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BUTT IS IT ART?
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Now, class, when we went on
our field trip to the zoo,
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00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,916
there was a lot
of goofing around.
4
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:26,287
Now, I know when we come face-to-face
with these magnificent wild beasts,
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00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:29,352
the wilderness within us
yearns to respond.
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00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,827
But this is an
art museum, people.
7
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,664
We can't have that kind
of behavior here.
8
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:45,507
Now, the works we'll see
here took years of careful crafting.
9
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,538
If they're tampered with
in even the tiniest way...
10
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,880
...their beauty is ruined
and the meaning is lost.
11
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,248
Now, this is exactly what
I'm talking about, people.
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00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,860
This sculpture couldn't
depict the agonizing horror
13
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:04,195
of modern society so perfectly
14
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,928
if every little thing
weren't just so.
15
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,565
He said "little thing".
16
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,700
Yeah.
17
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,233
Little thing.
18
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,044
Nirvana rules.
19
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,316
This is cool!
20
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,516
But, I mean, you know, this is
cool and everything, but it's like,
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this video's been giving
me nightmares, Butt-Head.
22
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,453
Cool!
23
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:40,863
I wish I had nightmares about this video.
24
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,571
No you don't, Butt-Head,
these are pretty scary.
25
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:49,600
It's like, I had this dream that I'm, like,
Santa Claus, and I'm, like, on a cross,
26
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,577
and there's these crows,
like, picking at me.
27
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,578
That's cool!
28
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,912
This part rules.
29
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,316
Rock! ROCK!
30
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:14,767
Hey Beavis.
31
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,762
You know the bass player in this
band? He looks like just a regular guy.
32
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:19,962
Oh yeah, yeah.
33
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,858
If you just saw him at
school, he'd probably,
34
00:02:21,859 --> 00:02:23,309
like, you know,
get his ass kicked.
35
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,336
Yeah.
36
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:31,043
Check this out. It's like, he
pulls his hair out of his eyes,
37
00:02:31,044 --> 00:02:33,917
but then it just
falls back in his eyes.
38
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:37,318
Yeah? So what? You got a problem with that?
39
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,852
Yeah.
40
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,098
Whoa, check it out! That room is cool.
41
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,571
- Yeah.
- I think that's Kurt Cobain's bedroom.
42
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I'm gonna get my room set up like that,
with all, like, lit-up stars and stuff,
43
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,668
and then, like, it's gonna be cool.
44
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,413
No you're not!
45
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,679
You're never gonna get your
room fixed up like that,
46
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,215
- and you're never gonna score.
- Shut up!
47
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:10,586
You're just gonna sit around for the
rest of your life, spanking your monkey.
48
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:14,992
Shut up, Butt-Head! I am too
gonna fix my room up! Butthole!
49
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:26,166
They say great art is difficult
to understand but easy to enjoy.
50
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,296
Hey Beavis...
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00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,509
It's hard but it's
not, like, "hard"?
52
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,447
Very good, Butt-Head,
that's right.
53
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:40,845
Now, works by the master
painters of the century.
54
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,286
He said "Master
painters".
55
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,160
Oh.
56
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,226
Master painting is cool.
57
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,634
Just think of it, people.
Right now we're surrounded
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00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,666
by a Renoir, a Monet and a Picasso.
59
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,013
And yes, even a Dali.
60
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,783
That's not that "Dolly" chick.
61
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:22,487
She doesn't look like that.
She's got really big thingies.
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Like this.
63
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,593
No way Beavis, they're bigger than that.
Check this out.
64
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,002
Oh, yeah-yeah, yeah.
65
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,405
That looks
cool, now.
66
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,639
Yeah.
67
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,386
In the Romantic period,
artists began to celebrate
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00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:51,388
the sumptuous
beauty of the human form,
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00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,583
giving us a vision that's
very uplifting.
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00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,930
Butt naked.
71
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,591
It's uplifting.
72
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,702
Uplifting...
73
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:06,864
Yeah.
74
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,208
This would be cool
to, like, have.
75
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,869
- Like, for the bathroom and stuff?
- Yeah.
76
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,483
Hold it right there.
