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1
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,060
Are you absolutely positive
everything's all right?
2
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,120
You're fine. Get dressed.
3
00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:00,220
You wouldn't take another look?
Nope.
4
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,220
(PHONE RINGS)
Just to make sure.
5
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,240
We're finished here.
6
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,060
"Hello?"
No offence, but you are a man.
7
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,140
And I don't know that you know
that much about...
8
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,100
(PHONE RINGS)
I know more about it than you do.
9
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,060
Doc, I think it would be better
for us all if you sent me
10
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:22,120
When there's actually anything wrong,
I'll be only too pleased to.
11
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,220
Kept me waiting 20 minutes.
Put that cigarette out.
12
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,180
Doc?
13
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,040
We're here.
Mm.
14
00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:43,140
Here he is.
Here's Daddy.
15
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,020
All right, Doc? About time too.
I've been calling you.
16
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,020
I know you have.
It's just, you know...
17
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,160
my duty to get you
down that aisle on time.
18
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:55,040
You are not my best man.
Let's not put a title on it, eh?
19
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,160
I thought you were getting changed.
I did.
20
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,180
Doc. Now, can I
give you a word of advice?
21
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,200
No.
Something that my father used to -
22
00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:07,100
Really, no. Well, I think I've said
all I have to say on the subject.
23
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,000
Yes, you have. But as one of
your last few surviving relatives -
24
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,100
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh!
All right.
25
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,220
Is she here yet?
She's on her way.
26
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:20,080
Probably. Don't worry about a thing,
Doc. Just get yourself inside, eh?
27
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,080
Doc? Wait.
28
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,160
Bet you thought I'd forgotten,
right?
29
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,200
Thank you.
30
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,040
(MEDITATIVE ORGAN MUSIC)
31
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,080
15 minutes late. That's not...
that's not long for a bride.
32
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,200
I know.
Mind you, about a month ago,
33
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:08,980
we had a man standing right there...
34
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,100
15 minutes, 30,
35
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,140
an hour, two hours.
36
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,200
I think we hit three
before the penny dropped.
37
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:19,060
Apparently, she'd run off
with the best man.
38
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,180
Don't have to worry about that
with me, Doc.
39
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,200
Would you...sit down, please?
40
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:27,160
(WHISTLES WE'LL MEET AGAIN)
41
00:04:57,180 --> 00:05:00,060
WAGNER: Wedding March from Lohengrin
42
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,060
Sorry.
Had a bit of trouble with my hair.
43
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,080
Oh. I know. I mean...
44
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,040
It's...it's all right.
45
00:05:32,220 --> 00:05:36,020
(You're nervous. Yeah. Me, too.)
46
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,100
Who are all these people?
Guests. (CLEARS THROAT)
47
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,180
Barely deloved...
48
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,040
we are gathered here...today...
49
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,080
..to bless the joining of this man
and woman in holy matrimony.
50
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:55,240
Marriage is not to be
entered into lightly...
51
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000
but reverently.
52
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,200
Which means you have to be sure.
53
00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:03,220
We are.
54
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,060
Both of you?
55
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,080
(CURTLY) Yes.
56
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,020
If anyone present
can show just cause
57
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,100
why they should not
be lawfully married,
58
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,100
speak now,
or forever hold your peace.
59
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,200
(BABY CRIES)
(LAUGHTER)
60
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,080
'Out of the mouths of babes...'
61
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,060
In which case...
62
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,100
Do you, Louisa Roberta Glasson
63
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,140
take Martin Christopher Ellingham
64
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,000
to be your lawful wedded husband?
65
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000
Yes. I do.
66
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:42,200
And do you, Martin Ellingham -
Yes, I do.
67
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,200
Hm. Does the best man have the ring?
68
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,040
No.
69
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,160
With this ring I thee -
70
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:02,160
Yes. Right. We're not quite ready
for the putting on the finger bit.
71
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,080
Apparently, we are (!)
72
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:08,000
So, by the power invested in me,
73
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:12,020
I now pronounce you...man and wife.
74
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,120
You may kiss the bride.
75
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,040
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
76
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,180
(CHEERING)
77
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,160
Oh, Ruth, thank you.
78
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:21,020
I can't believe I'm married.
79
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,080
Do I look married?
Now you do (!)
80
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,200
A day to remember.
81
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,120
(GASPS)
Katy, you made it.
82
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,160
Not quite up to our standard, boy.
Pretty tasty, though.
83
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,240
Crooked as a dog's hind leg.
84
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,020
Thought I'd er...
come over and pay my respects, Doc.
85
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,080
Thank you.
86
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:46,040
You've got a real beauty there.
87
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,180
Yes.
I need you to have a look at my leg.
88
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,220
It's er...it's been clicking.
For God's sake. Of course not!
89
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,240
Make an appointment!
90
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,080
I'm not drunk. Who said I was drunk?
91
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,140
Why did you invite Chippy Miller?
92
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,060
He's hardly a close friend.
I didn't invite him.
