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www.tvsubtitles.net
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When I was elected president
at Corleone,
3
00:00:04,128 --> 00:00:06,383
my scholl was way ahead of it's time.
4
00:00:06,594 --> 00:00:09,398
The rest of the country didn't get
a black President until Clinton.
5
00:00:09,778 --> 00:00:12,412
Like all Presidents,
I had made campaign promises
6
00:00:12,482 --> 00:00:14,192
that are gonna be hard to keep.
7
00:00:14,676 --> 00:00:17,536
I promise you,
no more rope climbing in gym
8
00:00:17,593 --> 00:00:20,579
unless your favorite sport
is climbing rope.
9
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:22,794
I promise,
10
00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:25,327
no more homework on saturday,
11
00:00:25,461 --> 00:00:28,081
unless you gotta be
in school on sunday.
12
00:00:28,726 --> 00:00:31,031
I promise all book reports
13
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,666
will be on books
that were made into movies.
14
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:36,608
I promiss you rubber floors,
15
00:00:36,649 --> 00:00:40,453
if that one* bully knocks you down,
you'll bounce right back up.
16
00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:43,978
We've got spring break,
we've got summer break,
17
00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:46,482
what about a fall break
and a winter break?
18
00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,716
I don't want to come to scholl
when it's hot.
19
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:51,393
so why would I have to come to scholl
when it's cold?
20
00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:56,960
To win my office, I told them
everything they wanted to hear.
21
00:00:57,037 --> 00:00:59,194
There was only one problem.
Hey, listen :
22
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,381
You promised you take us to an X-Game.
23
00:01:02,535 --> 00:01:04,211
You promise I get new locker.
24
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,561
You promise I get * (a raise ?)
25
00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:08,525
You promised I'll get a shave.
26
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:10,971
You promised we'll get some real *.
27
00:01:13,485 --> 00:01:15,045
What are you gonna do about it?
28
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,202
I had no idea what I was going to do.
29
00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:19,697
So I did what all great leaders do.
30
00:01:19,754 --> 00:01:22,518
I'll get right * on it.
I promise.
31
00:01:23,072 --> 00:01:25,662
2x07 Everybody Hates Promises
32
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,623
Capture:FRM@Donale
Presynchro:FRM@¹¾ßË
33
00:01:28,854 --> 00:01:31,243
Synchro : Sixe
34
00:01:54,562 --> 00:01:58,597
My new promise to keep my old promises
was seen as very unpromising.
35
00:01:59,045 --> 00:02:00,066
Hey, Greg!
36
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:02,454
"Hey, Greg"?
Did you see the school paper?
37
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,683
We have a school paper?
38
00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:07,325
Bush wasn't the first president
who didn't read the paper.
39
00:02:09,018 --> 00:02:10,366
What did I lie about?
40
00:02:10,606 --> 00:02:12,184
Apparently you lied
about everything.
41
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,742
The last true thing I said was,
42
00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,789
"My name is Chris
and I'm running for president."
43
00:02:15,847 --> 00:02:17,542
I didn't mean any of that stuff.
44
00:02:17,589 --> 00:02:19,683
Caruso stole my speech.
He's no better than me.
45
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:20,980
Yeah, but he didn't win.
46
00:02:21,243 --> 00:02:23,284
Now you're stuck with all
those campaign promises.
47
00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,983
All presidents lie to get elected.
48
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,320
What do they do?
49
00:02:26,377 --> 00:02:27,390
Distraction.
50
00:02:27,409 --> 00:02:29,899
They just force the press to cover
other, more benign issues,
51
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:32,050
until the public loses
interest in the story.
52
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:35,017
Maybe we should ignore
the problem till it goes away.
53
00:02:35,279 --> 00:02:37,883
I was thinking more like
setting the cafeteria on fire,
54
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,465
but we'll try it
your way first.
55
00:02:41,184 --> 00:02:42,309
I'll get it.
56
00:02:44,411 --> 00:02:45,990
- Oh, hi, Uncle Mike.
- Hi.
