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1
00:00:07,204 --> 00:00:09,039
There it is.
2
00:00:09,041 --> 00:00:10,541
Valencia.
3
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,077
How do you think this should go down?
4
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:15,078
Do you think I should save the kingdom
and then rescue Madalena?
5
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,647
Or do you think
I should rescue, then save?
6
00:00:16,648 --> 00:00:19,750
'Cause I just want it to have
a dramatic build, you know?
7
00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:21,385
I mean, either way,
8
00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:23,120
we're all gonna live happily ever after.
9
00:00:23,121 --> 00:00:24,488
Yep.
10
00:00:24,489 --> 00:00:25,823
I'm sure that's exactly how
it's going to be.
11
00:00:25,824 --> 00:00:27,224
Especially the living part.
12
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For you.
13
00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:30,628
No reason why you wouldn't keep on living.
14
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Your life. [Chuckles]
15
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,198
You know you're talking, right?
16
00:00:40,939 --> 00:00:48,929
I can't believe
we're al-l-mo-o-st the-e-e-re
17
00:00:55,887 --> 00:01:01,625
I can't believe he's al-l-mo-o-st here
18
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,294
You're little Valencian princess
19
00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:05,129
is leading Galavant right into my trap.
20
00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,665
He'll be here tonight as the sun has cast
21
00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:09,733
its last shadow upon the earth
22
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:13,070
and the crescent moon is risen
above the Eastern Ridge.
23
00:01:13,071 --> 00:01:14,738
So, like 9:00?
24
00:01:14,739 --> 00:01:15,839
[Sighs]
25
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,741
Yes, Gareth, he'll be here at 9:00.
26
00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:20,177
And I cannot wait!
27
00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:22,580
I will kill Galavant
in front of the queen,
28
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:25,182
surprise her with the jewel,
and then finally bed
29
00:01:25,183 --> 00:01:27,751
the most delicate flower
in the seven realms.
30
00:01:27,752 --> 00:01:29,820
Attention, donkey turds!
31
00:01:29,821 --> 00:01:31,822
Where is that pox-ridden
sack of deformities
32
00:01:31,823 --> 00:01:33,157
known as my hand maiden?
33
00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:34,358
My hair is a disaster.
34
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Gwynne?
35
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My hair!
36
00:01:37,529 --> 00:01:39,063
Forgive me, My Queen.
37
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Was that too much to ask?
38
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[Scoffs]
39
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:47,037
Just think about it, hmm?
40
00:01:47,038 --> 00:01:50,474
We could, uh, we could do
a picnic, you know?
41
00:01:50,475 --> 00:01:51,875
Something super cazh.
42
00:01:51,876 --> 00:01:55,242
For the hundredth time, no.
43
00:01:55,244 --> 00:01:59,049
Your mouth is saying no, but I can see
your rotten teeth through that smile.
44
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Go on, you!
45
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:03,053
She's going to be so surprised!
46
00:02:03,054 --> 00:02:05,289
No, she's not because you keep doing
47
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,491
that stupid "evil king whisper" thing
48
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:08,825
that everyone can hear.
49
00:02:08,826 --> 00:02:10,861
- How about this?
- Lower.
50
00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:12,462
- [Deep voice] How about this?
- Oh, please.
51
00:02:12,463 --> 00:02:13,897
[Normal voice] Oh, come on. That was good.
52
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:15,799
For God's sakes, Gareth.
You're allowed to laugh.
53
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,200
What are you two yabbering about?
54
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:20,037
Nothing, darling. Nothing going on.
55
00:02:20,038 --> 00:02:22,806
That's right. There is nothing going on.
56
00:02:22,807 --> 00:02:25,175
I've been waiting for you
to find that jewel
57
00:02:25,176 --> 00:02:27,811
since we invaded this
wretched kingdom a year ago!
58
00:02:27,812 --> 00:02:31,148
Maddie, baby... chill.
59
00:02:31,149 --> 00:02:35,018
These things have a way
of... working themselves out.
60
00:02:35,019 --> 00:02:36,653
Why are you so calm?
61
00:02:36,654 --> 00:02:38,722
Normally when I yell at you,
you get tummy cramps
62
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,857
and have to go poopy... your words.
