All language subtitles for Everybody Hates Chris s02e19 Everybody Hates Gambling.eng

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In my neighborhood,
people didn't make a lot of money,

so in order to make ends meet,
people would gamble.

And you know what?

I bet you a dollar you can't
figure out which baby is yours.

All right.

I can't tell.

Just about everybody
played the lottery...

We won!

We won?!

I won.

Get your ass out of my house!

Even people who told other
people not to gamble, gambled.

Let me tell you this...

gambling is a sin!

With a capital...

People would gamble on anything.

I'll bet you a dollar you can't guess
how many cans of tuna I got in here.

- Twelve.
- Damn!

I bet you can't guess
how many apples I got in my hand.

- Five
- Damn!

The one thing everybody bet on
was sports.

What?

I'm about to make some money,
that's what.

I got vhe Bulls over the Bucks.

I didn't gamble,
but I knew a bad bet when I saw it.

The Bulls can't beat the Bucks.

I mean, yeah, they have Jordan

but Don Nelson can coach circles
around Kevin Loughery.

The Bucks over theulls?

You're crazy!

Wanna bet?

2x19 - Everybody Hates Gambling

Transcrtip: swsub.com
Synchro: Sixe

I wasn't malking a bet with doc,
but it paid off, anyway...

Well, ain't you the little oddmaker?

What are you talking about?

Here.

What's this for?

You called that game just right.

First I was down $50,

now I'm up by $300.

All I get is this?

When I said "bet",
I didn't meen "bet" bet.

I was just saying.

Oh, you keep on just saying,

and ll just keep on paying.

How'd you learn so much
about the game, anyway?

Well, since I can'play,
I watch.

I study the stats. It's fun.

Too bad they don't have
an all-star game for stats.

Now, what you think

about Jazz
against the Rockets?

Everybody thinks
that Houston's gonna win

because of the twin towers,

but that's only for rebounds
and stick backs.

The Jazz can run.

Back at home, between Drew ane Tonya,
all bets were off.

He's up over the defensive line,
and king me!

So it don't don't mean nothing.

And that's it!

Drew crushes Tonya again
and the crowd goes wild!

I win, you lose...

My brother was good
at everything except winning.

Why don't you shut up?

Why don't you make me shut up?

I bet you don't win again.

I bet you I do.

Bet you you don't.

All right then.
Bet what?

Whyle Drew and Tanya were
putting their bets down,

Vanessa was giving my mother
a heads up.

Did you hear about Doc?

No. What happened?

He won $300
on the basketball me last night.

Gambling?

I hate gambling.

My mother hated gambling

because my grandfather loved it.

He'd gamble on anything.

Fights...

Come on, blue.
Let's go.

Come on, blue.

He gambled on races.

He even bet on the weather.

I got ten dollars on sunny and 79.

Pay up buddy.

So you don't gamble at all?

No! Not at all.

What about Julius?

Julius won even bet you
his own name is Julius.

The only bet
my father would place was this...

I see your "20% off" coupon

and raise you
a "buy one get one free" coupon.

Too risk for my blood.

Fold.

I'll s your coupon
and raise you a boot.

I'm out.

Yeah, I tell you what,
I tell you what.

You loan me ten dollars,

I'll put little
somethin' somethin' down

on the Houston-Utah game
for both of tonight.

Nobody in this house
is putting a little down

on anything except the bills.

Told you.

After a few days
of picking winners for Doc,

it was starting to go to my head.

Good morning, Chris.

Why don't you take
a day off, sweetheart.

You bet.

Cool hat, man.

Oh, thanks. It's a Kangol.

Aren't those expensive?

Yeah, I made some extra money

when l gave Doc a couple of tips
the play-off games.

Are you crazy?

You've got give that back.

It's gambling money.

Do you know what happens
to gamblers?

Greg, I'm not gambling.

And Bobby Brown's drug free.

I just told him
who I thought would win.

Hello?
That's gambling.

Greg, calm down.

