Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,171 --> 00:00:01,919
The Enterprise is preparing
2
00:00:01,922 --> 00:00:06,180
to leave Beta III in star system C-111.
3
00:00:06,183 --> 00:00:09,031
Sociologist Lindstrom
is remaining behind
4
00:00:09,034 --> 00:00:11,320
with a party of experts
who will help restore
5
00:00:11,323 --> 00:00:14,823
the planet's culture to a human form.
6
00:00:14,825 --> 00:00:16,324
The Late Landru, Captain.
7
00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:18,193
A marvelous feat of engineering.
8
00:00:18,195 --> 00:00:20,495
A computer capable
of directing the lives
9
00:00:20,497 --> 00:00:22,064
of millions of human beings.
10
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,875
But only a machine, Mr. Spock.
11
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:26,234
The original Landru programmed
it with all his knowledge,
12
00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:28,629
but he couldn't give it
his wisdom, his compassion,
13
00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:30,585
his understanding, his soul.
14
00:00:30,588 --> 00:00:33,747
I prefer the concrete, the
graspable, the provable.
15
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,912
You'd make a splendid
computer, Mr. Spock.
16
00:00:36,914 --> 00:00:40,082
That is very kind of you, Captain.
17
00:00:40,084 --> 00:00:43,218
That's humorous, because Spock
is half human and half Vulcan.
18
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:45,921
But he's ashamed of his human side.
19
00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:48,195
That's why I identify with him.
20
00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:49,630
Good luck.
21
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,598
I gravitate a little more towards Kirk.
22
00:00:51,601 --> 00:00:53,095
Why?
23
00:00:53,097 --> 00:00:55,163
Be-cause... everything
24
00:00:55,165 --> 00:00:56,798
he says...
25
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,742
he makes sound so im-portant.
26
00:00:59,745 --> 00:01:02,938
I should hope so... He's the captain.
27
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:04,106
Sheldon.
28
00:01:04,108 --> 00:01:05,307
Do me a favor.
29
00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:06,414
Go help your brother study
30
00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:07,750
for his math test tomorrow.
31
00:01:07,753 --> 00:01:09,911
Is that really a good use of my time?
32
00:01:09,913 --> 00:01:11,629
Come on. I'm asking nice.
33
00:01:11,632 --> 00:01:13,960
If he doesn't pass, he won't
be able to play football.
34
00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:16,284
You realize he's often mean to me.
35
00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:19,888
So? Your mother's mean to
me. I still try to be helpful.
36
00:01:19,890 --> 00:01:21,790
Does she break wind on your head?
37
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,925
Because that's what Georgie does to me.
38
00:01:24,762 --> 00:01:26,661
Can you help me out here?
39
00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:32,656
I'll do it if you take
me to the train store.
40
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:33,935
You got it.
41
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:38,773
And buy me whatever I want.
42
00:01:38,776 --> 00:01:40,108
Connie, what are you doing?
43
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:43,067
Just providing my grandson
44
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,289
with financial guidance.
45
00:01:45,292 --> 00:01:47,125
Don't mock the captain.
46
00:01:47,128 --> 00:01:49,696
If Georgie passes his test,
I'll get you whatever you want...
47
00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:51,098
Under 20 bucks.
48
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,109
Deal.
49
00:01:57,261 --> 00:01:59,127
Why?
50
00:01:59,129 --> 00:02:02,234
I guess I like him better than you.
51
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,600
Georgie?
52
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:07,001
- What?
- Dad told me
53
00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:08,898
to help you study for the math test.
54
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,605
I don't need your help. Get lost.
55
00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:12,398
Georgie, let him help you!
56
00:02:12,401 --> 00:02:13,842
Fine. Come in!
57
00:02:16,479 --> 00:02:17,644
Oh, dear.
58
00:02:17,647 --> 00:02:18,847
What's your problem?
59
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,949
No problem. I'll just...
60
00:02:20,951 --> 00:02:23,179
tidy while we talk.
61
00:02:23,182 --> 00:02:24,448
Help yourself.
