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1
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:39,960
Hello?
2
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,400
Hi, Dad.
3
00:00:43,401 --> 00:00:44,959
Move out of the way, please!
4
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,159
Nice to see you too.
5
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,119
Er, hello?
6
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,119
Hi. Hi.
7
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,200
What's with the music?
8
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:53,200
Mum, flowers on the side
or on the table?
9
00:00:53,201 --> 00:00:53,640
Table.
10
00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:54,719
OK.
11
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,199
Flowers on the table?
12
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,959
Yeah, excuse me!
Put the flowers on the...
13
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,439
I'm doing it.
14
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,759
Hello, Dad. God, Dad looks smart.
15
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,679
Jonny, can you... Oh, hi, Adam.
16
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,600
Can you open
a bottle of wine, please?
17
00:01:05,601 --> 00:01:06,799
Sure.
18
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,879
A nice bottle!
19
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,159
Right.
20
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,200
A nice bottle?
21
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,840
Um, what is physically happening?
22
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,639
What's...
23
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,200
Why are there Mum's posh bowls?
24
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:22,720
A single rose?
25
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,360
And... is that somebody
playing the lute?
26
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,439
Is the Lord Mayor coming
or something?
27
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,720
No, not the Lord Mayor.
Red or white?
28
00:01:30,721 --> 00:01:32,199
Red!
29
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,039
Wait a minute... there are
five knives and forks there.
30
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,160
Why are there five?
31
00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:40,919
Are there? One, two, three,
four, five. Oh, yeah!
32
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:41,880
So who's...
33
00:01:41,881 --> 00:01:43,080
Move!
34
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,199
Sorry, why is the house like bloody
Hampton Court all of a sudden?
35
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,440
Who is coming round?
36
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:52,439
The house looks nice, doesn't it?
Don't eat any more bread.
37
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:53,999
Yes, it's very nice but...
38
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,879
Doesn't Mum's hair look lovely?
39
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,799
Ah, thanks, darling!
40
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,079
OK, in a moment I am literally going
to puncture one of your lungs!
41
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,199
Put that down!
42
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,120
Can you just tell me who's...
43
00:02:04,121 --> 00:02:04,800
Jeez, is that the door?
44
00:02:04,801 --> 00:02:05,959
I'll get it.
45
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,920
Who is it?
46
00:02:06,921 --> 00:02:07,999
I'll get it!
47
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,079
Just tell me who it is!
48
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,959
Promise me you won't get annoyed?
49
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,160
You are so going to love this.
50
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,959
Hello, Tanya. Oh, you look nice.
51
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,279
Thank you.
52
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,759
Oh, my God, it's Tanya Green?
53
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,000
I can't believe it!
She's invited Tanya Green round?
54
00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:24,559
Yep.
55
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,240
For dinner?
56
00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:26,160
Er, dinner date.
57
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:27,239
What?
58
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,920
A dinner date.
In front of your entire family.
59
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,440
You've met Martin.
60
00:02:33,441 --> 00:02:34,799
Yes, hello.
61
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,360
Pardon?
62
00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:36,399
Hello.
63
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,399
Yes, hello.
64
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,439
This is Jonny.
65
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,839
I'm the cool one.
66
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:40,600
Hi.
67
00:02:40,601 --> 00:02:44,440
And this is my eldest son, Adam.
68
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,799
Hello.
69
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,359
Hello.
70
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,480
Do you remember Adam, at all?
71
00:02:49,481 --> 00:02:51,079
Um, not very well.
72
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,120
He is quite forgettable.
73
00:02:52,121 --> 00:02:53,679
Thank you.
74
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,079
Tanya's joining us for Friday
night dinner, isn't that nice?
75
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,279
Yes, very. Um, Mum, can we just...
76
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,600
Aren't you going
to give her a kiss then?
77
00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:02,039
What?
78
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,560
A kiss hello.
79
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,879
Go on.
80
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,800
Um...
81
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,679
Excuse my son - no manners.
82
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,080
It's OK!