93
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,020
In fact, a lot of people here
weren't invited.
94
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,020
Well, we'd better move them on, then.
95
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,240
No, it's nice them showing up.
They're wishing us well.
96
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,980
It's nice.
They're not thinking about us.
97
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,140
They're thinking about
free food and cider.
98
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,120
Well, it's the way things work
round here, Martin.
99
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,980
You might've wanted a nice, quiet
reception. But the village didn't.
100
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,140
If they're so determined
to have a party, why don't we
101
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,100
You have been to a wedding before,
haven't you?
102
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,220
There's the cake-cutting
and the dancing to go yet.
103
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,120
Just a bit longer.
Yes, OK.
104
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,160
(TAPPING GLASS)
Ladies and gentlemen?
105
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,140
Hello?!
106
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,160
(LAUGHTER)
107
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,140
Today...a great man...
108
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,020
..a great physician...
109
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,140
and the greatest thing
to happen to Portwenn
110
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,240
since the new parking area
at the beach...
111
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000
(LAUGHTER)
112
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,200
..married -
You're a loser! Get off!
113
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:16,160
..married...
one of our natural treasures.
114
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
Louisa Glasson.
115
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:24,040
There were a few roadblocks
and diversions en route.
116
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,100
And a quick stopover
at the maternity ward.
117
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,120
But happily, they have arrived
at their destination.
118
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,200
Oh, please! Siddown!
Shh!
119
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,060
Back in 1984...
(INAUDIBLE)
120
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,060
..Tina Turner asked the question...
121
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:49,000
What's love got to do...
got to do with it?
122
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,180
And the answer is...
(Go!)
123
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,180
(MUSIC BEGINS)
124
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,100
Bert? Bert,
I haven't finished my speech.
125
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,100
Go on, Doc!
126
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,140
(SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT)
127
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,100
But I...I got some good jokes.
128
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,160
I think that's meant for us.
Is it mandatory?
129
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:12,100
You don't have to
if you don't want to, Martin.
130
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,100
ROD STEWART: Sailing
131
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,120
(CHEERING)
132
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,100
I may be a touch rusty.
133
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,120
(Not very good.)
134
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,200
I learnt at school.
It was compulsory.
135
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,020
That was your foot!
Sorry. It's been a while.
136
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,040
It's OK.
Sorry.
137
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,060
Did you have dance lessons
when you were a child?
138
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,060
No.
139
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,080
I thought not.
140
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:08,060
(MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH)
141
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:17,020
What?
142
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,040
They're plotting. Oh, God.
I hope it's nothing embarrassing.
143
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,180
Why don't we leave,
while we still can? Yes. Good.
144
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,000
Ah. You are not gonna
get off that easy, my lovers.
145
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,020
We have a surprise for you.
146
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,020
Can't have a wedding
without a honeymoon.
147
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,060
Martin! Was this your idea?
Absolutely not.
148
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,100
So we have all chipped in
and you'll be whisked away
149
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,000
to a luxury vacation
with all the trimmings.
150
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:59,140
And I'm perfectly capable
of looking after him.
151
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,140
Oh, Ruth. I...I don't know.
152
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,180
It's only for one night, dear.
153
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,100
He won't feel you've abandoned him.
And even if he does,
154
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,140
he's far too young
to remember any of it.
155
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,220
Oh. Just one night?
156
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,160
Bags all packed and ready to go.
In the boot.
157
00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:17,180
What, you've been in our bedroom?
Rifling through your ironed
158
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,060
What? And Large Restaurant
has donated a fully stocked hamper
159
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,140
to get your honeymoon night
off with a bang, Doc.
160
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,000
Oh! Martin? Can we?
161
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,100
(STUTTERS)
If...if you...
162
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,080
If you really want to.
Quick! Before he changes his mind.
163
00:13:36,220 --> 00:13:40,120
Bye-bye, James.
Now, Ruth, thank you so much.
164
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,220
Now, listen.
There's food in the fridge.
165
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:46,220
He likes banana custard.
But don't give him the spoon,
166
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,100
He's not been sleeping very well.
Yes, dear. You've already told me.
167
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,160
You might want to try
a vigorous rocking motion.
168
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:54,180
No, not too...not too hard, though.
169
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,080
And he loves his purple dinosaur.
It's the little one on the bed. Yes.
170
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,100
Mind your dress.
Bye!
171
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,020
Doc, I didn't finish my speech.
I've got this great joke.
172
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:08,200
This man goes to the doctor.
He says, 'Doctor, Doctor...'
173
00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:11,000
'..I think I need glasses.'
174
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,240
Doc?
175
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:41,140
So, Bert. Where are you taking us?
You two lovebirds just sit back
176
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,100
This is your day. Just tell us
where we're going, Bert.
177
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,180
I don't want to ruin the surprise,
Doc.
178
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,140
Let's just say it's the most
romantic spot in all Cornwall.
179
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,040
It comes with a Bert Large
stamp of approval.