62
00:02:24,451 --> 00:02:26,217
Before we start, I'd like to get a sense
63
00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,654
- of how much algebra you know.
- 'Kay.
64
00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:31,039
Do you understand solving and graphing
65
00:02:31,042 --> 00:02:33,961
- linear inequalities?
- Sure.
66
00:02:33,964 --> 00:02:36,570
Great. Explain it to me.
67
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,739
Uh...
68
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,375
first you solve 'em...
69
00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,468
and then you graph 'em.
70
00:02:41,471 --> 00:02:43,661
And how do you do that?
71
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,762
Uh, you know,
72
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,174
carefully.
73
00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:48,476
Excuse me.
74
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,437
$20 isn't gonna do it.
75
00:03:06,335 --> 00:03:13,023
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
76
00:03:15,448 --> 00:03:17,982
So you collect all
the terms linear in X.
77
00:03:17,984 --> 00:03:19,317
See? Simple.
78
00:03:19,319 --> 00:03:20,711
Maybe for you.
79
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:22,647
No, it's simple for everybody.
80
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:25,784
Now you collect all
the terms linear in Y.
81
00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:27,242
I don't get it.
82
00:03:27,245 --> 00:03:28,726
Try this. Close your eyes.
83
00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:31,235
- 'Kay.
- Can you see
84
00:03:31,238 --> 00:03:34,666
the slope of the line given
by the coefficients of X and Y?
85
00:03:34,668 --> 00:03:36,534
No.
86
00:03:36,536 --> 00:03:38,203
What do you see?
87
00:03:38,205 --> 00:03:39,566
Darkness.
88
00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:41,001
Try harder.
89
00:03:42,209 --> 00:03:43,341
Wait.
90
00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:46,911
I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini.
91
00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:49,080
Ooh, it just fell off.
92
00:03:49,082 --> 00:03:52,183
- Dad!
- I'll make it $40! Keep going!
93
00:03:52,185 --> 00:03:55,053
Maybe the problem is
you're not a good teacher.
94
00:03:55,055 --> 00:03:58,122
Unlikely. Regardless,
I am your only hope.
95
00:03:58,124 --> 00:04:00,491
What do you see when
you close your eyes?
96
00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:02,827
I see quadrant one as red,
97
00:04:02,829 --> 00:04:04,963
quadrant two is soft and plush...
98
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,966
quadrant three smells like lavender,
99
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:11,302
and quadrant four is overlaid
with a Fibonacci spiral.
100
00:04:11,304 --> 00:04:13,605
That's really weird.
101
00:04:13,607 --> 00:04:16,071
No. What's really weird
is doing simple algebra
102
00:04:16,074 --> 00:04:18,276
and thinking about a girl in a bikini.
103
00:04:18,278 --> 00:04:20,778
I disagree.
104
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:21,846
Dad!
105
00:04:21,848 --> 00:04:23,314
Keep going.
106
00:04:23,316 --> 00:04:26,217
And when you divide
by a negative number,
107
00:04:26,219 --> 00:04:28,653
you have to reverse the
direction of the inequality.
108
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:30,221
I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
109
00:04:30,223 --> 00:04:32,423
But we're not done.
You're going to fail.
110
00:04:32,425 --> 00:04:34,712
I get enough of what
you said. I'll be fine.
111
00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:37,032
It was at that moment I decided
112
00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:39,070
I was not cut out for teaching.
113
00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:40,906
I consoled myself with the knowledge
114
00:04:40,909 --> 00:04:43,477
that I was wonderful at everything else.
115
00:04:44,838 --> 00:04:47,051
Take one and pass it back.
116
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,348
Take one and pass it back.
117
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:51,075
As you all know, this test'll count
118
00:04:51,078 --> 00:04:53,154
for 25% of your final grade.
119
00:04:53,157 --> 00:04:54,924
Be sure to show all your work.
120
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,493
If you get stuck on a question,
121
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,616
move on and come back to it at the end.
122
00:04:58,618 --> 00:05:00,318
And I shouldn't have to say this,
123
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,687
but if there's any
cheating, I will see it.
