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1
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,000
During football season of Tattaglia
2
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:09,200
there was nothing more
important than Homecoming Week.
3
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,200
Homecoming Dance?
4
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,400
What are you looking
at that for?
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,600
Just want to know
the date of the dance
6
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:16,000
so I can start acting like
I'm sick three days before.
7
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,000
It's a great excuse--
I'd use it,
8
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,100
but nobody cares whether
I'm there or not.
9
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,100
Why don't you
just go stag?
10
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,600
End up dancing
by myself?
11
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:23,800
I could do
th at home.
12
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,600
Would you go dance with
yourself someplace else?!
13
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:36,600
Chris...
14
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,500
I'd like you
to meet Jenise.
15
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,000
Hi. I just transferred in.
16
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,100
Jenise doesn't have
a date for the dance,
17
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,900
and since all the other
black men are taken...
18
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,100
By white women.
19
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,200
I thought you two
might go together.
20
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,200
Well, anyway,
21
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,500
I'll let Chris
lay his rap on you.
22
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:52,500
Peace.
23
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,600
I'm Audi 5000.
24
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,400
So, do you want to go?
25
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:59,300
Sure. I juston't want you
to feel like you have to go 'cause she set you up.
26
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,300
No, it's cool.
27
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,400
All you have to do is come by
so my parents can meet you.
28
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:04,500
If they like you, we can go.
29
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:05,500
That's cool.
30
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,700
That will go great,because we all know--
everybody loves me.
31
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,600
So, I'll see you later.
32
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,200
Dude, you're going
to the Homecoming Dance?
33
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,700
I guess so.
34
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,300
Great. My life sucks,
and what do you do?
35
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,800
You make it suck worse.
36
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,900
What, do you want me to stay at home
and have a sucky night, too, so you can feel better?
37
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,100
Yeah. That's what
friends are for!
38
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,600
With friends like that,
who needs enemies?
39
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,900
Everybody Hates Chris Season 4 Episode 3
40
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,000
www.1000fr.com presents
41
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,400
Capture:FRM@·ëε
Sync:FRS@·ëε
42
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,600
Since i was going to the dance with Jeni,
43
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,000
I needed to cancel
a date with Doc's.
44
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,100
Drew, I need you to work my
shift Saturday night at Doc's.
45
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,000
He's already
taking your place working after school.
46
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,900
You need him to work
on weekends, too?
47
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,600
Oh, it's okay, Mom.
I could use the money.
48
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,100
Well, what do you have
to do anyway?
49
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,600
I have a date
to the Homecing Dance.
50
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,700
A date? What's wrong with her?
51
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,400
Nothing. Her name's Jenise,
and she lives in Park Slope.
52
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,500
Park Slope?
53
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:25,900
That's expensive.
54
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,500
And she goes to your school?
55
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,200
I told you there was
something wrong with her.
56
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,400
She's retarded.
57
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,100
Your brother's date
is not retarded.
58
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,500
Well, she could be,
but there's different levels.
59
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,600
She could be a moron,
60
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,500
an imbecile,
an idiot or a cretin.
61
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,700
Morons have the highest IQ
of the mentally retarded,
62
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,800
so if something's
wrong with her,
63
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:42,100
you may not notice at first.
64
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,500
Like the first time
you watch Bill O'Reilly.
65
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,600
Why is it so hard
to believe I have a date
66
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,600
with a perfectly nice,
normal girl?
67
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,100
Hello? Hello?
68
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,700
Oh... oh, stop.
69
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:23,700
You finished?
70
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,600
Yeah, yeah.
But you have to admit,
71
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,000
that was pretty funny.
72
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,800
Oh, Drew
and Tonya,
73
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,500
y'all go get ready for bed.
74
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,400
Anyway, all she said was that
75
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,100
I had to meet her parents,
76
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,800
and if they say it's okay,
then we can go.
77
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000
What? Wait a minute, now.
