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1
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:36,939
All right, Pusface?
2
00:00:36,992 --> 00:00:37,471
Shh!
3
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,510
What are you doing?
4
00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:38,950
Come here!
5
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:39,345
What?
6
00:00:40,271 --> 00:00:40,990
Quickly.
7
00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:42,310
What are you looking at?
8
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,669
Dad's got no top on.
9
00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:44,749
He never has a top on.
10
00:00:44,749 --> 00:00:47,108
Yeah, but...
11
00:00:47,109 --> 00:00:48,228
Shit.
12
00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:51,787
He's been doing that for ages,
he just keeps on looking and looking.
13
00:00:51,787 --> 00:00:53,066
Why's he looking at his...?
14
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:55,946
I don't know. It's not good, though.
It's funny, but it's not good.
15
00:00:55,946 --> 00:00:58,265
It's definitely not good.
16
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,785
Whoah! Magnifying glass?
17
00:01:00,785 --> 00:01:01,824
A new development.
18
00:01:01,825 --> 00:01:02,744
Why does he need it magnified?
19
00:01:02,744 --> 00:01:04,383
I really don't want to know.
20
00:01:04,384 --> 00:01:06,823
So, what?
This just means it's very small?
21
00:01:06,823 --> 00:01:08,862
Or very thin?
22
00:01:08,863 --> 00:01:10,182
Lice?
23
00:01:10,182 --> 00:01:13,221
Mice?
24
00:01:13,221 --> 00:01:15,900
Shit. Mum!
25
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,100
What are they saying?
26
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:21,099
He's probably not saying he's been
looking at his cock for half an hour.
27
00:01:22,339 --> 00:01:23,698
Oi! I know what it is.
28
00:01:23,698 --> 00:01:24,817
Go on.
29
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,417
Dad's grown another one.
30
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:27,457
Nice. Two of them.
31
00:01:27,457 --> 00:01:29,416
Yeah, stereo.
32
00:01:29,417 --> 00:01:31,496
Hello, bambinos!
33
00:01:31,496 --> 00:01:32,535
Hi, Dad.
34
00:01:32,536 --> 00:01:33,695
What's so funny?
35
00:01:33,696 --> 00:01:35,175
Nothing. How are you?
36
00:01:35,175 --> 00:01:36,254
What?
37
00:01:36,255 --> 00:01:37,294
How are you?
38
00:01:37,295 --> 00:01:38,454
Oh, yeah, fine. Fine.
39
00:01:38,454 --> 00:01:39,933
Shut the door. Hi, boys!
40
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:40,493
Hi, Mum.
41
00:01:40,494 --> 00:01:41,533
Yeah, move along.
42
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,012
Are you switched on today?
43
00:01:43,013 --> 00:01:43,532
What?
44
00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:44,932
Are you switched on today?
45
00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:47,771
Oh, yes, sorry.
My hearing machine's not quite...
46
00:01:47,772 --> 00:01:48,851
Two penises.
47
00:01:49,891 --> 00:01:51,370
Are you sure you're OK?
48
00:01:51,371 --> 00:01:52,730
Yeah, it's just my knee.
49
00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:53,769
Your knee?
50
00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,329
Bloody knee. What's so funny?
51
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:58,329
He still going on about
his bloody knee? Hello, darling.
52
00:01:58,329 --> 00:01:59,368
Hi, Mum.
53
00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:01,807
All right, Mum.
Your hair looks nice.
54
00:02:01,808 --> 00:02:03,527
Thanks. Yours looks horrible.
55
00:02:03,527 --> 00:02:04,566
I just need the loo.
56
00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:08,046
Yes. Goodbye, Martin.
57
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:10,285
So, no Alison?
58
00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:11,964
Oh, yeah. Where's your girlfriend?
59
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,004
She couldn't come.
60
00:02:13,005 --> 00:02:14,524
Because she doesn't exist?
61
00:02:14,524 --> 00:02:16,523
Very funny. She sorry.
She's with a friend.
62
00:02:16,524 --> 00:02:17,803
Simon?
63
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:18,562
Ooh, nice soup.
64
00:02:18,563 --> 00:02:19,442
Simon?
