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♪♪
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ADULT SHELDON:
The average American consumes
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00:00:05,409 --> 00:00:08,547
55 pounds of beef per year.
4
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,167
And then there's Texas,
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00:00:10,234 --> 00:00:12,914
where we can knock that off
in a couple of months.
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00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:16,281
Maybe faster, if we're talking
about smoked brisket...
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00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:20,062
♪♪
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Curiously,
the one cut of beef
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00:00:23,737 --> 00:00:26,686
that Texans and Jews
agree upon.
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(mouth full): This is
really good, Meemaw.
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Really good?
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00:00:32,272 --> 00:00:34,559
You're spitting the best
brisket in Texas
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00:00:34,626 --> 00:00:36,223
all over the damn table.
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00:00:36,294 --> 00:00:37,762
Close your mouth
when you eat.
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00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,817
Or aim your face
the other way.
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00:00:39,883 --> 00:00:42,567
Connie, one of these days,
you got to give me the recipe.
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00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,309
You bet. For sure.
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00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,935
One of these days.
Oh, come on.
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00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:48,359
You can't hold on to it forever.
20
00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:49,675
Mean that much to you?
21
00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:51,214
Mary and I were dating
about a month
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00:00:51,272 --> 00:00:52,833
when she brought me
home for dinner.
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00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:54,525
I took one bite of this brisket,
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00:00:54,583 --> 00:00:55,910
and I knew I loved
your daughter.
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00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,164
Gee, thanks.
26
00:00:57,222 --> 00:00:59,717
Kind of like Sleeping Beauty,
except Dad kissed meat.
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00:00:59,784 --> 00:01:01,819
(chuckles)
28
00:01:02,102 --> 00:01:03,203
I tell you what.
29
00:01:03,572 --> 00:01:04,784
You go get a...
30
00:01:05,034 --> 00:01:06,312
piece of paper and a pencil,
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00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,559
I'll write it down for you.
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00:01:07,626 --> 00:01:10,194
Okay. It's happening...
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♪♪
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That's the fastest
I've seen him run.
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It's the only time
I've seen him run.
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00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,538
There you go.
37
00:01:20,605 --> 00:01:22,640
Okay.
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00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,261
I might make it
this weekend.
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00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,746
Or you could try
a vegetable.
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00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:31,515
Vegetable?
That's funny.
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00:01:33,546 --> 00:01:35,019
Okay.
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00:01:35,186 --> 00:01:37,154
Now, this is for
your eyes only.
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00:01:37,221 --> 00:01:38,756
You're not to share it
with anybody.
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00:01:38,823 --> 00:01:40,515
I never... I would never.
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00:01:46,977 --> 00:01:48,663
You're a horrible person.
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00:01:48,913 --> 00:01:50,261
(chuckles)
What'd it say?
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I want to know
what it said.
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00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,351
Me, too.
Just eat.
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00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:55,136
Can I read it?
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00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:01,473
You are a horrible person.
51
00:02:01,531 --> 00:02:02,574
Ain't I? (laughs)
52
00:02:02,632 --> 00:02:05,135
All right, that's enough
about the brisket.
53
00:02:05,202 --> 00:02:07,570
You kids excited for
the church picnic tomorrow?
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00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:09,343
Not really.
I don't know.
55
00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:10,874
Oh, come on.
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00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:13,176
You all saw the flier.
The three "F" s:
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00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:15,145
food, fun and fellowship.
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MEEMAW:
And I'm bringing
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a big slab of my brisket.
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00:02:18,487 --> 00:02:20,299
That's it.
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00:02:21,351 --> 00:02:23,866
15 years in this family, and
all the time I've been nothing
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00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:25,429
but a good,
supportive son-in-law.
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00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:27,053
I always treated
your daughter right,
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00:02:27,151 --> 00:02:29,019
I gave you three
beautiful grandchildren.