78
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,800
Who are they to be
checking out my son?
79
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,900
I should be checking out
their daughter.
80
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,800
Who knows what kind of floozy
she might be?
81
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,600
I'd like to find out.
82
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,800
Since you're going
for an inspection,
83
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:50,800
make sure you make
a good impression.
84
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:51,900
If I could do impressions,
85
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000
I'd still be
on Saturday Night Live.
86
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,600
Meanwhile,
I wasn't the only one
87
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,400
trying to impress a new girl.
88
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,200
That's good! I didn't know
you could sing like that.
89
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,600
Hey, Tonya.
90
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,300
Hey, Youngblood.
Where y'all going?
91
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,700
Oh, he's walking me home.
92
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,200
Check you out.
93
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,400
I heard you... singing.
94
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:19,800
Now you're walking
people home?
95
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,900
You're like a one-man
walking show.
96
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,900
All chivalrous.
97
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:25,800
You're like
Maurice Chevalier.
98
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,700
James was a rare combinationof French film buff and bug.
99
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,300
Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.
100
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,500
Come on, man.
Where you going?
101
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,100
Don't leave. Let's sing.
102
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,700
You be Ralph Tresvant.
I'll be Bobby Brown.
103
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,600
Come on.
104
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,200
How come no oneever wants to be Ronnie DeVoe?
105
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:42,400
What'd you do that for?
106
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:43,600
I liked you before he did.
107
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,800
How come I can't
walk you home?
108
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,800
Because I'm going by myself.
109
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,900
Meanwhile, Greg had gonefrom bad to worse,
like America under Bush.
110
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:54,300
Greg, where you going?
111
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,500
I'm out of here.
I just don't fit in anymore.
112
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,000
I can't come back to this.
113
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,900
At the Bronx Academy,
I was somebody.
114
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000
Yeah, you were the guy
who got kicked out.
115
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,100
I wouldn't expect you
to understand.
116
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,200
You're manager
of the football team.
117
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,600
You got a date
to the Homecoming Dance.
118
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:08,100
I'm just another reject.
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
119
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,200
Join the army; they
don't reject anybody.
120
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,400
Rejected.
121
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:15,600
Sorry.
122
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,900
While Greg looked
for acceptance,
123
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,600
Doc looked for business.
124
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,900
Is all this stuff
past the expiration date?
125
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,400
Yeah. I remember back
when I couldn't keep a shelf stocked.
126
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,500
I can't figure out
why people don't come in here no more.
127
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,100
Because you don't sell crack.
128
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,900
Could be because there's
a negative flow ofnergy.
129
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,600
Or because you
don't sell crack.
130
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:39,900
What you talking about?
131
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,900
Feng shui
it's the Chinese practice of achieving harmony in one's environment
132
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,100
through the placement
of objects.
133
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,300
I think feng shui
is the reason Mr. Fong's restaurant is always so packed.
134
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,900
And because Mr. Fong
sells crack.
135
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,500
Feng shui, huh?
136
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,400
I thought I was gonna
have to sell crack.
137
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,600
Eh, what the hay.
138
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:58,800
Do your thing.
139
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,000
While Drew was setting up
to get some customers,
140
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,300
I was setting up
to meet the parents.
141
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,600
Wow, look at you.
142
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,600
Looking like that, my
parents might think I'm not good enough for you.
143
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,000
I just don't want
anything to go wrong.
144
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,000
Then send someone else
in your place.
145
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,200
Everything'll be fine.
146
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,400
I'll meet you at my
house after school. Cool.
147
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:24,400
What's your problem!
Oops. Sorry.
148
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,200
I forgot to say,
"Here, catch."
149
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,500
Well, at least it's chocolate.
It'll blend in.
150
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,000
I hope her family
likes chocolate.
151
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,000
What is all of this ringing
of the bells
152
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,300
while I am eating
the sweet potato pop?
