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1
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,804
Eddie: Orlando, 1995.
2
00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:07,939
Just as glamorous as it sounds.
3
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:10,142
My dad moved our family there
from D.C.
4
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,977
So he could open
his own restaurant,
5
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,179
but business wasn't going
quite the way he planned...
6
00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:17,582
he planned to have customers,
and he didn't.
7
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,584
Moms was worried, too,
about money
8
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:21,586
and about fitting in
with the neighborhood women.
9
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:23,722
So, "Melrose Place"
10
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:26,691
is about prostitutes
who are mad at each other.
11
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:27,759
Yes.
12
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:30,862
The one person
who never seemed to worry
13
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,364
was my younger brother Emery.
14
00:00:32,398 --> 00:00:33,999
He blended in like a chameleon.
15
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,468
My favorite movie's "Gremlins."
16
00:00:36,502 --> 00:00:40,757
And grandma and Evan were just
hanging out, squishing bugs.
17
00:00:42,605 --> 00:00:44,496
And that's me,
your boy Eddie Huang,
18
00:00:44,516 --> 00:00:47,408
still straight struggling
to fit in at my new school.
19
00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:51,118
[Grunts]
20
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,399
Dude, are those nurse's shoes?
21
00:00:54,231 --> 00:00:56,340
Yeah, they're your mom's.
22
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,821
My mom does
happen to be a nurse,
23
00:00:57,856 --> 00:00:59,490
and she helps sick people
get better.
24
00:00:59,524 --> 00:01:00,791
Can't wait to tell everybody
25
00:01:00,825 --> 00:01:03,394
the new Chinese kid
wears nurse's shoes.
26
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,396
Walter's not
wearing Jordans, either!
27
00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:07,364
He doesn't need to...
he's black.
28
00:01:07,399 --> 00:01:10,202
That's like built-in Jordans.
29
00:01:11,057 --> 00:01:12,603
This school's ridiculous.
30
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:13,804
They were jerks, but remember,
31
00:01:13,838 --> 00:01:16,430
this was 1995,
before the Internet.
32
00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:18,956
I couldn't just search
"Asian kids who like hip-hop."
33
00:01:18,976 --> 00:01:20,377
I had to figure out
a way to fit in
34
00:01:20,411 --> 00:01:23,642
or be stuck eating lunch
with the janitor and his kite.
35
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:26,383
I'm just saying, don't call it
a seasonal fruit salad
36
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:29,019
if it's nothing but melons.
37
00:01:29,536 --> 00:01:31,102
S01E03
The Shunning
38
00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:32,255
Fresh off the boat
39
00:01:32,289 --> 00:01:34,124
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
40
00:01:34,158 --> 00:01:36,259
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
41
00:01:36,293 --> 00:01:37,527
Fresh off the boat
42
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:39,929
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
43
00:01:39,964 --> 00:01:41,131
But I know where I'm goin'
44
00:01:41,165 --> 00:01:43,032
I'm fresh off the boat
45
00:01:43,052 --> 00:01:44,842
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:01:47,403 --> 00:01:48,552
My famous tuna salad.
47
00:01:48,572 --> 00:01:49,539
All: Mmm!
48
00:01:49,573 --> 00:01:51,207
Mac and cheese with bacon bits.
49
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,074
Ooh!
50
00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:54,377
Stinky tofu.
51
00:01:54,411 --> 00:01:55,611
Hmm.
52
00:01:55,646 --> 00:01:57,947
That's exotic. Hmm.
53
00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:03,252
How is this Fuller than before?
54
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,121
Aren't you gonna try some?
55
00:02:05,155 --> 00:02:06,622
Oh! No.
56
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,424
But I admire you for making it.
57
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:09,926
It's that enterprising spirit
58
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,128
that made Taiwan a world power
in little league baseball.
59
00:02:12,162 --> 00:02:14,330
I watched a documentary
about China in college.
60
00:02:14,364 --> 00:02:15,631
[Chuckles]
61
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:19,301
You guys, I am so excited
for this year's block party.
62
00:02:19,336 --> 00:02:22,438
[Giggles] I am so excited
about our karaoke number. Oh!
63
00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:24,407
What's the party for?
64
00:02:24,441 --> 00:02:26,275
All: The Daytona 500.
65
00:02:26,309 --> 00:02:27,777
What's the Daytona 500?
66
00:02:27,811 --> 00:02:29,879
We watch cars race around
speedways 200 times,
67
00:02:29,913 --> 00:02:31,947
stopping only for fuel
or engine maintenance,
68
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:33,449
and although
the ultimate cup winner
69
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,117
is decided by
an elaborate points system,
70
00:02:35,152 --> 00:02:36,752
individual race winners
can still celebrate
71
00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,755
by getting a grandfather clock
or drinking a glass of milk.
