Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,119
For someone who doesn't stop
2
00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:42,198
going on about Formula One,
you're surprisingly shit at driving.
3
00:00:42,197 --> 00:00:43,196
Ha-ha!
4
00:00:43,196 --> 00:00:44,995
Seriously,
like no control of the vehicle.
5
00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:47,074
No control of the vehicle?
6
00:00:48,552 --> 00:00:50,551
Why does it keep doing that?
7
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,549
No control of the vehicle.
8
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,589
Well, you can drive next time!
9
00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:54,548
Fine, and you can
learn from the master.
10
00:00:54,547 --> 00:00:56,266
Master knob face.
11
00:00:56,266 --> 00:01:00,145
Why's the door open?
12
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,542
Um...
13
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:07,857
Ooh, hello!
14
00:01:07,857 --> 00:01:10,096
Er, hi, Jim...
15
00:01:10,096 --> 00:01:11,375
Jonny!
16
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,294
I'm Adam.
17
00:01:12,294 --> 00:01:13,093
I'm Jonny.
18
00:01:13,093 --> 00:01:14,892
Oh, yes.
19
00:01:15,091 --> 00:01:16,011
Who are you?
20
00:01:16,011 --> 00:01:17,850
Hmm?
21
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:21,849
Nothing.
22
00:01:23,845 --> 00:01:25,604
Good boy, good boy, Wilson.
23
00:01:25,604 --> 00:01:27,763
Bye.
24
00:01:27,762 --> 00:01:29,201
Night.
25
00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:30,080
Wilson!
26
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,639
That wasn't strange!
27
00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:34,117
Hi, Mum.
28
00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:35,156
Hi, boys.
29
00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:36,356
What are you doing in the garage?
30
00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:38,115
We're having a clearout.
31
00:01:38,114 --> 00:01:39,833
Don't you mean what's
Jim doing in our loo?
32
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:43,032
Martin, you do know the
boys are here? Say hello.
33
00:01:43,031 --> 00:01:44,790
What? Oh, hello, bambinos.
34
00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:45,668
No top tonight?
35
00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:46,708
He's boiling.
36
00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:46,867
I'm boiling.
37
00:01:46,868 --> 00:01:49,267
And Jim's using our
toilet because..?
38
00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:51,385
Oh, his is broken.
39
00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:52,383
Broken?
40
00:01:52,384 --> 00:01:53,423
He broke it... No, there!
41
00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:55,622
He broke his own toilet?
How did he do that?
42
00:01:55,621 --> 00:01:59,020
How do I know? Anyway, he asked if
he could use ours, what could I say?
43
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:00,177
No?
44
00:02:00,178 --> 00:02:01,377
Use a bucket?
45
00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:02,416
This as well?
46
00:02:02,416 --> 00:02:05,455
Yes, all of them, and then
you're doing the sofabed.
47
00:02:05,454 --> 00:02:09,453
Your mother wants me to chuck away all my old
copies of New Scientist magazine, can you believe it?
48
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:10,649
Yes?
49
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:11,489
Thank you, Adam!
50
00:02:11,489 --> 00:02:13,088
What do you mean, yes?
51
00:02:13,088 --> 00:02:15,167
You don't even read them,
why do you keep all this crap?
52
00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,685
It's not crap!
I wish you'd stop calling it crap.
53
00:02:17,684 --> 00:02:20,283
They're collectibles.
54
00:02:20,282 --> 00:02:21,521
Are they?
55
00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:25,520
Boys, look, this one
is from 1969 and
56
00:02:26,158 --> 00:02:28,597
there's a poster of Isaac Newton.
57
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:30,835
Now he was a genius.
58
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:34,393
Sorry, I'm not discussing Isaac
Newton again. Tomorrow morning,
59
00:02:34,392 --> 00:02:37,031
you are taking them all to the dump.
Impossible!
60
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,349
Newton.
61
00:02:38,349 --> 00:02:40,068
Crap. Crap.
62
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:43,946
OK, done the potatoes,
overcooked the bloody meat.
63
00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:47,943
Oh! Oh, er, Martin, did
you do the, er, sofabed?