124
00:05:02,689 --> 00:05:04,989
I got eyes in the back of my head.
125
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,815
I got more eyes than a potato.
126
00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:09,527
Ms. Ingram?
127
00:05:09,529 --> 00:05:11,597
- Yeah, Sheldon.
- I'm done.
128
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,866
What?
129
00:05:12,869 --> 00:05:14,224
I enjoyed it very much.
130
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:15,777
I'll take another if you have one.
131
00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:17,635
No, I don't have another one.
132
00:05:17,637 --> 00:05:20,071
J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
133
00:05:20,073 --> 00:05:21,551
Oh, boy.
134
00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:27,312
Seeing my brother struggle
135
00:05:27,314 --> 00:05:28,980
was difficult for me.
136
00:05:28,982 --> 00:05:32,641
As his tutor, I took
his failure personally,
137
00:05:32,644 --> 00:05:34,519
almost as if I had failed.
138
00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:38,790
Which was odd, because
I knew how dumb he was.
139
00:05:38,792 --> 00:05:41,459
Georgie, how'd you do
on that math test today?
140
00:05:41,461 --> 00:05:42,597
It was tough.
141
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,799
I don't know.
142
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,496
I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
143
00:05:45,498 --> 00:05:46,597
Me, too.
144
00:05:46,599 --> 00:05:48,666
That's all right, baby, you tried.
145
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:50,566
Yeah. It's okay, baby.
146
00:05:52,637 --> 00:05:54,904
I don't understand what went wrong.
147
00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:56,907
Is there any chance you drank alcohol
148
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:58,673
when you were pregnant with Georgie?
149
00:05:58,676 --> 00:05:59,668
No!
150
00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:01,111
Well, don't be so
high-and-mighty.
151
00:06:01,114 --> 00:06:02,847
I drank when I was pregnant with you.
152
00:06:02,849 --> 00:06:04,315
You turned out fine.
153
00:06:04,317 --> 00:06:06,918
These days everybody's like,
"Don't drink, don't smoke."
154
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,980
I swear. Texas is
turning into California.
155
00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:12,933
You realize there's nothing
I can do if you fail.
156
00:06:12,936 --> 00:06:14,092
You're off the team.
157
00:06:14,094 --> 00:06:15,159
I know.
158
00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:16,584
Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus
159
00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:18,688
to help you get a good
grade on that test.
160
00:06:18,691 --> 00:06:22,113
Shouldn't you have asked
him before he took it?
161
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,566
The man rose from the dead...
I think he can fix a test
162
00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:25,777
after the fact.
163
00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,713
You know, I hear you
say things like that,
164
00:06:27,716 --> 00:06:30,574
and I wonder if maybe I did
have a few too many whiskey sours
165
00:06:30,577 --> 00:06:32,010
when you were in my belly.
166
00:06:39,386 --> 00:06:41,629
Not me, but not bad.
167
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:46,090
I would say "A" for effort,
168
00:06:46,092 --> 00:06:48,129
but... that's an "F."
169
00:06:52,065 --> 00:06:54,232
What? How bad is it?
170
00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:55,894
You got a "B."
171
00:06:57,207 --> 00:06:59,003
Are you kidding?
172
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:00,772
I don't believe it.
173
00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:03,105
Me, neither.
174
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:05,710
Me, neither.
175
00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:09,641
So, I guess I have to
rethink my abilities.
176
00:07:09,644 --> 00:07:12,016
Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
177
00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:14,986
Georgie didn't pass because of you.
178
00:07:14,988 --> 00:07:16,587
What do you mean?
179
00:07:16,589 --> 00:07:18,256
He cheated.
180
00:07:18,258 --> 00:07:21,359
He had the answers written
on the bottom of his shoe.
181
00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:23,061
He wouldn't do that.
182
00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:25,630
When you cheat in school,
you only cheat yourself.
183
00:07:25,632 --> 00:07:27,398
Where'd you get that?
184
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,268
An inspirational poster
outside the boys' room.
