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1
00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,531
[Sighs] The weekend is dragging.
2
00:00:03,594 --> 00:00:04,976
When is it gonna be Monday already?
3
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,480
Jury duty's the best.
4
00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,382
Grape-Nuts are delicious.
5
00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:10,985
What? Aren't we saying things
no one has ever said before?
6
00:00:11,087 --> 00:00:12,486
Oh, I have one.
7
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,221
"Hey, Mom, Dad, I got an 'A.'"
8
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:16,090
[Laughs]
9
00:00:16,192 --> 00:00:17,157
Monday is the start
10
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,659
of my first official week of tenure.
11
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:21,028
Oh, that's right! Congratulations!
12
00:00:21,097 --> 00:00:22,596
Best part... I get all these perks,
13
00:00:22,665 --> 00:00:24,164
like a corner office, an assistant,
14
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,799
and a key to the executive bathroom.
15
00:00:25,835 --> 00:00:27,101
No more waiting to get home to poop!
16
00:00:27,169 --> 00:00:28,869
I'm so happy for you.
17
00:00:28,971 --> 00:00:29,937
- Whatcha looking at?
- [Computer bloops]
18
00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:31,138
I need a new outfit
19
00:00:31,207 --> 00:00:33,007
because Ashley Clark
is coming through town,
20
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,508
and I'm having breakfast
with her on Monday.
21
00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:35,676
Who's Ashley Clark?
22
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:38,245
She used to be my assistant
at my old job.
23
00:00:38,314 --> 00:00:39,913
But after I had you, I got so busy,
24
00:00:39,982 --> 00:00:42,182
she was promoted,
and we became co-workers.
25
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,518
And then, after I had Oliver,
I went down to part-time,
26
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:45,986
and she became my boss.
27
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,288
And then, because of
your father's latex allergy,
28
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,424
we had Anna-Kat, and...
29
00:00:50,526 --> 00:00:51,759
Your mom stopped working.
30
00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:52,860
You're still working.
31
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,795
Being a mom is the hardest job of all.
32
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:55,763
Attaboy!
33
00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:57,131
What's Ashley up to these days?
34
00:00:57,199 --> 00:00:59,733
She's still at the company,
and past that, I don't know.
35
00:00:59,835 --> 00:01:01,935
But I do know I need
to look better than this.
36
00:01:02,004 --> 00:01:05,039
Taylor, fishing for
a compliment over here.
37
00:01:05,141 --> 00:01:06,707
Would a "you go, girl" work?
38
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:09,043
- Sure.
- You go, girl!
39
00:01:10,346 --> 00:01:12,212
Okay, it's between the pink sweater
40
00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:13,380
and the blue sweater.
41
00:01:13,482 --> 00:01:16,216
Which one says "I decided
to have three kids,
42
00:01:16,318 --> 00:01:18,018
and you got the career I always wanted,
43
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,820
but I'm happy with my choice"?
44
00:01:19,922 --> 00:01:21,822
- Are you regretting your choice?
- No. Maybe.
45
00:01:21,924 --> 00:01:23,457
Depends on the day.
46
00:01:23,559 --> 00:01:25,559
Just help me pick out the right sweater.
47
00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:28,028
You never know.
It might make all the difference.
48
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,031
Okay, the pink one.
49
00:01:31,056 --> 00:01:32,076
[Ding]
50
00:01:32,101 --> 00:01:40,174
?
51
00:01:40,743 --> 00:01:41,975
KATIE: Crap!
52
00:01:42,078 --> 00:01:43,777
Do I look like a bottle of Pepto-Bismol?
53
00:01:43,879 --> 00:01:44,878
You don't look like Pepto-Bismol.
54
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,280
Whoa, can you hear me?
55
00:01:46,348 --> 00:01:47,948
If you can read my thoughts,
56
00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:49,983
sorry about all that dirty
stuff with Chris Hemsworth.
57
00:01:50,086 --> 00:01:51,251
Don't worry. You look great.
58
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,921
My imaginary affair with Thor continues.
59
00:01:54,023 --> 00:02:00,994
?
60
00:02:01,097 --> 00:02:02,963
[Speaking in reverse]
61
00:02:03,032 --> 00:02:04,732
?
62
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,333
Just help me pick out the right sweater.
63
00:02:06,469 --> 00:02:08,702
You never know.
It might make all the difference.
64
00:02:08,804 --> 00:02:13,140
Okay, then, the blue one.
65
00:02:13,165 --> 00:02:14,218
[Ding]
66
00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:22,883
?
67
00:02:22,952 --> 00:02:24,384
Stop worrying. You look great.
68
00:02:24,453 --> 00:02:25,853
[Brushing teeth]
69
00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:29,823
?
70
00:02:29,925 --> 00:02:32,226
Ohh...
71
00:02:32,294 --> 00:02:34,561
Damn it!