72
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:42,625
Caveat... drinking milk
isn't specifically Nascar,
73
00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,627
but auto racing in general.
[Chuckles] Mm.
74
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:47,196
Do you have any aspirin?
75
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:53,002
[Louis laughs]
Hey, there, neighbor!
76
00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:54,169
Hello, neighbor. [Laughs]
77
00:02:54,204 --> 00:02:55,371
- I'm Louis.
- I'm Marvin.
78
00:02:55,405 --> 00:02:56,939
Hello. This is Honey.
79
00:02:56,973 --> 00:02:58,574
- Hello. [Chuckles]
- Hi! [Chuckles]
80
00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:00,309
We just got back
from a month in the keys.
81
00:03:00,343 --> 00:03:01,477
Oh, that's wonderful
82
00:03:01,511 --> 00:03:03,612
you took your daughter
on such a nice vacation!
83
00:03:03,647 --> 00:03:05,347
Your dad is a good man.
84
00:03:05,382 --> 00:03:06,415
Listen to him.
85
00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:07,416
Stay in school.
86
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:08,484
She's my wife.
87
00:03:08,518 --> 00:03:09,551
Of course she's your wife.
88
00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:10,819
She doesn't look like you
at all.
89
00:03:10,854 --> 00:03:12,988
[Laughs]
90
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:14,123
[Chuckles nervously]
91
00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,025
Yikes.
92
00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:20,462
Oh, no.
93
00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:22,097
You're reading Stephen King.
What's wrong?
94
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:25,367
I have nothing in common
with these neighborhood women.
95
00:03:25,401 --> 00:03:28,771
I miss my friends back in D.C.
96
00:03:28,805 --> 00:03:30,172
We had such pleasant talks.
97
00:03:30,206 --> 00:03:32,141
[All screaming in Chinese]
98
00:03:36,679 --> 00:03:38,380
I guess I'm just lonely.
99
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,819
_
100
00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:44,500
_
101
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,755
You'll make new friends.
It just take time.
102
00:03:46,789 --> 00:03:47,956
And stop reading that book.
103
00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:49,824
Those stories
always give you nightmares.
104
00:03:49,859 --> 00:03:51,493
You know
what gives me nightmares?
105
00:03:51,527 --> 00:03:52,982
Our bank account.
106
00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:56,658
Stephen King
should publish my checkbook.
107
00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,367
Mom, can I get
the new Air Jordans?
108
00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:00,602
- Wh...
- Why not?
109
00:04:00,636 --> 00:04:02,003
They don't cost that much.
110
00:04:02,037 --> 00:04:03,138
My sneakers aren't fine.
111
00:04:03,172 --> 00:04:04,773
You never let me get anything!
112
00:04:04,807 --> 00:04:05,740
God!
113
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:07,208
Wh...
114
00:04:07,243 --> 00:04:09,770
I'm looking forward
to when he wants a car.
115
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,520
And there's a point system,
116
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:13,925
and then something happens
with a clock,
117
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:15,431
and then the winner drinks milk.
118
00:04:15,451 --> 00:04:16,617
I love it. I love it.
119
00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:18,352
Okay, this block party
is a great opportunity
120
00:04:18,387 --> 00:04:20,087
for us to network
and promote the restaurant.
121
00:04:20,122 --> 00:04:21,946
- When is it?
- I don't know.
122
00:04:21,966 --> 00:04:23,886
There's a party-planning
meeting tonight.
123
00:04:23,906 --> 00:04:25,528
I sent representatives.
124
00:04:25,548 --> 00:04:27,695
Look, Alice, I don't want
to sound like a broken record,
125
00:04:27,729 --> 00:04:30,004
but why not a petting zoo?
126
00:04:30,024 --> 00:04:31,379
We need to show people
127
00:04:31,399 --> 00:04:33,567
that Cattleman's Ranch
has great food, you know?
128
00:04:33,602 --> 00:04:36,251
We got to generate a buzz
to bring in the customers.
129
00:04:36,271 --> 00:04:38,972
I'll get a meat smoker.
We'll give out steak and ribs.
130
00:04:39,007 --> 00:04:40,007
No, are you crazy?
131
00:04:40,041 --> 00:04:42,442
We cannot afford
to just give away food!
132
00:04:42,477 --> 00:04:44,545
The restaurant's
not making any money.
133
00:04:44,579 --> 00:04:46,246
We can barely pay our bills.
134
00:04:46,281 --> 00:04:47,915
Jessica, it's important
135
00:04:47,949 --> 00:04:50,183
to project the image
you want people to see.