64
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,340
What? No, I'll do it later.
65
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,259
Oh, well, I wanted it ready.
66
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:53,498
The man's not coming till tomorrow.
67
00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:54,376
What man?
68
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:55,376
Oh, the sofabed man.
69
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:59,375
Martin, can you not eat out
of the bin, I've told you!
70
00:02:59,453 --> 00:03:00,972
Dad!
71
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,491
Oh, vegetables.
Shit, what's the time?
72
00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:05,369
Er, 20 past.
73
00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:06,807
Right, out of the way please!
74
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,686
Your mum is very excited.
75
00:03:08,686 --> 00:03:10,685
About what?
It's the final of Masterchef.
76
00:03:10,684 --> 00:03:12,083
It's the final of Masterchef.
77
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:15,282
Oh, there is such a smashing
Greek bloke in the final.
78
00:03:15,281 --> 00:03:16,440
Really?
79
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,959
Me and Val love him.
Oh, he's got such a terrific bum!
80
00:03:19,957 --> 00:03:23,036
Mum! She's not talking about that
Greek fella's arse again, is she?
81
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,954
So exciting! You'll watch
Masterchef with me, won't you?
82
00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,272
What? No!
83
00:03:27,272 --> 00:03:28,431
Please?
84
00:03:28,431 --> 00:03:29,510
No! No way!
85
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,669
What do you mean no way?
It's the final!
86
00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:33,147
Of people cooking. And then eating.
87
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,746
Oh, please, for me?
88
00:03:35,745 --> 00:03:38,264
I only see you once a week.
89
00:03:38,263 --> 00:03:40,022
No!
90
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:41,501
Martin, speak to the boys!
91
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:42,540
What about?
92
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:43,739
Masterchef.
93
00:03:43,739 --> 00:03:46,098
Oh, Masterchef.
Um, well, it's a cookery programme
94
00:03:46,097 --> 00:03:49,536
on BBC, it's like a big competition.
95
00:03:49,535 --> 00:03:52,174
Not generally, tell them!
96
00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:53,852
Hmm? About them watching it!
97
00:03:53,852 --> 00:03:55,411
Oh, right.
Your mum wants you to watch it.
98
00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:57,209
We know. Will you?
99
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:59,568
No! I tried.
100
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,806
I wish I'd had girls.
101
00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,765
Ooh, excuse me.
102
00:04:02,765 --> 00:04:06,484
Come on, pigs.
103
00:04:06,482 --> 00:04:08,161
Adam? Here...
104
00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:09,280
What? Quickly.
105
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,359
Really?
106
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:14,358
Yes, really!
107
00:04:16,594 --> 00:04:18,073
Aren't you freezing?
108
00:04:18,073 --> 00:04:19,752
Now, Adam, I need to speak to you.
109
00:04:19,752 --> 00:04:21,991
This better not be about what
I think it's going to be about.
110
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:24,109
What? You know.
111
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:26,428
No? What you always talk to me
about?
112
00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:30,426
The economy?
113
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,303
No, the F word.
114
00:04:32,302 --> 00:04:33,261
Females?
115
00:04:33,262 --> 00:04:35,661
Yes, females.
116
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,499
Oh. Well, is it?
117
00:04:37,498 --> 00:04:40,657
No no, it's, um...
Well, don't tell my wife but, er...
118
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,215
Your wife? Sorry, your mother.
119
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,653
Look, I ordered some things
off the internet and I had
120
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,051
to get them sent round
to your place.
121
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,169
What? Why?
122
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:54,168
50 back copies of New Scientist
magazine? Jesus, you're buying more?
123
00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:58,604
Shh! They're all from 1965, I'm
missing that year, it's the set.
124
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,561
Why are you buying more when
you're taking the rest to the dump?
125
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,440
If I take the rest to the dump!
126
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,959
What? Hmm?
127
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,957
Dad, you do know Mum will go mental?
128
00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:09,594
Why are you both outside?
129
00:05:09,594 --> 00:05:10,913
Sorry?
130
00:05:10,913 --> 00:05:13,552
Your soup's just sitting there.
What's that?