65
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,002
Yes.
66
00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:20,482
Her boyfriend.
67
00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:21,521
Shut up.
68
00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:23,201
Definitely sleeping together.
69
00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:24,001
At least I've got a girlfriend.
70
00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:25,360
True.
71
00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:27,160
Who you share with another man.
72
00:02:27,161 --> 00:02:29,600
Aw!
73
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,599
Excuse me.
74
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,514
Ah, gotcha!
75
00:02:48,514 --> 00:02:52,513
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
76
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:57,272
Gotcha!
77
00:02:59,391 --> 00:03:00,350
This is amazing, Mum.
78
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:01,870
Thanks, darling.
79
00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:05,870
Very nice, Jackie.
Lovely bit of squirrel.
80
00:03:11,948 --> 00:03:13,547
So, you like my hair, then?
81
00:03:13,547 --> 00:03:15,386
Yep.
82
00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,466
I had it done.
83
00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:17,666
Your mother had her hair done.
84
00:03:17,666 --> 00:03:18,705
We know.
85
00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:20,425
She had a flaky scalp.
86
00:03:20,425 --> 00:03:21,344
Martin.
87
00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:22,304
Oh, Dad!
88
00:03:22,305 --> 00:03:24,024
Thanks for telling them.
89
00:03:24,024 --> 00:03:25,303
It's not in the food, is it?
90
00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:26,063
Thank you very much.
91
00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:27,343
But...
92
00:03:27,344 --> 00:03:31,143
I'll get some moreketchup,
then, shall I?
93
00:03:31,142 --> 00:03:32,381
Nice one, Dad.
94
00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:36,381
But I found flakes!
95
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:39,500
So, Dad, you hurt your knee?
96
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,699
My what?
97
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,819
Your knee.
98
00:03:41,819 --> 00:03:42,818
What about my knee?
99
00:03:42,819 --> 00:03:44,058
You hurt it?
100
00:03:44,059 --> 00:03:46,738
Did I? Oh, yes, yes.
101
00:03:46,738 --> 00:03:48,897
So, um,
102
00:03:48,897 --> 00:03:50,416
how did you do it?
103
00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:52,016
What?
104
00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:53,096
How did you do it?
105
00:03:53,096 --> 00:03:55,575
Um... Banged it.
106
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:58,655
Oh. On what?
107
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,894
My other knee.
108
00:03:59,894 --> 00:04:02,293
Right.
109
00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:04,453
Here, Your Lordship.
110
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:08,452
Ooh, lovely. Tomato blood.
111
00:04:09,212 --> 00:04:11,891
Mum, good news.
My thing's on tonight.
112
00:04:11,891 --> 00:04:12,930
What thing?
113
00:04:12,931 --> 00:04:14,250
The music I did for that ad?
That jingle?
114
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,729
That he didn't get paid for.
115
00:04:15,730 --> 00:04:16,649
They took me out for lunch.
116
00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:17,729
Sorry, paid in potatoes.
117
00:04:17,729 --> 00:04:19,568
Shut up, Jonny! It's on tonight?
118
00:04:19,569 --> 00:04:21,328
Later, on the radio.
It's not a big deal.
119
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:25,327
Oh, that's wonderful, Bobble!
120
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:34,965
You're going to do so well.
121
00:04:35,404 --> 00:04:38,043
Martin? Martin!
122
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:41,803
Adam's jingle's on tonight.
We mustn't forget to listen.
123
00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:43,201
Tell Alison to listen, too.
124
00:04:43,202 --> 00:04:44,241
OK.
125
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,001
Won't she find it difficult
with Simon's balls in her ear?
126
00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:47,600
Ha ha!
127
00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:49,840
I'll get it!
128
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,639
I'll get it!
129
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,639
Who's that?
Don't they knowit's Friday night?
130
00:04:57,438 --> 00:04:58,837
What you up to?
131
00:04:58,838 --> 00:04:59,957
Nothing.
132
00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:02,716
Oh. Hi, Jim.
133
00:05:02,717 --> 00:05:04,596
Hello, Jonny. Your mum there?
134
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,675
Um, it's Adam.
