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1
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BABY MAKES
UH, THREE
2
00:00:16,271 --> 00:00:18,715
- Fix the picture, dude.
- I'm trying.
3
00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:24,030
Come on, dude,
we're missing it.
4
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:26,945
Got it.
5
00:00:26,969 --> 00:00:31,222
- You're doing great, honey.
- Come on, one more big push.
6
00:00:39,446 --> 00:00:41,814
I love you so much, honey.
7
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:51,291
Hey Butt-Head,
the TV is out of focus.
8
00:00:51,648 --> 00:00:54,239
Focus, focus,
ass wipe.
9
00:00:55,834 --> 00:01:00,497
- What's Bono's problem?
- Yeah, what's Boner's problem?
10
00:01:03,127 --> 00:01:05,121
Black and white sucks.
11
00:01:07,841 --> 00:01:12,636
- Whoa! That's a big dog!
- That's a buffalo, dumbass.
12
00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,253
They should shoot it.
13
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,079
That would be cool.
14
00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:22,597
Yeah, like that movie
"Dancing With Wolves".
15
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Ahni.
16
00:01:37,253 --> 00:01:38,515
Weehee.
17
00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,052
Ogee.
18
00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:41,682
Oohni.
19
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Oohni.
20
00:01:45,154 --> 00:01:49,432
- Is this, like, a quiz?
- This is like school.
21
00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:53,832
Push th' little daisies and
make 'em come up.
22
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,291
Push th' little daisies and
make 'em come up.
23
00:01:58,019 --> 00:02:01,085
That's not funny.
Dumbass.
24
00:02:05,632 --> 00:02:07,239
Is this art?
25
00:02:09,244 --> 00:02:10,856
This means something.
26
00:02:12,051 --> 00:02:15,286
Yeah, it means
something stupid.
27
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,009
Joey Buttafuoco.
28
00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:38,421
You said "Buttafuoco".
29
00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:44,018
Hey Beavis, what do you
think "Buttafuoco" means?
30
00:02:50,427 --> 00:02:52,305
He said "back door".
31
00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:00,058
Dude looks like a lady.
32
00:03:05,763 --> 00:03:08,753
This is the coolest video
I've ever seen in my life.
33
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:27,870
Cool!
34
00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:43,587
Beavis,
I thought you were daddy's little cutie.
35
00:03:44,405 --> 00:03:46,160
Shut up, bunghole!
36
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,275
Yes!
37
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:07,165
Check it out, she is pissed.
She hates it.
38
00:04:17,873 --> 00:04:21,184
Everybody thinks babies are cute.
Cute!
39
00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:25,367
Well, they are not so damn cute when
they are yours. I tell you that right now.
40
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,690
Crapping and puking all over you.
41
00:04:27,714 --> 00:04:31,178
They cost a damn fortune to feed
and clothe and all they end up doing is
42
00:04:31,202 --> 00:04:35,087
making you miserable, like you people
are doing to your parents right now!
43
00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:37,894
It's time that you
teen pregnancy candidates
44
00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:40,330
learn a thing or two
about responsibility.
45
00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:43,391
Does anybody know what this is?
46
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,232
Half his wife's butt?
47
00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:51,453
It is a baby.
And everybody is getting one.
48
00:04:51,477 --> 00:04:55,034
I have divided the class into
male/female pairs.
49
00:04:55,058 --> 00:04:59,634
And every couple gets one of these for
a week of nurturing and cooperation.
50
00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:02,496
Everywhere you go
you take it with you.
51
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,629
If you can not take it with you,
you arrange for a sitter.
52
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,311
Is that clear!?
53
00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:10,815
Mr. Buzzcut?
Mr. Buzzcut?
54
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,284
Yes, Butt-Head.
55
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:16,326
I can't do the assignment.
I'm diatetic.
56
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:24,930
I'm sure you mean diabetic, Butt-Head.
And you will do this assignment.
57
00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:28,084
Each couple keeps a journal of its
activities with the baby.
58
00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,142
Any gaps - you fail.
59
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:34,857
Any mistakes - you fail.