63
00:02:40,858 --> 00:02:42,659
What can I say?
64
00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:46,029
I'm sleeping well, exercising,
laying off the wheat.
65
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:48,064
Just in a really good place right now.
66
00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:50,200
You're inept.
67
00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:52,836
You're all inept!
68
00:02:52,837 --> 00:02:55,372
I can't even look at any of you anymore.
69
00:03:00,578 --> 00:03:02,379
My husband's a wimp
70
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:05,148
His henchmen are simply useless
71
00:03:05,149 --> 00:03:07,550
The servants and staff
72
00:03:07,551 --> 00:03:10,754
Are inbreeds and half-wits, too
73
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:14,357
Oh, God, how I need someone here
74
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Willing to get things done here
75
00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:20,463
Someone who shares my point of view
76
00:03:20,464 --> 00:03:23,466
But who?!
77
00:03:23,467 --> 00:03:25,435
It's you
78
00:03:25,436 --> 00:03:28,805
No one but you
79
00:03:28,806 --> 00:03:31,407
No one's as smart and hard of heart
80
00:03:31,408 --> 00:03:33,176
And looks the part
81
00:03:33,177 --> 00:03:34,444
Like you
82
00:03:34,446 --> 00:03:36,881
Who'd pull off a coup d'etat like you
83
00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:39,149
While rockin' a push-up bra like you?
84
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:42,252
Well, here's a clue, no one but you
85
00:03:42,252 --> 00:03:45,721
You
You
You
86
00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:47,991
Nobody wheels and double-deals
87
00:03:47,992 --> 00:03:50,793
In killer heels like me
88
00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:53,263
There's nobody who could rule like you
89
00:03:53,264 --> 00:03:56,232
While making her subjects
drool like you
90
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:57,834
While tough to the core like you
91
00:03:57,835 --> 00:04:01,804
Let's face it,
who's more like you than you?
92
00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:04,173
No one but you
93
00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:06,509
Who has the brains to break her chains
94
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:08,144
And seize the reins?
95
00:04:08,145 --> 00:04:09,746
Yeah, you
96
00:04:09,747 --> 00:04:11,614
It's been quite
the social climb for you
97
00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:14,183
And, honey, at last it's time for you
98
00:04:14,184 --> 00:04:16,319
So, answer the call for you
99
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,654
And go take it all for you
100
00:04:18,655 --> 00:04:20,823
Who else is going to?
101
00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:24,360
Yes, who?
No one
102
00:04:24,361 --> 00:04:26,362
But yo-o-o-u
103
00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:29,932
You
You
You
104
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:31,934
Get it, girl! You the queen!
105
00:04:31,935 --> 00:04:33,302
[All cheering] Go get 'em, girl!
106
00:04:33,303 --> 00:04:37,032
Galavant - 01x05
Completely Mad... Alena.
107
00:04:41,446 --> 00:04:44,537
Oh, sorry. I really had to pee.
108
00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:47,800
It takes so long to undo all
the laces on my riding pants.
109
00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:50,237
You know, someone should come up
with something
110
00:04:50,238 --> 00:04:52,439
around the crotch
that would just go "zip."
111
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,641
You could do your business
and be done with it.
112
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,410
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
113
00:04:57,411 --> 00:04:58,511
Tell him, Izzy.
114
00:04:58,512 --> 00:04:59,946
It's not a great idea, Sid.
115
00:04:59,947 --> 00:05:01,281
Are you sure?
116
00:05:01,282 --> 00:05:02,582
I really feel like I'm on to something.
117
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,317
Can we just focus?
118
00:05:04,318 --> 00:05:05,885
We've got a castle to storm.
119
00:05:05,886 --> 00:05:08,788
The sun's almost perfect
for hero lighting.
120
00:05:08,789 --> 00:05:10,390
I should do some push-ups.
121
00:05:10,391 --> 00:05:13,893
But wouldn't it be better
to storm the castle later?
122
00:05:13,894 --> 00:05:15,695
Ooh, how about on a Wednesday?
123
00:05:15,696 --> 00:05:17,930
You never hear of anyone storming
a castle on a Wednesday.
124
00:05:17,932 --> 00:05:20,633
The thing is, is Wednesdays
are quite hard to rhyme with.