83
00:03:15,081 --> 00:03:17,119
He's just very shy.
84
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,559
OK, shall we um...?
85
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,760
Mum, can we just...
86
00:03:19,761 --> 00:03:23,680
Jonny, take Tanya's coat, would you?
One sec, love.
87
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,040
What?
88
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,120
Why didn't you tell me
Tanya Green was invited?
89
00:03:31,121 --> 00:03:32,519
What?
90
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,720
Why didn't you tell me
Tanya Green was coming?
91
00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:35,199
I did tell you.
92
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,399
No you didn't.
93
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,439
Didn't I?
94
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,959
You know you bloody didn't!
95
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,880
Er, we can all
sort of hear you.
96
00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:42,119
Coming!
97
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,559
Stop it, Adam!
98
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,559
OK, right.
99
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,479
Lovely. So, Tanya,
if you'd like to come through?
100
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,799
Thank you.
101
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,479
Yes, move along, move along.
Females first.
102
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,000
Yep, females first.
103
00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,879
If you sit over there
and, Adam, if you sit...
104
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,439
No, Martin.
105
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,200
What?
106
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,479
Oh, yes, yes,
I'm meant to sit over there, yes!
107
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,559
No, you're meant to sit
next to...
108
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,959
Tanya.
109
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,039
Brilliant.
110
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,680
Go on, Adam, sit down.
111
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,799
Hello.
112
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,919
Hello again.
113
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,960
There.
114
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,639
Isn't this nice?
115
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,159
Thanks again for inviting me.
116
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,239
Pleasure.
117
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,559
It's funny because I didn't know you
were coming at all, did I, Mum?
118
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,839
Mmm? Crisp?
119
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,360
Ooh, thank you.
120
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:37,439
Oh, your bloody phone!
121
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,999
All right!
122
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,199
So rude.
123
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:41,880
How's Mum?
124
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,280
Fine. She sends her love.
125
00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:44,759
Ahh. And Dad?
126
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,799
Good.
127
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:47,999
Dickwad.
128
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,279
What?
129
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,479
Um, nothing.
130
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,079
Have you, er, travelled far?
131
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,159
Sorry, have I travelled far?
132
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,599
Dad's from 18th century.
133
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,319
Martin, she's Joan's daughter.
They live in Elstree.
134
00:04:59,320 --> 00:04:59,880
A tree?
135
00:04:59,881 --> 00:05:00,600
Amazing.
136
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,679
In Elstree!
137
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,560
Yes, in Elstree but in a tree!
138
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,639
Hasn't she got a lovely
sense of humour?
139
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,759
Yes.
140
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,799
The last time me and Adam were
together we were in our nappies.
141
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,759
Ahh.
142
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,400
And he's wearing them tonight.
143
00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,239
Very good.
144
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,320
I think the last time you were
together was in the bath.
145
00:05:16,321 --> 00:05:17,439
Mum!
146
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,119
What?
147
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,599
Oh, you two were so sweet back then,
like two little buttons!
148
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,879
Please!
149
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,959
Where are the baby photos?
150
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,479
Ooh, the baby photos!
151
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,799
Tanya doesn't want to see
the baby photos.
152
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,119
Doesn't she? You want to see
the baby photos, don't you, Tanya?
153
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,679
Oh, yeah, I love old photos.
154
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,599
Hmm, they're here somewhere.
155
00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:38,160
Ooh, excuse me.
156
00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:38,999
Martin!
157
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,600
Nice one, Dad.
158
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:40,600
Sorry, Tanya.
159
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,439
I think I ate too much parsley.
160
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,759
Parsley?
When were you eating parsley?
161
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,239
Hmm?
162
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,840
I'm going to go and get a drink.
Anyone...
163
00:05:47,841 --> 00:05:49,759
Here they are!
164
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,839
Great.
165
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:54,359
Oh, look!
166
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,840
Oh, my God, I look like a potato!
167
00:05:55,841 --> 00:05:59,239
You don't look like a potato!
You were a beautiful baby!