180
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,180
That doesn't exactly fill me
with confidence (!) 'Ere.
181
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,120
I had my honeymoon in this lodge.
That's how deep the personal
182
00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:01,060
Oh, right.
So we're staying in a lodge.
183
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,060
Great (!)
That's the surprise ruined.
184
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,120
Well, I hope you're
happy with yourselves.
185
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,180
I don't think I've ever
been out this way before.
186
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,100
That's the beauty of it.
Isolated, romantic.
187
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,120
No-one around to disturb you.
188
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:20,060
I spent my entire honeymoon...naked.
189
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,120
Oh, Bert!
Twas the wife's idea.
190
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:25,220
She said, 'Bert, we're married now.
The nearest house is a mile away.'
191
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,200
'Why do we need clothes?' Like Adam
and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
192
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,220
(BERT PRATTLES ON FAINTLY)
193
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,200
'Ere. Not much further. You'll see.
194
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,220
Hidden jaffa, this.
195
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,100
There we are.
Oh...
196
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,180
This is perfect, Bert!
Thank you so much.
197
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,160
Well, it certainly looks all right
from the outside.
198
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:27,180
Champagne and nibbles -
just to keep you ticking over.
199
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,180
Oh, how romantic.
200
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,200
Thank you.
We'll sort out the money later, Doc.
201
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,020
I thought you said this was a gift.
Well, yes. Of course.
202
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,140
But a whip-round only goes so far.
203
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,180
And you're no doubt
lining your own pocket.
204
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,220
Now. I'll be back in the morning...
to pick you both up.
205
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,080
How much?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
206
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,120
How much is this going to cost us?
Cheers and gone.
207
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,020
Bert! Stop!
208
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,120
Bert! Stop!
209
00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:02,080
Martin...
Bert! Idiot!
210
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,180
I'm sure it won't be that much.
He's driven off with our luggage.
211
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,060
We've got no clothes to change into,
or even toothbrushes.
212
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,220
It's only for a night.
I'm sure we can rough it.
213
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,220
Come on. Let's have a look inside.
214
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,100
Yes.
Oh, look!
215
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,000
It's so beautiful, Martin. Look!
216
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000
It's so kind of them.
Oh, God!
217
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,160
Oh, God!
218
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,160
Oh!
219
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,220
Oh, isn't it lovely, Martin?
220
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,220
It's a pleasant surprise.
221
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,200
Oh. No signal.
222
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,100
No telephone either,
by the looks of things.
223
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,180
Even better (!)
224
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,220
Listen.
225
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,240
What?
226
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,980
Nothing.
227
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,200
Nothing at all. No noise.
228
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,060
No traffic, no moaning patients,
229
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,140
no crying babies.
230
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,140
Just you...
231
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,160
and me.
232
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,160
What are you doing?
Er...
233
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,080
Nothing. I was just...
Nothing.
234
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,160
Good.
235
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,140
Well, hello...
236
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,180
husband.
237
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,200
Hello...
238
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,080
..Mrs Ellingham.
239
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,040
I'll light a fire.
240
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,040
And I'll open that
bottle of champagne.
241
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,180
Whatever you say.
242
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,200
I didn't say anything.
243
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,160
I know.
244
00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:40,160
Just a bite.
245
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,020
Just one...little...mouthful.
246
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,040
That's all. Hm?
247
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,040
Oh, come on.
Your continuous refusal
248
00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:52,140
is frankly bordering
on the antisocial.
249
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,120
Look at his big smile.
250
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,120
He likes it. Hm?
251
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,100
Mm! It's delicious!
252
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,200
Mm! Oh...God!
253
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,220
I stand corrected. It's disgusting!
254
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,000
Well, at least it shows
you have good taste.
255
00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,080
Why do men always
want to build a fire?
256
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,240
Maybe it's just a caveman thing.
257
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,060
Actually, it's lucky there was so
much kindling. The important thing is
258
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,220
to get it as hot as possible
as soon as possible.
259
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,060
Warm up the flue...get it drawing.
260
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,200
To counteract the...air sink.
261
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,040
Maybe caveman wasn't
the right choice of word (!)
262
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,100
Cheers.
263
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,120
Yes.
264
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,980
Do you remember
the first day we met?
265
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
I do.
266
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,980
Acute glaucoma.
You made me wear an eye patch.
267
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,060
And I felt like a pirate.
Mm.
268
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,060
Of course, the er...
269
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,140
alternate treatment is to apply
a parrot to your shoulder (!)
270
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,160
That was a joke, Martin!
271
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,120
Yes.
Very good.
272
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
(COUGHS)
273
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,020
(COUGHS)
It's not you. It's the smoke.
274
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,100
Oh, the chimney's blocked.
Did you open the damper?
275
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:26,000
What damper? It's like
a kind of flap with a handle.
276
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:28,020
I know what a damper is.
(COUGHS)
277
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,000
Martin, be careful!
I'll get a kettle.
278
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,020
That won't put it out!
279
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,120
See if you can find
a fire extinguisher!