125
00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:22,202
And I'm pretty much 100% sure
126
00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:23,870
they're gonna write songs
about this one, so...
127
00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:25,805
Interlocking little teeth
128
00:05:25,806 --> 00:05:27,941
right in the front of your pants
that zip together.
129
00:05:27,942 --> 00:05:29,743
- Sid!
- You're embarrassing yourself.
130
00:05:29,744 --> 00:05:33,680
I mean, it just feels like
you're rushing it.
131
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:36,950
If you took the time to think about it...
132
00:05:36,951 --> 00:05:40,085
You smell. Really bad.
133
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:43,023
Princess, I'm a knight of the seven realms
134
00:05:43,024 --> 00:05:44,624
about to ride into a battle so epic...
135
00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:46,393
Oh, God, yeah.
Yeah, we should find a place.
136
00:05:46,394 --> 00:05:48,061
I need to wash up.
137
00:05:48,062 --> 00:05:49,429
Oh. Good.
138
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:51,898
I thought I was having a bath.
This is a church.
139
00:05:51,899 --> 00:05:54,167
This isn't just a church.
140
00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:58,271
It's the most famed and revered
monastery in Valencia.
141
00:05:58,272 --> 00:06:00,073
[Sighs]
142
00:06:00,074 --> 00:06:02,375
Bum ba-dum bum bum
143
00:06:02,376 --> 00:06:05,378
Welcome to our Abbey,
the best in the domain
144
00:06:05,379 --> 00:06:07,947
The order of our father
of perpetual refrain
145
00:06:07,948 --> 00:06:09,415
And we're the Monks
146
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:11,417
Hey, hey, we're the Monks
147
00:06:11,418 --> 00:06:13,052
- Back story, please.
-
Hey, hey, we're the Monks
148
00:06:13,053 --> 00:06:15,054
Valencian Monks all take a vow of singing.
149
00:06:15,055 --> 00:06:17,023
- Oh, bravo! [Sighs] Kill me.
-
Hey, hey, we're the Monks
150
00:06:17,024 --> 00:06:18,424
Come in if you are weary
151
00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:19,659
There's food if you would dine
152
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:22,695
Plus 31 varieties of sacramental wine
153
00:06:22,696 --> 00:06:23,796
And we're the Monks
154
00:06:24,328 --> 00:06:26,132
Hey, hey, we're the Monks
155
00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:28,768
Hmmm
Bum ba-dum bum bum
156
00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:29,903
I'm the smart one
157
00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:31,638
Ahh, Hallelu
158
00:06:31,639 --> 00:06:33,172
I'm the cute one
159
00:06:33,173 --> 00:06:34,641
Boopsy-doo
160
00:06:34,642 --> 00:06:35,942
I'm the shy one
161
00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:36,976
Peekaboo
162
00:06:36,977 --> 00:06:38,945
And I'm the bad boy
163
00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:41,614
But not so bad 'cause I'm a monk
164
00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:43,483
Bless you, children
ooh ooh ooh-ooh
165
00:06:43,484 --> 00:06:45,985
[Vocalizing] We seek shelter...
166
00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:49,055
Water for our horses,
and a bath for my friend.
167
00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:51,657
We'll fetch the holy water
and holy soap, as well
168
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:54,494
'Cause, holy Guacamole,
that one reeks to holy hell
169
00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:56,662
And we're the Monks
170
00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:58,331
Hey, hey, we're the Monks
171
00:06:58,332 --> 00:06:59,966
Ooh wee-ahh
172
00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:02,502
Jazz hands
173
00:07:02,503 --> 00:07:03,770
Yeah!
174
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,039
Can't we just have a normal adventure?
175
00:07:08,108 --> 00:07:11,444
Is there anyone available
to counsel a person
176
00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:13,246
who might, through no fault of her own,
177
00:07:13,247 --> 00:07:15,815
be feeling guilty about a
fatal plot she's put into motion
178
00:07:15,816 --> 00:07:19,152
which could lead to the demise of someone
she's grown a little fond of?
179
00:07:19,153 --> 00:07:20,319
[Note plays]
180
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,988
Just nod yes or no.