135
00:05:05,676 --> 00:05:06,715
I'm Jonny.
136
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:08,794
Always get you mixed up.
You look so similar.
137
00:05:08,795 --> 00:05:10,474
Do we?
138
00:05:10,474 --> 00:05:14,353
Good boy!
139
00:05:14,353 --> 00:05:17,832
Adam? Could you tell him
to come later? We're eating.
140
00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:20,311
Do you mind if you come back later?
We're eating.
141
00:05:20,312 --> 00:05:21,911
Something smells good.
142
00:05:21,911 --> 00:05:25,870
We're just about to have our dins
dins, aren't we? Aren't we, Wilson?
143
00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:28,589
The chops.
144
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,428
Right.
145
00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:33,228
Oh, it's just about the sponsorship
form for charity.
146
00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:34,187
Your mum said she'd
sponsor me for the...
147
00:05:34,188 --> 00:05:36,867
Oh, tell them to bloody go away!
148
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:37,906
Martin!
149
00:05:37,907 --> 00:05:41,906
If you could just come back
after dinner?
150
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,344
Yes, I'll see you later.
151
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,664
Thanks, Jonny.
152
00:05:45,664 --> 00:05:46,863
Adam.
153
00:05:46,864 --> 00:05:50,863
Come on. Come on.
154
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:56,142
Come on, Wilson.
155
00:05:56,781 --> 00:05:59,260
He must think I'm such a mean cow.
156
00:05:59,261 --> 00:06:01,900
He keeps asking me to sponsorhim,
but I'm always busy.
157
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,539
What's he doing anyway?
158
00:06:03,539 --> 00:06:07,538
Oh, some charity badminton
or backgammon game or something.
159
00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,577
I don't know. You know...
160
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,177
They're quite different.
161
00:06:11,177 --> 00:06:12,496
Who was that, the council?
162
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:16,496
The council? When has
thecouncil ever been round?
163
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,455
What?
164
00:06:18,455 --> 00:06:20,014
What?
165
00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:21,654
Adam,
166
00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:25,653
your mother tells me
your radio jingle is on tonight?
167
00:06:26,813 --> 00:06:29,172
Rather formal.
168
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:33,171
Um, yes, sir.
Well, it's a start, you know.
169
00:06:33,651 --> 00:06:36,690
And who wrote the music?
170
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:39,329
I did, Dad. It's a jingle.
171
00:06:39,329 --> 00:06:41,168
And what's it for?
172
00:06:41,169 --> 00:06:42,168
Car insurance.
173
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:42,647
Ooh, the big time.
174
00:06:42,648 --> 00:06:43,727
Thank you.
175
00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:44,727
Ooh, cars.
176
00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:46,847
Car insurance.
177
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,686
Well. Well done, Adam.
178
00:06:48,687 --> 00:06:50,366
To our favourite son!
179
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:54,365
Yes, the favourite son!
180
00:06:55,285 --> 00:06:59,284
To our favourite son.
181
00:06:59,524 --> 00:07:03,243
Urgh!
182
00:07:03,243 --> 00:07:07,242
Urgh!
183
00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:09,120
There you go.
184
00:07:09,121 --> 00:07:10,520
Oh, thanks.
185
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,919
What shall I do with this?
186
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,639
Oh, put that back in the bottle.
187
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,039
What?
188
00:07:15,039 --> 00:07:16,638
Put it back in the bottle.
189
00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:20,638
I'm not doing that.
Just throw it away.
190
00:07:20,678 --> 00:07:21,797
What are you doing?
191
00:07:21,797 --> 00:07:22,876
It's a waste!
192
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,396
It costs like 1p!
193
00:07:24,397 --> 00:07:26,116
Just go away.
194
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:30,115
God's sake!
195
00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:39,952
Oh, get off!
196
00:07:39,952 --> 00:07:43,951
Stop it, you two.
197
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:50,469
Oh, please. I hate that.
198
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:54,468
Sorry, Mum.
199
00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:58,707
Just bloody stop it!
200
00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:02,706
Sorry, Mum.
201
00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:09,023
Mum?
202
00:08:09,024 --> 00:08:11,863
How come you've got more pictures
of Pissface than me?