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00:02:29,134 --> 00:02:31,937
Only thing I ever asked in
return was that damn recipe.
66
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,499
You're right.
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00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,473
Get another piece of paper.
I'll write it down.
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00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:44,774
Don't mess with me, Connie.
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00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:47,377
Get the paper before
I change my mind.
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00:02:53,683 --> 00:02:55,945
You're gonna do it
to him again, aren't you?
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00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,601
I kind of have to.
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00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:02,292
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
73
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
74
00:03:04,828 --> 00:03:07,564
♪ I bet I could be your hero
75
00:03:07,631 --> 00:03:10,600
♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 01 Episode 07
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00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,590
(cow mooing)
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Episode Title:
"A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run"
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00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:20,856
(toilet flushes) MARY: George,
she was just fooling with you.
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00:03:20,914 --> 00:03:22,519
GEORGE:
No, no, she's mean.
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00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,952
She got a black heart.
82
00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,160
MARY:
She does not.
83
00:03:25,218 --> 00:03:26,887
GEORGE: Why do you
always side with her?
84
00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:28,855
MARY:
Well, she is my mother.
85
00:03:28,922 --> 00:03:30,223
GEORGE:
And there it is.
86
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,347
There's the problem.
87
00:03:31,405 --> 00:03:33,193
You should be siding
with me.
88
00:03:33,304 --> 00:03:36,374
MARY: Over brisket?
GEORGE: It's not just brisket.
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00:03:36,494 --> 00:03:38,585
It's the way she's been
treating me since day one.
90
00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:41,437
Like I'm some kind of
loser, a booby prize.
91
00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:44,237
"Booby prize."
MARY: What was that?
92
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,279
Georgie, you mind
your own business.
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00:03:53,445 --> 00:03:54,948
What did I do?
94
00:03:56,382 --> 00:03:58,195
What's going on?
95
00:03:58,324 --> 00:04:00,526
Mom and Dad are fighting.
96
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,140
What about?
97
00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:04,093
Brisket.
98
00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:07,502
If they get a divorce,
who do you think
99
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,095
you'll pick to live with?
100
00:04:10,344 --> 00:04:11,979
Well, Mom, of course.
101
00:04:12,037 --> 00:04:14,005
I want Mom. Pick again.
102
00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:15,499
(sighs)
103
00:04:15,609 --> 00:04:17,850
♪♪
104
00:04:18,037 --> 00:04:19,504
I thought Dad was coming.
105
00:04:19,572 --> 00:04:21,040
No, he had work to do.
106
00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:23,585
- What kind of work?
- I don't know. Coaching stuff.
107
00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:25,178
Can't he do it
after the picnic?
108
00:04:25,245 --> 00:04:27,320
- No, Missy, he cannot.
- Why not?
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00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:29,009
Enough.
110
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,650
How come Georgie's
not going?
111
00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:35,291
He's grounded for eavesdropping
on me and your father.
112
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:39,314
Well, I hope he learned
his lesson.
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00:04:39,642 --> 00:04:42,220
Is this about the recipe?
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00:04:42,695 --> 00:04:45,759
I bet he's mad 'cause
you always side with Meemaw.
115
00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:47,681
And how would you know that?
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00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,242
Georgie told me.
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00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,541
Are you and Dad
getting a divorce?
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00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,658
'Course not.
119
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:56,400
Well, if you do,
I want to live with you.
120
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,029
Sheldon, no one's
getting a divorce.
121
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:00,474
But thank you, honey.
122
00:05:03,453 --> 00:05:05,321
You know this
all goes away
123
00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:08,009
if you just give him your
recipe for the brisket.
124
00:05:08,159 --> 00:05:09,259
I know.
125
00:05:09,486 --> 00:05:11,024
And?
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00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:14,791
I guess it's not going away.
127
00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:19,265
(football announcer speaking
over TV)
128
00:05:19,339 --> 00:05:21,441
And I wasn't
eavesdropping.