181
00:07:24,091 --> 00:07:25,491
[Bird cries]
182
00:07:29,796 --> 00:07:31,864
Madalena: Where are the kitchen trolls?
183
00:07:34,101 --> 00:07:35,001
Ah.
184
00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:38,371
Hey, m'lady.
185
00:07:38,372 --> 00:07:41,073
Who do I have to disembowel
around here to get a cup of tea?
186
00:07:41,074 --> 00:07:43,175
Oh, a thousand apologies.
187
00:07:43,176 --> 00:07:46,145
I was busy preparing
for tonight's celebration.
188
00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:47,446
Celebration for what?
189
00:07:47,447 --> 00:07:48,914
Oh, I... I wouldn't know.
190
00:07:48,915 --> 00:07:50,883
I-I'm just trying to stay alive,
191
00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:53,686
and I find it helps
not to ask too many questions.
192
00:07:58,925 --> 00:08:01,060
You're close with the king, aren't you?
193
00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:04,997
Eh, I wouldn't call us close,
but we hang, yeah.
194
00:08:04,998 --> 00:08:05,930
[Chuckles]
195
00:08:05,932 --> 00:08:09,502
And, um, you fancy Gwynne, my hand maiden.
196
00:08:09,503 --> 00:08:11,303
Sha'!
197
00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:16,041
Listen, I know Richard's
keeping something from me.
198
00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,511
You find out what he has up his sleeve,
199
00:08:18,512 --> 00:08:22,715
and I will help you
get Gwynne into your bed.
200
00:08:22,716 --> 00:08:24,183
Ooh. [Chuckles]
201
00:08:24,184 --> 00:08:26,118
A generous offer, My Queen,
202
00:08:26,119 --> 00:08:28,053
but I'm not even sure
we could both fit into my bed.
203
00:08:30,056 --> 00:08:31,390
You sleep in the kitchen?
204
00:08:31,391 --> 00:08:34,527
Or... Do I cook in my room?
205
00:08:34,528 --> 00:08:37,329
Why do I even talk to poor people?
206
00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:39,632
Do we have a deal?
207
00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:40,766
What the hell?
208
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:43,068
I need all the help I can get.
209
00:08:43,069 --> 00:08:44,703
I sleep in a freaking kitchen.
210
00:08:44,704 --> 00:08:45,971
Okay.
211
00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:48,674
The king is having a secret meeting
212
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:50,809
where I'm to serve snacks
and a light refreshment
213
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,178
as soon as the croaks of the frogs
214
00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:55,080
usher in the raven's last call.
215
00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:56,815
So, like 9:00?
216
00:08:56,816 --> 00:08:58,350
Yeah, 9:00.
217
00:08:58,351 --> 00:08:59,651
Excellent.
218
00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:01,387
Take me there.
219
00:09:01,388 --> 00:09:03,389
Yes, m'lady.
220
00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:06,625
And King Richard said
if I didn't bring the jewel
221
00:09:06,626 --> 00:09:08,660
and Galavant back, he'd kill my parents.
222
00:09:08,661 --> 00:09:10,028
So, I lied to Galavant
223
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:11,897
and told him
that the queen still loved him.
224
00:09:11,898 --> 00:09:13,999
He's walking into a trap of my own making!
225
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,701
[Sighs] What can I do?
226
00:09:16,999 --> 00:09:18,968
Break your vow, or I break your pipe.
227
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,807
[Sighs]
228
00:09:21,808 --> 00:09:24,810
-
Bum ba-dum bum bum bum
- So, uh...
229
00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:26,311
Bum ba-dum bum bum
230
00:09:26,312 --> 00:09:29,581
So, basically, you made a deal
with the evil king,
231
00:09:29,582 --> 00:09:31,917
but that was before you fell
for the handsome knight...
232
00:09:31,918 --> 00:09:34,019
[Singing in background continues]
Fell... fell for what? Fell for him?
233
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:36,088
My child, if you argue,
I'm never gonna be able
234
00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,656
to make it back in time
for their big finish.
235
00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:39,291
[Sighs] But I need your advice.
236
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:41,059
I'm supposed to bring Galavant to the king
237
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,895
when the barking of the hounds
wakens the fairies in the evening
238
00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:45,797
so that they may begin
their nocturnal dance.