168
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,639
Oh, I love this one.
169
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,839
Me in the bath. Good. Excellent.
170
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:03,400
Why are you standing up?
171
00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:07,039
He was always standing in the bath -
such an exhibitionist.
172
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,480
OK, does Tanya really
have to see my... you know...
173
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:11,039
Little button?
174
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,679
Right, I'm going to go, um, Mum? Mum?
175
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,479
One minute, love.
176
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,359
Oh, look, more bath time!
177
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:21,720
More standing up!
178
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:24,919
Lovely girl!
179
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,239
What are you doing?
180
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,799
What am I doing?
Oh, I'm going.
181
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,719
Going? Don't be so stupid!
182
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,560
I'm not being stupid, I'm going home.
183
00:06:31,561 --> 00:06:33,400
You're bloody not.
No, take that off!
184
00:06:33,401 --> 00:06:35,039
Get off me!
185
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,039
Let go of me!
186
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,199
No, I will not let go! What is
wrong with you? She's a lovely girl.
187
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,080
Lovely girl.
188
00:06:40,081 --> 00:06:41,200
Can't believe you're
doing this to me!
189
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,480
Do what to you?
190
00:06:42,481 --> 00:06:46,239
Jonny, don't leave Dad with her,
he'll start talking about Isaac Newton.
191
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:50,959
He also invented, er, the first
practical reflecting telescope.
192
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,039
Right.
193
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,359
So, you just phoned her up and asked
her round, like, all on her own?
194
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:55,960
Yes, what's wrong with that?
195
00:06:55,961 --> 00:06:58,919
What and you just
happened to have her number?
196
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,519
Yes, her mobile. Val gave it to me.
Oh, isn't she a lovely girl?
197
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,079
Please stop saying
what a lovely girl she is?
198
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,719
She is a lovely girl. Ow!
199
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:07,520
You really don't know
how embarrassing this is!
200
00:07:07,521 --> 00:07:09,239
We do.
201
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,160
Shut up, Jonny!
202
00:07:10,161 --> 00:07:11,560
Seriously, I'm going home.
203
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,840
You are not going anywhere.
204
00:07:14,841 --> 00:07:17,639
You have a guest and you are
going to bloody talk to her.
205
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,879
Now, grow up!
206
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,719
Grow up? She just saw my cock!
My little baby co...
207
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,080
Oh, sorry. Um, I just wondered
where the toilet was.
208
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,399
Ooh, hi, Tanya!
No, it's just through there.
209
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,199
Thanks.
210
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,200
No problem.
211
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,840
Well, do you fancy the girl?
212
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,639
But the theory goes that it
was actually a kidney stone
213
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,199
that finally killed him.
214
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,000
Oh, I see.
215
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,799
1727.
216
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,879
It was a tragedy.
217
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,119
Dad.
218
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,279
Martin, Tanya really
doesn't want to hear
219
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,600
about Isaac Newton's kidney stones
when she's eating!
220
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,119
Oh, it's OK.
221
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,559
Bet they were delicious!
222
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,360
Yeah, but not as delicious as this
lovely bit of squirrel! Eh, Tina?
223
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,319
It's Tanya.
224
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,280
Oh, yes, Tanya.
225
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,599
So, um, you're a musician?
226
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:13,880
Failed musician.
227
00:08:13,881 --> 00:08:15,759
Ignore him, he's an estate agent.
228
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:16,320
Yeah, it's called a proper job.
229
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,440
For proper losers.
230
00:08:17,441 --> 00:08:19,479
My Dad's an estate agent.
231
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,599
Right and, er,
what company does he...
232
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,160
Jonny, pass Tanya some more
vegetables, would you?
233
00:08:23,161 --> 00:08:25,439
Thanks.
234
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,839
Yeah, so,
what sort of music do you do?
235
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,240
Oh, he's had hit after hit.
236
00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:33,159
Thank you. Um, mainly stuff for
advertising campaigns and things.
237
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,000
He's a jingle writer.
238
00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:34,480
Composer.
