:03:03,958 --> 01:03:05,983
The depths of despair that I was at,
1058
01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:11,083
to turn to something that
helps you avoid everything,
1059
01:03:13,125 --> 01:03:14,775
you don't make good decisions,
1060
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:16,416
and it all ends in tears.
1061
01:03:17,958 --> 01:03:19,083
I...
1062
01:03:21,083 --> 01:03:22,750
was learning how to use Snapchat
1063
01:03:23,958 --> 01:03:25,733
because that's how I communicated,
1064
01:03:25,833 --> 01:03:28,441
particularly with the girls every day.
1065
01:03:28,541 --> 01:03:32,900
And one Sunday morning,
I was learning how to do it
1066
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:34,291
and I didn't have my glasses on,
1067
01:03:35,583 --> 01:03:38,233
and instead of pressing save,
1068
01:03:38,333 --> 01:03:39,458
I pressed send.
1069
01:03:40,666 --> 01:03:42,316
And they got pictures of me.
1070
01:03:52,375 --> 01:03:54,083
The girls had no idea,
1071
01:03:56,375 --> 01:03:58,833
and I have to take
full responsibility for that.
1072
01:03:59,333 --> 01:04:01,400
You know, there were reasons
how it happened,
1073
01:04:01,500 --> 01:04:04,250
um... you know,
my mental health and the drug use.
1074
01:04:04,833 --> 01:04:07,858
From that time on,
1075
01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:13,916
I have had no communication
with the girls.
1076
01:04:18,750 --> 01:04:19,816
This is the hardest thing
1077
01:04:19,916 --> 01:04:22,566
that I struggle with,
to cope with every day.
1078
01:04:39,333 --> 01:04:41,500
It's now 2020 that we're talking about.
1079
01:04:42,666 --> 01:04:44,708
I was in a very toxic situation.
1080
01:04:45,708 --> 01:04:50,500
With everything that was going on,
I was not in a good headspace.
1081
01:04:51,625 --> 01:04:53,708
I started to think about,
1082
01:04:54,583 --> 01:05:01,250
people will be better off
without me being around.
1083
01:05:05,208 --> 01:05:07,566
Late one Sunday afternoon,
1084
01:05:07,666 --> 01:05:09,833
I locked myself in my room.
1085
01:05:11,083 --> 01:05:12,583
And I'd always wondered...
1086
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:21,291
when you got to that point,
1087
01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,875
does the fear of what you're doing
1088
01:05:26,041 --> 01:05:27,608
take over?
1089
01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:29,291
But I had no fear.
1090
01:05:33,625 --> 01:05:36,733
She had her door locked
and I was like, banging on the door,
1091
01:05:36,833 --> 01:05:38,275
trying to get in.
1092
01:05:38,375 --> 01:05:41,525
And then she had, like, a belt
around her neck tied to the door.
1093
01:05:41,625 --> 01:05:43,025
That's when I was, like, screaming at her.
1094
01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:44,400
I was yelling at her.
1095
01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:48,150
And then after that, we just
laid there on the floor in her room,
1096
01:05:48,250 --> 01:05:51,083
crying, talking about everything.
1097
01:05:58,250 --> 01:05:59,833
Initially, um...
1098
01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:04,483
Jada, she gave me a real burst.
1099
01:06:04,583 --> 01:06:07,150
Like, "What the fuck are you doing?"
1100
01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:09,650
Like, "You need help."
1101
01:06:09,750 --> 01:06:10,900
"You need help. You need help."
1102
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,025
"You're mentally sick."
1103
01:06:12,125 --> 01:06:14,316
"You're absolutely
drugged to the eyeballs."
1104
01:06:14,416 --> 01:06:15,791
Um...
1105
01:06:19,625 --> 01:06:20,625
Yeah.
1106
01:06:26,333 --> 01:06:30,191
Just before it all blew up publicly,
1107
01:06:30,291 --> 01:06:33,525
my drug use started to spiral
1108
01:06:33,625 --> 01:06:35,858
and I hated who I was.
