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1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,726
BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD VS.
THE VENDING MACHINE
2
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,110
I'm hungry. I wish they had
something big, like nachos.
3
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,110
Yeah.
4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,028
We need something
with a lot of ingredients.
5
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:17,232
Like sour cream and
salsa pork rinds.
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,244
Sour cream and salsa pork rinds?
Where? Where?
7
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:24,244
Right there, dude.
Bottom row. F2.
8
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,424
Oh yeah!
9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:26,959
Pork!
10
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:33,019
- F-2.
- You sunk my battleship!
11
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:38,489
- Come to Butt-Head!
- Yeah.
12
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,889
Wait a minute.
13
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:45,166
No!
14
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,166
This sucks.
15
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,014
Are those butts in that bottle?
16
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,754
Did you know that, like, every time someone
smokes a cigarette down to the end,
17
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,058
it's like, kissing a butt?
18
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,058
Oh yeah.
19
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,064
That's cool.
20
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,032
- You know what, Beavis?
- No, what?
21
00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:28,573
I don't really feel like
watching this right now.
22
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,774
Yeah, maybe we should, you know,
like, try watching it again later.
23
00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:33,383
Yeah, I thought of that, too.
24
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,229
- You know, if it's on.
- I understand, yeah.
25
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:39,855
But if it's not on... who
gives a rat's ass.
26
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,854
Now what?
27
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,562
Yeah, this isn't much better.
28
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,564
What the hell is this?
29
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,400
That's that dude who would,
like, rather be a girl.
30
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,306
I wonder why that chick's
hanging out with him?
31
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,507
I don't know.
32
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,748
I don't feel like watching
this either right now.
33
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,453
I don't think I feel like
watching this ever.
34
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,998
Well, I've seen enough, Beavis,
how about you?
35
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,560
Yeah. Let's never
watch this again.
36
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,543
OVER 5 ZILLION BICYCLES
ARE STOLEN EVERY YEAR
37
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,462
What happened to the sound?
38
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,719
- These guys seem pretty cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
39
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,071
It's like, they kinda remind me of myself.
40
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:36,823
Yeah, right...
41
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:41,450
- You remind me of, like, Urkel!
- Shut up, Butt-Head! I'm cool!
42
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,777
Hey, hey, that's my bike! Remember,
my bike was stolen last week? That's it!
43
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,783
- That's not your bike, Beavis.
- Yeah it is! That's my bike.
44
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,863
That dude ripped off my bike!
45
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,561
Did you lock it?
46
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,135
Maybe not.
47
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,031
These fartknockers
ripped off my bike!
48
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,436
Dammit Beavis,
that's not your bike!
49
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,413
That's my bike, Butt-Head,
how do you know?
50
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,944
Because, Beavis,
I stole your bike.
51
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,112
It was cool.
52
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:17,519
No way, Butt-Head! You didn't steal my
bike, you just got a new one last week.
53
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,553
It looks just like mine.
54
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,225
Okay, Beavis.
You're stupid.
55
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,328
You know what else, someone stole
five bucks from me last week.
56
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,037
Hey Beavis, since you don't
have that bike anymore...
57
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,742
can I like, have your lock?
58
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,744
I guess.
59
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:49,176
- I'll give you five bucks for it.
- Okay.
60
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,646
Dumbass.
61
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,092
Hurry up, Butt-Head.
I'm really hungry.
62
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,628
I'm, like, starving.
63
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,934
There's, like, a trap door
that won't let me get it.
64
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:13,439
Give me the pork rinds now!
I'll kick your ass!
65
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:20,543
That sucks! This glass must be,
like, plastic or something.
66
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,650
The vending machine
stole our money.
67
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,260
And it didn't give us our food.
68
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:33,006
Well, there's nothing
I can do to help you.
69
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,543
You gotta write to the
company that owns the machine.
70
00:04:35,544 --> 00:04:37,463
There's an address on the side.
71
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,331
Hey Beavis, I just thought of something.
72
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:46,735
Whoever buys the next pork rinds
is gonna get our bag, plus another one.
73
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,837
Cool! Yeah. Let's wait 'till they come
and then kick their ass.
74
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,143
No, dumbass.
75
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,061
I mean, like, if we get
another sixty cents,
76
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,880
we could, like,
get two for the price of one.