131
00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:16,590
Nothing. Er, it's nothing,
Jackie, just, um...
132
00:05:16,589 --> 00:05:17,748
Females.
133
00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:21,747
Oh, females. Well, hurry up,
will you? Aren't you freezing?
134
00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:23,664
I told you, I'm boiling!
135
00:05:23,663 --> 00:05:27,662
Oh.
136
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:31,578
So you'll look after the stuff
for me?
137
00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:32,576
All right, God!
138
00:05:32,577 --> 00:05:33,576
So are there any?
139
00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:34,975
What, females?
140
00:05:34,975 --> 00:05:35,974
Yes!
141
00:05:35,974 --> 00:05:37,133
No!
142
00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:41,132
My son the monk!
143
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,249
Well!
144
00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:47,127
You know what, Jackie? What?
145
00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:49,885
This is a lovely bit of squirrel!
146
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,639
I'll get it!
147
00:05:56,639 --> 00:05:59,398
Sit down!
It'll only be Val about Masterchef.
148
00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:01,875
Johnny?
149
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,354
What?
150
00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:05,232
Listen, you know those, er,
boxes I'm taking to the dump?
151
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,151
Full of all that old crap?
152
00:06:06,151 --> 00:06:08,230
It's not crap!
153
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:10,629
I need you to take them later
and put them in your car.
154
00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:13,227
Why do I have to take them to
the dump, why can't Pusface?
155
00:06:13,226 --> 00:06:15,105
Because Pusface here has
already been given a job.
156
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,504
Shut up, Adam! Jonny,
all I want you to do is take them
157
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,822
home and look after them for me.
158
00:06:19,821 --> 00:06:21,260
And you're buying more? Jesus, Dad!
159
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:21,859
Shhh!
160
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,218
She is so funny!
161
00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:26,417
Mmm, lovely
bread, Jackie, did you make it?
162
00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:28,295
What?
I've never made bread in my life!
163
00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:31,294
OK, what's going...
164
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:32,331
How's Aunty Val?
165
00:06:32,331 --> 00:06:35,210
What? Oh, she is so excited!
166
00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:36,488
Mastershit?
167
00:06:36,488 --> 00:06:38,407
Charming.
Is Alison a good cook?
168
00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:39,886
Alison?
169
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:42,085
You know? Your pretend girlfriend?
170
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,443
Ha ha! Um, I dunno, really.
171
00:06:43,443 --> 00:06:45,202
What do you mean you don't know?
172
00:06:45,202 --> 00:06:47,641
He doesn't know because she
doesn't exist.
173
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,959
Just because I've got a girlfriend!
174
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:49,838
Who has another boyfriend...
175
00:06:49,838 --> 00:06:53,037
Simon is not her boyfriend! Oh, no, sorry.
He's just a guy who sleeps on top of her.
176
00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:55,195
Who you talking about?
177
00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:56,113
Alison.
178
00:06:56,113 --> 00:06:58,192
Alan Davidson?
179
00:06:58,192 --> 00:06:59,871
Amazing.
180
00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:02,710
Mum, don't you think Adam should
ask Tanya Green out for a date?
181
00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:04,027
Oh, very good.
182
00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:05,666
She's meant to be a lovely girl.
Sorry, female.
183
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:08,745
She is a lovely girl.
Oh, she was a beautiful baby.
184
00:07:08,744 --> 00:07:10,063
You want me to go out with a baby?
185
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,142
Oh, don't be so stupid.
186
00:07:11,142 --> 00:07:13,661
No, it would be lovely, actually.
A nice romantic date, all arranged
187
00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:15,739
by my Mum, the paedophile.
188
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,538
Who's a paedophile? Mum is. Oh.
189
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:21,776
I'll get it! I'll get it!
190
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,373
I wonder who that could be?
191
00:07:24,372 --> 00:07:27,251
Ah, um...
192
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:27,529
Adam.
193
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,689
Yes, of course.
194
00:07:29,688 --> 00:07:32,287
Right, well,
I've just come to, um...
195
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,325
Yep...
196
00:07:33,325 --> 00:07:37,324
Wilson, you stay!