239
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:47,966
So, like 9:00?
240
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:50,369
Yeah. 9:00.
241
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,571
[Dogs howling]
242
00:09:52,572 --> 00:09:56,842
It's 9:03. Why am I the only one
who's ever on time?
243
00:09:58,344 --> 00:10:00,746
There should be a standardized system
244
00:10:00,747 --> 00:10:03,281
based on the rotation of the earth
245
00:10:03,282 --> 00:10:06,418
in relation to its position
to the sun and the moon.
246
00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:08,653
[Scoffs] You sound like a witch.
247
00:10:08,654 --> 00:10:11,890
Regardless, it is very rude of Galavant
248
00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:13,892
to be late to his own killing.
249
00:10:13,893 --> 00:10:15,861
Galavant's coming?
250
00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:17,829
The king didn't give me a head count.
251
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:19,998
Oh, I came up with the most perfect line
252
00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:21,600
for when I first see him.
253
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,069
In my most intimidating voice,
I'm going to say,
254
00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:27,472
[deep voice] "Well, well, well"...
255
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:29,040
[Normal voice] Nope. I'm gonna save it.
256
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:30,075
[Door opens]
257
00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:31,242
Oh. Here we go.
258
00:10:33,746 --> 00:10:36,014
[Deep voice] Well, well...
259
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:39,651
- [Normal voice] Where the hell's Galavant?
- There's been a change in plans.
260
00:10:39,652 --> 00:10:42,787
You'll get the jewel
and set my parents free,
261
00:10:42,788 --> 00:10:44,255
but Galavant stays alive.
262
00:10:44,256 --> 00:10:46,157
I see.
263
00:10:46,158 --> 00:10:48,193
How utterly predictable.
264
00:10:48,194 --> 00:10:51,362
The princess has fallen
for the noble knight.
265
00:10:51,363 --> 00:10:53,264
Of course she has.
266
00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:55,233
I can't let a guy like that live.
267
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,601
Well, then the deal is off.
268
00:10:56,602 --> 00:10:58,203
You'll never see the jewel again.
269
00:10:58,204 --> 00:11:01,139
You're adorable.
270
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:02,574
No, my darling.
271
00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:05,343
You see, you will bring me Galavant
272
00:11:05,344 --> 00:11:10,086
and the jewel or else
you'll suffer the same fate...
273
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:12,150
As your parents!
274
00:11:12,151 --> 00:11:13,384
[Gasps]
275
00:11:13,386 --> 00:11:16,422
- It's all right, honey.
- We're alive.
276
00:11:16,422 --> 00:11:17,344
What?!
277
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,724
The king convinced us it would be funny.
278
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,993
We've been prisoners a long time.
279
00:11:21,994 --> 00:11:23,494
We lost perspective.
280
00:11:23,495 --> 00:11:26,631
[Laughing] You should have seen your face!
281
00:11:26,632 --> 00:11:27,999
You were like, "aah!"
282
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,200
[Laughing]
283
00:11:29,201 --> 00:11:30,334
"Ooh!"
284
00:11:30,335 --> 00:11:31,969
[Sighs] Oh, but make no mistake.
285
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:33,838
If you don't bring me Galavant,
I will kill them.
286
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:36,674
For realsies.
287
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:43,558
And we're the Monks,
hey, hey, we're the Monks
288
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,293
Yeah
289
00:11:46,295 --> 00:11:47,562
What's happening?
290
00:11:47,563 --> 00:11:48,897
I'll tell you what's happening.
291
00:11:48,898 --> 00:11:50,342
Our Sid sings like a freaking angel.
292
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:52,467
No, this plan, this whole thing.
293
00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:55,337
- How did it come to this?
- Princess, relax.
294
00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:56,872
It's gonna go great.
295
00:11:56,873 --> 00:11:59,875
They already expect these guys
to perform at the castle.
296
00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:01,438
We're just gonna sneak in with them
297
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,441
and infiltrate from the inside.
298
00:12:04,146 --> 00:12:05,714
[Clears throat]
299
00:12:05,715 --> 00:12:07,716
Turns out you were right.
300
00:12:07,717 --> 00:12:09,851
As usual, I needed a better plan.