1109
01:06:35,958 --> 01:06:39,025
I can honestly sit here
1110
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:43,066
and... say I was crazy.
1111
01:06:43,166 --> 01:06:46,275
You know, I'm on the phone ringing people,
abusing them, sending emails.
1112
01:06:46,375 --> 01:06:48,483
Just... horrendous stuff.
1113
01:06:48,583 --> 01:06:52,000
I ended up getting a call from the police.
1114
01:07:06,708 --> 01:07:09,541
This toxic situation was...
1115
01:07:11,166 --> 01:07:13,625
Somehow, I had to get out of it.
1116
01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:29,041
Um... to try and, um...
1117
01:07:30,416 --> 01:07:31,816
sort out my life.
1118
01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:54,233
We've seen
a dramatic 24 hours
1119
01:07:54,333 --> 01:07:56,733
for the former North Melbourne coach
and premiership player Dean Laidley.
1120
01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:58,500
Former North Melbourne
player and coach Dean Laidley...
1121
01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:01,066
Laidley has also been
charged with drug possession,
1122
01:08:01,166 --> 01:08:04,441
after ice was allegedly found
stashed inside his bra.
1123
01:08:04,541 --> 01:08:06,400
Now, he's in a holding cell.
1124
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:10,191
Two photographs showing
Ms. Laidley in a wig and makeup
1125
01:08:10,291 --> 01:08:12,858
were published on social media,
effectively outing her...
1126
01:08:12,958 --> 01:08:15,483
...and a makeup-smeared
mug shot have gone viral.
1127
01:08:21,583 --> 01:08:25,066
So then I find out
I wouldn't get bail,
1128
01:08:25,166 --> 01:08:29,291
and I was put into the top floor,
1129
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,150
into the psychiatric ward.
1130
01:08:35,250 --> 01:08:36,583
Um...
1131
01:08:38,166 --> 01:08:41,691
This is where I felt my absolute lowest,
1132
01:08:41,791 --> 01:08:43,708
when I heard that door...
1133
01:08:45,833 --> 01:08:48,166
um, crash behind me.
1134
01:09:15,416 --> 01:09:18,150
- So, I might start recording.
- Mm.
1135
01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:20,358
It's not easy being you right now,
1136
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:22,625
and you've detailed
a lot of the reasons why.
1137
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,858
But I reckon we do...
1138
01:09:25,958 --> 01:09:28,916
We also need to dwell a little bit on the...
1139
01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:32,166
Not the happy ending, but, like,
1140
01:09:33,333 --> 01:09:35,191
- That'd be--
- The positive things in your life.
1141
01:09:36,416 --> 01:09:38,941
Put the camera over there onto these two,
1142
01:09:39,041 --> 01:09:43,400
because if I didn't have them with me,
1143
01:09:43,500 --> 01:09:47,191
I honestly don't know where I would be.
1144
01:09:47,291 --> 01:09:49,441
You and I, we've tallied it up,
1145
01:09:49,541 --> 01:09:51,275
and I think you're right.
1146
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:54,025
Like, we've spent close to a 100 hours...
1147
01:09:54,125 --> 01:09:55,858
Yeah, clicked over a 100.
1148
01:09:55,958 --> 01:09:57,775
- Wow!
- That's a draft.
1149
01:09:57,875 --> 01:09:59,916
That is, like...
1150
01:10:01,416 --> 01:10:02,900
That's a story.
1151
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,916
That's a story right there.
That's your life.
1152
01:10:06,541 --> 01:10:09,708
- That's a start to finish of your life.
- Wow.
1153
01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:12,233
And then skip to the important part
with me in it.
1154
01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:14,608
If you read the first
page of the book,
1155
01:10:14,708 --> 01:10:16,775
it's to my kids.
1156
01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:22,150
I've had to do a lot of work about
putting myself in their shoes,
1157
01:10:22,250 --> 01:10:24,791
and all the things
that I've spoken about now
1158
01:10:26,291 --> 01:10:31,875
to get a deeper understanding
of how they would feel.
1159
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:34,250
And when the time...