197
00:07:39,201 --> 00:07:42,600
Oh.
198
00:07:42,598 --> 00:07:46,237
Ooh, something smells nice!
199
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:50,235
Right, Wilson..
200
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,705
So I'm basically a
lavatory attendant.
201
00:08:00,705 --> 00:08:04,424
What could I do? Oh, maybe I
should offer him some crumble?
202
00:08:04,422 --> 00:08:07,061
What? No way! Crumble? No, Jackie!
203
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,099
All right, all right!
204
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:12,098
Do you think Jim ever gets any...
You know, lady action?
205
00:08:13,575 --> 00:08:14,614
Shhh!
206
00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:16,493
He can't hear us!
207
00:08:16,493 --> 00:08:18,132
Just wait!
208
00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:21,848
Bye, Jim!
209
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,248
So, do you reckon Jim
ever gets any ladies?
210
00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,805
I think his dog gets more.
211
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:29,324
I reckon he just strangles them!
212
00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:30,722
Hello, everyone!
213
00:08:30,722 --> 00:08:34,041
Ooh! We'd... Thought you'd gone.
214
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:36,278
No, just saying hi.
215
00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:40,277
Don't get up.
216
00:08:40,514 --> 00:08:42,033
Hello, Martin.
217
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:46,032
Um, hello, Jim.
218
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,189
Um, are you well?
219
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:51,588
Fine, fine. That's a nice spread.
220
00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:54,345
Oh, thank you.
221
00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:58,103
Oh, I'm sorry, you're eating,
I'm being very rude.
222
00:08:58,101 --> 00:08:59,780
No, not at all.
223
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:03,779
Oh, OK.
224
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:12,453
So...
225
00:09:15,928 --> 00:09:17,807
How's Wilson?
226
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:19,725
He had worms.
227
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,724
How's Wilson? He had worms.
228
00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:27,800
Er, Adam, could you, er...
229
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:29,238
Sure, Mum.
230
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:32,036
Well, it's lovely to see you, Jim.
231
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:34,114
It's lovely to se you too, Jackie.
232
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:38,113
And the others.
233
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,949
So if, er... If you'd like to...
234
00:09:40,949 --> 00:09:43,548
Yes, course...
235
00:09:43,547 --> 00:09:45,706
Oh, and, er, bring
in the apple crumble.
236
00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:46,424
OK.
237
00:09:46,424 --> 00:09:47,183
Ooh, crumble!
238
00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:51,183
Yes! Well, never mind.
239
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,219
You'll do that for me, will you?
240
00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:55,898
What? What are you..? Shhh! That's
your glass.
241
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:57,056
I know. Don't tell Adam.
242
00:09:57,056 --> 00:09:59,135
And if you ever need to
use the toilet round at mine,
243
00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,414
Jackie, you're always welcome.
244
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:05,412
Well, thanks, Jim.
That's good to know.
245
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,449
Has the lady strangler gone?
246
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:08,808
Shh!
247
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,807
Bye, then!
248
00:10:13,844 --> 00:10:15,323
Mmm, crumble!
249
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:19,762
Crimble crumble!
250
00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:23,398
Looks a bit dry.
Lucky we've got water.
251
00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:24,235
What?
252
00:10:24,236 --> 00:10:26,475
Nothing, just saying,
lucky we've got some water.
253
00:10:26,474 --> 00:10:27,673
Oh, wait a minute...
254
00:10:27,673 --> 00:10:29,992
I know what you've done!
255
00:10:29,991 --> 00:10:33,510
What? Ha-ha!
256
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:36,188
Ugh! You bastard! How did you...?
257
00:10:36,187 --> 00:10:37,506
Jonny!
258
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,665
The double bluff! High-five, Dad!
259
00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:41,183
Christ! What you doing?
260
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,422
You know he doesn't
understand these things.
261
00:10:43,421 --> 00:10:44,420
Lunatic!
262
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:47,700
Right,
I'm gonna get some new water, then.
263
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:51,417
Hey!
264
00:10:52,454 --> 00:10:56,453
Oh, can you get it?
It'll be Val again.
265
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:00,888
Hi, Aunty Val.