72
00:02:34,663 --> 00:02:38,132
This day is gonna be great!
73
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:40,134
This day's gonna be crap!
74
00:02:40,189 --> 00:02:41,682
?
75
00:02:41,768 --> 00:02:44,503
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
76
00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:49,543
ANNA-KAT: Mama!
77
00:02:49,645 --> 00:02:51,345
What is it, baby?
78
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,513
Aww!
79
00:02:52,615 --> 00:02:55,315
You made a train out of Legos
80
00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:56,917
and derailed it.
81
00:02:57,019 --> 00:03:00,387
Yup, the 417 to Fresno. No survivors.
82
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:02,322
Can you help me with my shoe?
83
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,757
The lace is all knotted.
84
00:03:03,826 --> 00:03:05,793
Anna-Kat, how many times
have I told you,
85
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:08,095
you need to take better care
of your clothes?
86
00:03:08,124 --> 00:03:09,140
I don't know.
87
00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:10,898
5 times? 500 times?
88
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,100
It all kind of runs together
when you speak.
89
00:03:13,202 --> 00:03:14,201
[Chuckles]
90
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:15,869
You caught me on a good day,
91
00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:17,971
so I am going to show you
92
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,574
how to use an envelope as a shoehorn.
93
00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:22,009
Is this a life-hack?
94
00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:23,811
Because I love life-hacks.
95
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,979
The video where the guy uses
his sunglasses...
96
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,381
- Mm-hmm...
- as a phone stand
97
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:28,482
blew my mind.
98
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:30,851
Take the envelope, stick it in the shoe,
99
00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:34,655
and then put your foot
on the envelope, and...
100
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,423
[Gasps]
101
00:03:36,525 --> 00:03:38,759
Not that I ever think you guys
are getting divorced...
102
00:03:38,861 --> 00:03:40,594
- Mm-hmm...
- but if you do,
103
00:03:40,696 --> 00:03:42,429
I want to move in with you.
104
00:03:42,498 --> 00:03:44,198
Aww!
105
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,934
Realistically,
I can't have her full-time.
106
00:03:47,036 --> 00:03:50,404
Mama!
107
00:03:50,506 --> 00:03:51,872
[Sighs] Ow!
108
00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,140
Anna-Kat!
109
00:03:53,175 --> 00:03:55,409
Don't leave your stupid Legos
on the stupid floor!
110
00:03:55,477 --> 00:03:57,778
I can't put on my shoe because
the laces are knotted.
111
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,479
- I need help.
- I'm not in the mood for this.
112
00:03:59,548 --> 00:04:01,114
What about my shoelaces?
113
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:03,016
What about my life, Anna-Kat?!
114
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:06,820
What about my life?!
115
00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:09,356
Not that I think you guys
are ever getting divorced,
116
00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:11,558
but if you do, I want to live with Dad!
117
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:14,361
Good!
118
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:22,703
?
119
00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:25,939
Say one word, and you're
spending the night in a closet.
120
00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:27,107
?
121
00:04:27,209 --> 00:04:28,342
[Sighs]
122
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,010
Are you guys ready?
I have to drop you off
123
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:31,378
and meet my friend for breakfast.
124
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,280
I'd be ready, but she's been
hogging the bathroom!
125
00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:35,549
You're the one hogging the
bathroom with your long showers!
126
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:36,950
I don't take long showers!
127
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:39,286
For skin this smooth,
it takes as long as it takes.
128
00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:41,488
Okay, guys, let's take a breath.
129
00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:43,924
Oliver, your showers are quite long.
130
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,893
I mean, there's just not
that much to clean.
131
00:04:45,961 --> 00:04:48,028
Let's pivot to another topic, shall we?
132
00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:49,129
Fine.
133
00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:50,130
I am in a good mood,
134
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,531
so I'm gonna make you a deal.
135
00:04:51,634 --> 00:04:54,368
If you two stop fighting
for the rest of the day,
136
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:56,637
I'll give you each 40 bucks.
137
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,107
I love and cherish
these moments we have together.
138
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,809
I am blessed to have you as my sibling.
139
00:05:02,912 --> 00:05:05,012
Did you medicate the kids
without clearing it with me?
140
00:05:05,114 --> 00:05:07,180
Actually, don't answer.
I don't want to know.
141
00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:09,950
I need the room.
142
00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:11,184
[Sighs]
143
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,219
Why aren't you guys ready?!
144
00:05:12,321 --> 00:05:13,287
You're gonna make me late!
145
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,088
I have to meet my friend for breakfast!
146
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,124
I'd be ready, but she's been
hogging the bathroom!
147
00:05:17,226 --> 00:05:18,692
You're the one hogging the bathroom
148
00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:21,328
with your long showers.
149
00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:22,963
Mom didn't say anything. She just left.