185
00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,403
I saw what I saw, Sheldon.
186
00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:34,639
Well, if this is true,
187
00:07:34,641 --> 00:07:36,558
he needs to turn himself in.
188
00:07:36,561 --> 00:07:39,410
That'll never happen. He'll
get kicked off the team.
189
00:07:39,412 --> 00:07:40,945
I'm sorry, I can't accept this.
190
00:07:40,947 --> 00:07:43,214
There must be another explanation.
191
00:07:43,216 --> 00:07:45,199
If you don't believe
me, look at his shoes.
192
00:07:45,202 --> 00:07:46,916
I will.
193
00:07:58,898 --> 00:08:01,004
This is quite a workout.
194
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:47,431
You dirty bird.
195
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,592
What are you doing in here?
196
00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:51,769
You cheated.
197
00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:53,251
No, I didn't.
198
00:08:55,775 --> 00:08:58,142
I'm holding the evidence.
199
00:08:58,144 --> 00:09:00,077
Let me see that.
200
00:09:03,071 --> 00:09:04,415
I don't see nothin'.
201
00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:07,178
That's obstruction of justice,
202
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,993
as well as disgusting.
203
00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:12,514
Oh, relax. By passing that
test, I get to play football,
204
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,584
and you get to go to the train store.
205
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:15,927
Everybody wins.
206
00:09:15,929 --> 00:09:17,607
But what about the truth?
207
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:18,930
What about it?
208
00:09:18,932 --> 00:09:21,123
It's supposed to set us free.
209
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,667
Who told you that?
210
00:09:22,669 --> 00:09:24,135
The Bible.
211
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,871
Since when do you care
about what's in the Bible?
212
00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:29,173
When it helps me win an argument.
213
00:09:29,175 --> 00:09:32,397
The Bible also says honor
thy father and thy mother.
214
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,154
And if you open your mouth,
you're gonna make them sad.
215
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,914
He had me.
216
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:40,427
Somehow, the mullet-headed
simpleton had me.
217
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:42,624
This isn't over.
218
00:09:42,627 --> 00:09:44,560
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
219
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:47,814
All right, maybe it's over.
220
00:09:51,531 --> 00:09:53,384
Meemaw?
221
00:10:00,656 --> 00:10:03,223
I assume you've read the
Surgeon General's report
222
00:10:03,226 --> 00:10:04,959
on the dangers of smoking?
223
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:07,512
I'm gonna wait till they
turn it into a movie.
224
00:10:07,514 --> 00:10:09,080
Is that your new train?
225
00:10:09,082 --> 00:10:13,117
Yes. It's my reward for helping
Georgie pass the math test.
226
00:10:13,119 --> 00:10:15,386
You don't seem too happy about it.
227
00:10:15,388 --> 00:10:17,620
I don't feel like I earned it.
228
00:10:17,623 --> 00:10:19,256
Why not?
229
00:10:19,259 --> 00:10:20,725
Can you keep a secret?
230
00:10:20,727 --> 00:10:23,794
Well, at my age, the question
is can I remember one.
231
00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:25,096
Try me.
232
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,100
Georgie cheated on the test.
233
00:10:29,102 --> 00:10:30,601
Oh.
234
00:10:30,603 --> 00:10:32,178
And nothing bad happened.
235
00:10:32,181 --> 00:10:33,638
He gets to stay on the football team,
236
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,010
Mom and Dad are proud of him,
237
00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:36,545
I even got a train for helping.
238
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,335
So you're feeling guilty.
239
00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:41,679
Very much so.
240
00:10:41,681 --> 00:10:44,215
Well, that's a real conundrum.
241
00:10:44,217 --> 00:10:46,527
Have you been reading the
Word of the Day calendar
242
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,152
I gave you for your birthday?
243
00:10:48,155 --> 00:10:50,755
Indubitably.
244
00:10:53,324 --> 00:10:55,024
So what do you think?
245
00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:57,459
I don't think you should
let it bother you very much.