57
00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:47,423
While I was looking for help,
58
00:02:47,462 --> 00:02:49,638
my Uncle Michael
was looking for a free meal.
59
00:02:49,657 --> 00:02:51,529
- Big man!
- Hey, Uncle Mike.
60
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:53,484
Hey, I didn't know y'all
was having dinner.
61
00:02:53,551 --> 00:02:55,716
Why would you?
It's only dinnertime.
62
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:57,571
My Uncle Michael
didn't have a job,
63
00:02:57,629 --> 00:02:59,714
so he was always
free to stop by
64
00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:01,484
and free to eat some free food.
65
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,384
I didn't know y'all
was having breakfast.
66
00:03:05,155 --> 00:03:07,050
I didn't know
y'all was having lunch.
67
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,020
I didn't know y'all
was having pancakes.
68
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,266
We're in a pancake house.
69
00:03:13,451 --> 00:03:15,317
My father and Michael
didn't get along
70
00:03:15,384 --> 00:03:16,731
because whatever
my father said,
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00:03:16,826 --> 00:03:18,399
my uncle said the opposite.
72
00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:20,272
I like the Ford.
73
00:03:20,789 --> 00:03:21,999
I like the Chevy.
74
00:03:22,612 --> 00:03:24,139
I want to go
see Picasso.
75
00:03:24,484 --> 00:03:26,237
I want to go
see Matisse.
76
00:03:28,193 --> 00:03:29,297
Tastes great.
77
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,241
Less filling.
78
00:03:35,201 --> 00:03:36,762
Why don't you get
your uncle a plate?
79
00:03:37,529 --> 00:03:39,750
Mama, can you teach me how
to double Dutch?
80
00:03:39,817 --> 00:03:41,384
You don't know how
to double Dutch?
81
00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:42,783
It's easy.
82
00:03:42,850 --> 00:03:44,625
If it's so easy,
why don't you teach her?
83
00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:45,693
That's a girl game.
84
00:03:46,236 --> 00:03:47,869
How do you know to
double Dutch anyway?
85
00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:49,395
I don't know. Just do.
86
00:03:49,739 --> 00:03:51,117
So are you gonna teach me?
87
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,252
So, Chris,
what's up with you?
88
00:03:55,941 --> 00:03:58,254
Well, I was voted
eighth grade class president.
89
00:03:59,193 --> 00:04:00,950
Just like Jesse Jackson.*
90
00:04:01,017 --> 00:04:02,339
Ronald Reagan is the president.
91
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,250
Jesse Jackson's just a resident.
92
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,451
You might like Reagan,
but he don't like you.
93
00:04:07,683 --> 00:04:08,883
I like my nephew.
94
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:09,883
Black president.
95
00:04:10,178 --> 00:04:11,611
Way to go, yo.
96
00:04:13,197 --> 00:04:16,017
Uncle Michael had finished
dinner, but he wasn't finished.
97
00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:17,583
That was good, 'Chelle.
98
00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:19,583
Oh, thanks. How's Momma?
99
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,616
She threw me out.
100
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,042
Threw you out?!
101
00:04:22,089 --> 00:04:23,204
Well, what happened?
102
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:25,716
You know how Momma always
give you half of something.
103
00:04:25,889 --> 00:04:28,250
Well, there was a piece of cake
in the refrigerator.
104
00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:29,783
So I ate the whole thing.
105
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:32,417
Next thing I know,
she just started tripping.
106
00:04:32,484 --> 00:04:34,583
Talk about,
"You eat up everything.
107
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,135
You need to get a job
and buy your own cake."
108
00:04:37,217 --> 00:04:38,220
You believe that?
109
00:04:38,255 --> 00:04:40,484
Momma been tripping
since Daddy died.
110
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:41,850
Well, where are you staying?
111
00:04:41,958 --> 00:04:44,184
I was wondering
if I could stay here
112
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,609
with you a couple days.
113
00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:47,384
Oh, I don't know, Michael.
114
00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:48,690
I gotta ask Julius that.
115
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,284
Thank you, sis.
116
00:04:50,584 --> 00:04:51,616
You know I love you.