266
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:02,367
Oh, hello, Pusface.
267
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,046
'Got ya!'
268
00:11:04,046 --> 00:11:08,005
Cockhead.
269
00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:09,082
Good one, Pissface!
270
00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:13,081
Cheers!
271
00:11:23,711 --> 00:11:25,390
You better not be
272
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:28,989
Sorry?
273
00:11:30,905 --> 00:11:33,304
Christ, again? Already?
274
00:11:33,304 --> 00:11:35,663
It's like a public toilet in here.
275
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,621
Hello, come in, use the loo.
276
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:39,899
Oh, thanks, I really
do need to go, actually!
277
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,498
Where is it?
278
00:11:41,497 --> 00:11:45,176
Um, just... In there...
279
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:49,174
Great, thanks!
280
00:11:52,489 --> 00:11:55,848
Mum, there's...
There's a man in our loo!
281
00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:57,845
Yes, we know that.
282
00:11:57,845 --> 00:11:59,644
No, like, a man!
283
00:11:59,644 --> 00:12:01,763
Come and eat your crumble.
284
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:05,761
I swear! I opened the door and...
285
00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:07,757
What's he going on about?
286
00:12:09,236 --> 00:12:10,075
Hello?
287
00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:10,755
What you doing?
288
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:14,394
Shh!
289
00:12:14,392 --> 00:12:15,631
Hello?
290
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:16,830
Who you talking to?
291
00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:23,267
Hello?
292
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,705
Who are you saying
hello to the whole time?
293
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,143
Shhh! Hello?
294
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,339
That's not Jim.
295
00:12:32,339 --> 00:12:33,138
I know!
296
00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:36,137
What are you doing in there?
297
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,535
Um, I'm going to the toilet.
298
00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,133
Why are we all in the hall?
299
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:41,652
There's a man in our toilet.
300
00:12:41,652 --> 00:12:44,411
A man?
301
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,409
Who are you?
302
00:12:50,565 --> 00:12:52,244
Er, Chris Parker.
303
00:12:52,244 --> 00:12:53,283
Who's he?
304
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:54,802
What are you doing here?
305
00:12:54,802 --> 00:12:56,841
I've come about the sofabed? What?
306
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,359
He's come about the sofabed.
307
00:12:58,359 --> 00:13:00,318
Don't be silly,
the man's coming tomorrow.
308
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:02,957
Erm, well that's a man...
And he's definitely here now...
309
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:06,595
I am. And he's definitely come
about the sofabed. I have.
310
00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:08,112
You're unbelievable!
311
00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:10,031
Why aren't you here on the fifth?
312
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:11,309
It is the fifth?
313
00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,428
No, Saturday the fifth!
314
00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:15,707
Dad, today is the fifth.
It's Friday 5th.
315
00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:17,785
Yeah, today is the fifth?
316
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:18,143
Is it?
317
00:13:18,144 --> 00:13:20,903
Right, well done, Martin, right
in the middle of dinner. Thank you.
318
00:13:20,902 --> 00:13:24,381
But I thought the fifth was...
Jackie, I'm sorry, I thought...
319
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:33,713
Now careful. Pull it out slowly.
320
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,391
Slowly...
321
00:13:35,391 --> 00:13:36,710
I'm doing it slowly!
322
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,669
Yeah, it's perfect size.
It's actually for my father.
323
00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:42,067
He's had a pretty
tough time health-wise.
324
00:13:42,066 --> 00:13:43,145
Right.
325
00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:44,184
Slowly...
326
00:13:44,184 --> 00:13:45,543
In and out of hospital,
327
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:46,022
it's been awful.
328
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,302
Yeah.
329
00:13:47,302 --> 00:13:47,901
Move it round...
330
00:13:47,902 --> 00:13:49,021
Now, hopefully,
331
00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:50,460
Dad can stay over at ours,
332
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:52,859
we can always just
fold it back into a sofa.
333
00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:53,017
OK.
334
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:54,097
Slowly!
335
00:13:54,097 --> 00:13:56,936
You don't need to tell me
to do it slowly any more!
336
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:58,814
That's the beauty of a sofa bed,
I suppose.