153
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,100
Son, the homeless shelter's
around the corner.
154
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,100
No, I'm not homeless.
I'm Chris.
155
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,700
I'm taking Jenise
to the Homecoming Dance this week at Tattagl.
156
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,000
In that?
157
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,100
Jenise Huckstable!
158
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,700
Downstairs! Now!
159
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,500
Come in, son.
160
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,500
Oh, no!
Chris, what happened?
161
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,600
After we met
in the hallway,
162
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,800
this kid hit me with
a bowl of pudding.
163
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,400
Here, come sit down.
164
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,600
No, no, no,
don't sit down.
165
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,600
Just in case
that's not pudding.
166
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,400
Clint Huckstable,
what is wrong with you?
167
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,000
Oh, my Lord.
168
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,900
A motherless child.
169
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,800
He's not a motherless
child.
170
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,600
That's Chris.
We met at school.
171
00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,100
I got hit with a bowl
of pudding.
172
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,500
Blair, the boy
has been abused.
173
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,000
Well, I can take
your case.
174
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,400
I'm a lawyer, you know.
175
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,300
I am very accomplished.
176
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:11,100
Yes, and I would like
to accomplish something with you later on,
177
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,400
if you know
what I mean.
178
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,900
Stop it, Clint.
179
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,700
So, Chris, where
are you from?
180
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,700
Bed-Stuy.
181
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,400
Now, I heard about that place.
182
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,700
I sent a boy to jail from there.
183
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,000
He was selling something called crack.
184
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,300
All the babies from there
are on it.
185
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,100
Are you a crack baby?
186
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:32,900
No, sir.
187
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,400
Now, Chris, do you have a family?
188
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,900
Yeah, a mother, father,
sister, brother.
189
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,500
Are they crack people?
190
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:43,700
No, sir.
191
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,000
What kind of law
does your mother practice?
192
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,700
She works in the beauty salon.
193
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,400
And what does
your father do?
194
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,600
Oh, he has two jobs.
195
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,700
Oh, so he's a doctor and a lawyer.
196
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,200
No, he drives a truck
197
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,800
and does security part-time.
198
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,200
I see.
199
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,600
Well, Chris,
200
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,600
much like your people
from Bed-Stuy,
201
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,300
our daughter here is a screwup.
202
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:17,300
Yeah, and instead of wasting money
on a good private school,
203
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:22,500
we decided to teach her a lesson and send her
to the Tattaglia public school.
204
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,000
And then she decided
to teach us a lesson
205
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,600
by bringing you home.
206
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:34,600
But we are not going
to penalize you for her stupidity.
207
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:43,100
Chris, we have decided
to let you take our daughter Jenise
208
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,200
to the Homecoming Dance.
209
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,200
Thank you, sir.
210
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000
You're welcome.
211
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:56,300
And we have this lovely
sweater here
212
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,300
so you have something
decent to wear.
213
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,700
Also...
214
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:06,100
this delicious box of sweet potato pops.
215
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,500
While I was working
on the Huckstables,
216
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,000
James was working
on Tonya's nerves.
217
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,700
Where's Jason? He was supposed
to meet me, not you.
218
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,500
You mean Maurice? I don't know.
219
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,500
But I know this much:
220
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,800
If I was supposed to walk you
to school,
221
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,600
when you came out, I'd be there
222
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,700
even if somebody threatened me
with a tire iron.
223
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,800
She wishes she had a tire iron.
224
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,100
But I'll walk you, you know,
since he's not here.
225
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,900
I don't want you to walk me
to school.
226
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:32,700
Leave me alone.
227
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,100
That's how girls turned down
R. Kelly.
228
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,500
While Tonya wanted to be alone,
229
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,000
Doc had plenty of company.
230
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,000
(§Ý§Ý)
231
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:46,800
Wow, this feng shui thing
is something else.
232
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,500
Business hasn't
been this good
233
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,100
since they robbed
the food stamp truck.