239
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,440
Of jingles.
240
00:08:35,441 --> 00:08:36,479
Pusface?
241
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,480
Er, no thanks.
242
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:42,759
What?
243
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,759
Um... nope, er, nothing.
244
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,199
So, um, your music -
would I have heard any of it?
245
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,079
Um...
246
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,159
There was that one
for diarrhoea tablets.
247
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:52,760
Dishwasher tablets.
248
00:08:52,761 --> 00:08:54,719
Jonny!
249
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,439
Adam, why don't you ask
Tanya a bit about herself?
250
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,880
Thanks, Mum. I do know how
to talk to other humans.
251
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:04,560
Martin!
252
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:05,639
Dad!
253
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,399
Can you please stop burping?
254
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,240
Sorry, it's all that
parsley I had.
255
00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,559
Sorry, when were you
eating all this parsley?
256
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:12,359
Hmm?
257
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,639
When were you eating parsley?
258
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,000
Earlier. I fancied a bit.
259
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:17,439
What, raw parsley?
260
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,200
Well, I only had a couple of sprigs.
261
00:09:19,201 --> 00:09:20,320
I do apologise.
262
00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:21,879
It's fine, honest.
263
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,879
Er, so, you work for Coke, don't you?
Coca Cola?
264
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,239
Yeah, I do, like, marketing
and PR, you know.
265
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,479
Ooh, Coca Cola. Wonderful business.
266
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,919
I mean the owners must be
multi-millionaires.
267
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,959
Obviously they're
multi-millionaires.
268
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:37,680
Sorry?
269
00:09:37,681 --> 00:09:40,599
Obviously, the owners of Coca Cola
are multi-millionaires.
270
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,519
Are they multi-millionaires?
271
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,639
Um, I think so, yeah.
272
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,120
See?
273
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,279
So where do you work then? America?
274
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,319
Um... England.
275
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,520
England. Right, right.
276
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,679
Well, England's a...
fabulous country.
277
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,119
Yes, it's very nice.
278
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,399
Course,
you know what they used to call us?
279
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,479
What?
280
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,040
You know what they used to call us,
England?
281
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,159
No, what was that?
282
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,679
Perfidious Albion.
283
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:11,479
Dad!
284
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,639
Martin!
285
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,879
Sorry, perfi... what did you say?
286
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:15,440
Sorry?
287
00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:16,480
What did he say?
288
00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:17,919
Er, Perfidious Albion.
289
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,799
Perfidious Albion, yes.
290
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,839
Um, what is Perfidious Albion?
291
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,760
Well, it's what
they used to call us.
292
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:25,199
Oh.
293
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,680
In other words...
we weren't very popular.
294
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,560
Mmm.
295
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,279
Pass us the pickled cucumber
would you? Perfidious Albion!
296
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,560
There's no point, it doesn't open.
297
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,160
Ooh, no, it's stuck.
298
00:10:56,161 --> 00:10:57,759
I told you.
299
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,320
Here, let me have a go.
300
00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:00,039
What, Mr Muscles?
301
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,079
Ignore him. So, er, marketing and PR?
302
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,119
Yeah.
303
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,280
Do you want to stand up
and try that?
304
00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:06,440
No, I'm OK, thanks.
305
00:11:06,441 --> 00:11:06,880
You sure?
306
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:08,080
Yes, quite sure.
307
00:11:08,081 --> 00:11:10,399
I'm telling you all,
it doesn't open!
308
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,319
So why did you put it out then?
309
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,639
Because it's Friday night
and we've got a guest.
310
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,839
It's fine,
I'm not really a pickle person.
311
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,359
A pickle person!
312
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,719
Here, I'll do it.
313
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,800
Oh, of course, Mr Muscles.
314
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:22,759
Jesus!
315
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,239
Jonny, it doesn't open.
316
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,999
I'm going to get it this time.
317
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,759
That's right, use the full force
of those powerful legs.
318
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,680
He's so gay.
319
00:11:30,681 --> 00:11:32,519
Stop it now, you'll hurt yourself.