1160
01:10:36,166 --> 01:10:39,066
the time is right, so, when they're ready,
1161
01:10:39,166 --> 01:10:41,583
not when I'm ready, um...
1162
01:10:42,708 --> 01:10:46,708
that I'm the best person that I can be,
1163
01:10:47,666 --> 01:10:51,900
and, you know, I can welcome
them back with open arms,
1164
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,083
um,
1165
01:10:54,125 --> 01:10:58,233
and have that very,
very strong relationship
1166
01:10:58,333 --> 01:11:00,708
that we've had
1167
01:11:02,416 --> 01:11:03,833
since they were babies.
1168
01:11:13,041 --> 01:11:15,875
I remember this house here,
they didn't have any kids.
1169
01:11:16,833 --> 01:11:20,150
Old Chaz here, we played cricket at
the back or out the front,
1170
01:11:20,250 --> 01:11:22,650
and we'd hit the ball over the fence.
1171
01:11:22,750 --> 01:11:25,316
We'd jump over the fence,
and he'd get shitty as hell.
1172
01:11:27,333 --> 01:11:29,816
- Um...
- And it's all knocked down?
1173
01:11:29,916 --> 01:11:31,025
Yeah.
1174
01:11:31,125 --> 01:11:32,083
Yeah.
1175
01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:36,191
And this house here--
1176
01:11:36,291 --> 01:11:37,833
And then we come to this house.
1177
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,000
Wow.
1178
01:11:42,333 --> 01:11:46,316
So you ran out here,
and threw the nail polish here?
1179
01:11:46,416 --> 01:11:47,625
Yeah, in here.
1180
01:11:49,666 --> 01:11:51,833
- Right in there.
1181
01:11:52,958 --> 01:11:55,400
Seems so small compared to...
1182
01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:56,566
I thought it was...
1183
01:11:56,666 --> 01:11:59,441
...what I, what you can remember it.
1184
01:11:59,541 --> 01:12:01,691
I wonder what the toilets look like now.
1185
01:12:03,166 --> 01:12:06,108
There's a big group of us
that decided to wag high school,
1186
01:12:06,208 --> 01:12:07,275
and back in those days,
1187
01:12:07,375 --> 01:12:09,150
the ranger would, you know, drive around,
1188
01:12:09,250 --> 01:12:10,941
and we spotted the ranger,
1189
01:12:11,041 --> 01:12:13,358
so we all ran into the toilets,
1190
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:17,608
and so he proceeded to start to ask
everyone their name and address.
1191
01:12:17,708 --> 01:12:19,441
I thought I was a smart kid,
1192
01:12:19,541 --> 01:12:22,233
but I'm the only one that gave
my real name and address.
1193
01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:26,441
So, I'm the only one that got
called up to the school office
1194
01:12:26,541 --> 01:12:29,066
and banned from the school social.
1195
01:12:29,166 --> 01:12:31,708
- And everybody else gave false names, so.
- Yeah.
1196
01:12:32,458 --> 01:12:34,358
Oh, 'cause we were, like, off and on.
1197
01:12:34,458 --> 01:12:37,483
- Yeah.
- You had all the girls.
1198
01:12:37,583 --> 01:12:39,191
Settle down.
1199
01:12:44,208 --> 01:12:46,775
Danielle and I met
in primary school,
1200
01:12:46,875 --> 01:12:49,275
and we were both left-handed.
1201
01:12:49,375 --> 01:12:52,025
I don't think they knew
what to do with us, actually.
1202
01:12:52,125 --> 01:12:55,358
So we sat next to each other
in grade one, and...
1203
01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:58,191
the love of your life for four days,
and then you'd get dropped.
1204
01:12:58,291 --> 01:13:00,150
And that was off and on throughout
1205
01:13:00,250 --> 01:13:03,041
all of our primary school years
and our high school years.
1206
01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:06,525
And then with footy
and our lives and careers,
1207
01:13:06,625 --> 01:13:07,941
we sort of went in different ways.
1208
01:13:08,041 --> 01:13:12,025
We both got married early
and our lives crossed a few times.
1209
01:13:12,125 --> 01:13:16,650
So it was one of those things that
we would somehow always end up together.