246
00:10:57,461 --> 00:10:59,746
I mean, there's always
gonna be people in this world
247
00:10:59,749 --> 00:11:02,798
who are playing fast
and loose with the rules.
248
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,700
And your brother's one of them.
249
00:11:07,171 --> 00:11:09,225
That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
250
00:11:09,228 --> 00:11:12,174
Well, there you go, and he's,
like, the main guy on that show.
251
00:11:12,176 --> 00:11:14,694
No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
252
00:11:14,697 --> 00:11:17,565
I stand corrected.
253
00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:21,750
Although Kirk is usually the
one who saves the Enterprise.
254
00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:25,120
Because he doesn't
always follow the rules?
255
00:11:25,122 --> 00:11:28,718
He even cheated on a
test when he was a cadet.
256
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,420
The Kobayashi Maru.
257
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,289
The what?
258
00:11:31,292 --> 00:11:32,324
Kobayashi Maru.
259
00:11:32,327 --> 00:11:34,229
Kirk is a legend because of it.
260
00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:37,399
Ko-Kobayashi Maru.
261
00:11:37,401 --> 00:11:40,097
Sounds like something
you eat at Benihana's.
262
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,537
Have you ever been to one of those?
263
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:42,905
They make you sit with strangers.
264
00:11:42,907 --> 00:11:44,171
It's crazy.
265
00:11:46,577 --> 00:11:49,178
Do you think a Spock
could become a Kirk?
266
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:51,480
Well, in my experience,
267
00:11:51,482 --> 00:11:53,916
most people stay the
miserable bastards they are
268
00:11:53,918 --> 00:11:55,251
their whole entire life.
269
00:11:55,253 --> 00:11:56,552
But...
270
00:11:56,554 --> 00:11:58,944
I have seen some folks change.
271
00:12:01,359 --> 00:12:02,725
Hmm.
272
00:12:04,595 --> 00:12:07,463
All right. Well, I'm gonna
go play with this train.
273
00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:09,108
You do that.
274
00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:27,216
Georgie?
275
00:12:27,218 --> 00:12:29,444
- Go away.
- I need to ask a favor.
276
00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:30,580
What?
277
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,655
It's private. Can I come in?
278
00:12:32,657 --> 00:12:34,436
Come on.
279
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,247
Ugh.
280
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:40,749
What do you want?
281
00:12:40,752 --> 00:12:43,364
It occurs to me you
have something in common
282
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:44,889
with Captain Kirk.
283
00:12:44,892 --> 00:12:46,458
We both have cool hair?
284
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:47,560
In order to succeed,
285
00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:50,171
you both play fast and
loose with the rules.
286
00:12:50,174 --> 00:12:52,280
Yeah, I suppose we do.
287
00:12:52,283 --> 00:12:55,344
When you cheated on the math
test, what was your strategy?
288
00:12:55,346 --> 00:12:57,746
Well, I guess the most important part
289
00:12:57,748 --> 00:12:59,982
was not stepping on
anything wet before the test.
290
00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:02,051
And not getting an "A."
291
00:13:02,053 --> 00:13:03,986
Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
292
00:13:03,988 --> 00:13:06,488
'Cause that would raise suspicions.
293
00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,357
Who would believe I got an "A"?
294
00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:09,858
Wow.
295
00:13:09,861 --> 00:13:11,458
Tell me more.
296
00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:13,695
Okay, when you're telling a lie,
297
00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:15,928
it's important to throw in some details.
298
00:13:15,931 --> 00:13:18,300
Like, when I was wanted to
spend the night at Ricky's house,
299
00:13:18,303 --> 00:13:20,936
and Mom asked me if his mom
and dad were gonna be home,
300
00:13:20,938 --> 00:13:22,004
I said, not only
301
00:13:22,006 --> 00:13:23,546
are they be gonna be home,
302
00:13:23,549 --> 00:13:24,839
his dad was gonna teach us
303
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:27,139
how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
304
00:13:27,142 --> 00:13:29,195
I like turkey legs. Were they good?
305
00:13:29,198 --> 00:13:31,313
There weren't any turkey legs, you dope.