301
00:12:09,852 --> 00:12:11,186
[Sighs] Galavant...
302
00:12:11,187 --> 00:12:13,154
I'm only magnanimous once every 10 years,
303
00:12:13,155 --> 00:12:14,789
so just let this happen.
304
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:17,759
You saw the best in me and...
305
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,852
Ultimately reminded me what
it means to be a real knight.
306
00:12:22,031 --> 00:12:23,098
And here we are.
307
00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:25,567
So, thank you...
308
00:12:25,568 --> 00:12:29,838
For bringing me back to me.
309
00:12:29,839 --> 00:12:33,975
Against all the odds, it's, um...
310
00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:36,878
Well, it's been a pleasure.
311
00:12:36,879 --> 00:12:40,982
You really don't
have to thank me for anything.
312
00:12:40,983 --> 00:12:45,153
You actually have
a lot of nice qualities...
313
00:12:45,154 --> 00:12:46,388
All on your own.
314
00:12:46,389 --> 00:12:47,188
[Chuckles]
315
00:12:47,189 --> 00:12:48,857
Careful, princess.
316
00:12:48,858 --> 00:12:50,859
You're getting dangerously close
to paying me a compliment.
317
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:53,361
I can do compliments.
318
00:12:53,362 --> 00:12:56,331
I mean, you know your way around a horse,
319
00:12:56,332 --> 00:12:59,400
you're not so bad with a sword,
320
00:12:59,401 --> 00:13:02,470
and your beard magically stays
the same length all the time.
321
00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:04,005
[Chuckles]
322
00:13:04,006 --> 00:13:09,077
And... you have an ability to see
the best in people
323
00:13:09,078 --> 00:13:11,513
even after they've wronged you.
324
00:13:13,582 --> 00:13:16,417
Like with Madalena.
325
00:13:16,418 --> 00:13:18,119
Right.
326
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,787
Madalena.
327
00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:24,092
Oh, man, this robe
is really itching my junk.
328
00:13:24,093 --> 00:13:26,661
Oh, you left your clothes on underneath.
329
00:13:26,662 --> 00:13:27,829
Right.
330
00:13:29,632 --> 00:13:31,599
[Sighs]
331
00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:42,076
I hope you're pleased
with what I've shown you.
332
00:13:42,077 --> 00:13:43,578
Judging by the pressure
333
00:13:43,579 --> 00:13:46,114
and what seems like the amount
of exclamation points,
334
00:13:46,115 --> 00:13:47,949
it's a little hard to tell.
335
00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:49,717
This is the writing of a happy queen
336
00:13:49,718 --> 00:13:53,121
who's decided to take control
and set a secret, evil plan in motion.
337
00:13:53,122 --> 00:13:54,789
Ooh!
338
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:58,459
Let's keep that last part
just between the two of us.
339
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,228
For your fastest pigeon.
340
00:14:00,229 --> 00:14:04,031
This absolutely, positively
has to be there overnight.
341
00:14:04,032 --> 00:14:07,835
You upheld your end of the
bargain, so I'll uphold mine.
342
00:14:07,837 --> 00:14:10,839
You have my permission to make
the most romantic of meals tonight
343
00:14:10,839 --> 00:14:12,406
for you and my hand maiden.
344
00:14:12,407 --> 00:14:14,375
Spare no expense...
Fresh oysters, braised rabbit,
345
00:14:14,376 --> 00:14:16,277
and a nice Bordeaux
from my private cellar.
346
00:14:16,278 --> 00:14:18,379
Oh, I don't even know if she'll say yes.
347
00:14:18,380 --> 00:14:21,782
I mean, we flirt and stuff,
but when I ask her on a date, bubkes.
348
00:14:21,783 --> 00:14:24,018
God, do I have to do everything
around here?
349
00:14:24,019 --> 00:14:25,853
[Door opens] Madalena: Gwynne!
350
00:14:25,854 --> 00:14:28,289
You're having dinner tonight
with smallpox over here.
351
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,191
Yes, m'lady.
352
00:14:30,192 --> 00:14:32,393
You two aren't cousins
or anything, are you?
353
00:14:32,394 --> 00:14:35,496
Ah, who cares? You guys couldn't
get any weirder looking.