320
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,479
No, keep going.
321
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,600
Jonny, please, stop!
You'll have a heart attack!
322
00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:38,959
No, keep going, have a heart attack.
323
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,480
Jonny!
324
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,520
It's nearly there...
325
00:11:40,521 --> 00:11:42,239
Arrrrghhh! Aaargh!
326
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,440
Oh, my God, sorry! I'm sorry!
327
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:46,559
Oh, are you all right? Jonny!
328
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:47,960
It wasn't me, it was the jar!
329
00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:49,439
You shitting idiot!
330
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,640
Martin!
Sorry, Ad.
331
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:52,799
Oh, my nose!
332
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,799
Oh, has he just...
333
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,519
No, of course I haven't!
334
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000
I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding!
335
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:04,199
Put your nose under the tap.
You are an idiot!
336
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,840
I'm going to kill you,
you bastard!
337
00:12:05,841 --> 00:12:06,880
It wasn't me, it was the jar.
338
00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:09,559
Careful you don't drown him, Martin!
339
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,720
It's hot water!
What?
340
00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:13,519
That's hot water,
you're burning my nose!
341
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,519
You're burning his nose!
Argh! Cold water!
342
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,120
Hot water! Hot water!
Is that better?
343
00:12:17,121 --> 00:12:18,120
It's hotter!
344
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,999
One second, love.
345
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,159
Um... Someone's at the front door.
346
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,239
Cold water!
347
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,959
Ooh, hello, Jackie.
348
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,799
Um, I'm not Jackie.
349
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,559
No, of course you're not! Silly me.
350
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:50,599
No, Jackie has got a completely
different face. And body.
351
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,359
Yes. Jackie?
352
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,319
No, you're a visitor?
353
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,679
I guess so.
354
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,120
I suppose we're all
visitors in a way,
355
00:13:00,121 --> 00:13:03,959
visiting this plane of existence.
356
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,280
Right.
357
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,639
That's a nice dog.
358
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,719
Is he? Yes, yes. Yes, he is.
359
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,760
Mrs Goodman?
360
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,199
Sorry, love. Oh, hello, Jim.
361
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,959
Hi, Jackie! You look... Wet.
362
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:26,639
What? Oh, um, Tanya,
why don't you go inside?
363
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,680
Yeah, sure.
364
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,960
She's a visitor.
365
00:13:30,961 --> 00:13:32,079
Sorry?
366
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,119
You know what you are?
A bloody arsehole.
367
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,759
Adam! Am I?
368
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,799
No, not you, no. You see, he's just
had a nosebleed... Listen, Jim,
369
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,839
Tanya's here at the moment
so maybe if you came back later...
370
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,039
That's the problem, you see.
371
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,319
Problem?
372
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,319
I'm sort of locked out. Oh.
373
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,799
Sort of lost my front door key.
374
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,239
Sort of?
Yes.
375
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,239
Do you know where you lost it?
376
00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,719
Yes. Inside Wilson.
377
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,719
Inside Wilson?
Hmm. Swallowed it.
378
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,680
Oh.
Yes, we were playing a sort of game
379
00:14:04,681 --> 00:14:07,399
and it sort of went a bit wrong.
380
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,359
Oh, dear. Well, does
anyone else have a key?
381
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,999
Yes, my brother does.
Great!
382
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,039
But he's in Uganda.
383
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:18,520
Oh, right. Um, so how are you
going to... get it back?
384
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,280
Well, I suppose I'll just
have to wait outside here
385
00:14:23,281 --> 00:14:29,079
until he's, you know, ready.
386
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,799
Ready?
387
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,200
Perhaps you could get me some
old newspaper to put down for
388
00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:34,760
when he, you know...
389
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,160
Ooh, and Jackie?
What?
390
00:14:40,161 --> 00:14:41,600
Maybe a wet flannel.
391
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,040
Excellent crumble, Mum.
392
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,280
Mmm, it's delicious.
393
00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:51,799
Thanks. There's more
cream if anyone wants.