203
00:08:11,863 --> 00:08:13,182
Your face annoys me.
204
00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:15,542
Right. No, really?
205
00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:18,741
Really.
206
00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,420
Fair enough.
207
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,819
Your bloody phone.
208
00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:23,819
It's only a text.
209
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:24,339
Why don't you turn it off?
210
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:28,339
I don't want to turn it off.
211
00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:32,417
But...
212
00:08:34,937 --> 00:08:37,176
Oh, Adam.
Could you come here a moment?
213
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:37,975
What?
214
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,695
Can you just come here?
215
00:08:39,695 --> 00:08:40,574
What do you want?
216
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:41,534
What do you want?
217
00:08:41,535 --> 00:08:42,534
Nothing, Adam?
218
00:08:42,534 --> 00:08:43,253
What does he want?
219
00:08:43,254 --> 00:08:44,333
What do you want?
220
00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:46,053
Just bleedin' come, will you?
221
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:49,412
Jesus!
222
00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:50,892
It had better be important.
223
00:08:50,892 --> 00:08:53,771
Where's he go... The toilet?
224
00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:55,650
Do you think he'll show you his...
225
00:08:55,651 --> 00:08:56,690
Oh, God.
226
00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,569
Well, come on!
227
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,969
What are you doing?
228
00:09:00,969 --> 00:09:03,568
Not you!
229
00:09:03,569 --> 00:09:05,688
Will you shut the door?
230
00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:06,967
What?
231
00:09:06,968 --> 00:09:10,967
Shut the door.
232
00:09:16,445 --> 00:09:18,204
Right, this is normal.
233
00:09:18,204 --> 00:09:21,883
Adam, can I speak to you a moment?
234
00:09:21,883 --> 00:09:23,522
Um... OK.
235
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:26,402
Is there no-one else
you can talk to about this?
236
00:09:26,402 --> 00:09:27,641
What?
237
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:29,561
Is there no-one else you can talk to?
238
00:09:29,561 --> 00:09:31,160
Well, not really, no.
239
00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:35,160
OK, but, you know, I am your son.
240
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:37,238
I know.
241
00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:41,238
Well, I'm just saying now,
I really don't want to see it.
242
00:09:41,278 --> 00:09:43,957
See what?
243
00:09:43,957 --> 00:09:46,076
You know, your...
244
00:09:46,077 --> 00:09:47,116
My what?
245
00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:49,275
Nothing.
246
00:09:49,276 --> 00:09:50,875
So, um, Adam?
247
00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:51,954
Yes?
248
00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:53,234
Any?
249
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:54,314
Sorry?
250
00:09:54,314 --> 00:09:55,713
You know?
251
00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:57,833
Oh, Dad, not this, not...
252
00:09:57,833 --> 00:09:58,272
Females?
253
00:09:58,273 --> 00:09:59,632
Females?
254
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,592
Do you have to call them females?
You're not a policeman.
255
00:10:02,592 --> 00:10:03,311
OK, birds.
256
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,391
Birds?
257
00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:05,430
All right, chicks.
258
00:10:05,431 --> 00:10:08,030
Chicks? Oh, hello, Elvis!
259
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,029
So, no females then?
260
00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:10,069
No, no females!
261
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:12,069
No girlfriend. No females. Can I go?
262
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:12,628
No.
263
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:13,668
I'm going now!
264
00:10:13,669 --> 00:10:15,308
Nice family piss?
265
00:10:15,308 --> 00:10:16,387
Go away, Jonny!
266
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:16,867
Did he show you his...
267
00:10:16,868 --> 00:10:18,147
No, it's not about that.
268
00:10:18,147 --> 00:10:19,386
Oh.
269
00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:20,706
Females?
270
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:21,266
Females. Yep.
271
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:22,346
Adam, here.
272
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:24,865
What?
273
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:26,825
Right. Thanks. Excellent.
274
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:27,864
What is it?
275
00:10:27,865 --> 00:10:29,824
Dating sites. Jewish dating sites.
276
00:10:29,824 --> 00:10:30,863
Brilliant.
277
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:34,663
Did you know there areplaces
you can go on theinternet to find girls?