234
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:52,800
What's this?
235
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,000
This is a money tree.
236
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,300
It'll bring you
good fortune.
237
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,100
Looks like
it's working.
238
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,500
(speaks mangled Chinese)
239
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:02,600
Can I help you?
240
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,400
That's English for
"I don't speak Chinese."
241
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,200
Doc's business was
at an all-time high,
242
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,700
and Greg was at
an all-time low.
243
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,800
Greg, get up.
244
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,500
I mean, I know getting kicked
out of the Bronx Academy sucked,
245
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:17,700
but things can work out.
246
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,800
Yeah, it's easy for you to say.
247
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,300
You're not the one
with the miserable life.
248
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,300
What show have you been on
for the last three years?
249
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,800
Maybe you just need
to get involved with something.
250
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:28,600
Like what?
251
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:29,800
Like a shower.
252
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:31,900
I got an idea.
253
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,300
Your school mascot,
a sleeping fish.
254
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,600
What about it?
255
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,000
Well, they need a new guy.
256
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:39,400
The other guy quit.
257
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:43,800
So, what, you think me running around the sidelines
at a football game wearing a giant fish suit's gonna help me?
258
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,400
Really?
That's what you think?
259
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,500
Well, everybody loves him.
260
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,800
And they've never lost game
with him on the sidelines.
261
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:53,700
I don't know.
262
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,700
Trust me.
263
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,700
Hey, Greg, you look great.
264
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,300
Hey, Chris, you're lying.
265
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:07,500
All right, Bassie, I want you
to get out there today,
266
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,800
you run around that field,
you get us a win. You understand?
267
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,500
Isn't that what
the players are for?
268
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,000
Move it or lose it,
towel boy.
269
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,300
Greg, come on.
270
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,000
No, I got to wait
for a car to take me.
271
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,300
I got this big suit.
272
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,200
Oh, well, good luck.
Catch you later.
273
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,600
While I was gonna catch Greg
later,
274
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,900
some other guys were gonna
catch Greg now.
275
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,700
While Greg was nowhere
to be found,
276
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,300
Doc couldn't find anything.
277
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,900
Drew, where did you put
the hot sauce?
278
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,900
What you mean,
it disrupted the chi?
279
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:45,300
Okay, then where's the chi?
280
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,600
Where the hot sauce used to be.
281
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:51,500
Well, I can't pour
a philosophical concept on my catfish, now can I?
282
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,900
Think. I'll call you back.
283
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000
Meanwhile,
history was made today
284
00:12:57,100 --> 00:13:01,000
when the Tattaglia Sleeping Fish
lost their homecoming game
285
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:06,700
to the Clemenza Fighting
Silencers by a score of 68 to 2.
286
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,500
We fought a good fight,
but we lost.
287
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,700
But ultimately, I have to blame the loss
on our mascot Bassie.
288
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,200
He was a no-show,
and we lost
289
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,400
Hope you're happy
about that, Bassie,
290
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,400
You happy now? You happy?
You see what you did.
291
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,900
Tomorrow night
at Madison Square Garden,
292
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,300
light heavyweight contenders...
293
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,700
Greg, what happened?
294
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,100
I got fishnapped.
295
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,800
You okay?
No, I'm not okay.
296
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:42,000
I spent the last three hours
in the back of a van with a giant fish suit on me
297
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,800
with guys trying
to force-feed me worms.
298
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,500
I hope that wasn't a metaphor.
299
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,300
Just calm down.
No, you calm down.
300
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,400
Go to your stupid homecoming
dance with your stupid date.
301
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,000
And stop trying to pretend
you understand me
302
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,800
'cause you don't,
okay, pop star?
303
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,100
The only thing
you can do for me
304
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,600
is to kiss my white....
305
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,700
Way to lose homecoming, tadpole.
306
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,500
I'm glad Caruso punched him,
307
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,600
because it would have ruined
our friendship
308
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,400
if I had had to do it myself.