1210
01:13:16,750 --> 01:13:20,900
But I didn't think it would take this long
to finally end up properly together.
1211
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:21,833
Yeah.
1212
01:13:22,833 --> 01:13:26,525
Being arrested,
going to jail, going to rehab.
1213
01:13:26,625 --> 01:13:30,108
I was in there for 20 weeks,
1214
01:13:30,208 --> 01:13:34,941
and so I hadn't had a phone
during that whole period of time.
1215
01:13:35,041 --> 01:13:37,525
And then when I got out,
1216
01:13:37,625 --> 01:13:40,916
there was plenty of messages
from this one.
1217
01:13:43,708 --> 01:13:48,525
I'm just grateful that
I have someone in my life
1218
01:13:48,625 --> 01:13:51,250
who loves me for me.
1219
01:13:52,791 --> 01:13:54,108
Donna has been asked,
1220
01:13:54,208 --> 01:13:57,291
"Oh, so how long have
you liked women for?"
1221
01:13:58,291 --> 01:14:01,066
And whether we both have
a chuckle about that.
1222
01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:04,775
I didn't know
1223
01:14:04,875 --> 01:14:07,775
that I would be interested
1224
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:10,316
in a woman,
1225
01:14:10,416 --> 01:14:12,041
transgender woman,
1226
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:14,775
whatever the case.
1227
01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:18,316
I just knew that
I've always loved this person.
1228
01:14:18,416 --> 01:14:21,941
So, to me, it didn't matter
1229
01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:25,733
whether Dani was male, female,
1230
01:14:25,833 --> 01:14:28,066
lesbian, whatever.
1231
01:14:28,166 --> 01:14:29,041
I just...
1232
01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:33,650
I-I don't understand
what's so hard for people to get,
1233
01:14:33,750 --> 01:14:35,400
that you can just love another human.
1234
01:14:42,208 --> 01:14:45,608
I remember I was the first one
apart from her son, Kane, and lawyers
1235
01:14:45,708 --> 01:14:48,650
to see her in a rehab centre
down in Geelong.
1236
01:14:48,750 --> 01:14:51,191
Well, got to say I was
a little bit nervous, but...
1237
01:14:51,291 --> 01:14:53,441
Because I'd never seen Dani
as a transgender woman.
1238
01:14:53,541 --> 01:14:55,525
She had her head down
and didn't really know
1239
01:14:55,625 --> 01:14:57,275
how I was going to react or whatever,
1240
01:14:57,375 --> 01:14:59,233
but we both just embraced each other.
1241
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,566
I said, "Give me a hug,"
1242
01:15:00,666 --> 01:15:02,650
and we had a big cuddle
and she had a few tears.
1243
01:15:02,750 --> 01:15:06,191
And after she got out of rehab
and we spoke about different things,
1244
01:15:06,291 --> 01:15:09,983
I said, "You're the most courageous person
I think I've ever met,
1245
01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:12,441
now that I understand
what you've been going through."
1246
01:15:15,791 --> 01:15:19,708
I'm incredibly proud
to acknowledge her as a teammate.
1247
01:15:22,083 --> 01:15:24,191
We experienced something very special,
1248
01:15:24,291 --> 01:15:28,358
along with all
of our other teammates in 1996.
1249
01:15:28,458 --> 01:15:31,691
There's a beautiful photo,
and it's Dani's favourite photo,
1250
01:15:31,791 --> 01:15:32,816
and she shared this with me,
1251
01:15:32,916 --> 01:15:34,458
of the moment the siren went.
1252
01:15:38,916 --> 01:15:41,191
And it's such a powerful photo
1253
01:15:41,291 --> 01:15:44,441
because it talks about
the triumph of sport.
1254
01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:47,358
But here are two people, Dani and myself,
1255
01:15:47,458 --> 01:15:49,541
in the middle of our own private battles.
1256
01:15:51,750 --> 01:15:53,750
I'd always wanted to play AFL football.
1257
01:15:54,500 --> 01:15:56,625
I dreamt of winning a Premiership.
