Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,679 --> 00:00:03,912
Eddie: Everyone thought my pops
2
00:00:03,980 --> 00:00:05,628
was the nicest guy in Orlando.
[Chuckles]
3
00:00:05,648 --> 00:00:07,816
But he had a guilty pleasure.
4
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,617
He loved gangster movies...
5
00:00:09,685 --> 00:00:12,387
immigrants fighting for their
piece of the American dream.
6
00:00:12,455 --> 00:00:14,355
Eh, so many bullets.
[Chuckles]
7
00:00:14,423 --> 00:00:16,491
And deep down,
he was the same way.
8
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,827
Because when it came
to providing for his family,
9
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,995
he would do whatever it took.
10
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,297
[Siren wailing]
11
00:00:22,364 --> 00:00:24,766
[Both panting]
12
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:26,968
[Heart beating]
13
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,106
Aah! Whoa!
14
00:00:32,174 --> 00:00:33,241
But my shoe!
15
00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:35,424
- Leave it!
- Oh, no!
16
00:00:35,444 --> 00:00:37,979
Let me tell you something
about that shoe!
17
00:00:38,046 --> 00:00:40,081
Nordstroms hardly ever
has a sale.
18
00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,582
And one time,
by the grace of God...
19
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,384
- No time for a speech!
- Ooh! Aah! No!
20
00:00:43,452 --> 00:00:44,819
My shoe! Aah!
21
00:00:44,886 --> 00:00:46,988
S01E07
Showdown at the Golden Saddle
22
00:00:47,055 --> 00:00:48,222
Fresh off the boat
23
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,991
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
24
00:00:50,058 --> 00:00:51,726
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
25
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:53,060
Fresh off the boat
26
00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:55,996
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
27
00:00:56,064 --> 00:00:57,164
But I know where I'm goin'
28
00:00:57,232 --> 00:00:58,817
I'm fresh off the boat
29
00:00:58,837 --> 00:01:01,116
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:02,870
My dad was excited to show us
31
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,505
the newest promotion
for his restaurant.
32
00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:06,774
My mom, on the other hand,
was less enthused.
33
00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:08,609
It's a sunny day in Orlando,
34
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,244
you're driving
down the street...
35
00:01:10,312 --> 00:01:11,479
No, you're driving.
36
00:01:11,546 --> 00:01:13,581
Well, I'm setting the scene,
building suspense
37
00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:15,651
for when you guys
see the restaurant billboard.
38
00:01:15,671 --> 00:01:17,418
- Play along.
- "Play"? I don't like to play.
39
00:01:17,486 --> 00:01:20,187
Well, you don't,
but you are not you.
40
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:22,022
No, you are a beefy
lake-house owner
41
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:23,524
in town
for the sailing convention,
42
00:01:23,592 --> 00:01:25,192
and you are hungry.
43
00:01:25,260 --> 00:01:26,627
No, I'm not. I just had grapes.
44
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,761
Damn it! [Sighs]
45
00:01:27,829 --> 00:01:29,800
[Rapping]
I'm not the Butler
46
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:31,098
I'll cut ya, headbutt ya
47
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:33,767
Mom, Eddie's rapping
at my always-there bear.
48
00:01:33,835 --> 00:01:35,135
Did they give you
that pin for narc-ing?
49
00:01:35,203 --> 00:01:36,904
No, that's tattle-turtle.
50
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:39,540
This is for the school's
best attendance record.
51
00:01:39,608 --> 00:01:42,262
Why is this billboard
so far away?
52
00:01:42,282 --> 00:01:43,960
You could have put it here.
53
00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,947
Or here. Or here.
54
00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:48,615
Louis: Well, those big companies
55
00:01:48,683 --> 00:01:50,784
can afford to
put billboards anywhere.
56
00:01:50,852 --> 00:01:53,748
I have to be more strategic.
57
00:01:54,419 --> 00:01:55,220
See?
58
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,392
Now, this is the best billboard
spot in all of Orlando.
59
00:01:58,460 --> 00:01:59,727
It's the longest red light,
60
00:01:59,794 --> 00:02:02,229
there's no tall buildings
to block the view,
61
00:02:02,297 --> 00:02:05,666
and there's a homeless man
who's always on the corner,
62
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,067
reminding drivers
that they're hungry.
63
00:02:07,135 --> 00:02:09,603
Is that a bird in his pocket?
64
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:10,904
Yes. It's dead.
65
00:02:10,972 --> 00:02:13,740
So, naturally, you divert
your eyes away from him,
66
00:02:13,808 --> 00:02:16,577
you turn your head,
and you look up to see...
67
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,015
Whoa, cool! Did you really
hold up that cow?!
68
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:23,250
Yeah, I did.
69
00:02:23,318 --> 00:02:26,448
It was heavy, too.
He had just had lunch.
70
00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:29,590
[School bell rings] Meanwhile,
I had my own problems,
71
00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:30,757
but they weren't at school.
72
00:02:30,825 --> 00:02:32,826
As tough as school was,
73
00:02:32,846 --> 00:02:34,753
it was a cakewalk
compared to the bus.