280
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,240
I'm looking for something.
Quickly!
281
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,000
Martin, that's our champagne!
282
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,140
Er...yes.
283
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,060
Agh!
284
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,080
(COUGHS)
285
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,980
You all right?
I'm so sorry. (GIGGLES)
286
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,060
What?
A thing here.
287
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,000
Oh. Got it?
288
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,120
Right. Come on.
289
00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:11,060
Wait. Where are you going?
That house that we passed.
290
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,060
Private telephone. Call Bert.
We need our luggage.
291
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,220
I'm not exactly dressed for a hike,
am I?
292
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,140
You can't stay. The place is awash
with bronchial irritants.
293
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,060
Martin, it's getting dark.
And look. It's foggy.
294
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,080
Please. Can't we just stay here?
295
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,100
(HARRUMPHS)
296
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,080
Martin? What are you doing? Martin?
297
00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,180
Oh!
(COUGHING)
298
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:38,100
Seriously? Come on.
299
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,100
OK. Well...
300
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:43,020
I suppose a walk in the country
might be romantic sort of.
301
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,980
Martin?
302
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,080
Come on!
Martin?
303
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,060
(GROWLS)
304
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,560
Martin!
Buck up!
305
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,720
Martin?
306
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,660
MARTIN!
What?
307
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,640
You keep going ahead of me!
I'm just looking for the road.
308
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:08,660
Did you find it?
No.
309
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,540
Yeah, cos I'm sure it's
the other way. Look. Logically,
310
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,540
if we stick to the path,
we can't go wrong.
311
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,640
Of course. Because nothing about a
long-distance hike in a wedding
312
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,620
Slow down. I just can't keep up.
313
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,560
It's just a question
of taking longer strides.
314
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,660
I'm wearing heels, Martin.
Yes. Right.
315
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,680
Take my arm.
316
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,680
Just try and keep in step with me.
317
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,680
Steady rhythm.
Fine!
318
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,520
(BABY CRYING)
319
00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:41,540
You must sleep.
320
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,680
It aids neural development.
321
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,540
(CRYING)
322
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,540
All the other babies
are doing it right now.
323
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,580
Do you want to fall behind
the other children?
324
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,600
(CRYING STOPS)
325
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:03,560
There you go!
326
00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:07,740
Now you're getting the idea.
327
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,720
(BABY RESUMES CRYING)
Oh, bugger!
328
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,720
Well, we're definitely
going the wrong way. We're not.
329
00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:24,580
When we drove in,
the trees were on the left.
330
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,660
And now there are trees
all around us.
331
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,700
I'm not certain that's correct.
332
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,540
We're in the middle of a forest,
Martin.
333
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,740
Well, strictly speaking,
it isn't a forest, it's a wood.
334
00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:36,520
Seriously? Is that your argument?
335
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,500
You're going the wrong way and the
best you can do is split hairs -
336
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,500
Sh!
No, not - Shh!
337
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,520
There's someone out there.
338
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,720
Hello?
339
00:24:47,740 --> 00:24:49,740
Who's there?
(RUSTLING)
340
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,680
Show yourself!
341
00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:59,600
All right, I've had enough.
I want this to stop instantly.
342
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,500
Oh, God!
343
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,700
Stupid animal! You're really
not the outdoor type, are you?
344
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,720
Shoo!
345
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,680
(SIGHS WITH RELIEF)
Right. Now let's find that telephone.
346
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,520
Martin, careful!
(SCREAMS)
347
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,640
I thought I saw a rabbit.
I didn't want you scared,
348
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:21,640
or to get into a confrontation
with it, or anything (!)
349
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:24,660
(MIMICS MARTIN)
This is my final warning! Yes.
350
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,680
Show yourselves (!)
351
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,720
(LAUGHS)
I was trying to protect you.
352
00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:30,740
Final warning (!)
353
00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:38,580
Ah.
Oh, you took your time.
354
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:43,500
Sorry. Dad wouldn't let me go
without a short course in
355
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,580
So. What's the problem?
356
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,560
The lights have blown (!)
357
00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:49,600
Ah.
358
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,700
In all likelihood,
there's probably a short somewhere.
359
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,560
Did you erm...
did you turn anything on?
360
00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:59,580
A kettle? Ah.
361
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,600
No, nothing. Just the dishwasher.
Dishwasher?
362
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:05,700
Yeah. Er...
363
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,640
Can you fix it?
If I had the proper equipment...
364
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,620
..probably not.
365
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,500
So the baby and I stay in the dark
until the morning.
366
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,520
(BABY GRIZZLES)
367
00:26:17,540 --> 00:26:19,540
I'll make a call.
368
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,500
I think we might possibly...er,
have taken a wrong turning.
369
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,520
Well, I have been saying that
for the past 50 minutes, Martin.
370
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:39,500
Well, it doesn't seem like
it's too deep.
371
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,520
I'm not wading across it.
372
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,540
Well, we have to keep going
in a straight line.