117
00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:53,850
Translation:
"Where am I sleeping?"
118
00:04:54,308 --> 00:04:55,737
"Will President be Impeached"?
119
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,551
Who's talking about
you getting impeached?
120
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:04,679
Maybe it's about time
we start thinking that cafetaria file*.
121
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:12,288
My father was tired
from work and tired of Uncle Michael.
122
00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:13,917
Where's Uncle Michael?
123
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,758
He's upstairs
asleep in my room.
124
00:05:15,852 --> 00:05:18,271
Sounds like a night
at the Neverland Ranch.
125
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:20,417
You all right?
126
00:05:21,276 --> 00:05:23,554
Yeah. I'm just having
some problems at school.
127
00:05:24,052 --> 00:05:26,484
You're president.
What kind of problems could you have?
128
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,317
I made some campaign promises
that I can't deliver.
129
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,783
So now they want to impeach me.
130
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:33,151
That's what you get.
131
00:05:34,071 --> 00:05:34,933
What?
132
00:05:34,992 --> 00:05:38,408
How'd you like it if I said I was gonna
do something for you and didn't do it?
133
00:05:40,076 --> 00:05:42,050
Okay, so then
what should I do?
134
00:05:42,157 --> 00:05:45,250
I don't know. I didn't promise
to tell you what to do,
135
00:05:45,559 --> 00:05:47,117
but you got yourself in this mess.
136
00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:48,650
Whatever happens, happens,
137
00:05:48,969 --> 00:05:50,350
but it's your responsibility.
138
00:05:50,561 --> 00:05:52,583
My father didn't believe
in making promises,
139
00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:55,180
which was tough for him
because they were free.
140
00:05:55,871 --> 00:05:58,935
Back at school, it was
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Truth.
141
00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:00,943
Why did you write all
this stuff about me?
142
00:06:00,954 --> 00:06:02,421
And who said I was getting impeached?
143
00:06:02,468 --> 00:06:05,783
It doesn't say you're getting impeached.
It's asking, "Will you get impeached?"
144
00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:07,716
Well, who asked
will I get impeached?
145
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:08,802
My sources.
146
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:09,983
What sources?
147
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,217
What would you think
if Chris got impeached?
148
00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:14,117
Is Chris going to be impeached?
149
00:06:14,406 --> 00:06:15,451
I think you're a fraud.
150
00:06:15,646 --> 00:06:18,134
I think you were lying then,
and I think you're lying now.
151
00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:20,783
This is totally unfair because
you've got a personal ax to grind.
152
00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:21,885
What ax?
153
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,117
Your boyfriend Ping is running
with Caruso and he lost.
154
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,250
You just want revenge.
155
00:06:25,398 --> 00:06:26,817
Ping is not my boyfriend.
156
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,320
- He's not?
- No!
157
00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:30,501
Say, what are you
doing after school?
158
00:06:31,264 --> 00:06:32,363
Sorry!
159
00:06:32,882 --> 00:06:35,798
I'm gonna continue to pursue the truth
wherever it leads me.
160
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,454
Now get out of my office.
161
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:38,482
Fine.
162
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:40,067
That was fair and balanced.
163
00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:43,188
While Lisa was
in pursuit of the truth,
164
00:06:43,282 --> 00:06:45,524
Uncle Michael was in pursuit
of a snooze.
165
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:57,524
I got my first lesson in ethics
166
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,790
and Tonya was getting hers
in double Dutch.
167
00:07:01,616 --> 00:07:04,328
Drew, I'm ready for you
to teach me how to double Dutch.
168
00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:05,890
Double Dutch is hard.
169
00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,624
I mean, you can't just
jump right into it.
170
00:07:07,691 --> 00:07:08,565
How come?
171
00:07:08,612 --> 00:07:11,286
'Cause double Dutch
is a serious sport.
172
00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,224
What do you think this is,
single Dutch?
173
00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:14,991
- No.
- Okay, then.
174
00:07:15,257 --> 00:07:16,724
You can start by stretching.
175
00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:18,157
Can you touch your toes?
176
00:07:23,853 --> 00:07:25,016
How many times?