129
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:23,002
Don't worry about it.
130
00:05:23,069 --> 00:05:24,971
I just don't see why
I got grounded.
131
00:05:25,038 --> 00:05:26,406
What are you complaining about?
132
00:05:26,473 --> 00:05:28,441
You didn't want to go
to church picnic anyway.
133
00:05:28,508 --> 00:05:31,044
I like complaining.
I'm good at it.
134
00:05:37,573 --> 00:05:39,308
I'll be right back.
135
00:05:39,485 --> 00:05:42,088
Mind if I have
a sip of your beer?
136
00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:44,748
You mind if I dip your head
in the compost heap?
137
00:05:45,509 --> 00:05:47,884
You could have
just said no.
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00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,924
♪♪
139
00:06:14,777 --> 00:06:16,785
What are you doing?
(gasps)
140
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,066
Nothing!
Get out of here.
141
00:06:19,347 --> 00:06:21,308
You're looking for
her brisket recipe.
142
00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,029
All of a sudden you got smart?
143
00:06:23,096 --> 00:06:24,300
I said get out of here.
144
00:06:24,378 --> 00:06:26,066
I won't tell, I swear.
145
00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,152
All right, help me look.
146
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,516
Ooh.
Found it?
147
00:06:36,576 --> 00:06:38,244
No, this is her French toast.
148
00:06:38,311 --> 00:06:40,579
You're not looking
for French toast.
149
00:06:40,646 --> 00:06:42,348
She does make it good, though.
150
00:06:42,415 --> 00:06:44,184
Did you know
she puts vanilla extract
151
00:06:44,251 --> 00:06:45,385
in her whipped cream?
152
00:06:45,452 --> 00:06:46,652
I did not.
153
00:06:46,719 --> 00:06:48,121
Quarter teaspoon.
154
00:06:48,188 --> 00:06:49,655
Georgie?
Yeah?
155
00:06:49,722 --> 00:06:51,457
We're looking for brisket!
156
00:06:52,086 --> 00:06:54,121
Cranky.
157
00:06:57,563 --> 00:07:00,433
(door opens)
MARY: We're home.
158
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,500
Be cool.
159
00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:03,269
I'm cool. You be cool.
160
00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:05,438
(leather squeaking)
161
00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:12,045
(chair clatters)
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00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:13,750
Real cool.
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00:07:31,721 --> 00:07:34,242
♪♪
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00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:37,069
He thought I wrote it down.
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00:07:38,282 --> 00:07:39,783
What a dope.
166
00:07:41,238 --> 00:07:45,287
MAN: Seltzer...
(continues speaking over TV)
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00:07:45,345 --> 00:07:47,495
hair tonic. Hair tonic.
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00:07:48,348 --> 00:07:50,416
(man continues speaking over TV)
169
00:07:50,474 --> 00:07:51,841
Need help putting the kids down?
170
00:07:51,899 --> 00:07:54,192
No, thank you, I've been
taking care of them all day.
171
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,521
I think I can
finish the job.
172
00:07:55,588 --> 00:07:57,057
Oh, come on, don't do that.
173
00:07:57,115 --> 00:07:58,721
Don't do what?
174
00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:02,443
Never mind.
175
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:08,485
Just so you know,
Sheldon and Missy won
176
00:08:08,543 --> 00:08:10,179
the three-legged race
because she told him
177
00:08:10,236 --> 00:08:12,627
a bee was chasing them,
and you missed it.
178
00:08:12,772 --> 00:08:15,448
I'm sorry, I-I just needed
a break from your mother.
179
00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:18,088
Yeah, well, you took a break
from your family.
180
00:08:18,244 --> 00:08:20,546
How long is this feud
between you two gonna go on?
181
00:08:20,613 --> 00:08:21,870
That's up to her.
182
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,268
You are both such...
183
00:08:24,445 --> 00:08:27,515
stubborn...
donkey butts!