337
00:13:58,813 --> 00:13:59,892
Yeah, and lift...
338
00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:01,251
Argh!
339
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:02,290
What?
340
00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:03,970
Oh, shit, shit, shit!
341
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:04,808
Are you all right?
342
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,328
Oh, shit on it,
shit on the bloody thing!
343
00:14:07,327 --> 00:14:08,486
Sorry.
344
00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:10,205
Oh, shit on it, shit on it!
345
00:14:10,205 --> 00:14:10,444
Are you all right?
346
00:14:10,445 --> 00:14:11,484
Of course I'm not!
347
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,843
The shitting thing
went right on my bloody...
348
00:14:13,842 --> 00:14:15,121
Are you all right? What happened?
349
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,320
Oh, go away, Jackie!
350
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,839
Martin!
351
00:14:17,839 --> 00:14:19,838
I'm so sorry.
352
00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:21,636
It's OK, Dad, we'll do it.
353
00:14:21,636 --> 00:14:23,075
Just go downstairs.
354
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:25,754
Oh, shit on the shitting thing!
355
00:14:25,753 --> 00:14:29,752
I'm really sorry.
356
00:14:30,429 --> 00:14:34,428
Right, er, OK.
357
00:14:34,986 --> 00:14:39,185
Slowly...
358
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,982
Be careful of the wallpaper.
359
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:41,900
OK.
360
00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:43,420
Slowly...
361
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,059
Please, Mum!
362
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,897
Oh!
363
00:14:46,897 --> 00:14:48,616
Excuse me.
364
00:14:48,616 --> 00:14:49,455
What are you doing up here?
365
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:53,134
Well, the other boy was
in the one downstairs, so, em...
366
00:14:53,132 --> 00:14:57,051
Oh, hello, Jackie.
367
00:14:57,049 --> 00:14:58,288
Hi, Jim.
368
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,046
Yes, quickly!
369
00:15:01,046 --> 00:15:02,805
Sorry! Jim, Jim Bell.
370
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:05,564
Sorry. Chris, Chris Parker.
371
00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:07,202
I broke my toilet.
372
00:15:07,202 --> 00:15:11,201
Oh, how did you do that?
373
00:15:14,276 --> 00:15:16,115
Right, yes.
374
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,234
So, bye, Jackie!
375
00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:19,872
Bye, Jim.
376
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:21,871
Bye-bye, all.
377
00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:25,869
He's, er, not part of the family.
378
00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,346
Jonny's meant to be taping it.
379
00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:30,385
Jonny, are you taping it?
380
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:31,863
Yes, I've told you!
381
00:15:31,863 --> 00:15:34,062
And don't tell me who wins!
382
00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,580
Adam, what's your mother doing?
383
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,419
Phone!
384
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,738
Oh, typical.
385
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,697
I said, be careful of the wallpaper!
386
00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:40,616
Yes, OK!
387
00:15:40,616 --> 00:15:41,655
All right, tell me,
388
00:15:41,655 --> 00:15:44,854
is his lovely bottom in those
tight leather trousers?
389
00:15:44,853 --> 00:15:46,492
What's she talking about?
390
00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:47,811
Someone's bottom.
391
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:49,650
Yeah, I'd better go. Bye, love!
392
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,048
How are we doing?
393
00:15:51,048 --> 00:15:52,647
I think you need to
move it a bit your way.
394
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,966
Whoa, whoa!
395
00:15:53,966 --> 00:15:54,805
You all right there, Pusface?
396
00:15:54,805 --> 00:15:56,404
Yes, fine, go away!
397
00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,963
I'll just have a nice lie down
on the sofa then.
398
00:15:58,962 --> 00:16:00,641
Jonny, youaretaping MasterChef?
399
00:16:00,641 --> 00:16:04,640
For the 350,000th bloody time,
I am taping it, all right?
400
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:09,277
Excuse my horrible sons.
401
00:16:09,474 --> 00:16:11,593
Jonny, the boxes, in the car!
402
00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:14,512
Oh, what, now?
403
00:16:14,511 --> 00:16:18,510
Yes, bleedin' now!