373
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,620
Otherwise,
we'll start to go round in circles.
374
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,720
And I'm still not wading across it,
Martin. No.
375
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,680
All right, then.
I'll...I'll carry you.
376
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,660
Really?
Yes. Sure?
377
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,680
Erm...
378
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,580
Don't drop me!
379
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,700
You're crushing my windpipe.
380
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,500
How do you think those two
are getting on?
381
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,700
Oh, the usual blend
of chalk and cheese, I imagine.
382
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,660
(KNOCKING)
383
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,700
We saw the candles.
Everything all right?
384
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,720
Or have I missed the seance (?)
385
00:27:19,740 --> 00:27:21,740
No, everything is not all right.
386
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,560
I would've thought
that was perfectly obvious.
387
00:27:24,580 --> 00:27:26,660
The lights have blown
and Al can't fix them.
388
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,580
But apparently
there's somebody who can.
389
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,600
Yeah. Mike Pruddy is on his way.
Oh. It's an electrician you need.
390
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:37,620
Might save you some money there. Oh,
it's best left to the professionals.
391
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,500
Down the hall on the right.
392
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,620
He won't electrocute himself,
will he?
393
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,620
We can only hope.
(KNOCKING)
394
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,640
Evening.
395
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,520
Oh, yes, do come in.
Everyone else has (!)
396
00:27:50,540 --> 00:27:52,660
Thought I'd better check on the boy.
Electrics (!)
397
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,660
Joe's on it.
Oh, no.
398
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,580
That bloke could start a fire
in a bowl of water.
399
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,600
Sounds rather Biblical.
400
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,540
I wonder if you CAN start a fire
in a bowl of water.
401
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,580
Look out! (SERIES OF SMALL
EXPLOSIONS AND SHATTERING GLASS)
402
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,720
Man down! We've a man down!
403
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,600
How did you imagine
we'd spend our wedding night?
404
00:28:15,620 --> 00:28:17,620
Not like this.
405
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,520
This is a mistake.
We should be at home.
406
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,680
Oh, steady, Martin!
Yes.
407
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,720
Idiot Bert!
408
00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,740
Abandoning us in that place.
409
00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:35,500
Yeah, well, him and the villagers
wanted to surprise us.
410
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,560
Well, they all knew
we didn't want a honeymoon.
411
00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:39,700
YOU didn't want a honeymoon.
Well, you agreed.
412
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,580
Because I didn't wanna drag you off
somewhere and have you complaining.
413
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,580
So, you DID want a honeymoon?
414
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,600
I wanted you to want one.
415
00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:51,500
What...?
Oh, no. I don't understand that.
416
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,520
No. You don't, do you?
417
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,500
You never do.
418
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,520
Right. We're cold...
419
00:28:58,540 --> 00:29:01,600
we're wet...
Let's just call Bert.
420
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,680
Find a telephone,
get home as fast as we can.
421
00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:06,740
You were right.
It was probably a...mistake.
422
00:29:09,580 --> 00:29:13,540
I could've been crippled.
You shouldn't have been standing
423
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,700
I needed to get a better angle
on the situation.
424
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,700
Now, be honest. How bad is it?
425
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,580
That is borderline, that is.
Will it leave a scar?
426
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,680
You might need butterflies.
Then again, you might need sutures.
427
00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:26,720
I think you're possibly forgetting
there's a doctor in the house.
428
00:29:26,740 --> 00:29:29,520
What is the recommended treatment,
then, Doc?
429
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:31,500
Stick a plaster on it and shut up.
430
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,660
Evening.
431
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,620
Evening, Corporal.
Show him where it is, Al. Oh, right.
432
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,640
(BABY CRIES)
433
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,520
I'd give him a try, but...
I've been compromised.
434
00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:52,740
Can I say something?
No!
435
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:56,500
I think you're being unfair.
Oh. Why, thank you (!)
436
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,620
Because you say one thing
when you mean another.
437
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,660
You agree to something when
actually you want something else.
438
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,560
It doesn't make sense. So if I'd said
I wanted a big, lavish wedding,
439
00:30:06,580 --> 00:30:08,700
with white horses
and a gold carriage,
440
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,520
and a big reception
with hundreds of guests,
441
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:14,500
and a week-long honeymoon
on some tropical island,
442
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,520
you'd have said what? Hm?
443
00:30:16,540 --> 00:30:19,580
Martin? Martin? Martin?!
444
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,720
Can you see anything? No, nothing
at all, cos you're blinding me.
445
00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:28,520
I bet this is boring
compared to army life, huh?
446
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:32,500
(LAUGHS) If you think rewiring fuse
boxes in the desert is exciting,
447
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,500
then...then, yeah.
448
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,580
If you need any backup, let me know.
449
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,600
You can hand me that box.
450
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,660
We're in the same line of work,
you and me. You're an electrician?
451
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,660
No. Special forces.
452
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,700
You army, me police.
453
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,520
So, we're not really
in the same line of work, then.