74
00:02:34,773 --> 00:02:36,146
[Indistinct conversation]
75
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,030
Wild, wild west
76
00:02:37,098 --> 00:02:38,665
[Indistinct shouting]
77
00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:39,967
Wild, wild west
78
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,735
- Boy: Got ya!
- Boy 2: Oh-oh! No fair!
79
00:02:41,803 --> 00:02:43,203
The bus was the only part of the day
80
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:44,438
without adult supervision.
81
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,639
So me and the other
sixth graders
82
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,107
were left to fend for ourselves.
83
00:02:47,175 --> 00:02:48,542
If you wanted to survive,
84
00:02:48,609 --> 00:02:50,310
you had to stay up front
and pretend to sleep.
85
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,978
If you didn't, things could get ugly.
86
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,047
I just glad I got
to keep ol' Bess here.
87
00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:56,216
My teachers usually
like to keep my projects,
88
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:57,884
but that's not fair
to my parents.
89
00:02:57,952 --> 00:02:59,519
They fund my creations...
[Screams]
90
00:02:59,587 --> 00:03:00,954
[Crunch!] Oh, Bess!
91
00:03:01,022 --> 00:03:02,689
[Clatter]
92
00:03:02,757 --> 00:03:03,690
Fool.
93
00:03:03,758 --> 00:03:05,158
Better him than us.
94
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,827
Sure, the driver was there,
95
00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:09,162
but he wasn't
paid enough to care.
96
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,664
[Sighs] Lucky hands.
97
00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:12,532
Lucky hands.
98
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,801
The only bright spot
on the daily hell ride
99
00:03:14,869 --> 00:03:16,136
was my neighbor Nicole.
100
00:03:16,204 --> 00:03:17,771
She was as tough
as a stale tootsie roll,
101
00:03:17,838 --> 00:03:20,073
and I loved it. [Sighs]
102
00:03:20,141 --> 00:03:22,442
Hey.
103
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,578
[Shouting continues]
104
00:03:24,645 --> 00:03:27,547
[Laughter]
wild, wild west
105
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:30,016
What are you looking at?
106
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,319
Wild, wild west
107
00:03:33,192 --> 00:03:35,306
I'll get this to his mother.
108
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,086
One bloomin' onion.
109
00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:42,909
Uh, Mitch,
I think you meant to say
110
00:03:42,929 --> 00:03:44,697
booming onion. [Chuckles]
111
00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,832
"Blooming onion"
is the intellectual property
112
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,801
of another,
less-good restaurant, okay?
113
00:03:48,869 --> 00:03:50,102
Right.
114
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,604
Like they have potato skins,
115
00:03:51,672 --> 00:03:53,239
but we have tomato skins.
116
00:03:53,306 --> 00:03:54,373
Nope. No, no.
117
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:55,674
No, none of your ideas...
118
00:03:55,742 --> 00:03:58,144
no tomato skins,
no jalapeno toppers,
119
00:03:58,211 --> 00:03:59,745
and no buffalo things.
120
00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:01,547
You know,
I don't have to take this.
121
00:04:01,615 --> 00:04:04,350
I get job offers all the time
from other restaurants.
122
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,686
There's heat on Mitch. Oh, yeah.
123
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,711
Louis, you were right
about the billboard.
124
00:04:11,731 --> 00:04:13,940
I told you. The place
has been packed all day.
125
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,861
People have been coming up to me
and talking to me about it.
126
00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:19,164
Hmm. One lady even let me
cut in front of her in line
127
00:04:19,232 --> 00:04:20,766
at the grocery store.
128
00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:23,435
Wow, you usually get into fights
at the grocery store.
129
00:04:23,503 --> 00:04:24,403
I know! [Chuckles]
130
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:25,671
And we have been invited
131
00:04:25,738 --> 00:04:28,473
to the chamber of commerce
charity-fundraising event.
132
00:04:28,541 --> 00:04:29,508
Hmm.
133
00:04:29,575 --> 00:04:31,843
It's at a country club!
[Gasps]
134
00:04:31,911 --> 00:04:33,979
[Chkles] Why are you so
excited about a country club?
135
00:04:34,047 --> 00:04:35,881
Because of "Caddyshack"!
136
00:04:35,949 --> 00:04:39,184
It's my favorite movie...
set in a country club.
137
00:04:39,794 --> 00:04:41,913
I've always wanted to go to one.
Hmm.
138
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,566
[Chuckles] "Spaulding, get
your foot off the boat!"
139
00:04:43,586 --> 00:04:44,611
[Laughs]
140
00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:47,740
It's so much yelling.
It's so good.
141
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,327
[School bell rings]
142
00:04:49,395 --> 00:04:50,829
[Indistinct shouting]
143
00:04:53,332 --> 00:04:54,899
Tess is not with Nicole today.
144
00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,768
This is my chance
to sit next to her.
145
00:04:56,836 --> 00:04:58,303
Shut up.
You'll get us all killed.