306
00:13:31,315 --> 00:13:33,582
His parents were in Branson.
307
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:36,552
That's incredible. I
totally believed you.
308
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:37,920
Details.
309
00:13:37,922 --> 00:13:40,639
Now get out of here, I
got to finish reading this.
310
00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:45,060
Thank you, Georgie,
that was very helpful.
311
00:13:46,397 --> 00:13:47,563
Did you hear that?
312
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:48,647
What?
313
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:51,254
Sounds like Georgie and
Sheldon are getting along.
314
00:13:51,257 --> 00:13:52,368
Really?
315
00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:54,036
That can't be right.
316
00:13:54,038 --> 00:13:55,163
I just heard it.
317
00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:57,439
Maybe there's hope for
those two after all.
318
00:13:57,441 --> 00:13:59,742
Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.
319
00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:02,374
Honey, I'm-I'm watching this.
320
00:14:06,757 --> 00:14:08,584
So you'll have to find someone else
321
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,530
to hold your ankles in P.E. today.
322
00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:12,032
I'm sorry, what?
323
00:14:12,035 --> 00:14:14,969
I've suffered a terrible injury
and won't be able to attend.
324
00:14:14,972 --> 00:14:16,291
What happened?
325
00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:17,999
See for yourself.
326
00:14:20,231 --> 00:14:23,644
"Dear Coach Wilkins, please
excuse my son, Sheldon,
327
00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:24,991
from P.E.
328
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,202
He has experienced a testicular hernia,
329
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:30,039
and needs to rest for the
next six to eight weeks.
330
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,207
Sincerely, Mary Cooper."
331
00:14:34,045 --> 00:14:35,477
Testicular hernia?
332
00:14:35,479 --> 00:14:37,452
That's called details.
333
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,363
Ooh, that's rough.
334
00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:42,484
Hmm.
335
00:14:42,486 --> 00:14:43,519
How'd it happen?
336
00:14:43,521 --> 00:14:44,887
It's hard to say,
337
00:14:44,889 --> 00:14:48,424
but some risk factors include:
heavy lifting, a chronic cough
338
00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:50,993
and repetitive straining
during bowel movements.
339
00:14:50,995 --> 00:14:52,639
I've been there.
340
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,400
Hmm. All right.
341
00:14:54,403 --> 00:14:57,837
Guess I'll see you
in... six to eight weeks.
342
00:15:04,061 --> 00:15:06,269
I don't know if other supervillains
343
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:09,324
started their careers
by getting out of P.E.,
344
00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:11,046
but that's where I began.
345
00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:13,682
Emboldened by my faux hernia,
346
00:15:13,684 --> 00:15:16,332
I started taking books
out of the library...
347
00:15:16,335 --> 00:15:19,389
without getting the cards stamped.
348
00:15:19,392 --> 00:15:21,056
You didn't check out those books.
349
00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:22,491
I know.
350
00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:24,626
Before you judge me too harshly,
351
00:15:24,628 --> 00:15:26,695
I always brought them back on time.
352
00:15:26,697 --> 00:15:29,765
I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.
353
00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:32,734
But perhaps my most
satisfying transgression
354
00:15:32,736 --> 00:15:34,639
was duping my sister
355
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,777
into relinquishing control of the TV.
356
00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:40,609
Hello.
357
00:15:40,611 --> 00:15:42,611
What's that for?
358
00:15:42,613 --> 00:15:46,415
Oh, this? I was just digging
for money in Meemaw's backyard.
359
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,217
There's money there?
360
00:15:48,219 --> 00:15:50,819
Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
361
00:15:50,821 --> 00:15:52,621
Who do you think left it?
362
00:15:52,623 --> 00:15:54,356
If I were to guess,
363
00:15:54,358 --> 00:15:56,458
I'd say pirates with
holes in their pockets.
364
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:58,827
Can I use your shovel?
365
00:15:58,829 --> 00:16:01,296
Be my guest.
366
00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:03,639
Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.
367
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:10,005
Today, we're going to learn
about Sir Isaac Newton.