What's your problem anyway?

My mother.

Was your mother a gambler?

Yup.

She lost a bet
and had to marry my father.

Then she won another bet
and got to leave.

And then there's the bet she lost
that got Greg here in the first place.

Back at Doc's, he was more concerned
with the line on the game

than the line at the cash register.

But I think Dallas
is gonna take this one.

You're going with Dallas
over Portland?

You should be committed, old man.

You know what?
You all both need to be committed.

What you think, man?

Who's he sposed to be,
Jimmy the Greek?

No, that's Chrissy the Black.

He called me that even before
he knew I could pick games.

So, brother man,
what you know?

Well, I know that the Portland
defense is way too weak

in transition
to stop Aguirre and Blackman.

Plus, the Mavericks have
something to prove

so they're going to come out hard.

So I'm gonna have to go with Dallas.

And why should I listen to you?

Well, don't and lose your money.

You know I got a side bet
with somebody as dumb as you are.

No, we gonna see
who's gonna lose some money.

Win or lose,
I bet I'm in trouble

Well, well, well,
if it ain't Chrissy the Black.

I though was supposed
to be friends, young blood.

What are you talking about?

Doc had a little side bet
on the Dallas game.

I was the side bet.

And I know you wouldn't listen

'cause your name is Risky,
not Smarty.

- Wait, what happened?
- I lost, that's what happened.

If I had known you were giving
Doc his pitch,

I wouldn't even bet him.

For the first time I realized,

that while Doc was winning money,
somebody was losing.

What?
You're in on this?

He ain't on nothing.

I just give him
a little taste when I win.

If you're so on the money,
how about tonight's game?

Oh, that's a big game.

There's gonna be
a lot of money on the line.

Come on, man.

Help me out just
I can win my money back.

Alright, just don't tell anybody.

I won't tell anybody,
it's just between us.

Translation:
"I'm telling everybody. "

You ever notice how nervous you get
when a big black car is following you.

You're Chris, right?

- Who are you?
- Shecky the Bookie.

My friends call me
Shecky the Bookie.

And what do you want?

Word on the street is you're pretty good
at picking ball games.

Nah, I'm just lucky.

They build casinos
on your kind of luck.

Look, your friend Doc,

he needs to get unlucky.

And he needs to get unlucky tonight.

And if he doesn't,

I'm gonna see you tomorrow.

And you don't want
to see me tomorrow.

I didn't want to see you today.

Capiche?

I wonder if that's Italian
for "Did you just wet your pants?"

Dude, this is bad.

Tell me something I don't know.

The estimated weight of the
earth six sextillion tons.

Greg, that was a rhetorical question.

Sorry.

I told you this was going to happen.

Chris, there's only one way out.

And what's that?

We can disguise you as a Dominan.

You'll speak Spanish
and move to the Bronx.

We'll call you Salvador Armando
Guillermo Sanchez Garcia Morales.

You'll never see your family again,

but you won't have
to pick any more games.

Or I could just pick the wrong team

and everybody will think
I'm a loser again.

and then nobody
will ask me to pick anymore.

You could try that, too.

Baby, what are you doing?

Trying to beat Drew at checkers.

Shouldn't he be playing?

Because he bet me three dollars
that I couldn't beat him.

So I can't play him again
till I think I can win.

Baby, you know your mother
doesn't like gamblin

Checkers is just supposed
to be for fun.

It was fun.

But every time Drew wins,
he starts teasing me,

anI just want to beat him
until he cries!

So, you know, it could be fun again.

I see why Drew is beating you.

Why?

You've got to think before you move.

Strategize.

Strategize?

In checkers?

You're not playing checkers,
you're playing Drew.

It's like...
you've played him over a hundred times.

You know all his moves, right?

Yeah, he just wants
to be king all the time.

So what you do is you leave him
an easy way to get kinged,

but you're really leading him
into a trap to take all his checkers.

Just ask Paul McCartney's wife.

Thanks, Dad.

Can I borrow three dollars?

