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BALLOON
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- Hey Beavis.
- What?
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What does the president of the
United States
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think about,
when he goes to the bathroom?
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Does he, like, think about world problems?
Like the infra sculpture?
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Does he, like, have a phone and
call up other presidents?
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What's so funny?
8
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What's so funny, dude?
9
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The president of the
United States pinching a loaf.
10
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Yeah,
that was cool.
11
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Hey Beavis, he's got your hair.
12
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Hey, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
13
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Tattoos are cool.
14
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Yeah. I'm gonna get one.
15
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You could have "I am a puss"
tattooed on your butt.
16
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Shut up, Butt-Head!
17
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Anthony Kiedis is cool.
18
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,786
- These guys get all the chicks.
- Yeah.
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Flea is cool.
20
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Hey, I can do that.
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That's cool.
22
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I saw pictures of these guys and
they had socks on their penises.
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That would be cool.
24
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Hey, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
25
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This guy looks like a mass murderer.
26
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:31,067
Yeah.
He looks kinda like you.
27
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This guy is supposed to be better than
the Beatles and Elvis.
28
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Yeah.
He's not as cool as Metallica, though.
29
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Why does he keep looking up?
30
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- This dude sounds like he was neutered.
- Yeah.
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This is satanic country music.
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Yeah,
I feel like killing myself.
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Even something as fun and innocent
as helium balloons
34
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can cause a deadly threat to our
deep sea friends.
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Think she is a diver?
36
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Ask your mom.
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Choad smoker.
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The wind blows these balloons out to sea,
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where cute little baby dolphins can
swallow them and choke to death.
40
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Cool!
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It's so tragic,
to see these innocent creatures
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murdered by a party favor.
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Happy birthday, Flipper.
44
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Here you are, boys. What's the occasion?
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- It's, uhh... It's like a gag.
- Yeah.
46
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Hey Butt-Head, let's breathe some gas.
47
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Go for it, dude.
48
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I don't feel nothing.
49
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- What's wrong with your voice, dude?
- What's wrong with yours?
50
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- Oh, no!
- We're neutered!
51
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- This is gonna be cool.
- Yeah.
52
00:04:34,618 --> 00:04:39,466
And now, here's a routine made
famous by the Harlem Globetrotters.
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Give me the slingshot.
54
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- Butt-Head! Butt-Head!
- Whoa, cool.
55
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Help! Butt-Head, help!
I'm stuck! This sucks!
56
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- This sucks, help!
- Can I have your skateboard?
57
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Shoot me down, ass wipe!
This sucks!
58
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Sorry, dude.
59
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Thank you dolphins!
60
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Now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's hammerhead time!
61
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That's right!
Synchronized scavaging by
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our lovely intelligent
hammerhead sharks.
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Help Butt-Head! I can't swim!
This sucks!
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Whoa, cool.
65
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Attention! Attention!
Someone has polluted the water!
66
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This could endanger the
life of the young sharks...
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Evacuate
the shark tank immediately.
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Yes!
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00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:01,743
- This chick is hot.
- Oh yeah?
70
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Would you make out with her?
-Yeah, I'd be all over it.
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Really?
72
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- That's a guy, Beavis.
- No way.
73
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You wanna make out with a dude.
74
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He's got a nice butt, huh, Beavis?
75
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Shut up, Butt-Head!
76
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- Ooh, he is sexy, huh, Beavis?
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
77
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Boing, boing, boing, boing,
bo-bo-boing, boing, boing, boing.
78
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That was cool.
79
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Those fish are swimming in the air.
80
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Whoa! Those fish are peeing on him.
81
00:07:40,435 --> 00:07:42,437
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
82
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I wish I had lips on my hand.
83
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:22,498
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.
84
00:08:26,742 --> 00:08:29,587
- Fish baseball.
- Yeah.
85
00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:34,754
- Hey Beavis.
- Yeah?
86
00:08:34,802 --> 00:08:37,198
Can I ask your a
personal question?
87
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Go for it, dude.
88
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Did you pee in the pool 'cause you
were smart or 'cause you were scared?
89
00:08:44,702 --> 00:08:47,244
No dude, 'cause it feels good.
90
00:08:47,802 --> 00:08:50,740
Yeah. That's why I always pee in the pool.
91
00:08:51,711 --> 00:08:52,949
Yeah.
92
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:06,988
All right!
93
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,888
Angus Young is cool.
94
00:09:17,921 --> 00:09:20,646
Yeah, Malcolm is cool too.
95
00:09:26,263 --> 00:09:30,857
- That drummer is old.
- Shut up, fartknocker, he's cool.
96
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:41,392
- Did Phil Rudd die?
- No, peckerwood, that was Bon Scott.
97
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,008
Oh yeah.
He was cool.
98
00:09:52,295 --> 00:09:55,264
- That guy is special.
- Yeah.
99
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:13,163
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.
100
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,913
- Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.
- Sing it, Beavis.
101
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Dirty deeds are cool.
102
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:28,794
Hey Beavis, have you
ever done a dirty deed?
103
00:10:28,818 --> 00:10:32,003
Yeah,
I spanked my monkey one time.
104
00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:36,368
These guys always
wear the same clothes.
105
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That's cool.
106
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,558
Hey, we always wear
the same clothes.
107
00:10:45,697 --> 00:10:50,866
- I had this shirt on for six months.
- I had this on for seven months.
108
00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:12,779
Hey look, she's running away
from home and she's only thirty.
109
00:11:12,859 --> 00:11:14,525
Yeah, yeah.
110
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Girls, girls, girls, girls.
111
00:11:31,445 --> 00:11:32,679
Yeah.
112
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He touched her butt.
113
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She's a hooker.
114
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- His daughter is a hooker.
- Yeah.
115
00:11:57,892 --> 00:12:00,642
- She's singing to the homeless.
- Yeah.
116
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- Hey Beavis, what are the homeless?
- I don't know.
117
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She's shaking her boobs.
118
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:26,235
- Hey Beavis, this video tells a story.
- Yeah, I'm pitching a tent.
119
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:29,171
This story sucks.
120
00:12:30,013 --> 00:12:31,301
Change it.
121
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:34,956
Check it out.
122
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It's that fat guy from that show.
123
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Which one is Tito?
124
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That was cool.
125
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If he keeps touching himself
he is gonna break his other hand.
126
00:13:11,888 --> 00:13:13,221
Which one is Tito?
127
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Indians are cool.
128
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- Yeah.
- Which one's Tito?
129
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:28,269
No, dude, it's Tonto.
130
00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:34,910
Whoa, she's hot.
131
00:13:45,342 --> 00:13:48,941
- Whoa, those are big babies.
- Yeah.
132
00:13:52,942 --> 00:13:57,394
- I like fire.
- Yeah, fire kicks ass.
133
00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:00,522
I like when they burn stuff.
134
00:14:10,619 --> 00:14:12,990
Check it out, it's that
kid from that movie.
135
00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:17,262
- MacClokin Loclokin.
- Micoly MacClothlin.
136
00:14:18,878 --> 00:14:22,390
- Call me Maclucklin.
- Mike calls him "boy".
137
00:14:28,637 --> 00:14:32,623
- Is his butt the same color as his face?
- Yeah.
138
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That's not real.
10024
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