177
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:26,605
I'll let you know.
178
00:07:27,589 --> 00:07:29,057
Just keep stretching.
179
00:07:29,608 --> 00:07:31,510
And after this,
we'll do knee bends.
180
00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:36,214
Tonya got stretched,
and so did my father's patience.
181
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:38,157
Why is your brother
sleeping on my couch?
182
00:07:38,885 --> 00:07:40,957
Him and Momma got
into a little fight.
183
00:07:41,024 --> 00:07:42,335
It'll just be for a few days.
184
00:07:42,405 --> 00:07:43,491
You couldn't ask me?
185
00:07:43,557 --> 00:07:44,625
I was going to.
186
00:07:44,925 --> 00:07:46,790
I don't want my kids
waking up in the morning
187
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:49,157
getting used to seeing a grown
man sleeping on the couch.
188
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,119
Don't worry, Julius,
he'll be gone soon.
189
00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:53,291
How soon?
190
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,569
Julius, he's family, okay?
191
00:07:56,605 --> 00:07:57,838
Just be patient.
192
00:07:57,965 --> 00:07:59,124
Big man!
193
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,839
That couch is kinda rough.
194
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,801
'Chelle, did you make
anything to eat?
195
00:08:06,324 --> 00:08:07,499
I'm hungry.
196
00:08:07,609 --> 00:08:09,090
Better make that food to go.
197
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,173
Michael, didn't you
eat last night?
198
00:08:12,245 --> 00:08:14,347
Yeah.
It's afternoon now.
199
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:17,840
86... 87... 88...
200
00:08:17,946 --> 00:08:19,524
- 89...
- What you doing?
201
00:08:19,591 --> 00:08:20,671
Jumping jacks.
202
00:08:20,695 --> 00:08:21,669
Why?
203
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:24,224
Because Drew's gonna teach me
how to double Dutch.
204
00:08:24,557 --> 00:08:25,696
By doing jumping jacks?
205
00:08:25,743 --> 00:08:28,045
He says it's gonna
build up my endurance.
206
00:08:30,658 --> 00:08:32,341
Come in the house,
it's time to eat.
207
00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:34,755
Come on.
208
00:08:37,387 --> 00:08:40,076
Hey, Tonya. Tomorrow,
we'll work on your footwork.
209
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,124
I thought you said we were gonna work
on hand-eye coordination.
210
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,591
That's the day after tomorrow.
211
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,679
Come on.
212
00:08:45,738 --> 00:08:47,570
While Drew
gave Tonya the runaround,
213
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,895
Uncle Michael just ate
and sat around.
214
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:51,923
This is good.
215
00:08:52,239 --> 00:08:53,847
So, how you doing,
Mr. President?
216
00:08:54,057 --> 00:08:55,124
Not so good.
217
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:57,391
Why, baby? What's wrong?
218
00:08:58,154 --> 00:09:00,934
Being class president
is a little bit harder than I thought.
219
00:09:01,039 --> 00:09:02,821
You gotta pay the cost
to be the boss.
220
00:09:03,247 --> 00:09:05,549
I know that's right.
Y'all listen to your uncle.
221
00:09:05,556 --> 00:09:07,024
She didn't say that
when he told us
222
00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:09,102
to invest our money
in parachute pants.
223
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,011
- Hey, Daddy.
- Hey.
224
00:09:11,224 --> 00:09:12,551
Big man!
225
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,728
Sit down
and have some of this chicken.
226
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:17,015
It's good, very good.
227
00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:19,922
That look means,
"You're lucky I don't have heat vision."
228
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:22,587
Baby, why don't you
come over here and sit down?
229
00:09:22,634 --> 00:09:24,348
I-I'll get you
a dinner plate.
230
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:32,051
So, uh, you been out
all day looking for work?
231
00:09:32,227 --> 00:09:33,823
No, I've been here all day.
232
00:09:34,179 --> 00:09:35,234
Why is that?
233
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,424
It's cold out there,
234
00:09:36,491 --> 00:09:37,691
but it's warm in here.