1258
01:15:58,458 --> 01:16:00,108
I'd managed to do that
1259
01:16:00,208 --> 01:16:03,291
in the middle
of a four-year suicidal battle.
1260
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,566
I don't carry that sadness now,
1261
01:16:06,666 --> 01:16:09,608
but what more could we have done
for one another
1262
01:16:09,708 --> 01:16:11,666
had we known more about
each other's story?
1263
01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:16,191
Wayne was one
of the first that reached out.
1264
01:16:16,291 --> 01:16:20,275
And I have this beautiful text
which I've kept from him
1265
01:16:20,375 --> 01:16:23,208
about, you know,
we've both had our issues.
1266
01:16:24,583 --> 01:16:25,750
He loves me for me,
1267
01:16:26,791 --> 01:16:29,816
and the world's a better place
with me in it.
1268
01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:36,275
My thought pattern is
that we'll walk over here,
1269
01:16:36,375 --> 01:16:39,566
and then we'll end up on the other side
looking back to where we were.
1270
01:16:39,666 --> 01:16:40,900
You're directing it now, are you?
1271
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:43,108
Because we were on
this side of the centre circle.
1272
01:16:43,208 --> 01:16:45,233
- You don't reckon that's right, Wayne?
1273
01:16:45,333 --> 01:16:46,441
Who do you think you are? Russell Crowe?
1274
01:16:46,541 --> 01:16:48,650
Mate, I'm the leader.
That's why I was the captain.
1275
01:16:49,875 --> 01:16:52,150
You were only a vice-captain.
1276
01:16:52,250 --> 01:16:55,483
I'm starting on this, on the line...
1277
01:16:55,583 --> 01:16:57,525
- I don't know how she remembers this shit.
- Neither do I.
1278
01:16:57,625 --> 01:16:59,316
...and then I come in,
1279
01:16:59,416 --> 01:17:02,416
and the ball gets soccered
out of the middle of the ground,
1280
01:17:02,958 --> 01:17:06,358
and goes through my legs to David King.
1281
01:17:06,458 --> 01:17:07,608
And the siren goes.
1282
01:17:07,708 --> 01:17:09,816
- And there it is.
1283
01:17:09,916 --> 01:17:11,833
North are champions!
1284
01:17:13,791 --> 01:17:15,191
I remember hugging you.
1285
01:17:15,291 --> 01:17:18,483
And then I remember Swatta trying to
get away from us while we're hugging.
1286
01:17:18,583 --> 01:17:20,108
- Yes--
- You remember we were hugging...
1287
01:17:20,208 --> 01:17:21,750
- ...and he was trying to get away.
- He pulled out.
1288
01:17:21,750 --> 01:17:22,858
Who's that?
1289
01:17:22,958 --> 01:17:24,275
- You.
- I didn't!
1290
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:25,691
Yeah, you wanted to get away from us.
1291
01:17:25,791 --> 01:17:27,608
Yeah, 'cause, mate, hey, it's my moment.
1292
01:17:27,708 --> 01:17:30,108
Like, we went in,
we're all in the same vicinity,
1293
01:17:30,208 --> 01:17:32,066
- and all you wanted to do was call out...
- The vision...
1294
01:17:32,166 --> 01:17:33,900
The vision just showed me
pushing you away.
1295
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,691
- Yeah, I know.
1296
01:17:41,125 --> 01:17:43,108
And I think the crowd
that day was, ah...
1297
01:17:43,208 --> 01:17:44,108
Was it 93,000?
1298
01:17:44,208 --> 01:17:46,400
- 94 and a half thousand.
- 94.
1299
01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:49,233
Given the friendship and the history
that we've had along the way,
1300
01:17:49,333 --> 01:17:52,066
but especially over the last
sort of few years,
1301
01:17:52,166 --> 01:17:56,066
it's sort of quite surreal that
the photo that captures the moment,
1302
01:17:56,166 --> 01:17:57,150
we're all in it.
1303
01:17:57,250 --> 01:17:58,416
- Yeah.
- That's right.