136
00:04:50,218 --> 00:04:51,919
If you want to be successful,
137
00:04:51,953 --> 00:04:54,187
you have to project success.
138
00:04:54,222 --> 00:04:55,622
That's what I needed to do.
139
00:04:55,657 --> 00:04:57,524
I wanted to change the way
the kids at school saw me,
140
00:04:57,559 --> 00:04:59,159
so I turned to the one person
141
00:04:59,193 --> 00:05:01,401
who could guide me
through this...
142
00:05:01,711 --> 00:05:03,916
Ol' dirty bastard.
143
00:05:06,602 --> 00:05:09,002
["Shimmy shimmy ya" plays]
144
00:05:13,236 --> 00:05:14,741
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
145
00:05:14,776 --> 00:05:17,210
Yeah, baby, I like it raw
146
00:05:17,245 --> 00:05:19,880
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
147
00:05:19,914 --> 00:05:23,389
Yeah, baby, I like it raw
148
00:05:23,874 --> 00:05:26,700
Shimmy, shimmy ya,
shimmy yam, shimmy yay
149
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,487
Gimme the Mike
so I can take it away
150
00:05:28,522 --> 00:05:31,490
Off on a natural charge,
bon voyage
151
00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:33,859
Yeah, from the home of
the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad
152
00:05:33,894 --> 00:05:36,162
Wu-tang killer bees
on the swarm
153
00:05:36,682 --> 00:05:39,598
That's it... a hot girl
was the ultimate status symbol.
154
00:05:39,618 --> 00:05:41,300
Even if I couldn't have Jordans,
155
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,101
if I had a fine shorty
on my arm...
156
00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:44,836
psss... wouldn't matter.
157
00:05:44,871 --> 00:05:47,072
Thanks, O.D.B.!
158
00:05:47,106 --> 00:05:49,879
[Door closes] Honey: Be right back!
Taking out the trash!
159
00:05:57,350 --> 00:06:00,452
Shimmy, shimmy ya,
shimmy yam, shimmy yay
160
00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:02,921
Gimme the Mike
so I can take it away
161
00:06:02,956 --> 00:06:05,490
Off on a natural charge,
bon voyage
162
00:06:05,525 --> 00:06:07,459
Yeah, from the home of
the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad
163
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:10,362
Wu-tang killer bees
on the swarm
164
00:06:10,396 --> 00:06:12,331
Rain on ya college
disco dorm
165
00:06:12,365 --> 00:06:14,533
For you to even
touch my skill
166
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:17,502
You gotta put the one killer
bee, and he ain't gonna kill
167
00:06:17,537 --> 00:06:20,238
Now chop that down,
pass it all around
168
00:06:20,273 --> 00:06:21,540
Jessica: Eddie!
169
00:06:21,574 --> 00:06:22,974
That's very expensive!
170
00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:25,043
If you want to waste something,
you waste water!
171
00:06:25,078 --> 00:06:26,578
Do not throw juice!
172
00:06:26,612 --> 00:06:28,413
Mom, get out of my fantasy.
173
00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:31,082
Jessica, water
doesn't project success.
174
00:06:31,117 --> 00:06:32,417
Capri Sun does.
175
00:06:32,452 --> 00:06:35,187
As does
Cattleman's Ranch ribs...
176
00:06:35,221 --> 00:06:36,688
great pork at a fair price.
177
00:06:36,722 --> 00:06:39,224
Come on, fly girls.
Try a rib. Tell a friend.
178
00:06:39,258 --> 00:06:41,193
This is not free, okay?
Here we go.
179
00:06:41,227 --> 00:06:42,761
I am going to charge you all.
180
00:06:42,795 --> 00:06:43,995
Shimmy, shimmy, ya
181
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,407
Dad saw an opportunity
182
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,275
to promote our restaurant
at the Nascar party.
183
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:52,029
He just needed to figure out
what the hell Nascar was first.
184
00:06:52,365 --> 00:06:55,125
Hello. Uh, do you have
any Nascar videos?
185
00:06:55,859 --> 00:06:57,797
Car or truck,
cup series or busch,
186
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,017
short track or road race?
187
00:06:59,052 --> 00:06:59,985
I...
188
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,354
Uh, which one is the milk?
189
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:03,555
[Sighs]
190
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,284
All right. Come on.
191
00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:06,975
Eddie: Come on.
192
00:07:06,995 --> 00:07:08,060
Let's go walk past
the adult section
193
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,027
and try to see inside.
194
00:07:10,047 --> 00:07:11,972
I thought those were
the westerns.
195
00:07:11,992 --> 00:07:13,994
Only the sexy ones.