184
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,315
(Missy laughing)
Missy!
185
00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:30,627
Go to bed.
186
00:08:30,752 --> 00:08:32,234
MISSY:
You don't know it's me.
187
00:08:32,338 --> 00:08:33,885
(running footsteps, door closes)
188
00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:37,244
(crickets chirping)
189
00:08:38,898 --> 00:08:40,252
Hey.
190
00:08:40,674 --> 00:08:42,336
What do you want?
191
00:08:43,018 --> 00:08:44,703
Don't be that way.
192
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,627
I brought you a cold one.
193
00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:49,449
Thanks.
194
00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:50,910
I still don't like you.
195
00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:52,778
(chuckling)
196
00:08:57,463 --> 00:08:59,932
Would this change
your feelings?
197
00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:03,489
Is that it?
198
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:05,798
The Holy Grail.
199
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,190
What changed your mind?
200
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,479
You not going
to the picnic today,
201
00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:15,338
that hurt Mary
and the twins.
202
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:17,339
I cannot have that
on my heart.
203
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,456
Is that so?
Absolutely.
204
00:09:20,713 --> 00:09:22,409
Look me in the eye
and tell me
205
00:09:22,498 --> 00:09:24,854
this is the actual recipe.
206
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,655
George, what you have
in your hand
207
00:09:28,713 --> 00:09:31,666
is the exact
step-by-step instructions
208
00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:34,453
on how to make my brisket.
209
00:09:35,017 --> 00:09:38,510
I have never written it down
until tonight because...
210
00:09:39,634 --> 00:09:42,369
I was afraid
someone might steal it.
211
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:45,275
But I'm entrusting
this to you,
212
00:09:45,416 --> 00:09:49,447
and I hope that someday,
when the time is right,
213
00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:52,947
you will see fit to share it
with one of your children.
214
00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:54,455
Connie, I don't
know what to say.
215
00:09:54,513 --> 00:09:56,248
Don't call me Connie.
216
00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:59,293
Call me Mom.
(chuckles)
217
00:09:59,446 --> 00:10:01,041
Thanks, Mom.
218
00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:03,015
You're welcome, son.
219
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:04,339
Mmm.
220
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:07,432
♪♪
221
00:10:07,787 --> 00:10:09,198
(quietly):
What a dope.
222
00:10:09,256 --> 00:10:10,890
♪ What I want, you've got
223
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:12,958
♪ And it might be
hard to handle ♪
224
00:10:13,025 --> 00:10:15,928
♪ But like the flame
that burns the candle... ♪
225
00:10:15,995 --> 00:10:18,679
ADULT SHELDON: The next morning,
my dad embarked
226
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:22,456
on a doomed quest
to make the perfect brisket.
227
00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:24,163
Can I help you?
228
00:10:24,221 --> 00:10:25,738
Matter of fact, you can.
229
00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:27,340
♪ You pull them
all together... ♪
230
00:10:27,407 --> 00:10:30,698
I need 12 pounds of prime Angus
with a medium deckle,
231
00:10:30,854 --> 00:10:35,284
ideally slaughtered in the
spring, no later than mid-June.
232
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,049
♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪
233
00:10:39,174 --> 00:10:40,786
ADULT SHELDON:
For the spice rub,
234
00:10:40,853 --> 00:10:43,023
Meemaw had him drive
to New Orleans
235
00:10:43,081 --> 00:10:46,077
to buy ground coffee
from Café Du Monde,
236
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:50,003
and seven ounces of something
called "holy ghost root"
237
00:10:50,089 --> 00:10:52,628
from a voodoo woman
named Madam Laveau.
238
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,026
♪ Yeah...
239
00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:56,424
Could you grind my root for me?
240
00:10:58,421 --> 00:11:01,495
I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it
on brisket.
241
00:11:08,062 --> 00:11:11,503
ADULT SHELDON: Then back home,
he applied the spice rub
242
00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:13,745
with such erotic tenderness,
243
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,651
it made my mother
a little jealous.