150
00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:24,331
Maybe she's finally leaving us
151
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,166
to go to Mexico
to become a surf instructor,
152
00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:27,334
like she always threatens.
153
00:05:27,436 --> 00:05:30,137
You two picked the wrong day
for this crap!
154
00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:32,940
I am forcing you to get along.
155
00:05:33,008 --> 00:05:35,575
The rest of the morning,
you are attached at the wrist.
156
00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:37,144
I don't want him in my selfies!
157
00:05:37,246 --> 00:05:39,246
Yeah, and why do you have
handcuffs in your bedroom?
158
00:05:39,348 --> 00:05:41,181
It's from a costume party.
Don't worry about it.
159
00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:43,083
Hey, guys, what's going on?
160
00:05:43,152 --> 00:05:45,085
Why are the kids wearing our handcuffs?
161
00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:46,119
I mean handcuffs.
162
00:05:46,188 --> 00:05:48,689
Dad, I think they're called ham-cuffs.
163
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:51,158
- Yeah, ham-cuffs.
- Hand-cuffs.
164
00:05:51,260 --> 00:05:53,026
- Right. Ham-cuffs.
- [Groans]
165
00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:57,497
?
166
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,633
It's Teacher Planning Day again?
167
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:02,002
Why didn't any of you say something?
168
00:06:02,104 --> 00:06:04,171
Guys, are we raising ourselves?
169
00:06:04,273 --> 00:06:05,105
Nope!
170
00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:06,907
It's because you're the mom.
171
00:06:07,009 --> 00:06:10,777
Ugh! An unscheduled day
alone with my kids?
172
00:06:10,879 --> 00:06:13,146
You know what?
I'm gonna make the best of it.
173
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,215
I'm gonna turn this pee into lemonade.
174
00:06:15,317 --> 00:06:16,383
I think that's the saying.
175
00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:20,420
?
176
00:06:20,522 --> 00:06:21,688
[Scoffs]
177
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:23,457
Why are you doing this to me?!
178
00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:24,825
I have an important breakfast!
179
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,793
I can't be stuck with my kids today!
180
00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:27,761
Ugh!
181
00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:31,898
Please don't tell me the handcuff key
182
00:06:32,001 --> 00:06:33,200
was on that key chain.
183
00:06:33,302 --> 00:06:35,302
[Chuckles] Oh, it was.
184
00:06:35,404 --> 00:06:36,436
You're happy about that?
185
00:06:36,538 --> 00:06:39,873
Yes! At least now we're all miserable!
186
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,059
Hey, honey. School's canceled because of
187
00:06:44,122 --> 00:06:45,589
stupid, made-up "Teacher Planning Day."
188
00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:47,290
Way to knock down
public-school teachers.
189
00:06:47,359 --> 00:06:49,094
Those folks have been
riding high too long.
190
00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:50,824
Teacher Planning Day is the worst, Greg.
191
00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,258
But I'm making the best of it.
192
00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:54,360
I'm bringing the kids with me
to meet Ashley.
193
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:56,229
How is your first day of tenure going?
194
00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:58,073
Well, since you asked,
195
00:06:58,142 --> 00:07:00,108
my new corner office
isn't quite what I pictured.
196
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,176
What's wrong with it?
197
00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:03,011
It's small, and three different janitors
198
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,847
have come in looking for plungers.
199
00:07:04,949 --> 00:07:07,149
I'm pretty sure, 48 hours ago,
this was a supply closet.
200
00:07:07,184 --> 00:07:08,650
Can't you just ask for a new office?
201
00:07:08,752 --> 00:07:09,885
It doesn't work that way.
202
00:07:09,954 --> 00:07:11,286
Office space goes by seniority,
203
00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:12,788
so I have to wait till somebody dies,
204
00:07:12,857 --> 00:07:13,922
which could take a while.
205
00:07:13,991 --> 00:07:15,791
Professor Bailey is 76, but last year,
206
00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:17,759
he competed on "American Ninja Warrior."
207
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,027
He made it up the warped wall
and everything.
208
00:07:19,129 --> 00:07:20,762
What about your new assistant?
209
00:07:20,865 --> 00:07:22,698
Bossing someone around must be fun.
210
00:07:22,723 --> 00:07:23,633
GREG: Mm...
211
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,067
I know I'm your assistant,
212
00:07:25,135 --> 00:07:26,935
but I feel a solid bromance brewing.
213
00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:29,538
You know what, the litter box
should go in that corner.
214
00:07:29,607 --> 00:07:32,140
We're getting a cat! [Squeals]
215
00:07:32,209 --> 00:07:34,109
I feel like I've already failed
to establish boundaries.
216
00:07:34,178 --> 00:07:35,644
In a relationship,
217
00:07:35,679 --> 00:07:37,813
only one of you is allowed
to have a bad day.
218
00:07:37,882 --> 00:07:40,716
The one that's having less
of a bad day has to step up.