Borrow?

Okay, "have. "

My man.

How are you at baseball?

I don'know.
Well, come on, we're on a roll.

I didn know when that roll
would end,

but I imagined how it would end.

My man!

Who are you?

Wok? What happened to Doc?

Jail?

I'm not working for you.

Want to bet?

I either had to stop Doc from gambling
or Iearn how to skin chickens.

I was just about to me that call.

Lakers, right?

You know what? I've been thinking,
and I think you should go with Phoenix.

Phoenix? Over the Lakers?

They just lost two games.

Yeah, I know, but they're at Phoenix.

You know, it's a pride thing
they don't want to get swept.

You sure about that?

- Yep.
- Nope.

My man.

I'm his man today,

but tomorrow he's gonna beat me
like a bald-headed stepchild.

While I was trying
to get out of gambling,

my father was looking to get in.

What are you doing over here

Uh... listen.

Everybody in the neighborhood's
been winning on the games.

Are you sure
about the tips you've been getting?

Sure as fried fish is greasy.

Who's giving the tips, anyway?

I don't know, but he's good.

Doc hasn't lost a bet yet.

Can you put this on the game for me?

- Oh, okay.
- And don't tell Rochelle.

No, wait a minute.
I'm not comforble with that.

I can't lie to my friend.

You to her that perm looked good.

Look, I'm not asking you to lie.

I'm just saying... keep quiet.

She'll keep it quiet,
just like Paul Revere.

I'll tell her when I win.

All right, now, you better tell her,
or I'll have to.

Meanwhile,
back amy front door...

Can help you?

Yeah. I'm looking for Chrissy the Black.

- Chrissy the what?
- The Black.

- Chrissy the Black.
- Yeah.

- Who are you?
- Who are you?

You don't ask me who I am;
you're knocking on my door.

You got a point.

I'm Paulie the Bookie.
Paulie the what?

The Bookie. Shecky the Bookie

told me I can find
Chrissy the Black here.

Chrissy the Black?

- You mean Chris?
- Whatever.

- Who am I talking to?
- Rochelley the Mom.

Oh, the Mom.
I thought you were his old lady.

Who are you calling old?
I didn't mean it like that.

What business do you have with Chris?

There's a lot of action
on the Phoenix game tonight,

and your boy,
he's on a hot streak.

Shecky's got good action
coming on the over and under,

and I was hoping maybe
if I can a heads-up on the spread.

Look here, Shecky...

- It's Paulie.
- Paulie.

I don't know what you're talking about,

but I'm done talking about it.

Look, lady. It would be a lot easier
if I talk to Chrissy about this.

I'm about to close this door,
and I suggest that your hand

not be between it
and the wall when I do.

And as for Chris,
hope you find him before I do,

because his hot streak is about
to be over. Understand, Shecky?

It's Paulie.

Whatever.

While I was nervous
about tonight's game,

Tonya was nervous about today's game.

You got your money?
Yeah, you got yours?

- Yeah.
- Okay, let's play.

Hello, everybody, I'm Jim Lampley.

Today, we're in BeStuy
for the World Checkers Championship,

a showdown
between Tonya and Drew.

In the past, Drew has routinely
schooled Tonyat checkers,

but today,
Tonya is tremendously motivated,

because three dollars
are on the line.

The money's on the table.
Let's go to the action.

Tonya is the first tmove,

making the play for Drew's front pieces.

That looks like
it could have been a setup by Tonya.

Drew is gonna have to pay
for that move.

Oh, there's a tremendous move by Drew.

Here comes Tonya again

All you can say to that move is,
"King me. "

Tonya's on the defensive again.

That could be part of her plan...
and look at that!

A double jump.

Drew never saw it coming.

Drew is holding on,
but there's every chance today...

he's going to get beaten by a girl.

There's another amazing move by Tonya.

She's really got Drew on the ropes now.

One jump, two jumps...
what a move.

That's unbelievable.

Can Tonya come back now?