235
00:09:39,305 --> 00:09:41,419
Michael, why don't you
run out to the store
236
00:09:41,466 --> 00:09:43,133
and, uh, get us some Nestea?
237
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:44,836
But The A Team
about to come on.*
238
00:09:44,894 --> 00:09:46,243
That's my program.
239
00:09:46,391 --> 00:09:48,465
I love me
some Mr. T.
240
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,754
"I pity the fool."
241
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,857
That's my boy.
242
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,840
Go get the Nestea.
243
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,098
Here you go, baby.
244
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:06,435
Now, is there anything else
I could get for you?
245
00:10:06,923 --> 00:10:09,168
No.
I just want to sit in my chair.
246
00:10:09,238 --> 00:10:11,187
That face means
there's nothing worse
247
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:14,485
than sitting on a hot chair
warmed by a lazy ass.
248
00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:16,740
Mommy made you
really good spinach.
249
00:10:22,457 --> 00:10:25,531
Michael,
you talk to Momma yet?
250
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,527
Nah. I'm giving her a chance
to calm down.
251
00:10:29,114 --> 00:10:30,157
You got to leave.
252
00:10:30,645 --> 00:10:32,113
If Julius finds you
here tomorrow,
253
00:10:32,171 --> 00:10:33,663
I don't know
what he's going to do.
254
00:10:33,856 --> 00:10:36,768
If I go home, I don't know
what Momma gonna do.
255
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:38,859
You got one more night.
256
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:41,310
Okay, 'Chelle.
257
00:10:42,531 --> 00:10:43,482
Dang.
258
00:10:45,587 --> 00:10:47,572
And stay out of Julius' chair.
259
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:53,843
Back at school,
I stopped making promises,
260
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:55,391
and started making demands.
261
00:10:56,337 --> 00:10:58,412
I'd like all book reports
to be on books
262
00:10:58,459 --> 00:10:59,809
that were made into movies.
263
00:11:01,514 --> 00:11:02,641
Are you high?
264
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,347
I'm asking, not judging.
265
00:11:05,524 --> 00:11:06,584
No.
266
00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:09,190
I'm just trying
to fulfill my campaign promises.
267
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:12,607
Just for curiosity's sake,
what else did you promise?
268
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,527
A TV in the library,
more field trips,
269
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,758
instituting recess,
and no more detention.
270
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,510
Chris, how are you going
to know how to act
271
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:22,142
when you get stopped
by the police
272
00:11:22,177 --> 00:11:23,692
if we don't give you detention?
273
00:11:24,091 --> 00:11:25,957
Let me explain something to you, Chris.
274
00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:28,619
The Office of Class President
is titular.
275
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:30,157
What-u-lar?
276
00:11:30,224 --> 00:11:31,528
Titular, Chris.
277
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:34,061
It means you don't have
any power, just a title.
278
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:36,109
The first thing
I should have done as President
279
00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,753
was change the meaning
of "titular."
280
00:11:37,788 --> 00:11:40,275
Well, you're saying that,
even though I'm Class President,
281
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,635
I can't change anything
around here?
282
00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:43,763
Exactly.
283
00:11:43,943 --> 00:11:45,399
Well, if I don't have any power,
284
00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:47,149
how can you let them impeach me?
285
00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:49,568
I mean, come on,
I can't do anything.
286
00:11:49,912 --> 00:11:51,990
Can I at least
get French fries at lunch?
287
00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:54,857
I always thought you'd be more
the sweet potato type.
288
00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:56,719
The point is, Chris,
289
00:11:56,795 --> 00:11:58,451
the students
run the student government,
290
00:11:58,486 --> 00:11:59,923
and they can do
what they want.
291
00:12:00,029 --> 00:12:01,233
And I can't do anything.
292
00:12:01,268 --> 00:12:02,302
That's not true.
293
00:12:02,313 --> 00:12:04,658
Maybe you can talk them into
letting you stay in office.
294
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,942
That's a good idea.
295
00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,762
Give another one
of those speeches.
296
00:12:08,048 --> 00:12:09,809
But if I can make a suggestion,
297
00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:13,087
maybe this time
you should try rhyming.