454
00:30:52,540 --> 00:30:56,660
Well...we're both trained to
respond to an emergency situation.
455
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,720
Primed and ready
at the shortest notice.
456
00:30:58,740 --> 00:31:00,740
There is something you could do
to help me.
457
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:03,500
Stop talking (!)
458
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,520
Right.
459
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,500
Agh! I'm all right. I think.
460
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,700
Ow! Ooh, no.
I may have sprained my wrist.
461
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,540
Right. I'm coming down.
No, don't. It's too steep.
462
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,580
I'll come up.
Just catch me if I fall. What?
463
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,660
Aaargh!
464
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,700
What?! Ow!
Sorry.
465
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,720
Oh. Your dress.
466
00:31:22,740 --> 00:31:26,500
It's fine. I wasn't planning on
wearing it again anyway.
467
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,580
Oh, no. You're hurt.
No, it's...it's nothing.
468
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,700
Let me have a look.
There's no need.
469
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,680
(A FOX BARKS)
What the hell was that?!
470
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:38,620
I'll kill you! We need to get out
of here.
471
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,540
It's just the farmer shouting at
foxes. It's fine.
472
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,600
Are you sure?
(BARK)
473
00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:45,620
(MORE BARKING AND A MAN SHOUTS)
474
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,580
Yeah. 99% sure.
475
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,700
And a fox and a farmer means a
farmhouse. Which means a telephone.
476
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,720
So...
Agh!
477
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:57,600
99% sure.
478
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,680
That's not entirely conclusive,
is it...Louisa?
479
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,180
Oh. All right.
480
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,180
Not a farmhouse, then.
481
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,080
Hm. Doesn't look like he exactly
welcomes visitors, either.
482
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
Well, we're here now.
483
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,160
(BARKS)
(SCREAMS) Get out!
484
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,120
Martin, are you all right?
Er...yes.
485
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,140
What are you doing out here?!
486
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,080
Who are you?
487
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,200
I'm just looking for some help.
488
00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:45,180
Erm...would you mind
lowering your gun?
489
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,060
I don't like people
poking around here.
490
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:52,060
We're not poking around. We just
wanted to use your telephone.
491
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,080
(SNORTS)
Of course you don't.
492
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,020
What's with the fancy clothes?
493
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,060
It's our wedding day and this is...
our honeymoon.
494
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,220
Congratulations.
495
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,140
Easy, tiger!
496
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,180
No sudden moves.
497
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,180
Is that thing loaded?
Course it's loaded.
498
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:15,140
Well, put it down before somebody
gets hurt - yourself included.
499
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,040
And if you can't offer us a phone,
we'll just be on our way.
500
00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:20,060
No, no, no.
501
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,080
You're not going anywhere.
502
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,100
I beg your pardon?
503
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,120
There are foxes out here.
504
00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,220
Edna?!
505
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,120
Are you taking
any sort of medication?
506
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,240
Do you know what the date is?
Course I do.
507
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,000
So should you,
it being your wedding day an' all.
508
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,100
Edna!
509
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,000
Is that your wife?
My dog.
510
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,000
She's a good judge of character.
511
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,140
So, what happens now?
512
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,120
You start mending my chicken coop.
513
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,140
I'm sure it looks worse than it is.
514
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,220
We can probably just, you know,
stand it back up again,
515
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,060
It needs to be done properly.
516
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,100
You broke it...you fix it!
517
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:15,160
How about I give you some money
and then you can get it patched up?
518
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,240
Tools are over there.
519
00:34:29,180 --> 00:34:31,180
Cheers.
All done.
520
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,060
Teamwork.
Told you we'd get it sorted, Ruth.
521
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,240
Bet you're glad we're here.
Delighted (!)
522
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,220
Last orders.
523
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:40,240
Drink up and be on your way.
Right, lads.
524
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,140
Let's be hitting the sack, eh?
The early bird catches the felon.
525
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,180
I've gotta be up
a bit sharpish myself, too.
526
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,200
I've gotta go and fetch
the doc and Loui-
527
00:34:48,220 --> 00:34:50,220
Oh, bugger it.
What?
528
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:53,220
Let's just say that someone forgot
to give the doc his suitcase.
529
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:56,220
I mean, he'd see the funny side
of that, wouldn't he? (BABY CRIES)
530
00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:59,140
Oh, James Henry Ellingham.
531
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:03,060
You are intent on torturing
your Great Aunt Ruth tonight.
532
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,100
Well, he's teething, in'e?
Poor little bugger.
533
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,140
Is he?
That's why his chin's all red.
534
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,160
He can't help drooling.
535
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:14,200
What are you looking for?
(CRYING)
536
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,180
Here.
Vanilla essence?
537
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,120
Rub it on his gums with your finger.
538
00:35:21,140 --> 00:35:24,240
This isn't the 16th century -
he'll need an analgesic.
539
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,220
Counter-pressure helps the pain of
the tooth pushing through.
540
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,240
See, I grew up in a family of ten.