278
00:10:34,663 --> 00:10:35,742
Are there?
279
00:10:35,742 --> 00:10:37,701
Yes, Dad, I know.
280
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:39,461
Girls on the internet. Yes!
281
00:10:39,461 --> 00:10:40,380
How did you know?
282
00:10:40,381 --> 00:10:42,260
Because I live in the world.
283
00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:43,820
What are you all doing?
284
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:44,859
Nothing, Mum.
285
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:45,459
It's just Adam's potty training.
286
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,019
Oh, go away, Jackie!
287
00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:48,058
Shut up, Martin!
288
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:50,818
Females.
289
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:54,817
Oh.
290
00:10:58,336 --> 00:11:02,335
Right, so we're all just going
to stand in the toilet and...
291
00:11:03,695 --> 00:11:04,534
So?
292
00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:05,613
So what?
293
00:11:05,614 --> 00:11:08,053
So, are you going
to go on the internet?
294
00:11:08,053 --> 00:11:10,412
Yes, at some point,
I will go on the internet!
295
00:11:10,413 --> 00:11:11,452
To look at girls?
296
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:13,451
What do you think the internet's for?
297
00:11:13,452 --> 00:11:17,171
No, I mean to look at girls. I mean,
girlfriends. Not just... bosoms.
298
00:11:17,171 --> 00:11:18,210
Bosoms.
299
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:21,129
Martin! Although, I think
you should go on the internet.
300
00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:22,289
Even more brilliant.
301
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:23,328
Shut up!
302
00:11:23,329 --> 00:11:24,528
Seriously, Adam.
303
00:11:24,529 --> 00:11:26,968
Mum, I'm not going on the internet.
304
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:28,127
You are going on the internet.
305
00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:29,927
You're going to make me go
on the internet to look at women?
306
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:31,326
We're only trying to help.
307
00:11:31,327 --> 00:11:34,646
Shut up, Jonny! Just a littlelook
with Dad on the internet.
308
00:11:34,646 --> 00:11:35,885
I have to look with Dad?
309
00:11:35,886 --> 00:11:37,165
Beyond amazing.
310
00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:39,884
Sorry, can I just...
311
00:11:39,884 --> 00:11:41,603
Oh, Adam!
312
00:11:41,604 --> 00:11:45,483
You little sod!
313
00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:49,482
Right, I'm telling you,
I'm not going on the bloody internet to look at girls with Dad! End of.
314
00:11:50,321 --> 00:11:51,600
20.
315
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:52,405
Done.
316
00:11:53,699 --> 00:11:54,870
She's nuts.
317
00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:58,275
No, she's not.
318
00:11:58,275 --> 00:11:59,554
She's pretty.
319
00:11:59,555 --> 00:12:01,714
Have you ever seen a woman before?
320
00:12:01,714 --> 00:12:03,713
Well, what about her?
321
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:04,913
She looks like Mum.
322
00:12:04,913 --> 00:12:05,952
What?
323
00:12:05,953 --> 00:12:09,432
Ooh, yes!
324
00:12:09,432 --> 00:12:12,231
"I love life." Why do they
always say "I love life"?
325
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,430
Well, what do you want them
to say, "I hate death"?
326
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,269
Or this one "Bubbly personality."
327
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,309
We all know what that means,
don't we?
328
00:12:19,309 --> 00:12:22,068
Yep, "I am part whale."
329
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:27,707
Dad, can we stop now?
330
00:12:33,345 --> 00:12:37,344
That's a man.
331
00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:39,223
You're on men now.
332
00:12:39,224 --> 00:12:40,503
Yes, all right!
333
00:12:40,503 --> 00:12:42,902
Still on men, Dad...
334
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:45,582
"Sports Jock 69." Please!
335
00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:46,581
Found a husband yet?
336
00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:47,821
Oh...
337
00:12:47,821 --> 00:12:51,020
Any news on the... ahem,
three penises?
338
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,019
Adam, women.
339
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:57,019
Oh, look how old they are! You're
finding me someone to date, not bury.
340
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:59,698
Well, what about her?
341
00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:00,617
Ooh, she IS nice!