354
00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:37,131
[Door closes]
355
00:14:40,535 --> 00:14:42,403
I know a hook-up from your boss
356
00:14:42,404 --> 00:14:44,839
isn't the smoothest thing, but...
357
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,874
I don't care.
358
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:50,211
Because, truthfully, I think
we could be great together.
359
00:14:50,212 --> 00:14:53,647
But love isn't meant for people like us.
360
00:14:53,648 --> 00:14:56,484
I beg to differ.
361
00:14:59,354 --> 00:15:04,191
If I could share my life with you
362
00:15:04,192 --> 00:15:08,195
Just think how happy we'd be
363
00:15:08,196 --> 00:15:12,266
We'd share our hovel built for two
364
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:14,468
Complete with vermin for three
365
00:15:14,469 --> 00:15:16,036
[Chuckles]
366
00:15:16,037 --> 00:15:20,007
We could while away each hopeless day
367
00:15:20,008 --> 00:15:23,377
Comparing open sores
368
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:27,448
Yes, life would blow,
but much less, though
369
00:15:27,449 --> 00:15:30,718
If I could share mine with yours
370
00:15:30,719 --> 00:15:33,787
No, I can't. It's impossible!
371
00:15:33,788 --> 00:15:37,624
If I could share my life with you
372
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,627
Admit it, it would be nice
373
00:15:40,628 --> 00:15:45,265
We'd share one cot, one chamber pot
374
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:49,470
Plus trench mouth, tapeworms, and lice
375
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:52,906
We would have a dozen kids
376
00:15:52,907 --> 00:15:57,377
And maybe one won't die
377
00:15:57,378 --> 00:15:58,545
And the plague
378
00:15:58,546 --> 00:15:59,646
The runs
379
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:01,615
Invading huns
380
00:16:01,616 --> 00:16:05,219
Just think how time would fly
381
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:09,056
If you could share your life with me
382
00:16:09,057 --> 00:16:13,026
I'll Cherish every foul breath
383
00:16:13,027 --> 00:16:14,995
-
The filth
-
The rot
384
00:16:14,996 --> 00:16:17,264
The leprosy
385
00:16:17,265 --> 00:16:21,034
The painful, lingering death
386
00:16:21,035 --> 00:16:25,205
Thank the Lord our life expectancy
387
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:27,974
Is merely 32
388
00:16:30,178 --> 00:16:35,182
Yeah, it might be sweet misery
389
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:46,325
To share what's left with yo-o-o-u
390
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:50,730
So, me, you, dinner tonight, my place.
391
00:16:50,731 --> 00:16:52,332
You bring that pretty
little smile of yours,
392
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,100
and I'll supply the rest.
393
00:16:54,101 --> 00:16:56,369
Yes! [Chuckles]
394
00:17:06,414 --> 00:17:10,183
Right, princess. You ready
to get your kingdom back?
395
00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:11,818
I've been thinking.
396
00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:14,054
I can get another kingdom.
It's a buyer's market right now.
397
00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:15,522
Let's just free my parents,
398
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:16,723
get Madalena, and get us out of here.
399
00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:17,891
Absolutely not.
400
00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:20,493
When I make a promise, I keep it.
401
00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,028
We're gonna get your kingdom back.
402
00:17:22,029 --> 00:17:23,396
- But...
- Once the concert starts,
403
00:17:23,397 --> 00:17:25,732
we're gonna have about an hour
to move about the castle.
404
00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:27,133
Where do you think
they're keeping your parents?
405
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:31,070
Perhaps they're up your butt.
406
00:17:31,071 --> 00:17:34,174
Y-you see, because
that's the most unlikely place.
407
00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:37,409
I mean, obviously, her parents
couldn't be up your...
408
00:17:37,411 --> 00:17:39,245
[Deep voice] Well, well, well.
409
00:17:39,246 --> 00:17:41,714
[Normal voice] Ah, it's too late.
I had to go for the stupid butt joke.
410
00:17:41,715 --> 00:17:43,616
Forget it. Guards, just seize them.
411
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,892
Your move...
412
00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:54,961
'Cause I haven't killed anybody all day.