146
00:04:58,370 --> 00:04:59,571
I need to show her
147
00:04:59,638 --> 00:05:01,472
that I'm not just a little kid
that naps on the bus,
148
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,775
and I'm gonna do it with this.
149
00:05:05,544 --> 00:05:08,146
I'm holding up
Ice Cube's "Predator" album.
150
00:05:08,213 --> 00:05:09,947
"Parental advisory."
151
00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:12,750
Once she gets I listen to badass
music, she'll know I'm down.
152
00:05:12,818 --> 00:05:15,086
Unh-unh
[Rapping]
and, no,
I'm not the Butler, I'll cut ya
153
00:05:15,154 --> 00:05:17,388
Headbutt ya,
you say you can't touch this
154
00:05:17,456 --> 00:05:19,690
And I wouldn't touch ya,
in fact I'll buck ya
155
00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,826
Unh
here to let you know, boy, oh, boy
156
00:05:21,894 --> 00:05:24,128
Feel this, girl.
157
00:05:24,196 --> 00:05:26,534
This ain't no kind
of motion picture
158
00:05:26,554 --> 00:05:28,760
Damn, you're a grown-ass man.
159
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:30,292
I'll get...
160
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,018
Check yo self
before you wreck yo self
161
00:05:34,038 --> 00:05:35,839
'Cause I'm bad
for your health
162
00:05:35,907 --> 00:05:38,809
I come real stealth,
ye-e-e-ah
163
00:05:38,877 --> 00:05:41,145
Check yo self
before you wreck yo self
164
00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:44,081
Chickety-check yo self
before you wreck yo self
165
00:05:44,149 --> 00:05:45,782
'Cause tricks like you is
166
00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:49,086
B-a-a-ad for my
167
00:05:49,691 --> 00:05:51,188
he-e-e-alth
168
00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:54,491
Both:
hmm
169
00:05:54,559 --> 00:05:56,351
You better
170
00:05:56,371 --> 00:06:00,831
[Auto-tuned]
check yo se-e-e-e-e-e-if
171
00:06:01,516 --> 00:06:02,341
Yeah.
172
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:04,803
Dave: Hey, did you just
fall asleep for real?
173
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,731
You cannot fall asleep for real.
174
00:06:06,751 --> 00:06:08,248
Shut up.
175
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,906
[Sighs] I'm going back there.
176
00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:12,011
I can't watch this.
177
00:06:13,445 --> 00:06:14,978
Yeah, yeah
178
00:06:15,046 --> 00:06:17,080
Yeah, yeah
179
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:20,409
How did it go?
180
00:06:20,429 --> 00:06:22,566
They took my pants
and threw it out the window.
181
00:06:22,586 --> 00:06:25,321
Dig, dig, I dig, dig, I dig
182
00:06:25,389 --> 00:06:26,923
[Scatting]
183
00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,357
It took me forever
184
00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:29,759
to get home from school
that day without my pants,
185
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:31,160
so I had a lot of time to think.
186
00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:32,895
If I was gonna
share headphones with Nicole,
187
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:34,564
it wasn't gonna happen
on the bus.
188
00:06:34,631 --> 00:06:36,566
I needed
one-on-one time with her.
189
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:38,568
Thanks. See you in carpool
tomorrow, Mrs. Wilson.
190
00:06:38,635 --> 00:06:40,536
[Car door closes]
Eddie: Carpool.
191
00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:44,379
Who said that?
Is someone in there?
192
00:06:44,826 --> 00:06:46,107
No.
193
00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:48,544
[Panting]
194
00:06:48,612 --> 00:06:50,435
A bush kid!
195
00:06:53,966 --> 00:06:55,951
Which one says I am
rich enough to be invited
196
00:06:56,019 --> 00:06:59,114
but not rich enough that you
could ask me to donate money?
197
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:02,297
I think the one with
the Tokyo Disney on the label.
198
00:07:02,484 --> 00:07:05,127
Mom, I don't want to
ride the bus anymore.
199
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:07,029
I want to carpool,
and here's 50 reasons why I...
200
00:07:07,163 --> 00:07:08,580
- Okay.
- Okay?!
201
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,433
Well, what can I say, you caught
me in a charitable mood.
202
00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:12,901
But not too charitable.
203
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:14,569
Yes, girl. Yes.
204
00:07:14,637 --> 00:07:15,737
Great! [Chuckles]
205
00:07:15,805 --> 00:07:17,038
Oh, hey.
206
00:07:17,106 --> 00:07:20,308
Maybe your stepdaughter Nicole
would like to join?
207
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:21,543
Sure.
208
00:07:21,611 --> 00:07:23,512
I'll ask Marvin,
and then he'll ask her,
209
00:07:23,579 --> 00:07:25,347
and she'll tell him
what her answer is.
210
00:07:25,414 --> 00:07:27,649
It's like the way
we communicate at dinner.
211
00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:29,551
Takes a long time
to get the salt.
212
00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:32,052
[Exhales sharply] Yes!