394
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,399
Ooh, I wouldn't mind.
395
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,799
Adam?
396
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,080
I love crumble.
397
00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:59,159
Ah, everyone loves crumble.
Crimble crumble!
398
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,679
Crimble crumble!
Crimble crumble!
399
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,760
Crimble crumble.
400
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,959
Hello, everyone.
401
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,519
Aw, are you all right now, Bobble?
402
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,439
Yeah. Are you OK?
403
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,079
Sorry.
404
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,879
No, it's OK.
405
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,920
Adam, do you know you've got
a piece of tissue up your nose?
406
00:15:14,921 --> 00:15:17,759
Yes, I do know, Dad, thank you.
407
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,719
It is a good look though.
408
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,199
Oh I'm mad, the tea! How about a nice
cup of tea, everyone? Tanya?
409
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,680
Oh, yes please, if you're making.
410
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:27,319
Of course, love. Jonny,
put the kettle on would you?
411
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,679
Me?
412
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,679
Ha ha! Actually no, I'll do it.
He'll only put bleach in my cup or something.
413
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,920
Bleach and two sugars?
414
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,440
Oh! Sorry.
415
00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:52,439
Jesus, Dad!
416
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,519
All right, calm down. It's not
like I was going to molest you.
417
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,520
Right, thank you. That's good to
know.
418
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,399
What do you want? Hmm?
419
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,919
What do you want?
420
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,160
What do I want?
421
00:16:04,161 --> 00:16:06,239
Yes. Nothing. Nothing.
422
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:12,719
OK. You know, this could take
some time so you might want to...
423
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:13,880
No, no, it's fine.
424
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,960
So um, the er, the er...
425
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,919
The what?
426
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,519
The girl?
427
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,039
The girl? She does
have a name, you know.
428
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,399
Yes, but it got rubbed off.
429
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,159
All right then, the female.
430
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,839
Female? No, actually,
stick with girl.
431
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,520
Didn't I tell you
she's a lovely girl?
432
00:16:35,521 --> 00:16:36,759
Lovely girl.
433
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,359
Yes, she's very nice.
Now can we just leave...
434
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,559
Pretty as well.
435
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,879
Yep, all right. She is quite pretty.
436
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,319
I would!
437
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,479
Jonny, go back in there.
Coming, Tanya!
438
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,679
Just saying I would.
439
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,079
She's a pretty girl,
isn't she, Martin?
440
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,880
Very pretty. Nice bum.
441
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,280
I'm glad you noticed.
442
00:16:57,281 --> 00:17:01,479
Right, can you just leave me now?
I can make tea on my own, you know?
443
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:06,119
Oh, there's no milk. Adam, go
round the corner for me, would you?
444
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,599
What? Go round the corner?
445
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,759
Yeah. You can ask Tanya
to go with you.
446
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,000
Don't be ridiculous, I'm not
going to ask Tanya to go...
447
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:14,119
Tanya?
448
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,760
Oh!
449
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,519
You're still here?
450
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,240
Yes, still here. Just waiting.
Come on, come on, Wilson.
451
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,760
Right, well we're just going to...
452
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,679
Ah. That's why you're visiting.
You're Jonny's girlfriend.
453
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,999
Adam's! I'm Adam!
454
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,839
Adam's girlfriend.
455
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,800
Um, I'm not.
She's not my girlfriend.
456
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:42,840
Not yet. Hi, Jim.
457
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,599
Thanks, Jonny. Any time.
458
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,039
No, we're just friends.
459
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,080
Yeah, we're just friends.
460
00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:49,600
Friends. It's nice to have friends.
461
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,680
OK, shall we...? Yeah, sure.
462
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,520
That's it Wilson, come on.
Squeeze! Squeeze!
463
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,360
He's really not funny.
He is a bit funny.
464
00:18:06,361 --> 00:18:10,160
No, I think the correct word to
describe my brother is tit.
465
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,999
Tanya, can I ask you something?
466
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,319
Sure, what?