The impossible has happened.

Tonya jumps all of Drew's
remaing checkers

all at once.

Tonya has won the game.

I won! I won!

You lost. I won. You lost.

Now, give me my three dollars.

- You cheated.
- Did not.

- Did too.
- No.

What is going in here?

You two are screaming
like you don't have a mother.

A dispute has broken out and
under the rules of the championships,

Mom is here to settle it.

- Tonya cheated.
- No, I didn't.

I beat Drew in checkers,
and now owes me three dollars.

And you're gambling, too?!

You ain't gonna be happy
until somebody comes over here

and breaks every knuckle in this family.

So Tonya over Drew
in a checkers match to remember

right here at the Palace in Bed-Stuy.

I'm Jim Lampley. Good night.

I don't understand this.

Why everybody in this house
knows how much I hate gambling,

and yet everybody
in this house is gambling.

Can somebody explain this to me?

Can you guys explain?

What do you have to say
for yourself, sweetheart?

Drew was teasing me checkers,
so I bet him so he would stop.

Where did you get money
to place this bet?

Daddy.

Your daddy gave you money
to gamble.

Isn't that sweet?

Give it here.

I was doing it just
to help her build confidance.

You were building
your daughter's confidence

by turning her brother into a sucker.

That's good.

That's really good.

And Chrissy the Black?

You're just there calling games
like you're in Atlantic City, huh?

Is that what you want to do
if you grow up?

Notice she said "if. "

- But I wasn't gambling.
- You wasn't gambling.

Well, I don't know what they call it.

Mr. Spread on the Over-Under,

but you better get ready
to stop not gambling.

"You better get ready
to stop not gambling?"

The point is:
bo you better stop!

Well, I already put a stop to it.

I lied to Doc about who was
going to win tonight's game.

So you're gambling
and you're lying?

How long is it gonna be before
we have bodies under this house?

You lied about
who's gonna win tonight's game?

And what does that matter to you?

I placed a bet on that game.

You did?

When did you place a bet?

A little while ago.
I gave it to Vanessa

So you went
behind my back to my friend?!

She said she didn't want to do it.
I told her I'd tell you.

Really? When?

Now?

How much did you bet?

- Fifty.
- Fifty dollars?

What happened to putting
nothing down but on bills?

Can't double your money
on the light bill.

You're going to fix is.

And you're going to fix this now.

How's he going to fix it?

You can't change a bet
once you've placed it.

I don't care.

You're going to call Doc,
and you're going to tell him the truth.

And you know what?
I'm going to change your name

from Chrissy the Black
to Chrissy the Black and Blue.

It's amazing how fast bad news travels.

Hey, Doc, it's Chris.

What?!

Danny, Lakers over Phoenix
Pull your bet.

Julio, Lakers over Phoenix.
Pull your bet.

Harry, no bet.
Don't bet the Lakers.

Perrez, pull your bet.

Bobby...
Hey, man, pull your bet.

- Did you do it?
- Tell him to pull his bet.

Reverent, yes. Pull your bet.

Yeah. God bless you, too.

After all was said and done,
I had won some money,

lost some money, but there was
one thing I hadn't bet on...

Oh, man!

- Phoenix wins!
- Yeah, I won!

My man!

We won!

Yeah! I told you,
I put money on Phoenix.

Yes, we won!

Baby, thank you so much, Chris.

This is great.

Oh, she got the money,
got the money.

- Here's your money, Julius.
- Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

There's only $50.

I know. I know.
I didn't make the bet.

Just when I was about
to put your money down,

Chrissy the Black said don't do it...
Phoenix is going to lose.

If it wasn't for him,
we all would have made some money.

How was I supposed to know?

You're Chrissy the Black?

Yep, that's him.

You see? You got people
thinking they're gonna win,

when you know they're gonna lose

If you'd let them lose,
they probably could have won.

That's why I hate gambling!

'Cause you can't win for losing!

Here's the part where I lose.

Now get your butt upstairs!

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