213
00:07:33,422 --> 00:07:35,323
That seat's taken.
Get in the back.
214
00:07:35,391 --> 00:07:37,962
Are you saving that seat
for your attitude?
215
00:07:39,395 --> 00:07:40,829
My bus friends already miss me,
216
00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:42,831
so they dropped off
this breakfast burrito.
217
00:07:42,898 --> 00:07:44,578
So sweet.
218
00:07:44,827 --> 00:07:46,701
Get in the back.
219
00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:48,269
Dad, why are you coming?
220
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:52,238
Oh. I want to see the billboard
glistening in the morning dew.
221
00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:54,676
Okay, but don't do anything
embarrassing in front of Nicole.
222
00:07:54,743 --> 00:07:55,810
[High-pitched voice] Ooh!
223
00:07:55,878 --> 00:07:58,279
Aah-choo-NY!
224
00:07:58,347 --> 00:07:59,914
[Sniffs] Oh. Come on.
225
00:07:59,982 --> 00:08:02,538
[Normal voice] What?
That's how I sneeze. [Sniffs]
226
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,920
- Okay, get in. Let's go.
- But we don't have Nicole yet!
227
00:08:05,988 --> 00:08:07,355
Oh, she's not coming.
228
00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:09,824
Honey said Nicole told Marvin
that she's happy on the bus.
229
00:08:09,892 --> 00:08:12,684
But don't worry.
Your best friend, Mark, is here.
230
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:13,962
Hi!
231
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:15,723
Who's that?
232
00:08:15,743 --> 00:08:17,004
I don't even know who he is!
233
00:08:17,024 --> 00:08:19,534
You don't recognize me because
we always have our eyes closed,
234
00:08:19,602 --> 00:08:21,369
but I ride the bus with you.
235
00:08:21,437 --> 00:08:24,649
So happy not to have to
do that anymore.
236
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,708
Get in.
237
00:08:26,775 --> 00:08:27,775
[Van door closes]
238
00:08:27,843 --> 00:08:31,524
Mark, have you ever seen
a billboard?
239
00:08:31,648 --> 00:08:33,715
Picture yourself
a hungry accountant
240
00:08:33,782 --> 00:08:36,284
who's just taken his kids
to Disney world. Mm-hmm.
241
00:08:36,351 --> 00:08:38,286
Baby, here I am
242
00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:40,955
I got that good love, girl,
you didn't know?
243
00:08:41,023 --> 00:08:44,659
All I need
is one more chance
244
00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:48,429
And... the homeless man
with the dead bird
245
00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:51,316
cues us to turn our heads,
look up to the sky,
246
00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:53,778
and... aah!
247
00:08:56,775 --> 00:08:57,738
Whoa!
248
00:08:57,806 --> 00:08:59,574
There's chorizo in here!
249
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:01,309
Those guys.
250
00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:04,772
Folks, I promise,
251
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,287
we'll get someone to clean it
as soon as we can.
252
00:09:06,307 --> 00:09:07,976
Nobody tried to stop them?!
253
00:09:07,996 --> 00:09:09,244
Everyone just stood around
254
00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:11,792
and watched my husband's
face get milked on?
255
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:14,380
Nobody's gonna believe I let
a cow do that to me, right?
256
00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:15,414
I wouldn't worry.
257
00:09:15,482 --> 00:09:17,316
Probably just
random kids in the area.
258
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:18,751
This is anatomically impossible.
259
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,486
Everybody know
you got to squeeze the teat
260
00:09:20,554 --> 00:09:22,585
to produce the milk.
261
00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:25,624
I just wish it didn't look like
I was enjoying it so much.
262
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:28,107
[Horn honking]
263
00:09:29,661 --> 00:09:30,930
Why won't they hurry up?
264
00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:32,531
Calm your panties.
265
00:09:32,599 --> 00:09:34,957
You calm your panties!
I'm gonna be marked absent!
266
00:09:34,977 --> 00:09:37,482
And they'll take away
my always-there bear!
267
00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:39,472
All because of
your stupid carpool.
268
00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:40,739
Hey, I hate it, too.
269
00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:43,823
Guys, come on. don't say that
about the carpool.
270
00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:45,243
[Sighs] I'm going back to the bus.
[Horn honking]
271
00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:47,879
It may be hell, but at least
I get to see Nicole.
272
00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:49,881
Well, you'll also
get to see her tonight.
273
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:52,017
- What?
- I heard mom invite her over
274
00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:53,819
after she said no
to the carpool.
275
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,320
[Exhales sharply]
276
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:57,956
Why does everyone hate this?
277
00:09:58,024 --> 00:09:59,424
[Horn honks]
278
00:09:59,492 --> 00:10:02,060
Why won't they hurry up?!
279
00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:03,895
[Horn blares]
280
00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,564
[Doorbell rings]
281
00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:08,393
Oh, hey, girl.
282
00:10:08,413 --> 00:10:09,973
Didn't know you were
coming over tonight.
283
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,108
Caught me
strengthening my hands.
284
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,910
Wow.