368
00:16:10,007 --> 00:16:11,801
Hello, old friend.
369
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,504
One of the world's
greatest scientists...
370
00:16:17,948 --> 00:16:19,047
See you tomorrow, Wayne.
371
00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:20,816
You have a good one, George.
372
00:16:20,818 --> 00:16:22,518
Hey, how's your son doing?
373
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,785
Georgie?
374
00:16:23,788 --> 00:16:26,755
No, the smart one.
375
00:16:26,757 --> 00:16:28,390
He's fine. Why?
376
00:16:28,392 --> 00:16:30,159
What about the hernia?
377
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:31,483
What hernia?
378
00:16:31,486 --> 00:16:33,520
The one your wife said he had.
379
00:16:36,991 --> 00:16:38,867
Happened to me while I was in the Army.
380
00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:42,871
I was in a bar in Georgia,
tried to lift up this big gal.
381
00:16:42,873 --> 00:16:45,241
Swear I could hear
something pop down there.
382
00:16:45,244 --> 00:16:46,773
Sheldon gave you this note?
383
00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:48,009
Yeah.
384
00:16:48,012 --> 00:16:49,411
I didn't write this.
385
00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:50,712
You sure?
386
00:16:50,714 --> 00:16:52,014
Looks like your handwriting.
387
00:16:52,016 --> 00:16:53,505
It's got that little
swoopy thing going on.
388
00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:54,516
I didn't write it.
389
00:16:54,518 --> 00:16:57,199
And I think I'd know
if my son had a hernia.
390
00:16:57,202 --> 00:17:00,347
So what, Sheldon forged a
letter to get out of P.E.?
391
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,957
Looks like it.
392
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:03,625
How about that.
393
00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:06,139
Don't be proud of him.
394
00:17:06,142 --> 00:17:07,262
Can't help it.
395
00:17:07,264 --> 00:17:09,131
First time he ever seemed like my kid.
396
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:11,421
Do you have any idea
397
00:17:11,424 --> 00:17:14,069
what's gotten into him?
398
00:17:14,071 --> 00:17:15,437
I might.
399
00:17:15,439 --> 00:17:17,039
Well?
400
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:19,675
Have you ever heard of...
401
00:17:19,677 --> 00:17:23,145
Mobokachi Kaboom?
402
00:17:23,147 --> 00:17:24,358
Wait.
403
00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:26,814
Koshimaki Magoo.
404
00:17:26,817 --> 00:17:29,038
Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.
405
00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:34,156
"Dear Professor Proton,
406
00:17:34,158 --> 00:17:36,024
I would very much like to meet you,
407
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:38,594
and I only have three weeks to live.
408
00:17:38,596 --> 00:17:41,430
Please come visit me
here in Medford, Texas.
409
00:17:41,432 --> 00:17:43,165
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
410
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,046
P.S. My Meemaw makes excellent brisket."
411
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:46,181
Sheldon.
412
00:17:46,184 --> 00:17:48,147
Would you like to explain this note?
413
00:17:50,441 --> 00:17:51,540
Well?
414
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,809
I was trying to be more like Georgie.
415
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,210
That's a dumb idea.
416
00:17:55,212 --> 00:17:57,913
We don't want Georgie
to be like Georgie.
417
00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:01,817
Well, let me start by
saying how very sorry I am.
418
00:18:07,118 --> 00:18:08,963
Despite my explanation
419
00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:11,790
that I was embracing my inner Kirk,
420
00:18:11,792 --> 00:18:15,393
my mother had me make
amends for all my misdeeds.
421
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,162
Starting in the library,
422
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,765
where I had to reshelve
hundreds of books.
423
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,368
Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.
424
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:27,972
The amends got worse when Coach
Wilkins made me climb the rope.
425
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,208
Lacking any upper body strength,
426
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:33,749
I hung there like a
salami in a deli window.
427
00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:37,482
And finally, I had to
apologize to my meemaw,
428
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,609
who was an unfortunate victim
of my sister's treasure hunt.
429
00:18:42,731 --> 00:18:47,960
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
29841
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.