Any damage to the baby - you fail.
60
00:05:34,881 --> 00:05:37,979
And if you fail this project,
you fail the course,
61
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:42,373
because having a child is a pass/
fail situation, people.
62
00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:45,483
There's the list of partners,
find yours and get a baby.
63
00:05:45,507 --> 00:05:47,150
Is that clear?
64
00:05:48,538 --> 00:05:50,529
Hey, it says my partner is Butt-Head.
65
00:05:50,553 --> 00:05:53,487
Yes, I making an exception
in your case.
66
00:05:53,511 --> 00:05:55,061
All right!
67
00:05:57,381 --> 00:06:01,597
Every girl in the class asked me privately
not to be paired with either of you.
68
00:06:01,621 --> 00:06:03,921
So, I thought this was
the best solution.
69
00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:08,504
Besides, with homosexual couples
increasingly adopting babies,
70
00:06:08,528 --> 00:06:11,528
this will making our situation
even more realistic.
71
00:06:11,974 --> 00:06:14,120
Do you find that amusing, Butt-Head?
72
00:06:14,977 --> 00:06:16,572
One week from today.
73
00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:21,465
We all meet back here with our sugar
babies and our journals. Is that clear?
74
00:06:22,194 --> 00:06:24,700
Good luck and good parenting, people.
75
00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:30,929
I don't know how to take care of a baby.
What do you do?
76
00:06:31,327 --> 00:06:33,365
Hey, let's give it a bath.
77
00:06:37,143 --> 00:06:40,861
I'm gonna slap you around like
a redheaded stepchild.
78
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,212
You drowned it, dude.
79
00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:51,558
We'll never get to see it grow up.
80
00:07:03,372 --> 00:07:06,617
- Aerobics suck.
- Yeah.
81
00:07:11,011 --> 00:07:13,014
What the hell is this crap?
82
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:19,529
This sucks.
83
00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:28,539
- It's "Curly" from the Three Stooges.
- Yeah.
84
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:38,479
Hey Beavis, check this out:
"somewhere that he never should have been".
85
00:07:38,503 --> 00:07:41,968
- He looks like a zombie.
- Yeah.
86
00:07:45,821 --> 00:07:49,014
"Thunder rolls".
87
00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:54,761
What ever happened to country songs
about whiskey drinking and butt kicking?
88
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:59,922
Yeah. They should have, like, Ice Cube
come out and start kicking this guy.
89
00:08:00,155 --> 00:08:04,267
Yeah.
Then this video would be cool.
90
00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:11,770
Whoa! Come on, show it!
91
00:08:12,817 --> 00:08:15,557
This sucks,
they never show the good stuff.
92
00:08:16,269 --> 00:08:18,188
I hate sitcoms.
93
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:26,325
"And so, it is with utmost regret,
94
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:30,992
that I must report that our baby was
stolen by gypsies in the night".
95
00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:34,514
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
96
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:40,355
And it is with equal regret that
I must report that you boys both fail!
97
00:08:40,379 --> 00:08:44,173
Not only fail, but fail more
miserably than any student
98
00:08:44,197 --> 00:08:46,397
I have ever had the
misfortune to teach!
99
00:08:54,571 --> 00:08:57,465
What the hell.
It was fine this morning.
100
00:08:57,713 --> 00:08:59,963
Damn catalytic converter.
101
00:09:00,828 --> 00:09:03,129
What is your major malfunction!?
102
00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:04,903
Why are you sputtering?
103
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,068
What's that noise?
104
00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:25,588
Is this like that movie,
Beyond Superdome?
105
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:29,367
Yeah, that was cool.
106
00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:36,599
How come all these videos
have cages in them?
107
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:38,708
Because they're cool.
108
00:09:46,665 --> 00:09:50,209
This is like a zoo.
Where they keep cool people.
109
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,360
Yeah.
110
00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:06,555
Hey Beavis,
do you have a Nine Inch Nail?
111
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:24,736
This is pretty cool.
112
00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:29,035
Yeah,
nails are cool.
113
00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:37,206
That guy is pulling his rope.
8567
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