219
00:07:40,784 --> 00:07:41,884
Okay, honey, calm down.
220
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:43,886
The kids and I will swing by
to cheer you up
221
00:07:43,954 --> 00:07:45,454
after my breakfast with Ashley.
222
00:07:46,724 --> 00:07:48,290
This is now a professor's office.
223
00:07:48,392 --> 00:07:49,892
Yeah.
224
00:07:49,994 --> 00:07:51,894
Greg, I'm having the worst day.
225
00:07:51,996 --> 00:07:54,129
How can I make Ashley
think things are awesome
226
00:07:54,198 --> 00:07:56,398
if I dragging around
these three life-killers?
227
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,000
Also, I lost my keys.
228
00:07:58,068 --> 00:07:59,034
And to top it all off,
229
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,936
our cabbie is stopping at yellow lights
230
00:08:01,038 --> 00:08:02,604
like a total wuss!
231
00:08:02,706 --> 00:08:05,073
You thought you could stay quiet
and keep out of this tornado?
232
00:08:05,142 --> 00:08:06,642
Well, you were wrong.
233
00:08:06,744 --> 00:08:08,377
How's your first day of tenure going?
234
00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:09,645
GREG: Uh...
235
00:08:12,383 --> 00:08:14,182
A couple of little hiccups over here,
236
00:08:14,251 --> 00:08:15,551
but your stuff is worse,
237
00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:16,585
so don't worry about me.
238
00:08:16,654 --> 00:08:17,953
I'll come home early and cheer you up.
239
00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:20,956
- They give you a horn for a reason!
- [Horn blaring]
240
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:23,559
Hey, Prius, get in the bike
lane, where you belong!
241
00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:26,194
?
242
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:27,296
Sugar for your coffee?
243
00:08:27,398 --> 00:08:28,363
Thanks, bro.
244
00:08:28,432 --> 00:08:31,199
Our bond will truly last a lifetime.
245
00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:32,935
How much?
246
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:34,436
40 bucks apiece.
247
00:08:34,505 --> 00:08:35,904
Don't judge me.
248
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:39,007
Mama. I got my juice.
249
00:08:41,078 --> 00:08:43,645
Katie Otto?
250
00:08:43,747 --> 00:08:46,248
Ashley Clark!
251
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,483
It has been way too long!
252
00:08:48,586 --> 00:08:50,419
Ohh!
253
00:08:50,487 --> 00:08:51,987
You look amazing!
254
00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,488
- [Scoffs]
- Tell me everything.
255
00:08:53,591 --> 00:08:56,792
- Honestly, Ash, life is great.
- [Chuckles]
256
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,628
These are my little angels...
257
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:03,065
- Taylor, Oliver, and Anna-Kat.
- Morning.
258
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,000
- Pleased to meet you.
- Madame.
259
00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:08,737
Katie, you have a beautiful
family, and so polite.
260
00:09:08,806 --> 00:09:09,738
- [Chuckles]
- What's your secret?
261
00:09:09,807 --> 00:09:12,674
Lots of love. Not money.
262
00:09:12,743 --> 00:09:14,309
Mama, I can't get this open.
263
00:09:14,411 --> 00:09:15,677
No problem, honey.
264
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:20,182
[Lid pops]
265
00:09:20,284 --> 00:09:22,050
Now try.
266
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,922
The rubber band helps you grip.
267
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,424
- Another life-hack!
- Mm-hmm.
268
00:09:29,526 --> 00:09:31,059
This lady.
269
00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:32,427
Oh, my God.
270
00:09:32,463 --> 00:09:34,830
She's so cute, she just
made my IUD fall out.
271
00:09:34,932 --> 00:09:36,531
[Both chuckle]
272
00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:37,599
Do you have kids?
273
00:09:37,668 --> 00:09:39,401
No, no, I never settled down.
274
00:09:39,503 --> 00:09:40,636
I'm always traveling for work.
275
00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:41,580
- Mm.
- [Chuckles]
276
00:09:41,605 --> 00:09:43,438
It's all your fault, you know.
277
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,173
When you left the company,
278
00:09:45,275 --> 00:09:47,217
I started climbing the ladder,
and I never stopped.
279
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,076
[Chuckles]
280
00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:49,678
I have a boat that I never go out on.
281
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:51,279
Pier fees are killing me.
282
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,681
And... Ohh! [Gasps]
283
00:09:52,783 --> 00:09:54,383
Oh, come on!
284
00:09:54,451 --> 00:09:56,551
I just bought this suit!
285
00:09:56,654 --> 00:09:58,253
Gah!
286
00:09:58,355 --> 00:10:00,589
That was so sad.
287
00:10:00,691 --> 00:10:02,491
Totally.
288
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,360
Pier fees are getting out of control.
289
00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:07,262
?
290
00:10:07,331 --> 00:10:09,398
- TAYLOR: Stop it!