285
00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:14,860
Everything okay?
286
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,352
Oh, yeah. We're gonna
have a great time.
287
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:19,082
Bye, sweetie.
Have fun babysitting.
288
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,729
"Babysitting"?
289
00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:24,621
Honey, I'm glad that you
did not wear a yellow dress
290
00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:27,023
because I am wearing
a yellow dress.
291
00:10:27,091 --> 00:10:29,069
Well, you did call me
and say not to wear yellow...
292
00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:31,594
okay, I will see you
at the country club. Bye.
293
00:10:31,662 --> 00:10:32,896
[Laughing] Bye.
294
00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:34,379
Nicole, come in.
295
00:10:36,314 --> 00:10:37,533
Um...
296
00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,168
[Door closes]...is that old
lady self-sufficient?
297
00:10:39,236 --> 00:10:41,471
Because my parents showed me
"Cocoon" when I was little,
298
00:10:41,538 --> 00:10:42,531
and I just can't.
299
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:43,675
Oh, she's fine.
300
00:10:43,695 --> 00:10:46,242
She'll fight you for dominance
and then fall asleep.
301
00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:47,979
Okay.
302
00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:51,080
Babysitting?
Why can't grandma watch us?
303
00:10:51,148 --> 00:10:54,346
Because last time,
she charged me $100 an hour.
304
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:56,600
_
305
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,887
All right,
we've got to get going.
306
00:10:57,955 --> 00:10:59,822
Nicole, some ground rules...
no scary movies.
307
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:01,190
Jessica:
If you watch "Jurassic Park,"
308
00:11:01,258 --> 00:11:02,525
fast-forward when
the water glass trembles.
309
00:11:02,593 --> 00:11:03,726
Eddie doesn't like it
310
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,228
when the T. Rex
gives the jeep the big eye.
311
00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:07,597
He also has gentle bowels,
so only bland foods.
312
00:11:07,664 --> 00:11:09,065
What is happening?
313
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:11,801
They should all be in bed by
9:00, and if anyone feels warm,
314
00:11:11,869 --> 00:11:13,469
there's a thermometer
and flintstones chewables.
315
00:11:13,537 --> 00:11:14,670
Both: Orange, orange, grape.
316
00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:16,606
And, Nicole, I missed school
this morning,
317
00:11:16,673 --> 00:11:18,107
so they took away
my always-there bear,
318
00:11:18,175 --> 00:11:19,442
and I feel...
319
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,844
- Okay, they're all yours!
- Open bar ends at 7:00, bye!
320
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:23,312
Thank you!
321
00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:29,118
Unh, unh, unh, unh
322
00:11:29,186 --> 00:11:32,588
Look at us... all dressed up,
going to a country club.
323
00:11:32,656 --> 00:11:34,090
[Chuckles]
324
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:37,126
"Hey, everybody,
we're all gonna get laid!"
325
00:11:37,193 --> 00:11:38,260
[Chuckles]
326
00:11:38,328 --> 00:11:40,029
That's also a line
from "Caddyshack."
327
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:42,031
Ah. [Chuckles]
328
00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:44,004
This is all
because of you, Louis.
329
00:11:44,024 --> 00:11:46,201
When we first moved down here
and you opened the restaurant,
330
00:11:46,269 --> 00:11:49,004
everybody doubted you,
including me. Hmm.
331
00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:52,284
But you saw something
that no one else did.
332
00:11:52,906 --> 00:11:54,982
You are a visionary.
333
00:11:55,002 --> 00:11:56,412
Thank you. That's nice to hear.
334
00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:58,747
You know, when I first
move us down here...
335
00:11:58,815 --> 00:12:00,783
[gasps] What the hell?!
336
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:03,952
"Thief"?
337
00:12:03,972 --> 00:12:05,654
As in sneaky!
338
00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:08,740
They are calling us
sneaky asians!
339
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,593
Random kids, my ass...
we are being targeted!
340
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:14,429
What my mom didn't know was
that the billboard was right...
341
00:12:14,497 --> 00:12:16,298
my dad was sneaky.
342
00:12:17,064 --> 00:12:19,904
Cattleman's Ranch was a total
knockoff of Golden Saddle.
343
00:12:19,924 --> 00:12:21,118
[Texan accent]
And that's what you get
344
00:12:21,138 --> 00:12:24,072
when you buy
a Golden Saddle franchise.
345
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:27,576
It's all covered in this
confidential operations manual.
346
00:12:27,644 --> 00:12:29,761
He rolled into town
and jacked their manual
347
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:33,548
because, like I said,
he would do whatever it took.
348
00:12:33,616 --> 00:12:36,285
[Breathing heavily]
349
00:12:41,357 --> 00:12:42,424
It's a hate crime.
350
00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:44,659
It's a hate crime!
I mean, it's obvious!
351
00:12:44,727 --> 00:12:46,661
Probably just random kids again.
352
00:12:46,729 --> 00:12:50,126
No! If it was random kids, they
would have hit the Hoagie King!
353
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,345
It paints itself, really.