404
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,466
Right, what's happening?
405
00:16:20,466 --> 00:16:21,665
I think it's stuck.
406
00:16:21,665 --> 00:16:22,024
What?
407
00:16:22,025 --> 00:16:23,104
It's stuck.
408
00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:26,223
What? I can't understand
a word the bloody man's saying.
409
00:16:26,222 --> 00:16:27,261
What did he say?
410
00:16:27,261 --> 00:16:28,180
It's stuck!
411
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,259
Right, it's stuck, thank you.
412
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,297
Well, what are we going to do?
413
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,335
Em... hang ourselves?
414
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:38,053
Martin!
415
00:16:38,053 --> 00:16:39,212
Is it really stuck?
416
00:16:39,212 --> 00:16:41,211
You try pulling it
up your way a bit.
417
00:16:42,289 --> 00:16:44,928
Stop, it's tearing
the wallpaper! Stop!
418
00:16:44,928 --> 00:16:46,967
Oh, brilliant, it's properly stuck!
419
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:51,764
Oh, I hope that's not Dad's.
Hold on, don't let go!
420
00:17:01,715 --> 00:17:04,674
What?
421
00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:08,672
Mum!
422
00:17:10,348 --> 00:17:11,067
Martin?
423
00:17:11,068 --> 00:17:12,107
Mum, please!
424
00:17:12,107 --> 00:17:14,346
Martin!
425
00:17:14,345 --> 00:17:16,104
Darling?
426
00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:17,223
You think I'm stupid, do you?
427
00:17:17,223 --> 00:17:18,382
Sorry?
428
00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:19,421
Mum, not now.
429
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:21,980
Shut up, Adam!
So that's what you do.
430
00:17:21,979 --> 00:17:24,898
Instead of chucking away
all those dirty old magazines
431
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:26,296
that, you know, I hate
432
00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:28,415
you get your youngest son
to hide them!
433
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,414
You, what, but...
434
00:17:29,414 --> 00:17:33,413
And then you go and buy more,
more of those bloody magazines!
435
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,569
By the way,
they're not like dirty magazines.
436
00:17:36,568 --> 00:17:37,607
Oh, right.
437
00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,247
Jackie, they're collectibles!
438
00:17:39,246 --> 00:17:41,085
They're not collectibles -
they're crap!
439
00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:42,524
But Jackie...
440
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:44,283
Oh! Shit, shit on it!
441
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:45,762
Will you please
stop saying shit on it!
442
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:48,400
Stop saying shit on it.
443
00:17:50,118 --> 00:17:51,077
Hello?
444
00:17:51,077 --> 00:17:52,676
As soon as we get downstairs,
445
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:55,915
you are taking those bloody boxes
out of Jonny's car, you hear?
446
00:17:55,914 --> 00:17:56,433
Yes!
447
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,472
Oh, my God!
448
00:17:57,473 --> 00:17:58,152
Shhh!
449
00:17:58,152 --> 00:17:59,631
When?
450
00:17:59,631 --> 00:18:00,910
Oh, no!
451
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:02,109
No, no...
452
00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:05,547
OK, right.
453
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:08,465
Oh, my God.
454
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:12,143
Right, OK. Yeah.
455
00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:14,020
You all right?
456
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,099
Um...
457
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:16,898
I think I need to sit down.
458
00:18:16,898 --> 00:18:18,137
What's the matter?
459
00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:20,536
My... My dad.
460
00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:23,054
My dad's just died.
461
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:25,292
Oh, my God!
462
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,930
Oh, I'm so sorry!
463
00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,648
Yeah, sorry.
464
00:18:30,647 --> 00:18:32,326
How awful.
465
00:18:32,326 --> 00:18:36,045
What sort of dog was it?
466
00:18:37,602 --> 00:18:41,601
We all knew it was coming,
it's just the shock.
467
00:18:44,597 --> 00:18:46,396
No, I'm OK, love.
468
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,627
I'll be leaving soon,
they're just making me some tea.
469
00:18:59,665 --> 00:19:00,384
I will. Bye.
470
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,022
Are you all right?