342
00:13:00,618 --> 00:13:03,577
Dad, she's just the advert
for the site, she's not real.
343
00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:04,336
You what?
344
00:13:04,337 --> 00:13:05,896
She's not real!
345
00:13:05,896 --> 00:13:08,535
Well, she looks pretty real to me!
346
00:13:15,053 --> 00:13:18,252
Adam, when's your
jingle thing on?
347
00:13:18,253 --> 00:13:20,292
Oh, my God, my advert!
What time is it?
348
00:13:20,292 --> 00:13:24,291
Oh, shit, it's on any minute!
Coming!
349
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:28,050
Such a poof.
350
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:31,209
Twenty quid, thank you. I heard that.
351
00:13:31,209 --> 00:13:32,368
Oh!
352
00:13:32,369 --> 00:13:34,288
Ha-ha!
353
00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:36,367
I can't believe
no bloody radios work,
354
00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:38,686
you've got a million
and none of them bloody work!
355
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:41,126
All right, enough with
the bloodies, we'll find one!
356
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:42,925
I'm going to miss my bloody advert.
357
00:13:42,926 --> 00:13:44,045
Martin!
358
00:13:44,045 --> 00:13:47,724
Why have you got all these batteries
anyway, is Dad building a robot?
359
00:13:49,804 --> 00:13:51,123
Brilliant, he's got one.
360
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,682
There you go.
What?!
361
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:53,722
It works!
362
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:54,922
Oh, well done, Jonny!
363
00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:56,561
I'm not listening to it on that!
364
00:13:56,562 --> 00:13:58,121
Why not?
Because it's a duck.
365
00:13:58,121 --> 00:13:59,720
It's not. It's a radio...
366
00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:01,160
We'll have to listen in the car.
367
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,079
The car?
368
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,199
Yes, the car. Where are...
Dad, are these your keys?
369
00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:06,518
Hmm?
370
00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,278
Are these your car keys?
371
00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:09,317
Yes, why?
372
00:14:09,318 --> 00:14:10,357
Come on, hurry up!
373
00:14:10,358 --> 00:14:12,597
We're actually going to listen
in the car.
374
00:14:12,597 --> 00:14:13,636
Come on, Martin.
375
00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,316
Where are we going?
Come!
376
00:14:17,596 --> 00:14:19,715
Um, is your mum there?
377
00:14:19,715 --> 00:14:23,714
Have you been there the whole time?
378
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:26,033
Hi, Jim, I'm sorry.
379
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,752
I can't stop,
we're in a real rush.
380
00:14:27,753 --> 00:14:31,032
It really won't take long, Jackie.
You, you look nice.
381
00:14:31,032 --> 00:14:32,951
You said you'd sponsor me.
382
00:14:32,951 --> 00:14:34,550
So, if you'd like to fill in...
383
00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:36,710
Sorry, Jim... Come on, Martin!
384
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,749
I can't stop now,
we are in such a hurry... No!
385
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:42,029
There's no time to lock up now!
386
00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:43,428
Where are we going?
387
00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:45,828
It's for cancer!
388
00:14:45,828 --> 00:14:49,827
Sorry.
389
00:14:50,187 --> 00:14:51,306
Where are we going?
390
00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:54,625
That was so rude, he definitely
thinks I'm a mean cow.
391
00:14:56,185 --> 00:14:57,224
bloody radio...
392
00:15:01,863 --> 00:15:03,982
That was the loudest thing
I've ever...
393
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:08,661
Adam!
394
00:15:08,661 --> 00:15:09,700
You idiot!
395
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,020
Oh, Christ! My God!
396
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:16,019
Was it loud?
397
00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:19,898
Adam, I think... Drive a little, so
it looks like we're going somewhere.
398
00:15:19,898 --> 00:15:23,897
Shut up, Mum.
How can I turn this back on?
399
00:15:25,377 --> 00:15:26,416
Erm...
400
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:27,455
Please, Adam!
401
00:15:29,535 --> 00:15:31,974
Not another bloody text!
402
00:15:31,975 --> 00:15:33,694
Well, try pressing that.