77
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,786
You see that rope,
boy?
78
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,985
You know, I could have you arrested
for standing behind that rope.
79
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,691
Yeah, dumbass.
80
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,389
Now, you
got a choice.
81
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,598
You got two seconds to get back
on this side of the rope,
82
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,596
or I slap the
handcuffs on you.
83
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,734
Oh yeah, sorry about that.
84
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,102
That's what I thought.
85
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:57,117
Most of the artists who did these
paintings passed away some time ago.
86
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:01,954
So their value is immeasurable
because they're impossible to replace.
87
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:07,565
Now, most of the Impressionists passed away
sometime in the early part of the century.
88
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,097
Now, if you look at some
of the older paintings...
89
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,000
Art is cool.
90
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,305
Boobs are cool, too.
91
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,183
Are those, like, statues?
92
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:32,082
I don't think so. I think
statues, like, stay still.
93
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:36,460
I think these are just, like, wussies.
94
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:41,900
Oh yeah. If I was a statue, I'd be, like,
naked, and I'd be, like, riding a horse,
95
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,235
and I'd have a big sword.
Yeah, that would be cool.
96
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,801
And then, like, pigeons
would sit on your wiener.
97
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:55,838
Oh yeah, and then they'd,
like, take a dump on my nads.
98
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,165
Look at the nostrils on that wuss.
99
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,395
Yeah, yeah.
100
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,561
- Really.
- It looks like a human butthole.
101
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:24,569
I think it looks like... like,
like a horse butthole.
102
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,807
Yeah, actually now that you mention it,
103
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,472
it does look like a horse butthole.
104
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,184
This must be, like, a place in heaven
where they put you if you, like, suck
105
00:07:38,185 --> 00:07:40,180
but you didn't do anything really bad.
106
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:43,528
Yeah but, like, isn't it bad to suck?
107
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,724
Yeah, I guess so.
108
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,328
"Thou shalt not suck".
109
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,813
That some psychotic
would vandalize
110
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,044
these great works of art
is simply unconscionable.
111
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,747
I'm sorry it had to happen on
the day we were at the museum.
112
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,448
But I hope, like me,
you were still able to have
113
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,151
a beautiful experience that
you'll never forget.
114
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:17,289
Why don't we each tell what impressions
we took away from the museum. Cassandra?
115
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,800
I took away a feeling
of deep inner joy,
116
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,464
a feeling of something
larger than life filling me.
117
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,004
Hey Butt-Head,
what did you take away?
118
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,509
One giant boob.
119
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,278
That's pretty cool. But check this out.
120
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,451
What's that?
121
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,681
It's a butt.
122
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,619
Cool.
123
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,397
Whoa, check it out
Butt-Head! It's a Penisaurus!
124
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:57,626
Yeah.
125
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,633
It's a Penisaurus Rex.
126
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,570
And this guy is just a wuss.
127
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,711
Yeah, yeah. I heard that,
like, back in medieval days
128
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,648
they used to, like, walk people
in a cage for, like, sucking.
129
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:15,853
Yeah.
130
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,254
That was back in the 50s,
131
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,350
when they knew how
to deal with wussies.
132
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:26,095
That chick is gonna see a monster too.
133
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,570
Dammit Beavis! I bet you can't go
five minutes without talking about, like,
134
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,663
wieners, or boobs, or butts.
135
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,772
I can do that. I bet you couldn't do it.
136
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,576
Yeah I can, check this out.
137
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,580
Hey Butt-Head. I bet you...
138
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,481
Nevermind.
139
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,423
Do you think he's got a...
140
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,604
Nevermind.
141
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,304
Hey Butt-Head, we can
talk about nads, right?
142
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,313
I guess.
143
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,312
Nads.
144
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,226
I won Beavis, gimme a dollar.
145
00:10:21,227 --> 00:10:24,398
No way Butt-Head, you said we couldn't
talk about boobs and wieners and butts!
146
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,225
You didn't say anything 'bout nads!
147
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,252
No, I said "boobs and
wieners and butts and stuff".
148
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,924
Nads is, like, stuff.
149
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,962
Oh yeah.
11309
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