196
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,904
They die and leave their wives
their money.
197
00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:22,506
"Dolores Claiborne."
198
00:07:23,227 --> 00:07:25,209
Sometimes, they're driving home
199
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,310
from their mistress's apartment,
200
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,480
and their brakes suddenly fail.
201
00:07:29,514 --> 00:07:31,816
- An accident, Dolores...
- An accident, Dolores...
202
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:35,832
- can be an unhappy woman's best friend.
- can be an unhappy woman's best friend.
203
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:37,388
[Both laugh]
204
00:07:37,722 --> 00:07:40,057
My husband doesn't like it when
I watch Stephen King movies.
205
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,392
He thinks I get scared.
206
00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:42,326
That's the best part.
207
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:43,828
It's my favorite part.
[Chuckles]
208
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,029
I'm Honey.
209
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:47,548
My husband, Marvin, and I
are your neighbors.
210
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,248
Oh, I'm Jessica.
It's so nice to meet you.
211
00:07:50,268 --> 00:07:52,335
Nice to meet you, too.
[Both chuckle]
212
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:55,605
So you wanna be a gangster,
all that...
213
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,675
Smoke any... don't even trip
214
00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:01,778
You be hard as hell,
take whatever you want
215
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,381
Punk suckers wanna front
What happened to your leg?
216
00:08:04,415 --> 00:08:08,060
'Cause you a gangsta,
nothin' more, nothin' less
217
00:08:09,776 --> 00:08:10,954
I'm so hungover.
218
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:12,769
What?
219
00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:14,005
Hey, girl.
220
00:08:14,441 --> 00:08:15,784
How you livin'?
221
00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:18,628
I'm fine.
222
00:08:18,662 --> 00:08:20,596
Uh, hi. [Chuckles] I'm Honey.
223
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:21,530
Yeah, you are.
224
00:08:21,565 --> 00:08:23,065
Eddie, stop acting weird.
225
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,215
Go to the bathroom.
We're leaving soon.
226
00:08:25,235 --> 00:08:27,511
A'ight, mama. A'ight.
227
00:08:28,705 --> 00:08:29,805
[Sighs]
228
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,540
He seems nice. [Chuckles]
229
00:08:32,087 --> 00:08:34,424
- What was that?
- Phase one of my plan.
230
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:36,945
I need the guys from school
to see me with her.
231
00:08:36,979 --> 00:08:39,214
No one's gonna care I'm not
wearing Jordans after that.
232
00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:41,850
But she's, like, a woman.
233
00:08:41,884 --> 00:08:43,085
Exactly!
234
00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:44,519
A fine-ass woman like that
235
00:08:44,554 --> 00:08:46,755
leaning on me
like in rap videos,
236
00:08:46,789 --> 00:08:48,848
that'll get me mad respect, son.
237
00:08:48,868 --> 00:08:50,358
And these skittles
238
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:53,476
are compliments of
that gentleman over there.
239
00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:57,031
Go on, girl! Taste the rainbow!
240
00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:01,116
Louis: You know
who win every race?
241
00:09:01,136 --> 00:09:03,137
The advertising companies.
242
00:09:03,171 --> 00:09:05,105
[Scoffs] Little Debbie.
243
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:07,474
I knew a Debbie once,
but she was not little.
244
00:09:07,509 --> 00:09:09,682
[Chuckles]
She went by "big Deb."
245
00:09:09,702 --> 00:09:12,146
I'm going over to Honey's.
246
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,381
I think I found a friend
I actually like.
247
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:17,251
Oh, good. That's great.
I told you... it just take time.
248
00:09:17,285 --> 00:09:19,153
Yo, moms, you see Honey,
249
00:09:19,187 --> 00:09:20,988
ask her how those skittles
treated her.
250
00:09:21,022 --> 00:09:22,990
Why are you giving women candy?
251
00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:25,785
'Cause they so sweet.
252
00:09:25,971 --> 00:09:26,927
Go to your room.
253
00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:29,596
A'ight, papa. A'ight.
254
00:09:30,759 --> 00:09:31,977
[Door opens, closes]
[Speaks Chinese]
255
00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:33,619
_
256
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,440
_
257
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:37,371
Hmm.
258
00:09:37,405 --> 00:09:39,146
[Woman screaming]
259
00:09:42,603 --> 00:09:44,859
I don't know
what this wife's problem is.
260
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:47,547
If my husband had a big house
like Jack Nicholson,
261
00:09:47,581 --> 00:09:50,496
he could put an axe
in any door he wants to.
262
00:09:50,516 --> 00:09:51,429
Why?
263
00:09:51,449 --> 00:09:54,339
Because we have
500 other doors and a maze.