1304
01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:03,191
Every time I look
at that, that photo,
1305
01:18:03,291 --> 01:18:05,025
you know, I can hear the siren
1306
01:18:05,125 --> 01:18:07,941
and I can feel the...
1307
01:18:08,041 --> 01:18:11,275
just the emotion of really relief.
1308
01:18:11,375 --> 01:18:14,500
At that point in time at my life,
1309
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,150
the gender dysphoria was roaring.
1310
01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:19,025
It was really interesting back then.
1311
01:18:19,125 --> 01:18:22,191
You know, we'd all muck around and joke,
1312
01:18:22,291 --> 01:18:23,858
and, you know,
1313
01:18:23,958 --> 01:18:26,191
hang shit on each other
and all that sort of stuff,
1314
01:18:26,291 --> 01:18:31,441
but there wasn't the quality
of the depth of conversation to say...
1315
01:18:31,541 --> 01:18:33,108
- Right here, right now
- "How you going?"
1316
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:35,983
We played an environment where
we weren't permitted...
1317
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:37,858
- No.
- ...to show vulnerability.
1318
01:18:37,958 --> 01:18:42,525
We weren't permitted to be soft,
caring, compassionate.
1319
01:18:42,625 --> 01:18:43,900
- We loved each other.
- Yeah.
1320
01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:46,566
But I would go so far as to say
it was superficial love.
1321
01:18:46,666 --> 01:18:47,483
- Yeah.
- Whereas--
1322
01:18:47,583 --> 01:18:48,816
- It was only skin deep.
- Yeah.
1323
01:18:48,916 --> 01:18:52,666
And there it is.
North are champions!
1324
01:18:54,583 --> 01:18:56,291
Oh, so I'm on the ground.
1325
01:18:58,125 --> 01:19:00,983
And what were you doing, Wayne?
What was I doing?
1326
01:19:01,083 --> 01:19:02,941
You were laughing behind me smiling at me.
1327
01:19:03,041 --> 01:19:03,775
- Yeah, yeah.
- Was I?
1328
01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:05,858
Thinking I'm gonna come in to Swatta
and give him a headlock?
1329
01:19:08,833 --> 01:19:10,775
Righty-o, hey. Ready? Hands up.
1330
01:19:10,875 --> 01:19:11,958
Ready? Here we go.
1331
01:19:13,541 --> 01:19:15,483
- Well, I was looking at you guys.
- Yeah.
1332
01:19:15,583 --> 01:19:17,608
I was up like this and I was thinking,
1333
01:19:17,708 --> 01:19:19,983
"What the fuck? I got my hands up.
I just want to hug these two."
1334
01:19:20,083 --> 01:19:22,150
- Yeah.
-"Let's celebrate!"
1335
01:19:26,833 --> 01:19:30,275
- Oh, it's beautiful. Good job!
- So good.
1336
01:19:47,375 --> 01:19:50,025
The biggest stars of the AFL
are lining the red carpet
1337
01:19:50,125 --> 01:19:51,691
for the game's night of nights
1338
01:19:51,791 --> 01:19:54,983
as the Brownlow Medal returns to our city.
1339
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:57,775
I was so excited for Dani,
1340
01:19:57,875 --> 01:20:01,525
because I know Dani had gone
as either a coach or a player.
1341
01:20:01,625 --> 01:20:04,816
So to go as Danielle May Laidley,
1342
01:20:04,916 --> 01:20:08,858
done up to the nines and the dress
and the hair and the stylist,
1343
01:20:08,958 --> 01:20:10,816
just felt really, really special.
1344
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:18,150
It's just so grateful to be recognised,
1345
01:20:18,250 --> 01:20:22,108
to be respected, to be supported, um,
1346
01:20:22,208 --> 01:20:24,316
and have a sense of belonging.
1347
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:26,958
And I think that's really important
for the transgender community.
1348
01:20:32,666 --> 01:20:36,400
I thought at times, football may kill me
1349
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:40,775
because of all the things that,
you know, I carried about.
1350
01:20:40,875 --> 01:20:42,500
The fear and the shame and embarrassment.