354
00:12:58,356 --> 00:12:59,656
[Piano music playing]
355
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:02,859
You know, when sheryl and I
started angel smile wish,
356
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:05,985
we never thought
we'd touch so many tiny hearts.
357
00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:08,764
So, please, give generously.
358
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:11,067
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
359
00:13:11,134 --> 00:13:13,621
Is this charity
for children or dogs?
360
00:13:15,064 --> 00:13:18,148
You know, I thought
it was for the environment.
361
00:13:19,309 --> 00:13:20,543
Okay, back to my thing.
362
00:13:20,610 --> 00:13:23,145
So, like I was saying,
it's a hate crime.
363
00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:24,814
[Chuckling]
She's jumping to conclusions.
364
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,888
Oh, how beautiful
is this butter?
365
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,084
[Chuckles] Seashells!
366
00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:30,519
I think I can hear the ocean.
367
00:13:30,587 --> 00:13:32,188
[Laughs loudly]
368
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,462
You're starting early.
369
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:39,143
You know, some people just can't
stand to see minorities succeed.
370
00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:40,977
It's Mike Tyson all over again.
371
00:13:40,997 --> 00:13:43,231
He's doing great,
he's killing it,
372
00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:45,667
and then they make him marry
the actress from "Boomerang,"
373
00:13:45,735 --> 00:13:47,712
and bam!... Champ is broke.
374
00:13:47,732 --> 00:13:48,670
Halle Berry?
375
00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:51,201
No, the sexy, mean one
with the pretty toes.
376
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:54,876
Well, you know, our councilman
is sitting right over there.
377
00:13:54,944 --> 00:13:56,177
You should tell him
that this happened.
378
00:13:56,245 --> 00:13:57,846
That's a good idea.
379
00:13:57,914 --> 00:14:01,416
He should know about a hate
crime happening in his district.
380
00:14:02,852 --> 00:14:04,444
Uh, Jessica, stop!
381
00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:06,522
What is wrong with you?
382
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:08,288
I'm just gonna
tell our councilman.
383
00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:10,425
I need to show you something.
384
00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:12,727
I h something
coming out of...
385
00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:13,995
I don't believe this.
386
00:14:14,451 --> 00:14:15,964
This is exactly our restaurant.
387
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,232
They copied us. [Bell jingles]
388
00:14:17,299 --> 00:14:19,834
No, Jessica. I copied them.
389
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,970
[Indistinct conversations]
390
00:14:22,038 --> 00:14:23,638
[Bell jingles]
391
00:14:23,706 --> 00:14:25,907
[Coins clinking]
392
00:14:25,975 --> 00:14:28,209
[Upbeat music plays]
393
00:14:29,811 --> 00:14:30,864
Sorry about before.
394
00:14:30,884 --> 00:14:33,648
I didn't know my mom had hired
someone to co-babysit with me.
395
00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:36,570
But I'm happy to have the help.
These two are handfuls.
396
00:14:36,638 --> 00:14:38,905
But it goes so fast.
I try to cherish it.
397
00:14:38,973 --> 00:14:40,574
You know what goes fast? Me.
398
00:14:40,642 --> 00:14:43,120
I can run to the end
of the street in eight seconds.
399
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:44,383
Time me.
400
00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:46,380
Wear a jacket!
[Door opens, closes]
401
00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:47,714
How old are you?
402
00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:49,850
Old enough to read this
parental-advisory sticker
403
00:14:49,917 --> 00:14:51,766
and ignore it.
404
00:14:51,786 --> 00:14:53,020
Want to listen?
405
00:14:53,087 --> 00:14:55,288
[Telephone rings, beeps]
406
00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:57,419
- Hello?
- Boy: Hey, girl.
407
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,392
Oh, hey. Uh, hold on.
408
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:01,451
Let me go in the other room.
409
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,530
It's this guy I know.
410
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,475
Yo, it's me. [Door opens]
411
00:15:05,761 --> 00:15:07,664
[Panting]
412
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,459
The Smiths' German Shepherd
took a run at me.
413
00:15:11,479 --> 00:15:13,966
Don't tell mom.
She'll have him put down.
414
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,130
Jessica: I don't understand.
415
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,478
This was your big dream?
416
00:15:18,545 --> 00:15:21,013
To move down here
and copy this place?
417
00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:24,350
No, my original plan was to
buy a Golden Saddle franchise.
418
00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:25,685
And that's what you get
419
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:28,855
when you buy
a Golden Saddle franchise.
420
00:15:28,922 --> 00:15:32,872
It's all covered in this
confidential operations manual.
421
00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:35,513
All that's left now
is to sign the paperwork
422
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:39,145
and collect
your $50,000 franchise fee.
423
00:15:39,165 --> 00:15:41,433
Oh! And to size you
for your belt buckles!
424
00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:43,902
- Oh. [Chuckles]
- You want your belt buckles, mm!
425
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:44,970
Uh, great.
426
00:15:45,038 --> 00:15:46,071
I'll give you $10,000 up front
427
00:15:46,139 --> 00:15:47,539
and put the rest
on a payment plan.