264
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:55,926
[Laughs] Mm-hmm.
265
00:09:56,436 --> 00:09:59,673
Oh, I can't believe you are
actually eating my food.
266
00:09:59,693 --> 00:10:01,360
This is delicious.
267
00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:03,729
You know who's
gonna love this? Nicole.
268
00:10:03,763 --> 00:10:06,098
Oh, that's Marvin's daughter.
She's my stepdaughter.
269
00:10:06,132 --> 00:10:07,399
Oh, that's nice.
270
00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:09,568
She's not even your real
daughter, and you love her.
271
00:10:09,602 --> 00:10:11,804
[Banging on door] Oh. Oh, my God.
[Laughs]
272
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:13,550
That scared me.
273
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:15,908
Hello.
274
00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:18,010
May I speak to my wife?
275
00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:19,711
Look, Louis,
276
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:22,514
I know you don't like me
watching Stephen King movies,
277
00:10:22,549 --> 00:10:23,914
- but this was on...
- No, it's not that.
278
00:10:23,934 --> 00:10:24,933
It's Honey.
279
00:10:24,953 --> 00:10:26,848
All the neighborhood women
hate her.
280
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:29,201
Well, that's not true!
Who tell you that?
281
00:10:29,221 --> 00:10:30,421
Evan.
282
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:32,457
It's true.
283
00:10:32,491 --> 00:10:34,525
They hate her because
she ruined Sarah's life.
284
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:35,460
Who's Sarah?
285
00:10:35,494 --> 00:10:37,228
Marvin's first wife.
286
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,396
Honey split them up.
287
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,430
Well, how do you know this?
288
00:10:39,465 --> 00:10:41,065
The party-planning meeting.
289
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,034
Evan: "Sarah came home early
one day
290
00:10:43,068 --> 00:10:44,702
and found them
on the kitchen floor."
291
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:46,804
"The floor that Sarah
just cleaned."
292
00:10:46,838 --> 00:10:48,239
"No!"
293
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,907
"Yes, girl." "Yes."
294
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,745
Then Carol-Joan gave us
a preview of the karaoke number.
295
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,746
Not great.
296
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,416
All right, so they hate her.
So what?
297
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,019
She is the first person I have
met here who I actually like.
298
00:11:02,054 --> 00:11:03,554
Well, if they find out
that you're friends with honey,
299
00:11:03,588 --> 00:11:05,890
they could turn against you
and the restaurant.
300
00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:08,492
They boycotted
Rebecca Miller's nail salon
301
00:11:08,527 --> 00:11:12,062
because she copied Mary Jo's
Jennifer Aniston haircut.
302
00:11:12,097 --> 00:11:14,064
You know, the Rachel.
303
00:11:14,099 --> 00:11:17,348
Oh, my sweet boy,
that's a lot of names.
304
00:11:17,368 --> 00:11:19,169
Look, Jessica,
305
00:11:19,203 --> 00:11:21,571
you know more than anyone
how much we're struggling.
306
00:11:21,606 --> 00:11:22,973
We can't afford to give people
307
00:11:23,007 --> 00:11:25,472
any reason
to avoid our business.
308
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,744
Okay. [Sighs]
309
00:11:27,778 --> 00:11:29,079
You are right.
310
00:11:29,113 --> 00:11:31,581
It is not worth risking
the future of the restaurant
311
00:11:31,615 --> 00:11:32,982
for somebody
who I have just met.
312
00:11:33,017 --> 00:11:34,150
Exactly.
313
00:11:34,185 --> 00:11:36,286
Pick any other woman
to be friends with.
314
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,721
Swing a cat, hit a white woman,
be friends with her.
315
00:11:38,756 --> 00:11:40,590
Because our number-one priority
316
00:11:40,624 --> 00:11:42,992
should be the restaurant
succeeding, and...
317
00:11:43,027 --> 00:11:44,961
[screaming] Aah!
318
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,498
Oh, you know, I thought
I saw a ghost in the window,
319
00:11:48,532 --> 00:11:50,867
but there was not a ghost.
320
00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:52,802
I am fine.
321
00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:54,817
And no more Stephen King movies!
322
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,823
You know, like our
favorite sport, Nascar,
323
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:08,193
why not speed over
to Cattleman's Ranch
324
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,295
for great tastes
at an affordable price?
325
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,430
I-I'm just kidding.
Drive the speed limit.
326
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,232
But still, come. [Chuckles]
327
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,434
All right, when I say rib eye,
you say steak!
328
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,435
Rib eye!
329
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,904
Woman: Steak!
330
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,220
All right, we're having fun!
331
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,007
Evan: Welcome!