- No, you stop it!
291
00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:10,866
Why would you agree to meet her
on Teacher Planning Day
292
00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,501
wearing a shredded sweater?
293
00:10:12,569 --> 00:10:15,537
Angela, so help me, I will smash
this tiny jam jar on your forehead.
294
00:10:15,639 --> 00:10:17,806
Jam her! Jam her! Jam her!
295
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,342
Mom, tell Oliver to stop it.
296
00:10:20,444 --> 00:10:22,044
What are you fighting about now?
297
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:24,413
I want to drink my coffee,
but Oliver won't budge.
298
00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:28,050
Taylor, use your other hand.
299
00:10:28,152 --> 00:10:29,818
Oh!
300
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,221
Why didn't you tell me that?
301
00:10:33,323 --> 00:10:34,289
Cut it out!
302
00:10:34,391 --> 00:10:36,391
Okay, fine. You can have it.
303
00:10:36,493 --> 00:10:38,293
I promise I won't
jerk my hand this time.
304
00:10:40,831 --> 00:10:41,563
Bitch.
305
00:10:41,665 --> 00:10:44,566
Mama, I got my juice.
306
00:10:44,635 --> 00:10:45,400
Whoa! [Gasps]
307
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:46,268
[Both gasp]
308
00:10:46,336 --> 00:10:49,237
What the hell, Anna-Kat?!
309
00:10:49,339 --> 00:10:51,540
I tripped on my shoelace
because you wouldn't help me!
310
00:10:51,642 --> 00:10:52,808
You ruined my sweater!
311
00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:54,776
And you ruined my first-grade diorama.
312
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:56,611
That's right. I forget nothing.
313
00:10:58,582 --> 00:10:59,815
Katie Otto?
314
00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:01,850
Hide the handcuffs or die.
315
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,152
Ashley Clark! [Chuckles]
316
00:11:04,254 --> 00:11:05,220
Keep an eye on things.
317
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:07,422
If it goes bad, get me out of here.
318
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,357
[Both chuckle]
319
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,393
It has been way too long!
320
00:11:11,495 --> 00:11:13,061
Look at you.
321
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,964
Oh, I would totally hug,
but this is a new suit, so...
322
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,032
Oh.
323
00:11:17,101 --> 00:11:18,533
- So, Katie.
- Mm-hmm?
324
00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:19,835
Tell me everything.
325
00:11:19,937 --> 00:11:21,703
[Chuckling] Well...
326
00:11:21,772 --> 00:11:24,673
Honestly, Ash, life is great.
327
00:11:24,775 --> 00:11:27,809
But earlier, you said you hate
your horrible, stupid life.
328
00:11:27,878 --> 00:11:29,211
She's playing opposite day right now.
329
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,345
No, I'm not.
330
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:31,379
The girl's consistent.
331
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,814
So, are those your other two?
332
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:35,283
I have to go to the bathroom.
333
00:11:35,385 --> 00:11:36,284
Hey!
334
00:11:36,353 --> 00:11:37,819
I'm not watching you pee!
335
00:11:37,921 --> 00:11:39,454
It's either pee in there
or pee out here.
336
00:11:39,556 --> 00:11:41,423
Your choice!
337
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,591
- Ohh!
- [Glasses shatter]
338
00:11:42,693 --> 00:11:44,092
[Gasps]
339
00:11:44,128 --> 00:11:47,329
No. The other two are out
feeding the homeless.
340
00:11:47,397 --> 00:11:48,797
Mom, he's trying to make me
watch him pee!
341
00:11:48,899 --> 00:11:50,165
[Chuckling] Oh!
342
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,833
There they are.
343
00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:54,236
Are they... handcuffed together?
344
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,339
- So, what about you?
- Oh.
345
00:11:57,441 --> 00:11:59,341
Are you married? Do you have kids?
346
00:11:59,443 --> 00:12:01,143
No, I have a boat and lovers.
347
00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:03,879
I have a minivan and Greg.
348
00:12:03,981 --> 00:12:05,747
So, how long are you in town for?
349
00:12:05,816 --> 00:12:07,382
Well, I'm in Westport till Wednesday
350
00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:08,617
to pitch to Martha Stewart.
351
00:12:08,719 --> 00:12:11,920
And then I go to New York
to do a TED Talk.
352
00:12:11,989 --> 00:12:13,388
That sounds amazing.
353
00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,657
To be honest, Katie,
I owe it all to you.
354
00:12:15,759 --> 00:12:17,058
How so?
355
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,528
You were the one in line
for all those promotions.
356
00:12:19,596 --> 00:12:20,572
I mean, just think,
357
00:12:20,604 --> 00:12:22,137
if you didn't have these three...
358
00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:23,365
- Mm-hmm...
- you'd be me.
359
00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,600
[Both laugh]
360
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:26,802
Can you imagine?
361
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,370
That is so funny!