1351
01:20:43,166 --> 01:20:44,983
There is no doubt,
1352
01:20:45,083 --> 01:20:49,333
no doubt, that certainly
the people around me
1353
01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:52,125
and the AFL
1354
01:20:53,250 --> 01:20:56,150
have saved my life.
1355
01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:13,275
So, we face a lot of barriers,
1356
01:21:13,375 --> 01:21:16,358
and we know what community
sporting organisations
1357
01:21:16,458 --> 01:21:18,816
can do within our football family,
1358
01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:21,900
but also, we can be leaders in society,
1359
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,416
and particularly at a community level.
1360
01:21:24,166 --> 01:21:26,691
What Dani did in her journey,
1361
01:21:26,791 --> 01:21:28,566
and how she represents herself now,
1362
01:21:28,666 --> 01:21:30,358
and who she is as the real Dani Laidley,
1363
01:21:30,458 --> 01:21:33,191
I think, has got such
an incredible narrative
1364
01:21:33,291 --> 01:21:36,525
that I think hopefully
gets a few people to open their eyes
1365
01:21:36,625 --> 01:21:38,166
who might not be seeing things so clearly.
1366
01:21:50,708 --> 01:21:52,733
I've never been in here.
I've never been in here before.
1367
01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:04,691
My choice was
to be my authentic self,
1368
01:22:04,791 --> 01:22:09,858
and stay on this Earth
for my children and my loved ones,
1369
01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:12,208
or leave the world in pain.
1370
01:22:12,791 --> 01:22:14,191
I've done a lot of work on myself.
1371
01:22:14,291 --> 01:22:17,958
Now, I feel if I can continue to
1372
01:22:19,500 --> 01:22:22,483
drink the poison of
what's happened in the past,
1373
01:22:22,583 --> 01:22:24,291
it will hold me back.
1374
01:22:24,916 --> 01:22:27,541
Pretty much, that's why I'm here,
to... to tell my story.
1375
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:33,941
My eldest daughter asked
for a copy of the book.
1376
01:22:34,041 --> 01:22:36,066
She's got a very close friend.
1377
01:22:36,166 --> 01:22:38,733
He's going to read it first and tell her.
1378
01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:43,275
So, you know,
that's a big step in, in itself.
1379
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:44,733
Um...
1380
01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:47,733
and I'm... to hear that, I'm very grateful.
1381
01:22:47,833 --> 01:22:49,083
Yeah.
1382
01:22:57,333 --> 01:23:01,625
Dani Laidley
on the sporting fielding again!
1383
01:23:02,791 --> 01:23:05,275
- 40-30.
1384
01:23:05,375 --> 01:23:06,583
I couldn't help it. It was just there.
1385
01:23:07,541 --> 01:23:08,708
Yeah, sorry.
1386
01:23:14,625 --> 01:23:17,125
Donna and I would spend
very little time apart.
1387
01:23:18,250 --> 01:23:20,608
We've set ourselves
1388
01:23:20,708 --> 01:23:24,316
to enjoy this period of time
1389
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,625
and have fun.
1390
01:23:30,958 --> 01:23:33,941
Letting people see us out and about,
1391
01:23:34,041 --> 01:23:38,316
and seeing that we are happy,
and we are in love,
1392
01:23:38,416 --> 01:23:40,733
and we are living our life,
1393
01:23:40,833 --> 01:23:43,733
but we also then like to retreat
1394
01:23:43,833 --> 01:23:46,416
and have that really good
balance of our life.
1395
01:23:46,958 --> 01:23:49,775
We've got a cheers!
1396
01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:52,316
- And then I never heard from you again.
1397
01:23:52,416 --> 01:23:56,733
It's hard to explain how very special
1398
01:23:56,833 --> 01:23:58,875
Dani is to me and always has been.
1399
01:23:59,416 --> 01:24:01,900
I always feel loved and safe,
1400
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:04,941
and I've never had that.
1401
01:24:05,041 --> 01:24:06,041
Never.
1402
01:24:15,625 --> 01:24:18,708
Yeah. I think when Dad asked me, um,
1403
01:24:19,750 --> 01:24:22,650
everything was still a bit raw.