298
00:12:14,732 --> 00:12:16,469
Maybe you should try Prozac.
299
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,867
Did you know
I didn't have any power?
300
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,754
What are you talking
about you got no power?
301
00:12:20,825 --> 00:12:21,857
You're the president.
302
00:12:21,923 --> 00:12:24,901
I'm a figurehead,
like Mayor McCheese,*
303
00:12:25,088 --> 00:12:28,248
like Colonel Sanders,*
like Dr. Detroit.
304
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,157
Dipaolo told guy we were going
to put cherry Kool-Aid
305
00:12:31,224 --> 00:12:32,241
in the water fountains.
306
00:12:32,673 --> 00:12:33,706
Dipaolo?
307
00:12:34,105 --> 00:12:35,691
Well, that was
another bad idea.
308
00:12:35,951 --> 00:12:37,008
Tell me about it.
309
00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:40,007
I thought being president
would help make us more popular
310
00:12:40,054 --> 00:12:41,475
and help solve some problems.
311
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:44,214
All it did was cause more problems
and make more people hate you.
312
00:12:44,252 --> 00:12:46,320
Well, at least
things can't get worse...
313
00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:50,729
Gotcha! You think you can steal my stuff
and get away with it?
314
00:12:50,776 --> 00:12:53,591
I didn't take this. These kids ran by
and they dropped it on my table!
315
00:12:53,658 --> 00:12:54,774
Good, tell it to the police.
316
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:56,418
- Greg, where you going?!
- Come on.
317
00:12:56,464 --> 00:12:58,587
While he's grabbing me,
three white kids grabbed
318
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:00,247
everything in
his cash register.
319
00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:07,400
"Heist By Class President Foiled
as Impeachment Looms"?
320
00:13:07,842 --> 00:13:09,079
This is outrageous!
321
00:13:09,161 --> 00:13:10,679
How are you going
to call me a liar?
322
00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:12,088
You're the liar.
I'm not guilty.
323
00:13:12,147 --> 00:13:14,067
They found the real guys
five minutes later.
324
00:13:14,222 --> 00:13:16,747
I had a deadline.
School was out in an hour and a half.
325
00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,048
You couldn't wait 30 minutes
326
00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:20,169
to find out whether your story
was true or not?
327
00:13:20,722 --> 00:13:22,999
You're the class president,
this is the news.
328
00:13:23,292 --> 00:13:24,480
We wouldn't have printed it
329
00:13:24,539 --> 00:13:26,781
if you hadn't exhibited
a pattern of behavior.
330
00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:28,240
What pattern?
331
00:13:28,299 --> 00:13:29,567
Maybe I was guilty.
332
00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:31,583
You're supposed
to be a journalist.
333
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:33,455
You can't in good
conscience let this stand
334
00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:34,829
without printing
a retraction.
335
00:13:35,032 --> 00:13:36,366
He's gonna lose his office.
336
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,995
I promise
I'll print a retraction.
337
00:13:42,543 --> 00:13:43,577
What are you gonna do?
338
00:13:43,636 --> 00:13:45,344
I don't know.
What can I do?
339
00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:49,355
While I was hoping
Lisa kept her promise,
340
00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:50,800
Tonya was showing some promise.
341
00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:52,381
How much longer, Drew?
342
00:13:53,128 --> 00:13:54,213
I'll tell you.
343
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,315
And after this,
you'll do wind sprints.
344
00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:57,787
Dang!
345
00:13:58,147 --> 00:14:00,073
Tonya trained harder
than Rocky
346
00:14:02,737 --> 00:14:05,743
My uncle hated to work so much,
he left a lazy stain.
347
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:08,667
Big man!
348
00:14:09,197 --> 00:14:10,201
Is that my shirt?
349
00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:12,517
I didn't even see that.
350
00:14:13,022 --> 00:14:14,149
Popcorn?
351
00:14:16,117 --> 00:14:18,066
Julius, let me explain.
352
00:14:18,518 --> 00:14:20,629
I don't want to know,
I don't want to understand,
353
00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:21,900
I don't even want to hear it.