244
00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:19,958
♪ Well, you...
245
00:11:20,252 --> 00:11:22,287
Finally, the cooking began.
246
00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:25,534
♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪
247
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:29,315
♪ Oh, yeah,
I've been waiting for... ♪
248
00:11:29,444 --> 00:11:32,447
14 hours of cooking.
249
00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:34,128
And basting.
250
00:11:34,229 --> 00:11:36,104
♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪
251
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,596
And spritzing.
252
00:11:37,654 --> 00:11:38,841
♪ Me, you, me, you, me...
253
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,729
And tending to the fire.
254
00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:46,995
♪ Oh, my, you make my dreams
come true... ♪
255
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:52,024
Until it was finally time
to let the meat rest.
256
00:11:52,324 --> 00:11:54,510
♪ Waiting for, waiting for,
waiting for ♪
257
00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:56,581
♪ Waiting for,
waiting for, waiting for ♪
258
00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:58,807
♪ You make my dreams...
Oh...
259
00:11:58,929 --> 00:12:01,643
Rest, my darling.
260
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:03,877
Rest.
261
00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:07,917
Mmm. This Café Du Monde coffee
is very good.
262
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:10,044
They make it with chicory.
263
00:12:10,323 --> 00:12:12,435
And what does it do
to the brisket?
264
00:12:12,581 --> 00:12:14,490
Oh, I have no idea.
265
00:12:15,076 --> 00:12:18,357
Then why did you send George
all the way to New Orleans?
266
00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:20,919
Well, they don't sell this
around here.
267
00:12:21,294 --> 00:12:22,295
Mmm.
268
00:12:22,353 --> 00:12:24,621
Here we go.
269
00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:27,952
15 years and 14 hours later.
270
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:31,142
Best brisket in Texas.
271
00:12:36,318 --> 00:12:38,357
GEORGE SR.:
Connie, you evil bitch!
272
00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:40,678
It's smoother
than regular coffee.
273
00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:43,771
That wasn't the recipe.
274
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,863
You looked me in the eye,
and you lied to me.
275
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,064
Oh, Mom.
276
00:12:47,131 --> 00:12:49,591
You broke into my home
and tried to steal it.
277
00:12:49,649 --> 00:12:50,682
Oh, George.
278
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,002
You told her we
went over there?
279
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,638
(gasps)
Oh, George Jr.
280
00:12:53,705 --> 00:12:55,513
I didn't say nothing.
I was cool.
281
00:12:55,571 --> 00:12:57,185
I am loving this.
282
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,212
I don't want this woman
in my house anymore.
283
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,216
She is my mother.
She is the devil.
284
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,581
And what if the kids
want to see her?
285
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,087
Fine.
286
00:13:05,145 --> 00:13:07,014
Schedule it
for when I'm not here.
287
00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:09,286
Or when I'm dead.
288
00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:18,801
And quit drinking my coffee.
289
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:30,099
Turn off your train,
we've got to talk.
290
00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:31,369
(train stops)
291
00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:32,680
About what?
292
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,311
Mom is so upset
about Dad and Meemaw,
293
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,980
she might want a divorce.
294
00:13:36,047 --> 00:13:37,526
No one's getting divorced.
295
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:38,651
How do you know?
296
00:13:38,729 --> 00:13:40,081
(whistles)
297
00:13:40,175 --> 00:13:41,886
Great, now I have
to throw that out.
298
00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:45,995
Mother-in-laws are always held
in low regard by the father.
299
00:13:46,237 --> 00:13:48,550
It rarely leads
to a breakup of the family.
300
00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:49,775
MISSY:
He's right.
301
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:52,143
Fred and Wilma
are still happily married.
302
00:13:52,296 --> 00:13:54,131
I think if we can figure out
303
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:56,233
a way for Dad to get
Meemaw's brisket recipe,
304
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,635
this all goes away.