309
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,000
By the time homecoming night
came around,
310
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,600
even though Greg
wouldn't talk to me,
311
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,800
I probably couldn't hear him
because my sweater was so loud.
312
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,200
That sweater looks stupid.
313
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,600
I would have a comeback,
but unfortunately I agree.
314
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,500
Bet you a dollar
she doesn't show up.
315
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,100
Tonya, she'll show up.
316
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,700
Chris, she doesn't show up,
just give us a call.
317
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,800
We'll come get you.
318
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,700
Nothing like a parent's love
to destroy your confidence.
319
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:33,300
Meanwhile, Drew learned
you can't teach an old Docnew tricks.
320
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,800
Doc, what happened?
321
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,200
I couldn't figure out why chinese people put hot sauce near the peanut butter
322
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,900
And your fortune
inside a cookie.
323
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,300
So I changed
everything back.
324
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,800
Money won't do me
any good if I go crazy
325
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,200
before I try to spend it.
326
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,100
So I said "Sayonara"
to feng shui.
327
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,700
Sayonara isn't Chinese.
It's Japanese.
328
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Hey, I just read this thing about this new Japanese food
call "sushi."
329
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,800
It's supposed to be
the next big thing in America.
330
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:57,800
Maybe we could
sell it here.
331
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:58,600
Sushi?
332
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,300
Yeah, it's like raw fish
wrapped in seaweed and rice.
333
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,100
That sounds as good as hamburger
made out of turkey.
334
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,400
Do I have to tell you
Doc went broke?
335
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,800
What the heck is that?
336
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,300
"Careless Whisper."
337
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,100
Oh, my God!
338
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,700
What the hell?
339
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,700
Turn it off. Sit down.
340
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,200
Didn't I tell you
to leave my daughter alone?
341
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,000
Look, I'm just trying
to show her I like her.
342
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,100
She gets it.
343
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,000
But you can't make somebody
like you back.
344
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,400
At least not without a lot
of fame and money.
345
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:52,500
Between me and you,
346
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,400
I ain't letting her go
without a fight.
347
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:58,300
Are you talking about a fight
for her or with me?
348
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,800
Just tell her when she gets tired of Jason, im available.
349
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:03,600
I'll do that.
350
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:04,700
No, he won't.
351
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:08,600
While Tonya had
an unwanted visitor at home,
352
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,400
I had an unwanted visitor
at homecoming.
353
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,000
Mom, what are you doing here?
354
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,600
Greg's aunt called.
He never came home last night.
355
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,300
Do you have any idea
where he might be?
356
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:17,900
I don't know.
357
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,800
You realize that if you don't
take me to the dance,
358
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,900
you'll never have
a chance of going out with me again.
359
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:22,600
I know.
360
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:23,900
You know or you don't know?
361
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,300
Huh?
362
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,200
chris if you don't come and find me right away
363
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,500
you know this
can end badly for me.
364
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,000
I know.
365
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,300
Well, then come on.
What?
366
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,500
Let's go get Greg.
367
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,900
You say you know where he is,
right?
368
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:32,600
Yeah.
369
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,800
You better hurry, man.
370
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,200
Why don't you
leave him alone?
371
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,100
You know he wants to go
to the dance with me.
372
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:37,800
I really do.
373
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:38,300
Well, then come on.
374
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,600
He doesn't care about you.
He just met you.
375
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,400
He's known me
for years.
376
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,100
I can't leave Greg hanging.
Ha!
377
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,100
Let's go, boy!
378
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,400
You're standing me up?
379
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,600
I have to
What?
380
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,400
I'm on the edge, man!
Stop yelling at me!
381
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,000
Look, I don't care who's missing.
382
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,600
You holler at me
like that one more time,
383
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,300
you gonna come up missing.
384
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,800
I'm sorry.
You should be.
385
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,600
You better be.