332
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,809
Food goes on the picnic table,
333
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:28,045
which is over there where the
petting zoo should have been.
334
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,542
Louis: Why aren't you
handing out coupons?
335
00:12:36,562 --> 00:12:38,236
Who you looking for?
336
00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:39,189
Honey.
337
00:12:39,224 --> 00:12:40,624
I mean, a honey.
338
00:12:40,658 --> 00:12:41,959
A honey woman.
339
00:12:41,993 --> 00:12:43,836
Hand out the coupons, man.
340
00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:46,063
Emery: Hey.
341
00:12:46,097 --> 00:12:47,664
This is Simone and Bianca.
342
00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,233
Hey. Hi.
343
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:50,601
You have two dates?
344
00:12:50,635 --> 00:12:52,502
Oh, it's cool.
We're supportive of each other.
345
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:55,438
You'd think there'd be an issue,
but there's not.
346
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,049
Need any help with that?
347
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,551
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!
348
00:13:08,586 --> 00:13:11,387
Nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope. Nope, nope.
349
00:13:11,422 --> 00:13:13,957
Hey! I just finished getting
the house ready for Nicole.
350
00:13:13,991 --> 00:13:15,358
It's our weekend with her.
[Chuckles]
351
00:13:15,392 --> 00:13:17,160
Was Louis mad about
the Stephen King...
352
00:13:17,194 --> 00:13:21,597
You know, I have to go.
A wasp flew into my mouth.
353
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,914
Oh, hey, Trent.
354
00:13:28,163 --> 00:13:29,891
Check this out.
355
00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,377
Yo. Coupon for one free hug?
356
00:13:35,412 --> 00:13:38,086
Sorry. [Chuckles]
I'm all lotion-y.
357
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:40,216
You know, I'm all about that.
358
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:40,883
Trent: Dissed!
359
00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:43,485
Maybe you could borrow some
of her lotion for that burn.
360
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,862
[Sighs]
361
00:13:48,191 --> 00:13:50,759
She's cutting equally sized
pieces because of communism.
362
00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:53,394
- Oh.
- Isn't that right, Jessica?
363
00:13:53,414 --> 00:13:55,209
Because of the communism
in your country?
364
00:13:55,229 --> 00:13:57,336
Or I'm just cutting cake.
365
00:13:57,356 --> 00:14:00,417
[Laughter] Anyway, we
have some exciting news.
366
00:14:00,437 --> 00:14:02,885
We want you to sing
the karaoke number with us.
367
00:14:02,905 --> 00:14:03,772
You do?
368
00:14:03,806 --> 00:14:04,739
All: Mm-hmm!
369
00:14:04,774 --> 00:14:06,174
Samantha's out. Her mother died.
370
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,609
Here. Lyrics for you.
371
00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:11,813
Can I interest you
in some Cattleman's Ranch ribs?
372
00:14:11,847 --> 00:14:14,115
- Ooh!
- You know, Tuesday is ladies night.
373
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,216
We have our special...
374
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:18,400
Melrose plates... of steak.
375
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:19,968
[Laughter]
376
00:14:19,988 --> 00:14:21,622
Here you go. Thank you.
377
00:14:21,656 --> 00:14:24,859
See? This was the right move.
[Laughs] It's good.
378
00:14:27,793 --> 00:14:29,310
You know, I bet you
it'd be real easy
379
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,032
to sabotage one of those cars.
380
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,034
Yeah. Add the hip.
381
00:14:35,263 --> 00:14:37,208
Ooh! Are you guys doing
a song together?
382
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:39,353
- We were going to...
- Yes, we are.
383
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:40,474
We'd invite you to join,
384
00:14:40,508 --> 00:14:42,075
but it's more
of a five-person number.
385
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,176
You understand.
386
00:14:43,211 --> 00:14:44,978
Wow. [Chuckles]
387
00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:47,414
Way to make a girl feel like
Carrie at the prom, huh?
388
00:14:47,448 --> 00:14:48,415
[Chuckles softly]
389
00:14:48,449 --> 00:14:50,378
I don't get it. Do you get it?
390
00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,842
No, I don't get it.
391
00:14:58,547 --> 00:14:59,990
[Honey chuckles]
392
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:04,092
I heard she gave Burt Reynolds
a tug and tumble
393
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,835
when they were down here
filming "Cop and a Half."
394
00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:09,902
Care to dance?
395
00:15:09,937 --> 00:15:10,970
[Chuckles]
396
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,572
You know, I'm not really
feeling up to it.
397
00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:14,488
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
398
00:15:20,247 --> 00:15:21,247
[Chuckles]
399
00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:22,448
Perfect.