354
00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:23,000
I just want him gone.
355
00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,900
Well, he has no place to go.
356
00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:25,998
I don't care.
357
00:14:26,452 --> 00:14:27,900
Him and my mother had a fight.
358
00:14:28,028 --> 00:14:29,801
He about
to have a fight with me.
359
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,188
What's he doing
with my shirt on?
360
00:14:32,469 --> 00:14:34,561
Well, he spilled chocolate sauce
on his.
361
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:36,252
- My chocolate sauce?
- Well...
362
00:14:36,368 --> 00:14:38,433
Now he's spilling my food,
he's wearing my shirt,
363
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,400
sitting on my couch,
eating my popcorn,
364
00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:42,733
watching my television,
burning my electricity.
365
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,633
Julius, he's my brother.
366
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:50,034
Okay. How much longer
do I have to deal with this?
367
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:51,455
Not much longer.
368
00:14:52,328 --> 00:14:55,167
Baby, because you're so
understanding about this,
369
00:14:55,438 --> 00:15:00,034
I am going to make your favorite
cheese grits for breakfast.
370
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:01,396
Cheese grits?
371
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,301
- I love them cheese grits.
- I know you do.
372
00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:08,366
Baby, I promise you
he'll be gone by tomorrow, okay?
373
00:15:08,634 --> 00:15:11,466
My dad had heard that before;
I think it was yesterday.
374
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:14,534
- Extra cheese?
- Extra cheese, sharp cheddar.
375
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,844
Sharp cheddar.
376
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,461
In as much as
our own student government
377
00:15:18,639 --> 00:15:21,257
reflects the reality
of our actual government,
378
00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:24,034
malfeasance on the part
of our seated president
379
00:15:24,327 --> 00:15:26,511
has brought us to this
impeachment hearing.
380
00:15:27,391 --> 00:15:29,446
All right, Kingfish,
you got the floor.
381
00:15:30,699 --> 00:15:32,625
Okay, over the past few days,
382
00:15:32,672 --> 00:15:34,562
rumors have been circulated
about me.
383
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,431
The press...
384
00:15:37,347 --> 00:15:38,973
have put out stories
385
00:15:39,032 --> 00:15:41,167
saying that I'm guilty
of a lot of things.
386
00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:43,617
- Are you done?
- No.
387
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:46,067
I didn't do any of those things.
388
00:15:46,134 --> 00:15:47,282
I'm not a crook.
389
00:15:48,492 --> 00:15:49,633
Nevertheless...
390
00:15:50,039 --> 00:15:51,214
After talking to Greg,
391
00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:53,550
I imagined what my father
would say to me.
392
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,464
So you're just gonna quit, huh?
393
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:58,550
All these people who made it
possible for you to become
394
00:15:58,585 --> 00:16:02,193
the first black class president,
and now you're just gonna quit?
395
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,153
Yeah, and what if we quit?
396
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:06,677
Black people would never have
become pilots.
397
00:16:06,873 --> 00:16:09,973
If I had quit, pancakes
would taste like crap!
398
00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,633
If I had quit, Cream of Wheat
would have been called
399
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:13,870
Cream of White!
400
00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:18,500
If I had quit, it would take
hours to cook rice.
401
00:16:19,531 --> 00:16:21,327
Chris,
I know you don't think
402
00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:23,922
being eight-grade class president
is a big deal,
403
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:27,164
but one day,
it will be.
404
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,433
If people tell you enough times
that you're wrong,
405
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,500
sometimes you forget
that you're right.
406
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,201
They could impeach me
if they wanted,
407
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:40,221
but I wasn't going to stand thereand let them call me a liar and a cheat.
408
00:16:40,543 --> 00:16:42,813
The reason I'm here now
is because the newspaper
409
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,683
has put out stories saying
that I lied and I cheated.
410
00:16:46,535 --> 00:16:49,476
And I promised you that I would try
to change things around here.
411
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:53,022
Well, I tried,
and it didn't work.
412
00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:56,005
Well, at least not yet.