428
00:15:47,607 --> 00:15:48,841
No, no. I need
the whole amount right now.
429
00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:50,342
The whole amount?
430
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,745
[Chuckling] Well,
who has that kind of money?
431
00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:54,713
I guess they do.
432
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:56,014
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
433
00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,717
Uh... I have to pee.
434
00:16:00,378 --> 00:16:01,315
Yeah!
435
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,020
[Sighs]
436
00:16:02,088 --> 00:16:03,756
Go pee. [Laughing] I'm not
gonna stop you from peeing.
437
00:16:03,823 --> 00:16:05,958
This is America. You can pee if you want.
[Laughing]
438
00:16:06,025 --> 00:16:07,626
I'll go pee.
439
00:16:07,694 --> 00:16:09,528
Yeah. Take that book with you.
It's good reading material. Okay.
440
00:16:09,596 --> 00:16:11,530
It is good reading material.
441
00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:12,731
I like that guy.
442
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:16,025
And then I jumped
out the bathroom window.
443
00:16:16,736 --> 00:16:18,003
I didn't have the money,
444
00:16:18,071 --> 00:16:21,327
but I still had my dream
of a better life for our family.
445
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,575
So I took what I did have,
446
00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:25,544
and I opened
a steakhouse of my own.
447
00:16:25,612 --> 00:16:27,694
Oh, why didn't you tell me?
448
00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:29,728
Because I was ashamed.
449
00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:32,084
I wanted you to think
I was a visionary. [Sighs]
450
00:16:32,151 --> 00:16:36,183
Louis... What you did was smart.
451
00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:38,675
Just like you were smart
452
00:16:38,695 --> 00:16:41,610
to move down here and open up
your own restaurant
453
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:44,829
and pick the perfect
billboard location.
454
00:16:44,897 --> 00:16:46,497
Hmm.
455
00:16:46,565 --> 00:16:48,574
You're a good businessman.
456
00:16:48,947 --> 00:16:52,434
And I would choose a good
businessman over a visionary
457
00:16:52,454 --> 00:16:54,244
any day of the week.
458
00:16:56,228 --> 00:16:58,042
Besides, you made it your own.
459
00:16:58,110 --> 00:16:59,844
You added a salad bar,
460
00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:02,647
you have "wanted" posters
for people who bounce checks,
461
00:17:02,715 --> 00:17:05,316
and the bears
aren't even the same color.
462
00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:07,352
[Bell jingling] Thank you!
463
00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:10,536
And it's not like Golden Saddle
owns the idea of a steakhouse.
464
00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:11,956
- They don't.
- Mnh-mnh.
465
00:17:12,024 --> 00:17:13,457
It's like, uh, sizzler's just a
cheaper knockoff of Black Angus.
466
00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:14,959
- Mm-hmm.
- And Black Angus
467
00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:17,061
is just a cheaper knockoff
of Ruth's Chris!
468
00:17:17,129 --> 00:17:20,230
And they are all just chasing
that Morton's ring.
469
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:21,809
[Both laugh]
470
00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:23,757
Finnegan:
I see you got my message.
471
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,689
Hello, thief.
472
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,052
Mrs. Thief.
473
00:17:27,072 --> 00:17:30,174
Finnegan.
This is Jessica, my wife.
474
00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:31,275
[Chuckling]
Oh, well, well, well.
475
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,343
Look who has
an Asian fetish, too.
476
00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:35,969
I guess Louis
copies everything I do.
477
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:37,181
What's your problem?
478
00:17:37,248 --> 00:17:38,982
Your restaurant's busy.
You own 10 franchises.
479
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,384
You're doing great.
480
00:17:40,452 --> 00:17:42,753
And you are doing well,
which I don't like.
481
00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:44,188
You're just upset
482
00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:46,927
because Louis didn't pay
your ridiculous franchise fee.
483
00:17:46,947 --> 00:17:49,793
He is a smarter businessman
than you are.
484
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:54,311
Oh, you think so? Then how come
I stole his favorite employee?
485
00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:55,908
Mitchell!
486
00:17:57,602 --> 00:17:59,102
Mitch?
487
00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:00,370
Oh. Uh, sorry, guys.
488
00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:02,272
How could you do this?
We were a family.
489
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:03,988
He offered to double my salary.
490
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,308
But, I mean, if you guys
want to do that...
491
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,676
Goodbye forever, Mitch.
492
00:18:06,744 --> 00:18:07,877
Jessica: If you think
stealing our employee
493
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,112
and vandalizing our billboard
494
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:11,681
is gonna make us back down,
you are wrong.
495
00:18:11,749 --> 00:18:12,849
Yeah, you better watch out
496
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,751
because "Scarface"
and "Miller's Crossing"
497
00:18:14,819 --> 00:18:16,511
are coming at ya.
498
00:18:16,531 --> 00:18:18,054
Wait. Is that...
499
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,156
is that what you two guys
call each other?