400
00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:23,582
I guess everyone thinks
401
00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:25,851
I deserve to be treated
like some...
402
00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:28,059
home-wrecking stripper.
403
00:15:28,422 --> 00:15:29,522
[Laughter]
404
00:15:30,049 --> 00:15:32,386
Emery: Trouble with the ladies?
405
00:15:34,152 --> 00:15:36,385
Dude, why is this so hard?
406
00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:38,745
'Cause real life
isn't a rap video, Eddie.
407
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:41,964
Boys, don't just talk
to each other. Network.
408
00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,436
Hey, I like
what you're doing here,
409
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,038
but don't let your mom see.
410
00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:48,974
Look, Eddie, love is tricky.
411
00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:50,676
Who said anything about love?
412
00:15:51,209 --> 00:15:52,658
I'm talking about women.
413
00:15:52,678 --> 00:15:55,156
You're just saying that
'cause you never been in love.
414
00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,148
Me? I love love.
415
00:15:57,182 --> 00:16:00,165
It's like everything goes
in slow motion
416
00:16:00,185 --> 00:16:01,852
and you feel this pain
in your heart.
417
00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:04,855
It's a good pain...
the pain of cupid's arrow.
418
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,324
Do you know what woman loves us?
419
00:16:06,358 --> 00:16:07,591
Mom.
420
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:09,660
Love is for moms.
421
00:16:09,695 --> 00:16:11,656
[Chuckles] You guys are funny.
422
00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:14,598
I know I should wait
30 minutes after I eat
423
00:16:14,633 --> 00:16:15,666
before I go in the pool,
424
00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:18,204
but hey,
then I'd never go in the pool.
425
00:16:18,224 --> 00:16:19,170
Deidre: Hey, everyone!
426
00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:20,471
Thanks for coming out.
427
00:16:20,505 --> 00:16:22,979
As you know, every year,
the girls and I
428
00:16:22,999 --> 00:16:25,143
like to do a little
karaoke number for y'all
429
00:16:25,163 --> 00:16:27,476
when there's a lull
in the racing action.
430
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,439
_
431
00:16:30,459 --> 00:16:31,681
And this year,
432
00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:36,619
we have chosen a song
by a group called En Vogue.
433
00:16:36,654 --> 00:16:39,722
No, it was not a unanimous decision,
but I hope the person among us...
434
00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:41,124
She's eating my food.
435
00:16:41,158 --> 00:16:42,959
Realizes their mistake,
because pride is such a...
436
00:16:42,993 --> 00:16:45,361
- Uh... Oh.
- I have something to say.
437
00:16:45,396 --> 00:16:49,098
In Chinese culture, this is
a welcome speech, or jianghua�.
438
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,896
Shut up, Deidre.
439
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:55,505
I would like to dedicate
this song to my friend,
440
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:57,935
Honey.
441
00:16:58,108 --> 00:16:59,509
[Brakes squealing]
442
00:16:59,543 --> 00:17:02,245
Our friendship might be off
to a rocky start,
443
00:17:02,279 --> 00:17:05,014
but just like
the haunted '58 Plymouth
444
00:17:05,048 --> 00:17:07,837
in the classic
Stephen King novel "Christine,"
445
00:17:07,857 --> 00:17:09,619
you can't kill it.
446
00:17:11,456 --> 00:17:15,659
If I
447
00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:19,626
should stay
448
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:25,871
I would only be in
449
00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:30,609
Your wa-a-a-y
450
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:34,695
So I'll go
451
00:17:34,715 --> 00:17:37,282
But I know
Your wife has a beautiful voice.
452
00:17:37,302 --> 00:17:38,861
Is she a professional?
453
00:17:38,881 --> 00:17:43,394
Uh, no, but she sometimes
sings at our restaurant.
454
00:17:43,414 --> 00:17:47,418
Uh, the address is on the back.
455
00:17:50,079 --> 00:17:54,219
And I-I-I-I-I
456
00:17:55,437 --> 00:17:59,683
Will always
love yo-o-o-o-o-u
457
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:06,394
I will always
love yo-o-o-o-u
458
00:18:06,414 --> 00:18:09,336
I didn't know
asians liked karaoke.
459
00:18:10,545 --> 00:18:12,113
That's my wife. [Chuckles]
460
00:18:12,147 --> 00:18:14,126
the voice of an angel. [Chuckles]
461
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:16,071
She's performing
at Cattleman's Ranch.
462
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,485
Oh, oh
463
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:20,988
And I...
this is not a duet.
464
00:18:21,022 --> 00:18:22,636
Okay, yeah.
465
00:18:22,656 --> 00:18:26,293
Will always love yo-o-o-o-u
466
00:18:26,328 --> 00:18:27,595
I...