471
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:07,781
Hmm? Er, yeah, thanks.
472
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:11,178
Sorry, did you say you take sugar?
473
00:19:11,177 --> 00:19:14,936
Sorry? Em, no. No sugar, thanks.
474
00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:18,933
Well, talk to the man!
475
00:19:26,285 --> 00:19:28,964
Fantastic Friday night.
Can you invite him every week?
476
00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:32,682
Don't be horrible. How would you
feel if, God forbid, one of us died?
477
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:33,439
Erm...
478
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,039
Right, thank you, Adam.
479
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:36,318
OK.
480
00:19:36,318 --> 00:19:37,717
Dad! Dad!
481
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:39,955
What's happening?
482
00:19:39,955 --> 00:19:41,714
What are you doing?
483
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,753
I'm making the man a cup of tea.
484
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,389
Not that cup!
485
00:19:47,389 --> 00:19:47,828
What's the matter?
486
00:19:47,829 --> 00:19:48,980
Oh, my God!
487
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:49,699
Here you are.
488
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,306
That's my cup!
489
00:19:51,306 --> 00:19:51,625
Nice cup of tea.
490
00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:52,905
Thank you.
491
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:55,184
What?
492
00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:56,462
Oh, no.
493
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,541
Um, excuse me.
494
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,541
Ugh! I think...
495
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,059
this has got salt in it!
496
00:20:02,098 --> 00:20:02,817
Did you put salt in my tea?
497
00:20:02,818 --> 00:20:03,937
Sorry, sorry.
498
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:04,216
What?
499
00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:05,256
There's salt in his tea.
500
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:06,495
Salt?!
501
00:20:06,495 --> 00:20:07,694
Is this water?
502
00:20:07,694 --> 00:20:08,933
Er, I think so.
503
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:12,332
I put salt in his tea?
504
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,489
Ugh! There's salt in this too!
505
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:15,568
Oh, is there?
506
00:20:15,568 --> 00:20:19,327
Why would you do that?
Why have you put salt in everything?
507
00:20:19,325 --> 00:20:23,324
My father's just died and you're
just putting salt in everything!
508
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,841
Actually, I've got to go.
509
00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:30,118
What about the sofa bed?
510
00:20:30,117 --> 00:20:32,996
You have to twist it up a bit.
511
00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:36,794
Just twist it up a bit more?
512
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:37,951
Lift up the catch.
513
00:20:37,951 --> 00:20:41,150
Push and pull!
514
00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:44,828
Christ!
515
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:48,545
I think he liked us.
516
00:20:48,543 --> 00:20:51,222
That's it, Jackie.
Be careful, be careful!
517
00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,220
It's all right, Mum, it was easy.
518
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,098
Slowly...
519
00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,137
Oh, God!
520
00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:57,776
Careful, Jackie, careful.
521
00:20:57,776 --> 00:20:59,295
Ooh!
522
00:20:59,295 --> 00:21:00,374
That's it.
523
00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:01,653
Thank you.
524
00:21:01,653 --> 00:21:05,412
Good girl. Down we come.
525
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,129
There we are.
526
00:21:07,129 --> 00:21:08,848
Well done, Mum.
527
00:21:08,848 --> 00:21:10,247
You OK, Jackie?
528
00:21:11,446 --> 00:21:13,405
Er, thanks, Jim.
529
00:21:14,763 --> 00:21:17,402
Yeah, thanks, thanks again.
530
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,960
Actually, do you mind if I...?
531
00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:21,878
You know...
532
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,357
There.
533
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:24,436
Thanks.
534
00:21:24,436 --> 00:21:26,355
Right, MasterChef!
535
00:21:26,354 --> 00:21:30,353
Oh, I know, who'd have thought
that Greek chap would win?
536
00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:34,350
What a final!
537
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:49,299
Shit on it!
538
00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:55,569
Correct by MemoryOnSmells or teftel; www.addic7ed.com,
twitter.com/MemoryOnSmell, memoryonsmells.tumblr.com
539
00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:03,819
Subtitles by
Red Bee Media Ltd
540
00:22:03,869 --> 00:22:08,419
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34619
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