305
00:13:57,702 --> 00:13:59,737
I don't see how
we can accomplish that.
306
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,038
(train clatters)
307
00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:02,707
Put that down.
308
00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:03,975
That's not a toy.
309
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:05,109
Sure it is.
310
00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:06,711
Choo choo.
311
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:08,557
MEEMAW:
Choo choo...
312
00:14:08,745 --> 00:14:11,348
Choo choo.
313
00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:14,051
Open wide, Moonpie.
314
00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,754
Here comes the choo choo train.
315
00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:18,255
Choo choo.
316
00:14:18,322 --> 00:14:20,791
Mmm. Isn't that good?
317
00:14:20,858 --> 00:14:21,893
(chuckles)
318
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,262
That's Meemaw's famous brisket.
319
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,471
Would you like
the secret recipe?
320
00:14:27,529 --> 00:14:28,629
(gasps)
321
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:31,089
You promise not to tell anybody?
322
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:34,271
Of course you're not gonna
tell anybody.
323
00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:37,675
I start with a tablespoon
of cumin,
324
00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:41,111
and then a cup
of brown sugar, and...
325
00:14:41,279 --> 00:14:42,880
I know the recipe.
326
00:14:42,947 --> 00:14:44,048
What?
327
00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:45,909
- She told it to me.
- When?
328
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:48,476
February 14, 1982.
329
00:14:48,534 --> 00:14:50,835
I was 23 months old,
it was Valentine's Day,
330
00:14:50,893 --> 00:14:52,815
and Mom and Dad
went out for dinner.
331
00:14:52,909 --> 00:14:54,959
You were there.
Don't you remember?
332
00:14:55,026 --> 00:14:56,861
(sighs)
333
00:14:56,919 --> 00:14:59,261
(wind whistling softly)
334
00:14:59,319 --> 00:15:00,940
I got nothing.
335
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,679
You can really remember
when you were that little?
336
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:04,979
Uh-huh. You were there, too.
337
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,839
You were still struggling
with potty training.
338
00:15:06,897 --> 00:15:08,532
(chuckling):
I don't think so.
339
00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:11,909
Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you
Mr. Soggy Pants.
340
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,019
Nuh-uh.
341
00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,516
(laughs):
Mr. Soggy Pants.
342
00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,261
Quit it. This is serious.
343
00:15:16,319 --> 00:15:18,311
Sheldon, you've got
to tell Dad that recipe.
344
00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:21,038
But Meemaw told me
it was a secret.
345
00:15:21,096 --> 00:15:24,194
If you don't, and Mom and Dad
get a divorce, it's your fault.
346
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,638
All right.
347
00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:27,931
Fine.
348
00:15:29,193 --> 00:15:31,108
Good job, Soggy Pants.
349
00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:33,330
(referee whistle blowing
over TV)
350
00:15:33,913 --> 00:15:36,592
Dad, could you please
come into the living room?
351
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,850
What for?
352
00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:39,308
My brain
did something impressive
353
00:15:39,366 --> 00:15:41,305
and I'd like to share it
with you.
354
00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:43,974
Hmm.
355
00:15:45,102 --> 00:15:46,897
(George Sr. grunts)
356
00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:51,108
What are you doing here?
357
00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,475
Same as you.
358
00:15:52,671 --> 00:15:54,561
I want to see
what his brain did.
359
00:15:54,659 --> 00:15:56,452
Please have a seat.
360
00:15:57,614 --> 00:15:59,498
All right.
361
00:16:00,468 --> 00:16:02,177
(grunts)
362
00:16:02,235 --> 00:16:03,590
GEORGE SR.:
Well?
363
00:16:03,648 --> 00:16:05,905
I know Meemaw's brisket recipe.
364
00:16:05,963 --> 00:16:07,030
What?
365
00:16:07,088 --> 00:16:08,144
No, you don't.