541
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:34,240
I was the eldest. Screaming babies
were practically the soundtrack
542
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,080
If I hadn't been raised
to show no emotion...
543
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,040
..I might cry myself.
544
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,220
Got one.
545
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:56,040
There's 13 others running round
out there like fox food. In you go.
546
00:35:57,100 --> 00:36:00,220
For God's sake! My dog Edna
could do a better job than that.
547
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,020
Well, why don't you do it yourself,
then?
548
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,220
No. I'd rather see a moron like you
make a good job of it. Ha-ha-ha!
549
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,220
Excuse me?
What?
550
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,240
Yes, we broke your chicken coop.
551
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,060
But you pointed a gun at us,
held us hostage,
552
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,220
and now you're insulting my husband.
Louisa. No!
553
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,000
Good manners cost nothing.
554
00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,140
I think your missus
is a little bit doolally.
555
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,060
Oh, do you?
Look. I banged your post in.
556
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,060
Just tell us where that telephone is
and we'll be on our way.
557
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,140
Oh, for God's sake!
558
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,220
I'll bash it in. Here. Give me that.
559
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,240
You hold the post.
560
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,200
Apologise!
Louisa! It's all right, Martin.
561
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,020
Apologise to my husband and to me.
562
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,240
Go on!
563
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,140
Sorry.
Now fix your post.
564
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,020
Louisa, give me that rifle.
Ow!
565
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,040
Ow!
What's happened?
566
00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:54,020
Martin.
Let me see.
567
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,060
I think you've
dislocated your shoulder.
568
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,100
You mean, you have. What's wrong
with you people, coming round here
569
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:03,060
in the middle of the night...
demanding things, breaking things?
570
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,160
Let me see it.
No. You're not touching me!
571
00:37:05,180 --> 00:37:08,000
He's a doctor. Stop whining
and let him have a look.
572
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,140
Come on. Open your shirt.
573
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,160
I would if I could.
All right.
574
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,120
Yep. The humeral head's
come out of its socket.
575
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,180
It doesn't seem to hurt as much now.
No, it wouldn't.
576
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,080
The body produces endorphins
to reduce shock.
577
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:28,060
But you'll be in severe and
incapacitating pain in minutes.
578
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,100
I don't think he means it like that.
No, I do. He'll be in agony.
579
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,120
Can you fix it?
580
00:37:33,140 --> 00:37:35,120
Yes, of course I can.
I mean, properly.
581
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,120
Move into the light.
582
00:37:41,220 --> 00:37:44,080
Louisa, please
stop waving that around.
583
00:37:44,100 --> 00:37:47,180
It's dangerous. Stop
telling me what to do, will you?
584
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,980
Well, he's sleeping like a...
well, like a baby.
585
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,100
You're a very competent man.
586
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,220
That's a rarity around these parts.
587
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:58,180
Yeah, right (!)
Can't hold down a steady job...
588
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,180
can't find a decent girlfriend.
589
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:04,120
I'm a regular success story (!)
Could be worse.
590
00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:07,040
You could be
an agoraphobic schizophrenic.
591
00:38:07,060 --> 00:38:09,060
Yeah. Always look on the sunny side.
592
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,120
How much do I owe you?
Oh. For the baby? Nothing (!)
593
00:38:13,140 --> 00:38:16,020
And for everything else,
I'll send a bill. Perfect.
594
00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:19,020
(GROANS)
595
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,100
I seem to be
running out of endorphins.
596
00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:25,220
Do us a favour, love.
Go in the caravan.
597
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:28,160
There's a bottle of whisky
in the cupboard above the sink.
598
00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:30,180
(GROANS)
599
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:36,100
I know what you're thinking, Doc.
600
00:38:37,100 --> 00:38:39,140
You're jealous.
You want a caravan of your own.
601
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,200
Yes. That's just
what I'm thinking (!)
602
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,120
I feel sorry for you.
603
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:49,140
Having a boring life, getting
married with your wife.
604
00:38:49,220 --> 00:38:51,220
Shut up!
605
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:55,120
Don't you say my wife's name
with your...mouth!
606
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,120
Er...I've got the bottle.
607
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,000
Right. Let's relocate this shoulder.
608
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,220
I'm going to slowly pull your arm up
to 90 degrees and then rotate it.
609
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:11,020
It might hurt a bit. Are you ready?
Get on with it.
610
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,060
Agh! Aaargh!
611
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,160
(BONE CLICKS)
612
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,060
(LAUGHS)
Heaven!
613
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,040
Oh, well done, Martin.
It's a simple procedure.
614
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,080
Louisa! Are you all right?
615
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,140
Yes. You?
Yes.
616
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:38,160
Quickly. Get this off!
Hello? Are you all right?
617
00:39:42,060 --> 00:39:44,120
You clumsy git!
618
00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:46,200
How is he? Oh!
619
00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:52,200
Is he OK? Something's nicked
his carotid artery. Don't move!
620
00:39:52,220 --> 00:39:55,020
I'll call an ambulance.
There's no time.