413
00:16:57,318 --> 00:16:59,267
I still want to be
your class president,
414
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:02,618
it's just that I need another
chance to make things right.
415
00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:05,023
Y'all believed in me before.
416
00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:07,700
You can keep believing
in me now.
417
00:17:08,029 --> 00:17:09,344
Fight the power, Chris.
418
00:17:09,426 --> 00:17:10,694
Fight the power.
419
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,849
All right, all those in favor
420
00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:15,333
of impeaching Chris,
raise their hand and say "Aye."
421
00:17:15,986 --> 00:17:17,325
Aye!
422
00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:19,133
What?
423
00:17:19,274 --> 00:17:20,789
All right, the ayes have it.
424
00:17:20,888 --> 00:17:22,168
You're impeached.
425
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,828
I didn't even get a chance
to touch a fat white woman.
426
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,100
Hey, how come
you're not training?
427
00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:33,924
Because Drew lied to me.
428
00:17:34,177 --> 00:17:35,797
I did everything he asked.
429
00:17:36,149 --> 00:17:39,096
I ran through tires,
I did wind sprints
430
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,067
and I still
can't double Dutch.
431
00:17:41,365 --> 00:17:42,700
Well, I'll help you.
432
00:17:42,986 --> 00:17:44,348
- You will?
- Yeah.
433
00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:47,967
You already know how to do this.
434
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,703
Just count it out
and when I say "go," go.
435
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,368
Okay, ready...
436
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,105
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
437
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:02,267
Thanks, Drew.
438
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:05,225
What?
439
00:18:20,889 --> 00:18:22,034
Big man!
440
00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:25,528
I see why these cheese grits
are your favorite.
441
00:18:33,396 --> 00:18:35,463
Julius, come on, man!
442
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,814
I said I'm sorry, man!
443
00:18:40,023 --> 00:18:41,052
What?
444
00:18:41,639 --> 00:18:43,345
Can I at least get my clothes, man?
445
00:18:43,403 --> 00:18:44,613
You want your clothes?
446
00:18:44,662 --> 00:18:47,445
I got your clothes.
I got your clothes.
447
00:18:48,032 --> 00:18:50,638
That's for eating
my cheese grits.
448
00:18:51,404 --> 00:18:53,576
Julius, this is wrong, man.
449
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,791
I'm gonna tell 'Chelle
about this!
450
00:18:55,838 --> 00:18:57,070
What you looking at?!
451
00:18:57,117 --> 00:18:59,160
You ain't never been throwed out
before?
452
00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:00,565
This is wrong, man!
453
00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:01,704
Over some grits?!
454
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:04,484
My father eventually came
downstairs to return his sock,
455
00:19:04,566 --> 00:19:07,695
but he shoved it somewhere
that Uncle Michael couldn't reach it.
456
00:19:07,848 --> 00:19:09,268
I need a ride, man!
457
00:19:10,168 --> 00:19:12,059
Getting impeached taught me
a valuable lesson:
458
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,573
only make promises
you can keep.
459
00:19:13,609 --> 00:19:15,748
From then on,
I just promised to eat pizza
460
00:19:15,783 --> 00:19:16,957
and watch the Knicks game.
461
00:19:17,016 --> 00:19:18,859
She promised a retraction.
Here it is.
462
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:22,633
Do you see this?
This is tinier than
463
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,500
the print in the Bazooka
Joe comic strip.*
464
00:19:24,938 --> 00:19:27,392
Well, we had a good run
and we made history.
465
00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:31,079
Yeah, I know. I was the first class
president ever to be impeached.
466
00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:34,148
I wonder who's
going to replace you.
467
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:35,540
Probably Dipaolo.
468
00:19:35,622 --> 00:19:37,659
Great, we're gonna have
an idiot for president.
469
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:40,206
Who knew Greg could see
into the future?
470
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:42,569
See you later.
471
00:19:45,844 --> 00:19:46,995
Hey, check this out.
472
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,778
There's cherry Kool-Aid coming
out of the water fountain.
473
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:54,287
FRM/Sixe/Birdyben
474
00:19:54,337 --> 00:19:58,887
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