362
00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:29,604
[Both laugh]
363
00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:31,206
Uh, should we jump in?
364
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:32,941
No. I think we already
missed our moment.
365
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,176
We should probably leave.
366
00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:35,844
Yeah, but then Katie will be
stuck with the check.
367
00:12:35,946 --> 00:12:37,813
So? She's already gonna be pissed at us.
368
00:12:37,915 --> 00:12:40,048
- Good point. Let's bounce.
- Yeah.
369
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,117
?
370
00:12:42,186 --> 00:12:44,019
I knew you were in a bad mood,
so I brought you
371
00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:45,754
People Magazine's Crossword Puzzle Book.
372
00:12:45,856 --> 00:12:46,922
It always helps your self-esteem.
373
00:12:47,024 --> 00:12:48,857
Damn right it does.
I could do it in ink.
374
00:12:48,959 --> 00:12:51,092
- What happened here?
- Can't.
375
00:12:51,195 --> 00:12:52,194
You've got the kids.
376
00:12:52,296 --> 00:12:53,395
I'm going upstairs
377
00:12:53,497 --> 00:12:57,098
to imagine our children
are a 27-foot catamaran.
378
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:59,734
[Sighs]
379
00:12:59,837 --> 00:13:04,873
?
380
00:13:04,975 --> 00:13:09,978
?
381
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,414
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
382
00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:13,648
Ohh.
383
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,684
My life is awesome!
384
00:13:15,786 --> 00:13:16,854
My life sucks!
385
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,238
Did your breakfast date
really go that badly?
386
00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:27,943
It was a disaster.
387
00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:31,580
Ashley is a big CEO
who travels the world.
388
00:13:31,649 --> 00:13:33,349
She's a success,
389
00:13:33,417 --> 00:13:37,130
and I missed my opportunity
to become a success, too.
390
00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:38,634
Katie, you are a success.
391
00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:40,202
Your opinion doesn't matter.
392
00:13:40,271 --> 00:13:42,013
You think I'm sexy after
I eat a Bloomin' Onion.
393
00:13:42,115 --> 00:13:43,714
Well, I love you.
394
00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:45,716
And the way you look in that
Outback Steakhouse lighting,
395
00:13:45,818 --> 00:13:46,984
come on, I'm only human.
396
00:13:47,053 --> 00:13:49,620
[Both laugh]
397
00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:52,390
I'm trying to feel sorry for myself.
398
00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,992
So if you can't get onboard
with the pity party, get out.
399
00:13:55,061 --> 00:13:56,794
How can I help?
400
00:13:56,863 --> 00:14:00,331
Build a time machine
and a tolerance to latex.
401
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:05,436
?
402
00:14:05,505 --> 00:14:06,871
It seems only fair that the person
403
00:14:06,939 --> 00:14:08,439
who has the handcuff on their right hand
404
00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:09,440
loses their thumb.
405
00:14:09,509 --> 00:14:11,042
- Anna-Kat, chop-chop.
- On it.
406
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:12,910
No one's losing their thumb, Anna-Kat.
407
00:14:13,012 --> 00:14:15,313
Okay, Mom's having a bad day,
and so am I.
408
00:14:15,381 --> 00:14:16,747
But I'm not allowed to have my bad day
409
00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:18,082
until I first fix her bad day.
410
00:14:18,184 --> 00:14:19,283
And you're gonna help me.
411
00:14:19,352 --> 00:14:21,285
How are we supposed to do that
with these things on?
412
00:14:21,354 --> 00:14:23,454
Anna-Kat, I need to borrow a bobby pin.
413
00:14:23,556 --> 00:14:25,089
Yeah... Hey!
414
00:14:25,158 --> 00:14:27,758
That's it. There we go.
415
00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:30,394
Wow, Dad. Where'd you learn to do that?
416
00:14:30,463 --> 00:14:32,930
I figured it out one night
when your mom and I...
417
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:34,632
YouTube.
418
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:37,702
?
419
00:14:37,727 --> 00:14:38,579
Hi!
420
00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:40,237
We have guests!
421
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,139
I knew you were in a bad mood,
422
00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:44,842
so we brought you some unsalted nuts.
423
00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:46,277
Because they're your favorite,
424
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:48,112
- and your happiness is important to us.
- ANNA-KAT: Mm-hmm.
425
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,190
How much are you paying them?
426
00:14:49,215 --> 00:14:51,615
- We're up to $60.
- What is he doing?
427
00:14:51,684 --> 00:14:53,451
He's in a highly competitive
charades league.
428
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,019
He likes to practice in his free time.
429
00:14:55,088 --> 00:14:56,153
[Hisses]
430
00:14:56,222 --> 00:14:58,055
- "Jurassic Park"!
- Nailed it!
431
00:14:58,157 --> 00:14:59,657
You know, I used to be lonely.