403
00:15:33,694 --> 00:15:37,053
Ugh, now I've got
boiling air going right in my mouth!
404
00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:40,452
Martin, don't you know
how your radio works?
405
00:15:40,452 --> 00:15:41,491
Thank you!
406
00:15:41,492 --> 00:15:44,491
Well, does it matter about
the radio, can't we just go?
407
00:15:44,491 --> 00:15:46,250
We're not going anyw...
408
00:15:46,251 --> 00:15:47,850
Oh, tell him, Jonny!
409
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:49,489
Dad, we're not going anywhere.
410
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,569
So, why are we all
sitting in the car?
411
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:52,928
Oh, God, I can't bear it!
412
00:15:52,929 --> 00:15:56,128
I can't get this bloody thing
to work! Jonny, turn the duck on.
413
00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:57,407
It's not a duck, it's a radio.
414
00:15:57,408 --> 00:15:58,687
Just turn it on!
415
00:15:58,687 --> 00:16:00,206
Such a knob.
416
00:16:01,806 --> 00:16:02,965
Shh! Adverts!
417
00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:05,445
'Furniture Warehouse,
of course...'
418
00:16:05,445 --> 00:16:06,524
Is this it?
419
00:16:06,525 --> 00:16:10,524
It's for car insurance,
car insurance, remember?
420
00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:13,243
'What are you waiting for?
Get down to...'
421
00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:14,922
Is it good?
422
00:16:14,923 --> 00:16:16,282
It's not the one yet, Dad.
423
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:20,401
Adam will you just drive? Drive!
424
00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:22,880
All right, Jesus!
425
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,559
Where are we going?
426
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,039
'Unit 28, Walkers Way, Wembley...
427
00:16:28,039 --> 00:16:30,078
'Us girls come in
all shapes and sizes,
428
00:16:30,078 --> 00:16:32,437
'that's why choosing
the right tampons...'
429
00:16:34,037 --> 00:16:36,156
Yes, my advert is for
tampon insurance.
430
00:16:36,157 --> 00:16:38,756
'whether you have a light flow
or a heavy flow.'
431
00:16:38,756 --> 00:16:40,035
Tampons.
Tampons.
432
00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:42,875
'Looking for cheaper
car insurance? Look no further,
433
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:46,634
'Hangerford Car Insurance can find
the cheapest and best deal for you.
434
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:49,713
'Whether you're a first-time driver
or you've been on the road for years...'
435
00:16:49,713 --> 00:16:51,272
Where's the music?
Shh!
436
00:16:51,272 --> 00:16:54,271
'Just call us direct, call now,
call Hangerford
437
00:16:54,272 --> 00:16:57,471
'08081570000...'
438
00:16:57,471 --> 00:16:59,510
Where's all my music?
439
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,029
'That's 08081570000.'
440
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,069
Is it good?
441
00:17:02,069 --> 00:17:06,068
'Hangerford!'
442
00:17:06,228 --> 00:17:08,067
The bastards!
443
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:16,585
Oh! Oh...
444
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,584
Here, Bobble.
445
00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:22,183
Three frigging notes they
used, three frigging notes.
446
00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:25,863
Ah, but they were lovely notes,
weren't they, Jonny?
447
00:17:25,863 --> 00:17:27,022
Pa-a-rdon?!
448
00:17:27,022 --> 00:17:29,981
Adam, could you pass me that
a moment, please?
449
00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:31,260
Sorry?
450
00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:32,500
Could you pass me my...
451
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:34,500
What, this?
452
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,979
Thanks...
453
00:17:36,979 --> 00:17:39,058
Go on, Adam, pass it to Dad!
But...
454
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:43,058
Come on!
455
00:17:51,495 --> 00:17:53,334
Right, won't be a sec, I...
456
00:17:53,335 --> 00:17:56,774
just need to, um...
457
00:17:56,774 --> 00:17:58,973
Boys, why does your father
keep taking
458
00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:02,292
his magnifying glass with him
every time he leaves the room?
459
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:03,651
You noticed!
460
00:18:03,652 --> 00:18:07,651
He keeps doing it,
what's he looking at all the time?
461
00:18:08,651 --> 00:18:10,010
Right!