621
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,000
In a few minutes, he'll either
have a stroke or bleed out.
622
00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:00,020
Is there anything you can do?
623
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,060
Yes. But I may need your help.
OK. Right.
624
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:10,140
Right. I need a needle and thread.
Top drawer! Right. I'll get it.
625
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:14,060
What else? Er...a razor blade.
Or a small knife.
626
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,000
In the baccy tin.
627
00:40:16,020 --> 00:40:19,200
Hurry up.
Yes, yes. I'm looking, I'm looking.
628
00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:22,020
Fishing line?
Yes. Good.
629
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,020
You need to regulate your breathing.
630
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:28,140
Try and slow your heartbeat down.
I don't wanna die.
631
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,140
Right. I've got it all.
Cotton swabs?
632
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:37,000
Where am I gonna find cotton swabs?
I don't think he has a skincare
633
00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:39,020
Right.
634
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,020
I want you to place your hand
upon mine.
635
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,240
Not you!
636
00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:47,000
When I say...place your index finger
637
00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:49,220
where mine is and apply
a constant pressure. All right?
638
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,180
Yes.
Ready?
639
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,200
Now!
640
00:40:54,180 --> 00:40:58,180
All right. I'm going to attempt to
open the wound to gain access
641
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,120
And when I've done that,
I'll try to repair it. Yes.
642
00:41:06,220 --> 00:41:08,220
Do you need help?
643
00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:10,180
Nope.
644
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,160
Right. I'll need something
to clamp the artery with.
645
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,040
That thing in your hair. That grip.
Yep.
646
00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:21,980
Do you have another bottle of
whisky? In the cupboard by the sink.
647
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
Yes.
648
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:35,020
Oh, God! Oh!
649
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,200
When I say, remove your hand,
I'll make the incision and
650
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:41,020
Yes. When I've done that,
651
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,140
hold the clamp in place
while I make the repair.
652
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,140
OK?
Right.
653
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:49,060
I mean, are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine. Right.
654
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:53,240
Now.
655
00:41:57,020 --> 00:41:59,120
Clamp.
656
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,080
All right.
Now, hold the clamp in place.
657
00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:11,240
Oh. I'm...I'm sorry.
658
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,980
It's fine.
659
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,000
This'll be over very soon.
660
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,040
One way or the other.
661
00:42:35,100 --> 00:42:38,120
Right. Let's see if it's held.
662
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:50,240
Good. We need to get you
to a hospital as soon as possible.
663
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,020
There's a road just at the back.
About...
664
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,040
15 minutes walk.
665
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:01,040
Some honeymoon, eh?
Stop talking.
666
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,100
I'm sorry.
667
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,240
For what? Well, it's not exactly
the sort of day you'd hoped for.
668
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,140
Well, it's certainly not one
that we'll ever forget, is it?
669
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,980
Which bit are you looking forward to
remembering most?
670
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Getting lost?
671
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:28,020
Held at gunpoint?
672
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,020
Or um...
673
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,020
watching this man exsanguinate.
674
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,140
I think...probably all of it.
675
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,160
I see.
676
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,980
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
Martin. Martin!
677
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Listen.
678
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,020
She's asleep.
(SIGHS)
679
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,040
So.
680
00:44:19,060 --> 00:44:21,020
Louisa...
(DOOR OPENS)
681
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,980
We'll put the luggage in here...
682
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,060
and then we can shift the blame to
Morwenna. Agh!
683
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,180
It's OK, Bert. It's not our blood.
We're fine.
684
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,020
What on earth...? Oh, my God!
685
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,060
We're fine. It's not our blood.
How's James?
686
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,180
Whose blood is it?
It's not important. I heard a noise.
687
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,240
Oh, Doc! It's not their blood, Joe.
Allegedly.
688
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
OK. Well, whatever happened,
689
00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:45,180
we can fix it -
people go missing all the time.
690
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:51,060
Are there any problems with James?
You're covered in dirt.
691
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,160
Oh! I've got wax in my eye.
I think I might be blind!
692
00:44:55,180 --> 00:44:58,220
Whose blood is it?
Don't start on the luggage, Doc.
693
00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:00,240
(ALL TALK AT ONCE)
694
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,060
Right. I'm gonna check on James.
695
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,160
I'll see to this idiot. Mm-hm.
696
00:45:07,220 --> 00:45:10,100
(ALL TALK AT ONCE, DOG BARKS)
697
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,100
Right. Go through
to the consulting room. Not you.
698
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,120
Get rid of the dog.
699
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,200
Ruth, was everything all right?
Was he OK?
700
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,220
How's his cold? Has it cleared up
now?
701
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,140
Would you like to come to dinner?
702
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,180
What do you think, darling?
703
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,240
If you have a partner or wife,
bring them too.
704
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:42,040
I'd love a glass of white.
They've been drinking already. Shh!
705
00:45:42,060 --> 00:45:45,000
Have you seen a major
sporting event...recently?
706
00:45:45,050 --> 00:45:49,600
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