1404
01:24:22,750 --> 01:24:24,608
As time's gone on,
1405
01:24:24,708 --> 01:24:28,291
and I've seen Dad flourish into
the person that she is today,
1406
01:24:28,916 --> 01:24:32,941
I've really just wanted to say,
yeah, how proud I am
1407
01:24:33,041 --> 01:24:36,375
of how far that she's come,
and "That's my dad."
1408
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:41,250
It's family. Like, the bond is pretty much
unbreakable at this point.
1409
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:44,733
Our roles have reversed
1410
01:24:44,833 --> 01:24:48,066
about who's the mentor
and who's giving counsel,
1411
01:24:48,166 --> 01:24:49,900
you know, through his life.
1412
01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:53,858
If I was ever juggling something,
I would ring him
1413
01:24:53,958 --> 01:24:55,750
and we would talk it through.
1414
01:24:56,416 --> 01:24:58,608
And that's one of Kane's great qualities,
1415
01:24:58,708 --> 01:25:00,191
to be able to do that.
1416
01:25:03,041 --> 01:25:06,525
The biggest hope for
the future for Danielle and I
1417
01:25:06,625 --> 01:25:10,733
would be to have all of our family
at a barbecue
1418
01:25:10,833 --> 01:25:13,566
with all the grandkids running around.
1419
01:25:13,666 --> 01:25:16,983
The Brady Bunch all together.
1420
01:25:17,083 --> 01:25:18,958
So, it's a big hope,
1421
01:25:20,541 --> 01:25:23,858
but you always got to believe
it will happen.
1422
01:25:29,125 --> 01:25:30,941
A very warm
and colourful welcome
1423
01:25:31,041 --> 01:25:34,483
to the inaugural Virgin Australia
Perth to Sydney Pride Flight.
1424
01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:42,566
Going through what I have,
it's been difficult at times.
1425
01:25:42,666 --> 01:25:45,858
And it's not "woe is me"
by any stretch of the imagination.
1426
01:25:45,958 --> 01:25:47,191
I've had a wonderful life.
1427
01:25:57,500 --> 01:26:00,983
The word "transition",
it brings up a connotation
1428
01:26:01,083 --> 01:26:03,066
of there is a finishing line.
1429
01:26:03,166 --> 01:26:06,650
And I think evolving and growing
1430
01:26:06,750 --> 01:26:11,108
is a much better description of that.
1431
01:26:15,250 --> 01:26:16,583
I will be me.
1432
01:26:17,333 --> 01:26:19,858
And now the acceptance in that,
1433
01:26:19,958 --> 01:26:23,941
and being the best person that I can be,
1434
01:26:24,041 --> 01:26:27,650
then the rest will take care of itself,
1435
01:26:27,750 --> 01:26:29,625
some things quicker than others.
1436
01:26:31,416 --> 01:26:35,291
And you learn to deal with those things
as you go along.
1437
01:26:37,416 --> 01:26:40,775
But within myself,
I feel great and at peace,
1438
01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:42,375
and I feel like I'm home.
1439
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:19,941
♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪
1440
01:27:20,041 --> 01:27:21,150
♪ I think I'm ready ♪
1441
01:27:21,250 --> 01:27:26,275
♪ And I'm, I'm out of the wind ♪
1442
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:28,858
♪ So catch my wings ♪
1443
01:27:28,958 --> 01:27:30,275
♪ I'm ready to go ♪
1444
01:27:30,375 --> 01:27:31,816
♪ I think I'm ready ♪
1445
01:27:31,916 --> 01:27:33,483
♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪
1446
01:27:33,583 --> 01:27:34,983
♪ I think I'm ready ♪
1447
01:27:35,083 --> 01:27:39,900
♪ And I'm at the edge of the cliff ♪
1448
01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:42,191
♪ So let's begin ♪
1449
01:27:42,291 --> 01:27:43,983
♪ I think I'm ready to go ♪
1450
01:27:44,083 --> 01:27:45,566
♪ I think I'm ready ♪
106312
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