462
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:13,889
Mum!
463
00:18:13,889 --> 00:18:16,528
Dust particles!
464
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:19,647
I told you,
I was just looking at... stuff.
465
00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:21,486
Martin, I'm not stupid, you know.
466
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:23,446
Mum!
Leave him, it's fine.
467
00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:26,485
Stop it, I've seen him going in
and out of the toilet all day
468
00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:29,965
with that bloody magnifying glass.
Just tell me.
469
00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:32,844
What have you been looking at?
And don't say dust particles again.
470
00:18:32,844 --> 00:18:34,723
Look, I told you... Ow!
471
00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:37,402
All right, is it something
to do with your penis?
472
00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:38,841
Mum!
What?
473
00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,281
Have you got something wrong
with your penis?
474
00:18:41,281 --> 00:18:41,920
My what?
475
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:42,600
Your penis!
476
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:45,240
Oh, my penis, right, my penis.
477
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,799
I was bitten.
Bitten?
478
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:50,278
Bitten?
Yes.
479
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:53,198
On your penis?
Were you bitten on your penis?
480
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,637
Yes! On my penis, my penis, yes.
481
00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:58,076
I wish everyone would stop
saying penis.
482
00:18:58,077 --> 00:18:59,636
Well, bitten by who?
483
00:18:59,636 --> 00:19:01,155
By a bee.
484
00:19:01,156 --> 00:19:01,955
A bee?
485
00:19:01,955 --> 00:19:02,634
A bee?
486
00:19:02,635 --> 00:19:03,914
Bitten by a bee?
487
00:19:03,915 --> 00:19:05,114
You mean stung by a bee?
488
00:19:05,115 --> 00:19:06,354
That's what I said!
489
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,353
Oh!
Sorry, Dad. Martin, why didn't you tell me,
490
00:19:10,913 --> 00:19:12,112
Well, not really, no.
491
00:19:12,113 --> 00:19:16,112
Ohhh! So you were stung by a bee,
when?
492
00:19:17,871 --> 00:19:19,630
When I was having a wee.
493
00:19:19,631 --> 00:19:22,150
You were stung by a bee
when you were having a wee?
494
00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:25,269
Yes, I got stung by a bee
when I was having a wee.
495
00:19:25,269 --> 00:19:26,748
What, in the bathroom?
496
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:30,747
Of course not in the bathroom!
In the garden.
497
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:33,426
What were you doing
weeing in the garden?
498
00:19:33,427 --> 00:19:34,706
Having a wee.
499
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,705
Do you normally wee in the garden?
No! Only if it's a nice day.
500
00:19:39,065 --> 00:19:41,224
Unbelievable. Let me look...
501
00:19:41,224 --> 00:19:42,263
It's fine.
502
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,983
It's fine.
Stop it, Martin. Adam, get the calamine.
503
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,782
Oh, well, I'm off!
504
00:19:46,783 --> 00:19:48,782
Ow!
505
00:19:48,782 --> 00:19:50,501
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
506
00:19:50,502 --> 00:19:53,181
Our Dad pisses in the garden.
507
00:19:53,181 --> 00:19:57,180
Yeah.
I wonder if he craps in the bins.
508
00:19:57,820 --> 00:20:01,819
Here.
509
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:18,654
Oh, shit!
510
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:26,532
Shh, shh.
511
00:20:27,731 --> 00:20:30,090
Eh?
512
00:20:30,091 --> 00:20:33,810
But why would you say that
my father had four of them?
513
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:37,809
I really don't know, it must just be
a terrible mistake, I'm so sorry.
514
00:20:41,887 --> 00:20:45,886
Well, goodnight, Jim.
515
00:21:00,762 --> 00:21:01,961
Yes.
516
00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:03,041
Well...
517
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:05,280
Indeed.
518
00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:06,320
Dad?
519
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,599
What?
520
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,599
Show us your cock.
521
00:21:11,948 --> 00:21:13,148
Correct by MemoryOnSmells or teftel; www.addic7ed.com,
twitter.com/MemoryOnSmell, memoryonsmells.tumblr.com
522
00:21:13,198 --> 00:21:17,748
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