432
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,992
Now I have all of you. My new family.
433
00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:03,394
Now I have a place to go for Christmas!
434
00:15:03,496 --> 00:15:04,228
Mm!
435
00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:05,863
[Chuckles]
436
00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,698
I need some air.
437
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:12,703
So your office is
a little claustrophobic.
438
00:15:12,772 --> 00:15:14,238
You always love getting MRIs.
439
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,207
I worked so hard for tenure,
and now that I have it,
440
00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:18,743
I feel like I'm starting
at the bottom all over again.
441
00:15:18,778 --> 00:15:21,746
And I built up the executive
washroom in my head too much.
442
00:15:21,848 --> 00:15:23,547
- Like, it's fine.
- Mm-hmm.
443
00:15:23,649 --> 00:15:26,450
There are these fancy soaps
that are not candy.
444
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:27,651
Right.
445
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:31,055
I'm gonna take a walk.
446
00:15:31,157 --> 00:15:33,357
?
447
00:15:33,459 --> 00:15:35,760
[Grunts]
448
00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:38,129
"Precious: Based on the Novel
'Push' by Sapphire."
449
00:15:38,231 --> 00:15:39,463
Yes! I'm so good!
450
00:15:39,532 --> 00:15:43,000
We need to find a way
to lift your dad's spirits.
451
00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:44,001
I'm in.
452
00:15:44,103 --> 00:15:45,336
Taylor? Oliver?
453
00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:47,004
- How much?
- How much?
454
00:15:47,106 --> 00:15:48,706
You want to get paid
to help your father?
455
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:51,275
He's the greatest man I have ever known.
456
00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:52,643
When you get a chance to help him,
457
00:15:52,712 --> 00:15:54,011
you seize the opportunity.
458
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,148
I had a chance like that once,
and I let it slip away.
459
00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:59,817
Oakland. Summer of '98.
460
00:15:59,886 --> 00:16:02,753
Black smoke fills my childhood bedroom.
461
00:16:02,855 --> 00:16:05,089
And where there's smoke...
462
00:16:05,191 --> 00:16:06,624
there's fire.
463
00:16:06,726 --> 00:16:07,858
"Grant!
464
00:16:07,927 --> 00:16:11,028
Your stepfather's trapped upstairs!"
465
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,563
"I'm on it!"
466
00:16:12,632 --> 00:16:15,132
But the flames.
There's flames everywhere.
467
00:16:15,201 --> 00:16:18,068
"Mama, I can't!
The flames are in the way!
468
00:16:18,171 --> 00:16:20,137
Mama, the flames are stopping me!"
469
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:22,373
Inspirational story, Grant,
470
00:16:22,475 --> 00:16:24,542
but I got this.
471
00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:28,279
Taylor, Oliver, I should have
never gone easy on you two.
472
00:16:28,347 --> 00:16:31,949
You are gonna stop being selfish
and help me cheer him up.
473
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,117
Come on.
474
00:16:33,219 --> 00:16:36,420
Let's go.
475
00:16:36,489 --> 00:16:37,455
[Sighs]
476
00:16:37,523 --> 00:16:39,223
You got to tell me how that story ends.
477
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,301
Yadda, yadda, yadda,
478
00:16:40,326 --> 00:16:42,893
now Daddy gets jumpy at barbecues.
479
00:16:42,995 --> 00:16:44,462
?
480
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,997
"Honey, I 'Blanked' the Kids."
481
00:16:47,099 --> 00:16:50,134
Sold? Abandoned? Misplaced?
482
00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,236
- Katie.
- I'll come back to it.
483
00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:53,904
Go away. I'm wallowing.
484
00:16:53,973 --> 00:16:55,405
Ashley Clark's life is a fraud!
485
00:16:55,483 --> 00:16:56,574
OLIVER: At Stewart and Kingston's,
486
00:16:56,642 --> 00:16:59,443
Ashley kept bragging
how awesome her life was.
487
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,978
So much so, it seemed suspicious.
488
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,880
So we took a deep dive
into her social media
489
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:04,381
and found this.
490
00:17:04,484 --> 00:17:06,884
You come in here just to show me
her perfect fruit salad?
491
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:08,552
It's all berries and mango.
492
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:09,887
None of that honeydew garbage.
493
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:12,423
No. Look across
from Ashley Clark's food.
494
00:17:12,525 --> 00:17:13,691
There's no other place setting.
495
00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:15,693
There's hundreds of pics just like this.
496
00:17:15,795 --> 00:17:17,495
In all of them, she's eating alone.
497
00:17:17,597 --> 00:17:19,597
She is? Let me see that.
498
00:17:19,632 --> 00:17:21,332
And she's on four
different dating sites.
499
00:17:21,434 --> 00:17:23,100
- All active.
- No.
500
00:17:23,202 --> 00:17:24,702
Are you sure?