77
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,401
Two for the price of one?
78
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,024
That would be cool.
79
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,190
Yeah.
80
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,572
Okay, I'm gonna go,
like, get sixty cents.
81
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,493
Don't leave here until I get back.
82
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,597
And make sure nobody,
like, buys anything.
83
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,069
Cool.
You mean, like, gas, too?
84
00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:18,026
No, fartknocker,
I mean the vending machine.
85
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,201
Oh, oh yeah, yeah.
86
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,001
Vending machine.
87
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,008
- Hey, how's it going?
- Hi.
88
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,461
Going to the bathroom, huh?
89
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:58,138
I need, like, sixty cents 'cause my
friend's, like, starving and stuff.
90
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,914
Oh really? Well, where is your friend?
91
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,089
He's like, overseas or something.
92
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,595
- I've seen those commercials.
- Yeah.
93
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,387
Me too.
94
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,493
It's so sad.
95
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,630
Here you go.
96
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:24,632
No, I said I need sixty cents, buttmunch.
97
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,503
That's okay.
I don't mind giving a little more.
98
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:30,612
Ok.
99
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,309
Yes?
100
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,320
I thought you said you were
gonna give me some more?
101
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:44,703
Plop!
102
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,126
- Now, where's that dime?
- No way, asswipe!
103
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,131
Damn it, boy,
what in the hell is your problem?
104
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,268
Sorry about that.
It's, like, out of order.
105
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,204
And... and I'd hate to see you
waste your money and stuff.
106
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:05,574
Well, all right then.
They ought to put a sign up there.
107
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:10,063
- Now, what about getting my money back?
- You have to write to the company.
108
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,416
The address is on the side.
Thank you, drive through.
109
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,921
I need, like, change or something.
110
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,525
Well, you gotta buy something.
111
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,596
Whoa! Nachos!
112
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,031
How much?
113
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,520
All I got is some stuff
left over from last night.
114
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,941
I was gonna throw them out
but... name your price.
115
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,105
Ten cents?
116
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,411
- Okay, you got a deal.
- Cool.
117
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,818
Give me, like, a dozen.
118
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,468
Whoa! There's, like,
a mouth in those pants!
119
00:08:04,468 --> 00:08:05,499
Yeah.
120
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,906
I think it's your mom.
121
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,092
Really?
I don't think that's her, Butt-Head.
122
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,762
Well... your mom's a road slut.
123
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,024
Yeah, but not with Mötley Crüe.
She like, hangs out with bands
124
00:08:18,025 --> 00:08:20,100
like, you know, Foghat and stuff.
125
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,883
She's a slut!
126
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:25,585
Yeah. My mom's a slut!
127
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,898
Is that that
Howard Stern dude singing?
128
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,635
That's that dude
with the tiny wiener.
129
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,398
Hooligan's Holiday...
130
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,648
- Bennigan's holiday?
- I thought they were open all the time.
131
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,320
Someday, like, when I'll have a lot of
money, I'm gonna go eat at Bennigan's.
132
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:02,359
That would be cool. I heard they got,
like, chicks in referee outfits.
133
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:08,395
If they'd just got rid of all these damn
words, it would be pretty cool.
134
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,812
There's like, some cool
stuff they talk about here,
135
00:09:11,813 --> 00:09:14,085
but it's like, it's
all happening so fast.
136
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,709
You gotta be fast Butt-Head,
you gotta be fast, like this...
137
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,172
Cool! Monkey head!
138
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,373
Tattoos are cool!
139
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,782
That wasn't very good, Butt-Head.
Check it out. Check it out there's a snake!
140
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,015
Snakes are cool, Beavis!
141
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,667
That was cool.
142
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,094
Butt-Head!
143
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,837
Where are you?
Come on, I'm hungry!
144
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,108
I'm, like, gonna die...
of starvation and stuff.
145
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,437
That might be cool.
146
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,100
M&M... M&M!
147
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,229
... like an old friend:
always there.
148
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,912
I couldn't understand it, Chuck,
he said he would be right back,
149
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:16,037
but he just left me standing
by the vending machine.
150
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:21,739
Hey, aren't you forgetting something?
Sour cream and salsa pork rinds!
151
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,378
These nachos rule.
152
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,657
Butt-Head!
11458
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