413
00:17:54,962 --> 00:17:57,363
Gareth, we agreed
I would say the cool things.
414
00:17:57,364 --> 00:18:00,428
- So, what's it gonna be?
- Damn it, Gareth!
415
00:18:01,607 --> 00:18:02,769
Fine.
416
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:04,036
Galavant, no!
417
00:18:04,037 --> 00:18:05,705
Now let her go.
418
00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:07,507
She had nothing to do with this.
419
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:10,443
You are so noble.
420
00:18:10,444 --> 00:18:12,111
And yet the women in your life
421
00:18:12,112 --> 00:18:13,880
never seem to honor that nobility.
422
00:18:13,881 --> 00:18:17,083
In fact, this one tricked you
into coming all the way here
423
00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:18,518
so I could kill you.
424
00:18:21,555 --> 00:18:22,588
What?
425
00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:26,726
[Deep voice] Well, well, well...
426
00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:29,462
Looks like it's time for dinner.
427
00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:32,264
- Nailed it.
- Boom.
428
00:18:35,254 --> 00:18:39,087
But... what the... all that time...
429
00:18:39,089 --> 00:18:41,157
He may not be able to talk, but I can.
430
00:18:41,158 --> 00:18:42,792
This is messed up, princess!
431
00:18:42,794 --> 00:18:44,962
I didn't have a choice.
He was going to kill my parents.
432
00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,162
Shut up!
433
00:18:47,498 --> 00:18:50,800
Well, seems like you kids
have lots to talk about.
434
00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:52,702
I'll let you get to it.
435
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,137
Oh, but do hurry.
436
00:18:54,138 --> 00:18:56,606
I'm executing Galavant in 10 minutes. Hmm.
437
00:18:56,607 --> 00:18:59,342
It's nice to finally
have people down here.
438
00:18:59,343 --> 00:19:00,810
Feels lived in.
439
00:19:00,811 --> 00:19:04,180
I'm so sorry.
I wanted to tell you, but I...
440
00:19:04,181 --> 00:19:06,315
But what?
441
00:19:06,316 --> 00:19:08,139
You didn't have time?
442
00:19:08,185 --> 00:19:09,886
Not in the hundreds of miles we traveled
443
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,587
or the meals we shared?
444
00:19:11,588 --> 00:19:15,858
In retrospect, the trip
through the forest of honesty
445
00:19:15,859 --> 00:19:17,360
would have seemed like
an appropriate time.
446
00:19:17,361 --> 00:19:18,928
[Sighs] But my family.
447
00:19:18,929 --> 00:19:22,699
Well, perhaps if you'd told me,
we could have made a plan.
448
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,834
[Scoffs] And you would have helped me?
449
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:26,969
Even if you had nothing to gain from it?
450
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:30,907
I guess we'll never find out.
451
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,376
[Door opens]
452
00:19:33,377 --> 00:19:35,778
If even a single ounce of you was real,
453
00:19:35,779 --> 00:19:37,346
just tell me one thing...
454
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,282
Did Madalena want me to come for her?
455
00:19:39,283 --> 00:19:41,584
I don't know.
456
00:19:45,389 --> 00:19:46,522
No!
457
00:19:48,459 --> 00:19:50,726
[Humming]
458
00:20:09,212 --> 00:20:11,814
Not so tough, are you now,
459
00:20:11,815 --> 00:20:12,848
Galavan...
460
00:20:14,198 --> 00:20:15,084
Aah!!
461
00:20:15,085 --> 00:20:17,186
Aah!!
462
00:20:23,794 --> 00:20:26,595
Hello, darling.
463
00:20:26,596 --> 00:20:28,097
Madalena?
464
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:34,103
There's braised rabbit
and Bordeaux, your favorites.
465
00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:36,739
You saved me?
466
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,707
Oh, I've done a lot more than that.
467
00:20:44,347 --> 00:20:46,482
We have a lot of catching up to do.
468
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:51,153
I've written someone,
469
00:20:51,154 --> 00:20:53,856
and he's coming to execute my plan.
470
00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:55,758
He doesn't play nice.
471
00:20:59,362 --> 00:21:01,515
Everything's about to change.
472
00:21:01,516 --> 00:21:03,516
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
473
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:08,116
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