500
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,159
There's nothing I hate more
501
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,478
than a couple of lousy,
no-good cinephiles.
502
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,731
[Insects chirping]
503
00:18:31,435 --> 00:18:33,360
I made myself a new pin.
504
00:18:33,604 --> 00:18:35,838
"Usually-there bear."
505
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,540
I hate it.
506
00:18:40,849 --> 00:18:42,278
[Inhales sharply]
507
00:18:45,883 --> 00:18:48,451
Didn't your parents say you have
a weak stomach or something?
508
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:49,819
Yeah, "week,"
509
00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:52,555
as in I can eat this stuff
for seven days straight.
510
00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:01,357
[Water running]
Uh, are you okay?
511
00:19:01,377 --> 00:19:03,234
[Water stops]
Don't come in here!
512
00:19:03,254 --> 00:19:04,702
Were you running the shower?
513
00:19:04,722 --> 00:19:06,293
I can't talk
to you right now, please!
514
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,570
[Water runs]
515
00:19:07,638 --> 00:19:09,539
[Sighs]
516
00:19:09,559 --> 00:19:10,821
[Toilet flushes]
517
00:19:10,841 --> 00:19:13,275
[Sighs] Now, where were we?
518
00:19:13,343 --> 00:19:14,830
Nope.
519
00:19:15,812 --> 00:19:17,546
[Door closes] [Water runs]
520
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,548
Sure, my dad would do
whatever it took,
521
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:22,218
but the tough guy in my family
had always been moms.
522
00:19:22,285 --> 00:19:24,386
Great idea, Jessica. Mm.
523
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,356
You don't think
it's too clever, do you?
524
00:19:27,424 --> 00:19:28,791
I want them to get it.
525
00:19:28,858 --> 00:19:31,393
Hmm.
526
00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:35,133
I guess this wasn't the
country-club night you imagined.
527
00:19:35,153 --> 00:19:38,901
Are you kidding?
We stuck it to a rich guy.
528
00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,246
It's just like "Caddyshack."
529
00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:43,906
[Siren wailing]
530
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,407
Run, Jessica! Run!
531
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,243
[Rattling]
532
00:19:49,078 --> 00:19:50,546
I am so sorry we're late.
533
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:53,323
I know we said
we'd be home earlier.
534
00:19:53,343 --> 00:19:54,316
What happened?
535
00:19:54,384 --> 00:19:57,054
Did the Smiths' dog
go after you, too?
536
00:19:58,354 --> 00:20:00,455
- Yes. [Chuckles]
- That dog needs to be put down.
537
00:20:00,523 --> 00:20:01,680
Eddie: Mom, is that you?
538
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,906
Are you home?!
Don't say anything to her!
539
00:20:03,926 --> 00:20:06,862
Well, E-Eddie's been in the
bathroom with some stomach issues.
540
00:20:06,929 --> 00:20:08,196
Oh, it's probably
because he likes you.
541
00:20:08,264 --> 00:20:09,331
Mom!
542
00:20:09,398 --> 00:20:10,565
It sounds like
you're talking to her!
543
00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:12,400
Don't talk to her, okay?
544
00:20:12,468 --> 00:20:15,604
[Sighs] Oh. That's why he asked
to borrow my old spice. Oh.
545
00:20:15,671 --> 00:20:16,771
Nantucket wind.
546
00:20:16,839 --> 00:20:18,573
Well, I'm gonna head.
547
00:20:18,641 --> 00:20:21,276
Okay, well, thank you for
watching the boys. Hmm.
548
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:24,279
Oh, and tell Eddie,
um, I listened to this.
549
00:20:24,347 --> 00:20:26,548
It's good. I'm keeping it.
550
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:28,216
Okay. [Chuckles]
551
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:29,718
There you go.
552
00:20:29,785 --> 00:20:32,187
[Both sigh]
553
00:20:34,123 --> 00:20:35,890
Eddie: Mom, did she leave?
554
00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:38,574
Has she left?
Can you come in here, please?
555
00:20:39,897 --> 00:20:41,164
[Indistinct shouting]
556
00:20:43,232 --> 00:20:44,766
Nicole: Hey.
557
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:47,969
[The notorious B.I.G.'s
"One more chance" plays]
558
00:20:48,037 --> 00:20:49,537
Hey.
559
00:20:49,605 --> 00:20:51,105
Unh, what?
560
00:20:51,173 --> 00:20:52,940
That's right, that's right
561
00:20:53,008 --> 00:20:57,056
Ooh, yeah-ah-ah
562
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,279
Bad boy
563
00:20:58,347 --> 00:21:01,883
All I need
is one more chance
564
00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:03,985
One more chance
565
00:21:04,052 --> 00:21:06,521
Unh
I can help you find yourself
566
00:21:06,588 --> 00:21:08,656
I got that good love, girl,
you didn't know?
567
00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:12,307
Unh
'cause you don't need nobody else
568
00:21:12,327 --> 00:21:13,757
[Sighs] Yes.
569
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,907
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
570
00:21:16,957 --> 00:21:21,507
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40956
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