467
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,239
It's something that
I really want to know.
468
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,799
OK.
469
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,760
Do you think this has been the most
awkward, embarrassing evening ever?
470
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,880
Yes, definitely!
471
00:18:25,881 --> 00:18:27,599
Good. Glad I'm not the only one.
472
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,759
Actually, I'm trying to think
what could possibly make it even more awkward and embarrassing.
473
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,640
It's probably my mum.
Checking up on you?
474
00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:35,960
Probably. No, it's your mum.
475
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:39,279
Is it? What does it say?
476
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:44,080
"Please remind Adam to
get some condoms."
477
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,680
That might not have
been from my mum.
478
00:18:46,681 --> 00:18:49,400
Right.
479
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,240
There.
480
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,239
Nice walk?
481
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,559
Um...
482
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,879
There.
483
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,000
Everything all right, Jim?
484
00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,959
Yes, all done. See? Got the key.
485
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,639
Great. Well done.
486
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,520
Thanks, Jackie. Just no one
go near this stick.
487
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:16,880
Come in, love.
488
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,919
Ooh, Jonny?
489
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,960
Adam! What?
490
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,519
So, this friend?
491
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,279
Tanya.
492
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:36,279
Tanya. She's a woman, isn't she?
493
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,439
Um, yes.
494
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,279
I knew this woman once.
495
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,240
Did you?
496
00:19:41,241 --> 00:19:42,959
Oh yes. We met in a cave.
497
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,720
Right.
Then there was the other one.
498
00:19:44,721 --> 00:19:46,639
The other one?
499
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,039
You remember the other one,
don't you? The angry lady?
500
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,799
OK, I'm just going to go...
501
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,479
Yes, women...
502
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:56,599
Adam?
503
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,039
Coming!
504
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,399
Your mother's a woman.
505
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,520
Right, well thanks, Jim.
506
00:20:01,521 --> 00:20:07,439
If I may, one little piece
of advice vis-a-vis women.
507
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,600
OK...
508
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,880
Never...
509
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,560
OK, I'll try to remember that.
Thanks again, Jim.
510
00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:22,240
Don't mention it.
Bye, Adam... Jonny.
511
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,400
Hm...
512
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,120
Here, love.
513
00:20:33,121 --> 00:20:35,839
Thanks. And thanks
for a lovely evening.
514
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,519
Oh, you're welcome. It has been
lovely, hasn't it, Adam?
515
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,799
Yes, Mum.
516
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,680
You know, we really
must do this again.
517
00:20:42,681 --> 00:20:45,120
Oh, Adam, get the milk,
would you? I've left it inside.
518
00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:47,919
Sorry, I'm really
not getting up again.
519
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,119
I'll go. It's his arthritis.
520
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:51,240
Ha-ha! Of the balls.
521
00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:52,439
Jonny!
522
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,559
Um, excuse me. I just need
to use the bathroom.
523
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,440
Course.
524
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,120
She does have a nice bum.
525
00:21:00,121 --> 00:21:01,439
Martin!
526
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,479
By the way, I want to thank you both
for such a wonderful evening.
527
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,559
My pleasure.
528
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,599
No, seriously. Great night!
529
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,040
Well, perhaps next time you can
find your own bloody girlfriend.
530
00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:11,799
Adam? What?
531
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,199
I think she likes you.
532
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,319
Who?
533
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,399
Who? Who do you think?
The girl, the female.
534
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,559
Female.
535
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,600
She does!
536
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,399
Really? Do you think?
537
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,280
She's a lovely girl.
538
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,759
Oh, where is that milk? Jonny?
539
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,479
I'll get it, it's all right.
540
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,799
Use a jug, we've got a guest.
541
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,960
A jug. Pissface?
542
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,400
They've got...!
The bloody shits. Mum!
543
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:12,159
What? What is it?
544
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,080
What?
545
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,240
Lovely girl.
546
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,040
Subtitles by
Red Bee Media Ltd
547
00:22:34,090 --> 00:22:38,640
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36076
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