467
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:35,215
So, which kid is it?
468
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:36,569
What?
469
00:18:36,603 --> 00:18:38,978
Which kid do you want
to see us together?
470
00:18:40,149 --> 00:18:42,608
This isn't my first rodeo.
471
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,577
[Boys talking indistinctly]
472
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,280
Ah.
473
00:18:47,314 --> 00:18:48,681
So, what do you need?
474
00:18:48,715 --> 00:18:50,823
Cheek kiss, hand hold?
475
00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:53,686
Sensual hug?
476
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,455
Full body, three seconds,
chest to chest?
477
00:18:58,072 --> 00:18:59,271
[Chuckles] You got it.
478
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:01,198
You'd do that for me?
479
00:19:01,218 --> 00:19:03,126
Your mom's a friend of mine.
480
00:19:03,146 --> 00:19:04,750
Come on.
481
00:19:06,165 --> 00:19:08,066
Okay.
482
00:19:08,101 --> 00:19:09,898
Are they watching?
483
00:19:13,139 --> 00:19:14,439
Mm!
484
00:19:15,808 --> 00:19:18,677
So you wanna be a gangsta
485
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:23,248
Butt grab.
486
00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:24,683
Oh! Okay. All right.
487
00:19:24,717 --> 00:19:26,518
And we got it. Okay.
488
00:19:29,222 --> 00:19:30,589
["Shimmy shimmy ya" plays]
489
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:32,791
Eddie: I'd never been happier
than at that moment,
490
00:19:32,825 --> 00:19:35,494
which is why I didn't see
what happened next coming.
491
00:19:35,528 --> 00:19:37,963
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
492
00:19:37,997 --> 00:19:40,565
Yeah, baby, I like it raw
493
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,101
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
494
00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:46,304
Yeah, baby, I like it raw
495
00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:48,540
Shimmy, shimmy, ya
shimmy yam, shimmy yay
496
00:19:48,574 --> 00:19:50,875
Gimme the Mike
so I can take it away
497
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,545
Off on a natural charge,
bon voyage
498
00:19:53,579 --> 00:19:56,247
Yeah, from the home of
the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad
499
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,583
Wu-tang killer bees
on the swarm
500
00:19:58,617 --> 00:20:01,533
Rain on ya college
disco dorm
501
00:20:01,553 --> 00:20:03,520
For you to even
touch my skill
502
00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:06,523
You gotta put the one killer
bee, and he ain't gonna kill
503
00:20:06,558 --> 00:20:09,293
Now chop that down,
pass it all around
504
00:20:09,327 --> 00:20:11,728
Lyrics get hard,
quick cement to the ground
505
00:20:11,763 --> 00:20:13,831
For any emcee
in any 52 states
506
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:15,835
I gets psycho
507
00:20:17,602 --> 00:20:18,936
[Gasps] Hi, Nicole!
508
00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:21,038
Hey, slut. Hi, daddy.
509
00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:22,406
Marvin: Hi, sweetheart!
510
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,907
In that instant,
511
00:20:23,942 --> 00:20:25,776
I knew what my brother Emery
had been talking about...
512
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:28,645
the pain of cupid's arrow.
513
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,714
- Watch out!
- Aah.
514
00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:32,149
Or a lawn dart.
515
00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,417
It slipped.
516
00:20:33,451 --> 00:20:34,885
Jessica: Eddie!
517
00:20:34,919 --> 00:20:36,787
Eddie, what did you do?!
518
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:37,954
Eddie: Me?!
519
00:20:37,989 --> 00:20:40,123
I have a dart in my back.
520
00:20:40,158 --> 00:20:41,391
Somebody call an ambulance!
521
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:44,928
There's a hospital
right near Cattleman's Ranch!
522
00:20:44,962 --> 00:20:46,210
[Sighs]
523
00:20:48,112 --> 00:20:50,612
The block party turned out to be
a great thing for our family.
524
00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:53,397
My dad was happy that we raised
interest in the restaurant...
525
00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:55,909
- You were awesome today.
- Oh, thank you.
526
00:20:55,929 --> 00:20:58,414
And you were...
527
00:20:58,434 --> 00:21:01,000
also there.
[Chuckles]
528
00:21:02,891 --> 00:21:05,564
My mom made
her first friend in Orlando...
529
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:14,863
And even though I was
almost killed by a lawn dart,
530
00:21:14,883 --> 00:21:17,685
I was happy 'cause I met her.
531
00:21:19,973 --> 00:21:23,642
Yo, I was mad in love.
532
00:21:24,562 --> 00:21:27,285
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
533
00:21:27,335 --> 00:21:31,885
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37707
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