366
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,335
Yes, I do.
367
00:16:09,466 --> 00:16:11,936
And in order to bring peace
to this family,
368
00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:13,532
I'm prepared to make it public.
369
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:14,611
You're bluffing.
370
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,086
One tablespoon of cumin,
371
00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:17,374
one cup of brown sugar,
372
00:16:17,441 --> 00:16:19,274
two tablespoons
of smoked paprika...
373
00:16:19,332 --> 00:16:20,352
Okay, okay, stop.
374
00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:21,453
No, no, no. Keep going.
375
00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:23,211
How do you know
the recipe, Shelly?
376
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:26,368
Meemaw told it to me
on Valentine's Day, 1982.
377
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,594
You were out with Dad
seeing Cannonball Run
378
00:16:28,652 --> 00:16:29,729
at the dollar theater.
379
00:16:29,821 --> 00:16:32,323
That's impossible, you weren't
even two years old.
380
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:34,158
Three tablespoons
of dried mustard,
381
00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:35,368
one cup of Lone Star beer...
382
00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:37,227
Okay.
383
00:16:38,243 --> 00:16:39,810
Okay.
384
00:16:40,017 --> 00:16:41,585
Go ahead.
385
00:16:42,004 --> 00:16:43,673
Give it to your father.
386
00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:45,675
I can write it down for you.
387
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:48,939
That's okay,
I don't want it.
388
00:16:49,006 --> 00:16:51,086
(quietly):
You have got to be kidding me.
389
00:16:51,185 --> 00:16:52,653
Connie, you've had
every opportunity
390
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,221
to give me that recipe
and you never did,
391
00:16:54,278 --> 00:16:55,884
because you've always
treated me like an outsider.
392
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:56,957
No, she has not.
393
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:58,235
Oh, of course I have.
394
00:16:58,293 --> 00:16:59,563
See? She admits it.
395
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,518
(sighs)
Damn right, I do.
396
00:17:01,993 --> 00:17:04,680
Never thought you were good
enough for my daughter.
397
00:17:05,089 --> 00:17:07,766
There you were, riding around
on that dumb motorcycle,
398
00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:08,849
knocking her up.
399
00:17:08,907 --> 00:17:10,427
Why don't you kids
go in the kitchen
400
00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:11,821
and fix yourselves
some ice cream?
401
00:17:11,879 --> 00:17:13,938
I'm not going anywhere.
402
00:17:15,461 --> 00:17:18,078
Hey. I get it.
403
00:17:18,695 --> 00:17:19,844
I have a daughter.
404
00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:22,899
I wouldn't want her bringing
home someone like that.
405
00:17:24,203 --> 00:17:26,719
But I've come
a hell of a long way since then.
406
00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:32,828
Okay, you're right.
407
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:38,181
George.
408
00:17:40,179 --> 00:17:41,914
I'm sorry.
409
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,367
That means more to me
than any recipe.
410
00:17:48,878 --> 00:17:50,780
Come here.
411
00:17:51,281 --> 00:17:53,245
(Meemaw chuckles)
412
00:17:53,302 --> 00:17:56,748
♪♪
413
00:17:57,318 --> 00:17:59,099
ADULT SHELDON:
Don't let the hug fool you.
414
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:02,498
The minute she went home,
he made me give him the recipe.
415
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,631
Here we go, maiden voyage.
416
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,959
Mmm, mmm.
417
00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:13,889
Hot damn.
418
00:18:14,436 --> 00:18:16,171
GEORGE SR.:
Hot damn.
419
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,408
(George Sr. moaning)
420
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:21,343
Hot damn!
421
00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:23,900
MARY (laughs):
George! Language.
422
00:18:24,096 --> 00:18:25,213
Sheldon.
423
00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:26,954
Want some?
424
00:18:27,143 --> 00:18:29,463
Uh, no, thank you.
I'm not hungry.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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