Now come on.
386
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,900
Man, that scene put
the "azy" in crazy.
387
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,500
How'd you know where to find me?
388
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,000
Your best friend,
389
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,600
plus the Bronx Academy
was the last place you were
390
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,000
before everything went wrong.
391
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,000
Well, now you found me,
392
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,400
just leave me and let me rot.
393
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,200
Greg, I'm getting tired
of your complaining.
394
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,500
I've been getting knocked down
for years
395
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,900
and you don't see me whining.
396
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,900
I just get up
and dust myself off.
397
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,800
Of course you do--
you're black.
398
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,100
You overcame slavery,
lynchings and racism.
399
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,700
You know how to deal
with suffering.
400
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,800
I'm a white guy;
I'm supposed to have it easy.
401
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,900
Greg, right now, I'm standing up
at the most perfect girl in the world.
402
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,600
Her family is amazing.
403
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,800
They clapped when I entered.
404
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,500
They laughed at everything
I said.
405
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:53,700
They gave me sweet potato pops.
406
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,100
They even gave me this sweater.
407
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,000
This sweater cost
more than our car.
408
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,100
Her parents are
a lawyer and a doctor.
409
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,800
Last time I saw a lawyer
and a doctor together
410
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:03,800
was when my uncle went to the hospital
for a routine checkup and came out dead.
411
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,100
So if you don't get
your harmonica-playing,
412
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,600
hole-in-the-sock-wearing,
413
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:10,200
woe-is-me, I-should-have-
everything-easy behind up,
414
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,400
I'm gonna smack
the crack out of you!
415
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,100
Oh, man, the dance.
416
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,800
You missed your date
with Jenise to come and find me?
417
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,000
Don't sweat it. You would
have done the same thing for me.
418
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,800
When the situation came up
years later, he didn't.
419
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,600
The next day, I went to deliver
the Huckstables an apology,
420
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,400
but they had come to get it
themselves.
421
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,600
What the...?
422
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,800
Aha! Now you know what it's like
to come into your home
423
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:39,300
and not believe what the eyes
are seeing
424
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,900
because your daughter is
boo-hooing, shedding the tears.
425
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,300
Who the hell are you?
426
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:48,100
I am Dr. Clint Huckstable.
427
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,000
And I am the father
of the daughter
428
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,800
shedding
all the tears
429
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,800
because the son
of the mother
430
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:59,100
from Bed-Stuy...
stood her up
431
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,400
at the Tattaglia-talia
public school homecoming dance.
432
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,300
How did you get
into my house?
433
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,500
The crack baby let me in.
434
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,900
I'm not a crack baby.
435
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,200
I'm really sorry.
436
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,400
We just left your house, but...
437
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,300
What kind of parent
would raise a boy
438
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,800
that would make my future
lawyer-daughter cry
439
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,300
with all the tears?
440
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200
Now hold on.
441
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,900
If you're such a good parent,
442
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:26,000
how come your retarded
daughter flunked out of private school
443
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:29,200
and had to go
to Tata-Tata-Tataglia
444
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,600
public school?
445
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,100
The point is...
446
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,700
You better say the right thing,
447
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,600
because I swear I will slap
the sweet potato pop out of you.
448
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,900
All I am saying is that
449
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,600
my little girl had her feelings hurt.
450
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,300
You did?
451
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,500
I had to even ask my father
if I could transfer permanently.
452
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:51,100
I thought you're funny,
cute, edgy, and cool.
453
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,300
You did?
Yes.
454
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,900
But now I hate you.
455
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,200
All it took was one phone call.
456
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,300
Now give me back
my sweater.
457
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,500
With pleasure.
458
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,700
Thank you, sporty.
459
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:07,700
Let's go.
460
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,000
Ma, aren't you gonna
say anything?
461
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,400
Well, you could
have called.
462
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,600
welcome to www.1000fr.com
463
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:28,200
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