501
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,770
We went on one of those
background-check sites
502
00:17:26,873 --> 00:17:28,439
and found more good news.
503
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:31,509
She was arrested for
public intoxication in '08.
504
00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:33,711
So, doesn't the fact that
Ashley regrets her life choices
505
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:34,789
make you feel better?
506
00:17:34,814 --> 00:17:35,946
A little.
507
00:17:36,015 --> 00:17:37,615
But not as much as the fact
508
00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:40,417
that you guys rallied to cheer me up.
509
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,186
So, you're in a better mood?
510
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:44,054
Yes.
511
00:17:44,123 --> 00:17:46,524
Great. Now I can wallow.
512
00:17:46,626 --> 00:17:47,625
[Sighs]
513
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,527
This bed is bigger than my office.
514
00:17:49,662 --> 00:17:53,797
?
515
00:17:55,715 --> 00:17:57,067
What are you doing out here?
516
00:17:57,136 --> 00:17:59,103
Go on in.
517
00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:01,705
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
518
00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:09,046
[Birds chirping]
519
00:18:09,115 --> 00:18:12,449
Wow, it looks so much better in here.
520
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,251
I printed some family pictures online
521
00:18:14,353 --> 00:18:15,386
and made a collage.
522
00:18:15,488 --> 00:18:17,187
I convinced Grant to put
his desk in the hallway.
523
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,289
GRANT: Ca-caw!
524
00:18:18,357 --> 00:18:19,523
He's already in here!
525
00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:21,225
And I lit a vanilla candle
526
00:18:21,327 --> 00:18:23,260
to offset that pukey, moppy smell.
527
00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:26,530
So, what do you think?
528
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:27,898
I love it.
529
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,167
But I'm not sure this small
office can fit so much joy.
530
00:18:30,269 --> 00:18:31,468
GRANT: I hear a lot of love in there!
531
00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:34,071
And Grant helped, too.
532
00:18:34,173 --> 00:18:36,173
Would it be a huge mistake
to invite him for dinner?
533
00:18:36,242 --> 00:18:37,141
Yes, definitely.
534
00:18:37,243 --> 00:18:39,410
Guys, my ears are burning!
535
00:18:39,512 --> 00:18:42,746
Ha! Oh, my God,
I sound just like my dad!
536
00:18:42,848 --> 00:18:43,948
Mm-hmm.
537
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:45,215
?
538
00:18:45,318 --> 00:18:46,884
[All cheer]
539
00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:49,186
Oh, thanks for inviting me over.
[Chuckles]
540
00:18:49,288 --> 00:18:51,956
When you're part of the family,
everyone's in it together.
541
00:18:52,024 --> 00:18:53,857
When someone else is having a bad day,
542
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,794
it's your job to lift their spirits.
543
00:18:56,896 --> 00:18:58,562
[All cheering]
544
00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:01,665
Thank you so much for inviting me!
545
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,734
And when you're having a bad day,
546
00:19:03,836 --> 00:19:06,236
you can rely on your family
to lift you up.
547
00:19:06,339 --> 00:19:07,871
Having people who care about you
548
00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:11,108
is way more important than
being the CEO of some company.
549
00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:12,810
Why are you still wearing that sweater?
550
00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:14,178
I paid for overnight shipping.
551
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,779
I'm gonna be buried in this thing.
552
00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:16,791
[Laughs]
553
00:19:16,816 --> 00:19:18,749
?
554
00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:22,331
Just help me pick out the right sweater.
555
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:25,024
You never know.
It might make all the difference.
556
00:19:25,118 --> 00:19:26,445
Okay, then...
557
00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:27,508
Uh, forget the sweaters.
558
00:19:27,574 --> 00:19:29,071
I like the green jacket.
559
00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:31,128
[Ding]
560
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:38,038
?
561
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,187
Ohh. You look good.
562
00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,288
Thank you!
563
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:43,591
Tell you what.
Instead of meeting Ashley...
564
00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:45,259
[Drawer opens]
565
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:48,329
I've got a better idea.
566
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:49,930
I'll cancel my breakfast.
567
00:19:50,032 --> 00:19:51,498
[Handcuffs rattle]
568
00:19:51,601 --> 00:19:53,834
[Chuckles]
569
00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:56,203
?
570
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,148
[Sighs]
571
00:19:57,173 --> 00:19:58,572
I never should have gone
572
00:19:58,674 --> 00:19:59,940
with the green jacket.
573
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:01,075
Hmm.
574
00:20:01,177 --> 00:20:02,643
[Speaking in reverse]
575
00:20:02,745 --> 00:20:05,813
?
576
00:20:05,915 --> 00:20:07,114
You never know.
577
00:20:07,216 --> 00:20:08,782
It might make all the difference.
578
00:20:08,884 --> 00:20:11,418
?
579
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,288
Uh, I'll just find something
on the floor of my closet.
580
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,888
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